Exhausted from too much intercourse, Ghanaian women demand end of Coronavirus lockdown

The African country Ghana imposed lockdown in the first week of April; 566 positive cases and 8 deaths

Perturbed over the never-ending demand for sex from their partners during the lockdown, women in Ghana are requesting their president Nana Addo to either end the lockdown or allow men to go out for work.

Ghana has so far reported 566 positive cases and eight deaths due to global pandemic coronavirus. To curb the spread of virus, Ghana entered the down in the first week of April.

In an undated video which has now become viral on social media sites including Twitter, WhatsApp, YouTube, Instagram and Facebook, an unnamed woman has expressed her helpless to meet her husband’s sexual demands during the lockdown.

The story was first published on April 11 by Ghana MMA, a website dealing with news from Ghana. The publication reported that the woman, speaking in the local language, said she represented all the Ghanaian women suffering a similar fate.

Expressive Info said that according to the woman in the video, her husband is killing her with too much sex. She complained that after satisfying him sexually, she still has to go and cook for him.

The woman had to run away from her house to reach her workplace and record her plight on a video. In the video, shelves lined with assorted products are visible. The Ghanaian woman said that even though she had defied the lockdown, she was sure that the security officers would understand her dilemma.

“You wake up to see an erect dick waiting for you, after cooking and the man eats and watch TV for some time only to be asked for sex again and again. We did not enter lockdown because of Dick but because of our health,” Expressive Info quoted the woman.

Saying that “Our men are fucking us too much,” the woman in the video pleaded the President to allow their men to venture of the homes for work, or end the lockdown so that the women can move out of their homes unrestricted.

Netizens react to the woman’s dilemma

BimBikini@Girl6Sd

If it wasnt for women’s rights, we would all just be a hole for somebody’s pleasure. You can imagine during a lock down Ghanaian women pleading because their men demanding sex all the time during the day/night?
Tf…

The video which soon went viral on Twitter had some amazing responses from the Twitterati. “So those women want to be quarantined or,” wrote one user. “And in Malaysia the men can’t keep up. Keep seeing comments from young blokes that their girlfriends are wearing them out,” wrote a user on Facebook. “I dont want to laugh at this because it sounds like rapey combined with domestic abuse,” mentioned another.

Lesh@lesh_nongxa

”Our Men Are Fvcking Us Too Much” – Ghanaian Women Plead With Nana Addo To End The Lockdown while here woman and man are crying for help.

Embedded video

Salube Andrew🌚@salubewynn

Ghanaian women crying for government help against too much sex, South Africans brutally forced to stay indoors, Tanzanian president insists the pandemic can be cured through prayers, Ugandan youth’s mind on sex. Issues in Africa are not for the light hearted.

 

 

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Yes, Taking a Break in a Relationship Can Work, But Here’s What to Consider

Hey, in the end, Ross and Rachel were okay…

Do you ever dream of hitting a refresh button on your relationship? You could clear away your emotional cache, rearrange your expectations, and take a break in order to rekindle your spark. This is easier dreamed of than executed, of course. Because relationships are beautifully complex, and the issues within them take time and effort to mend. Perhaps even a stretch of distance.

Let’s say you’re entertaining thoughts of taking a break from your partner, but you fear it will summon a disastrous ending. You know, kind of like when Ross saw his break from Rachel as a pass to hook up with another woman, which she interpreted as cheating, tearfully declaring, “You’re a totally different person to me now…” And, after taking months to reunite, “We were on a break!” became Ross’s hot-tempered catchphrase—reverberating for all of eternity (well, the season).

So if you’re flirting with the idea of pulling away from the one you love, read on. While all relationships progress according to their own timeline, we called upon the experts to help you determine if your next right move is to take a step back. And, if it is, here’s how to deal with everything from communicating your expectations to laying out the rules—especially if you’d like to avoid those “We were on a break!”-level mishaps. Because time apart might be exactly the refresher you need…

First, how do you know if your relationship could benefit from a break?

It often begins with the burning question: “Is it you… or is it me?” You may get the sense that something about the relationship is troubled, unsatisfying, or that the passion is fizzing out. Instead of being energized by your time together, perhaps you feel anxious, drained or uninspired.

Say, for example, your conversations are laced with antagonism and reeking of tension. You’ve got the eye-rolling, loud sighs of frustration and passive-aggressive jabs. Or, perhaps there has been cheating, and while the love remains intact, your faith is nearly wrecked. “If the relationship is starting to feel like, ‘I can’t fully be myself,’ or ‘I have to act in a way that is hurtful or makes me feel uneasy,’ then it’s a sign that something about the way you are operating as a couple is not working, and you might want to consider taking time apart to explore those issues,” says Dr. Racine Henry, New York-based couples and family therapist.

The impulse to withdraw from your partner isn’t always about conflict, however. Dr Henry says it could be roused by a shift in belief system or lifestyle. Say, for example, you recently committed to sobriety or gave your eating habits an impassioned overhaul, yet your partner seems bummed that you no longer want to join them for hotdogs and beer. Or, perhaps you’ve accepted a hefty work promotion that will take you away from your shared ritual of Netflix binges.

In such cases, you and your partner may need some time alone to determine if your lives are still compatible or, perhaps, how to streamline your priorities in order to reinstate your compatibility. “Sometimes an individual simply needs to give attention to their friendships, family or health, or finish an important work project they have neglected. Which means a break is also a time to explore how the elements of nourishing the self can be incorporated into how you function as a couple,” says Dr. Henry.

But, wait: If it isn’t a breakup… what does it mean?

According to Dr. Henry, if the break is primarily about “I want to see other people,” then you’re most likely tuned to the frequency of breaking up. Or, at the very least, one of you is strongly dancing with the idea of exploring the world solo. But a break? That has an entirely different energy behind it. In the majority of cases, it means one’s overall desire is to continue the relationship, but they either need to examine the elements within it, or temporarily prioritize something outside of it.

“A break is most often ‘I can’t be intimately involved with and responsible for your feelings at this time, so that I can focus on my own.’ It means not having to perform the duties of being a good partner, in order to explore one’s own happiness or healing,” she says. “It’s not necessarily a sign that the relationship is headed for an ending.”

In other words, it’s less about indulging in things outside of the commitment—sans guilt or consequence—and more so motivated by a desire for clarity or personal evolution.

So, how long should a break last?

One or both of you might feel imprisoned by a time restraint, and doing so could sabotage your whole plan to upgrade yourself or your relationship—before the process has a chance to potentially work its magic, advises Dr. Henry.

“It’s not always a good idea to put a time limit on a break. The person asking for the break may feel pressured, thinking, ‘Oh, I only have four weeks to get my thoughts and decisions together,’ and the other person may be thinking, ‘By this date, everything is going to be back to normal,’ so they aren’t as motivated to do the work.” she says.

Instead of setting a time frame, schedule regular check-ins.

Then you’ve created an additional plight of expectations that might make the break counterproductive. So, then, how do you prevent it from stretching on indefinitely?

Dr. Henry says that mapping out a schedule for regular check-ins is a smarter strategy—whether daily, weekly or monthly, or by email, text or FaceTime. That way, as you progress through the break, you can gauge how your partner is feeling and organically determine when the break should expire, as opposed to holding each other hostage to a specific deadline straight out of the gate.

Should standard relationship rules still apply?

There is no right or wrong path. You and your partner should create a custom blueprint for your time apart—one designed according to your relationship’s strengths, weaknesses and desired renovations. The point is to be transparent about the characteristics that will specifically change and the ones that will stay the same. Say, for example, will you continue to celebrate birthdays and holidays together? What about your cousin’s upcoming wedding—will you still be their plus-one? And, if the relationship is monogamous, will that parameter remain intact? “Write out a list of your concerns, questions and requests, and break them down for each other. Make sure both of you clearly understand what to expect overall,” says Dr. Henry.

If you’re nervous, this is an essential step—because the aspects of your relationship that remain unchanged (i.e. staying official on social media, etc.) can serve as anchors for your love, bringing comfort during the hiatus.

Denna Babul, relationship expert and author of the upcoming book Love Strong: Change Your Narrative, Change Your Life and Take Your Power Back, emphasizes the importance of being compassionate about your partner’s history when ironing out the rules. “You have to understand what each person needs—not only from the break but during the break. For example, let’s say one party in the relationship has abandonment issues from childhood. If so, they will likely need regular check-ins and reassurance,” she says.

But this shouldn’t involve betraying your own needs in order to pacify their fears. Otherwise you’re using the time to drive further away from yourself.

Know that a break is not a means to manipulate your partner…

Unless of course you want to create more potholes within the trust you’ve built. So, while it may be tempting to flaunt other admirers or opportunities in their face, Babul says there is risky business in playing those cards. “One way that people get into trouble on a break is that they may do it with a spirit of ‘I’m going to go show them!’ But then it backfires terribly,” she says.

Because a relationship is not a game. So if you’re requesting a break as a means of punishment, or to scare them into being more attentive or romantic, you’re creating further damage—even if the consequences aren’t obvious immediately. Dr. Henry stresses that a break “should specifically be about the things you’re going to do for yourself and who you want to be in the relationship,” not a manipulative tool. Scare tactics aren’t relationship rehab, but trickery. And they will almost always come back to haunt you.

Temporarily eliminating communication may help rebuild it…

Dr. Henry says that when one or both parties feels a tug to retract their energy from the relationship, it’s often a sign that the health of their communication is awry.

A break should specifically be about the things you’re going to do for yourself, and who you want to be in the relationship.

“Almost every couple shows up at therapy and says, ‘We aren’t communicating…’ and I always say to them, ‘That’s not why you’re really here!’ Everything is communication—including one-word text messages. What needs to happen is reestablishing the right exchanges of communication—ones that are more honest, open and thorough in expression,” she says.

So, if you withdraw love when you don’t get your way, perhaps turning your back on a heated discussion, you’re communicating. The same applies when you go radio silent with your phone, or interrupt them when they offer a rebuttal in an argument. Dr. Henry advises that, if negative communication habits have contaminated your relationship, a break may be an effective way to clearly identify and filter through those toxic patterns.

And, if you want the break to be productive, set intentions and goals.

“Make sure each person shares what they hope to accomplish by the time you come back together,” says Babul. “What tools are you going to put in place? What do you need to figure out? Otherwise you might end up wasting the break by shutting down, vegging out or calling your ex.”

Whether you need to put the finishing touches on a business plan, study for a certification, determine if you can forgive an indiscretion, or figure out whether or not you want to have children, lean into self-exploration before the break commences. This will help you enter into it with a spirit of action, power and purpose, making the process feel less elusive.

Know that each person has the right to choose how they navigate those goals… alone.

While being clear about what you wish to accomplish is key, Babul says that both of you should manage your expectations around how that plays out. Real life is not a rom-com, and you might not get the screen-worthy apology or fairytale reunion you’re dreaming of. “It’s important to remember that you can’t control how the other person accomplishes the goals you put in place,” she says.

Your partner is not obligated to align with your expectations, nor are you obligated to harmonize with theirs. Trying to enforce dictatorship over how the other person should evolve through the break is a recipe for resentment. Because there is no way to predict what insights and revelations may come.

In other words, take this time to focus on activating your sense of personal fulfillment, instead of obsessing about whether or not your partner has found their way into someone else’s arms. Because your worst-case hypotheticals are oftentimes far from reality, and even if they come true, worrying only gives you an illusion of having control over the outcome.

Because if you want a whole relationship, you have to be a whole person.

While the notorious line in Jerry Maguire, “You complete me,” has influenced our romantic ideals for decades, it’s a total fallacy. In fact, according to Dr. Henry, if you want a fulfilling relationship, hunting for a partner to complete you is a dead-end goal. Because nobody has that kind of power

“There’s often this rhetoric around the idea that when you are a couple, you’re no longer an individual,” she says. “But that’s never true. Taking a break, when needed, is a way to be selfish for a while, and I don’t think selfish is an ugly word. I think ‘selfish’ is a great and productive word that we need to use more often. It actually makes us better in our relationships.”

So, whether you’re the one asking for the break, or if you’ve found yourself on the undesirable end of one, try to see it through a lens of self-optimization. Relish it as though it’s a sacred course—because it is. You could finish that stack of books you’ve longed to devour, reunite with a long-abandoned creative pursuit, or simply take yourself on a date to the movies. You’re on a break, so be all the way on it—as selfishly as you need to be.

Yes, it’s possible for it to work.

A break can absolutely create a more vivid and satisfying bond in the long-run, according to Dr. Henry. “I’ve had couples start coming to therapy while on a break. It allowed them to have focused conversations that took them to deeply-rooted levels of communication around their issues. They were able to accomplish things they would not have been able to otherwise.”

So if you and your partner are symbiotically invested in creating a healthy and lasting union, a break could be transformative in the best of ways—despite the toxicity that may have wormed its way into your habits. Because relationships are not defined by how you fall apart, but by how you come back together with a vision of the future.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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5 Mistakes Most Women Make When Dating Divorced Men

Learn from my mistakes.

“Do you want kids?” I asked.

“Sure I do,” he said.

And with that, I was hooked. Yes, I knew that he was divorced and had two children, but just knowing that he did want kids meant overcoming the first hurdle of dating him.

However, the first 6 months, there were a lot more hurdles, which led to the relationship breaking down.

Having dated a divorced guy, I’d always wished there was some kind of dating advice to help me navigate. Fortunately, from experience, I now know what not to do and the mistakes to avoid.

So, if the guy you’re seeing is ready for dating after divorce, here’s how you can be too. Avoid these five mistakes when dating a divorced man.

1. You ignore his opinion on kids.

Make sure you are both aligned to what you want.

Even though he said he wanted kids, I could tell half way through our dating that things had changed, and I ignored the signs. He already had two children and even though in the first instance he said he wanted to have another with me, I knew that he had started to change his mind.

Instead, confront your situation head-on (if you do want kids with a divorced guy), especially if he has children already. To avoid adding pressure, make sure that you know that you are both on the same path.

2. You get involved in a relationship when he’s still fighting with his ex.

Make sure he is over his ex and/or knows how to handle his emotions towards her.

It felt like I was in a relationship with both of them. He would talk about her all the time. This would cause a lot of tension and would then be transferred into our relationship, which caused a lot of stress on both of us.

To avoid this, it’s key that he has moved on so you can focus on having a good time.

3. You move in together too quickly.

Make sure you take things slowly. Figure out whether this divorced man is the right person for you. Keep your options open.

By moving in together within the first month, we both took a lot on. I took on the new responsibility of not only getting used to living with him but also being introduced to his children. In addition, he doubled his commuting time, which added more stress to the plate.

If we had taken our time, things wouldn’t have fallen apart so quickly as they did. We both needed time to adjust to our new roles, which we didn’t do. Remember: dating is a time for fun, not for seriousness.

4. You choose to be with someone who is in a financially different situation.

Make sure that you are both in a financial situation that you can do fun stuff together.

Because he was paying for his kids and didn’t earn a huge pay check, this limited what we could do with our time together. I really wanted to travel a lot more, so when I did, I would travel on my own as he had other financial commitments. If he did travel with me, I would willingly pay for him.

However, men being men, he wanted to pay and this would frustrate him, and also frustrate me that he couldn’t. If our income and financial situations had been similar, we wouldn’t have had this problem.

5. You spend very little quality time together.

Make sure you make time for the relationship when you are dating. This may sound really obvious, but you would be surprised at how “life” can get in the way, especially if he has kids.

This one was a big one for us both as he worked night shifts, making it challenging to see each other. Also, most weekends he wanted to see the children, which meant there were weekends we spent apart.

It’s normal that he prioritized the children. I wouldn’t have expected anything less, but it definitely put a spanner in the works for us to just enjoy our time.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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10 Things That Make a Man Fall Head Over Heels in Love With You

If you have stumbled upon this article, I assume you must already be falling hard and fast in love with a man.

Am I right?

If you are, then you might also be fervently praying for your love to get reciprocated. But Wait! How do you go about that?

Is it possible to make a man fall in love with you? You would be thrilled to know, but yes, you absolutely can.

You don’t have to be a psychology graduate to apply these psychological tricks in which you will basically put the idea of love into the subconscious mind of the person (yes! The one you are thinking of right now). Don’t get too excited already.

Patience; we will get to it but remember being original is the key. Don’t push things off the cliff. Apply these practical strategies, but do not overdo it or you might come off as a trickster. And you definitely don’t want these tips to backfire. Butts, boobs and all that is sexy, but there’s nothing that beats authenticity.

Once you get a grip on how the law of attraction works (and it doesn’t always work according to rules), you will be able to use it to your advantage.

Okay, let’s start.

How to make a man fall in love with you?

Here’s a 10 cheat-sheet on how to make a man catch feelings for you:

1. Eye contact

No doubt, you are transfixed on his charming smile and his wholesome face. You can’t have enough of him. And now you must be jumping with joy as all you have to do is eye-gaze at him. It’s not as easy and thrilling as it sounds as people often admit to finding it overwhelming to make eye contact with their love object.

Eye contact is a powerful way to stimulate love and affection. When two people look deeply, passionately into the eyes of each other their body produces a chemical called phenylethylamine that has been found to multiply the chances of making you fall in love.

Take about incredible scientific facts.

How does it work?

I am not asking you to sit across him and blankly stare into his eyes.

When you both are conversing, hold his gaze, for a few seconds. Bring about the empathetic look in your eyes like you are consciously present in the moment, completely engrossed in the conversation and is giving him the undivided attention he deserves. Give him the ‘thoughtful look’. Convey with your eyes that you care and are there for him.

This art is best applied with a number of other body languages (which we will discuss in the next point.)

2. Make use of body language to express yourself

Our bodies have the incredible power to subconsciously pick up very subtle stimuli from our surroundings which we are completely unaware of. These signs from your bodies convey and communicate messages with another person’s body. Visualize two bodies conveying secret messages without you having any clue.

How does it work?

When you are within his physical proximity, try to strike a conversation. While doing so, slightly lean forward if you are sitting across the table. Avoid stooping too low or behaving overtly seductively. Some people find it offending.

Gather your hair and set it to one side, exposing the tenderness of your neck. Pull back your sleeves and expose that wrist.

If you happen to sit beside him, make sure you slightly turn your body, pointing your feet towards his direction. Sit physically close to him, but take care not to make it look desperate.

This way you are intentionally displaying signs of attraction to instigate his brain to pick up the signal that you are genuinely interested in.

3. Divulge intimate details about yourself

Small talks are brief, easy and fun but a tad too superficial. Save those for casual flings at the bar. If you want your object of love to connect with you at a profoundly deep level (leading to love) you are to let the mess out.

Talk about your failures, your hurdles, and how you overcame them. Talk about topics that are of utmost significance to you and to him. Talk of loss and hope. Talk of pain and darkness. Do not fear to open those chambers of your hearts which have held the secret to your resilience and strength.

While there could be numerous topics of conversation, why choose to talk about our scarred parts?

How does it work?

It works on various degrees:

  • Talking to him about your intimate life experiences will reveal crucial details about your personality, about how you handle problems, what your value system is, your attitudes, about your weaknesses and strengths.
  • It helps enhance trust between you both.
  • It opens up grounds for him to reveal his share of life experiences and this helps you both to connect better, foster understanding and create moments to cherish.
  • Doing so, you come off as a simple-minded, genuine person because you are sharing vulnerable details about yourself.

4. Actively listen to him when he speaks

There is nothing sexier than a person who actually devotes her undivided attention to you when you are talking about something close to your heart. On the contrary, there is no better turn-off than someone who interrupts you every time you speak, distracting you and setting you off the track. Hijacking conversation is utterly disrespectful.

How does it work?

Active listening involves a listener to acutely focus on the speakers changing behavior and body language which in turn greatly enhances the quality of communication.

Nod slightly in agreement with what he says. Hold brief eye contact when required (comfort through your eyes “I am here to understand and your words will be safe with me”.).
This technique not only involves listening skills but also the skill to express your emotions aligned to the other person’s. When you listen with your body, when you listen to understand, you are actually making this point home that you genuinely care to receive whatever he is confiding in you. This provides a sense of being understood.

Practice this technique and see how it works wonders.

5. Hold his hand

Yes, definitely as a romantic gesture and sometimes in a platonic sense of care. Touch (not the ones that kindle lust) can portray feelings in a very subtle manner without overbearing him.

How does it work?

Hold his hand in a manner that covers his entire palm, keeping the pressure moderate. It should illustrate the fact that you are taking the responsibility to care, protect and stick to him through thick and thin alike. Hold his hand, look into his eyes and send across a smile of reassurance and witness him melt like a popsicle.

6. Let him miss you

Oh! The pangs of separation. Making a man fall in love also involves making him realize your value. Always clinging on to him, giving the best of yourself and making him the center of your world might spoil things. Such actions show you are desperate to have him in your life and that you are emotionally dependent.

He will tend to take you for granted unless you balance between your availability and unavailability.

How does it work?

Make yourself scarce. Show up, but not always and not immediately. Let him miss you before you reach out to him. If he texts you, do not reply to him right away. Let him dial your number. Do not pick up even if you are dying to talk to him. Let it ring for a while.

If he wants to meet you, do so but not by adjusting your schedule. Let him wait for the exclusively amazing person that you are.

7. Cook for him

This is a major turn-on for boys; something that he might carry in his heart for the rest of his life.
Andrea Miller, the CEO of Yourtango has to say, “We were thrilled to discover that almost 80% of people felt preparing a meal for someone is a significant act of love!”
Every single word of the saying ‘A way to a man’s heart is through his stomach’ is true.

Don’t believe me? See it for yourself.

How does it work?

By now you must be knowing what the foodie in him craves for. If it happens to be your favorite food too, what are you waiting for? Make the meal and share it with him. Don’t forget to have fun while you both relish the dish. Also, don’t miss out on the look of appreciation in his eyes.

You are almost in!

8. Be humorous

Have your funny side up. Being too serious all the time might get him into the shell. Frequently take things lightly and have a good laugh with him. Make him laugh. Men love women who have a funny bone and don’t scare away from having a hearty laugh.

How does it work?

The only rule to have fun is to have no rules. Open yourself up. Don’t be hesitant to portray your authentic self. Your ability to crack intellectual jokes shows that you are smart and also gives you both a chance to make merry.

Brownie point:  You look a zillion times better when you smile.

9. Spend time with him

This goes without saying. The more time you spend with him, the more you are exposed to him. Meet him in person whenever possible. This strengthens the emotional bond more than spending time talking over the phone or texting each other.

How does it work?

Try making the time you spend with him worthwhile. Avoid discussing conflictual topics. Talk about positive, and refreshing things. You could tell each other stories of your childhood and also listen to his stories.

Spending memorable times with him works like pavlovian conditioning. The next time he sees you, he will cheer up, not knowing why he so.

But you know what you did there! *wink wink*

10. Communicate your feelings

Men love things to be straight across their faces. They hate to be left guessing.
So if you are cultivating his thoughts in your mind, let him know it. But avoid going overboard with the expression.

How does it work?

Make it obvious that you are interested in him, more than casually. Compliment him on his attire, on his qualities and appreciate him for his achievements. Mention his name while you do so. The name makes it sound more intimate.

Like: 
“John, this shirt looks really great on you.”
“My God, John, you are so damn funny!”
“I must say, John, you did great at that concert.”

Bottom line.

While it’s obvious that love cannot be coaxed, but you sure can apply these tips to increase the chances of it. I hope and pray you to get the man you are thinking of to fall in love with you.

Let us know in the comments section about how you made your man fall in love with you. Happy loving.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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LOCKDOWN LOVE GUIDE From Sending Sexts to Webcam Dating… Here’s How to Find Love in Coronavirus Lockdown

WHEN the country went into lockdown, single people were left wishing they’d squeezed just one last date in – and I was among them.

I’ve been single on and off for seven years until I decided to start a six-month dating sabbatical last September.

 From sexting to webcam dating… here's how to find love in lockdown
From sexting to webcam dating… here’s how to find love in lockdown

I wasn’t to know then that when I’d reload the dating apps at the start of March, I wouldn’t make it on a date IRL for who knows how long. As the realisation sunk in, I felt deflated.

Living alone during Covid-19 lockdown was going to be lonely enough, so I decided I didn’t have to avoid dating altogether; I just had to change how I did it.

And while I can’t meet anyone in person for a while, I can line up some dates for when life returns to normal. I’m not alone in my thinking, either.

Dating app Bumble has seen a 35% increase in messages sent since social-distancing was introduced, with love app Hinge revealing 70% of its users are open to having a virtual date.

Here’s what you need to know about the new normal when it comes to finding love.

Lockdown do’s

UPDATE YOUR PROFILE: Now I have the time, I’m planning a refresh, complete with new selfies.

Research from Hinge says the profiles that get the most right swipes show people exercising, with friends or smiling, while sunglasses, beach photos and using filters are no-nos. Time to start sorting through your albums.

 Now's a better time than ever to update your dating profiles
Now’s a better time than ever to update your dating profilesCredit: Getty – Contributor

TRY A VIRTUAL DATE: It might feel a bit weird at first, but now’s the time to try video dating.

Reena, 35, from London, has had four virtual dates with a new man she thinks she’ll meet up with post-lockdown.

She says: “Video dates have been great and feel less pressured than real-life first dates. It’s been good to test the water via FaceTime before committing to an evening together.”

PLAN THE PERFECT (VIDEO) DATE OUTFIT: I’m the type of person who will plan a date look three days in advance, but how does this translate now?

Relationship expert Laura Yates says: “Even though you’re meeting online and your choice of outfit might now be more house-chic, it’s still important to feel good.

Approach a video date as you would a regular date and have fun planning an outfit you feel confident in.”

 Sexting's a great way to improve a bond with a new, or existing, partner
Sexting’s a great way to improve a bond with a new, or existing, partnerCredit: Alamy

SEND THAT SEXT: Sexting is perfect if you’ve met someone but won’t be meeting up with them for a while.

Harriet*, 29, from London, says sexting has helped her bond with her new partner.

“I started dating someone before lockdown,” she says. “But it was too soon to isolate together, so instead we’ve been sexting.

“It makes me feel more excited to see him in the future and it gives us something to do together as we don’t have busy lives to talk about right now.”

Lockdown don’ts

MESS PEOPLE AROUND: I’ve never ghosted anyone – and I’m not about to start.

As Laura explains: “We’re all feeling more vulnerable and anxious, so we need to be more conscious of one another’s feelings.

“Don’t date to curb boredom. See it through or hold off until you’re ready.”

 Messing people around is not a good way to go about this lockdown
Messing people around is not a good way to go about this lockdownCredit: Getty – Contributor

TEXT YOUR EX: Though it might be tempting, it’s not a good idea. “Regardless of what’s happening, it doesn’t change what caused your break-up.

“Your ex won’t have changed either,” Laura explains. “If they react in a way that causes you stress or anxiety, being on your own 24/7 will only exacerbate it.”

 

Tales of Rock – What was the Deal with Oingo Boingo’s ‘Little Girls’? Still the Creepiest Music Video of all Time.

In these hypersensitive times, even a controversial music video as artful as Sia’s ‘Elastic Heart’, which saw Shia LaBeouf wrestle in a brotherly way with dancer Maddie Ziegler, will lead to a full apology from the artist. But back in 1981, Grammy-winning composer Danny Elfman was manifesting unhinged visions no-one would dare post online in 2016.

At the time, he was part of new wave band Oingo Boingo, whose album Only a Lad and specifically the song ‘Little Girls’ has become a persistent internet oddity, racking up over 6 million YouTube views.

If you’ve never seen it/had it burned into your memory, watch it at your peril now:

 

Slightly mortified? Sorry. With lines like “They don’t care about my one-way mirror / They’re not frightened by my cold exterior” and the (hideously catchy) chorus hook, it’s a pretty disturbing song and video, imagining a predator living in a house seemingly designed by M.C. Escher and inhabited by voyeuristic dwarves in smart-casual attire. Several little girls visit, pillow fighting with the character, restraining him, kissing him and floating in some kind of void.

Was it some kind of Nabokovian exploration of paedophilia? Elfman was asked about the video at Comic Con in 2010.

HE SAID:

“What made me write it? At that point I was just grabbing onto things that popped up in my head and taking characters and singing from their point of view. So whether it be the right wing guy talking about capitalism or the feisty little girl or quasi molester – these were just things that I thought were funny or interesting and I would just kind of jump into the skin of. Often things I wrote were motivated by nothing but the newspaper. I’d read an article and be thinking about something and write a song from that perspective. So it didn’t necessarily reflect me…but it was just fun and I knew it was irreverent. I was out to offend everybody when I started out. Any subject matter I could find that would be offensive I was embracing, so that was just one.”

Elfman, who won a Grammy for the Batman score and an Emmy for Desperate Housewives’, doubled down on this in 2014 when he told The AV Club it wasn’t so much about writing “from the perspective of a paedophile” but dishing out an “in-your-face facetious jab”.

Only A Lad critiqued capitalism, but he also wanted to provoke the outraged left.

“I just basically make fun of everybody, and I didn’t see anybody as being protected from that,” he added.

“So even if my politics were left, I still would really mock political correctness and kind of organized left-wing politics as frequently as I would the right.

 

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