Here’s How To Maintain Intimacy If You’re Quarantining Away From Your Partner

During the coronavirus outbreak, social distancing and quarantine make it easy to feel isolated and lonely. This is especially true if you and your partner have taken up residence separately in your family homes. Experts predict the pandemic will continue for the next few months, so it’s essential to stay connected to your loved ones for the sake of your emotional health and well-being. If you’re down to get creative, it’s totally possible to maintain intimacy if you’re away from your partner for the foreseeable future.

Thankfully, technology makes it possible to connect for FaceTime dates and happy hours — something you’re probably already doing with your partner and friends. Candice Smith, intimacy consultant and founder of Tango couples’ kits, tells Phicklephilly that setting a routine will help you and your SO stay in regular contact. “Set a time for virtual hangout sessions, like a virtual Netflix-and-chill or a call before bed,” she suggests. Video or phone sex is totally an option, too — but when you’re living in your parents’ house, that option might feel a bit tougher to pull off discreetly.

To help you make the most of this challenging period of long-distance dating, Smith outlines her best tips for staying emotionally connected to your partner, even when you’re miles apart.

1. Get Creative With Video Date Nights.

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You’re probably already having regular FaceTime calls, but you don’t have to sit around in your sweatpants every night when you talk to each other. “There are myriads of couples’ fun date night ideas, from drawing each others’ faces while the artist cannot look at the paper, to playing Mad Libs, to karaoke, to learning how to cook a new meal together,” Smith says. “There are literally thousands of different activities online — challenge yourselves to get creative.”

2. Find Ways To Be Playful.

The news can feel super overwhelming right now, and it’s easy to feel anxious. To distract yourself and have fun with your partner, Smith suggests playing games together — board games, online games, even get-to-know-you games. “Not only is it a fun way to connect with your partner, it’s a good escape from focusing on the news of the world around us,” she says. Try to simply enjoy each other’s company and laugh a little, even through a screen.

3. Send Sexy Texts & Photos.

If you’re uncomfortable having sex audibly over FaceTime, use texting to your advantage. Send your partner flirty messages throughout the day, and (if you fully trust them) take some nude photos. “Make time for sexual intimacy together, whether you’re sexting, sending nudes, or hopping on a video call,” Smith says. “Though you may not be physically touching, staying sexually connected will be emotionally fulfilling for you both and keep the flirtatious spark going.”

4. Talk About How You’re Feeling.

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Of course you want to keep the mood light when you spend virtual time together, but another important part of intimacy is being vulnerable about your emotions. Smith recommends implementing a practice called the “Intimacy Huddle” to check in on your relationship health. Set aside 30 minutes or so every week or twice per month. “Talk about your goals,” she says. “Congratulate each other: What are ways you have been a supportive partner? Give constructive feedback: What are ways you could be a better partner?” Tell your SO what you need to feel supported during this time, and be sure to ask what they need, too. “Having these little check-ins will keep you both on the same page as a team,” Smith says.

5. Reminisce.

You can’t be together in person at the moment, but you can think back on all the memories you’ve shared and make plans for more adventures in the future. Smith remembers how this worked for her during a long-distance stint in her relationship. “When we were separated for Valentine’s Day for business, my partner and I spent a full day texting our ‘greatest hits’ back and forth, reminiscing about the time we went to Montreal and ate in a pitch-black restaurant, laughing over inside jokes, and otherwise loving each other up,” she says. “We may have been apart that day, but I felt as if he was there with me.”

6. Send A (Thoroughly Cleaned) Care Package.

Is there a special gift you’d like to surprise your partner with, like flowers or a meaningful book? Send it through the mail — as long as your partner makes sure to thoroughly disinfect it upon arrival to minimize the chance of contamination. Smith also suggests checking out a company that creates care packages. Uncommon Goods and Small Packages are two of her favorites.

This will be a new experience for your relationship, but if you’re committed to making it work, many positives can come of it. Maybe you’ll even learn to communicate in meaningful new ways. It sucks that you can’t be with your partner IRL, but rest assured that your relationship can still bring you comfort in this time of uncertainty. Plus, a little sexting might be just the thing you need to spice things up.

 

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Making Out with Truth or Dare

When was the last time you played the game? And how naughty did you get? Truth or Dare can be fun, but the carnal overtones can also land you in a lot of trouble.

You have to make a plan about what and who you want to make out with before you start and you need to prep yourself with good dares and truths.

Do not play this game without whipped cream. It is the most important accessory you’ll need. You will be amazed when you see how turned on a person can get just by licking whipped cream, preferably off someone else if you can manage it. Dare your friend to go into a room with someone for five minutes and see what happens. If they don’t come out, you have another person to get cozy with.

Things Can Go Wrong

How open is your relationship with your partner? Imagine a scenario where you’re dared to kiss this other guy in the room and he’s someone you had a little crush on. Worse, your boyfriend’s also in the room.

You go up, kiss this guy and it lingers. You can’t help it. He’s kissing you and you open up to him, your lips lock, your tongues touch. It’s the best thing that’s happened to you. You can’t stop. What the heck, you don’t want to.

The guy starts feeling you, you don’t stop him. You love it. Everyone cheers, and when you finish, you’re flushed. You turn to look at your boyfriend and he’s looking out at the door and trying to light a cigarette. Accept it, you’re screwed! It can go wrong for the guys too. You keep sending out dares for everyone to do things that exist only in dark fantasies and now it’s your turn to do the same. You want to and you’ve dreamt about this a zillion times. You assume that your girlfriend will be okay with you making out with another girl just because she just sat on the lap of another man. But that usually never is the case.

The Next Morning

The next morning can be a haze, even if all goes well and you have traded secrets and partners for the night. Eyes are not met and everyone’s in a hurry to go home. Nothing is spoken about the night, and it all suddenly seems strange and totally unnecessary. Guilt sets in. Anger rules. You don’t admit you’re jealous. You may not be, but are you really happy with what you did?

You may say no, but come next weekend and it’ll probably be you who’s saying, “Let’s play Truth or Dare”. You or someone else who wants to make out with someone else!

Keeping it Clean

You can single-handedly keep the game clean if you want. If you’re asked to feel someone’s balls, feel his eyeballs. Just be creative in all your dares. Go easy on the questions and soon all the carnal tension will leave the room and you can have a clean game of Truth or Dare, just like the old days.

Remember that ultimately the game steers along the way you want it to go. If you want to sleep with someone, you can make that happen. If you want an innocent game, you can make that happen too.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Proposed: $2,000 Monthly Stimulus Checks And Canceled Rent And Mortgage Payments For 1 Year

Sounds good to me!

The CARES Act provided a lifeline for taxpayers and small businesses. But as a one-time cash payment, many fear that it didn’t do enough to support taxpayers in one of our country’s greatest times of need. Especially in light of the fact that many people still have not received their stimulus checks.

To address this, members of Congress have made two separate proposals, one that would provide Americans over the age of 16 with a $2,000 monthly check for up to 12 months, and one that would cancel rent and mortgage payments through the duration of the coronavirus emergency.

Let’s take a deeper look:

Proposal #1: $2,000 Monthly Stimulus Check

Representatives Ro Khanna (D-CA) and Tim Ryan (D-OH) introduced the Emergency Money for the People Act. This Act, if passed, would provide additional cash payments to Americans who have been impacted by the COVID-19 pandemic.

The Emergency Money for the People Act would provide a $2,000 monthly payment to every qualifying American over the age of 16 for up to 12 months.

This would include individuals who were left out of the CARES Act, such as some high school and college students and adults with disabilities who were ineligible to receive the stimulus check because they were claimed as a dependent on another tax return.

Monthly Stimulus Payments Would Be Easier to Receive

Not everyone has a bank or a home address. To address this, the Emergency Money for the People Act calls for individuals to get this money through direct deposit, check, pre-paid debit card, or mobile money platforms such as Venmo, Zelle, or PayPal.

$2,000 Monthly Stimulus Check Eligibility:

  • Every American age 16 and older making less than $130,000 annually would receive at least $2,000 per month.
  • Married couples earning less than $260,000 would receive at least $4,000 per month.
  • Qualifying families with children will receive an additional $500 per child – for up to three children.
  • Those who had no earnings, were unemployed, or are currently unemployed would also be eligible for the stimulus even if they didn’t file a tax return.
  • Those who were not eligible in 2019 or 2018 but would be eligible in 2020, could submit at least two consecutive months of paychecks to verify income eligibility.

You can learn more on Rep. Khanna’s website or read the full bill here.

See this article to see the current one-time $1,200 stimulus check rules.

Proposal #2: Cancel Rent & Mortgage Payments Through The Coronavirus Emergency

Representative Ilhan Omar (D-MN) introduced the Rent and Mortgage Cancellation Act. This Act, if approved, would call for a nationwide cancellation of rents and home mortgage payments through the duration of the coronavirus pandemic, or up to one year.

The bill would include:

  • Full rent payment forgiveness for your primary residence
  • Full mortgage payment forgiveness for your primary residence
  • No accumulation of debt for renters or homeowners
  • No negative impact on their credit rating or rental history.
  • It would establish a relief fund for landlords and mortgage holders to cover losses
  • It would create an optional fund to finance the purchase of private rental properties to increase the availability of affordable housing.

The bill would be retroactive to March 13, 2020, and would last for one year, unless extended. Renters and homeowners who made payments during April 2020 would be reimbursed for their payments.

No Double-Dipping Allowed. The bill would only allow taxpayers to receive coverage for their primary residence. It would not cover second homes, vacation homes, or other non-primary residences. Those who have both a mortgage and also rent a home would have to choose the home for which they would want to receive financial relief.

Landlords and Mortgage Companies Would be Covered Through a Fund Managed Through the Department of Housing and Urban Development

The Department of Housing and Urban Development would create a relief fund for lenders and landlords to cover the lost rental and mortgage payments they would have received.

To receive these funds, lenders and landlords would be required to follow federal guidelines for fair lending and renting practices for five years.

You can learn more on Rep. Omar’s website, or read the full proposal here.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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A Divorced Dad’s Beautiful Advice For All Married Men

Gerald Rogers is a father and Psychologist who has been through a rough divorce. A few years ago, he wrote an amazing post that beautifully describes the lessons learned through this tough process, and importantly, valuable advice for all married men.

His words remain timeless.

He says,

“After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I could have had…”

What marriage advice does he wish he could have had? Dads, husbands reading this – this advice is solid. This advice is real. And if you think your relationship could do with a breath of fresh air right now, then this is it.

Image: iStock.

1. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable

Your wife is attracted to and loves your masculinity. But this doesn’t mean you should remain stony-faced even when you are tearing up inside. Rogers’ advice is to “be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.” You can’t go wrong with this formula.

2. Don’t make it all about the cash

Yes, you need money to survive in this mean world. But if you find yourself having more and more arguments with your wife about cash, stop. The advice is to find ways to work with your partner as a team, financially. Both of you have strengths, use these.

3. Grow together

In Rogers’ beautiful words: “The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.”

Image: iStock.Grow together. Image: iStock.

4. No skeletons in the closet

The foundation of a good relationship is trust and if you want to have her trust, then you need to open up to her about everything. It takes courage to open up your deepest heart, even as you are not sure that she will like what she hears or sees. Let her see your shades of light and darkness as these imperfections make you perfect in her eyes.

5. Never stop dating her

You might have two kids and 10 years of marriage behind you. But never, ever take your partner for granted – she deserves to be loved, to be cherished as much as the very first day you met her and knew she was the one.

6. Find ways to fall in love with her daily

“You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other every day. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were dating.”

The truth!

7. Finally, CHOOSE LOVE!

Ultimately, this is your magic charm, this is the only advice you’ll need. As Rogers points out, if this is the guiding principle through which all your choices are governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage.”

Love will always endure.

Image: iStock.Choose love. Image: iStock.

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Cherie Chapter 69 – I Don’t Know What to Do

“I don’t know what to do at this point so I don’t know what what to say to you.

“I know we’re both busy and you’re under a lot of pressure right now. But just know that I love you and I’ll provide you with all of the time and space you need. I’m patient. I love you, Cherie.

“I love you too but I honestly just don’t know what to say anymore.”

A week later…

“If you can take off I’d like you to come to my graduation next Friday at 9:30.

“What’s the date?”

“May 11″

Where is it being held?”

Liacouras Center.”

“And that’s at 9:30am?

“Yes”

Final transmission….

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

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