m going to assume that if you’ve somehow landed on this article, you’re at the stage of your relationship where you’re considering marriage. Cute! Maybe you’ve been together a year or so, maybe you’ve gotten some pressure from your Aunt Lisa who loves getting into your business over Thanksgiving.
Whatever the reason, I’m sure your girlfriend has some redeeming qualities that, at the very least, made you consider marriage with her in the first place. Whether she laughs when you snort, gets you extra French fries when you say you’re not hungry, or texts back right away without leaving you on read, these are all good things that make for total wife-y material.
But if you’re looking for some sort of formula or equation that’ll make it easy for you to determine if this person is, like, your person, you should sign up for an algebra class (…and not be reading this Cosmopolitan article).
That’s because, truly, all clichés aside, you’re the only one who can determine if the woman you’re with is who you should marry. So while, yes, there are some signs this woman could be your person—whether as a wife, or serious life-long partner—it’s truly dependent on how she makes you feel. Check out the list below and see if any of it resonates with you.
1. She makes your bed in the morning. I know this sounds weird, but it’s totally a thing. Sometimes life really is about the little things, so if she takes the time to make up your bed in the morning after you’ve slept in it, just imagine all the other little things she probably does that you don’t even notice.
2. She buys you Corgi socks just because she knows corgis are your favorite. So this one is a lil specific, but you get the idea. If she thinks about you enough to notice there are some socks on sale with your favorite dog on them, it goes without saying but she’s obviously a keeper.
3. She cares how your friends are doing. She knows all your friends by name and is genuinely invested in whether or not your roommate Kate gets together with that guy she likes because they would be so cute together and she wants her to be happy.
4. You can go on trips together and not fight constantly. If you can survive being in a nightmare spa resort full of screaming children, no clean towels, and weak drinks with old pineapple on the rim without fighting constantly, you have something pretty amazing.
5. You still catch her checking you out. For no reason, really. She just thinks you are the hottest human always and is happy to let you know.
6. You share the same values. You both want the same type of relationship, you know where you both stand on having children, and your goals for the future are the same. If you want to work until you’re 90, so does she. If you want to retire early and eat only pudding for the rest of your life, she’s cool with that.
7. She loves bragging about you. To her friends, coworkers, everyone. Because she’s proud of you and thinks you are the coolest person she’s ever met. Her friends, and roommates, and coworkers know every little thing about you before you even meet them. You’re basically like a band she’s obsessed with that she also gets to date.
8. You hear your friends complain about their significant others and you can’t really relate. Just keep it to yourself that you and your girlfriend have fun staring at blank walls and she’s incredibly supportive and thoughtful and compassionate. Not the time to share that info.
9. She’s your biggest supporter. She believes you can do things even you’re not sure you can do because she has the utmost faith and confidence in you even at your lowest moments because she believes you are magic.
10. You feel comfortable planning things way, way in the future. You can buy concert tickets or book a vacation in advance without worrying if she’s going to break up with you or you’re going to break up with her before then. You trust her completely and she’s become such a part of you that your future together seems as certain as anything.
11. She makes sacrifices for you and you do the same for her. And she thinks nothing of it because she genuinely enjoys making sure you’re happy and you feel the same way about her.
12. She doesn’t try to change you. She knows every messed up, weirdo thing you do when you sleep and when you’re awake and when you’re tired and when you’re cranky, and she’s okay with all of it in a way that you weren’t sure anyone ever would be.
13. Your friends are really, genuinely happy for you. After suffering through countless drink dates and morning-after breakfasts with your horrible exes, your friends are so relieved you’re actually with someone who is as cool as you are because you’re truly right for each other, which is something they’d wanted for you for a long time now. It’s like seeing your really tall friend find workable pants, but instead of pants, it’s a person.
14. You can be completely honest with her about anything. No matter how anxious or worried or nervous or scared you’re feeling, you know you can tell her anything at all and she won’t judge you. Sexual fantasies, awkward illnesses, a fight you had with your parents; anything.
15. She’s the first person you want to talk to when something cool/funny/weird happens. You used to text your best friend all of this stuff, but your best friend isn’t even mad about that because they’re so happy you’ve found someone you’re so close and connected with.
16. She indulges your guilty pleasures. She knows you love sitting in track pants and eating an entire Funfetti cake, and not only totally accepts that, but sometimes she brings one home and lets you tear that shit up.
17. You want to protect her. Even though she totally doesn’t need protecting. It’s just an impulse because you love her so goddamn much.
18. She fights fairly. She doesn’t get excessively angry or mean-spirited, and she doesn’t bring up old issues or low blows just to hurt you. She might be mad, but she wants to work it out with you, so you talk about it like adults who love each other.
19. She has her own life outside of your relationship. She knows you two are going to function best when she does her own thing and you do your own thing, and then you both come together and forget about the rest of the world existing.
20. You tell her you miss her when she’s gone, and you really mean it. Like, you say you wish she were there because you actually wish she was there. All the time. Maybe in, like, a live-in situation. A live-in situation with wedding rings. And all of our friends there. And then someone gives you fancy kitchenware. Maybe like that.
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