37 Hilarious COVID-19 Pick-Up Lines

I love these!

Keen to get close to a new special someone? Think again big dog. Social isolation has us indoors and out of the social scene, making it the perfect time to step up your Tinder game. If you want to break the ice, the key has always been a great pick-up line, and the fundamental formula for a show-stopping opener? Timeliness.

Having your finger on the pulse is a sure-fire way to get your fingers on something far lucrative; those digits (get your mind out of the gutter). If you can put a humorous spin on the news of the day, you come across well-versed in the art of seduction, and there’s nothing more timely than COVID-19. Now, we’re not advocating bad taste, in fact, most of these coronavirus pick-up lines should never be used by anyone, at any time, but they might be worth a good chuckle. Heaven knows we could use one right now.

Here’s a list of 37 funny Coronavirus pick-up lines.

  1. Is that pneumonia in my lungs or has your smile just left me breathless?
  2. You Smell So Good, Is That Purell You’re Wearing?
  3. I’m just a boy, standing 6 feet away from a girl. Asking you to maybe move back another foot. Thanks.
  4. Are you an N95 mask? Cause I want you on my face.
  5. Cough here often?
  6. You can’t spell virus without U and I
  7. I saw you from across the bar. Stay there.
  8. “I really can’t stay” / “Baby it’s COVID-19 outside”
  9. If COVID-19 doesn’t take you out, can I?
  10. Do you need toilet paper because I will be your Prince Charmin.
  11. Hey, I wash my hands when there’s no pandemic too ;).
  12. Hey Babe! Can I ship you a drink?
  13. Even during the corona pandemic, the most contagious thing is still your smile.
  14. Is it hot in here or is it just our fevers and shortness of breath?
  15. One-ply? Two-ply? Neither. The only thing I’m looking for is your re-ply
  16. Is that hand sanitizer in your pocket, or are you just happy to be within 6 feet of me?
  17. What if I told you I have **whispers** “60 rolls of ultra-soft toilet paper”
  18. Since all the public libraries are closed, I’m checking you out instead.
  19. Are you COVID-19 because if I had you near me I wouldn’t leave the house for two weeks straight
  20. That mask brings out the beauty in your eyes.
  21. Wanna get closer than 6 feet?
  22. Girl, are you down with the sickness? Because oh WAH AH AH AH
  23. “Come on over, I’ll pay your fine if you get stopped”
  24. Can’t spell quarantine without u r a q t 😉
  25. “We’re quarantined in the same house, your options are kind of limited.”
  26. Hypothetically speaking, if you were a restaurant who shut down dining-in, would you let me pick you up at the curb? See you tonight?
  27. The government says we need to stay 6 feet away but I want to give you 6 inches. (please don’t use this one)
  28. Can I take you with me and work you from home?
  29. I got a stimulus package that guaranteed to improve your economy.
  30. Our love is like COVID-19. No one saw it coming and we move fast.
  31. Hey baby, you come within 6 feet of here often?
  32. Stay home if you sicc. Come over if you thicc.
  33. Wanna play Coronavirus and get spread on hard surfaces?
  34. Are you looking for a naughty boy? Because I only washed my hands for 19 seconds
  35. Hey baby, are you a latex glove, because I want to put my hand inside you. (Ew. Gross)
  36. Are you coming down with COVID-19? Because I want to flatten your curves.
  37. I like my virus like I like my women; easy to spread. (Again. This one is horrible. Never use it.)

Once again, we wouldn’t recommend dropping these on your super-like, but who knows? Maybe you’ll find a bombshell with a dark sense of humor. Or maybe you’ll get unmatched. Our money’s on the latter.


Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

Philadelphia, PA, USA

Author: phicklephilly

Copyright © 2016 by Phicklephilly All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. All stories and characters are based on real people and events. The names and images have been changed to protect their privacy. Comment Rules: Remember what Fonzie was like? Cool. That’s how we’re gonna be — cool. Critical is fine, but if you’re rude, we’ll delete your stuff. Please do not put your URL in the comment text and please use your PERSONAL name or initials and not your business name, as the latter comes off like spam. Have fun and thanks for adding to the conversation!”

What are your thoughts on this subject?

%d bloggers like this: