15 Tinder Horror Stories That Make Your Worst Date Seem Great by Comparison

“She peed on my floor.”

Going on a date with a stranger you met online can be unbelievably awkward, but these Tinder horror stories will make your worst swiping experience seem like a total walk in the park.

A recent Reddit thread attracted thousands of commenters when it asked people to share their most nightmarish tales from the swipe-based dating app. Apparently, a large swath of the population has not read our list of the worst dating mistakes you can possibly make, because these stories are bad, bad, bad. Guys, we know you love your mom—she’s probably an absolute delight!—but your Tinder match definitely doesn’t want to meet her on the first date.

Below, we highlighted some of the most cringe-inducing Tinder horror stories from the thread. Fun fact: Scrolling through the responses might actually make you grateful for being alone right now!

“It ended up being a double date with his mom.”

From McConnells_Neck: “It ended up being a double date with his mom and her OkCupid date. He told me that he and his mom were a ‘package deal.’ I was mortified and there was no second date.”

“As we left he asked me to marry him.”

From Transformwthekitchen: “I went on a Tinder date a couple months ago on a Sunday afternoon. Met up with the guy around 3, he had a really good energy and was funny and complimentary. The place we wanted to go had a long line, so we went to another restaurant on the water for a drink and appetizers. He started slamming down Mai Tais. I had one, he had 3. They were STRONG. Like, I was tipsy borderline drunk off of one. The bar had a 2 mai tai per person limit, but he found another bartender to get his 3rd. He got drunker and drunker and started telling me he loved me, joking at first but getting increasingly serious. As we left he asked me to marry him, I kind of laughed it off, and was like, ‘Maybe we take it slow, we just met each other.’ He got so mad he stormed off and left me on a street corner. Then as soon as he got home (it was 5 pm) he started texting me ‘come over.’ And ‘I miss you.’

“He was 43. Wtf.”

“Dude had left drippy poop water stains all over my bathroom floor.”

“After a movie date with a guy I met on Tinder, we came back to my place. We’ll call him Dude. I told him we could hang for a bit but I have work in the morning so I would need to go to sleep soon. Dude said that was fine, but he was hungry and he was going to order food. Ok sure. Dude orders 2 large subs from PotBelly and a milkshake. Downs it.

“… We end up messing around a bit and fall asleep in bed. I wake up to my front door opening and closing several times over a 5-minute period. My dogs are going nuts, and it’s 1 a.m. What the heck is this guy doing?? … I walk around the corner to make eye contact with Dude who is in a squatting position over my toilet, with a stick, poking around in murky brown poop water that is millimeters from overflowing onto my bathroom floor. Horrified, he yells, ‘Stop looking at me! Go back to bed! I have it under control!’ I’m still waking up trying to understand what I’m seeing and what’s going on, and I just start nervous laughing. I don’t know what else to do. He yells, ‘Why don’t you have a plunger?!?’ And I said I don’t know I never needed one until now!! He tells me to go back to bed he has it under control … I remember hearing him peek in my room a bit later and heard, ‘I fixed it.’ And then heard him leave and my door close behind him.

“The next morning. I hesitantly approach my toilet to find the water is down. But there is something poking out from the bottom of the toilet like he didn’t get it all. Upon further inspection, what I was seeing was the tip of a stick. Some gloves, towels and BBQ tongues later I pulled out approximately 3 foot of stick from my toilet that had broke off, followed by several other stick fragments. Dude had broke several sticks. I heard my door open and close so much, because he was going outside to look for a stick, one would break, he’d go get another. Dude had left drippy poop water stains all over my bathroom floor.

“… After work that day, I went straight to the store and bought a plunger.”

“Turns out it was one of those pyramid scheme recruiting gatherings.”

From amijohnsnow: “A chick said she was having a ‘work party’ at her house and I should come over. It’s BYOB, so I bought a 6-pack for myself. Went to her place and noticed more than half of the people were younger (17-18, while I was 21 and the girl was also 21). Then they gathered everyone in the living room and proceed to talk about the job. Turns out it was one of those pyramid scheme recruiting gatherings. I just sat there drinking my beer (only one drinking) for 2 hours because I thought it was rude to leave because they were telling sob stories and saying how much this ‘job’ had helped them. Sat there listening to some ‘head of the group guy’ saying how we can make millions in a short amount of time. Saying bullshit like, ‘You see my BMW 3 Series out front? That’s a company car that you can drive around in, if you do what we do.’ … Never went to ‘work parties’ for a Tinder date again. It was a complete shit show and if it wasn’t for the beer I brought, or the Tinder date’s dog, I would have just left.”

“She peed on my floor.”

“So I met this girl on Tinder and went for a lunch date. We had a pretty good connection so we decided to have dinner as well. After having a few drinks one thing lead to another and ended up back at my place, we hooked up and went to sleep.

“Middle [of] the night, I wake up. She’s intensely staring at me while she’s crouched behind the bed. I asked her if everything is alright, she said yes and got back into bed… I thought, little creepy, but probably nothing to worry about.

“She lays down to cuddle with me and she’s wet. At the time, I was like, damn, I must just be a stallion. Fast forward to the morning, she’s gone and there’s a wet puddle beside the bed.

“She peed on my floor.

“I still don’t understand it. I had a bathroom, but maybe she just got lost and couldn’t hold it?

“I did not hear from her again.”

“Blood pours down his face.”

From coyoteaparty: “Went on a date after talking to this guy for a few weeks and I told him I was thinking of getting my nose pierced but was afraid it would hurt. We are walking through a park in broad daylight and this dude takes a safety pin out of his pocket and fucking jams it through his nostril. Blood pours down his face. He laughs and says, ‘See? No big deal.’

“Dude. W t f.”

“He told me instead of saving for that I should save for a boob job.”

From whcaepeachy: “Talked to him for two weeks before we went out and no red flags so we ended up going out to dinner. I said I hadn’t been out in a while because I was trying to save money for a washer and dryer. He told me instead of saving for that I should save for a boob job. I didn’t even know how to reply so he followed up with, ‘No it’s not a bad thing, my sister and Mom both had small tits and got boob jobs and they look amazing.’ This is all before the waitress even brought our drinks. I just got up and left.”

“I look at his mother and see she was my old therapist.”

From rriro: “I went to his place and we hooked up but after he goes, ‘So you wanna know what I’m really into?’ And I was like sure and then he grabs my foot. I have a really irrational fear of people touching my feet so I ran the hell out of there anyway I get to the living room on the way out and it turns out to be his parents house and I look at his mother and see she was my old therapist.”

“After the bartender left I asked how she knew him, and she told me that he was her ex-husband.”

From everythjngbagel: “… After hanging out a few times I went over to her place and we hooked up. It was pretty great except that I forgot in her bio that she was fluent in German… And so mid-coitus this very cute blonde is shouting in German, which no offense to the Germans, isn’t exactly the sexiest language in the book. It was so unexpected and I was terrified.

“Another time we went to grab a drink at a bar and she obviously knew the bartender and we were all chatting it up, she was hanging on me and we had some PDA going on. After the bartender left I asked how she knew him, and she told me that he was her ex-husband. I was a bit shocked because we were all 20 somethin’s. When she went to the bathroom he leaned over and asked me how I took to the German in bed, and I [was] still a bit shocked said, ‘It’s alright.’ He winked at me and she came back.

“Weird girl, Nice guy, comped our drinks and he still remembers me when I go in for a beer.”

“I have a chipped tooth in the back and ended up slicing this guy’s dick.”

From PBandJAMM: “I have a chipped tooth in the back and ended up slicing this guy’s dick open from it..blood everywhere..he took off pretty quickly after that I deleted my Tinder account shortly after.”

“I saw a table full of my boys laughing their asses off.”

From 20thHokage: “I matched with this super cute girl on Tinder. We messaged back and forth for a few days. Didn’t see any red flags, we just liked the same things and seemed like we clicked very well so we decided to meet up at a restaurant for our first date. She told me to walk in and look for a women in a red dress. To give you some context, I don’t really do this very often so I was pretty nervous once I pulled up. I double checked everything: Hair? Check. Breath? Check. Nothing in my teeth? Check. Condoms? Check. So I get down and walk into the restaurant and I started looking for her. The hostess offered to seat me somewhere but I declined and said with a smirk, ‘My date is waiting for me it’s okay.’ So I continued and walked in looking for her. I couldn’t seem to find her, but as soon as I turned a corner I saw a table full of my boys laughing their asses off and recording my reaction to the moment I realized I have been catfished and been flirting with the boys for the past week….”

“She told me she was vegan and that she was cool that I’m not.”

From Rickrickrickrickrick: “Met at a Starbucks. She told me she was vegan and that she was cool that I’m not. I order a coffee with cream in it and she screams at the top of her lungs, in the crowded Starbucks, that I’m a cow murderer. I just paid for my stuff and left.”

“We went to her place and the entire house reeked like cat pee.”

From Verysmallsquares: “Well I’ve only gone on one Tinder date, we talked for a bit and I agreed to pick her up at Starbucks. She looked nothing like her pictures, but I thought I should be nice and at least hang out with her for a bit. We went to her place and the entire house reeked like cat pee. Like saturated. Then as she proceeded to show me her massive collection of animal tail butt plugs, she screamed at her chihuahua and smacked it right on the nose and without missing a beat just asks if I want to make out on the couch. I awkwardly sat down and pretended to look at my phone and made up that my grandma was dying so I could gtfo.”

“Matched with my bff’s fiance after the engagement party.”

From amym2001: “Matched with my bff’s fiance after the engagement party. Screen shots of everything and lost my bff because I don’t play that. I was uninvited to the wedding. Marriage lasted 18 months.”

“I think I was someone’s horror story.”

From nel_wo: “I think I was someone’s horror story.

“My girlfriend and I had broken up about a month ago, I had still not gotten over. So I started using Tinder to go on dates to fill that void… One girl made the unfortunate decision to go on a dinner/drinking date with me. The beginning of the date was going well; until we ordered a few drinks and I proceed to spend the entire 2 hours talking about my ex and venting to this poor girl.”

 

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If You Feel These 5 Things, You Don’t Love Him – You Love The Idea Of Him

“Am I in love with him or the idea of him?” is such a common phrase you probably hear people say all the time.

Until we are in the situation with someone we’re dating where we have to truly ask ourselves the question, we never really think much about what it means. And when we do, it’s usually hard to tell the difference between loving someone or loving the idea of them.

If you’re confused about how to know if you love someone, here are 5 signs you’re really in love with the idea of being in a relationship with him instead.

1. You’re trying to fill a void.

This requires a lot of thinking and a lot of soul searching so it may be emotionally draining.

Are you trying to find companionship or intimacy with someone because you miss having a body to be next to? Are you seeking validation from someone else? And are you just looking to fill up your time?

Regardless, if you think you are trying to fill an empty space, you probably are, which means you probably only like the idea of them to fill a void and that’s it.

2. The more time you spend together the less you enjoy it.

When you genuinely are romantically interested in someone you will quickly notice how much they enhance your life and how experiences become so much more special even if they are simple.

Love helps us learn to be humans and bring out or emotions the most. You can’t substitute that feeling with anyone else.

By seeing this person a lot and either feeling bored or not that excited about life, it’s a good sign that you are just interested in the idea of them. You should be thrilled to go shopping with your interest simply because you just get to spend more time with them.

3. You can’t seem to get over their imperfections.

Obviously, when you spend a lot of time with your partner you learn a lot about their quirks. If you truly love someone you can fairly easily accept them for who they are. Otherwise, those annoying traits, such as; angry, stubborn, negative, controlling, and selfish, will drive you up the wall.

If you sort of tolerate them but notice they are there all the time, you are probably interested in the idea of them.

4. You don’t feel like the complete you.

If you don’t feel like your partner is fulfilling your expectations of satisfaction and completion, there’s a good chance you aren’t interested in them.

When you’re with someone you should be complete on a deeper emotional level. But if there are roadblocks that keep preventing you from diving that deep together, then something is holding you back.

Yes, you need to feel complete as an individual, but you should also feel complete as a couple too.

5. You unknowingly expect them to do all of the work.

Relying on a relationship to fix your emotions basically means that your relationship is doomed from the start. Using someone else as an adjustment during a specific period in your life won’t work. On the flip side, you also shouldn’t rely on your partner for bringing everything into the relationship. While you just sit back and make them work.

Relationships are about balance and if this sounds like you, you might just want someone to fulfill you specifically in any given way rather than being in a deep-rooted commitment to them.

It’s super hard to determine if you are interested in the person or just the idea of them, but these tips should help you dig a little deeper to figure out your situation a little easier.

Obviously, if you find yourself mentally making excuses or having to deflect any of these points I think the answer is obvious you’re in love with the idea of them, not the person.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Every Man Needs These Two Things

And sex is not one of them.

There are certain things you need in life – food, shelter, clothing, sleep. There are certain things you may want — a new car, a better body, more hair. But there are 2 things that you must have, if you are ever going to live your best life.

We all want to live our best lives right?! If you do, these 2 things will go along way to getting you there.

  1. A life worth living
  2. A love to die for (it’s not necessarily what you think)

A life worth living

Living a life of purpose and meaning would seem to be intrinsic to us all. Why else would there be thousands of books, seminars, conferences, programs and events you can go to, that promise to help you discover these things.

But do you need to spend thousands of dollars to do so? I’m sure the zen monks of 300 years ago didn’t. Not saying those things are a waste of time or money. I’ve done some myself. But what can we simplify it down to?

Meaning and purpose comes down to this — what lights you up from the inside? What do you love to do, where time seems to pass so quickly that 3 hours feels like 3 minutes?

What gives you a reason to get up in the morning? And by that, I don’t mean, because you have to go to a job you hate and pay the bloody bills, though that may feel like your reality at the moment. What really makes you want to have another day so you can keep doing what you love?

Show me a man who has ‘something to live for’ and I’ll show you a man who is alive with meaning and purpose.

The inner man

To have a life worth living, you must first and always cultivate your inner man. So who is he?

Your inner man is the you that only you know. Others may feel him, see him, hear him or experience him, but only you truly know him. He is the voice inside of you. He is you. Sound like hippy bs?

Your inner man is the essence of who you are, and the reason you do what you do, good, bad or ugly. He is your operating system. He is made up of a combination of your innate humanness, your beliefs, your values, your spirit, the very core of who you are.

Your inner man is the man who stands up for what he believes in. He is the strength to your inner boy, when that boy wants to kick, scream, sulk, punch a wall, run or hide.

When you get your inner man on, you allow him to stand and be present. The boy inside of you no longer needs the attention, and no longer has anything to prove.

Imagine if you showed up as that man in your personal relationships, in your work, in your day to day living – no longer scared to move, no longer seeking attention, with nothing to prove. In other words, a calm, confident man.

That’s your inner man. You’ll find him when you’re still. You’ll find him when you meditate. You’ll find him in nature. You’ll find him when you seek him.

A love to die for

From Shakespeare to The Bachelor (love it or hate it), the notion of unrequited love has always been a powerful force throughout history.

From lovers to kings, movies, songs, books and poetry, humans seem to forever be in the pursuit of ‘love and romance’ – to ‘love’ and ’be loved’.

But let me take this on a slightly different tangent for today. A love to die for typically conjures up the stuff between lovers. But what if we viewed it through a different lens.

Lets not dumb this down to Hollywood style illusions about love, sex and romance. It’s not about ‘You Got Mail’ or ‘Sleepless in Seattle’.

Let’s put a real spin on this, and look at it through the portal of something deeper – personal sacrifice, dying to the self, renunciation of the ego, and detachment from ‘wanting’. Woah, that’s getting heavy right?

Buddha says that “attachment’ is the root of all suffering”. I tend to agree. Let’s think about this for a minute.

If you are so attached to something that you can’t let it go, or are so worried about losing it, what is that going to do to you? It might be a person or a thing or a job or an opportunity or anything really.

To detach doesn’t mean that you become numb and stop caring or trying. It just means that your self worth is not wrapped up in that thing.

In some circles it’s called dying to the self (the ego). All that simply means is, not being ‘attached’ to other people, or trivial pursuits like riches, sex, material possessions, power, lust and greed. You get where I’m going?

But if you’re busting your gut to get and have these things, can’t live without them, can’t stop thinking about them, then they have a grip on you that’s not healthy.

A wise man knows what he lives for and he knows what he needs to die for.

So when I say “a love to die for” — what I mean is, a love that you will not let yourself become so attached to, and dependent upon, that you lose yourself in the process. But when you let go, then you have everything.

Whether that means you literally lay down your life for someone else, or whether that means that you lay down what you think you want – to focus on the first thing in this blog – the inner man – doesn’t really matter.

The most important thing is, removing the obstacles within you, that then create the space and the capacity to be the best version of you, you can be.

So go ahead. Get your inner man on, put your ego aside, and live your best life.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy my new book, Angel with a Broken Wing on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly