Survey Says Until Isolating Together, Nearly Half Of People Had No Idea What Their Partner Did For Work

If your partner seems like a different person now that you’ve seen them working from home, you’re not alone.

According to a new survey of 1,500 British adults, 46% say they had no idea what their significant others did for work until watching them while isolating.

The survey, which was commissioned by Virgin Media, noted that before seeing them in action, they only knew their partners “have lots of meetings,” and even more vaguely, “work in an office.”

With some weeks of watching them work from home, the survey says, now just 22% are still in the dark.

The survey also noted that there were pros and cons to working under the same roof: 32% say they enjoy having someone to speak with while they toil away, and 26% say they liked bouncing work-related ideas off their captive audience. Thirty-one percent say they welcomed spending more time with their loved ones.

On the other side of the coin, 25% say they’re annoyed by overhearing work-related calls, forcing them to move to another room. Eighteen percent say they think their partner is too loud when working from home, and 12.5% say they hate that their partner eats all the snacks.

Twenty percent say they’ve had arguments over the right temperature for working from home, while 20% also say they can’t agree on background music.

A quarter of the respondents say that working from home is messing up their work-life balance.

 

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The Happy Couple’s Guide to Social Media Etiquette

Want a perfect blend of stress-free and happy social media experience and a blissful love life? Keep these 15 things all couples must follow in mind.

While more wars have been fought out of love than hate, many more hearts have been broken out of social media than anything else.

“Why did you add him to your friends list?” “Why do you keep liking her posts/retweeting her tweets?” “Why does she keep commenting on your posts about me?” “Why is your office mate always so close to you on your photos?” “Why haven’t you changed your relationship status yet?”

These and more are the issues we face today, when Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and many other social media sites have become such an integral part of our lives. So many small, seemingly insignificant things can make or break our relationships—and even our marriages. A lot—if not all—of our information is readily available on social media, and the concept of personal and couple privacy is being constantly challenged.

So, before your next bae and you become entangled and drowned in the double-edged sword that is social media, consider the following tips to put some order and propriety through all the tweet and status post banalities.

Social media etiquette – 15 things happy couples must always follow

Ladies and gents, here is the happy couple’s guide to social media etiquette. If you want a great relationship with your significant other, make sure you’re keeping these in mind!

#1 On your relationship status. Your relationship status as a couple must be a mutual decision. Considering the power of social media, it will be a problem if one person changes a single status to “in a relationship” with you, while you remain single. However, if your partner doesn’t want to post a relationship status on Facebook, understand his or her stance and be mature about it.

#2 TMI is really TMI. Stop the overdose of information. You may be over-the-moon with your partner being such a wonderful person and you’re bursting to tell the world all about it; however, learn some self-control. Not everyone appreciates seeing all the inner-workings of your relationship, and keep in mind that the most important things in life are better enjoyed in private.

#3 Your profile page is not a pity party. Avoid posting about nasty fights and angry messages aimed at your partner. Whether it is on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, or any other site, you can’t solve anything by airing your dirty laundry. At best, your friends will laugh about it behind your back. And at worst, your partner will hate you more for it.

If you really want to talk to someone, send them a private message, give them a call, or better yet, talk to them face to face.

#4 “Friend” with care. Facebook is a great way to connect with long-lost friends and family, but it’s a whole different thing when you accept friends left and right. Social media is great for sharing things with your close and trusted family and friends, but it’s a no-no to add people to your friends list just because you want more likes and shares. And it’ll always leave your partner wondering if you have something more in mind each time you add someone who could rouse your partner’s jealous streak.

#5 Ask for permission. You and your partner share private and intimate moments, even the goofiest or most mundane ones. So, before you post that funny picture of your disheveled partner in her jammies as she recovers from a cold, or him close to tears after a basketball game he lost, ask for permission. It’s one thing to talk about it with your friends and another to share it with the world.

#6 Public exchanges. PDA has now turned digital—especially when you can send your loved ones icons and emojis. However, it’s good practice to keep your cute and cuddly exchanges out of the public eye. Sure, some people will find it sweet, but your partner is most likely the only one who will truly appreciate it. That is, if he or she isn’t embarrassed by it. Regardless, most people will find it off-putting, so please don’t do it in front of everyone.

#7 Fight in private. So, you don’t like how your partner responded to you when you called him or her out for being too clingy. You post about it on social media and the next thing you know, you and your partner are exchanging angry tweets or comments for everyone to see. Then you get mad at someone for telling you that Facebook isn’t the place to fight—and you call that person names. This is just plain tasteless and rude. Keep your fights off of the internet.

#8 The matter of pictures and selfies. You and your partner should discuss what kind of pictures and selfies you post or share in social media. What kind of photos are within your partner’s comfort level? Should you delete your group pictures with your ex in it? What about the photos with your ex that your common friends tagged you in? Should you guys post titillatingly romantic photos of you kissing or making out? Those are definitely something to think about.

#9 The ex-factor. Should you still be friends with your exes, especially if you have an amicable split in the first place? Although it’s okay to still follow or be social media friends with someone you used to date, you should still consider what your partner feels about this or imagine what you would feel if the tables were turned.

#10 “Friending” your partner’s friends. It’s alright to establish good rapport with your partner’s social circle, but don’t circumvent the middleman when “friending” his/her friends on social media. This means you should first ask for permission from your partner, and be genuine about it instead of plainly scouting for your next squeeze as you build your roster.

#11 Friend updates. So okay, you have changed your privacy settings to your common friends when it comes to your posts about your relationship. After all, you can’t help it: you’re basking in the glow of romance, and often this comes with heated arguments. Guess what—your friends can get tired of your rollercoaster relationships, so keep personal stuff off the internet.

#12 Telling off “the past”… of your partner. How do you tell a past fling or an ex to stop posting on your partner’s wall without sounding too possessive, arrogant, rude, or just plain crazy? How do you tell your partner that their nice responses to the opposite sex on social media can be taken as flirting and that it should be stopped? Too much jealousy in a relationship can be a deal-breaker, and you absolutely don’t want to be that type of person on social media.

#13 Respect boundaries. In our world of over-exposure to all kinds of information, even very personal tidbits, boundaries can easily be crossed—especially when it’s someone you are overly familiar with. Talk to your partner about what he or she is comfortable sharing on social media, and you should also be honest about what your expectations and comfort levels are.

#14 Never compare. What’s worse than taking cheesy photos and publishing cheesy tweets or posts on social media? Comparing your ex with your current one AND posting it on Facebook. Not only is it disrespectful to your ex, whom you at one point shared a special bond with, it is also embarrassing to your current partner, who may think you will do the same to him/her if or when your relationship ends.

#15 Don’t create a fake page. Whether you want to troll your ex or see if your partner is being loyal to you, never create a fake profile. It may seem funny or interesting at first, but it’s a lot of effort for something that won’t really add to your relationship or your personal growth. In fact, it’s juvenile.

It can be a jungle out there, in that good ol’ social media site. There are many predators and even more prey. You can find yourself having a great time, but you can also get hurt. If you’re not careful, you can get lost inside, at the expense of your real, personal relationships. So, before you lose your partner or spouse just because you weren’t thinking before clicking, stick to the etiquette above.

Know when to keep things to yourself and when to post things for everyone to see. You don’t have to give the public a play-by-play of your relationship, just so they can validate your happiness. The best things are better left in private, and even if you can control the people who can see your posts, it’s still not a great idea to shove your life into their faces every single day.

 

Let’s come to terms on this: social media, no matter how engrossing and time-consuming, isn’t everything. Neither is getting dozens of likes and retweets. At the end of the day, it is how you relate with, respect, and love the person you’re with that is important.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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5 Signs Of A Bad Relationship – And How To Know When It’s Time To Break Up

Extreme love isn’t always love.

Love is … strange. While the usual ode to love calls it patient and kind, you have to know that love can hurt and manipulate too. It does it all in the name of itself.

Now, I’m not saying that all relationships eventually end in heartbreak, or that anybody your with is out to manipulate you for their own personal gain — but you are a boss lady and your time is too precious and valuable to spend it wondering if this bad relationship is right for you.

Luckily, there are some sure-fire warning signs that something up that not even cupid himself can explain away convincingly. Take a look at the red flags to watch for below of an unhealthy relationship to help you determine if your relationship is worth fixing, or if it’s time you break up.

1. Your partner is possessive or controlling.

There’s a thin line between being protective and being possessive. It’s nice to feel like someone is looking out for you, especially someone you love. Teasing among friends can be normal, and if that’s the type of relationship you have with your friends, then he could just be trying to fit into that dynamic.

If his comments about your best friend turn from being nice to sly, negative comments for no reason, then that would definitely be a red flag. If he’s harshly judgemental about your friends, especially friends you’ve known most of your life, he may start suggesting that you shouldn’t associate yourself with them.

Keep in mind: your partner should not control who you’re friends with or who you spend your time with!

2. They write off your goals.

What you do outside of your relationships are just as important as the events that happen in your relationships. Keeping your own career goals in mind is super important, especially when you see your relationship as a long-haul one. It’s also super important to respect and push your significant other to reach their goals too.

Forgetting something you told him isn’t an end all be all, after all we all have our own lives we have to worry about, but if all you’ve been able to talk about is an amazing event you’re putting together for your team at work for the past three month, and he keeps asking what it is every time you bring it up, it may be more than faulty memory.

Even if your career goals don’t line up at all, if your significant other doesn’t at least try to remember your big presentation is at the end of the month, he won’t be inclined to remember the other big things that happen in your life and career.

3. Your partner goes to the extreme to prove their love.

I’m not personally very keen on PDA, but words of affirmation and love are something that mean a lot to me. However you like to show or receive love from your significant other, there’s the cute and endearing, and then there’s the overwhelming and kind of suffocating.

It’s fine to say “I can’t imagine my life without you!”. When you start hearing phrases like “If we ever break up I would kill myself” or “There would be no meaning in my life without you in it always”, consider the ramifications of those statements.

These extreme declarations of love, especially near the beginning of a relationship, can lead to signs of obsession and control in your life, and your mental health is worth so much more than that.

4. They guilt-trip you constantly.

This is one of the ones that get to me the most. I’m super involved on my campus through Greek Life, and between classes, service, and family time, there isn’t a lot of extra room to see my significant other every single day.

Relationships rely on constant communication. I don’t mean a play by play of your day, but letting your partner know what’s up so they understand why you might not be able to see each other.

If your partner is guilt tripping you into canceling your girls night because you haven’t seen him all week when you haven’t seen your girlfriends in two to three weeks, he may be jealous and it may be time to talk to him about your priorities when it comes to your friends. If he continues to guilt trip you into canceling every little thing to go see him though, then that’s definitely a red flag to end the relationship.

5. Your partner is the dominant one in all areas of their life.

While having an alpha male personality isn’t a deal breaker, necessarily, it falls on how he shows his alpha male colors to his friends when you’re involved.

He may like knowing that he has a catch like you and uses you to assert dominance over his friends. He can do this by constantly showing affection to you in conversation with his friends, joking about your intimate life, or even attempting a passionate kiss in front of them.

If your partner’s actions of dominance in other parts of their life start to read as uncomfortable for you, speak up! If he’s understanding, see if it behavior continues. If he’s not, or he continues despite telling you he’ll stop, then it’s time to question if he sees you more as a girlfriend or as a pawn.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Eileen – Chapter 12 – Gelato

We had discussed gelato.

Because when you work your ass of at any job, delicious food comes up.

I told her about Gran caffe L’ Aquilla

That’s the amazing place that my friend Church turned me on to that has award winning gelato.

“Do they have Hazelnut?

“I think they do but I’ll check on that.”

I know Gran Caffe, and I’m sure they have that.

I’m just happy to do something for my employee that is clearly suffering from life’s set backs.

I call and it’s all good.

We are getting killed at the salon but plan the night. Monday my favorite bartender Roman is working an event upstairs at my favorite bar, Tuesday I meet with James, my most adored artistic friend, and Wednesday is Church at Marathon for dinner. So Thursday is the night we’ll do the gelato.

I’m super proud of my staff and unaccustomed to this level of performance.

I tell Eileen they have a hazelnut gelato and she’s down.

I just love the idea of hanging with my staff and rewarding them for their hard work with amazing treats. No one ever did that for me, so I’m setting the standard for future bosses!

Achilles should be reimbursing me for this attention to his incredible staff.

We leave the salon and it is starting to rain. Eileen’s glorious raven tresses don’t like the rain so she covers her lovely head with her hood.

We don’t want my hire to be frizzy when she get to her destination.

We walk the the tree blocks and get to Gran Caffe. She’s never been there and we ask if there are  any seats at the bar. They direct us upstairs. We find two seats at the end corner of the bar ad it’s somewhat more quiet.

I can already see that there are two gentlemen to the right of us who are checking my lovely date.

I mean… I get it. Eileen is beautiful and full of life, how could you not look upon her?

I show her the table that I brought Kita to for dinner many months ago. But we all know that ended. Thankfully Eileen doesn’t know. But will after this writing.

We cozy up to the end of the bar and there are three seats. We drop our coats on the last one and take the other two.

I’m happy to be out on a date with Eileen, She’s my employee and I want to hang with her an reward her for her shitty week, and all of the great work she’s done, but love being out with her in general because’s she’s amazing.

Good companies should reward their employees.

Eileen is dying for Hazelnut gelato. Apparently, she hasn’t had it since she was in Germany 10 years ago!

“So, when you were 11.”

“NO. I was 7.”

“Shush…your fake ID.. Eileen.”

It had been a rough night for us both so I did a Manhattan just to take the edge off. I ordered the flight of gelatao. Five spoons full of crazy goodness.

Eileen ordered the two scoops of hazelnut in a dish.

I drank, and we laughed over the “Things that annoy us ” list I have in my phone about the salon.

And then the dessert arrived.

They placed the sweet glass cup of hazelnut gelato in front of lovely Eileen.

I paused.

She dug in with a scoop from her spoon. Eileen placed it in her mouth.

Her expression said it all.

Eileen tilted her sweet head.

Smiled.

Sighed.

“I think I want to cry.”

Eileen had hazelnut gelato in Germany when she was 7, and now she was back in that moment,

I brought that.

It gives me so much joy to please the good people in my life.

I got the flight which is five spoons of magic that taste like five different Beatles songs. They’re that good, that every one makes you feel different.

Eileen went with two scoops of hazelnut because she wanted it so bad. I knew it would be good.

“I haven’t tasted this in ten years… I want to cry.”

My work is done here. i have great staff. If I can reward them with this level of joy, I’m doing my job.

I’m overjoyed that I have such a wonderful staff this season. It’s super rare. Sure they both have their schedule nightmares, but I work around them, because they’re both so good.

What I’ve learned in this business is good staffing. Reliable staffing. I have that now for a moment.

I adore Eileen and Amelia.

I’ve worked in corporate america for 35 years and have been surrounded by weak, lazy losers. I’ts refreshing to be finally surrounded by real TALENT.

Eileen devours her hazelneut gelato as we cover the list of things that annoy us at the salon.

I love the sound of her laughter as we meet on the list.

I sip my $15 cocktail an assess my life.

So great.

I’m, at a premiere Italian restaurant  where I know the owners and the lead bartender. They’ve come to us and made a fuss.

I’m here having the most delicious gelato with my best hire ever.

We finish up and I put her on the train home.

I’m honored that I have this great relationship with my my staff.

On a side note…

Eileen’s boyfriend is feeling jelly jell (jealous) of Eileen going out for ice cream with Grand pop.

He’s pissed, and says that doing that is some couples shit.

I love that he’s jealous.

I secretly love that my pimp arm is strong across America, but that’s what got Robert Johnson killed. (google him)

Seems a fair death.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

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The COVID Quarantine Is Scarily Similar to the First 30 Years of My Life

Here is a piece written by a friend of mine. It’s incredibly revealing, and I never knew this about her. I can understand why. She’s shown incredible courage and patience growing up in that situation. I think we all take for granted how ‘normal’ most of our childhoods were. I’m happy she’s in my life, and honored I had the opportunity to work with her. This is one case where the cypress not only grew in the shadow of the oak, but actually flourished.

https://medium.com/@jackierupp215/the-covid-quarantine-is-scarily-similar-to-the-first-30-years-of-my-life-ca2da29d9906

 

View at Medium.com

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

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View at Medium.com

View at Medium.com