5 Things Mentally Strong People Do; Things You Need To Do To Cope With The COVID-19 Pandemic

The global lockdown caused by COVID-19 may seem like a forced vacation to some people. But for many in isolation, the restrictions, fear and uncertainty can make it seem like torture. According to Psychology Today’s report, the stress that people are experiencing during the coronavirus pandemic may lead to negative feelings that will result in anxiety, depression, and even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

(Photo : Pixabay)

How Can You Cope With The Pandemic? Here Are The Things Mentally Strong People Do!

This collective trauma may feel bleak, but it isn’t the first crisis faced by the world. According to the report, research investigations in various crises, such as 9/11, were conducted to show how individuals are coping with the events in both maladaptive and adaptive ways.

Researchers have studied the behavior of mentally strong people, how they think and act through adverse experiences. Here are some suggestions, based on evidence, that may help people not only manage the pandemic, but also decrease the long-term mental effects it may have.

5 things mentally strong people do to cope with the COVID-19 pandemic

1. They accept their feelings as normal.

According to the American Psychological Association, mentally strong people tend to accept their feelings as a normal thing since the pandemic is a time for both personal trauma and collective trauma.

They understand that feelings such as anxiety, fear, anger, and hopelessness are normal because there is too much information to be processed at once during the pandemic.

2. They limit news and media exposure.

The research stated that there are two main predictors of how well a person will cope with a pandemic or crisis. The first is how they feel vulnerable with their own lives before the pandemic even started. The second one is how much news information they consume during the pandemic.

This may lead to PTSD or various trauma. Being exposed to the media 24 hours a day can activate an individual’s “fight or flight” response, which may lead to traumatic stress. Mentally strong people avoid consuming too much media, choose responsible and reliable media or print outlets, and limit their exposure to distressful images or content.

3. They limit social media exposure.

This is also linked to limiting news and media since mentally strong people know that social media platforms such as Facebook and Twitter are unofficial news channels and deliver news based on the people’s preferences and behaviors.

Mentally healthy people tend to avoid using social media platforms for news sources. Or, if they can, consume it carefully and judiciously.

4. They meditate.

Different studies have long revealed that long-term meditators can recover from a traumatic experience or a stressful event better.

The benefits of meditation include reduced stress, less anxiety, decreased depression, increased attention span, and an overall improved emotional well-being.

5. They focus on facts.

According to Marsha Linehan, the Ph.D. creator of Dialectical behaviors Therapy (DBT), people have three states of mind; rational mind, emotional mind, and wise mind.

Being emotional is a natural thing during the pandemic. However, choosing to use the rational mind by listing facts and logical information can decrease unnecessary negative thoughts. Mentally strong people tend to think and discern before accepting any information from any source.

 

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3 Undeniable Signs He’s Falling In Love With You

Plus signs women read completely wrong.

There is nothing worse than being in a relationship and having to figure out the “does he love me” question.

Thankfully, I’ve got your back: I’m going to show you how to find out if he loves you, as well as techniques you can use to make him fall in love with you even more.

First, how can you tell your guy is maybe, just possibly falling for you?

Here are 3 undeniable signs a man is falling in love:

1. He’s super awkward or nervous around you.

Sometimes guys are just terrible at dealing with their emotions. They simply don’t know how to be chill around girls they like.

So instead of being helpful, fun and trying to win you over, he may act completely the opposite. He may get super quiet around you, not engage you like he engages all his other friends and generally clam up and get awkward around you.

Maybe there’s been a guy you really adored and you clammed up and got awkward when you were around him? It’s almost like your love for him can strangle your ability to act normal.

Acting like he adores you or acting very nervous around you are the two big behavior signs you should look out for when asking yourself does he love me.

2. He treats you great.

This is the big obvious one that you shouldn’t miss. If your man is doing things that make it clear he loves you, like constantly staring at you, trying to make you laugh, doing really nice things for you, or helping you with things all the time, then there is a large chance that he’s also in love with you.

Note: Now if the guy is like this with everyone he meets and knows, then you can take it that he may not be in love with you. But if he clearly treats you differently to his other girl friends, then it’s a strong sign he likes you

3. He goes out of his way for you and only you.

A massive sign that he loves you is when he goes out of his way to do something for you, but he doesn’t do the same for other friends/co-workers/buddies.

Often guys can be complete jerks and totally inconsiderate to your feelings. So if you notice a guy who is normally a jerk to everyone treat you like a total princess, then it’s a pretty big sign he likes you and possibly is even in love with you.

Important note: Do not confuse small kindnesses and courtesies as a guy being interested.

Often you may be crazy about a guy and be hoping he feels the same way about you. This can often make your mind play tricks on you trying to make you believe that he feels the same way about you.

Sometimes women can look for the tiniest things guys do and try to turn them into big, massive indicators in their heads that a man is in love with them. Have you ever found yourself doing this?

Here are a few examples of what I’m talking about:

  • That guy you’re crazy about said hello this morning: It’s certainly nice, but it definitely doesn’t mean he’s in love with you.
  • He liked one of your Facebook posts: Again, it’s nice, but it’s such a small act that it certainly isn’t a sign that he’s crazy in love with you.
  • He touched you that one time you were talking to him: This guy may happen to be super touchy-feely or maybe he’s not. But touching you just once or twice while talking isn’t a big sign you should watch for when figuring out does he love me.

As you can see from these examples, just one of these things occurring should not be cause for celebration, they unfortunately aren’t signs that he loves you. However, if you find more than one of them happening every single day, then there is a much higher chance that he’s into you.

So, how can you make him fall in love with you?

I want to be really honest here. It’s a tough thing to do. I hate these articles that say you can magically make any guy fall in love with these simple three steps.

The reality is that it’s much more complicated than taking “three magic steps” to making a guy fall in love.

Some guys just aren’t ready.

Some guys have been crushed by a girl previously and are now bitter towards the idea of love.

And some guys just don’t want anything serious.

The most important thing to do is to figure out if he is ready to fall in love in the first place.

If he isn’t at that stage in his life where he is ready to fall in love, then it will be similar to attempting to make a rock fall in love with you: impossible.

But if you’re lucky and do find a guy who’s ready, then it’s a simple case of spending time together, making sure you both have shared interests and making sure that you feel a mutual attraction for each other.

But that’s not all; you also need to keep him on his toes and keep a healthy tension between you both in order to keep it fun and exciting for both of you.

 

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20 Signs You’re With the Woman You Should Marry

If she buys you French fries even when you say you’re not hungry, she’s a keeper.

m going to assume that if you’ve somehow landed on this article, you’re at the stage of your relationship where you’re considering marriage. Cute! Maybe you’ve been together a year or so, maybe you’ve gotten some pressure from your Aunt Lisa who loves getting into your business over Thanksgiving.

Whatever the reason, I’m sure your girlfriend has some redeeming qualities that, at the very least, made you consider marriage with her in the first place. Whether she laughs when you snort, gets you extra French fries when you say you’re not hungry, or texts back right away without leaving you on read, these are all good things that make for total wife-y material.

But if you’re looking for some sort of formula or equation that’ll make it easy for you to determine if this person is, like, your person, you should sign up for an algebra class (…and not be reading this Cosmopolitan article).

That’s because, truly, all clichés aside, you’re the only one who can determine if the woman you’re with is who you should marry. So while, yes, there are some signs this woman could be your person—whether as a wife, or serious life-long partner—it’s truly dependent on how she makes you feel. Check out the list below and see if any of it resonates with you.

1. She makes your bed in the morning. I know this sounds weird, but it’s totally a thing. Sometimes life really is about the little things, so if she takes the time to make up your bed in the morning after you’ve slept in it, just imagine all the other little things she probably does that you don’t even notice.

2. She buys you Corgi socks just because she knows corgis are your favorite. So this one is a lil specific, but you get the idea. If she thinks about you enough to notice there are some socks on sale with your favorite dog on them, it goes without saying but she’s obviously a keeper.

3. She cares how your friends are doing. She knows all your friends by name and is genuinely invested in whether or not your roommate Kate gets together with that guy she likes because they would be so cute together and she wants her to be happy.

4. You can go on trips together and not fight constantly. If you can survive being in a nightmare spa resort full of screaming children, no clean towels, and weak drinks with old pineapple on the rim without fighting constantly, you have something pretty amazing.

5. You still catch her checking you out. For no reason, really. She just thinks you are the hottest human always and is happy to let you know.

6. You share the same values. You both want the same type of relationship, you know where you both stand on having children, and your goals for the future are the same. If you want to work until you’re 90, so does she. If you want to retire early and eat only pudding for the rest of your life, she’s cool with that.

7. She loves bragging about you. To her friends, coworkers, everyone. Because she’s proud of you and thinks you are the coolest person she’s ever met. Her friends, and roommates, and coworkers know every little thing about you before you even meet them. You’re basically like a band she’s obsessed with that she also gets to date.

8. You hear your friends complain about their significant others and you can’t really relate. Just keep it to yourself that you and your girlfriend have fun staring at blank walls and she’s incredibly supportive and thoughtful and compassionate. Not the time to share that info.

9. She’s your biggest supporter. She believes you can do things even you’re not sure you can do because she has the utmost faith and confidence in you even at your lowest moments because she believes you are magic.

10. You feel comfortable planning things way, way in the future. You can buy concert tickets or book a vacation in advance without worrying if she’s going to break up with you or you’re going to break up with her before then. You trust her completely and she’s become such a part of you that your future together seems as certain as anything.

11. She makes sacrifices for you and you do the same for her. And she thinks nothing of it because she genuinely enjoys making sure you’re happy and you feel the same way about her.

12. She doesn’t try to change you. She knows every messed up, weirdo thing you do when you sleep and when you’re awake and when you’re tired and when you’re cranky, and she’s okay with all of it in a way that you weren’t sure anyone ever would be.

13. Your friends are really, genuinely happy for you. After suffering through countless drink dates and morning-after breakfasts with your horrible exes, your friends are so relieved you’re actually with someone who is as cool as you are because you’re truly right for each other, which is something they’d wanted for you for a long time now. It’s like seeing your really tall friend find workable pants, but instead of pants, it’s a person.

14. You can be completely honest with her about anything. No matter how anxious or worried or nervous or scared you’re feeling, you know you can tell her anything at all and she won’t judge you. Sexual fantasies, awkward illnesses, a fight you had with your parents; anything.

15. She’s the first person you want to talk to when something cool/funny/weird happens. You used to text your best friend all of this stuff, but your best friend isn’t even mad about that because they’re so happy you’ve found someone you’re so close and connected with.

16. She indulges your guilty pleasures. She knows you love sitting in track pants and eating an entire Funfetti cake, and not only totally accepts that, but sometimes she brings one home and lets you tear that shit up.

17. You want to protect her. Even though she totally doesn’t need protecting. It’s just an impulse because you love her so goddamn much.

18. She fights fairly. She doesn’t get excessively angry or mean-spirited, and she doesn’t bring up old issues or low blows just to hurt you. She might be mad, but she wants to work it out with you, so you talk about it like adults who love each other.

19. She has her own life outside of your relationship. She knows you two are going to function best when she does her own thing and you do your own thing, and then you both come together and forget about the rest of the world existing.

20. You tell her you miss her when she’s gone, and you really mean it. Like, you say you wish she were there because you actually wish she was there. All the time. Maybe in, like, a live-in situation. A live-in situation with wedding rings. And all of our friends there. And then someone gives you fancy kitchenware. Maybe like that.

 

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Lockdown Might Lead to a Drop in STI Rates, But It Could Also Spark an Increase in STI Stigma

Fear of coronavirus infection could spark renewed fear of sexually transmitted infections

Bad news: Pandemic lockdowns are putting hookups on hold all over the world. Better news: Pressing pause on hookups might also halt the spread of sexually transmitted infections and give more people a chance to get tested before potentially passing on an infection to a new partner. Worse news: Global panic surrounding the viral coronavirus pandemic could prove as contagious as the virus itself, possibly sparking a regressive resurgence of STI shame and stigma.

Going back to the silver lining for a moment, doctors in the U.K. posit that lockdown conditions could greatly improve the nation’s sexual health, with Dr. John McSorley calling this period of relative sexlessness a “game changer” and urging people to get tested before lockdowns end and everyone returns to their regularly scheduled sleeping around.

“If we could test and treat everybody for their infections now, that would be a game-changer going forward as people slowly move towards normality,” McSorley, a sexual health doctor and president of the British Association for Sexual Health and HIV, told BBC Radio 1 Newsbeat.

Justin Harbottle, of sexual health testing organization SH:24, echoed McSorley, calling this period of pandemic-imposed abstinence a “once-in-a-lifetime event” for the future of sexual health. “Even at the start of the HIV epidemic, I don’t think you had such a clean-cut period where collectively – as a population – people stopped having sex with new partners,” said Harbottle.

Unfortunately, one thing we definitely did have during the HIV epidemic was plenty of shame, stigma and moral panic surrounding sex, sexually transmitted infections, and the people who contracted (or were presumed likely to contract) them. And as STI anti-stigma activists have pointed out, our current panic surrounding the coronavirus pandemic could cause those attitudes to crop up again.

ella dawson

@brosandprose

Now that we’re all talking about how important it is to get rapid COVID-19 testing to slow down the pandemic…

| ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ |
| When were |
| you last |
| tested for |
| STIs? |
| _______|
(\__/) ||
(•ㅅ•) ||
/ づ

ella dawson

@brosandprose

I’m worried that the experience of the COVID-19 pandemic is going to lead to even more ignorant, knee-jerk fear of common viruses like herpes and HPV, and a strengthening of STI stigma in general. People are scared of infection right now and that attitude will ripple.

“I’m worried that the experience of the COVID-19 pandemic is going to lead to even more ignorant, knee-jerk fear of common viruses like herpes and HPV, and a strengthening of STI stigma in general,” writer Ella Dawson wrote in a tweet last month. “People are scared of infection right now and that attitude will ripple.”

More recently, Dawson has noted other similarities between flawed responses to the pandemic and misconceptions surrounding sexual health. “The people who are pushing to re-open society because they think the COVID-19 pandemic is exaggerated are the same people who think I’m an immoral disease vector because I have herpes,” Dawson wrote in a Twitter thread Monday. “Some people think they’re not at risk of COVID-19 because they’re too good for it, they’re the exception. They ascribe morality and inherent worth to whether or not they’re at risk of contracting a virus,” she continued, comparing the coronavirus response to an all too common line of thought that casts STIs as a kind of punishment for sexual wrongdoing or inherent moral failure.

“‘I don’t need to wear a mask, I’m not at risk of COVID-19’ is the new ‘I don’t need to wear a condom, the girls I have sex with aren’t dirty sluts,’” Dawson concluded.

ella dawson

@brosandprose

Replying to @brosandprose

It makes sense, honestly. Some people think they’re not at risk of COVID-19 because they’re too good for it, they’re the exception. They ascribe morality and inherent worth to whether or not they’re at risk of contracting a virus.

Guess what, Karen! Viruses don’t discriminate.

ella dawson

@brosandprose

“I don’t need to wear a mask, I’m not at risk of COVID-19” is the new “I don’t need to wear a condom, the girls I have sex with aren’t dirty sluts.”

None of this is to say that the doctors urging people to take this time to prioritize their sexual health are promoting stigma. People should absolutely get tested before hooking up with any new partners post-lockdown (though that’s always the case, lockdown or no lockdown). But as discussions of STIs inevitably get pulled into the coronavirus conversation, it’s important to avoid transposing fears about coronavirus onto other infections, especially those with a history of stigma.

Illness of any kind is never a punishment for wrongdoing, nor is it a reflection of someone’s worth or standing, moral or otherwise.

 

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No, Nice Guys Don’t Finish Last. Here’s The Truth

“Nice guys finish last” is a phrase that has always made me feel a lot of negative emotions. Frustration comes to mind. Disgust. Exhaustion. Do women have a phrase like that? Do we say that, “Nice women finish last?” No way. That’s a very complex topic in and of itself since women have been told for centuries to just “be nice,” which really did hold us back, but we were told was a good thing. And now you have empowered, fabulous “nasty women” who make some gains due to it, but are also chastised for it. We don’t get this clean and convenient relationship with the word “nice” that men have. But I digress. I’m tired of men saying “nice guys finish last” and, quite frankly, I’ve never met one who said it that was really all that nice. Here’s the truth about that twisted idea.

Being nice for a reward isn’t nice

Often, when men say this, it’s because they were very nice to a woman for a long time, in the hopes that, in return, she’d sleep with them. Then she didn’t. She slept with someone else. And they complain it’s because they were “nice.” So, to be clear: doing something nice purely because you want something in return is not nice. That’s called being selfish.

Neither is being dishonest

Also, while we’re on the topic of being nice to a woman in the hopes that she’ll sleep with you, it’s dishonest. She believes you just want to be her friend because you’ve never stated otherwise, and all the while you have an agenda. You’re a guy who wants to sleep with her, in disguise of a man who doesn’t. You’re pretending to be happy in the friend zone. That’s dishonest, and that’s not nice.

I typically see men who will let women walk all over them—they’ll take the woman’s car to be washed while she has lunch with another man and dog sit for her while she goes on a trip with another man—and then they’ll say they didn’t get her because they were nice. What they were was a doormat and that’s a different category.

When men complain that they were so nice to a woman and got nothing return, it really angers me because nobody made them do that. They are grown*ss men with free will who don’t have to do anything for anybody that they don’t want to do. They have nobody but themselves to blame if they did a bunch of things they didn’t enjoy.

Your values should be for you

You know what’s really attractive? Sticking to your values because they matter to you and not because they may attract or impress someone else. When men are just nice in the hopes that women will take notice, that’s just sad. Does that mean they aren’t nice when women aren’t watching?

If she truly prefers jerks…

Sometimes, a man is correct in that the woman he is after just likes jerks. Okay. Fine. I can concede that sometimes women do like jerks. But to that “nice” guy I ask: so, um, why do you like women who like jerks? That really says something more about that guy than that woman.

But sometimes, that’s just your perception

The reality is that a lot of times when a guy loses out on a woman who chooses another guy, the “loser” makes himself feel better by just telling himself that the other guy is a jerk and the woman likes jerks. But, sometimes, that’s just his perception. The winner is often a nice guy, too.

What we really like is confidence

What “nice guys” mistake as cockiness is really just confidence. That’s what women tend to respond to in men. Some men who struggle to exhibit confidence have to tell themselves that confidence always equals cockiness in order to console themselves.

Confidence, combined with kindness

And, for the record, confident men can be kind. In fact, that’s the combination of traits we like the most. It’s not as simple as men breaking down into two categories of meek but nice men and confident jerks. Hybrids exist. Oh, and there are meek jerks, too.

Being assertive doesn’t= being a jerk

The story many “nice guys” lean on is that the guy who got the girl was pushy, while the nice guy was “polite and patient.” What really happened, often, is the guy who got the girl was just assertive. He let his intentions be known.

Sitting and waiting doesn’t make you nice

Sitting around, quietly waiting for someone to notice you and give you what you want without you ever having to ask for it doesn’t make you nice. It’s actually the opposite of that because, you’re setting others up to fail. A woman who might have said yes if you’d asked her out is now the devil in your eyes because she dated someone else. But you never asked her out.

In fact, it makes you a little pathetic

Truly, just sitting around hoping somebody hands you what you want without having to fight for it or ask for it makes a man rather pathetic. There seem to be a lot of self-proclaimed “nice guys” out there who, quite frankly, are just being pathetic. They’re sitting around feeling sorry for themselves.

Becoming resentful is so petty

Let’s not forget about the men who get fed up with being “nice” for so long that then they intentionally become jerks. Ugh. What a delusional, stupid, and misguided path.

Plenty of jerks finish last

There are jerks who finish last, by the way. Jerks finish last all of the time, because they’re jerks!

They just don’t sit around pitying themselves

You know what the jerks have over the “nice guys”? Well, at least they don’t sit around pitying themselves for not getting what they wanted. They just go out and try again.

 

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Dating experts offer tips for lovelorn singles over 50

Carol Greenfield, 68, has had her share of bad app dates. She misses meeting people in person: Chemistry, she says, is hard to capture on a screen.

Over 50, single and ready to mingle? Here are some online dating tips, profile pointers and meetup guidelines from experts who know how to get seniors back into the matchmaking game.

Don’t fudge your profile photos

“Authentic dating profiles get the best results, and in midlife, no one expects a six-pack or perfect body,” says Julie Spira, a relationship expert with senior dating app OurTime. So opt for pics taken in 2019 that capture how you’d actually show up for a first date: in nice clothing, at your current weight and without a filter erasing your crow’s feet. A full-length body shot is essential, Spira adds — people will pass if they think you’re hiding something. And limit yourself to one group shot.

Don’t play it coy

“It used to be that once you connected with someone, you waited three days to get in touch again because you didn’t want to seem overly interested,” says Spira. “Technology has made that obsolete. If you don’t respond in three hours, your hot lead for romance is going to go cold.”

Raise your age cutoff

Many 50-plus singles vainly reject the idea of dating older, severely limiting their potential mates. Psychologist Chloe Carmichael recommends that people be open to dating those who are as much as five years their senior. That way, she says, you can greatly expand your dating pool without creating major age gaps.

Keep it brief

Most older singles have had rich life experiences, but the “About Me” section isn’t the place for your long-winded memoir, says Spira. Aim for three to five sentences that focus on your present life, possibly with a funny quote or a few emojis to quickly convey hobbies and passions.

Steer clear of TMI

Your matches are sure to ask about your relationship history, but that’s not an invitation to divulge your ex’s five-year affair with the dog walker. Be ready with a simple, blame-free sentence. For example, “The marriage ended a few years ago because we ultimately developed some trust issues, and I’ll be happy to tell you more down the line.”

 

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