Breaking Up With Your Partner While Social Distancing Might Be Your Only Option

Adversity has a way of making or breaking relationships, highlighting problems, and pushing couples to their limits. Now, imagine adding the pressure of being unable to walk away from someone while your relationship is under duress, or taking the space you need to think through your conflict. If you’re considering breaking up with your partner while social distancing, isolation may have lead to the realization that you and your SO are not in it for the long-haul. And you’d rather end the relationship than spend one more second listening to each other chew, even if you’re currently stuck together.

Karla, 26, tells phicklephilly that social distancing took her relationship from casual to serious overnight, and it ended up being a dealbreaker. “Everything was great — we were going on day trips and playing board games and meeting each other’s friends,” she says. “Then, all of a sudden, coronavirus anxiety began, and we went from getting to know each other to date.”

After a couple days of cohabitation, I couldn’t stand him.

While self-isolating as a unit sounded like a good idea at first, Karla quickly realized she wasn’t ready for a live-in partner. Instead of enjoying their company, she felt overwhelmed and annoyed, craving privacy. “It was so much so fast,” she says, “and after a couple days of cohabitation, I couldn’t stand him.”

Eventually, she decided to call things off, and the two parted ways. “Had this not happened, we would’ve still been getting to know each other and having our distance while still enjoying each other’s company,” Karla says. “There’s a time and place for everything, and this just came far too soon for such a young relationship.”

Outside of a global pandemic, any number of drastic changes to your everyday routine has the potential to become a relationship stressor — starting a new job, moving to a new place, adjusting to a new schedule. When you’re already negotiating the chaos of an overwhelming shift in your day-to-day life, small problems can feel like big ones.

“As people #flattenthecurve, we may be forced to spend considerably more time with each other,” Danni Zhang, psychologist and managing director of New Vision Psychology, previously told phicklephilly. “It’s not uncommon for one person in a relationship to start thinking of getting out of said relationship.” Zhang emphasizes the importance of weighing whether you’re experiencing a dead-end or weathering temporary stress.

“Coronavirus has run the gamut of emotions in our relationship over the last couple of weeks,” Danielle, 33, tells Bustle. She and her husband of five years made it halfway through the second week of social distancing together, before they needed to establish a few quarantine rules in order to keep the peace.

The two made an agreement that, at least once a week, they’d part ways and enjoy a little alone time — relaxing in separate rooms, going for solo walks, and cooking alone for a much-needed respite. “Communicating how we are feeling without judgment has also been very important,” Danielle says. “Even though we are together, having time and space of our own is necessary, and allows that time together to be more valued.”

For couples on edge, Zhang suggests listing out the reasons why you love your partner in order to shift attention away from their habits that have got you on edge. But not all couples feel the investment is worth digging in their heels. Once they got a glimpse into their future together, they were ready to jump ship — even if that only meant moving from the bedroom to the couch.

“I’m fairly certain living together too soon was what pushed us to break up,” Karla says.

 

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6 Things Single Women Need To Do To Break Toxic Dating Habits (So You Can Have A Healthy Relationship)

Everything you need to know to quit toxic relationships with the same type of guy…

Many single women want to find love and have a strong desire to share their life with someone.

You may wonder why you keep getting into toxic relationships with the wrong men, asking yourself, “What am I doing wrong in dating?”

Healthy relationships seem to make life better and give the little things more meaning. It’s understandable to want a companion to laugh and cry with through life’s adventures, to wake up hearing the words “I love you.”

You may know in your heart of hearts that a relationship would greatly enhance the quality of your life.

But what do you need to do to get serious about having a healthy relationship?

If you’re not truly ready for a new relationship, you run the risk of falling into another unhealthy relationship.

So, how will you be sure that you don’t do just repeat toxic dating patterns with the wrong men?

Here are 6 things single women need to do to stop repeating toxic dating patterns with same type of guy — and enjoy a healthy relationship that lasts.

1. Be honest about your relationship experience.

Single women who are ready for love know what they want — and what they absolutely don’t want — in a relationship.

Many times, they’ve had enough experience with toxic relationships that didn’t work out to know that they want a healthy relationship that lasts.

2. You don’t just want new love — you want the right love.

A good sign that you’re ready for new love is when you’re happy single and okay being alone, but want to find the right partner to share your life with.

3. Be willing to put yourself out there and take a risk …

Even if in your heart you’re ready to find new love, you still may not know where to look for a potential mate. You also realize that you can’t be certain you won’t start dating the wrong man again.

Are you willing to take the risk?

4. … But you’re not willing to repeat the same mistakes.

Single women who are ready for a healthy relationship tend to feel strongly about not repeating the same mistakes.

You won’t settle for investing precious time and energy into another toxic relationship with the wrong type of guy — that never lasts. Been there, done that.

5. Get to know — and love — yourself before falling for someone new.

Before you begin dating or commit to a new relationship, it’s essential that you understand all the unique aspects of who you are.

Taking the time to gain clarity about your personality and pinpointing what you want in life prepares you for finding new love and forming healthy relationships that stand the test of time.

6. Live life based on your own goals, values, and vision.

This might be the first time you become familiar with yourself and begin to prize living your life based on your own values, goals, and life vision.

This shift in perspective is significant on so many levels, but primarily because it represents a core understanding that finding your “dream relationship” begins with you — from the inside out.

You will never find a partner who will love, respect and cherish you until you first feel the same way about yourself. Taking this time to get relationship-ready will prevent you from falling back into repeating toxic relationship and dating patterns that have not worked for you in the past.

Follow these tips and you will be well on your way to finding new love with the right man and fulfilling your desire to be in a successful, healthy relationship!

 

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If Your Partner Keeps Your Relationship A Secret, Here’s What It Means

If your partner keeps your relationship as private as their “Close Friends” list, it can be hard to find a balance in how open you are about your relationship. Whether they’ve always been on the shyer side or just prefer to keep things low-key, your SO may not be one for PDA or giant group gatherings. However, if you’ve been seeing someone for a while and still haven’t met any of their friends and family, you may start to wonder if your partner is keeping your relationship a secret.

After a few months of dating (or a few years, like Marianne and Connell on Hulu’s Normal People), you may start to wonder why you haven’t been invited out with your partner’s friends or to their weekly family dinner. But even if your sister or best friend may have met their partner’s friends two weeks into dating, Dr. Joshua Klapow, Ph.D., clinical psychologist, says there’s no set timeline for going “public” with a relationship.

“It’s not time as much as the depth of the relationship,” Dr. Klapow tells Bustle. “It should be feeling management versus time management.”

According to Dr. Klapow, there’s no magic number or set rulebook on when you’re “supposed” to meet the people in your partner’s life. Like all “next steps” in a relationship, you get to make your own timeline, based on whatever you’re feeling. Of course, if you’re upset or annoyed that you haven’t met your partner’s friends, Dr. Klapow says it’s time to check in.

Hulu

“If you are ready [to be public] and they are not, it’s important to ask about it,” Dr. Klapow tells Bustle. “It may be a great chance to understand more how they feel about you and address some miscommunications.”

According to Dr. Klapow, there could be many reasons why your boo is keeping your relationship on the down-low. Maybe they’ve been through some messy breakups and are extra cautious about who they let in on their love life. Perhaps they have super nosy friends and like to ease in when it comes to introducing new people. They might be worried that their roommates will make a tactless joke or embarrassed about their family’s political or cultural beliefs.

On the other hand, they may also be feeling a little nervous about your relationship or not really sure what they want moving forward. Regardless, there’s no way to know why your partner hasn’t introduced you to people until you flat-out ask them about it.

“The real test here is how well do the two of you communicate about these issues,” Dr. Klapow says. “Tell your partner that you care about them, you want to meet their family and friends, and you believe it’s time.”

While it can feel intimidating to confront your boo, it’s important to openly address your feelings. When you try to “play it cool” or act like something doesn’t bother you, you’ll likely end up feeling resentful and more confused. “Dancing around the topic and not addressing it straight on sends mixed messages,” Dr. Klpaow says. “The more you push this to the side, the bigger the issue it is going to become.”

If you’re unsure how to start the convo, Dr. Klapow suggests asking your partner what their concerns or holdups are. Whether they’re nervous that you won’t like their friends or feeling unsure about where your relationship is headed, being transparent about your needs is the only way to guarantee that you and your boo are on the same page.

 

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17 Questions To Ask Your Partner During Quarantine To Fight Off Boredom

If the anxiety stoked by the coronavirus wasn’t stressful enough, you’re probably also dealing with the pesky boredom of quarantine life. At the beginning of the pandemic, more time to read, relax, and be creative probably felt like an unexpected gift. But after awhile, the endless rounds of learning TikTok dances, baking bread, and watching Instagram Lives can start to feel monotonous. A meaningful way to mix up your routine is to reconnect with loved ones — DM old pals, jump on Houseparty with your crew, call your grandma, and spend time asking your partner thoughtful questions during quarantine.

It’s easy to forget that feeling bored during a pandemic is a privilege. Thousands of essential workers are still risking their lives to keep society afloat. So if you find yourself looking for ways to pass the time, try to make the most of it. Depending on your circumstances, you might be hanging out your SO via FaceTime, or you might be quarantining together. Whichever scenario you find yourself in, the following questions can help you get to know each other a little better. They can serve as insightful conversation-starters, and prime opportunities for you and your partner to feel more connected.

1. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?

2. What would you do if you won $1,000,000 right now?

3. Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

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4. If you could write a letter to your younger self, what would you say?

5. What’s something you want to do that we’ve never done before?

6. If you could change one thing about your childhood, what would it be?

7. When is the last time you cried?

8. If you could visit anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

9. When did you know you were in love with me?

10. What’s your favorite thing about me?

11. If you could have dinner with one person, dead or alive, who would it be?

12. What’s something that no one else knows about you?

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13. What is the most vulnerable you’ve been in our relationship?

14. What’s the most valuable thing you’ve learned from your ex?

15. What are the three things you’d save if your apartment caught on fire?

16. What’s one thing you want to cross off your bucket list as soon as social distancing is over?

17. What accomplishment are you most proud of?

Not only can these questions help keep you and your partner engaged during quarantine, but they can also help you get to know each other more intimately and intentionally in the process. Who knows? You might even end up emerging from this crisis a stronger couple than you were before.

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These are 5 Top Signs of Fake Love in a Relationship

To really know that the love in your relationship is genuine or not, here are some of the signs to look out for.

Is the love in your relationship real, or fake?

If it is, all you should do is keep growing the love, keep staying truthful to each other, keep drinking a lot of water, and just keep treating each other in all the good ways that will allow the relationship thrive further.

On the flipside, fake love is not something anyone would want to live with. Sadly, it is exactly what some people have in their relationships. If the relationship is based on anything different from a genuine willingness to see the other person flourish in every sense of the word, if it is based on something fleeting and temporary, then it is likely fake.

To really know that the love in your relationship is fake, here are some things you may want to watch out for:

1. They’re emotionally distant

In a relationship, fakers have a tendency to be non-communicative. They’ll provide little to no substance to what’s going on in their life. They’ll also make excuses why they “couldn’t” communicate especially when it is a little difficult to do so.

The difference between them and someone with genuine love for you is the extra effort needed to reach out when it’s not so easy.

If you are happy in a relationship, you need to look for a way to keep at it. If they make you happy, don't let it go. [Credit Freepik]If you

 

2. Always willing to throw in the towel

Conflict happens in every relationship. It demonstrates a level of care which partner have for one another.

That said, every conflict demands a resolution.If you’re the only one trying to resolve any conflict or problems that arise, it’s often a telltale sign of emotional detachment and this of course, is a major sign you’ll find in people who have got only fake love for you.

They really won’t care whether the relationship works or fails.

3. They don’t meet you halfway

Are you always the one to plan things? Check on the other person? Take responsibilities and all that? If so, what concessions, if any, is your partner making? Where’s the effort on their part?

Relationship and compromise are like two peas in a pod. A lack of effort is a universal sign of disinterest – and a relationship is no different.

A lack of effort from a partner is a universal sign of disinterest and you should not ignore it if you see the sign in a relationship [Credit - Shutterstock]

4. Unconcern

An authentic relationship sparks feelings of passion for each other. You’ll be curious, concerned, involved, etc in all that the other person does.

Someone who continuously acts indifferent isn’t engaged, likely detached, and unfit – not to mention unworthy – of a real relationship.

5. That gut feeling

Many times, when someone does not really love you, you will know. There’s usually that sixth sense, that gut feeling in the pit of your stomach that keeps pricking you.

Add this to all the signs that you will see, and the picture is clear that this babe or that guy does not really love you. They’re only with you because they have no option, or for the money or some other fake reason.

Be honest with yourself. Are you wasting your time? Money? Energy?

 

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Here’s How To Show Your Partner You’re Thinking About Them If You’re Apart

Whether you’re in a long-distance relationship or just away for the weekend, learning to cope with periods of separation is an important part of maintaining a healthy partnership. When you can’t be together, figuring out ways to show your partner you’re thinking about them will not only put a smile on their face, but it can also give them peace of mind by making them feel more secure in the relationship. Simply taking the time to make the person you love feel appreciated, even when you’re not in the same room, can separate a good relationship from a great one.

Although it’s easy to overlook the impact small details can have on overall relationship satisfaction, going the extra mile demonstrates to your partner that they’re a top priority. After all, who doesn’t want to be reminded that they’re important? However, all too often, in an effort to seem “chill” it can be tempting to downplay your true feelings to avoid seeming clingy. Fortunately, there are plenty of ways to send your SO some love without feeling like a stage five clinger. Here are some thoughtful things you can do to make it clear to your partner that you can’t get them out of your head.

1. Send Them A Selfie.

I can almost guarantee you that there’s nothing your partner would rather see on their phone screen than a sweet (or sexy) picture of their favorite person: You.

2. Send Them A Voice Memo

For couples who keep in touch mainly via text, missing the sound of your partner’s voice can be a huge bummer. If differing time zones has made it tough to have satisfying talks on the phone, consider sending them a voice memo the next time they cross your mind.

3. Text Them A Funny Meme.

Few things can tackle separation sadness like a deep belly laugh. Since you aren’t able to make your partner laugh in person, texting them a hilarious meme is a fun alternative. But beware, a marathon meme exchange may ensue.

4. Send Them Flowers.

When it comes to expressing how you feel, sometimes words just don’t feel like enough. For situations like these, sending your partner their favorite flowers will speak volumes.

Portrait of young beautiful asian woman  using smart phone selfie live in roof top. Happy asian girl online influencer blogger. Education technology connected asia people, woman lifestyle concept
Shutterstock

5. Have Their Favorite Food Delivered.

If you’re dating a foodie, then chances are you’ve already learned that being fed might as well be a love language. So, arranging for your partner’s favorite treat to be delivered to their door will make it clear that you can’t get them out of your head.

Even though being apart can be a bit of a bummer, it’s also the perfect excuse to come up with creative ways to show each other you care. So, the next time you’re missing your partner, don’t be afraid to come up with a cute way to let them know.

 

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