Social Distancing Pick-Up Lines Have Arrived & They’re The Comic Relief You Needed

Finding love in the time of coronavirus may be difficult, but the internet certainly isn’t letting that stop it. Amidst growing numbers of COVID-19 lockdowns and CDC-recommended social distancing, it was only a matter of time before #SocialDistancingPickUpLines started trending on Twitter. If you’re looking for a way to stay salacious but sanitary, let these tweets be your guide.

Though we’re all practicing social distancing — you’re doing that right? Staying home or at least six-feet from other people? Good, just checking — we can still keep it sexy from afar. There’s sexting, sexy video chatting, phone sex, foot pics, toe pics, sending nudes, sliding into someone’s DMs, self-isolating but as a euphemism, and, of course, Facebook pokes.

Yes, you can still poke someone on Facebook. Now, more than ever, we need to bring back the strange and stupid practice of clicking a button that notifies another person “you have been poked.” Is poking any less creepy while the coronavirus pandemic is going on? Who knows! Maybe! Probably. You’ll just have to find out. Poke your COVID-19 crush. It’ll be a cute story to tell the grandkids.

Or you could just try one of these 20 #SocialDistancingPickUpLines.

1. Notting Hill Part 2: Let’s Not Get COVID-19

Hollywood Exposed@AndstuffL

“I’m just a girl, standing 6 feet away from a boy. Asking him to maybe move back another foot. Thanks.” #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

View image on Twitter
2,027 people are talking about this

Dibs on being Julia Roberts.

2. Will You Be My Quarantine?

Vixera@carpe_flamma

Are you a pandemic because you’ve got my heart on lockdown
#SocialDistancingPickUpLines

1,334 people are talking about this

Word play, especially during a pandemic, is welcome.

3. Six-feet, Please.

Sentient Bunny Suit🐰@SentientSuit

I saw you from across the bar. Stay there. #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

715 people are talking about this

Don’t you dare move.

4. Remix Of An Old Classic

Not Will Ferrell@itsWillyFerrell

You can’t spell quarantine without “u r a q t” #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

1,113 people are talking about this

Time to brush up on those AIM skills.

5. Funny Because It’s True

Jill in Virusland@Jillinvirusland

“If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I’d be in the highest tax bracket and then I’d be able to get tested for coronavirus.” #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

485 people are talking about this

Raya has left the chat.

6. Team Keep The Alphabet The Same

Joy Eilene@joyeilene

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d keep U and I exactly where they are, with eleven letters of longing between them. #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

229 people are talking about this

AEIOU and sometimes Y don’t you stay away from me.

7. The Greatest Of All Love Stories

🍒Acidic Blonde™️@Acidic_Blonde

Wanna make plans that we have to cancel? #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

210 people are talking about this

Honestly? A good pickup line at any time.

8. Don’t You Dare Hold It Against Me

John C. B.@CatBirder27

#SocialDistancingPickUpLines if I told you that you had a nice body, would you keep it six feet away from me?

124 people are talking about this

Britney Spears, we need a remix.

9. The Only Thing I’ll Be Taking Out For A While

Anthony Jimenez@antyabstract

I’ll have what she’s having!

for delivery

and please leave it at my doorstep thank you so much #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

See Anthony Jimenez’s other Tweets

Extra wet wipes, too, thanks.

10. A Pickup Line To Let Them Know You’re Literate

Jill in Virusland@Jillinvirusland

“Since all the public libraries are closed, I’m checking you out instead.” #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

325 people are talking about this

Reading is sexy.

11. Girl Next Door Vibes

Joy Eilene@joyeilene

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past your house on the other side of the street again? #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

See Joy Eilene’s other Tweets

I literally have nothing better to do than pace around my block.

12. An Amended Chorus To The Adele Song

Jeff Dwoskin

@bigmacher

Hellooooo
I said hello
I’m not sure I can scream any louder
Never mind
#SocialDistancingPickUpLines

65 people are talking about this

I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to… have a conversation over FaceTime?

13. Wink Wink

Vlada R@Vlada_Ruggiero

Hey baby, I got some rubbers we can use… on our hands… they’re gloves. So we don’t have to touch anything #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

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Always use protection.

14. *dances to Jamiroquai*

Levi the Totally Not Extinct Dinosaur@levi_bullen

I saw you liked and retweeted my tweet, so this is getting pretty serious huh? #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

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308 people are talking about this

Don’t be jealous because I’ve been chatting online with babes all day.

15. The Bar Is So, So Low

Zvjezdan Patz@zvjezdanpatz

I wash my hands when there’s no pandemic too #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

364 people are talking about this

You better be washing your hands.

16. It’s Truly Our Only Option

Michael@Sckswithsandals

FaceTime and chill? #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

217 people are talking about this

Could I interest you in a romantic Zoom meeting?

17. We Stan A TP King

Roman Phoenix@RomanPhoenix4

Baby, do you need toilet paper? Because I can be your Prince Charmin. #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

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1,147 people are talking about this

Better than a bouquet of flowers.

18. Say Anything… But At A Reasonable Distance

Ryan Cappo@RyanCappo

I will stand in front of your house with my emergency radio from the 80’s until you are out of quarantine, babe.#SocialDistancingPickUpLines

View image on Twitter
91 people are talking about this

I love you (staying six feet from me). How many more times do I have to say it?

19. I Repeat, The Bar Is So, So Low

Mr. Bagels@fartbagels

I have toilet paper #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

434 people are talking about this

If you have hand sanitizer, I will put a ring on it immediately.

20. Can’t Tell If I’m Terrified Or Turned On

Leanne Sandusky@LeanneSandusky

If covid-19 doesn’t take you out.. can I? #SocialDistancingPickUpLines #stolenfromsomewhere

703 people are talking about this

Honestly, at this point, perhaps a simple heart emoji and virus emoji will woo them.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Women Dating After 50: Is It Worth The Effort?

How often have you heard about women dating after 50? Do you know that over 50s dating can be just as fun and exciting as it is in your twenties?

Are you part of the crowd and wondering if it’s worth the effort? Granted, it does take effort to look your best especially if you are worried about how attractive you are at this age. And, it takes effort to meet good men.

Here’s the thing. If you like being the oddball out at a dinner party, taking yourself for a drive on a beautiful Sunday afternoon and spending Saturday night alone with a quart of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream than it is not worth the effort.

But the reality is most divorced women don’t like the ‘live alone’ lifestyle.

Let’s face it human beings are social animals and most women over fifty would at least like to spend their social time with a male companion and even better would be in a healthy committed relationship.

Lucky for you in today’s world people in their 50’s are now the fastest-growing demographic in the United States, which in and of itself makes it worth your time and energy. Being in a relationship as you head toward retirement years is a very positive way to live your life. Men and women in relationship have fewer health problems than single people.

Depression or the anxiety of dealing with today’s demands are far less if you are in a good relationship.

Having someone that cares about your well-being and happiness as well as you caring about his is a wonderful experience to have each day.

I realize that when you go through a divorce you often think… I’m better off alone. Or you may think I don’t want to take the risk of ending up with some jerk again. However, what you want to remember is today you are a very different woman from who you were when you met your ex 25 or 30 plus years ago.

You’ve paid your dues so to speak and today you are a much wiser woman then you were in your 20’s. A common mistake that women after 50 often make is not to acknowledge who they are today and how far they have come.

Remember the ad “You’ve come a long way baby!”?

Well, that’s true.

I want to encourage you to acknowledge all the life lessons you have learned and all the experiences you have had, that make you the strong and capable woman you are today.

You need to stop thinking about your age, or your horrible divorce or the extra 10 pounds you can’t get rid of. The only things you need to change are your negative thinking around the idea of dating again and turn it into a positive attitude about moving on in your life.

Actually, it is very cool to be a part of the group of women after 50 in today’s world.

In your Grandmothers or even your Mother’s time, this was not considered something a woman could do. In those days a woman was destined to live the rest of her life alone.

To celebrate the fact that you are healthy and free to find your ideal partner to share this stage of your life with.

So, Women dating after 50 is indeed worth the effort.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

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Amelia – Chapter 6 – Square 1682 – Part 1

So the last few Mondays Amelia and I have been getting killed at the salon and finding repose at Square 1682 pounding drinks. Roman’s on point, plying us with whiskey and chardonnay for a $5.50 check. (See: Roman – Rock n’ Roll Bartender)

He’s always tipped handsomely to match his face. It’s the perfect place for me to drink.

Amelia loves it, because it gives us a night to decompress and get free drinks. I’m happy that for the first time I can hang with my staff.

We’re hanging at the bar and doing our thing, but some older woman starts to talk to Amelia.

This blonde is middle aged and puffy, and waiting to meet her friends upstairs at the hotel. They’re clearly not coming down to meet her and she,s about to attach herself to Amelia.

She’s plowing four fingers of Crown Club in a rock glass.

She somehow inserts herself into our conversation like any lonely drunk.

She attacks Amelia with all of her tales of wind sailing and her activities and kids. It’s like an awful Tinder profile come to life.

I feel for my comrade who’s being very nice because she’s awesome.

This Michelin man in a dress is awful. She’s going on about how she hates young women who are in shape. (Amelia) How she hates how men don’t understand her or how we can lose weight faster than women.

It’s an awful insertion, and the poor lonely middle-aged woman doesn’t know she’s invaded my time with my friend and coworker. I sit quietly and think this is the thing that destroyed her marriage

This is why she’s alone, but I still feel sad for her, as annoying as she is stealing my time with Amelia.

Amelia in the meantime has created a story with this woman that she is my daughter and that I’m her dad.

I find this out about half way between the exchange.

I love exotic fiction and role playing, and admire my coworker for coming up with a creative situation.

Eileen is a cute child. But Amelia is an elegant friend. I understand clearly from 40 years of being in corporate life, but I feel so close to Amelia.

Not the older man preying upon the young girl.

Nothing like that.

I work with her everyday. I look forward to seeing her when Monday arrives. Amelia has a certain magic that radiates her from her every day.

We reveal everything that’s going with us with our romantic lives and it’s just easy and automatic.

It always feels safe, and there’s no judgement. I know Amelia and admire who she is and I feel safe in who I am with her.

I never expected this.

I never expected that it would feel this much fun!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

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Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly