8 Warning Signs A Partner Doesn’t Respect You

Amelia recently sent me a link to a Tumblr that will absolutely gut you. It’s called When Women Refuse and it collects news article about women who became victims of violence after they tried to leave a male partner or rejected sexual advances. We know that violence is fundamentally about control and therefore the most dangerous time during an abusive relationship is when a person tries to leave. All too often, children and other bystanders are injured or killed, too. The statistics about abusive relationships show that they are frighteningly common. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, one in four women and one in seven men over age 18 will be the victims of severe physical violence during their lifetime. Statistics also show that half of both men and women will experience “psychological aggression” by a partner during their lifetime. Stereotypes about what an “abused woman” is supposed to look like don’t do us any good because victims are all around us. They are our neighbors, our cousins, our sisters, our coworkers, our friends. Abusive relationships thrive in part because over time, the pattern of the abuse becomes normal. The abuse starts with smaller areas of control and then escalates until it becomes reality, which the person on the inside may not even see. But even if we have not been in a textbook abusive relationship per se, I’m sure many of us have had moments with partner or a friend where he or she did something that felt wrong.

In the spirit of #YesAllWomen — which is drawing attention to the physical and sexual violence all women experience —  I want to share some warning signs that a partner or other person does not respect you, your boundaries, or your personal space. These are all anonymous, real world examples from me, my friends and co-workers.

1. He shows up at your work, class, or home unannounced and uninvited. He causes a scene until you acknowledge him.

“I had just broken up with my ex-boyfriend when he began consistently showing up at my place unannounced, screaming at me through my door until I showed my face.”

“[One guy] memorized my class schedule without telling me and would often meet me at my classroom to walk me to my next one, even when it meant he’d be late to his own. It felt stifling, but because he was ‘nice,’ I didn’t know how to tell him to stop.”

2. She refuses to leave your home when you ask her to go. Or he uses doors, locks, or his own physical strength to keep you from leaving the home.

“My boyfriend and I were in a fight in my apartment—a crazy screaming match. I told him he needed to leave immediately and he wouldn’t. I had to pick up the phone and dial 911 before he left.”

3. He tries to force sex though sexual assault, rape or coercion.

“In college, I had a crush on a South African tennis player who lived in my dorm. My aunt sent me homemade cookies and I took them up to his room to offer him one. He locked me in the room and said he wouldn’t let me leave until I gave him a blow job. I didn’t and he sat at his desk, eating all the cookies. I was crying, and finally his roommate came back and I grabbed whatever was left of my cookies and ran out. I didn’t report him, but thankfully other women did for similar instances, and he was asked to leave school. He moved back to South Africa before completing his sophomore year.”

“[There’s this thing where] you say you don’t want to do something sexual  — for example, anal — and he does it anyway and claims it was an accident. But it totally, totally wasn’t. This happened to a friend of mine, ugh.”

4. She puts you down. She tells you that you’re lucky to be with her.

“My ex-girlfriend was constantly making little comments about my weight vis a vis the food I ate and how often I worked out. She would make remarks like “Oh, you’re going to eat that? I thought you were trying to lose weight.” She also complained when I cut and colored my hair (I liked my hair!) and bought me new clothes that she encouraged me to wear. It was almost like she wanted to dress me up herself, as if how I looked reflected on her. The kicker was when she told me that I was lucky to be with her. The implication was that no one else would want me.”

5. He tries to control your friendships (i.e. he isolates you from other people).

“I was not allowed to have my own male friends unless he was also friends with them, and under no circumstance was I to hang out with any of them by myself without him.”

“A guy that I was friends with in high school invited us both to a party at his place. My ex freaked out because he thought this guy had a crush on me. He’d never even met the guy before but he just assumed he must want to hang out because he wanted me. He basically wouldn’t let us go to the party because he thought it would signal to the guy that I was ‘interested.’ It was so ridiculous.”

6. She refuses to let you have privacy, such as reading your texts, emails and IMs.

“[She was] demanding to know my Facebook/phone passwords.”

7. He threatens to hurt himself if you don’t do what he wants or otherwise manipulates you into believing his behavior is your fault.

“He threatened to kill himself by driving off a bridge (and calling me from the car to make me believe him) if I broke up with him.”

8. She ignores “no.”

“I think there can be really little signs in the way a partner treats your body and responds to the word “no.” For example, continuing to tickle you even when you’re begging her to stop and your tone has clearly turned serious instead of fun and flirty; making comments about what you’re wearing/should wear that make you feel weird or uncomfortable; pushing you REALLY hard to do things that scare you instead of respecting your boundaries.”

If you think you are in an abusive relationship, you can get more information from the National Domestic Violence HotlineSafe Horizon, or Love Is Respect.

 

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Should You Text Your Crush During The Coronavirus Outbreak? Here’s The Truth

So, you’ve found a safe place to practice social distancing. You’ve stocked up on frozen pizzas and called your grandpa to explain how FaceTime works. And then, well… you’ve mostly just been watching Hannah Brown and Tyler Cameron’s TikToks and observing your nail polish flake off from washing your hands a million times a day, right? It gets lonely after awhile, and you might be drawn to finding connection in ways you wouldn’t normally: by video-chatting friends you aren’t that close with, watching hours of random influencers’ Instagram Lives, and even texting your crush.

Talking to someone you like might seem silly at first, because it’s not like you should meet up right now. Per the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the virus can spread between people who are in close contact with each other. It’s important to “flatten the curve” by isolating and practicing social distancing and good hygiene in order to ensure that not everyone gets sick with the coronavirus at once. If that were to happen, the healthcare system would be dangerously overwhelmed.

As people are physically farther apart than ever before, it’s important to find virtual ways to come together. That’s exactly why you should shoot your shot: In the absence of normal socializing, a tiny scrap of affection can make a world of difference.

Feel closer to those who are far away by hosting a game night on Zoom.
Shutterstock

If I can get corny for a sec, texting your crush is good for you. In 1988, epidemiologists at the University of Michigan published a landmark study in the journal Science that found social connections improve your physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing. People who feel connected to others have a stronger immune system and lower levels of depression and anxiety, among a whole host of other benefits. You can absolutely get those perks by cooking with your roommate or calling Mom, but there’s no need to stop there.

Aside from Grey’s Anatomy donating medical supplies to real doctors in need and this video of penguins exploring an aquarium on a “field trip,” there’s a shortage of good news right now. So, take joy where you can get it. Text your crush. Don’t have one? Find a new crush! According to the many push notifications I’ve received this week, activity is up on both Tinder and Bumble.

There’s never been an easier icebreaker in the world. “Hey, how are you holding up?” is no longer boring. It’s kind. Ask them about their family’s health, about their best friend who bags groceries at the supermarket, about how they’re working or studying from home. During these stressful, uncertain times, a thoughtful message goes a long way.

Once you’ve sparked a conversation, swap Netflix recs or recipe ideas. Ask creative questions. Send the link to that penguin video. Maybe things get steamy. Whatever! Almost anything you could say over text will be more exciting than the seventh consecutive episode of The Office they’re currently watching in bed, surrounded by crumbs. The bar is set low and the potential for entertainment is high.

It’s true that you two probably won’t be able to see each other for the foreseeable future. But if the sight of someone’s name bubbling up on your phone screen makes you happy, isn’t that worth something? There are far worse problems right now than being bored or lonely, and this situation won’t last forever. You will get through this — and you don’t have to do it alone.

If you think you’re showing symptoms of coronavirus, which include fever, shortness of breath, and cough, call your doctor before going to get tested. If you’re anxious about the virus’s spread in your community, visit the CDC for up-to-date information and resources, or seek out mental health support.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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5 Coronavirus Myths You Need to Stop Believing Immediately

Let’s get one thing straight, before we go any further: you have every right to be concerned about the issue of the Coronavirus, or COVID-19. At the time of writing, there are currently 139,000 cases and 5000 reported deaths from the disease.

Similarly, as borders close and celebrities — including Tom Hanks — go into isolation or quarantine, concern about the spreading disease has hit fever pitch, with many people being forced to work from home or practice self-isolation, for fear of catching the disease. Let’s not even talk about the toilet roll hoarding or the myths about cocaine curing the disease.

All of this, however, doesn’t mean that your health, wellbeing and mental fortitude is out of your control. Far from it, in fact — as hundreds of news and media outlets churn out headlines designed to get clicks, drive engagement and boost traffic at the cost of social anxiety, there’s never been a more pertinent time to re-calibrate yourself with cold, hard facts.

10 Tips to Protect Yourself From Coronavirus

Which, hopefully, is how you’ve found yourself on this page. Here’s, Men’s Health UK helps you separate the scientific fact from social media fiction on all things Coronavirus to help you stay sane and stay healthy. So, without further ado…

Coronavirus Myth #1: You Need a Face Mask

Now synonymous with the outbreak of COVID-19, the white face mask has become a symbol for a disease which has spread over several continents and can be seen being worn almost anywhere, from quiet residential streets to (unsurprisingly) crowded commuter transport. Face masks, however, aren’t a bonafide way of keeping yourself separate from the strain. The virus can transmit through your eyes and is transported through tiny particles, called aerosols, that can penetrate masks. However, for health workers and social carers dealing with the sick, face masks are an essential part of keeping both parties safe — people roaming around a city, however, will see little benefit from wearing one.

Coronavirus Myth #2: Getting COVID-19 Means Certain Death

…it certainly doesn’t. While media headlines focus on the rising death rate (let’s not forget it’s actually decreasing at its place of origin in Wuhan), there are approximately 70,000 cases of people recovering from the strain. In fact, according to the Chinese Center for Disease Control and Prevention, 81 per cent of those infected have mild cases of the Coronavirus and only 2.3 per cent of those infected have died so far.

20 Questions About the Coronavirus, Answered

Crucially, this means there’s no need to panic (or to stock up on tins and dried food), but instead to use this as an opportunity to encourage healthier habits, such as washing your hands more regularly. Here’s how do it perfectly.

Coronavirus Myth #3: You Need to Be Near Someone for 10 Minutes to Contract COVID-19

This is one of the most common concerns. Generally, hospital guidelines consider ‘exposure’ distance as being up to six feet from someone coughing or sneezing for up to 10 minutes. However, shorter interactions can also lead to infection. As can contaminated surfaces, although this is a less common cause of virus transmission.

Coronavirus Myth #4: Pets Can Transmit The Disease

Keeping an eye on your four-legged friend? There’s no need. While social media erupted over the ‘WHO let the dogs out’ joke — read it here — good news came in the form of findings being published confirming that, generally, dogs and cats can’t transmit the Coronavirus to humans. That’s straight from the World Health Organization (WHO), who confirmed that companion animals show no risk of disease transmission.

Coronavirus Myth #5: COVID-19 Is Nothing Compared to the Flu

At a surface level, symptoms of the Coronavirus and the seasonal flu share a few similarities — high temperatures, sore throat and a continuous cough — but that, of course, doesn’t mean that they should be treated the same. That’s because the ‘profile’ of the Coronavirus, when compared to that of the flu, has a much graver mortality rate. Currently, this is much greater than the seasonal flu.

So, What Can I Do To Stay Healthy and Potentially Avoid Coronavirus?

We’re glad you asked. Thankfully, it won’t involve stock piling toilet paper or tearing the last remaining packets of pasta off the supermarket shelves, but instead being a little smarter about your hygiene standards and how you approach your self care — both mentally and physically.

Reconsider Your Exercise Habits

Coronavirus could be the ideal excuse to skip legs, it seems. Earlier this week, we published an article explaining how gyms and public workout areas could be a hotbed for picking up germs and, potentially, the Coronavirus. “As viruses can live on a surface outside the human body for several hours, gym equipment is a prime culprit for picking up an illness,” said Dr Ravi Tomar, a GP at Portland Medical.

Your Phone Can Carry the Coronavirus

“The most effective way of preventing the spread of COVID-19 in the gym, or any other virus for that matter, is for people who aren’t feeling well to simply skip their gym session and stay at home until they’re sure it’s not coronavirus.

“If you’re feeling a bit sniffly and can’t work out whether it’s spring allergies or something more sinister, use a symptom assessment app such as Doctorlink to check before you head to the gym.”

Wash Your Hands (Properly!)

Gents, this is a real no-brainer. Chances are your hands are totally filthy — whether you’ve been sharing a busy office environment or grinding out reps in a commercial gym, you (and your smartphone) are almost certainly harbouring a lot of nasties. Thankfully, your body will be astute at repelling them, but as cases of the Coronavirus rise both in the United Kingdom and abroad, it’s the perfect time to mop up your habits. Here’s how to nail it every time:

  • Wash your hands with soap and water often – do this for at least 20 seconds. Be sure to lather the backs of your hands, between your fingers, and under your nails
  • Always wash your hands when you get home or into work, after touching rubbish, before bandaging wounds, before a meal and after using the toilet
  • Use hand sanitiser gel if soap and water are not available
  • Cover your mouth and nose with a tissue or your sleeve (not your hands) when you cough or sneeze
  • Put used tissues in the bin straight away and wash your hands afterwards
  • Try to avoid close contact with people who are unwell

Use Hand Sanitiser

Wash your hands whenever possible. Ideally, you should use an alcohol-based hand sanitiser that has at least 60 per cent alcohol.

Don’t Touch Your Face with Dirty Hands

Viruses can enter your body through your eyes, nose, mouth and other orifices. Placing contaminated hands on your face can lead to infection, so wash your hands before you touch your eyes, nose and mouth. And after using the bathroom, obviously.

Get Enough Sleep

An essential survival mechanism, sleep helps your body to recover and lowers stress. If you’re feeling ill, you should allow yourself as much sleep as your body needs.

Don’t Panic

Unless you have been in contact with someone infected with the Coronavirus, then treat any cough or cold symptoms as normal. Currently, the NHS advises that people should call 111 instead of visiting the GP’s surgery to prevent the risk of infecting others.

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If you think you’re showing symptoms of coronavirus, which include fever, shortness of breath, and cough, call your doctor before going to get tested. If you’re anxious about the virus’s spread in your community, visit the CDC for up-to-date information and resources, or seek out mental health support.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Young women who are forced to endure sexism are ‘five times more likely to suffer from clinical depression’

‘I dreaded going to work every morning, and it took its toll on both my mental and physical health, and I became a shell of the person I once was,’ says respondent

Young women subject to sexism are five times more likely to suffer from clinical depression, a new study has found.

The report, carried out by the Young Women Trust and University College London, looked at the mental health of women who have suffered sexism and those who had not.

Researchers found the 16-30 age bracket is most likely to experience sexism at school, in the workplace, on public transport, in cabs and beyond the home – as well as enduring it at higher rates than other ages.

Some 82 per cent of those who had battled against sexism said they were victims of street harassment.

Sophie Walker, chief executive of Young Women’s Trust, said the study shows a “clear and damaging link” between sexism and young women’s mental health.

She said: “What too often is dismissed as young women lacking confidence is, in reality, a crisis in mental health caused by a sexist society. Sexism is deeply affecting young women’s lives, their economic freedom and their health.

“That is why the next government must take urgent and concerted action to prevent yet more young women from experiencing sexual harassment and abuse, and the long-term harm this can cause. It’s not just about recognition of the damage sexism inflicts.

“We need mainstream services supporting young women experiencing mental ill-health from having sexism thrown in their faces day after day to be able to sensitively ask them about their experiences of sexist discrimination, abuse and violence, and then provide appropriate support and signposting. As one of our Advisory Panel Members highlighted in the report, ‘sexism sits in the core of you and if you try and ignore it and don’t address it, it rots away and the problems permeate to other areas of your life’.”

Ms Walker argued mixed sex adult mental health services are often not accessible or suitable and called for more specialist young women’s mental health services coupled with investment to tackle violence against young women and girls.

One of the young women surveyed, who chose to remain anonymous, said: “In my personal experience, I have struggled with both stress and anxiety in part as a result of the sexism I experienced within the workplace.

“I dreaded going to work every morning, and it took its toll on both my mental and physical health, and I became a shell of the person I once was.”

Those women aged between 16 and 30 who had endured sexism reported higher levels of psychological distress even four years later – with researchers saying this demonstrates the “devastating impact” on mental health over time.

Vicki Nash, of mental health charity Mind, said: “We know that discrimination, harassment and trauma of any kind can lead to someone developing mental health problems. This report shows how specific experiences of sexism can have a real, detrimental impact on mental well being and should be taken into account when women seek support.

”This is also why it is vital that people are able to access the mental health services they need when they need them. We hear every day from women with mental health problems who have struggled to get the right help even though one in five women experience a common mental health problem, such as depression, and experiences of sexism can increase the likelihood of this.”

Ms Nash argued there were too many women in the UK who were “not having their needs met” by mental health services – adding it was vital women are not “re-traumatized” by being placed on a mixed-sex ward.

Gemma Rosenblatt, of women’s rights organisation Fawcett Society, said the findings of the research show the “shocking impact” of sexism on the mental health of young women.

She added: “Sexism should not be laughed off as insignificant or banter. When young women report, as they do here, feeling unsafe, threatened or physically attacked because of their sex, it is time for society to act. Treating the consequences of sexism isn’t good enough – we need to stop this happening in the first place.’

 

If you think you’re showing symptoms of coronavirus, which include fever, shortness of breath, and cough, call your doctor before going to get tested. If you’re anxious about the virus’s spread in your community, visit the CDC for up-to-date information and resources, or seek out mental health support.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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No wonder isolation’s so tiring. All those extra, tiny decisions are taxing our brains

Anxiety, depression, loneliness and stress are affecting our sleep patterns and how tired we feel.

But we may be getting tired for another reason. All those tiny decisions we make every day are multiplying and taking their toll.

Is it safe to nip out for milk? Should I download the COVIDSafe app? Is it OK to wear my pyjamas in a Zoom meeting?

All of these kinds of decisions are in addition to the familiar, everyday ones. What shall I have for breakfast? What shall I wear? Do I hassle the kids to brush their teeth?

So what’s going on?

We’re increasing our cognitive load

One way to think about these extra decisions we’re making in isolation is in terms of “cognitive load”. We are trying to think about too many things at once, and our brains can only cope with a finite amount of information.

Researchers have been looking into our limited capacity for cognition or attention for decades.

Early research described a “bottleneck” through which information passes. We are forced to attend selectively to a portion of all the information available to our senses at a given time.

These ideas grew into research on “working memory”: there are limits on the number of mental actions or operations we can carry out. Think of remembering a phone or bank account number. Most people find it very hard to remember more than a few at once.

And it can affect how we make decisions

To measure the effects of cognitive load on decision-making, researchers vary the amount of information people are given, then look at the effects.

In one study, we asked participants to predict a sequence of simple events (whether a green or red square would appear at the top or bottom of a screen) while keeping track of a stream of numbers between the squares.

Think of this increase in cognitive load as a bit like trying to remember a phone number while compiling your shopping list.

When the cognitive load is not too great, people can successfully “divide and conquer” (by paying attention to one task first).

In our study, participants who had to learn the sequence and monitor the numbers made just as many successful predictions, on average, as those who only had to learn the sequence.

Presumably they divided their attention between keeping track of the simple sequence, and rehearsing the numbers.

More and more decisions take their toll

But when tasks become more taxing, decision making can start to deteriorate.

In another study, Swiss researchers used the monitoring task to examine the impact of cognitive load on risky choices. They asked participants to choose between pairs of gambles, such as:

A) 42% chance of $14 and 58% chance of $85, or

B) 8% chance of $24 or 92% chance of $44.

Participants made these choices both with their attention focused solely on the gambles, and, in another part of the experiment, while also keeping track of sequences of letters played to them via headphones.

The key finding was not that increasing cognitive load made people inherently more risk-seeking (tending to choose A) or risk-averse (B), but that it simply made them more inconsistent in their choices. Increased cognitive load made them switch.

It is a bit like choosing the fruit salad over the cake under normal circumstances, but switching to the cake when you are cognitively overloaded.

It is not because a higher cognitive load causes a genuine change in your preference for unhealthy food. Your decisions just get “noisier” or inconsistent when you have more on your mind.

‘To do two things at once is to do neither’

This proverbial wisdom (attributed to the Roman slave Publilius Syrus) rings true—with the caveat that we sometimes can do more than one thing if they are familiar, well-practised decisions.

But in the current business-not-as-usual context there are many new decisions we never thought we’d need to make (is it safe to walk in the park when it is busy?).

This unfamiliar territory means we need to take the time to adapt and recognize our cognitive limitations.

Although it might seem as though all those tiny decisions are mounting up, it perhaps isn’t just their number. The root cause of this additional cognitive load could be the undercurrent of additional uncertainty surrounding these novel decisions.

For some of us, the pandemic has displaced a bunch of decisions (do I have time to get to the bus stop?). But the ones that have replaced them are tinged with the anxiety surrounding the ultimate cost that we, or family members, might pay if we make the wrong decision.

So, it is no wonder these new decisions are taking their toll.

So what can I do?

Unless you have had ample experience with the situation, or the tasks you are trying to do are simple, then adding load is likely to leader to poorer, inconsistent or “noisier” decisions.

The pandemic has thrown us into highly unfamiliar territory, with a raft of new, emotionally tinged decisions to face.

The simple advice is to recognize this new complexity, and not feel you have to do everything at once. And “divide and conquer” by separating your decisions and giving each one the attention it—and you—deserve.

 

If you think you’re showing symptoms of coronavirus, which include fever, shortness of breath, and cough, call your doctor before going to get tested. If you’re anxious about the virus’s spread in your community, visit the CDC for up-to-date information and resources, or seek out mental health support.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Eileen – Chapter 16 – Helicopters and Pizza

Spring 2019

While Eileen have been busting or butts killing it at the salon, our dear co-worker, Amelia, has been serving our fair nation in the air force reserve for the last two weeks.

Eileen’s picked up all of her shifts and is killing it at the front counter as usual.

I’ve been here for two years and seen it all. I’ve done every job imaginable here. Once that occurs and it gets crazy busy, Achilles and I both agree it’s time to let go and let the staff take over intake and we’ll just go run and clean and clear sun beds all night.

The girls are so much better at hosting the clients and being calm and sweet. I would rather work in the background. Manage the laundry, clean beds, and stock the bathroom.

It really comes down to doing everything all of the time and having the opportunity to just do one thing and maintain it. The girls are so much more calm and so much better at managing our clients.

Back home in St. Louis, Eileen, summers as a hostess at an Olive Garden. She’s 18 and has already grasped the concept of great client service even when all of your clients are all morons.

It’s called the service industry and we need to hold their hands and walk them through the entire process and be sweet about it. Eileen is a great actress and gets the job. That’s what she has to be. Because these people have the disposable income to go tanning but most of them you’d never want to even have a drink with, but Eileen gets it and is sweet to every singe one of them, even if she has loathing in her sweet heart.

I miss Amelia. She’s been in Okinawa for the last two weeks and it feels like forever because I adore her. I have been blessed with such great staff this year. It’s truly like a blessing based on the garbage we’ve had through here over the last ten years.

I mean I’ve loved the few that have been solid but for the most part, in any low end retail business where you pay less than ten bucks an hour you’re scraping the bottom of the barrel.

I can’t wait for Amelia to return so I can buy her a drink and hear all of her stories from her trip. Eileen and I both agree it feels like she’s been gone forever and we miss her at our salon.

I feel like I miss her more, because while we work together there’s something missing. Eileen and I carry the whole ship every night. We get killed here and overrun with people needing to tan. It’s just the two of us. Achilles, leaves at 3pm and hopes we never call him with a problem.

That’s how it’s been for the last two years. Every spring we get run over with people who need to be tanned. Weddings, Proms, bachelorette parties, the arrival of summer, formals, graduations, honeymoons, vacations, etc.

It’s insane.

But it’s when this company makes it’s money. It’s our Christmas season.

I miss Amelia, but my girl Eileen has been deadly every night at this salon.

The air conditioning is failing and the salon has become like the inside of a volcano. The stand up units are so busy that the metal handles inside them are too hot to hold. (which sounds like a shitty Bon Jovi song) Room #4 cuts off because it always overheats. #9 has a bad board and if you touch the fan button, it turns off much to the dismay of a naked person hoping to tan. So we have to deal with those fails. Don’t even get me started on the aqua misting in #1 and #2 failing all night long.

But through this, Eileen is on point with every person that comes through the door. She’s 18. A young girl. But she greets every person without attitude. She’s always charming and cordial. Truly an amazing actress.

Achilles doesn’t even realize the renaissance we have entered with this current model.

I get that. He’s been doing the damn thing for over a decade. The bullshit he’s have to put up running this business has been crushing and very disappointing most of the time. I get it.

But in this moment we have the best.

I see it.

I wish he could too, but I feel he’s jaded and only sees the staff as cattle that roll through and do the job.

The air conditioning unit is failing, and the salon is like an oven. It leaks into room 3 and I joke that we should charge our clients more for the rainforest experience.

The retail outlet below us complains about the gym we opened here that kind of never happened.

They complain about the noise of weights being dropped. The fitness place above us sued us for putting a gym in. We’re the meat in a shit sandwich in rittenhouse.

I see the writing on the wall and it’s very clear.

But despite all of the things we tried to do here, the salon is killing it. The cash is rolling in.

But for who?

I thought I’d be a partner in a fitness center a year ago, but now I see that I’m the greatest clerk in one of the last tanning salons in the city and that’s all.

It’s all going to work out because I have a massive back up plan.

Let’s get back to my subject, Eileen.

Fantastic employee. My hire. Want her everyday.

We’ve hung out. I do the things that Achilles is incapable of. Take your employees out and reward them for their service. I’m great at that, Achilles. Not so much.

We’ve been killed in the last week and I don’t have Amelia. It’s been Eileen and me getting run over by clients.

My relationship is different between both girls. But I adore them both for their personalities and work ethic.

We all joke about so many things like all co-workers do.

But the one that Eileen finds the most delightful is the scenario where I’m hanging out and having a meal with Eileen and her boyfriend gets super jealous.

I have made jokes about this about how maybe we are sitting at Honeygrow or MacDonald’s and her boyfriend flies in on a helicopter and comes in and kills me.

I, as the stand up comedian and the funny dude I am, have come up with many funny scenarios about how her boyfriend gets pissed off and comes to kill me in a helicopter.

Eileen loves these funny stories, and literally squeals with delight when I spin these tales. But like all 18-year old teenage girls wearing promise rings, they’re going to share everything with their significant others.

(Oh…. sidebar here, apparently her boy cheated on her and slept with another girl during this elegant promise ring relationship) I feel bad for Eileen that this happened because it shows his weakness and Amelia and I both agree he’s a thumb and doesn’t deserve a queen like Eileen.

They share everything non-stop on social media and apparently Thomas is getting pissed off that I have been taking is girlfriend out to nice restaurants for ice cream.

Of course I can imagine at his age. But really dude. I’m an old dad that is just happy I got some good staff.

I told Eileen I don’t want to cause her any problems.

She says, “he an kiss my ass.”

“What do you mean?”

He’s being and asshole. He can kiss my ass. He doesn’t understand who you are. I told him when he meats you he’ll like you. I told him we work together and we have a relationship.”

I love that she told her boyfriend that she’s developed a relationship  with me.

I know what you’re all thinking… settle down. It’s nothing. She’s my employee and a teenager.

It’s all in good fun!

 

If you think you’re showing symptoms of coronavirus, which include fever, shortness of breath, and cough, call your doctor before going to get tested. If you’re anxious about the virus’s spread in your community, visit the CDC for up-to-date information and resources, or seek out mental health support.

 

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