We all have friends who are confident, and we also have those friends whose confidence teeters the fine line of narcissistic self-absorption. Our friends’ personality traits are transparent today more than ever, thanks to social media, which is both a good and bad thing. Social media gives them an excuse to be one click away from posting about their latest exploits as if the whole world were interested.
Online, these attention seekers would be posting all about their new diet, their new hairstyle, their latest relationship update and even what some random guy said about them while they were on the bus. They do this so relentlessly, and so mercilessly, that your news feed ends up being bombarded by these unnecessary posts!
What you wish you could say to these attention seekers
We know you’re not mean. But there are certain thoughts that pass through your mind whenever you see one of these narcissists upload their latest selfie. Here are some of the things you just wish you could blurt out to them.
#1 To the friend who makes sure you know they workout. This is the friend who wants you to know they are a “gym rat” and exactly how many calories they burned, and how many they consume… Every. Single. Day. This friend runs marathons, promotes CrossFit and lets us know about every juice cleanse they partake in. Not only do they text you this information, but they also post pictures at the gym with #gymselfie on their Facebook and Instagram accounts.
You really want to tell this friend that you get it, you get they like working out. You want to tell them how you work out too, you just don’t post it everyday because you’re normal. You want to ask them how the heck they are able to take so many pictures while working out, and most of all, you want to remind them that they are not the first person in the world to train for a marathon, not even close.
#2 To the friend who’s always taking seductive selfies. It’s hard to believe people used to commission paintings and self-portraits, especially given our crazy selfie-taking world today. To your 24/7 selfie-posting friend, you wish you could remind them that yes, everyone knows what he or she looks like from all angles, with all types of lighting, with every single mirror.
You want to tell her she comes across desperate when she posts photos of her standing in front of her bedroom mirror, half-naked wearing a black silk slip, with captions like “staying in tonight, nothing to wear, #foreveralone.” You want to tell her she’s single because her selfie-taking ways are more obnoxious than they are attractive, and that the type of guy she actually wants to attract isn’t into her self-absorbed ways. You really want to tell her she isn’t a Victoria’s Secret model, she’s not even a model.
#3 To the friend who’s always complaining. Social media is a great way to communicate. We all use social media for different reasons. Some people post music, movie reviews, the latest news, updates on their lives and so on.
But to your friend who uses social media to simply talk negatively about every single thing, you wish you could just tell them to have a tall glass of shut the hell up. It’s bad enough that awful things are happening around the world. There’s no point in dragging down everyone else or asking for a pity party whenever something trivially bad happens to them.
#4 To the friend who’s always making sure everyone knows they are in love. It’s fine if someone’s so in love with their significant other that their social media account looks like a Valentine’s Day ad. But what gets annoying is when it’s all they ever post about, as if their whole personality were erased when their love life took over. Are they expecting congratulations left and right for finding a significant other?
You just wish you could tell her to get a room to keep her profile from looking like a softcore porn site, with all those kissing pictures and those after sex shots. It starts to look desperate when people post too much lovey-dovey stuff, as if it were an attempt to prove to the world that their relationship is perfect when it isn’t.
#5 To the friend who never fails to remind you of their big boobs. This friend has big boobs. She reminds everyone all the time about her big boobs. You want to tell her to stop posting things like “never forget that with a positive attitude and a great pair of tits you can do anything!” and that she sounds trashy.
You want to tell her the photos with captions like “bored” and “late night pic” actually has nothing to do with either of those things because it’s just a photo with her tits hanging out. You want to remind her that if she’s a friend with any of her family members on social media, her boob comments and photos are even more disturbing. You want to tell her less is more. And that Hooters doesn’t hire girls based on their Facebook pics.
#6 To the friend who’s always talking about the sights they are seeing. Travelling is great and all. But there are just some people out there who have practically memorized their plane’s seat plans for the purpose of bragging about it on social media.
We get it, you think you’re a “jetsetter.” There’s really no need to flood everyone’s feed with clichéd pictures of random views and plane window shots. Stuff it all into a folder and post it as an album!
#7 To the friend who’s still reminding you a year later she got married. This friend is still reliving her wedding day from over a year ago. Trust me, I get it, getting married is a huge deal! It’s something that only happens once in your life… Usually.
You want to tell her she looked beautiful on her wedding day, but you also want to remind her you’ve already told her she’s beautiful over 100 times on the thousands of wedding photos she keeps posting. You want to remind her that she’s not a celebrity, even if she looked like one on her wedding day.
#8 To the friend who doesn’t shut up about being pregnant or having kids. After marriage, your friends start having babies, and thanks to social media, they keep us informed 24/7 about the trimester they are in, what their sonogram looks like, what junior’s baby booties look like, and so on. You want to tell them that no one cares about your baby eating spaghetti-O’s, or how similar you find your baby photos and your baby’s current photos, because DUH! It’s your freaking child. I would hope you share a resemblance!
You want to tell them posting things about poopy diapers make you want to vomit, and questions like “Moms—have any of you tried cloth diapers, and if so, what did you think?” is so silly because there is this really great search engine called “Google,” which allows looking things like this up to be really easy. And you want to tell them to try that instead.
Saying these things out loud to your annoying social media friends can result in the loss of your friendship or even an online flame war. Divulge these thoughts at your own risk!
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