9 Things That Suck About Bad Boys (And 1 Big Reason Women Stay)

You’re just a good girl with bad dating habits.

The simplest definition I’ve heard of a bad boy is that he’s any guy who’s bad for you, period. I like that definition — it fits well.

The problem is that while a fling with a bad boy can be fun, bad boys are the junk food of the dating world. They’re good for a quick bite in a pinch, but bad for your long term health. And as any dating advice will tell you, ending up in a toxic relationship is something to avoid at all costs.

Here are 10 signs you’ve hooked a bad boy and why you should run before you get your heart broken.

1. He fails to follow through.

He might say that he’ll call or go out with you, but when the time comes, he flakes. He often comes up with lame excuses later, but somehow manages to make up for it just enough to get you to see him another time.

If you call him out on it, he is only slightly apologetic, or acts like you’re the one who is making a big deal out of it.

2. He’s a lone wolf.

You haven’t met his friends or family, and he seems committed to keeping it that way. He doesn’t really talk much about either group. When you ask about his family, he remains tight-lipped and changes the subject.

3. He keeps you off balance.

He should have knobs on his forehead that say “hot” and “cold.” No behavior of his is too small for him to be unpredictable with. One minute you two are in bed, and the next, you’re wondering if he’s disappeared completely.

You can’t get a read on what is happening between the two of you at all since there is no identifiable pattern to your interactions. Late nights are spent talking to your girlfriends, trying to analyze his behavior.

4. He seems to have a pack of women following him.

Even if you’ve never seen or met these women, you can just feel it. When you’re around, he seems interested enough in you, but something about him gives you that feeling that there are other women waiting in the wings.

He may intentionally give you this impression or it may just be a feeling that you get.

5. He has a lot of baggage.

Abusive childhood? Check. Horrible past relationships? Check. Sob stories about being “misunderstood”? Check.

Bad boys often make us feel like if we could just get close to them, we could somehow “fix it” with our love and make their deep well of pain go away. Whether he’s really feeling pain or not, this is a masterful technique, since he manages to just make you feel bad enough for him that you want to stick around and make excuses for his bad behavior.

If he’s “too raw” from his last relationship to call you and follow through with plans, you might have hooked a bad boy.

6. He’s allergic to planning.

The bad boy holds out for the “bigger, better deal” when it comes to plans. This is why he’s so resistant to nailing things down in advance.

He isn’t concerned with scheduling dates since it leaves him in a position to cancel if he meets someone else or simply doesn’t feel like seeing you. He’d rather fly by the seat of his pants and “surprise” you when he’s feeling the urge.

7. He suggests a lot of “hanging out.”

The “date” isn’t really something that he’s interested in, per se. He’d rather suggest that you both “hang out” at his place or yours, so that there is less financial investment, formality and obligation.

It’s also easier to take your clothes off at his house while watching than it is while you’re dining at Le Cirque.

8. He will tell you he’s too conflicted/damaged/busy for a relationship.

The bad boy is perpetually “conflicted” about relationships. He will wax poetic about how he just “can’t do a relationship,” but he’ll keep calling you and trying to hang out. It’s a classic case of him doing one thing and saying another.

He might make you feel like you’re the only one for him, while telling you that he “just got hurt too badly” to start a relationship. When anyone says they don’t want a relationship with you, believe them and run fast.

9. He’s selfish and indifferent.

At no time do you sense that he puts your needs over his own. He’s selfish and indifferent to your feelings.

When you get upset with him over his unpredictable behavior or anything else, he shakes it off. It just doesn’t seem to bother him that you’re upset with him or that he’s responsible for causing a problem.

10. The bedroom is hot.

Bad boys are pros in the sack, which is a massive reason why women even get hooked in the first place. Bedroom prowess alone obviously isn’t a sign that a guy is a bad boy, since tons of good men are wonderful in bed.

But sexual bravado combined with the other signs on this list could signal that you have a problem on your hands.


Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

My new book, Angel with a Broken Wing is now for sale on Amazon!



Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

Philadelphia, PA, USA

Author: phicklephilly

Copyright © 2016 by Phicklephilly All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. All stories and characters are based on real people and events. The names and images have been changed to protect their privacy. Comment Rules: Remember what Fonzie was like? Cool. That’s how we’re gonna be — cool. Critical is fine, but if you’re rude, we’ll delete your stuff. Please do not put your URL in the comment text and please use your PERSONAL name or initials and not your business name, as the latter comes off like spam. Have fun and thanks for adding to the conversation!”

8 thoughts on “9 Things That Suck About Bad Boys (And 1 Big Reason Women Stay)”

  1. Huh! When I was young, I thought and was drawn to the young geeky guy as a safe bet, but they can be worse than your typical bad boy because you just don’t see it coming. So, one never knows.

      1. Yeah. I date one guy that was kind of like that, he left me with a present and I left him after our daughter was born when I realized for her sake that it was not in either of our best interests.
        Now, that I’m old (and I’m happily married) I’d love to have a fling with just one in particular bad boy, but alas… that’ll never happen lol

      2. I’m getting older and have been in Quarantine for the last 4 months. I’m either going to go crazy or stop dating completely at this point.

      3. Sorry about that. It’s gotta be rough when you’re single. I’d be curious to learn if married couples are bonding and connecting more since they’re required to stay in or if it’s pulling them apart. I have heard of some shootings, but in general has it been good or bad on relationships?

      4. Yeah, I figured it would be good, since most folks with busy schedules pull away and lose focus on the relationship with all the distractions they generally contend with.

What are your thoughts on this subject?