There comes a time in every swiper’s dating app journey when the monotony of it all can start to take a toll. If you’ve been dating your heart out but feel disheartened by the results (or lack thereof), rest assured you’re not alone. Fatigue is common among people juggling multiple apps or constantly hustling to meet new people, and it could be a sign that you’re ready to take a break from dating apps. According to Jenna Birch, the strategic advisor for the dating app Plum, devoting an excessive amount of time to finding a match isn’t sustainable.
“It’s not a test or a race to see how fast you can find a new flame,” Birch previously told Elite Daily. “You can go on a dating hiatus, and just focus on yourself. Constantly scanning rooms and browsing apps for new dating prospects can make single life less fun.” Even if you’re enjoying the excitement and variety that dating apps offer, it’s always important to make time for yourself outside of the dating sphere. So, if you suspect it may be time to take a step back from dating apps, here are some signs that pressing “pause” could be the right move.
1. You Feel Pressure To Date.
When arranging a date for the weekend starts to feel like just another stressful task on your to-do list, this could mean you’re putting yourself out there a bit too much. “A lot of people feel pressure to always be out there constantly and that if they snooze even for a second, they will lose,” well-being coach Shula Melamed previously told Elite Daily. “It is beneficial for you to bring your best, most energized and cared for self to the table — if you need to take a break to do this, so be it.”
2. You Feel Unmotivated To Meet Matches.
According to Thomas Edwards, founder of The Professional Wingman, feeling unmotivated by the process of dating is a tell-tale sign it’s time to slow down. Perhaps you’re, “exhausted by dating, from not replying to messages, [or] even not wanting to show up on dates,” Edwards previously told Elite Daily. “[Maybe], you just haven’t had any enjoyable or memorable experiences in a long time.” If this is the case, focusing on yourself for a while might be the best course of action.
3. Putting In The Effort Doesn’t Feel Worth It.
Let’s face it: Getting the most out of dating apps can take a significant amount of effort. “[If] you’ve been trying too hard to make things happen and [have] no results to show for your efforts,” this is another sign that it may be a good idea to avoid dating apps until you’re feeling more optimistic, said Edwards.
4. The Idea Of Being Set Up Sounds Exhausting.
You know you’re experiencing some major dating fatigue when the idea of being set up on a date by a friend or family member still sounds like way too much work. Meeting new people is the cornerstone of finding eligible matches, so if you’re unable to get in a positive headspace about it, don’t force yourself. “If the suggestion of a set-up with even the most eligible sounding of prospects makes you feel more drained than energized, it could be time to take a moment for yourself,” agreed Melamed.
5. You Feel Burned Out In Other Areas Of Your Life.
If you’re overexerting yourself when it comes to online dating apps, sooner or later, the exhaustion could start to spill over into other areas of your life. In these situations, it’s important to give yourself the time and space to re-establish balance. “Get off the dating merry-go-round for at least three weeks to a month,” NYC-based relationship expert Susan Winter previously told Elite Daily. “Just stop. Don’t stress, don’t fret, and don’t beat yourself up.”
Ultimately, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with taking a break from dating apps (or dating in general) if you’re no longer enjoying the process. Although it may be tempting to push-through to avoid the fear missing out, doing so could prolong your dating fatigue. In the end, only you can say for sure if it’s time for a dating app hiatus. If you’re still unsure whether it’s a good idea to stop swiping for a while, always trust your gut.
It’s not every day a potential new romantic interest texts you by mistake, but it happened for Codie Higer, an actor and singer from New York City. Higer was on a Houseparty call with friends on April 14 when she got a text from a number she didn’t recognize. It was a photo of a cake from a stranger named Mike. The problem? This (literally) sweet message was intended for someone else. Codie Higer posted a Twitter thread about what followed this unintentional digital meet-cute, and it’s a real-life quarantine rom-com.
Higer tells Elite Daily she and her friends were about to end their Houseparty call when she got the text from Mike. “Hey it’s Mike! It was cool meeting you!” the text read. “This is how that lemon bundt cake turned out by the way,” with a photo of said lemon bundt cake attached. “Hey – not sure who you’re trying to text but it appears you have the wrong number!” she texted back. “Nice cake though!”
Mike apologized and explained it was meant for someone named Leah — a girl he’d gone on a virtual Hinge date who seemingly gave him a fake number afterwards. They ended up commiserating about how tough dating can be, and before they knew it, they were introducing themselves.
Higer says she was wary at first, but the chat naturally progressed into a friendly conversation. Mike is a 30-year-old English teacher living in Cleveland, and Higer, 26, lives in NYC — although she’s currently staying with her mother in Cleveland due to the ongoing coronavirus pandemic. They exchanged photos and decided to set a FaceTime date for the very next day.
According to Higer, it was fun. “We acknowledged how bizarre the situation was and talked about movies, books, and each other’s careers,” she says. “He was very curious about my life in NYC and what it’s like to be an auditioning actor and I asked him about the difficulties of being a teacher right now. We have a surprising amount in common! As far as I can tell, there was chemistry — we made each other laugh a lot, which is always a great sign.”
They’ve also been texting every day (!!) since their first exchange, and have another date scheduled for April 18. Higer, who isn’t currently on dating apps, says she wasn’t thinking about dating in quarantine before she got Mike’s text, but, “I’m always open to possibilities so… we’ll see! I will say, it didn’t actually feel as weird as I had expected to FaceTime a total stranger. I’m used to the weirdness of first dates and this didn’t feel that different! I’m a very outgoing person and I am always curious to meet new people, so this wasn’t that foreign for me.”
This could just end up being the 2020 love story we need. Fingers crossed!
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