15 Bumble Bio Ideas To Use During The Coronavirus That’ll Rack Up Matches

No pressure or anything, but what you write in your bio could mean the difference between a right or left swipe. IRL, you can catch someone’s attention with a flirty smile across a packed bar, a witty joke deployed via DM slide, or bold moves on the dance floor. On dating apps, however, you have a limited number of words (and photos) to make that crucial first impression. Dating apps are more crowded than ever these days, so check out these Bumble bio ideas to use during the coronavirus pandemic.

Odds are, you’re spending more time than ever swiping away now that the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has recommended social distancing. The key to attracting quality matches, of course, is to put your best foot forward — and a clever bio is a great way to show off your personality and sense of humor.

A warning: Now is not the time to test out your edgiest jokes. Kindness and respect are always welcome on dating apps — so please, steer clear of offensive jokes that make light of people who are sick, out of work, or on the front lines.

This is easier than you might think. Need some inspiration? The following bios are ready to use — all you have to do is hit copy and paste. Whether you’re searching for your soulmate or just a pen pal to casually flirt with, these bios are bound to rack up the matches.

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1. Seeking someone that looks at me the way I look at the last roll of toilet paper RN.

2. Now accepting Venmo payments for our next virtual date: [insert handle here].

3. Current hobbies include: mindlessly looking inside my fridge every 20 minutes, panic-scrolling Twitter, maybe chatting with you?

4. Pros: looks decent in a face mask. Cons: spotty WiFi signal.

5. Using this sitch to work on fulfilling my dream of becoming a TikTok sensation. HBU?

6. Please remember to practice safe sext (washing your hands for at least 20 seconds).

7. Signature scent: Purell.

8. Current theme song: “All By Myself.”

9. I’m just a human, standing 6 feet away from another human, asking them not to move any closer.

10. Looking for my Prince Charmin.

11. Tell me your go-to quarantine snack and we’ll go from there.

12. FYI, I make a mean quarantini.

13. Apparently, what you stock up on says a lot about you. For me, it’s coffee and wine.

14. Major points if you can send me the perfect coronavirus-meets-Tiger King meme.

15. There’s a 50/50 chance I’ll be wearing PJs on the bottom during our next virtual date. Just trying to kick things off on a note of pure honesty.

 

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Life Before Quarantine – Part 7

During quarantine I’ve been fairly productive. I get my energy from people but I really enjoy my alone time. My daughter agrees. We’re both perfectly happy being on our own. I was looking through some photos the other day and I got some great memories of when we were all allowed to come out and play. I thought I’d share some of them with you. I’ll run this series every week until I run out of photos! If you see yourself, hit me up!

I’m very fortunate to have met you all and enjoyed the times we had together. Thank you!

Enjoy!

 

 

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5 Ways Women Try To Impress Men (And Why They Don’t Work)

Women do a lot of silly things to try to impress men; I know this, because men do a lot of ridiculous things to impress women, too. It’s like the circle of life, only it ends with quiet sobbing into a pillow.

The elements of sexual attraction aren’t too complex. Though, even accepted societal norms for picking up a guy often miss the mark because women overthink things. Here’s a look at some of the most surefire ways that women think that they can impress a guy—and why they’ll fail miserably every time.

1. Perfume

No man I know minds when a woman smells like nothing—a simple stick of deodorant accomplishes this. Women who slather on the perfume end up smelling like the front counter of Macy’s, and it’s a bit of a turn-off. A spray or two there might be nice for a special occasion, but I can’t think of a situation where I’d ever think, Man, she’s nice, but I’d like her better if she smelled like someone was pouring a stream of animal urine that vaguely smelled like flowers onto her head.

2. Tanning

Tanned skin wasn’t seen as a necessary beauty treatment in American society until the last 20 years or so, with the exception of the taxidermy community. Now, it’s reached a fairly feverish pitch. Tanning salons are all over the place, waiting to help you turn your skin into a sort of orange, glowing monstrosity that looks like it was sprayed out of a can (and in some cases, it actually is). There are men out there who are impressed by a good tan, but they’re what the scientific community calls “pig-ignorant slimeballs.”

3. Name Brands

You shouldn’t wear name brand clothes that cost more than they need to just because you want to impress men. If you’re trying to impress women, this sometimes works, but name brand items don’t do much for any man other than Ralph Lauren. And just to prove that men don’t know anything about brands, I just referenced Ralph Lauren. I have no idea if he makes good clothes. Probably not. But he’s the only designer I could name.

4. Makeup

Makeup doesn’t do a lot for guys. In small doses it’s alright, but if I want to get eyeshadow all over my clothes, I’ll go see the Cure in concert.

5. Cosmetic Surgery

It almost sounds trite to say that cosmetic surgery is ugly and disgusting. Everyone claims to hate it; yet, it’s still a thriving industry. The thing is, though, the cosmetic surgery industry caters to a specific kind of person—the type of person who wants to look fantastic at all costs. The industry isn’t set up for making people beautiful. It’s set up to make people think they look beautiful. And if the results were fantastic, well, then all’s fair in love and war. Ultimately, breast augmentation, fat reduction, Botox treatments … all of this looks terrible to men, women, small children and animals. Plastic surgery may eventually provide a way for people to cheat themselves into looking younger, but right now it’s more lip service than anything else, pardon the pun.

What futile attempts to impress men do women make? Post in the comments section below.

 

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13 Signs Your Ex Is Confused about Your Breakup: What About You?

Breakups aren’t easy. Usually, we end up more confused after the relationship. What do the signs your ex is confused mean for you and your relationship?

If your ex is telling you they want you back, don’t rush into it. You need to take a step back and see the signs your ex is confused. That way, you’ll know what to do next.

After my long term relationship *four years!*, it took me a while to get over my ex. Throughout the relationship, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be with him, and my emotions and self-esteem got the best of me. I didn’t think I could find someone who would love me the same way and make me feel happy, even though I knew my ex wasn’t the one for me. So, I stuck it out and stayed in the relationship.

But, eventually, it came to an end. Going through a breakup is really hard, and during the process, it makes you think about your ex in a different light. On the nights where you’re sad and lonely, you think about the good times you had—and it sucks you back in.

How to interpret the signs your ex is confused

My ex and I were off-and-on for a couple of months after the breakup. Even though we both knew the breakup must happen, you struggle with separating for good. This was someone you called your best friend; someone you shared laughs and memories with. I was definitely confused and highly emotional when wanting to go back to my ex.

And these emotions just made the breakup even harder for both of us. Don’t get played by emotions if it isn’t the right thing for you.

#1 What does your gut instinct say? When it comes to your gut instinct, your body knows when something isn’t right. If your ex gives you all the right words, but you feel something is off, then listen to your gut. If what they’re saying or doing isn’t making you feel good, then it’s not for you.

#2 They’re hot and cold. When you talk to them, they’ll be happy and flirty one day, and the next, moody and antisocial. They’re clearly confused with how they’re feeling about the breakup. They’re not sure what to do and struggling emotionally to make a decision.

#3 They mention how much they’ve invested in you. When you talk with them, they bring up how much they invested in the relationship. This could be seen as a positive, but also negative. If they feel they’re invested a lot, getting back together could be because they don’t want to waste what they put into the relationship.

#4 They’re angry. Anger is usually a common emotion after a breakup. If your ex feels indifference, then that’s a sign they’re over the relationship. But anger shows that they’re not over the breakup; they’re not over you. Although, it doesn’t mean you should get back together. 

#5 They don’t try to reconcile. It doesn’t matter who’s at fault for the breakup, the point is, they don’t push to reconcile. They won’t even bring up the reason why you broke up. If they’re not willing to work on reconciling the relationship, then they’re not ready to be in one. 

#6 They tell you they want you back. But when it comes to committing, they don’t jump right in. This is because they’re unsure about the relationship. They may tell you they want you back, but if they’re not ready to commit, they’re just confused.

#7 They make up reasons to talk to you. Your ex always has an excuse to talk to you. Even though they don’t directly bring up getting back together, they focus on talking about memories or things you like.

#8 They’re dating other people. Even though they’re casually dating others, how can they get back together with you at the same time? If they really wanted to be with you, they wouldn’t be dating other people too.

#9 You’re getting mixed messages. They’ll drop subtle hints about wanting to get back together with you, but then the next day they mention wanting to move on. And every day, it’s something different. The messages you get aren’t clear, if anything, you’re more confused now than you’ve ever been. Well, if you’re confused, they’re confused.

#10 They attempt to make you jealous. Your ex does their best to make you jealous, and sometimes it works. When you confront them on what they do, instead of taking action, they play games. See, they’re not really interested in getting back together with you; they just don’t want your attention to move from them to someone else.

#11 They keep communication open. When someone is ready to move on, they cut ties with their ex, at least, until they’ve moved on. But your ex still lingers around, liking your posts and chatting with you via text. They want to keep the line of communication open, just in case.

#12 They try to publicly humiliate you. When your ex tries to put you down in public, they’re hurting. This isn’t an excuse for their actions. All this shows you is their immaturity and they’re confused with their emotions.

They don’t know how to handle their emotions, so they put their anger onto you. If this happens, it’s a clear red flag.

#13 They tell you they’re confused. If you’ve confronted them about their actions, good for you! If you’re confused, talk to them about it and see how they feel. If they tell you they’re confused, you now know where they stand. And if they’re confused about their feelings for you, then they don’t want to be with you. They just don’t know how to move on.

Now that you know the signs your ex is confused, what do you think? Is your ex really confused or do they genuinely want to get back together with you?

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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How To Get Over Someone Who You Think You’ll Never Get Over

Some people are just really difficult to let go of. That’s one of the lasting side effects of having loved someone. And often, the stronger the love, the more difficult it will be to let go of it all and move on with your life, especially if you spend a lot of time remembering how good it once was and believing it could be that good again. Even when you come to accept that it is time to move on, it is not always easy to get over someone you think you’ll never get over.

Losing someone you thought was your forever person may leave you feeling blindsided, and your first instinct might be to try to get back with them. But even if you have fully decided you definitely want to get over this person (which is a major step in itself, so congrats), there can still be a long road ahead for you. However, it is important to remember that you will not always feel like this. In fact, there are a number of steps you can take to get out of this funk faster and get on your way back to a happier, healthier place in life.

Woman sad staring out a window

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1. Give It Time

Time really can heal all wounds. How much time, however, depends on the individual. If this is someone you never imagined yourself moving on from, then you’re probably going to need more time than you imagine. But move on you shall — as long as you let yourself.

“Allow yourself to feel sad, to cry, to simply grieve the loss of something that could have been, but don’t let it paralyze you,” LA-based relationship therapist Dr. Gary Brown previously explained to phicklephilly.

So don’t rush moving on; just slow down a bit, and take the time you need to just heal.

2. Get Some Closure

Getting closure is one of the best ways you can understand why you two wouldn’t have worked out. Regardless of whether you were dumped or you were the one doing the dumping, if you’re still hung up on this person, then you’re going to need to do some digging.

Maybe you’re bad for each other. Maybe the timing was just never right. Or maybe you two just didn’t have it in you to keep trying to make the relationship work.

Whatever it is, find the reason (or, often, reasons) you need to let go, and hang on to that instead. “Remember specific examples of things they said or did, or didn’t say or didn’t do as a reminder” of why you two might not have worked out in the long term, Dr. Brown said.

3. Focus On Yourself

If you’ve spent a significant amount of time focused on someone else, once they’re out of your life, it may be hard to refocus back onto yourself. But self-care is essential. “I encourage clients to get ‘back to themselves’ by reconnecting to their inner pulse, their internal thoughts and feelings,” Liz Higgins, LMFT and founder of Millennial Life Counseling, suggested. One way to do this, she said, is by journaling: “This could be as basic as giving yourself 10 minutes a day to just write the thoughts that come to you, or to pick structured prompts like ‘five things I’m grateful for in my life’ or ‘qualities I feel I brought/bring to my relationships.’”

There are a number of things you can do to make sure you’re prioritizing yourself. Find what feels good for you.

4. Remember There Are Other People Out There

“Just remember that there’s mathematically more than just one person who you can be happy with,” Dr. Brown noted. “Don’t get hung up on the false idea that there’s only one.”

Of course, getting yourself to the point where you’re ready to seriously date other people is difficult, and you shouldn’t move on to this step until you feel you’re actually ready to do it — not just for your sake, but for the sake of your potential future partner.

“You are hurting, and if you don’t want others to hurt you, don’t hurt others by using them to get over your negative emotions,” Dr. Martha Tara Lee, a clinical sexologist (DHS, MA, BA) and founder of Eros Coaching, previously told phicklephilly.

5. Understand Loss Is Part Of Life

Moving on can be extremely painful, but as Dr. Lee said, the is part of being human. “Pain tells us we are alive — we can stay with [it], embrace it and work through it one breath at time and one day at a time,” she said. So, even though it might hurt at the beginning, these steps toward getting over someone will ultimately help you feel better, and hopefully work toward a better, more fulfilling future for yourself.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Cherie – Sigh… Beyond Epilogue

So in the wake of the apparent going of Cherie, I am left with no alternative.

Am I sad that my relationship with Cherie has evaporated under the weight of a myriad of reasons?

Her obligations to her job at CHOP, her family, bills, son, health issues, school issues, her financial issues, etc.

All of these issues have factored into the collective demise of our relationship.

I take responsibility for this too. I work a million hours at two jobs now and I’m rarely available either.

Cherie had to get a babysitter and travel 40 miles down here to see me. That’s a hike and hard to do. I’ve never gone to see her where she lives, and it seems that our love affair was reduced to nothing more than booty calls and some movies and meals.

Going into this, I wore armor. I was never going to let what happened to me with crazy Annabelle ever happen to me again. (See: Annabelle)

If you don’t evolve, you die. I knew I could never let my desires ever rule my life again. I needed to be clear and understand that if I got into a relationship with anyone ever again, it had to be different.

I had to be different.

For the first time in my life I didn’t let my addiction to the drug of love rule the day.

I realized after Annabelle that I could never let anyone hurt me again in the way she so easily did with her folly.

I needed to learn and evolve beyond what happened and be ready to fall in love again, but make sure certain things were in place.

When I met Cherie, it was 2016. This blog was new, and I joined these dating apps to meet women to get back in the game. I went on so many dates, and tried to date age appropriate women, and it really failed.

It gave me content for the blog, but it felt like an exercise in buying dinner and drinks for people I didn’t have any passion for.

But I had to find my way back into the dating arena.

Did I want love? Well, I guess we all want that, but 4 years ago I felt that if I was writing a dating blog, I should not only cover it all, I should try to actually find a decent mate.

I felt that I found that with Cherie.

But I was still working on my old model for meeting and dating women. Cherie matched with me on Tinder. She was 26, fit, hot, single mom, good job, and ready to get her BS in neuroscience.

Our first date was amazing. But I was still doing the same thing. But this one had a few different parts.

All of the other ones wanted marriage and kids. Cherie had a son and didn’t want any more. I thought that was perfect. I get the young hot girl on the right side of 30 who doesn’t want what every other girl I’ve met in the last 15 years has wanted.

Cherie’s great. Any drama she had in her life she kept it away from me. I loved being with her and was honored she wanted to be with an old lion like me. She was fire in the bedroom and I loved when we were together.

I actually loved when we’d burn it down and then she was gone the next day.

I realized that after my marriage and all of my failed relationships that a girl who would love me and visit occasionally was perfect for me.

I had my work, my little social life, and my alone time. I only needed to be Led Zeppelin once or twice a month with Cherie.

Because of her school, work, child responsibilities, she couldn’t be around all the time and I loved that.

I remember my father saying, “I want a woman, but I want her when I want her.”

That sounds selfish, but I understand that now. I understand a lot of things as I get older.

It’s a relief to really know who you are at my age. So many men can’t do that. If they’re friends of mine, I’ll help them with that.

Or not…

So like I said before, I would walk through Rittenhouse with hot Cherie and think, “Wife” but I know that’s not true. It was just a feeling I had because I loved her and she was beautiful.

So pretty. Her brown thighs flexing and glowing in the afternoon sun.

But I can’t be in a relationship or ever be married.

The phicklephilly guy. The dating and relationship guru, can’t be caged and has no interest in any of that.

I’ll probably lose followers but I have to tell the truth.

I love the company of people in my life. I work so much. I get my energy from people. I’m so happy you’re all in my life, but I just don’t think I can be in a relationship.

It’s hard. All of the attention. The texting. The commitment. The time. All of the stuff. I’ve done it all… and I’m done.

Don’t worry, the blog isn’t finished. I love dating, and who knows? Maybe I’ll meet a girl who turns my head around.

I believe anything can happen and love is the strongest force in the galaxy.

I normally have an agenda when I write because there’s a story to be told, but tonight I just wanted to talk to somebody about what I’m going through.

I think I’m destined to be alone.

I’m fine with that.

Sadly. It’s over between Cherie and Me.

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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