7 Things You Need to Know If You’re Dating Someone With Kids

How to Approach Dating a Person Who Has Children from Another Relationship

Dating someone new definitely has its challenges: assessing your compatibility, getting comfortable enough to let your guard down, discovering your differences, and coping with new relationship anxiety. Add a kid or two into the mix, though, and it’s a whole different ball game.

“Dating someone with kids is a package deal,” says NYC-based relationship expert Susan Winter. “Even when your date has limited or partial custody, their children play a significant role in their long-term partner selection process.”

Not only will their kids probably play influence who they allow into their lives, but it’ll probably affect how they function in a relationship, too.

“They have people that physically and emotionally need them in order to survive,” explains Mike Goldstein, founder of EZ Dating Coach. “You will always be priority number two, no matter how hard you fight for the top spot.”

So if you’re in the midst of getting to know someone with children from a previous relationship, here are a few different things to kind in mind before you get too deep.

1. You may not get as much quality time alone as you’d like

If you’re the kind of person who requires a lot of attention from your partner, you’ll need to come to terms with the fact that other people are also vying for their time. Just how much room they have in their calendar for you will depend on how many kids they have, as well as what their ages are.

Chances are you won’t be able to plan date nights as often as you’d like. Keep in mind, however, that this could also be a positive thing.

“If you love your alone time, this will be a huge bonus for you,” says Goldstein. “And if you enjoy planning, this will be a great exercise in coordination to work around each other’s schedules.”

2. Keeping it casual probably isn’t an option

Point blank, a single parent is more likely to be looking for something serious when dating around.

“Dating involves the possibility of integrating a person into the family system,” explains Winter. “This is done with caution, over time, and with much consideration.”

This is why you should be sure to clarify your intentions early on before you meet their kids.

“It’s important that their kids not be exposed to many people coming in and out of their parent’s life,” adds Dr. Gary Brown, a prominent couples’ therapist in Los Angeles.

On the plus side, as those dating with kids tend not to take the situation lightly, you can rest easy knowing that they’ll be in it for the long haul.

“You get the almost automatic benefit of knowing that the person you are dating is into you because time is precious in their lives, and they will likely not want to spend it with you unless they think there is something meaningful there,” adds Brown.

3. You probably won’t meet the kids right away

Don’t be alarmed if your partner isn’t ready to introduce you to their children right away. After all, they will likely want to make sure the relationship feels stable and you’re both on the same page about the future.

“Parents are naturally protective of their kids and need to screen who they are dating before introducing them to their children,” explains Brown. That’s why he says to make sure you “avoid the tendency to try and push for a premature commitment on their part.”

“You will likely need to take things somewhat slower.” adds Brown.

Rather than pressuring them to let you meet the kids, focus on doing whatever you can to build trust. By doing that, you’ll help them feel ready to take that step.

4. Be prepared for plans to change on a dime

Kids add a certain element of unpredictability to life, so at some point, your partner may need to bail on date night at the last minute.

“Anything can happen that will alter your plans unexpectedly,” explains Winter. “Health issues, school or behavioral problems can eliminate that romantic holiday you booked months ago. That’s why you have to have a flexible disposition to date someone with kids.”

Try not to take it personally when they need to take a rain check. It’s not that they don’t value their plans with you … it’s just that their kids come first.

5. Being spontaneous won’t be easy

And speaking of plans, the best way to handle dating someone with kids is to choose specific dates and times to meet up. As much as you may want to whisk them away for a weekend, that probably isn’t realistic. After all, they may need to make special arrangements in order to spend time with you.

“The two of you may not be able to act as spontaneously as you might like,” says Brown. “That doesn’t mean that you can’t have a night out or a weekend away. It simply means that you will have to take the logistics of child-care into consideration.”

6. The way to their heart might be through their kids

When you start connecting with your partner’s children, don’t be surprised if you see a smile whenever you’re around the little ones. Basically, that twinkle says they’re falling, as for most parents, seeing someone bond and build trust with their kids only strengthens their decision to be with you.

“Your [partner] may very well appreciate it if you take a genuine interest in their children,” says Brown. “This will likely earn you bonus points as their children are very central to their lives.”

On the contrary, Winter notes that if you don’t get along with your partner’s children, that could create some friction that jeopardizes your relationship. While you don’t need to win them over right away, you’ll eventually need to be able to coexist peacefully.

7. Don’t expect constant contact

With technology at our fingertips, we’re used to getting immediate replies to texts, social media messages and so on. But when you date someone with kids, you’ll need to adjust your expectations for response times a bit.

“When you’re a parent, your time isn’t always your own,” notes Brown.

There may be times when your partner is tied up caring for a kid who isn’t feeling well, or helping them with their homework. That means it’s important to understand that they won’t always be able to get back to you right away.

Clearly, there are distinctive drawbacks that come with dating a parent, but there are also numerous benefits as well. Goldstein notes that parents often have a certain level of patience and selflessness that can definitely play to your advantage in a romantic relationship. Not only that, but Brown points out that you’ll have the opportunity to see a different side of your partner. Their title as a parent will allow you to learn a lot more about their character and values early on just by observing how they interact with their children.

“There is always the possibility that you may fall in love not only with the person you are dating, but their kids as well,” adds Brown.

Dating someone with kids can be an incredibly unique and rewarding experience — as long as you keep these particular considerations in mind. And remember: A parent has already given their heart to their children. Now, they have to decide if there’s room for you, too.

 

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Tales of Rock: Every Woman Nikki Sixx Has Dated

This list features information on Nikki Sixx’s dating history. He’s the legendary bassist of Motley Crue, so there’s certainly been a lot of Nikki Sixx relationships. Most of the Nikki Sixx girlfriends have been actresses or models, but some of his romantic interests have also been musicians.

Who has Nikki Sixx dated? Nikki Sixx married his wife Courtney in 2014. In January of 2019, the couple announced that they were expecting their first child together. Sixx has four other children from previous relationships. Baywatch babe Donna D’Errico and Playboy Playmate Brandi Brandt are just two of the many Nikki Sixx exes. Marion Raven was also rumored to be a former Nikki Sixx girlfriend.

Nikki Sixx and Denise Richards dated briefly in late-2010 to early-2011. Other famous women Nikki Sixx dated include Kat Von D, Jenna Jameson, and Vanity.

Did you know that Nikki Sixx had such an impressive dating history? Take a look at this list to learn more about the Nikki Sixx dating history.

Courtney Sixx is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list Every Woman Nikki Sixx Has Dated
Photo: photo_grafitti/flickr/CC-BY-NC-ND 2.0
Courtney Sixx

Nikki Sixx and his wife Courtney have been married since 2014.

In January of 2019, the couple announced that they were expecting their first child together. Sixx has four other children from previous relationships.

Age: 30

Birthplace: Santa Monica, California

Denise Richards is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list Every Woman Nikki Sixx Has Dated
Photo: Metaweb (FB)/GNU Free Documentation License
Denise Richards

Nikki Sixx and Denise Richards dated briefly in late-2010 to early-2011.

Denise Lee Richards (born February 17, 1971) is an American actress and former fashion model. She has appeared in numerous films, including Starship Troopers (1997), Wild Things (1998), The World Is Not Enough (1999) as Bond girl Christmas Jones, Valentine (2001), and Undercover Brother (2002). From 2008 to 2009, she starred on the E! reality show Denise Richards: It’s Complicated. In 2010 and 2011, she was a series regular on the comedy Blue Mountain State. …more on Wikipedia

Age: 48

Birthplace: Downers Grove, Illinois, United States of America

Kat Von D is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list Every Woman Nikki Sixx Has Dated
Photo: Paul Archuleta / FilmMagic/Getty Images
Kat Von D

Nikki Sixx shared images from his relationship with Kat Von D in his book This Is Gonna Hurt: Music, Photography and Life Through The Distorted Lens of Nikki Sixx.

“I felt that being nice and kind to the relationship was important, and I know all things come to an end eventually, and when it did, I didn’t feel that it was my job to point fingers,” Sixx said in a 2011 interview with Us Magazine.

Katherine von Drachenberg, best known as Kat Von D, is a Mexican-born American tattoo artist, model, musician and television personality. She is best known for her work as a tattoo artist on the TLC reality television show LA Ink, which premiered August 7, 2007, in the United States and ran for four seasons. …more on Wikipedia

Age: 36

Birthplace: Montemorelos, Nuevo León, Mexico

Melissa London is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list Every Woman Nikki Sixx Has Dated
Photo: Michael Bezjian / WireImage/Getty Images
Melissa London

In 2010, Nikki Sixx was photographed on a date with Melissa London.

Melissa London is an actor and a film score composer. …more on Wikipedia

Marion Raven is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list Every Woman Nikki Sixx Has Dated
Photo: Patrick McMullan/Getty Images
Marion Raven

Marion Raven was rumored to be dating Nikki Sixx after they collaborated on her solo debut.

“We ended up writing two songs together that will be on the album,” she said in 2004.

Marion Elise Ravn, known as Marion Raven, is a Norwegian singer-songwriter. She was one-half of the now-defunct pop duo M2M, along with Marit Larsen. Raven was later signed as a solo artist by Atlantic Records with the release of her solo debut album, Here I Am in 2005. In 2006, Raven was signed to the indie record label, Eleven Seven, and re-released her debut album with a few new songs, Set Me Free, in 2007. In 2012, Raven began production of her second album titled Songs from a Blackbird, which was released in her home country, Norway on 8 April 2013. Raven has also written tracks for other artists such as Pixie Lott. She has also lent her voice for the Norwegian version of Tangled. In 20… …more on Wikipedia

Age: 34

Birthplace: Lørenskog, Norway

Jenna Jameson is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list Every Woman Nikki Sixx Has Dated
Photo: Thomas Hawk/flickr/CC-BY-NC 2.0
Jenna Jameson

Jenna Jameson is often listed among the names of Nikki Sixx’s rumored past girlfriends.

Jenna Jameson is an American entrepreneur, webcam model and former adult movie actress, who has been called the world’s most famous adult-entertainment performer. She started acting in adult videos in 1993 after having worked as a stripper and glamor model. By 1996, she had won the “top newcomer” award from each of the three major adult-movie organizations. She has since won more than 35 adult-video awards, and has been inducted into the X-Rated Critics Organization and Adult Video News Halls of Fame. Jameson founded the adult-entertainment company ClubJenna in 2000 with Jay Grdina, whom she later married and divorced. …more on Wikipedia

Age: 44

Birthplace: Las Vegas, Nevada, United States of America

Samantha Maloney is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list Every Woman Nikki Sixx Has Dated
Photo: via Wikimedia Commons
Samantha Maloney

Nikki Sixx was rumored to have cheated on his wife Donna D’Errico with Samantha Maloney, who drummed with Motley Crue during their New Tattoo Tour.

Samantha Maloney is an American musician best known for playing in the bands Hole, Mötley Crüe, Eagles of Death Metal and in Peaches’ live band “The Herms”. …more on Wikipedia

Age: 43

Birthplace: New York City, USA, New York

Donna D'Errico is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list Every Woman Nikki Sixx Has Dated
Photo: SGranitz / WireImage/Getty Images
Donna D’Errico

In 2006, Donna D’Errico filed for divorce from Nikki Sixx after nine years of marriage.

Age: 51

Birthplace: Dothan, Alabama

Brandi Brandt is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list Every Woman Nikki Sixx Has Dated
Photo: Jeff Kravitz / FilmMagic, Inc/Getty Images
Brandi Brandt

Brandi Brandt and Nikki Sixx were married from 1989 until 1996. They have three children together.

Brandi Brandt is an American model and actress, who was Playboy’s Playmate of the Month for October 1987. …more on Wikipedia

Age: 50

Birthplace: Santa Clara, California, United States of America

Lisa Hartman Black is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list Every Woman Nikki Sixx Has Dated
Photo: ABC Television/Wikimedia Commons/Public Domain
Lisa Hartman Black

Nikki Sixx reportedly went on a date with Lisa Hartman Black back in 1988.

Lisa Hartman Black is an American actress and singer. …more on Wikipedia

Age: 62

Birthplace: Houston, Texas, United States of America

Brie Howard

Nikki Sixx reportedly “rolled around with” Brie Howard when she was a back-up singer. He later married Howard’s daughter Brandi Brandt.

Brie Howard is an American musician and actress. She has also appeared or been credited under the names Brie Brandt, Brie Berry, Brie Darling, and Brie Howard Darling. Howard played in the pioneering all-woman rock band Fanny, the first all-woman rock band to release an album on a major label. She played drums for the high school band the Svelts, which included future Fanny members June Millington and Jean Millington, and played drums in Fanny itself toward the end of their run, around the time of their final album. She has also been a singer and percussionist with the American Girls, and the lead singer of the Boxing Gandhis. Howard starred opposite Klaus Kinski in Aaron Lipstadt’s sci-fi f… …more on Wikipedia

Age: 69

Cindy Rome

Nikki Sixx reportedly took Cindy Rome with him to Vince Neil’s wedding in 1988.

Age: 60

 

Dee Holland

Dee Holland has spoken about dating Nikki Sixx during the recording of the Girls, Girls, Girls album.

Age: 54

Vanity is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list Every Woman Nikki Sixx Has Dated
Photo: Metaweb (FB)/GNU Free Documentation License
Vanity

“Our relationship was one of the strangest, most self-destructive ones I’ve ever had,” wrote Nikki Sixx of Vanity, in his book Motley Crue: The Dirt.

Denise Katrina Matthews, formerly known as Vanity and sometimes credited as Denise Matthews-Smith or D.D. Winters, is a Canadian former singer, songwriter, dancer, actress, and model who has turned away from performing to concentrate on evangelism. Vanity’s career lasted from the 1980s until the early mid-’90s. She was the lead singer of the female trio Vanity 6 from 1981 until it disbanded in 1983. The group was well known for their 1982 R&B/funk hit “Nasty Girl”. Vanity’s music career, also included two solo albums on Motown Records; Wild Animal and Skin on Skin, as well as the hit singles, “Pretty Mess”, “Mechanical Emotion”, and “Under the Influence”. She also had a successful acting car… …more on Wikipedia

Age: 60

Birthplace: Niagara Falls, Canada

Jane Dickinson

Nikki Sixx claims that he didn’t know that Jane Dickinson was married to Iron Maiden musician Bruce Dickinson when they briefly linked up.

Rita Rae Roxx

Rita Rae Roxx wrote about her encounters with Nikki Sixx – and other rockers – in her book Once Upon a Rock Star.

Lita Ford is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list Every Woman Nikki Sixx Has Dated
Photo: Ethan Miller/Getty Images
Lita Ford

Lita Ford wrote about her encounter with Nikki Sixx in her memoir Living Like a Runaway.

 

Lita Rossana Ford is a British-American rock guitarist, vocalist and songwriter, who was the lead guitarist for The Runaways in the late 1970s before embarking on a solo career in the 1980s. …more on Wikipedia

Age: 60

Birthplace: Europe, Eurasia, United Kingdom, London, England, + more

Lynn Pierre

Nikki Sixx and Lynn Pierre dated in the 1980s.

Laurie Bell

The Orchids drummer Laurie Bell was rumored to have dated Nikki Sixx.

Angie Saxon

NIkki Sixx’s ex-girlfriend Angie Saxon actually helped him come up with his stage name.

“I used to date this girl, Angie Saxon. I was going through her scrapbook and I saw a guy that she used to date named Niki Syxx in a band called Jon & the Nightriders. So I stole his name. I just liked it,” he said in a 2007 interview.

Sarah Hopper

Nikki Sixx dated Sarah Hopper when he was in high school. In his book The Dirt, her refers to her as “a fat, freckled girl with glasses, no cutoff shorts, and legs that looked more like pasty semicircles than golden arches.”

Dinah Cancer is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list Every Woman Nikki Sixx Has Dated
Photo: Metaweb (FB)/GNU Free Documentation License
Dinah Cancer

Rumor has it, 45 Grave musician Dinah Cancer dated Nikki Sixx.

Dinah Cancer is the stage name of Mary Ann Sims, a vocalist, best known for her band 45 Grave, which helped found the musical genre known as “deathrock”. …more on Wikipedia

Age: 58

Birthplace: California

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

My new book, Angel with a Broken Wing is now for sale on Amazon!

 

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

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