ANGEL WITH A BROKEN WING is now On Sale at Amazon! (kindle & paperback)

PUBLISHED!!!!

The official announcement will come out at 6am today!

But in the meantime…

Sneak Peek!

 

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss

 

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

My new book, Angel with a Broken Wing is available now!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

How To Improve Your Dating App Profile For 2020 So You Get Way Better Matches

One from the ladies…

For a long time, I left my bio blank on dating apps. I hated reading cheesy bios with lame jokes in them that make it seem like someone’s trying way too hard and I didn’t really get how this would help improve my dating app profile for better matches. I didn’t use any of my allotted 500 characters in the bio section — until recently. It’s not that I had fewer matches without a bio but that my matches didn’t exactly know how to strike up a conversation or hold my interest, which was partly my fault. I didn’t give them any clues about the kind of person I am or the things I’m interested in. I didn’t even link my Spotify or Instagram accounts.

In 2018, I plan on making a few more changes to my dating app profile that will hopefully lead to better matches and more first dates. It’s all part of my ultimate 2020 resolution, which is to give fewer f*cks but get a lot more.

I spend a lot of time swiping through other people’s profiles on dating apps, which uniquely qualifies me to determine which profile hacks actually work and which you should probably leave in 2017. It’s simple, really. Photo of you and a dead fish (or any dead animal, really)? Delete ASAP. Five mirror selfies in a row? Remove at least three of those and get your friends to take some plandids. Listing your anthem as “All Star” by Smash Mouth? Well, I suppose not all that glitters is gold. Here are a couple other things you could do to improve your dating app profile in 2020.

 

1. Update That One Photo You’ve Had On Your Profile Forever

I don’t care how much you love that photo of you on vacation in Cabo San Lucas with your family from three years ago. Surely, you’ve done fun and exciting things since then and managed to capture photo evidence of it. All of the photos on your dating app profile should be recent, especially if you’ve drastically changed up your look within the last few months. You wouldn’t want to be blindsided by an old photo of one your matches who looks completely different now, so don’t do the same to them.

 

2. Mix Up The Order Of Your Photos

Luckily, Tinder will do this for you if you turn on the Smart Photos feature in your settings. Smart Photos will continually test which of your photos give you the best results and periodically select a new one to show first. This is perfect if you live in a college town and you’ve gotten used to swiping through the same people over and over. By keeping your updated photos in steady rotation, you increase your chances of matching with people like you who might be excited to see a new face (or, at least, the same face with a different Snapchat filter).

3. Swap The Emoji Bio For Actual Words

You’re a grownup. You can do this. If you really want to improve the quality of your matches and the conversations you have with them, you’re going to need to say a little more than *pink double heart,* *rainbow,* *prayer hands,* *wine glass.* If the idea of honestly completing your bio makes you feel too vulnerable, try including a quote from a favorite song or movie that best captures your personality.

4. List Your Job Or School

Trust me on this one. A quick way to let people know a little more about you is to include your job title or school’s name in your profile. You’ll be surprised how much you might have in common with someone simply because you both intern at an attorney’s office or took the same classes your freshman year. Plus, if you’re too shy to message your matches first, this is the perfect clue to give them for a thoughtful conversation starter.

5. Play Around With Your Settings Every Now And Then

Every time I adjust my settings on Tinder, I enjoy an entirely new swiping experience. There are tons of ways you can mix things up, like widening your location radius or changing your age preferences. The app will recalculate your pool of potential matches, giving you more chances to swipe right on anyone you might have missed before.

 

6. Splurge On The Paid Version Of Your Preferred Dating App

Premium versions of any dating app are bound to increase your chances of finding the perfect match. For example, on Tinder you can opt for one of two in-app subscriptions. Tinder Plus gives you unlimited swipes, lets you undo any accidental swipes (this is revolutionary), adds five Super Likes to your account every day, and boosts your profile once a month so you can swipe as one of the top profiles in your area for 30 minutes. Tinder Gold offers all of these features, plus the coveted knowledge of who has swiped right on you without you having to reciprocate. Best of all, both of these packages also offer Tinder’s Passport feature that allows you to swipe in any location across the world. Parisian men, here I come.

Technology is only going to keep getting better — you definitely don’t want to be left behind simply because you haven’t looked at your dating app profile since you set it up a few years ago. In 2018, commit to a better dating app profile, better matches, and a better life!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

My new book, Angel with a Broken Wing is available now!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

Signs That You Love Your Boyfriend Too Much

It’s totally okay to be in the honeymoon phase and crazy for your new man, but make sure it’s healthy and not a weird obsession… Becoming obsessed with your significant other can go wrong in dozens of ways from driving them away to just being plain unhealthy for you. Here are some of the ways people say I love my boyfriend that others look at as obsession.

1.YOU DON’T TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE

Everyone talks about their relationships. However, when you don’t talk about anything else, ever, it’s one of the biggest signs you are obsessed with your boyfriend or girlfriend. If your friends constantly roll their eyes because every sentence out of your mouth begins with “My boyfriend and I…” or “We had so much fun…” then you may have a problem. When everything interesting you have to say involves your significant other, you’re a little too involved. Take a look at your social media timelines as well; how many of your status updates involve your partner?

2.YOUR THUMBS ARE ON THE TRIGGER

Are you constantly texting, Facebooking, or tweeting your significant other? If you can’t go five minutes without sending a text, a selfie, a poke, or a SnapChat, you’re going overboard. This is especially true if you get upset when your partner fails to answer within five seconds. Sending messages is okay in moderation, but you have to draw the line somewhere. There’s a difference between wanting to talk to them and saying I love my boyfriend and being weird about it.

3.SERIOUS SEPARATION ANXIETY

Missing your partner is perfectly natural as well. If your boyfriend heads to band camp for a few weeks or your girlfriend goes on vacation with her family, of course you’ll feel a little lonely. However, if you suffer serious separation anxiety for long and short separations, you need to check yourself. You might actually have sweaty palms, an accelerating heartbeat, and even exhibit the symptoms of a panic attack. That’s too much, especially if all of this comes with a certainty that your partner is cheating with you or plans to break up with you, just because you’re in two different places.

4.YOU NEGLECT YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY

Obsessive behaviors often manifest outside of your relationship. For example, if you’re neglecting your family and friends in favor of spending time with your boyfriend or girlfriend, you’ve got a big problem! When your significant other takes up your entire life and you no longer have time for anyone else – and worse, when you no longer have a desire to spend time with anyone else – you’re exhibiting symptoms of obsession and not cutely wanting to say I love my boyfriend by being with him too much. Everyone needs personal space!

5.THERE’S NO PRIVACY

Do you snoop? If you find yourself sneaking peeks at your boyfriend’s phone or trying to read your girlfriend’s diary, your behavior is unmistakably obsessive. This is especially true if you’re doing it because you’re paranoid or suspicious. Everyone deserves their privacy. Don’t betray your partner’s trust by snooping through his or her things, and respect him or her enough to respect these boundaries.

6.YOU GIVE UP YOUR INDEPENDENCE

Do you define yourself by your relationship? If you willingly give up your independence because you want to spend every waking moment with your partner, there’s a problem. When you can’t do anything by yourself, or refuse to go out by yourself or with friends because your partner isn’t coming along, take a long, hard look at yourself, your relationship, and your motivations.

7.YOU’RE JEALOUS OF EVERYONE

You get jealous of random people who may or may not be looking at your partner, as well as people he or she has known forever. You always suspect your partner of cheating or worry that he will automatically return every come-on or flirtation; that’s not I love my boyfriend that’s just plain psycho… Where’s the trust? Obsession often comes from insecurity, and there’s no need to feel jealous of everyone who even glances at your boyfriend or girlfriend unless you feel extremely insecure.

You can be close to your partner; you can be affectionate, interested, and even occasionally clingy, because we all get in those moods – but “occasionally” is the keyword here, and you can’t take it too far. There’s a fine line between I love my boyfriend and obsession which isn’t healthy for anyone involved; nor does it lead to a strong, long lasting relationship. Have you ever gotten obsessed with your boyfriend or girlfriend? Has someone you’ve dated been obsessed with you?

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

My new book, Angel with a Broken Wing publishes of Amazon June 20th!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

 

9 Guys To Avoid When You’re Online Dating

Who’s worth your time?

If you’re new to online dating and you’re not sure which men are worth a right-swipe, a nod, a wink, or a message, you need to pay attention to the red flags.

Who’s not worthy of any of your attention, at all? When you learn the red flags to watch out for from the beginning, you’ll save time and heartache (or worse) later on.

When you’re in the first flush of attraction, it can be ever so easy to ignore or rationalize red flags. All the information you need is right there on the dating sites.

So, take this dating advice to heart: don’t ignore the signs that should be setting off alarms, bells, flashing lights and sending you running for the nearest exit.

Here are the 9 men you’ll find when online dating who loudly scream red flags.

1. The Flim-Flammer/Scammer

This is an important red flag: no man looking to date you should be asking you for money or favors. No. Man.

Never give money to anyone you’re chatting with on a dating site or app. If a man asks you for money, stop talking to him. These predators use online dating sites to take advantage of women who are lonely for attention and looking for love.

This guy will say anything to build your trust. He’ll try to make you fall for him. It’s all manipulation meant to get his hands on your hard-earned money.

He needs to attend a family member’s funeral. He is late with his rent because his paycheck got lost in the mail. He’s interested in moving to the U.S. from another country.

That kind of help is what friends and family are for — not the woman he’s chatting with online and hoping to date. Your wallet and bank account are not a part of the package.

2. The Love Bomber

Attraction at first sight? Sure. True love at first sight? And from a glimpse at your profile picture? Um, not so much. This guy uses excessive texting, e-mailing, or phone calls to tell you:

No one falls in love based on a picture, a profile, or a brief message.

Relationships take time to build. Players, narcissists, and sociopaths have agendas with their partners. They often appear intense and deep. They move fast and get serious way too soon.

This guy wants to convince you he’s madly in love with you. He’ll do his best to intensify the relationship so you feel breathless and swept off of your feet.

I know a guy like this. I recently cut him off.

3. The Hair Trigger/Rusher

This guy gets angry or annoyed in a hurry. If you don’t respond to his message immediately, he sulks or complains about it. Or, he may pressure you into meeting right away. Like 15 minutes after you first exchange messages. If you won’t (and you shouldn’t!) he may pout or try to wheedle you into changing your mind.

This guy may be needy, controlling or jealous. Or, he may want to get together for a brief sexual fling rather than develop a relationship.

If this man is looking for something serious, he’ll take the time to have a few conversations with you. He’ll also give you a chance to get to know him before trying to see you.

4. “Only here for the…”

When a guy states “not looking for anything serious” on his profile, believe him.

He is not here to find his soul mate. He’s not interested in a long-term relationship. He wants to casually date, and have some fun. That’s no crime.

But, unless you too are only out to have some fun and casually date, don’t waste your time. You’re going to change him.

5. The Playboy/Player

This guy will have plenty of pictures of himself on his dating profile. With other women. Lots of them.

He’s out to show the world — and you — that he gets around and is proud of it. It’s unlikely he’s looking for a serious relationship. And if he should tell you the women in the photos are friends or his relatives, .

6. Mysterio

The guy with no pictures of himself on his profile. Or, his photos are dark or blurry. He’s wearing sunglasses and a hat. What’s he hiding? Is he shy?

Mysterio may be in a relationship or married and looking to cheat. Or not, but do you want to hang around to find out?

7. The Sexter

The Sexter can hardly wait to send women nude pictures of himself or shots of specific parts of his anatomy (a.k.a. a di*k pic).

He will also ask you for the same. As the name implies, the Sexter is looking for sex.

Men who want to get to know you and form a relationship do not immediately want to show off their package. Nor are they focused on your womanly attributes.

If you’re looking for more than a casual sexual relationship, don’t waste your time with him.

8. The Party Boy

A picture or two of a man having drinks or dining out with friends is fine. More than that, and you’ll see that his profile looks as though he’s still in college, living the frat boy dream.

If you’re looking for a mature man who doesn’t party every night or every weekend, skip the Party Boy.

9. The Imaginary Lover

You can start out believing this guy is worth a second look or meeting in person. He sends interesting and witty emails and/or texts. He’s well-spoken and polite. He can talk about any subject under the sun, but he never makes plans to meet.

Unless you’re looking for a 21st-century pen-pal or you are endlessly fascinated by his spiel, move on.

For your own sanity’s sake, decide on a set number of texts or e-mails you’re prepared to exchange. It should be 4-6. This number is for you, not him. When it’s been reached, tell him you’d like to chat on the phone and make a date to meet. If he won’t or he stalls, move on.

When you’re still learning how to date, especially online, it’s important to stay safe. Be happy. Enjoy dating for what it is — a great way to get to know a person.

Online dating isn’t so different than any other kind of dating. And it’s not meant to remain online. You want time to get to know someone before you’re involved and committed.

By knowing how to spot the types of men to avoid, you can focus on meeting men who are worth getting to know. Lastly, don’t ignore your gut instincts and intuition. If something feels wrong or creepy — pay attention!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

My new book, Angel with a Broken Wing publishes of Amazon June 20th!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly