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City Issues Stay at Home Order Clarifying Restrictions on Business Activity in Philadelphia
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10 Things That Make Men Catch Major Feelings For You

These tricks can make guys catch feelings really quick.

If there’s one thing that’s hard for most girls to figure out, it’s how to get a guy to like you and legitimately care about you.

The truth is that it can take a bit of effort to make a guy want you as more than just a quick lay, especially if they’re a bit obtuse.

That being said, getting a guy to care about you — and maybe even fall in love with you — might be possible if you know what to do.

Here are 10 of the easiest ways to make him chase you in a loving, caring way.

1. Talk to him about intimate details of your life, and ask him about his.

Tell him funny stories from your childhood. Ask him about how he got that one scar.

Show that you are interested in him as a person and things will go far.

2. Show him your vulnerable side.

The key thing here is to make him want to protect you, not make him want to call a therapist.

A little vulnerability (not insecurity) is good. Too much will make you look like a clingy, desperate mess.

3. Hold eye contact.

Studies show that prolonged eye contact makes men more likely to fall in love with you.

4. Make a nice meal for him.

You know how older women always tell girls that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach?

Well, they’re not lying.

Showing off your domestic goddess side will make most men think about you in a different way.

5. Back off if you think he’s taking you for granted.

The easiest way to make someone realize what they’ve lost is to remove it from their lives, even if it’s temporary.

When you make yourself scarce, he ends up realizing that people like you don’t come around every day.

That makes him care more than hounding him for attention.

6. Use a Pavlovian training method.

Pavlov was a smart man. He trained dogs to drool by associating a reward with a sound.

You can take a cue from his training by trying to get guys to associate good feelings or feelings of empowerment with you.

By giving them compliments and showing your desire for them, they start to want to be around you more and more.

7. Have sex regularly and frequently.

Ever notice how people who have sex frequently tend to end up in a relationship?

If the sex is good, chances are that his hormones might kick into “caring” gear rather than just “gratification” gear.

8. Act like a friend, too.

The last thing that guys want to have around them is a girl who acts like she’s more interested in a relationship than she is in the guy she’s talking to.

If you want him to care about you, treat him like a friend that you’re also sexually interested in.

9. Hold his hand.

This simple gesture actually releases hormones that spark love in men.

10. Communicate your desire.

The one thing men want more than anything else is to be wanted.

Showing him that you want him will likely make him care for you.

 

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6 Facts About Vaginismus Doctors Want You To Know

According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, three-quarters of people with vaginas will experience painful sex at some point. While the reasons vary — ovarian cysts, endometriosis, or not be sufficiently aroused can all cause painful sex — vaginismus is one little-talked-about condition that affects two out of every 1,000 people with a vagina in their lifetime. So why don’t more people know about it?

“Vaginismus is the involuntary contracture of the muscles surrounding the vagina essentially constricting the vaginal orifice, making it extremely difficult and painful to experience sexual intercourse,” Dr. Felice Gersh, M.D., an OB/GYN, founder and director of the Integrative Medical Group of Irvine, and author of PCOS SOS: A Gynecologist’s Lifeline To Naturally Restore Your Rhythms, Hormones and Happiness, tells Bustle. Vaginismus doesn’t just prevent intercourse — it can prevent the insertion of anything into the vagina, like a tampon or suppository.

Although vaginismus is treatable, embarrassment and stigma often keeps people from talking to their doctor about it. And that can have major repercussions.

“Some patients are unable to get pap smears because doctors cannot get the speculum into their vaginas,” Dr. Jennifer Caudle, a family physician and assistant professor at Rowan University School of Osteopathic Medicine, tells Bustle. It’s important to treat the underlying causes behind vaginismus in order to access care — but it’s hard to seek out treatment if you don’t know what you’re treating in the first place.

Here’s what no one tells you about vaginismus.

1. Vaginismus Isn’t Just Physical

Ashley Batz for Bustle

Although it may seem like vaginismus is mostly physical and biological, it’s more complicated than that.

“Most people don’t realize that vaginismus has biological [and] psychological aspects,” Dr. Anna Yam, PhD, a clinical psychologist who specializes in pelvic pain including vaginismus, and owner of Bloom Psychology, tells Bustle.

As Dr. Yam explains, vaginismus is similar to an eye blink in that the contraction of the muscles in the vagina are involuntary and usually triggered by “perception of a threat.” That threat being the fear of pain during intercourse, or when another object is inserted in the vagina.

“Biological muscle contraction is reinforced by the psychological fear, and vice-versa,” Dr. Yam says, creating a vicious cycle.

The factors that lead to vaginismus are a combination of biological, physical, psychological, and others that need more study.

2. It’s Common In People With Little Sexual Experience

For people who have either never had penetrative sex or have only had it a few times, fear of having painful sex can be amplified, leading to vaginismus. While there aren’t solid statistics around this association, Dr. Laurence Gerlis, a UK-based general practitioner, tells Bustle that the anxiety that comes with having little to no experience can set off the vaginismus, and in severe cases can prevent intercourse of any kind. It’s important to treat vaginismus by managing this underlying anxiety, the Mayo Clinic says.

3. It Can Interfere With One’s Social Life

Ashley Batz for Bustle

Whenever someone has a deep fear of anything — whether that’s a fear of spiders or of something more dangerous — it can keep them from living their life.

“Women with vaginismus might avoid dating and those who date often feel (internally or externally) pressured to resolve the issue in order to have penetrative sex,” Dr. Yam says. But while dating with vaginismus might be tricky, it’s not impossible.

As Dr. Yam explains, this fear can be the result of this pressure, especially in a society that puts so much emphasis on sex. In turn, it can lead to even more fear and anxiety.

“Social and emotional pressure is also perceived as a threat and can similarly interfere with treatment,” Dr. Yam says. That’s why it’s important to address it as soon as possible, before the pressure becomes too intense.

4. It Can Be Caused By Sexual Trauma

While for some people vaginismus is brought on by general anxiety that brings on the tightening of the muscles, for others, the contractions can be brought on as a result of sexual trauma.

“Many, but certainly not all, [people] with this condition have experienced sexual trauma at sometime during their lives,” Dr. Gersh says. Dr. Gerlis adds that emotional abuse, in addition to sexual abuse, can also play a role in developing vaginismus. Seeking out a therapist can help manage a person’s response to trauma.

5. It Can Interfere With Pregnancy

Pregnant woman in airplane chair. Belly of pregnant.

Shutterstock

Because of the stigma surrounding vaginismus, not enough people seek treatment. This causes not only living with pain, but in severe cases, according to Dr. Gerlis, it can make conception difficult. It can also create an unsafe pregnancy, as a 2019 study found. Of the 20 pregnant people with vaginismus in the study, only 50% reported going to follow-up visits during the duration of their pregnancy. Although regular doctor’s visits are necessary during pregnancy, what kept these people from visiting the doctor regularly was feelings of shame. The same study also found that 40% of these people had never consulted a doctor about their vaginismus.

If sex hurts, for any reason, it’s important to be open with your doctor so that you can treat the underlying issues.

6. It’s Very Treatable

Although having vaginismus may be hard to talk about for some, it’s absolutely treatable. According to Dr. Gersh, working with physical therapist who specializes in pelvic floor musculoskeletal issues is a good place to start.

“Often just working with vaginal dilators and practicing relaxation techniques will easily resolve this condition,” Dr. Gersh says. “Sometimes anti-inflammatory vaginal suppositories or muscle relaxants are helpful.”

As is the case with any pain during sex, vaginismus can’t be diagnosed and treated without a doctor’s input. Fear of what might be “wrong” just stands in the way of people living a life without pain. And everyone deserves to live without pain.

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, you can call the National Sexual Assault Telephone Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673) or visit online.rainn.org.

 

 

Tales of Rock – The 6 Most (Certifiably) Insane Tales of Rock Star Behavior

We expect our rock stars to be a little crazy. Sex, drugs and trashed hotel rooms are all part of the rocking package.

But even in the crazy-ass world these artists live in, sometimes there’s an incident that makes everybody stop and say, “Dude.”

For instance…

Prince Assaults Sinead O’Connor … For Cursing

 

In the early 90s, Sinead O’Connor scored a massive hit with her cover of the Prince-penned “Nothing Compares To You.” Sorry, that should probably read “Nothing Compares 2 U.” We are talking about Prince after all. At any rate, according to O’Connor, His Purpleness was less than thrilled with her decision to cover the song since he was already planning to give it to a female protege of his, perhaps in exchange for a series of unthinkable sex acts.

When he met with Sinead to discuss the situation, things got a bit out of hand. And by “out of hand” we mean “they got in a goddamned fistfight.”

It started with Prince berating the shorn-locked singer for, of all things, cursing in interviews. She replied with a diplomatic and sympathetic “go fuck yourself.” At that point, O’Connor claims Prince became physically threatening, or at least to the extent Prince can physically threaten anyone.

At that point the two went at it, in what was probably the most effeminate fistfight of all time. Prince used his fists, O’Connor used loogies. “All I could do was spit. I spat on him quite a bit,” she said. Classy! Not that beating women is any classier, but seriously, how would you feel if you were robbed of the chance to pass one of your most enduring tunes onto one of your talented proteges? Imagine the possibilities!

Oh, shit!

Ozzy Osbourne Impresses Record Execs… By Biting the Head Off a Dove

 

That Ozzy Osbourne once bit the head off a bat is old news. To the credit of his sanity, he apparently didn’t know it was a real bat. Plus, he was in Des Moines, Iowa at the time. When you’re spending an evening in a place like Iowa, you find your fun however you can.

A slightly less famous incident happened at CBS Records’ Los Angeles office shortly after Ozzy left Black Sabbath to embark on a solo career. Sensing that CBS was not overly interested in her husband or his music, Sharon Osbourne decided it would be a good idea for Ozzy to show up at a meeting with CBS executives with a couple of live doves in pockets. The idea was that he would release them into the air when he walked in. And who wouldn’t be impressed by having a couple of albino birds hurled into the air at their place of employment?

But Ozzy, ever the showman, decided that instead of releasing the doves, he would take one out of his pocket and delightfully bite its head off as CBS employees looked on in horror. According to an eyewitness, the reaction was an understandably stunned silence followed by Ozzy being hastily removed from the room, presumably while little spurts of blood shot from the bird’s ragged neck stump.

This is the kind of story that, over the years, becomes so shrouded in legend that people start to question whether it is even true, us included. But, admittedly, this picture of Ozzy Osbourne biting off the head of a dove while shocked record execs look on is pretty damning evidence.

Carlos Santana Gives All Glory to… Metatron?

 

It’s not unusual these days for an artist to score a huge album and, in later interviews, give all the credit for their success to God. Ok, it’s not unusual for rappers and R&B singers at least. But in a 1999 interview with Rolling Stone, Carlos Santana awesomely took things a step further.

Those skeptics among us would be tempted to credit the success of the album largely to the fact that it consisted mostly of Carlos playing guitar on songs that, otherwise, didn’t resemble Santana songs in the least. But when asked about the inspiration for his comeback album Supernatural (of course) Carlos credited a mystical spirit named Metatron.

In Carlos’ own words:

“I know it sounds New Age… but in my meditation, this entity – which is called Metatron – he said, ‘we want to hook you back to the radio airwave frequency. We want you to reach junior high schools, high schools and universities. Once you reach them – because we are going to connect you with the best artists of the day, then we want you to present them a new menu. Let them know that they are themselves, multidimensional spirits with enormous possibilities and opportunities. We want you to present them with a new form of existence that transcends religion, politics or the modus operandi of education today'”

Alrighty then!

He also went on to say, “Metatron is the architect of physical life. Because of him, we can French-kiss, we can hug, we can get a hot dog, wiggle our toe.” Well, we do certainly dig hot dogs. And we like a god who may possibly be a Transformer. Then again … Metatron claimed the album would feature “the best artists of the day.” This would be an album that featured both Rob Thomas and Everlast.

We’d have to say we’re non-believers, Santana.

Serge Gainsbourg Sings About Incest… With His Daughter

 

Legendary (to French people) pop singer Serge Gainsbourg was never any stranger to odd behavio(u)r. But the line between strange and crazy is a fine one. Take, for example, the time he appeared with Whitney Houston on what amounted to the European version of The View and said, and we quote, “I want to fuck you.” Strange? Sure. Crazy? No, it was 1985, who didn’t want to nail Whitney Houston in 1985?

No, the Whitney incident was downright boring compared to Gainsbourg’s single “Lemon Incest.” There is nothing inherently strange about singing about incest, we suppose. Aerosmith had a huge hit that was about incest (“Janie’s Got A Gun”). But it’s not like anyone thought any differently about Steven Tyler because of the song.

OK, bad example

But to sing about incest with Joe Perry on lead guitar is one thing. To sing about it with your daughter on co-lead vocals, that’s some whole other shit altogether.

And that’s exactly what Gainsbourg did on “Lemon Incest,” a duet with his quite young daughter Charlotte. It’s at this point that our European readers will scold us for being “dumb Americans” who “misunderstood” the song. And hey, that may be. Or maybe Europeans just have hotter kids than we do. Whatever the case, it’s hard to read these lyrics without getting a bit of the heebie jeebies:

The love that we will never together,

Is the most beautiful, the most violent, the purest, the most intoxicating,

Exquisite outline, delicious child, my flesh and my blood,

Oh my baby my soul,

Incest lemon, lemon incest

But surely, seeing the video for the song will dispel any misunderstandings about the meaning of the song, right? What father doesn’t croon about incest over sleazy electronic music while laying shirtless in bed with his kid? In a perfect world, fucking all of them.

Whitney Houston Gets the Christmas Spirit… By Joining a Cult

 

Speaking of Whitney …

It takes a lot to out-crazy Bobby Brown. But time and again, Whitney rises to the occasion. In a stunt that Bobby couldn’t dream up in a hundred crack-filled years, Houston traveled to Israel in 2003 to spend time with a cult group known as the Black Hebrews. Her reasoning for the trip? To find inspiration for her upcoming Christmas album.

Hanging out with Jews to get inspired for Christmas? Hey, why the hell not? But the group, on the surface just a run-of-the-mill religious group, is purported by some to be more like a cult. Given their unorthodox policies of polygamy (men are allowed seven wives) and, much more ominously, strict vegetarianism, it’s not much of a stretch.

“Crack is vegetarian, right?”

According to some former members, the group believes so heavily in discipline that, not only have children died while being beaten by their parents, but adults are also beaten for failing to abide by the laws of the group’s settlement. Adults who have fallen ill due to the strict diet imposed on them have refused medical attention due to their refusal to visit “heathen doctors” in Europe and American.

Needless to say, Houston was sold. By the time she left, Whitney was referring to Israel as “my land.” And Bobby was probably on the hunt for six more wives. What a bunch of lucky ladies!

Phil Spector Kidnaps The Ramones

 

Legendary producer and songwriter Phil Spector is one of those guys who is batshit insane, but you’d never know it from his calm, reassuring exterior.

You can’t judge a book by its cover.

The above photo is what he looked like when he showed up to his trial for murder charges, looking as sane as possible to impress the jury. Anyway, what is so surprising is how successful he managed to become while spewing the crazy on damn near everyone around him.

Like the time he put a loaded gun to Leonard Cohen’s head. Or that one time when he fired a shot in the studio while he was working with John Lennon. Or all of the other times he allegedly pulled guns on the artists he worked with. But if one incident takes the cake over all of them, it would be the time when Phil allegedly held The Ramones at gunpoint, while working on their End of the Century album.

According to bassist Dee Dee Ramone, while in the studio Phil pulled Joey Ramone away for a private meeting. Dee Dee went off in search of the pair, at which point he says Spector emerged at the top of a staircase, waving a pistol around.

After Dee Dee objected to, you know, having a gun pulled on him and shit, he told Phil he was leaving. That he did this instead of, say, diving behind a piece of furniture while screaming, indicates that the sight of Spector with a gun wasn’t all that uncommon.

At that point, Spector allegedly pointed the gun at Dee Dee’s chest and motioned for the rest of the band to return to the piano room. Then, with the band captive in the locked room, he sat at a piano and made the band listen to him sing “Baby, I Love You.”

Repeatedly.

Until 4:30 in the morning.

But on the bright side, at least nobody got shot in the face!