As we get older, we find more things changing around us without any real warning. Our priorities shift, our goals shift, our desires for what to do on the weekends shift.
Suddenly, you couldn’t care less about the bar on a Friday night and just want a movie on the couch. Suddenly, you don’t about that one night stand and you just want someone to build a life with. Suddenly, you realize your priorities are changing — and you have to change, too.
Change is hard because it requires losing people and things from our lives, oftentimes people or things that have been a big part of our existence for a long time. But the funny thing is you eventually realize you’re not really losing or giving up anything at all; you’re simply shedding the skin of your life which no longer serves you.
Here are five things you need to “give up” in an effort to learn how to find love. Because to find the woman you’ll eventually realize you wanted all along, there’s self-improvement ahead.
1. His bad habits
Maybe you’re terrible at saving money. Maybe you’re a poor communicator. Maybe you don’t eat as healthy or workout as often as you should.
The point is, to be with the right woman you’ve got to work to become the right man. It’s true that the right woman will love you for who you are, but it’s also true that she’ll hold standards for herself and the man she allows into her life.
2. His need to be right
No relationship is sunshine and rainbows all the time, despite the vision you may get from some of my other articles. There will be disagreements, there will be arguments, and there will be, above all, compromise.
When these situations arise, flexibility is key. You cannot always have things your way and expect a relationship to operate smoothly. It requires give and take from both people.
If either teammate feels the need to constantly be right, they’ll be closed off to hearing and adjusting to their partner’s opinions, and the relationship will implode.
3. His ego
When we’re in our early 20s, we’re invincible. We don’t need anyone. We’re the crème de la crème. But with maturity comes the realization that nobody’s perfect and we have a lot to learn.
Subsequently, we understand that many of these learning experiences come from the woman we will fall in love with, as she brings a fresh perspective to our lives. But in order to open ourselves up to these experiences, we must leave our ego where it belongs: in the past.
4. His immaturity
Maybe your avoidance of commitment or aversion to romance served you well when your weekends were full of bars and clubs, but when you’re building a foundation for a future with a mature, established woman, you must adjust your approach.
Successful couples learn and grow together. They mature as individuals and as a team. To be part of this team, you need to understand that growing up, women didn’t dream of men who gave them a mediocre effort. Give her your passion, love, honesty, and energy.
5. His short-term thinking
When we’re younger, it’s natural to think a little less about the future and a little more about the present. The right woman will understand that it’s difficult to plan a future with someone who has no future plan for themselves. She’ll only want to commit to someone who will pledge to not only support her while she pursues her goals, but who pursues his own as well.
It won’t fly to just “see where things go.” She’ll want a man who she can count on as her teammate in life and in love.
The best part about giving up these things is that you aren’t really losing anything at all. In fact, you’re gaining: wisdom, maturity, and the potential for a more fulfilling happiness than you’d find if you held onto these limiting habits.
What are you really giving up? You’re giving up the boy you were to become the man you were always meant to be.
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