Having a crush on a colleague is hard. You see them every day! Learn how to flirt with a coworker subtly, if you want to move things along.
Ah, that awkward but common situation—having a crush on someone you work with. We’ve all been there at some stage, but did you ever try to move things along and find out if they felt the same way? If so, did it work? If it didn’t, learn how to flirt with a coworker subtly.
The biggest problem with this situation is that if you flirt up a storm and it doesn’t go your way, you continue to see them on a daily basis. It may make life difficult and embarrassing, and as a result, your work may suffer.
Of course, that’s the negative side. The positive? They might feel the same way and you could find yourselves the new hottest couple on the block!
Know your office HR policies
Learning how to flirt with a coworker is about subtleness. It’s a difficult line to walk in many ways, but with a little practice and dedication, you’ll get there. But first, are you actually allowed to have relationships with coworkers?
Not every workplace allows relationships between coworkers, and it varies from place to place as to whether it’s prohibited or allowed. While most workplaces are a little more lenient these days than they were before, it’s still an unspoken rule in many cases.
It could also be that relationships or unions between different staff grades are frowned upon. You can argue until you’re blue in the face whether it’s right or not, but rules are rules. If your job is important to you *hopefully it will be*, then you need to know where you stand before you even attempt to try and flirt up a storm with the apple of your eye.
Most workplaces have a code of conduct manual or document so simply check things out beforehand, but in the most subtle of ways!
Assuming you’ve done that and you know that coworker dalliances aren’t frowned upon, what else do you need to know? Oh, the fact that you’re potentially playing with fire.
Yes, more negatives, but I want you to be armed and prepared before you go into flirting battle.
What if it goes wrong?
I hate being negative, but think about the possibility that either this person doesn’t like you back in the same way, or things go well and suddenly turns sour. Remember, relationships or not, hook up or not, you see this person on a daily basis at work and that could be excruciating for you in some situations.
Your job is important, and whether or not you see yourself staying with that company for the rest of your working days or not, it’s important to be professional and do your best while there. You’re not going to be able to do that if you cringe every time they walk into the office. This could be even worse if you must work very closely with this person.
Of course, it could be equally as excruciating if your crush turns into a full blown love that you must keep quiet because you’re working with this person, and you’re scared to make a move.
The only thing you can do is go with what feels right and what you know you can live with. I had a crush on one of my work colleagues. I told him after we’d bumped into each other in a bar and had a drunken kiss that literally made my life up until that point.
It didn’t work out for me, and it was so embarrassing for so long, but thankfully I didn’t have to work closely with him. I got over it, and while I no longer work there, that wasn’t the reason I left.
So, make your decision, and move towards the successful, but subtle, flirting plan.
How to flirt with a coworker in a subtle, yet successful way
There are four main areas to this tactic:
#1 Body language.
#2 Selective verbal clues.
#3 Creating an air of mystery and sexual tension.
#4 Taking the flirting out of the workplace.
Body language and selective verbal clues are things you can do every single day. It builds up the mystery and sexual tension, which can be taken out of the workplace. For example, suggesting you meet up for a drink after work to discuss a project. Of course, you’re not going to discuss a project, you’re going to flirt a little harder!
Remember, learning how to flirt with a coworker is all about being subtle. Whether or not relationships and unions are allowed in your workplace or not, don’t go around being blatantly obvious about what you want. You are being paid to be professional at work!
A few useful ways to use body language and selective verbal clues are:
– Make eye contact when you speak
– Gently touch them on the arm when you’re speaking
– Bite your lip when you’re listening to them talk
– Show interest in what they have to say
– Get them a coffee or a drink whenever you get one for yourself
– Ask them how their evening was on a regular basis, i.e. showing interest
– Nudge them gently in a playful manner
– Identify mutual hobbies or things of interest and focus on talking about them
As you can see, these aren’t ‘in your face’ flirting techniques. They do get you closer to your crush and show a connection you don’t have with anyone else. By doing this, you create a little tension. Take the flirting up a notch, with eye contact, gentle touching, and lip biting.
Obviously, I don’t have to tell you that you shouldn’t go around touching people if they don’t seem comfortable with it, or in a way which would be deemed inappropriate. Remember, you’re at work! A gentle, but fleeting, hand on the arm when making a point is as far as you should go.
Time to take the plunge
Once you’re sure that your coworker has grasped the idea that you’re flirting and not just being very friendly, and you see signs of flirting coming back your way, suggest a meeting outside of work. Now, as subtle as the rest of the flirting has been, continue the theme when you ask them out.
Keep work ingrained within it if you can. You can back out if they refuse. This will save your face in a big way!
For instance, suggest you meet for a coffee or a drink in the bar across the road after work to continue brainstorming ideas for the project you’re both working on. Or, mention that you’re going to a new bar and they should pop in and check it out for themselves if they’re in the area. Keep it casual. Don’t let on that it’s actually a date you’re suggesting.
Learning how to flirt with a coworker can be difficult. You might not feel you’re showing your crush that you’re interested. The subtle route lets you veil your attempts, providing you an embarrassment safety net.
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