15 Signs That Say A Girl Only Wants Attention, Not You

Signs that your girl only wants your attention, not you

Consider this scenario: You meet a girl and you both really hit it off well. In the beginning, she keeps doing things to get your attention. You do not pay much heed to it and find it cute.

But over time, her behavior becomes desperate and intense. You start doubting her feeling towards you. It seems you are just there in her life to satisfy her ego and you do not really matter to her. If this is a situation that you are facing in your love life, then you are actually the victim of an attention seeking girlfriend.

Who is an attention seeker?

Simply put, an attention seeker is a person who only wants attention from all the people around him/her. He/she probably feels empty and disappointed if they are unable to garner the attention of others. For gaining the attention of others, an attention seeker is actually quite skilled in managing and manipulating people. Socially too, the person is able to adapt very easily.

It seems you are there in her life to just satisfy her ego and you do not really matter to her.

When you are dating an attention seeking girl, you will notice that she will have the power to draw you towards her and keep you by her side, but will never really give you the respect and value that you deserve. She will ensure that you give 100 percent to the relationship and might even make you believe that you both can have a bright future together. But in the end, she genuinely has no interest in being in a relationship with you. She wants you around just to validate her and boost her ego.

Types of attention seekers you meet in the dating world

Attention seekers usually get into relationships in order to make sure that there is someone constantly by their side to praise them and put them on a pedestal. Here are the types of attention seekers that you may find in the dating world.

Merrymaking attention seeker

When you will hang out with this kind of attention seeker, he/she will seem adventurous and fun to you. The merrymaker will instill life and enjoyment in any place or situation whatsoever. But when in a relationship, such merrymaking attention seekers tend to frustrate their partners with their boisterous and loud behavior.

Over sexualized attention seeker

He/she will seem absolutely irresistible to you because of his/her physical appearance and way of speaking. You will feel as if you are lucky to be in a relationship with such a sexy person. However, you might end up being jealous and angry most of the time due to his/her flirtatious behavior.

lady flirting with a man
Always being flirty source

Argumentative attention seeker

This kind loves to dominate others by using his/her debating skills. Partners of argumentative attention seekers generally feel annoyed and drained due to their aggressive ways.

When in a relationship, attention seekers dominate their partners, do not care about how their partners feel regarding their attention seeking attitude and they want attention from not only their partners but others as well. So if you meet a girl and feel that she wants your attention but has a boyfriend, then do not be shocked because this is how an attention seeking girl usually behaves. Better keep your distance from such a girl, because attention seeking is deeply ingrained in the minds of such people.

15 signs a girl only wants your attention and NOT you

An attention seeker is so addicted to attention that he/she can adopt any means to seek the validation and approval of others. If you want to avoid being duped by an attention seeking girlfriend, then look out for these 15 signs which will help you identify an attention seeker in no time.

1. An attention seeker thrives on compliments

A girl seeking only attention from you will work on her appearance and make herself look sexy just to get praise from you and the others around her. She will also unnecessarily make negative remarks in relation to how she looks so that you can compliment her instead. She basically lives on compliments.

2. Bragging is like her favorite hobby

She will exaggerate her achievements and good qualities. She will persistently brag about herself, her life, her job, her family, etc., not to put you down, but just to show you her importance and value. She actually feels the need to be superior to the people around her, so showing off is one way to do so.

lady bragging to get attention
Being a boss Image source

3. She loves creating a scene

Her world comes crumbling down if she has to face even a small problem like a fight with her friend or a bad day at work. She loves creating a scene out of nothing and tells everyone about it. In this way, she keeps getting the attention she wants and you keep being there for her because of genuine interest and concern.

4. An attention seeker is highly active on social media

You will notice that most of the time, the girl will be active on various social media websites like Twitter, Facebook, Instagram etc., and will keep uploading pictures and quotes on her profiles. She does so because she wants people to be in constant touch with her and keep giving her the attention she needs. She will probably not reply to your text messages or call you back. But she will definitely reply to you or tag you on social media posts. This is an absolute sign your girl is attention seeker.

5. She can easily make you and others feel jealous

If she feels that you are losing interest in her then she will bring back your attention towards her by making you feel jealous. She will flirt with your friends in front of you and might even act close with her guy friends. In addition, she can make others jealous by flaunting you in front of her friends. She will become too cozy with you in front of her friends so that they feel uncomfortable and bad. This is a sign she only wants attention.

6. She is never really there for you

She expects you to be there for her at all times. But when you will need her, she will always bail out giving you some lame excuse. She will never give you clear answers to any of the questions you ask, especially if the questions are related to commitments and your future together and will always cook up some story to keep you by her side.

7. An attention seekers opens up very fast

After she meets you and thinks you are the guy she wants attention from, she will actually become way too comfortable with you. She will start sharing her feelings and thoughts with you and behave with you like you are an old acquaintance. If a girl becomes overtly friendly with you in a short span of time then you must be careful, because she might just be an attention seeker.

Signs she is an attenion seeker
Speaking about everything Image Source

8. An attention seeker lacks maturity

At first she might seem like a mature adult to you. But eventually, you will see that she is like a child who constantly needs approval and attention from you. If you fail to do what she wants then she will throw tantrums and irritate you. She will not feel secure about herself and you will have to continuously validate her.

9. She never lets you have ‘me-time’

An attention seeking girlfriend will always want you by her side when she wants it. If you decide to spend time on your own then she will get upset very easily. If you make plans with your friends, then she will either manipulate you to cancel the plan or force you to take her with you. She wants to be the center of your world so she will never let you have me-time.

10. An attention seeker argues a lot

Without any concrete reason, she will start fighting with the others or with you. It is just her way of seeking attention and establishing her superiority over others/you. At the end of the arguments or fights, she will twist the conversations in such a way that all the blame will be on you and she will steer clear of any blame.

11. Flirting just comes naturally to her

Not a day goes by without her flirting with another guy. It is like a routine to her. Even if she is in a relationship with you, she will not shy away from making advances at another guy. This is because attention from one guy is not enough to fill the void in her.

12. She pretends to be nice

A girl thriving on attention pretends to be nice and kind-hearted because she knows this is how she will be able to get the validation from others. So she is extremely good and goes out of the way to help people, just so that they approve of her. But internally, she might not be that kind-hearted at all.

13. An attention seeker seems to know everyone

It seems that people all over the world are her friends. She has so many contacts and acquaintances that you fail to keep up and remember them. Her social media profiles have lengthy friend lists and even if she has not met someone in person, she will behave as if she knows them very well.

14. She likes hanging out in public places

Instead of going out with you for a peaceful and quiet date, she will make plans to go to a nightclub or the hottest place in town. Why? Obviously because she wants to be seen and wants to get attention, so she will prefer public places where other guys might also notice her. This is an absolute sign she is an attention seeker.

couple holding hand in public
Spending time together Image Source

15. Her friends are copies of her

Most of the time, the friends she hangs out with are just like her. They also exhibit the same attention seeking signs, because of which she might actually not let you meet with her friends as well. Very rarely will you find good friends around her and even if good friends are there, they will not able to improve her behavior.

Attention seeking girls are unable to build strong and normal relationships with others because it does not give them the ‘celebrity feel’ or any sense of stimulation. So if you are hoping to create a long lasting relationship with someone, then do not fall into the trap of an attention seeker.

How to handle an attention seeking girl?

A couple of suggestions for those who have fallen for attention seeking girls would be the following: Deal with the entire situation with a lot of patience, self-assurance and self-security, be strong enough to set boundaries in your relationship and do not let it go if she crosses those boundaries, talk to her honestly and let her know that such a behaviour will not be tolerated by you, and finally back off from the relationship. Do not give her the opportunity to use and hurt you. If there is no hope for the relationship then you must have the courage to break up with such a girl.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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8 Reasons You’ve Stopped Having Sex in Your Relationship-And How to Address It

THESE ARE THE MOST COMMON ROMANTIC ROADBLOCKS YOU MIGHT ENCOUNTER.

As a therapist who specializes in modern love and studies the science behind connection, I inquire about the sex lives of dating individuals and couples constantly. What I hear in my sessions mirrors recent data, which indicates an upward trend in the number of U.S. adults who reported having no sex in the past year. That number peaked at 23 percent in 2018, according to a report from the General Social Survey.

Social scientists, psychologists, and economists have weighed in on rationales for the “sex recession,” citing everything from the increase in social media and phone use to newfound awareness of unwelcome and assaultive sex. And while there are surely societal influences that may be impacting our sex lives at large, there are also elements that are unique to our individual relationships. That said, here are some of the most common interpersonal reasons people in relationships stop having sex, as well as how to address them.

1. You focus on cultivating intimacy but not desire.

Desire, our capacity to succumb to our pleasures without guilt or shame, is selfish by definition. On the contrary, long-term relationships are built on mutual respect and mindfulness of the other person’s needs. In order to have a thriving sex life, we must wrestle with the contradictions between our values and our innate desire. Intimacy thrives on security and stability, while desire feeds off newness and is stifled by routine.

One intervention is to find opportunities in your relationship to be sexually transgressive. Consider writing or stating an erotic fantasy to your partner. Identify a new space (room, city, state) to have sex in. Simply talking about breaking the rules, even if you don’t actually break them, can invite a playful and adventurous spirit into your sexual connection.

2. You don’t spend enough quality time together.

In 2010, research from the National Marriage Project found that couples who spend time alone with each other at least once a week are 3.5 times more likely to enjoy above-average levels of sexual satisfaction than spouses who did so less frequently.

Investing time and energy in your relationship promotes a connection and could lead to increased sexual satisfaction. If life feels “too busy” to carve out this time, consider scheduling date nights or sex like you would a meeting or workout class, to ensure it is prioritized.

3. You don’t know what you want—or how to ask for it.

Experiencing pleasure requires that we have a clear sense of what we want. Pleasure is sometimes viewed as self-indulgent and narcissistic, two qualities that most people don’t want to be defined by and therefore resist exploring. But instead of judging our preferences, we must own them. Masturbating on a regular basis can help nurture a relationship with ourselves. Through experimentation, we can identify what feels good and how we like to be touched.

It is our right to have our needs met—and clearly stating our sexual preferences to our partners is like giving them the road map to helping achieve that. Show or tell your partner how to satisfy your needs. You’ll both be better off for it (and so will your relationship).

4. You’re not comfortable with your body.

Several aspects of body image, including weight worries, sexual attractiveness, and preoccupations about the body during sex, predict sexual satisfaction in women, according to 2009 research published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine. Men are also impacted by these concerns; one 2016 study published in Psychology of Men & Masculinity found that around 20 percent of “normal” weight men report hiding an aspect of their body during sex.

This evidence suggests that it is not our bodies themselves that impact our gratification, but rather our feelings toward them. Implementing positive self-talk has not only proven to increase confidence but also to internally remodel the negative grooves in our brains. Additionally, building awareness of what we allow into our field of view by limiting our intake of body “inspiration” on social media can positively impact our self-concept.

5. You’re experiencing a life transition.

In all rites of passage—consider the shift from childlessness to parenthood, singlehood to coupledom, married to divorced, or rebuilding after an affair—there are role exits and entries, where we must let go of an old identity in order to inhabit a new one. Anxiety, depression, and inner conflict tend to ensue when we experience a role transition. Walking into the unknown, even if it’s the most beautiful uncharted territory, is going to ignite fear.

The primordial human response to fear is to self-protect and clamp up. Normalizing this transitory period by removing expectations to behave like you “used to” or “do better” may help you relax and therefore open up sexually. Start by executing small and approachable sensual acts that will support you and your partner in building a track record of success. Couples that view their sexual narratives as continuous know that transition periods are chapters and not endings.

6. Your sex life is a reflection of another impasse in your relationship.

Our sex lives can be a barometer for other roadblocks in the relationship. For example, if you’re constantly being told that what you’re doing is wrong, you may notice a decreased attraction to your partner. Power struggles outside of the bedroom bear down on what transpires beneath the sheets. Underneath each criticism we have about our partners is a wish, an unmet need longing to be granted. To break the negativity cycle, begin to phrase your disapproval as requests. When we state our desires with intention and vulnerability, making it about ourselves rather than others, there is a higher likelihood that they will be well-received and met.

7. Your technology addiction is inhibiting your sex drive.

Modern life provides ample material for stimulation. Having more modes of conveniently accessible distraction on our smartphones can intercept our appetite for human connection. Start to build cognizance of when, where, and how long you are using your phone. Get curious about how your engagement with technology may be distracting you from stressors in your life or impacting the quality of your face-to-face relationships.

Making intentional decisions to engage and disengage from technology—such as removing TVs, laptops, and phones from the bedroom space—may help you have more satisfying experiences with both your digital and human interactions. Keeping the bed sacred for sleep and sex can train the brain to associate this place with these two acts, increasing the likelihood of both.

8. You’re not in the mood (for a variety of reasons).

A lack of sexual desire may be influenced by physiological challenges, psychological issues, or a combination of the two. Certain health conditions, like diabetes, or medications, like anti-depressants, may impact how turned on you feel. Life stressors, subsequent worries, low self-esteem, and a history of sexual abuse can all promote sexual distance. Expressing these mind and body experiences to a trusted partner, friend, or therapist may reduce their grip on the sexual connection.

On top of sharing our truths, building scientific knowledge about how our bodies are wired, may reduce guilt and shame related to low desire or arousal. The sexual response cycle that we witness in movies and other forms of entertainment—which is desire, arousal, and then orgasm—does not align with most of our lived experiences. In consensual sex, many of us do not feel desire or arousal until the act begins. Meanwhile, some individuals may not even be seeking physical satisfaction with sex, but rather emotional closeness. Reducing the pressure to achieve orgasm may enable couples to enjoy more aspects of the journey.

Approaching our sex lives as living, and therefore malleable, gives us permission to change the dynamic at any time. Having the will to revisit the erotic narrative in a relationship encourages us to look deeper into our own desires and those of our partners, having the potential to lead to more and better sex. And if you’re not sure if your sex slowdown is a bigger issue than you might think.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

My new book, Angel with a Broken Wing is now for sale on Amazon!

 

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly