Guy Talk: The Real Reason Women Shouldn’t Make The First Move

Maybe you catch him standing at the other end of the bar, slyly checking you out. Maybe you met him before and flirted with him, but he never asked for your phone number. Or, maybe you’ve already hung out with him a few times, but a casual arm flung over your shoulders is about the extent of the physical contact he’s made so far.

So, you saunter over to him and say hi.

Or, the next time you see him, you say, “So, are you ever going to ask for my phone number?”

Or, as you’re sitting on the couch next to him, streaming yet another movie on Netflix, you turn to look him in the eyes, and you decide to just go for it and kiss him.

Like that daydreaming moron you’re stuck behind at the busy intersection, these are the guys who make you throw your arms up in the air and yell, “You’ve got the green light! Just go already!”

Yes, there are a lot of timid guys out there.

But now, I’m going to let you in on a little secret: Timid guys aren’t as numerous as you may think. In fact, that cute guy who flirts with you and acts interested, but never actually does anything about it, can turn out to be a totally different breed of guy. He’s not timid, or awkward, or nervous. He’s manipulating you.

This is the guy who’s not looking for anything serious (or, more specifically, not looking for anything serious with you), but wouldn’t be opposed to a casual fling. This may also be the guy who prides himself on being a “good guy.” And true to his self-professed nature, he doesn’t want to play you. That’s why he never comes right out and makes any overt moves on you.

On the other hand, if you initiate all the moves, he’s certainly not going to stop you. And whether consciously or subconsciously, that’s the trap he has set for you.

How do I know so much about this guy, you ask? Because I used to be him.

You see, if I let the girl make the first move, then I don’t have to be the douchebag who acts interested, gets the girl into bed, then dumps her immediately after.

If she makes the first move, then I’m the one being chased. And if I’m the one being chased, then I’m the one who was never sure about hooking up. And if I’m the one who was never sure about hooking up, then I have a perfectly valid reason to pull back at any time.

Let me repeat that last part: at any time.

Yes, some guys are douchebags to the core. They sleep on king-sized douchebag beds lined with satin douchebag sheets lathered with the essence of douchebag body spray. They’ll say whatever it takes to get you into bed, and they’ll feel no shame pulling the fade-out after they get what they want.

But, most guys aren’t assholes of such cartoonish proportions. I think most guys actually try to do “the right thing.” And on a conscious level, they know it’s not cool to feign interest in a girl just to get her naked, especially if it seems like she wants more than just a fling.

And that’s when the subconscious rationalizing begins:

“Well, I’d sleep with her. And I’m pretty sure she’s interested. But, I’d never want to date her….”

“Alright, be cool then. Just talk to her and be friendly….”

“Oh, look at that. She just kissed me. Hmm….”

“Alright, Conscience. Look, dude, she freaking just kissed me! You can’t possibly expect me to turn her away, right? As long as she kisses me first, then I can totally hook up with her, and you won’t lay all that guilt on me afterwards, right? Right?”

“You won’t? Game on!”

And once that rationalization train gets going, the excuses just keep on chugging along:

“I had fun with you, but I just don’t want anything serious right now.”

“I’m sorry, I should’ve been more clear what I was looking for before we hooked up.”

“I’m just not ready to commit to anyone at this point in my life.”

Any of these lines can be spoken by the guiltless douchebag as he’s in the process of dumping you. And you’ll hate him.

But, if you’re the one who made all the moves, if you’re the one who pursued him, do you see how the self-professed good guy can say these same exact lines and still come across as the innocent victim while he’s dumping you

In his arsenal, the self-professed good guy even has lines the supersized douchebag could never use. Like this one:

“I’m actually kind of old-fashioned and like to take things slow. Don’t get me wrong—last night was amazing. But, I was caught up in the moment, and I think we definitely moved too fast.”

See? It’s your fault you jumped into bed too soon, because you put the moves on him. And now, he gets to walk away with nary a scratch on his shiny armor.

I admit, I did all this subconscious rationalizing for years before I realized what I was actually doing. Once my conscience made that shady back room deal with my lust, my hypocrisy became all too easy to ignore.

Yup, all my life, I prided myself on being a decent guy. But, it turns out I was a douchebag all along. And unfortunately, I think every guy has some amount of douchiness in him (if, by “douchiness,” we mean the desire for easy sex).

Here’s the bottom line:

If I really like a girl, I’m going to make the first move.

So, go ahead. Make the first move on that cute, coy guy if you want. Just remember the Get Out Of Guilt Free card you may be handing him if you do.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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How to Make a Girl Like You Without Asking Her Out

You like a girl. And you want her to like you back. All you need to do is follow ten little steps. Find out how to make a girl like you without even asking her out.

When a regular guy likes a girl, he wears his heart on his sleeves and asks her out.

But he really doesn’t know if she’s going to accept his proposal or walk all over him.

Being straight forward is a nice way to ask a girl out, but it’s not perfect.

If you want to know how to make a girl like you, you need to know how to do just that without really ever telling her that you like her in the first place.

By asking a girl out, you’re putting her in a spot, probably because she’s never looked at you as a dating potential or because she likes someone else.

But by warming her up and making her want you first, you’d be able to make her like you without ever telling her that you want to go out with her.

How to make a girl like you

When a girl feels comfortable around you, you’re a nice guy.

When she has a great time with you, you’re definitely a great guy.

If she has a great time with you and feels a flutter in her heart when she’s around you, well, you’re definitely on the right track to making her like you.

Most guys try to be nice guys, and there’s really nothing wrong in that. If you want to get a girl to like you, you definitely have to play nice. But as the friendship progresses, you have to learn to subtly move away from the friend zone and let her notice you as a dating potential.

Many guys get this part wrong. They want to go out with a girl, but they never really make any move towards letting the girl know what’s on their mind. And eventually, all that happens is that she gets swept away by some other guy, while they whine about how unfair life is to them. Don’t be that loser of a guy.

Attractive friends and dating potentials

If you have an attractive friend, never let her see you as just a friend, unless you have no intentions of ever dating her or making out with her. But can any guy ever not fall for an attractive cutie, friend or otherwise? I think not.

Girls may find it easier to stay friends with an attractive guy, but guys just can’t. It’s in a man’s competitive nature to woo anyone he finds attractive. But there are exceptions here, like when the girl is already dating another guy, or if she’s so way out of your league that you can’t even think of asking her out.

If you really do like a girl and want to make her like you, you can always overcome the exceptions if you want to. If she’s dating another guy, learn how to steal a girlfriend. And if you think she’s way out of your league, let me tell you something, no girl is ever way out of league for any guy. If you believe in yourself and truly realize that you’re worthy of her, you’ll find a way to leave a lasting impression on her.

Don’t smooth talk all girls you meet

If you want to know how to make a girl like you, you need to stop trying to be a serial flirter. Do you have a friend who flirts with every single girl he meets, even if there are two or more girls at the same time?

Now his flirting abilities may be a gift to die for, but when you publicly flirt with every single friend or girl you meet, you’re not treating one girl any different from the other. All the girls may end up assuming you’re just a serial flirter who just flirts with all his friends.

Making a girl like you the sneaky way

If you want to make a girl like you, she has to believe that you’re treating her differently. By treating her in a special manner, you’ll make her wonder if you’ve got something more than friends on your mind. Really, why else would you treat one friend differently from the others?

And once you get her thinking, you’ve already set the ball in motion. Both of you may be friends, but the doubt of whether both of you are more than friends would create a tingle of sexual excitement and curiosity that can score you big points while pursuing her sneakily.

Don’t flirt and tell

A bit of casual flirting is fun, even among friends. You can flirt and tease all your girl friends, but don’t overdo it. Let all your women friends see you as a cheerful guy who’s a lot of fun to spend time with.

But save your wooing and flirting when you’re alone with a girl. Flirt with her using the sneaky flirting steps I’ve mentioned below and get touchy feely when it’s just the both of you. By keeping it discreet, you get to make an impression on the girl, and no one else even knows about it. The secret flirting can excite the girl you like, and you’re not really asking her out anyways, are you? You’re just indulging in a bit of “friendly flirting”.

If this girl speaks about your flirting with another girl friend, everyone knows you as a cheerful guy who flirts now and then, so no one’s going to believe she’s getting any special treatment from you, and this would only make her get drawn to you even if it’s just to confirm her doubts!

On the other hand, if she keeps the flirting a secret too, it’ll make her feel all the more excited to share a special connection with you.

Either ways, you win!

What’s the next move?

If you want to understand the real secret behind knowing how to make a girl like you, you always need to remember to keep your real intentions of wanting to go out with her a secret until you know she really likes you back.

Asking a girl out straight is easy, but once you do that, you have no control on her decision. And if you do like a girl and want to go out with her, why would you want to leave your hopes to chance?

As chauvinistic as I may sound, girls like a bit of drama and confusion in their life. Create a friend-or-more-than-a-friend drama and watch the pretty picture unfold while having the ball in your court the whole way. And if you play your cards right and take it slow, you’ll know how to make a girl like you back without even expressing your feelings to her!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Tales of Rock: The Most Metal Album Led Zeppelin Recorded

When you look for the origins of heavy metal music, you’ll always find Led Zeppelin as part of the conversation. For all the sweet acoustic ballads and experimentation the band did over the years, the constant on every album was music that got heavy and very loud.

Just ask Geezer Butler, the bass player of metal pioneer Black Sabbath. “Zeppelin paved the way for us,” Butler said. “They were the heaviest thing, up until we came along. They very much started the genre.”

On Zeppelin’s first album, you got several different types of heavy. On “Dazed and Confused,” it was the ominous type that became so popular later. Then there was “Communication Breakdown,” which looked ahead to both metal and punk thrashing.

Led Zeppelin II got even heavier, and the band never shied away from the thunder on subsequent albums. But with Presence, the record that featured almost none of the keyboards and acoustic stylings of the other albums, Zeppelin had its most metal moment.

‘Presence’ contained the metal assault of ‘Achilles Last Stand’ and ‘Nobody’s Fault But Mine.’

Led Zeppelin’s Robert Plant and Jimmy Page perform live onstage in 1972. | Robert Knight Archive/Redferns

You don’t find tunes like “That’s the Way” or even “Babe, I’m Gonna Leave You” on Presence. In fact, you don’t find John Paul Jones on keyboard at all. Jimmy Page, who wrote the majority of the album’s material with Robert Plant, mostly kept his acoustic guitars in their cases, too.

By this point in the band’s life (late 1975), Led Zeppelin had already delivered masterpieces like “Stairway to Heaven” and “Kashmir.” They’d also closed the book on heavy blues interpretations with “In My time of Dying.”

With “Achilles Last Stand,” you got what the title promised: a seasoned warrior not leaving the battlefield before thrashing almost everyone in sight. It was a full metal attack.

Between Jones’s heavy bass, Page’s crushing riff, and the thunder of John Bonham’s drums, there was no mistaking “Achilles” for anything short of metal. Plant’s vocals are the only thing you could describe as subdued here, and by the end he too gets loud.

Then there was the unbridled assault of “Nobody’s Fault But Mine.” On this tune, Plant joins the party in style with full-throated wailing and a sinister harmonica part. Bonham’s vicious drumming on these tunes heavily influenced drummers like Metallica’s Lars Ulrich (see: “One”).

The first record from ‘Physical Graffiti’ is also among Zeppelin’s heaviest offerings.

Led Zeppelin appears at the West Coast premiere for their concert film ‘The Song Remains the Same,’ Hollywood, October 21, 1976. | Frank Edwards/Fotos international/Getty Images

Led Zeppelin didn’t go all-metal for a reason: They considered their music far bigger than that. They never wanted to thought of as one-dimensional. You get a good look at the band’s philosophy on Physical Graffiti, the group’s only double album.

Five of the six tracks go straight at the listener, with Page and Bonham going in for the kill on every song. The exception is “Houses of the Holy,” which obviously came from sessions for the previous album. Had you replaced that “The Wanton Song,” it would be as heavy as Zep ever got.

Of course, the second disc from Physical Graffiti dulled the blow considerably with its acoustic tunes and “Boogie With Stu.” That was the point. And even with monster rockers like “Custard Pie,” the funkiness of Bonham’s drumming stands out.

Put it this way: Led Zeppelin went metal on several occasions (especially on Presence), and metal never got that good again.

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy my new book, Angel with a Broken Wing on Amazon!

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