15 Things to Know Before Moving in With Your Boyfriend

Are you moving in with your boyfriend? Well, good for you! But here are a few things you need to keep in mind to have that perfect romantic start.

Moving in with your boyfriend can seem more like fun and less like a big life altering decision.

While moving in is fun, it’s also something you need to give a lot of thought.

So do you know if he’s a great guy?

Do you think both of you will have a perfect relationship after you move in?

Will you moving in lead to a proposal and babies soon?

The only way to really know for sure is to try it, right?

Moving in with your boyfriend

No relationship is the same, and when it comes to moving in too, no experience will ever be the same.

But there are a few things that are common while moving in together.

There are right moves. And then, there are a few wrong moves.

If you want to make sure that both of you set off on a perfectly romantic start after moving in together, here are a few things you need to talk about with your boyfriend, and ask yourself the real answers.

5 THINGS TO THINK ABOUT BEFORE MOVING IN

If you haven’t moved in just yet, give these pointers a deep thought. Sometimes, it’s the little things you overlook that can play the biggest part.

#1 Set ground rules. It may seem trivial and unnecessary, but it’ll save both of you from confusions and frustrations later. Setting clear ground rules can help both of you talk about faults and confusions without arguments. Unless you make rules, there’s no way to tell why the frustrations began in the first place.

#2 Be sure of your decision. Are you completely sure you want to move in with your boyfriend? Take time to decide about it and weigh all the options. It’s alright to feel confused as long as you’re excited about moving in together. Don’t let infatuation cloud your judgment though.

#3 Consider your independence. Moving in together is something that is inevitable when you’re in love. It can happen now or it can happen a few years down the lane. You may be in love with your sweetheart, but are you in the right frame of mind and have the intellectual maturity to give up on your own freedom just to share some bedroom space with your lover?

#4 How is your boyfriend really? Is he a great guy? Do you really see yourself walking down the aisle with him years from now? If your boyfriend’s gentle and considerate of your feelings, it’s a safe plunge. But if he’s domineering or wants things his way, ask yourself if he’s really the one for you.

#5 Can both of you take joint decisions? The decisions in the relationship have to be taken jointly no matter what. Both of you should agree on that before moving in. Everything from deciding on monthly expenses to hanging out with friends has to be taken jointly without arguments.

10 THINGS TO THINK ABOUT AFTER MOVING IN

Have you moved in already? It’s not too late. Here are a few more things you should consider to have a perfectly romantic relationship.

#1 Be prepared to see his not-so-nice side. All of us show off our good sides when we’re with someone. But it takes living with someone to see their real side. Your boyfriend may have a few flaws or differences from your behavior. It’s not weird. He’s just being himself.

#2 Split the household chores. Give this a serious thought even if it’s toe curling and awkward to talk about. Create a list of necessary chores and split the chores right down the middle unless one of you is willing to take on more responsibility. But unless there’s a real good reason to unfairly split the chores like one working partner and one homemaker, try to keep it balanced.

#3 Take time to settle in. Dating is very different from moving in together. When you move in, you’re practically living with each other 24/7. Accept the fact that the relationship can feel different at the beginning. He may have pampered you like a princess until now, but now that you’ve both moved in, he may expect you to be more handy and less like a damsel in distress.

#4 Talk about the differences. You and your boyfriend are not two peas in a pod. Both of you are two individuals with different wants and interests. So talk about your differences and lifestyle choices with your boyfriend. When you move in together, both of you have to make a few compromises, be it watching a favorite show on the television or deciding how many times to go out in a week.

#5 Learn to forgive. When you move in together, there are bound to be a few differences and misunderstandings at the beginning. You and your boyfriend have to take the pains to go out of your ways to help the other person feel comfortable in the new environment. And if mistakes do happen, learn to forgive.

#6 Always communicate. Talk about your feelings, it’s really the right thing to do after moving in together. Forgive those little mistakes, but talk about it with your boyfriend and let him know what’s on your mind. Misunderstandings are good, because they help your boyfriend understand you better. But conflicts just aren’t any help in the relationship. Avoid conflicts, but communicate each other’s thoughts.

#7 His friends and yours. Both of you have to avoid bringing friends over to your place often for a couple of weeks or months. Take time to understand each other and live with each other before bringing confusions and new people into the house.

#8 Avoid creating insecurities. You may be dating for a while, but moving in together is a fragile stage in the relationship. Can you stop calling or texting other guys late into the night if it makes your boyfriend uncomfortable? Sometimes, insecurities in a relationship increase when people move in together. It takes a few sacrifices, reassurances and communication to test the waters of moving in together.

#9 Talk about money. Talk about money, individual savings and expenditures. Some things are better left out in the open than brushed under the carpet. Moving in is like a little marriage experiment. It can help both of you experience the reality of marriage before taking the plunge.

#10 Be serious. Living together with your boyfriend is no joke, and it shouldn’t be taken lightly. It’s better to consider it seriously and live seriously than look at it as an easy way to spend more time with each other or have more sex. Making any mistakes here will only force both of you apart. Be serious about the relationship and work together as a couple instead of two individuals.

Moving in with your boyfriend is just like getting married, without the license. Keep these 15 tips in mind and your next step together will be a walk in the clouds. Get these wrong, and one of you could nip a perfect relationship in the bud.

 

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3 Texting Signals That Your Partner’s Playing Games, So Hang Up

So much of getting to know someone new can feel like playing games. Whether it’s how long you wait to text each other back or how many exclamation points you add, texting someone new can feel like one big mystery. Once you define the relationship with your partner, it can be relieving to feel like that weird tension is behind you, but that might not always be the case. If you find that they’re still being unnecessarily weird over text, texting signals your partner’s playing games can be glaringly obvious, and have the potential to make anyone feel insecure about their connection.

Turns out, there’s a reason your partner may still be texting you as if you were still dating, and it has more to do with them than it does with you. “If your partner is playing games, it may be a sign of their personal insecurities,” Claudia Cox, relationship coach and founder of Text Weapon, tells Elite Daily. “It’s not about you. It’s not because you aren’t exciting, attractive, or amazing enough. It’s about them and their insecurities.”

According to Cox, if your partner has trust issues or is a self-professed commitment-phobe, playing games may be their way of not getting too connected to you or dealing with their own relationship fears. Although you may love your boo, you never need to put up with shadiness or miscommunication, IRL or on the phone. And if you feel your partner is being dishonest, you might want to communicate your fears to them directly before jumping to any conclusions.

If you’re thinking your partner might be playing games, Cox breaks down the three texting signs to look out for.

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1. It Feels Like They’re Intentionally Not Replying

If you’re constantly waiting to hear back from your partner, or they haven’t replied to you but you know they’re on their phone, it may be time for a check-in. “Not texting or calling you back in a reasonable amount of time, even when they are obviously not busy, is something to look out for,” Cox says. You and your boo may have your own way of talking to each other, but if you’re starting to feel ignored or uncomfortable, it’s always OK to say so.

You and your partner certainly don’t need to be texting every second of every day, but if you’ve been trying to reach them for a week and when you finally hear back, they pretend they haven’t been leaving you on read, it may be time to chat. Cox shares that them dodging you for a while and then hitting you with a “What’s up?” text like nothing happened can also be a sign they’re playing games. “If you find someone being unnecessarily unresponsive, don’t make excuses for their lack of good communication or politeness,” Cox says. “Don’t bother chasing them or over-analyzing their behavior.”

2. They’re Making You Question Yourself

Texting is tricky because you have no idea how someone is saying whatever it is they’re texting you. Although it’s easy to misinterpret a message, if your partner always makes you feel bad about your texts or they completely twist your words around, it may be time to talk IRL.

“Look out for people who create drama by purposefully misinterpreting your texts,” Cox says. “For example, if you send them a sweet, ‘Good morning!’ text message after not hearing from them for a few days and they respond with something passive-aggressive such as, ‘Sorry, I don’t have time to text you every five minutes, I’ve been really busy.'” There’s nothing more frustrating than having your words be misinterpreted. Although needing to clarify something can just mean your partner is confused about your tone, your partner intentionally making you question your words on a regular basis can be a sign you’re not on the same page.

If you and your partner have different texting preferences, try talking in person about the ways you best communicate. You should never have to feel bad for being yourself or expressing your needs. “Stop yourself from being dragged into their manipulative mind games,” Cox says. “At a certain point, it gets boring.”

3. They’re Constantly Talking About Other People

As iconic comedian and general queen Ali Wong will tell you, one of the best parts of having a partner is getting to gossip with them. But if your boo is constantly talking about their ex or generally trying to make you jealous, Cox says that it may be time to check in. Additionally, if your partner is “always being vague about what they are doing or where the relationship is going,” Cox says that can also signal shady behavior.

Ultimately, when you’re trying to build a real connection with someone, and you’re being met with shadiness and vagueness, the best solution is to talk about it. “Sometimes it hurts, but if someone really wants to talk to you, they will,” says Cox. “And if they don’t, they won’t,” Cox says. “You can’t force communication or make someone like you.” If you find yourself questioning your partner’s texting, try talking to them in person about it. You deserve someone who’s going to be straight up with you all the time, IRL and on the phone.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Kita – Chapter 54 – Appearance – Part 1

“Funny how everybody wants to be dark, but nobody really wants to be black.”

I settle the cash register drawer. I take the profits, wrap them in a receipt and drop them in the safe in the office. Every room’s been swept and mopped. (I know I said I didn’t care but I’m dedicated to any job I always do.) The laundry’s done and the trash has been taken out.

Normally I would gather my stuff and head out.

But today is different.

Because Kita’s in a stand up tanning bed getting tan. I haven’t seen her in months and the last time I saw her was insane.

I should have seen those encounters coming. What did I think? A naive inexperienced young girl leans on me for support and I exploit it. I feel horrible. I’m a dad. I should’ve never let that happen.

Why did I go on all of those little dates with her? Why did I buy her all of those little gifts?

This a young girl who was adopted into a wealthy family. She’s lived a sheltered life. She went to a private school for girls.

She has no clue when it comes to navigating affairs of the heart.

She had a loser boyfriend that grew tired of her and dumped her before her freshman year at university.

He was her first love and she lost her virginity to him. They both didn’t even realize what they had with each other.

Sure, she’s a zero, but I’ve seen pictures of him. The usual thumb. I use the word thumb because my friend Molly used that to once describe a guy that was a nothing. I like that. Hold up your thumb. That’s him. A nothing.

She doesn’t know any better. She’s 22. No clue.

I look back on myself at that age and you think you knew better, and then you realize your whole life was run by desire, emotion, inexperience and privilege.

You have no idea at 22 what life’s really like.

It’s so much more complicated than that, but only if you make it that way. With relationships, and possessions.

Life can be simple if you want it, but most people when they’re young don’t want that.

It’s sad, really.

The shoes with the red soles. The hand bags with the MK, LV, or Coach on them. So sad. So empty. You’re just a walking advertisement of assumed affluence.

You sad fools.

That idea of success, and affluence, when really you just got ripped off by a large corporation that sold you and idea that buying their shitty stuff made you look rich and successful.

That’s the world today.

Our social media that shows the greatest hits, and hides all of the fear, loss and debt most people have.

It’s all a lie.

 

I look at the timer and Kita’s been cooking in the booth for eight minutes. She’ll be out soon. Of course she does the full nine minutes to ensure she’s dark enough.

Funny how everybody wants to be dark, but nobody really wants to be black.

I’m in an odd moment here on a Sunday at the salon.

I thought by now I’d have some sort of business partnership with Achilles. Turns out it was all just careless talk at a tanning salon. After everything we discussed for the last year and a half… NOTHING came out of it.

I’m not bitter. I get it. Achilles is stuck in the past and has the inability to recognize a real opportunity when it’s presented to him. Sadly, because of who he is, he can have the best employee that he’s ever had working for him, and he’ll simply treat them like they’re any other $9 employee he’s ever had.

His ignorance to elegance doesn’t surprise me.

Sadly, I left corporate America and the rat race, but actually fell into a similar situation. My talent squandered by ignorance or sadly… jealousy.

So same thing, but in an entirely different business.

But happily, I adapted and found a better job to make my life extremely better from learning how to do this kind of job. I’m so… grateful.

Not to Achilles. But to myself.

Poor Achilles.

He’s a sad cliche. Greek. 50. Balding and always wears a hat to hide it. Works out and eats crazy supplements all the time. The 30-year-old girlfriend he’s been banging since she was 22. He’s been clear on no kids, so this poor girl never gets that with his misogynist. Never talks about his ex-wife, or his other two sons. owns a $20k Italian motorcycle. also has a red 90’s Z28, with a booming stereo and an exhaust that is extra loud. Don’t get me started on the outdoor jacuzzi….

Here is a man who’s trapped in his no game/no personality teen life, who fears aging.

I thought this was my key out of the corporate rat race and it didn’t happen.

But this story has a happy ending.

I get out in the final reel of this movie.

 

Kita will be out in a minute and now I have to deal with her.

 

Where the fuck is this going?

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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