Don’t Be A “Covidiot”

Really? Really?

Don’t be a covidiot. That’s what we’re calling these folks who have been highlighted by their stupidity during this pandemic. It is insane to me that in this age of information there are still so many dumb people. It’s terrifying.

Educate yourselves, or you’re endangering yourself and others, and probably end up in one of these posts. Don’t be a covidiot!

1.

Emily Annette@EmilyAnnette6

At the grocery. Wearing my mask. Lady behind me, snarky & loud enough to make sure I heard, “don’t guess she realizes that stupid mask won’t do any good.” Me: “Honey, I’m an off duty nurse, I’m wearing it to protect YOU. But, I can take it off if you’d like.” She practically ran.

2. So, viruses can’t move sideways?

corona, virus, stupid people

3. All The Beans At My Local Grocery Store Are Out Except This One

corona, virus, stupid people

4.

Maria@kalltvatten

Someone’s rooftop party is about to get raided.

View image on Twitter

5. Just Your Typical Walmart Shopper

corona, virus, stupid people

6. Someone Tell Snorkel Lady That It Won’t Work

corona, virus, stupid people

7. If You Can’t Smell It, You Can’t Get It

corona, virus, stupid people

8. 5G —> Death = Science

9. This Guy Was Eating His Food Wearing The Same Gloves He’s Been Wearing Since He Walked In

corona, virus, stupid people

10. So, My Work Had A Meeting About The Importance Of Social Distancing Today

corona, virus, stupid people

11.

Ken Webster jr🇺🇸🌎@KenWebsterII

This woman is the Chair of the Congressional Coronavirus taskforce & this is how she wears her medical mask.

View image on Twitter

12. How To Put Your Mask Correctly

13. Social Gathering At St Kilda Beach Today

corona, virus, stupid people

14. How To Protect Yourself From Coronavirus

corona, virus, stupid people

15. To Shield The Face

corona, virus, stupid people

16.

Alex Fuller@boberfly

“Don’t worry those elevator buttons are fully protected from

View image on Twitter

17. I Don’t Think She Knows What “Quarantining” Means

corona, virus, stupid people

18. She’s Wearing A Mesh Bee Keeper Type Helmet. I’m Not Sure She Gets The Point

19. Ladies And Gentlemen, The President Of Our Meatpacking Plant While Talking About The Plant’s Safety Procedures During The Virus

corona, virus, stupid people

20. To Protect Against COVID-19

corona, virus, stupid people

21. It Was Painful Watching This Happen

22. Someone Brought These Bills To The Bank They Tried To Sanitize In The Oven

23. I Don’t Believe This Is Proper Glove-Wearing Protocol

corona, virus, stupid people

24. Wife Said To Wear A Mask In Public Areas?

25. There Was An Attempt To Use A Mask

corona, virus, stupid people

26. He’s A Little Confused But He Got The Spirit

27. Protesters Against Quarantine Back Again At The Ohio Statehouse

corona, virus, stupid people

28. Seen Today In The Atlanta Airport – Babies In Comforter Bags

corona, virus, stupid people

29. Wrong Type Of Napkin

30. A Group Of Friends Still Getting Together And Partying Regardless Of The Quarantine Rules. Obviously Standing Less Than 6 Feet Apart But It’s Okay Because They’re All Wearing Face Masks

31. You Touch 4 Doors Before The Time Clock. This Is How Management Is Protecting And Caring For Us

corona, virus, stupid people

32. My Local Albertsons Trying To Keep The Buttons Clean… I Don’t Think They Get It

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

5 Reasons Why Ditching A Toxic Relationship Is For The Best (Even If It’s Painful)

Letting go of love that hurts is often the best thing to do, for everyone involved!

Are you struggling with a toxic relationship and wondering if letting go of this painful love might be the right thing to do?

Sadly, leaving a toxic relationship is not always the easiest thing to do.

Does the thought of ending it fill you with pain and despair because you know how hard it will be to break away from your person?

Are you worried that if you leave this person, you will never love or be loved again?

Unfortunately, it is these thoughts that keep people in painful and toxic relationships.

However, you need to know that getting out of them, while painful, may the best chance you have at finding true love and happiness in your life.

How?

Here are 5 reasons why ditching a toxic relationship is for the best.

1. Toxic relationships are distracting.

A big reason why letting go of a painful love is essential if you want a good life is because being in a toxic relationship can make it hard to focus at work and in life.

How much time do you spend thinking about your relationship? Do you find it hard to concentrate at work because you are replaying the fight you had over the weekend?

Do you find yourself sitting in your car, wondering what would be next for you if you left your person, only to find that 20 minutes have passed and you had no idea?

Is getting dinner and helping with homework more than you can handle somedays because you are so preoccupied with the pain you are in?

Being in a toxic relationship can make it impossible to be present in your everyday life. Letting go of this love is exactly what you need to do before obsessing about it gets in the way of your job or your kids’ mental health.

2. You are not healthy.

In many ways, being in a toxic relationship is worse than pneumonia or the flu.

When you are deeply unhappy, your health will deteriorate. Your obsessive thoughts might keep you up nights and you might not be sleeping well.

Depression might be preventing you from getting outside and interacting with friends. You might be eating too much or too little, not nourishing your body the way you should.

If you are in a toxic relationship, one that is causing you nothing but pain, letting go might be exactly what you need to regain your health.

Imagine spending the rest of your life living with this unhealthy behavior? Can you imagine how that would feel? Not so good, I am guessing.

3. True love will be elusive.

If you are wasting your time staying in a toxic relationship because you fear the hurt that you will feel or the hurt that you will cause another person, know that staying in this relationship will guarantee that you will never find the person who will truly love you.

If every moment of your day is spent obsessing about how unhappy you are or how much you want out of this relationship, you will have no energy to put out to the world to attract happiness.

Instead you will attract nothing but darkness, because like attracts like.

And, obviously, if you are in a relationship, the chances of you finding another relationship are virtually zero.

It might be painful right now — and maybe for a while. But if you can get away from this toxic relationship, you have a much better chance of finding the love that you want and deserve.

4. It will be good for your person.

I remember back when I was married and was brutally unhappy, whenever I considered leaving my husband, one of my reasons was that it would be better for him if we were apart.

I knew that he was as unhappy as I was and I knew that if I could let him go, he would have a chance at true happiness. And me letting him go would be the best thing for him.

However, I couldn’t do it because the thought of him with someone else filled me with too much pain.

But, think about your person. You loved them once and might love them still.

Would the best thing for them to be out of this never-ending toxicity and be given a chance to be happy? Even if it’s painful for you, might it be the right thing for them?

Think about it.

5. You will get to know yourself again.

One of the best things about letting go of a painful love is that in doing so, you will get to know and love yourself again.

For many of us who have been in toxic relationships, whether short or long, we often lose a piece of ourselves.

I was in a relationship with a man for about a year. We loved each other very much but our relationship was fraught with issues.

I wanted to end it, but he wouldn’t let me go. So I kept on coming back to him, even if I knew it wasn’t good for me.

At the end of the year, I found that I was a shell of the person I was when we met.

A year of not taking care of myself, of being consumed with someone who wasn’t treating me well, of having my needs ignored, and debasing myself by staying had turned me into someone I couldn’t even recognize.

When I finally got the nerve to leave him — and stay away from him for good — I was finally able to get to know myself again.

I remembered that I was the kind of person who had a lot to give to the world and that there were a lot of people who loved me. I had forgotten about that person, and I was so glad to have her back.

Do you know who you are today? Wouldn’t you love to get to know, and love, yourself again?

Letting go of a painful love can be one of the hardest things that you can do.

Loving someone means you give your heart and your hope for the future over to another person. Unfortunately, love isn’t perfect and sometimes relationships just aren’t meant to be.

The benefits of leaving a toxic relationship will change your life for the better.

So, if your relationship is making you unhappy, it’s time to walk away.

If you do, you will get healthier, you will be able to focus again, and you will get to know yourself. Your person will be happier and you will be able to finally find true love.

How great would that be?

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

Why Men Pull Away & How To Make Him Chase You Again

And what you absolutely should not do if you want him back.

In today’s dating culture, things between two people often start out very well, and then suddenly, the connection begins evaporating into thin air.

You might be dating a guy right now who suddenly seems distant every time things seem to be going well between the two of you, leaving you to wonder if your relationship is doomed, or if there’s something you can do about it.

Understanding why men pull away after getting close will help you know how to respond to make him chase you again and get your relationship back on track.

The first thing to know is that the number one reason men pull away from good women they seemed to be falling in love with is fear.

Okay, but fear of what?

You were having so much fun together! You have so much in common and every date was full of laughter, flirtation, and those butterflies in your stomach.

Then, just when you believed you could really see this going somewhere, he began pulling away.

Now, he’s much harder to reach and he takes more time responding to your texts, and he’s rarely available to see you. When you do speak or see him, he seems distant, if not a bit cold, and you have no idea what happened or what you might have said to cause this shift.

Sometimes his fear has nothing to do with you at all but is based on negative experiences in his past.

These may be issues related to independence or insecurities.

He may simply be too emotionally immature to handle the depths of intimacy you were entering together.

Or he may still be worrying about issues from a previous relationship in which they didn’t share the same value. Or maybe she was never physically attracted to him or thought his personality was too over-the-top, and he’s concerned that you feel the same way.

Many men’s minds work a bit differently than women’s. Not to over-generalize, but men often have trouble pinpointing exactly what is that’s turning them off. What’s more, whatever it is might have nothing to do with you, and yet he genuinely may not be able to put his finger on what it is that drives him away.

Additionally, many men pull away because the idea of a serious relationship freaks them out, plain and simple.

This can be because of past heartbreak, insecurity stemming from childhood, or trauma. They may have once been taught or convinced they’re not good enough and have since struggled with allowing themselves to be vulnerable.

And sometimes, it’s simply because they realize they prefer to remain single and free.

So, is he scared of being tied down, or is he scared of being in love?

Some men pull away the moment they realize that they’re developing real feelings for you. Unfortunately, this can also happen at the very moment you’re realizing that you’re developing real feelings for them!

This fear of love happens because suddenly there are important stakes involved.

They begin worrying about potential outcomes of the relationship, and this affects their behavior. They become nervous, which leads to uncomfortable feelings of vulnerability many people don’t know how to handle.

At the same time, you may have begun fantasizing about your future together.

In doing so, you become more attached to the happy outcomes you hope for and begin feeling anxious at the thought of losing out on your dream now that it feels so close. As a result, you’re no longer in the present moment of getting to know him, fixating instead on how he feels about you — and this will affect your behavior around him.

Generally speaking, people don’t react positively to shifts from spending time with someone who has a fun, charming personality to being with someone who always seems to be searching for reassurance.

When you recognize someone that you really like — someone who makes you feel good — it’s normal to want to latch on. This often happens without you even realizing it, but it changes your vibe.

Guys can pick up on this.

He might not be able to pinpoint what it is exactly, but he might begin thinking of you as clingy. When a guy feels you’re trying too hard to make things official and tie him down, he might panic and pull away.

How should you respond to a man who’s pulling away and even appears on the verge of ghosting you?

When you’re still in the seduction phase with someone, the most important thing is holding onto your self-confidence.

Confidence is key, and here’s why:

  • If you want to seduce a man with whom you’d like to construct a solid relationship, you’ve got to highlight your true personality. Too many people make the mistake of playing a role in order to make someone fall for them, and it always backfires because as soon as the other person realizes you weren’t being genuine.
  • Being truly confident keeps you safe from appearing to be needy or clingy, which are characteristics that may cause someone to run for the hills, especially if it’s early in a budding relationship.

Here are three steps to take when you notice him pulling away:

1. Focus on yourself

When a man pulls away, your first line of action is switching your focus away from him and back to the task of creating and living the life of your dreams. Make headway on your professional projects and goals. Go to the gym and get those endorphins flowing. Spend time having fun with your friends. Try new things.

And, of course, don’t be afraid to post pictures or status updates on Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat about all the fantastic things you have going on in your life. Stop reaching out to him quite as much, and give him the opportunity to wonder what you’re up to.

Social media can be an incredible tool for presenting yourself in a positive light — just be sure the light you’re presenting yourself in is authentic.

People who are living life to the fullest and are happy with themselves leave a lasting impression, and that’s exactly what you want to do with your new, if currently distant, love interest!

2. Make yourself less accessible

You need to be a challenge. Instead of obsessing on why he doesn’t seem as interested as he did, make sure he sees images of you and how life with you would be that make it practically impossible for him to resist. You don’t have to cut ties and disappear, but reach out to him less and make him wonder where you’ve gone. Don’t ignore his messages, but let him make the first move more often than you do.

By the way, this isn’t something you should stop doing once your relationship gets back on track. The way to make a man fall in love and stay in love with you is by maintaining a fantastic life he longs to be part of.

3. Let him know where you stand

Men who pull away aren’t used to being called out on this type of behavior. In fact, no one is. That’s why we see so much ghosting in the realm of dating and relationships today.

As you embark on your mission of staying busy building your self-esteem and living your best life, text him something like this:

“Hey, it feels like you’re a bit unsure of what you want right now. It’s totally fine, but I’m going to take some distance.”

You don’t have to use these words verbatim, but avoid adding anything like, “So let me know when you’re free, because I’d love to see you again!”

Ending your message like this would put all the power back in his hands. You want to assert yourself with him while also reminding yourself that you are in control of what happens in your own life.

By texting him a message like this, you’re not trying to play detective or figure out what’s going on, you’re just stating the obvious. So be careful with your wording and make sure not to phrase things in a way that gives away your power. All you’re doing is reminding him you don’t need him and making sure he knows you aren’t going to wait around.

Men, just like women, find the opposite of clingy behavior extremely attractive.

Now that you know what you should do when he pulls away, what should you not do?

The more he pulls away, the closer you’ll want to get. When your last twenty text messages and phone calls were left on read or unanswered, you’ll want to keep trying until you finally get a response.

It’s understandable that his distance feels so incredibly frustrating. You’ve been spending so much time together, and now it’s not even a breakup — just sheer, utter and unexplained solitude — but you have to control yourself,

Whatever you do, do not blow up this person’s phone! Give him space and avoid initiating conversations for a while.

If you want the chance to get the ball rolling on a relationship with him again, avoid making these common mistakes:

  • Do not harass him. Harassing him won’t do any good. Sometimes, it isn’t even communication you really want; it’s just a response. But nobody wants to talk to someone who makes them feel suffocated. Let some time pass before reaching out again.
  • Don’t spy on him. And please don’t send your friends to spy on him either, or worse, try to get information out of him for you.
  • Don’t put him on a pedestal. It’s normal to forget about someone’s flaws when you’re missing them, but don’t fool yourself into thinking he’s any better or more worthy than you are. Focus on yourself right now.
  • Don’t ask his friends about him. Word travels, you know.

It’s important to not allow your emotions to make you act in a disrespectful manner toward the person you have your eye on.

Above all, the fact that he isn’t picking up should never result in you insulting or threatening him.

You may feel overwhelmed by the desire to tell them everything that’s on your mind that you find it hard to control how the words comes out, but you don’t want to wind up in this type of situation. Making this kind of irreparable mistake may give him a real reason to never contact you again.

Despite your frustration, it’s essential to keep your cool and not blow up at him. And when you do speak, stay focused on keeping the dialogue constructive.

Making it through this period will require a lot of patience from you, but you’ll be fine.

Filling your schedule and saying busy will help you keep things in perspective.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

Why Anxiety Increases Sex Drive In Some People

It’s all about emotions and attachment.

Have you ever received bad news, and all you’ve wanted to do was have sex? Or, perhaps sex is literally the last thing you want to do when you have anxiety?

As a sex therapist trained in affect-focused therapy, I know that emotions, anxiety, and sex are connected. Here’s why sometimes they mix — and  sometimes they don’t.

What exactly are emotions?

Emotions are basic evolutionary processes that have developed to keep us alive. They act like compasses, telling us what our needs are in all situations.

In their rawest state, feelings have specific purposes. And if we listen to them and do what they’re telling us to do —  we feel better.

Positive feelings usually urge us toward connection with others, whereas negative ones work to keep us safe.

Generally speaking, negative emotions such as worry and fear dampen our sex drive because their prime goal is to save us from potential threats.

Hormones are spurred by emotions.

When something dangerous happens, like someone pointing a gun to our head, our body springs into action, creating the stress hormone cortisol, getting us ready to fight, flee, or freeze.

This is a good thing, because getting horny when someone wants to pop our head off, could potentially lead to our death.

The thing is though, worry and fear can also be ignited by things that aren’t actually dangerous  —  at least, not on a physiological level.

These are all examples of situations our brain might perceive as a real threat:

  • Our partner making advances in bed
  • A big presentation at work
  • An erection that suddenly falters

If sex has turned into a stressful duty where you feel the need to perform by having a long-lasting erection or multiple orgasms , worry and fear will inhibit our libido.

Can emotions affect your sex drive? Most definitely.

For most of us, negative emotions put a damper on our libido.

Meanwhile, for others, worry, fear, and anxiety can drive them toward sex  as opposed to away from it.

And this has a lot to do with their attachment styles and patterns.

Attachment styles inform how our sex drive responds to negative emotions.

Your attachment pattern affects your relationships. And to understand why some people prefer to screw away their anxiety ,  you need to know what attachment is.

Attachment, just like our emotions, is a basic human drive developed to ensure we bond with our babies and, thus ,  take care of them.

Our attachment patterns differ, depending on the quality of the bond established with our primary caregivers.

The quality not only affects our relationship with our parents  but  it also governs how we relate to other people in the future , romantically or otherwise.

Secure versus insecure attachment patterns.

Roughly speaking, a secure attachment pattern leads to more balanced, healthy relationships, whereas an insecure attachment pattern leads to more issues in our relationships and, sometimes, more sexual problems, too.

One of the two insecure attachment patterns that can be developed in early childhood — that can lead to a higher sex drive — is the anxious-preoccupied attachment pattern.

This pattern emerges as a response to a home-environment with emotional inconsistency.

Perhaps our parents showered us with love and attention at random; sometimes meeting our emotional needs and other times minimizing or ignoring them.

When our primary caregivers are inconsistent and unpredictable we develop clinginess as a means of getting the love and attention we as a species so desperately crave.

As toddlers, this meant we needed to scream loudly in order to have our needs met, or cling to our parents’ bodies in order for them to hear us.

And so this pattern continues into adulthood.

We meet someone we fancy and we latch on quickly, clinging to them to receive confirmation and feel loved. One of the prime ways we receive this validation and affection  is through sex.

Why does an anxious-ambivalent attachment pattern increase sex drive?

There are several reasons an anxious-ambivalent attachment pattern can create a ferocious appetite for sex. One of them is that society holds sex in a relationship in high regard.

We equate sex with love and therefore, to have sex is to, literally, “make love.”

This pairing of sex and love is perhaps best seen in our western society’s quest for “the one” and our goal of life-long monogamy.

The whole concept of monogamy is that all of our wants and desires are replenished by this one person.

However, it also means if we’re not satisfied by our partner or if we even desire another person sexually, there’s something wrong with us.

And because of the monogamous ideal and the way it links sex and love ,  sex serves as one of the ultimate ways of getting close and feeling cared for.

It can validate us and make us feel like we’re truly seen  —  no matter what attachment pattern we possess.

But, especially, for those of us who are anxious-ambivalent, sex can be the fastest route to feeling valued by our partners.

On the flip side, this means not having sex can be construed as a sign that our relationship is over or our partner has fallen out of love with us.

In order for this not to happen, our attachment pattern drives us toward a higher libido, trying to ensure our relationship’s survival. And, in a more philosophical sense , our own.

By having sex with our partner, we’re safeguarding ourselves from being left on our own ,  the way we felt when our primary caregivers were emotionally inconsistent.

Our sex drive isn’t only sparked by society’s views of sex.

It’s also ignited by the emotions and states that are triggered by our attachment pattern — worry and anxiety.

When we’re anxious-ambivalent, we might suffer more from regular worry and anxiety because relationships, in and of themselves, trigger it.

Sex can be a great way to regulate negative emotions.

The cortisol coursing through our veins doesn’t dampen our drive, as it does for most people who have a secure attachment pattern — it amps it.

Regulating emotions through sex doesn’t have to be a negative thing. In fact, a lot of people, feel like it’s a great way of dealing with difficult feelings.

The problem arises when you feel the only way to relieve anxiety, stress, or worry   is through sex.

Without any other strategies to regulate negative feelings, sex can turn into a compulsive act. Be it through masturbation or having sex with a partner or two.

So, when asking yourself if emotions can affect your sex drive, it’s important to take both feelings and attachment patterns into consideration.

Everyone’s libido is affected by their emotions.

For those who have an anxious-ambivalent attachment pattern, sexual desire can be ramped up by negative emotions and for those who are securely attached, they shut it down.

It’s all completely normal. You’re completely normal.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

If You’re Wondering What a Good Guy Looks Like, Here’s a Pretty Good Image of One

In this age of trifling guys and liars and pretenders, recognizing who is truly real may be a little difficult.

People complain these days of how difficult relationships have become. There’s so much fakeness out there that it’s difficult to know who the real ones are, and the effect of this, for people who desire realness and authenticity, is that choosing becomes a little more difficult.

Before and on the very brink of choosing, people still nurse the fear that things may go wrong, and that they may get burnt sometime in the relationship.

This actually perfectly justified. In this age of trifling guys and liars and terrible cheats and pretenders, recognizing who is deeply real may be a little difficult.

This is why we have helped with a list of the things to watch out for when judging a guy’s character and suitability to the kind of relationship you crave; the type that’s long-lasting and satisfying on all fronts.

So, here goes, how to know he’s a good guy and [maybe] deserves a chance with you.

1. Pays attention to you

If he’s sensitive enough to pick when you’re excited, happy, unhappy and all that, he surely knows one great thing about making a woman happy.

2. Supports your dreams

A good guy is listening to your business proposal, sitting front row at your performances, promoting your side hustle on social media and most importantly, believing in you when you don’t believe in yourself.

3. He knows that love is an action

I love you is easily said but not easily shown over an impressive period of time.

Good guys understand this and make sure that you can see and feel that they love you, not just hear it.

They do this by constantly putting in the required energy [sometimes, this could be something as simple as letting you sleep while they pick up some of your chores.] to make the relationship tick.

4. Inspires you to be better

If his lifestyle inspires you to be better, to step up your game in work, paying attention to your health, etc, you may have found the one.

5. Specialist in little things

Anyone with enough money can buy expensive gifts. And while they are not unimportant, they’ll still rank lowly compared to the little things that count most.

6. An emotional guy

These days everyone wants to form hard guy. The result of which is an increase in the number of guys bottling in feelings, refusing to process emotions, come to terms with them and express them in the right manner.

Openly expressing genuine feelings and emotions seems scarcer than ever among guys, and it’s toxic because it creates a lack of balance.

A woman wants to hear just as much as she wants to see, she wants to be told how a guy feels about her as much as possible.

Refusing to do this deprives her of the right level of energy that she would have gotten from those reassuring words and display of emotions.

So how do you know you have a good guy on your hands? He is completely open with how he feels about you at all times.

7. Respectful

Respectful in the sense of not undermining you just because you are a woman or feeling bigger by virtue of his own gender. That actually counts.

A good guy is respectful to you even when it’s difficult to be. For example, when you are having a fight or when he’s pissed off.

Finding a guy who understands your idea of respect and never crosses the line into disrespect is such a great thing. And when he also happens to extend this courtesy to family and friends, you should know he’s a good one.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

Sun Stories: Skyler – Saving Grace

Skylar said it was okay to use her real name and photo, so here she is! So cute!

I saw Skyler come into the salon a few times with her roommate and was immediately intrigued by her.

Attractive, calm, and new to the city. She was attending UArts College for Illustration.

But there was something about this simple girl from New Jersey, and her floppy T-shirts and shorts.

Her hair was chocolate and wavy. Her eyes, green and lovely.

She was probably 5’2″ and 100 lbs. A slight figure that I felt had great power in her.

I remembering her coming in on a regular basis before Memorial Day to get her base on for the holiday.

I would be running around the salon, cleaning beds and doing laundry and she had become a regular.

But there was something about her that gave me a good vibe.

At 19, for some reason, I could feel and artistic old soul about this girl.

I wanted to meet her. Get to know her for some unknown reason.

I mean, she is beautiful, but it was different. She’s younger than my daughter. It’s not like that. I just felt that this girl had a certain something that was different.

And really it was just her sitting on the bench waiting to tan with her friend. I would walk by and we would exchange the friendly glances I do with all of my clients at the salon.

I needed to figure out what was going on with the vibe, so I approached her one day when she came out of the stand up in 4.

“Skyler, do you only do stand ups?”

“Yea. I feel it gets me the most tan.”

“You’re right. It’s 230 watts of power for 9 minutes, so, good call.”

“Yea. I go to UArts and live in Philly now but I’m from Jersey so I’m used to go tanning. But it’s so much more expensive over there than here, an you have better beds.”

“We have the best equipment and the best prices in the city.”

“Yea, your stand ups are awesome.”

(I’m just happy to be chatting with her) “If you ever want to try a lay down I’ll put you in a premium bed just to check it out.”

This is a thing I do for girls I like. It usually results in them spending more money and upgrading to a more expensive package and the company makes more money. I’m all about the sales, but it always starts with a taste.

“Okay, sounds, good. I’ll try it. Thanks. hey, are you hiring?”

(I’m delighted.)

“We’re always looking for good people, Skyler. Eileen is leaving for the summer, and I may not be here as much due to some other responsibilities, so yes.”

“Okay, well you have my number. Let me know.”

We go to the control room together and I verify her info. I already like her. I already had a good vibe about this girl. It seems natural.

People apply all of the time. Achilles and I have sawed through so many shitty employees, but we’ve had some good ones.

But I’ve been here for two and a half years and I can pick them.

Achilles just wants to work 10 to 3pm and bolt.

Everything else is me. I manage the part time staff.

It’s been glorious this season. Great girls that never call out and work when they are scheduled, and do a spectacular job all the while he’s reaping in money.

I love Amelia and Eileen. They’re both spectacular.

But tonight, Amelia is serving her country with a one weekend a month with the United States Air Force. Eileen is at a Sorority event.

I get it. Theses ladies have stuff they have to do in their young lives.

Last week I worked alone on a Thursday and Friday and it was no problem.

It’s Thursday this week and for some reason since 3pm I am being run over by clients.

I’m getting killed and I don’t know why.

Could this be the final crazy tanning frenzy of the season?

I have no idea. We’re busier than we’ve ever been and are making more money than we ever have.

That’s our goal and that’s what I do at this salon.

But last week I could handle it for Thursday and Friday by myself without the girls.

But tonight, I am literally being run over by clients. I am overwhelmed. It’s awful. I’m the best but… I can’t.

Skyler walks in.

“You said you wanted to work here 2 days ago. Can you work tonight?”

“Yea. Can I tan first?”

“Absolutely.”

Little Skyler goes tanning in a stand up and then proceeds to grab a towel and a spray gun and clean every bed in the house.

I have never taken a risk like this, but after two and a half years, I knew Achilles would be cool with it. (He just doesn’t want to deal with any bullshit)

I teach her how to clean the beds and let her run with that.

Here’s this 19-yr-old girl running around the salon wiping sweat off of sun beds like a champ.

I’ve been saved by this young lady.

At the end of the night I handed her $45 cash for her shift. (She hasn’t been hired and Achilles knows nothing about her)

I was like… screw it. We got run over. You saw the money and profits. I had no staff. Pay her. Hire her. I need Skyler.

Where is my beloved Amelia, and Eileen?

I really have a great vibe already from this girl, and the timing is right, so I’m just going to go with karma at this point.

Skyler who I saw as someone and is now someone in my life.

That means so much to me, because I can identify the good ones so fast now.

It was one of our busiest nights ever, and Skylar jumped in at a moments notice and saved the day.

So Skylar took the initiative and was hired immediately because of her initiative.

2018 has been the year of great hires at this salon.

She’s happy to be here, and I love working with her. I love training her. She’s eager to learn and ready to work.  I’m delighted with this sudden hire

She’s wearing a Grateful Dead t Shirt and shorts.

It’s fine for the salon. No one cares about dress code at the salon. But Skyler has lovely legs and if she wears shorts everyday, that’s fine. It’s a tanning salon and we’re all about skin.

So, my new hire! I was run over. She wanted to work here. I was getting destroyed on a Thursday. She showed up to tan. I asked her to work, she did. she was amazing.

Skyler saved me.

Now she’s an employee.

My hire!

 

​Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly