California Dreamin’ – 1982 to 1984 – Maryana – Moving Quickly Too Slowly

I met a girl on the beach in Venice and hit it off right away. She lived about and hour away, and she said she wanted to go to a local national park (Buckhorn) and go hiking and have a picnic. I’m not really a camping kind of guy, but she was super hot and I couldn’t say no. To me the great outdoors is where I keep the car. Roughing it is a hotel without room service. The wilderness is Walmart.

I get to her house to pick her up and see that she has packed a tent, sleeping bags, a cooler, and basically a full weekend worth of camping equipment. I told her I thought we were just going hiking and she said “I figured we could just camp out overnight. Just get me back home in time for church in the morning.”

Church? Umm… okay.

So we head out, we set up the tent, go for a hike, swim in the lake, have dinner in the lodge, head back to the campsite, make a fire, and settle in for the night. Later, in the tent, stuff starts happening. After awhile she says, “Can we wait a bit on that, and just go to sleep?”

I oblige and we sleep.

In the early morning hours, she wakes me up by making it very clear the wait is over. We get it on and it’s glorious.

After we finish, she starts crying. She apologizes and says she’s not ready to be in a relationship. I tell her I understand but I’m pretty confused by this point.

We pack up everything and I drive her home and drop her off at her house.

I go into work and there’s a call for me on the house phone. It’s my roommate/bassist Frank. He asks “What the fuck are you doing?” I tell him I have no idea what he’s talking about. He says “The Sheriff’s department just came by here looking for you and asking if I knew your whereabouts. You’re wanted in the disappearance of some girl. Her family said she never came home last night. They went to her place first but nobody was there.”
Apparently, she wasn’t home for church and her family freaked out. I called her and told her to please contact the Sheriff and let them know she was not, in fact kidnapped. She laughed and then called them.

That scared the shit out of me.
We never had a second date.

 

 

Philadelphia, PA, USA

Author: phicklephilly

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