21 Virtual Dates You Can Go On in Quarantine

You’ve flirted on the phone and FaceTimed while cooking dinner. What’s next for your quarantine love story?

These are strange times for romance. People are quarantining with matches they just met on Bumble, Zoom happy hours have negated the need to ever wear pants on a date, and the cast of Love Is Blind are probably all thinking, Told ya so. Love in the time of the coronavirus is strange indeed.

But you don’t need a bubble like Jeremy to fall in love even in these weird, weird times—socially distanced love is very much thriving. In an era where we do pretty much everything else virtually, virtual dating has quickly become a new norm. To keep your virtual drinks from getting stale, here are 11 creative virtual dates you can go on while maintaining a safe social distance.

1. Tour the Louvre, in pajamas.

Museums and galleries—always the classiest of date options—are largely closed due to sweeping shelter in place orders. But that doesn’t mean you can’t still get your culture on with your own private virtual tour of the world’s finest curated collections. It’s like your very own version of a Bachelor date.

A few online exhibits and virtual tours to check out: L.A.’s Getty Museum look at Renaissance food & drink, the Louvre’s decadent Gallerie de’Apollon ceilings, the Smithsonian’s Natural History guided walk-through, and the National Women’s History Museum’s NASA exhibit (because nothing says social distancing quite like outer space).

2. Turn your living room into the main stage.

There are hundreds of artists performing worldwide, from big stages and backyards that you can stream from home. (See John Legend’s performance at the Chrissy-officiated Stuffed Animal Wedding.) For a weekend-long Coachella experience, don your flower crowns and neon for the Stay at Home Festival—a music festival on Instagram Live, April 3–5—or track the greats as they go live with Billboard’s continuously updated list. (For local musicians, Venmo a tip, if you can.)

For a more intimate listening experience, send each other an album to listen to during the workday, and discuss it that night. Or use one of NPR’s Tiny Desk Concerts as a nightcap. (Lizzo is our fave, duh.)

3. Invite a guest storyteller.

You’ve been swapping stories for a few phone calls—maybe it’s time to turn to the storytelling experts. The Moth, a globally renowned event series and podcast, features live vignettes of real human experiences—you’ll laugh, tear up, and have some new content for your endless phone calls with your virtual lover. You can “buy tickets” by making a gift via the Moth website, and send your date a calendar invite for showtime.

4. Play dinner-delivery roulette.

This potential partner already knows plenty about you, and you’d invite them over if you could. Instead, exchange addresses for a surprise takeout night that also helps support a local business.

Set a time for delivery, and schedule your favorite local dish to land on their doorstep. Watching them unbox and enjoy your favorite food—and you, theirs—is perfect whether you’re a plate-sharer or not.

5. Take a long walk on a virtual beach.

No one is going anywhere for the time being, but that doesn’t mean you can’t take a virtual trip together (minus the TSA hassle and fights about wake-up times).

Using Google Maps, you can revisit a favorite place you’ve been, your date’s old summer spot, or even give each other a tour of your childhood neighborhoods. You can even feast your eyes on global adventure by snorkeling from a resort in the Great Barrier Reef, visiting China’s terra cotta warriorshiking through Yellowstone, or exploring the International Space Station.

Want to virtually explore the world during the height of our global shutdown? Check out the *New York Times’*s The Great Empty series, capturing international hot spots in this unusual quietude.

6. Get sweaty.

Hundreds of fitness trainers are livestreaming their favorite workout classes to make working up a sweat at home easy-peasy. Schedule a gym date to take a class together and have a little fun getting active.

For a dance-based workout that feels like a party, 305 Fitness brings endorphin-boosting virtual workouts that will make your heart race. Grab your brightest ’80s neon, clear the floor, pop that Zoom video line open, and get twerking together. Their classes are available for livestream twice a day.

7. Get wild.

Break out your favorite day-trip snacks, and load up a wildlife cam or virtual zoo tour. You can watch a baby bald eagle enjoy breakfast, or party with the polar bears at the San Diego Zoo. Looking to get wilder? Roam the woods with wolves in Minnesota or beat your chest among gorillas in the Democratic Republic of Congo.

8. Take a deep breath over meditation and tea.

Couples massages and yoga studios may be off-limits, but that doesn’t mean you can’t plan a relaxing date. Join a guided meditation with MyWellBeing founder Alyssa Petersel on Instagram Live (or check out her team’s library here). For a quick grounding exercise, you can walk through together anytime, Anna Murphy, an executive coach in Chicago, recommends a 5-4-3-2-1 check-in: List five things you see, four that you feel, three that you hear, two that you smell, and one that you taste.

Want to move off the couch? Check out Yoga With Adrienne and see how your date grooves into Downward Dog. Once you’ve hit the zen zone, make a cup of tea and discuss how you’re both feeling.

9. Host trivia night.

Remember Sporcle, the online trivia platform that made a big splash about a decade ago? We’re ready for a comeback. Whether you’re naming candy bars or listing out all the presidents in record time, you’ll learn a lot about your date in the process.

10. Netflix party and chill.

We’ve already binged Tiger King, and so has your date (and if not, they should go do that immediately). Though you can’t quite cuddle, grab your favorite pillows to create cozy tucked-in vibes, pick a movie and set up a Netflix Party. This add-on enables synced video viewing and live chats so you can share each other’s reactions.

11. Get deep.

Maybe you’re a big Brene Brown fan, or you’re just running low on ways to get deeper while distanced. The “36 Questions That Lead to Love”, published in 2015, is the best conversational road map to connect with your virtual date. Find out their dream superpower, gaze into their eyes, and start to envision what your future partnership might look like. Romantic, intellectual, and inspiring, this exercise is a must for all couples from fifth date to 50 years together.

12. Educate yourselves.

If you want to use this time to ‘level up’ your life, MasterClass has your guru for, well, everything. Learn style from Anna Wintour and look impeccable for your first date. Cook with Gordon Ramsay and wow your boo with those new knife skills. Take Billy Collins’ poetry course and write each other some sonnets. And if you love your trial, MasterClass has a buy one, gift one membership special right now.

13. Drop some knowledge.

Consider yourself a life-long learner? Be a teacher, too. Create a private TEDTalk of your own. Choose your topic of expertise, develop a very serious slideshow, and present to each other. Suggested topics include: The Best Pickles, Why Cats Rock, Purity Symbols in Twilight, and TikTok Culture (all of which were featured in my friend’s evening of drunken powerpoints, and had our Zoom room in stitches). You’re an expert in *something* and it’s worth sharing with your date.

14. Tap your inner sommelier.

Just shy of stomping grapes in the tub, you can get close to vineyards from your couch. The Sonoma County Vintners have this handy list of wines you can order direct to home. On date night, you can create your own tasting notes (with coaching from this Wine Folly blog). Not confident in guiding your own tasting skills? Invite Emma Swain, the CEO of St. Supery to walk you through the wine tasting experience she hosted on Zoom. Don’t forget your own virtual Zoom background of a vineyard for the full feel on your date.

15. Have a laugh.

Comedian Marissa Goldman is hosting weekly stand up shows from up and comers across the industry—and you’re invited. This digital experience takes place live between YouTube and a Google Doc, as creative comedians try a pandemic-friendly format with no drink minimum. Your live commentary with your date during the show is a whole new kind of social distance-friendly heckling.

16. B.Y.O. Brunch for a boozy drag show.

Ready to get a little wild? Drag Queens are tearing up the virtual stratosphere with Drag Fest. Make a mimosa, share your screen, cheers to your quarantine date and settle in for an amazing show.

17. Play Pancakes vs. Waffles.

In this imaginative game that exposes core identity values, you have to pick one forever. Start with waffles vs. pancakes. If you choose pancakes, waffles are gone forever. Next, challenge your partner with pancakes vs. french fries…and suddenly, you’ll be arguing about whether you want to keep oral sex or public education in this mental jungle of a future you’re designing together. Someone at Middlebury College takes credit for creating the game and explains it with an example script. We think the origins are more nebulous—and played widely at freshman orientations and company bonding events.

18. Get some space.

Pre-Quarantimes, Ariana Grande said it best: Imma need space with her jam, “NASA.” But have you been to space? Probably not. (And if you have, wow you are so cool!) Check out the National Women’s History Museum’s NASA exhibit or prepare for a virtual launch with the Space Center Houston app to the International Space Station, where you can take this NASA tour.

19. Host a virtual game night.

Board games are going virtual. You can battle it out with Risk, Settlers of Catan, or Battleship. Explore your future with a game of Life, or make a murder mystery with Clue. Virtual versions of your favorite games are popping up everywhere.

20. Test your cosmic compatibility.

Whether you swear by your horoscope or think it’s hooey, embrace the cosmic bizarreness of the times by reading your horoscopes to each other. What definitely describes you and what doesn’t? We’re addicted to Co-Star—enter the time you were born, add each other, and let an astrological algorithm guide your discussion of compatibility.

21. Change the world.

Find the superhero in your significant other. Discover what matters most to each other and explore the local networks of folks rising up together. These local action networks rally around dog parks and solitary confinement and everything in between—what do you two care about together to get involved in? Want to use your power for good against COVID19? Check out this growing database of Mutual Aid Networks and other communities coming together to help our neighbors in crisis while staying safe and socially-distanced.

 

 

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11 Things Couples Should Quit Doing on Social Media

Social media has become the outlet of the generation. With all the things you can share about your relationship, which ones should you quit sharing?

With the variety of ways one can diminish privacy these days, it does not come as a surprise how much information people get to share to the whole wide world. Privacy has little or no meaning at all. Not everything can be shared to everyone and there are things that people should not even be sharing publicly to people in their social networks.

Tacky things couples do on social media.

We all know that one couple that makes us feel like we are already a part of their relationship, because we are exposed to every inch of detail that they are doing. Trivial things such as waking up with their just-got-out-of-the-bed look, or what they have been feeding their dogs or each other. Here are a few of the many things that couples should stop doing on social media.

#1 They never fail to say these words to each other – But instead of saying it, they type it on each other’s social media profiles. Have you ever come across posts that have too many I-love-you’s or I-miss-you’s? It is like they never see each other on a daily basis, and they do not have time to actually utter these words to each other. And if they get tired of typing it, they find pictures or memes with these words written on them – which is kind of worse.

Come on guys, you basically live under the same roof, it does not hurt to actually say these words out loud rather than type it on social media. The whole world already knows how much you love each other. We get it. It’s okay if there’s a special occasion like a birthday, Christmas or a special day, but to see it on a daily basis, it gets really annoying.

#2 It is just their faces on their profiles, and no one else is there with them. Have you ever come across a couple who never posts anything else other than their couple selfies? We get pictures of their faces, only their faces, even though they say they are having a blast at the beach, or pictures of just their faces even though they say there are experiencing a great time in Paris. Or say they are having dinner in a fancy restaurant but yet again, we never see any of the food nor the restaurant, just their faces squeezed in that 3-by-3 inch square.

It is not that the couples should stop taking photos of their faces, but perhaps they should consider that their entire social network is now getting sick of looking at their mugs.

#3 Every single detail of their day, no matter how mundane. They had sushi and maki for dinner. They forgot to buy pillows. They did not know that the girl has her period and needed to rush to the grocery store. They failed to have sexual intimacy last night, which is why the guy is in a rather bad mood. They make their social media profiles their diaries and never fail to update it – whatever they do and wherever they go.

We can practically stalk them. And worse, they just post too much private information that makes us, their followers, want to cringe. The line must be drawn with what kind of information couples share online.

#4 This account is owned by MrandMrsHopelesslyinLove. Joint social media accounts, there is no explanation as to why these couples only have one social media account. You will never know who is posting what, who will see your message or who is posting the comments.

We get that the two of you are so open to each other that you do not mind receiving messages that are not intended for you but for your partner, and well, you read it anyway. But individuality and privacy should be respected, even though you are already married. Each of you is still allowed to have your own lives.

#5 The other half of the couple oddly reacts to a tagged photo of the other with a member of the opposite sex. We’ve all come across this couple of times. The male gets tagged with a photo of him and another female that isn’t the girlfriend or wife or vice versa. And guess who reacts or comments first with a sarcastic remark? The girlfriend or wife, of course! And after ten minutes, we would see that it has become a full online battle and both of them airing each other’s dirty laundry.

The world is bad enough with impending wars and deaths, so please take your petty fights to the bedroom where none of us can be a witness to it.

#6 What happens when the fighting is over? They make up, of course! And where do they make up? Online, in the same thread. With a lot of sorrys and I-love-you’s and empty promises of not fighting again. Can we just block them now?

#7 Social media seems to be the first choice when ranting these days. Where have your friends gone? What happened to those people that you can call or talk to when you have had a fight with your significant other? Did you forget them now?

Oftentimes, we see half of the couple posting rants about how their significant other has made yet another huge mistake, and they don’t think they can forgive their partner this time. We are now very much aware of all the negative things his or her partner has done. Wow. Isn’t this sounding more and more like a soap opera?

#8 Social media seems to still be the first choice when raving these days. But on the brighter side of things, we also see all the positive side the other half has done! As much as this person rants about the negative things, the person also raves about the positive things. Your appreciation of what your partner has done for you will go a longer way, if you directed this to them, not to your online social media profile.

#9 Post intercourse selfies. Need there be any explanation for this?

#10 As you scroll down your newsfeed, you see that one male has written a lot of sweet words on one female’s profile or vice versa. You will first think that it is so sweet of this male to post his proposal to this female on her social profile. But wait. What? Shouldn’t that be done in person? But then, minutes later, the female responds with an all caps YES! Talk about tacky to the n-th degree!

#11 As you scroll down your newsfeed again, you see that one individual has written really rude words to their partner, revealing at the end that they want a break-up. Not only is this embarrassing to both parties involved, but again, shouldn’t this be done in person? The whole world will now know why they have broken up, and if that isn’t enough, everyone’s aware of the nasty reasons for the break up.

Relationship milestones are very important and each couple should be grateful for the presence of their partners in their lives. However, this appreciation should be personal, should not be done online with the whole world as their audience, and should be just between the two of them.

It’s easy to fall trap to the so-called online diary that is social media. But when you really think about it, wouldn’t messages delivered in person be so much sweeter than just receiving a notification on Facebook or Twitter or Instagram?

 

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What Happens To Your Body When You Are Unemployed

Losing a job is one of the most stressful events you can experience in your career, especially if the loss is sudden. Losing a job during the coronavirus pandemic can really compound that stress. When you get laid off or fired, you not only lose a steady source of income, but you can also lose purpose, a routine and a community of co-workers. It can even impact your physical health.

“Oftentimes, people think, ‘How can they be feeling so sad, so depressed, so grief-stricken about a job,’ but we’re losing a lot of pieces that we’re not recognizing… that do constitute pretty significant loss,” said Lisa Orbé-Austin, a licensed psychologist who focuses on helping professionals through career transitions. “People feel a sense of heartbreak, especially if the loss was sudden.”

Your mind and body can be sending you signals that job loss is impacting you more than you consciously know.

You can’t sleep or you sleep too much.

Challenges with sleep are one sign that the job loss is impacting your health.

You might have trouble falling asleep, have trouble staying asleep, or find yourself getting up earlier than planned, said Kristin Bianchi, a Maryland-based licensed psychologist at the Center for Anxiety and Behavior Change.

One or two nights of sleeplessness are OK, but if it’s a pattern, it’s concerning. “Those start to become worrisome, if that’s happening over a long period of time,” Bianchi said.

The stress you felt in your job may stay with you even after you lose it. Patricia Haynes, an associate professor in the University of Arizona’s Department of Health Promotion Sciences, conducted research on how workplace stressors may leave a lasting impact on long-term health outcomes after unemployment. In one study, she and her fellow researchers found that individuals experiencing hindrance-related stressors like job insecurity and organizational politics were more likely to report insomnia after they lost their job.

“The more barriers, like political barriers or barriers that have to do with promotions, the things that keep people from doing well in their job ― we found that those types of stressors are associated with increased likelihood of continued insomnia even after the job is gone,” Haynes told HuffPost.

Your mental health gets worse.

The longer you go without a job, the more likely you are to report having depression, according to a Gallup survey of 356,000 Americans. One in five Americans unemployed for about a year or more were more likely to report that they have been or are undergoing treatment for depression.

Bianchi said two hallmark features of depression for unemployed professionals are when they lose interest in activities they used to enjoy and when they start to experience a low mood more often than not over a two-week period. “It might look like sadness, feeling down,” Bianchi said. “It can also manifest as anger or irritability.”

Your personality changes as you become less agreeable.

A 2015 study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology found that unemployment can cause basic personality changes.

Of the 6,769 German adults in the study, who spent four years completing personality tests, those who lost their jobs during the experiment experienced significant changes in their levels of agreeableness compared to the adults who remained employed. Women became less agreeable with each year of unemployment. Meanwhile, men reported being more agreeable during the first two years of unemployment, but got increasingly less agreeable after that.

The researchers believe these changes can be due to how your outlook can change once you become long-term unemployed. “In early unemployment stages, there may be incentives for individuals to behave agreeably in an effort to secure another job or placate those around them, but in later years when the situation becomes endemic, such incentives may weaken,” the authors of the study wrote.

Your body aches, and you get migraines and an upset stomach.

When your body is stressed, your muscles tense up to guard you from a perceived threat. It’s part of the body’s fight-or-flight response. Over time, being on high alert all the time can result in chronic stress-related problems like migraines. The American Psychological Association notes that pain in the low back and upper extremities has been linked to job-related stress.

Our brain is in constant communication with our gut, and job loss stress can also lead to gut discomfort. “With anxiety, it’s not uncommon to see [gastrointestinal] symptoms emerge. People may report frequent stomach aches, or other GI distress,” Bianchi said. “We tend to see headaches and muscle aches when we are anxious.”

Your appetite significantly changes.

Stress may cause an increase or decrease in an appetite, according to the American Psychological Association. Those appetite changes “may or may not be accompanied by weight loss or weight gain,” Bianchi said. “Changes that are marked from what people are used to.”

When you feel like you can’t count on much — like ‘I don’t have a paycheck coming in, I don’t have a job’ — having a routine creates something that you can count on. Psychologist Lisa Orbé-Austin

What You Can Do To Support Yourself During Unemployment

Make a routine. When you lack the built-in structure of a work day, schedule a new routine that can get you out of your pajamas and is something you look forward to, Orbé-Austin said. That can include physical exercise, lunch dates and breaks from your job search. Because of social distancing, meeting up with your friends may not be possible right now, but you can schedule online social dates like virtual game nights.

“When you feel like you can’t count on much ― like ‘I don’t have a paycheck coming in, I don’t have a job’ ― having a routine creates something that you can count on,” Orbé-Austin said.

Getting up at the same time every morning, making sure you have consistent meals and developing your own daily routine can be beneficial for people who have lost their jobs, Haynes said.

Try mastering an activity. When you lose your job and your job search stalls, you can develop learned helplessness where you feel like no matter what you do, nothing changes, Bianchi said. To counteract that loss of agency, try scheduling activities that bring you a sense of pleasure, mastery or self-efficacy, she said.

“In part, it helps [your] mood. But it also instills in us a sense of one’s capability and capacity to continue living even if we are out of work at the moment,” Bianchi said. “It helps us to be more resilient.”

Watch out for all-or-nothing thinking. Bianchi said that when people are down and demoralized, they can overlook the positive. “We’ll see people tending to dismiss the positives… and over-focus on negative experiences and disappointments that they’ve had,” she said.

One concrete way to push back against these distorted thoughts that can lead to feelings of helplessness is to keep a credit list where you track any actions you’ve taken that you are proud of, Bianchi said. “Those can be actions [you’ve] chosen, or you can also include in that positive feedback,” Bianchi said, like compliments or the fact that someone called to check in on you, which is a reflection of a positive relationship you’ve created.

By reminding yourself of all the good in your life and all the actions you are taking, these reminders can “strengthen our sense of self and maintain it in the absence of what tends to be a major source of identity,” Bianchi said.

 

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Life Before Quarantine – Part 1

During quarantine I’ve been fairly productive. I get my energy from people but I really enjoy my alone time. My daughter agrees. We’re both perfectly happy being on our own. I was looking through some photos the other day and I got some great memories of when we were all allowed to come out and play. I thought I’d share some of them with you. I’ll run this series every week until I run out of photos! If you see yourself, hit me up!

I’m very fortunate to have met you all and enjoyed the times we had together. Thank you!

Enjoy!

 

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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6 Signs Someone Is In Love With You, Based On Body Language Alone

The early stages of a romantic relationship holds tons of excitement and potential energy; you’re learning new things about your new partner, settling into new routines, and figuring out your feelings. At a certain point, though, you’ll probably be ready to say those three magic words, but you’re nervous about uttering them first for fear that you won’t hear them in return, or—worse—that your partner won’t share your sentiment. Because picking up on signs someone is in love with you isn’t a science or easy to do with any semblance of confidence, the act of saying it can feel like a game of chicken—but that doesn’t have to be the case.

Relationship coach and founder of Spark Matchmaking Michelle Fraley says learning to read your partner’s body language can be key for deciphering whether they’ve fallen for you. “Nonverbals are a big part of healthy and loving communication,” she says. Below are six body-language signs someone is in love with you, even if they have yet to say it.

Look out for these 6 body language signs someone is in love with you, regardless of whether they’ve said the words.

1. Proximity

If someone is in love, they’ll close the gap between you as often as they can. According to Fraley, you’ll want to consider the following four questions:

  • Do they make an effort to get closer to me?
  • Do they inch closer to me while seated?
  • Do they place objects, like their drink or phone, in your physical space?
  • Do they lean in closer when talking, or put their body (arms and legs) near your physical body?

If you answered yes to any or several of the above questions, it’s clear this person has a desire to be physically close. To be a love signal, this proximity should feel comfortable and easy, not necessarily charged, says clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly, PhD. “When someone is falling in love, they’ll often lean in toward their partner in a way that feels different from being sexually interested,” she says. “It’s a leaning-in that says, ‘I enjoy you. I want to be close to you.’”

2. Touch

Think about it: You rarely touch people you don’t have feelings of affection for—whether it’s a kiss from a partner, a hug from your mom or a pat on the back from your best friend. Watch for the potentially unnecessary use of touch, because it’s one of the signs someone is in love with you. “Do they make an effort to touch you?” asks Fraley. “Do they brush up against you, or touch your arm or hand when talking? If your partner is craving your physical touch, that is another indication they are in love.”

3. Attention

Ever feel unsure as to whether your date is actually paying attention to your words? Attentiveness is a huge sign someone is falling in love; they’re enthralled, says Fraley. “Love often brings with it tunnel vision,” she says. So if it seems your partner is able to focus exclusively on you and not get overly distracted by other stimuli, it’s a good sign.

And, bonus, Fraley adds that full attention is not only a sign of love, but of respect, too.

4. Eye contact

Eye contact is so intense that researchers have even used it to trigger feelings of love. So, if your partner is looking deeply and comfortably into your eyes, it communicates a lot about their desire. “Eye contact is an intimate and vulnerable act, so intense eye contact can be very meaningful,” says Fraley. “Deep eye contact, or holding your gaze for at least four seconds, may indicate feelings of love.”

5. Openness

You may catch this gesture (or lack thereof) while standing, sitting, or after a tense discussion about your relationship. “Crossed arms often indicate that someone is closed off to feeling loved or giving love,” says Dr. Manly. “When someone is ready to love and be loved, they’ll be open in their heart space rather than close off.” You’ll see a much more relaxed stance as one of the signs someone is in love with you.

6. Protective gestures

Dr. Manly says it’s common for people in love to feel highly protective of the person they care for. This may take the form of gestures or of lending extra help. “When we love someone, we care about their safety,” she says. “A person who is falling in love will often take great care to protect [the person they love], whether it’s by opening doors, walking street side, or putting an arm out in front at a crosswalk.” If they seem to be extending an extra hand without thinking twice, they might be falling in love. And if a person’s actions make you feel loved and cared for, you’re likely in clear to take the leap and say those three words without fear of being left hanging.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Tales of Rock – Sable Starr

More Evil Rock n Roll Debauchery! What a disgusting tale…

Sable Starr
Sable starr.jpg

Sable Starr, taken in 1973 at Rodney Bingenheimer’s English Disco
Born Sabel Hay Shields
August 15, 1957
Palos VerdesLos AngelesCalifornia, U.S.
Died April 18, 2009 (aged 51)
RenoWashoe County, Nevada, U.S.
Nationality American
Occupation Rock and rollgroupie
Children 2

Sable Starr (nee Sabel Hay Shields; August 15, 1957 – April 18, 2009[1]) was a noted American groupie, often described as the “queen of the groupie scene” in Los Angeles during the early 1970s. She admitted during an interview published in the June 1973 edition of Star Magazine that she was closely acquainted with Iggy PopMick JaggerRod StewartAlice CooperDavid Bowie, and Marc Bolan.[2]

Life as a groupie

Starr first attended concerts around Los Angeles with older friends who had dropped out of school in late 1968. She lost her virginity at age 12 with Spirit guitarist Randy California after a gig at Topanga, California.[3] She had a younger sister, Corel Shields (born 1959), who was involved with Iggy Pop at age 11.[4] Pop later immortalized his involvement with Starr herself in the 1996 song “Look Away.”

I slept with Sable when she was 13,

Her parents were too rich to do anything,
She rocked her way around L.A.,

‘Til a New York Doll carried her away…

Starr became one of the first “baby groupies” who in the early 1970s frequented the Rainbow Bar and Grill, the Whiskey A Go Go, and Rodney Bingenheimer’s English Disco; these were trendy nightclubs on West Hollywood’s Sunset Strip. The girls were named as such because of their young age. She got started after a friend invited her to the Whiskey A Go Go at the age of 14.[5] Starr later described herself at that period as having been “nuts to begin with. I always liked getting into trouble”.[5] She had considered herself unattractive, so she had a nose job when she was 15.[5] During the time Starr was a groupie, she continued to live at home with her family and attended Palos Verdes High School to placate her parents.[6][7]

BAND AIDES: SABLE STARR AND LORI MATTIX!

In 1973 she gave a candid interview for the short-lived Los Angeles-based Star Magazine, and boasted to the journalist that she considered herself to be “the best” of all the local groupies.[6] She also claimed that she was closely acquainted with some of rock music’s leading musicians such as Jeff BeckDavid BowieMick JaggerRod StewartMarc Bolan, and Alice Cooper, adding that her favorite rock star acquaintance was Led Zeppelin‘s lead singer, Robert Plant.[2] When asked how she attracted the attention of the musicians, she maintained it was because of the outrageous glam rock clothing she habitually wore.[8] She was often photographed alongside well-known rock musicians; these photos appeared in American rock magazines such as Creem and Rock Scene.

Sable Starr has Left the Scene 1958-2009: LAist

Starr admitted to having gotten into fights with rival groupies and she allegedly had a confrontation with Bianca Jagger, who at the time was married to Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger. According to Starr, she knocked on Bianca’s hotel room and when the latter opened the door she was told “in a few four-letter words to ‘get lost'”.[2] Her closest friends in Los Angeles were fellow groupies Shray Mecham and “Queenie”.[9] Model Bebe Buell described Starr as having been one of the two top Los Angeles groupies of the era, adding that “every rock star who came to Los Angeles wanted to meet her”.[5]

The extraordinary life of Sable "Queen of Groupies" Starr

She ran away from home when she was 16 after meeting Johnny Thunders, guitarist in the glam rock band the New York Dolls.[10] She went to live with him in New York City. Their relationship didn’t last, mainly due to his violent jealousy and drug addiction.[11] He had wanted to marry her after she became pregnant with his child, but she refused and instead had an abortion.[12] Tired of the physical abuse Thunders often inflicted upon her, and unable to adjust to the New York lifestyle, Starr moved back to Los Angeles. She claimed that “He [Thunders] tried to destroy my personality. After I was with him, I just wasn’t Sable Starr anymore. He really destroyed the Sable Starr thing”.[12] She made frequent visits to New York where she had an affair with Richard Hell, befriended Nancy Spungen, and participated in the local burgeoning punk rock scene. By the early 1980s, she was no longer part of the groupie milieu.[11]

BAND AIDES: SABLE STARR AND LORI MATTIX!

Later years and death

She later moved to Reno, Nevada. She became a table game dealer at Carson Valley Inn in Minden until shortly before her death.

Starr died at her home in Nevada on April 18, 2009 of brain cancer at the age of 51.

 

 

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