Ah yes, the agony of recognizing the signs of breadcrumbing in a budding romance! But before we get there, if you’ve never heard of this term, well, in some cases, it’s a good thing.
But if this has happened to you, obviously, you want to know the name for it. Have you ever met someone, and there was this click? The conversation is going really well, and in your head, you think something good may come out of this.
You two are texting all the time, even talking on the phone, but nothing goes past that. They’re not asking to see you, not making any new plans – nothing. And maybe you’re still talking to them right now. Well, if this has or is happening to you, this is called breadcrumbing.
What is breadcrumbing?
So what is breadcrumbing exactly? Well, breadcrumbing is when someone is consciously leading another person on for the excitement and ego boost. A breadcrumber will flirt, engage in conversation, doing everything they can to get you hooked.
And then once that happens, they toy around with you, playing hot and cold games. I know it sucks. It’s always a good feeling when someone is interested in you, and there’s a good connection. But, you don’t want that person to do it because of ego. If you want to know if you’re being breadcrumbed, take a look at these signs of breadcrumbing. That way, you can quit while you’re ahead.
The 12 most obvious signs of breadcrumbing that can’t be missed
Learn the signs of breadcrumbing to avoid it happening to you.
#1 They play hot and cold games. Ah yes, the classic ‘hot and cold’ games. This is something they’re masters of and is a very clear sign you’re being breadcrumbed. One day, they’re very chatty, texting with you non-stop, making you feel like you’re the only one. And the next day, it’s like you don’t exist. This happens again and again, over and over.
#2 They use different ways to breadcrumb you. Here’s the thing, when someone is breadcrumbing you, they’re not just sticking to one form of breadcrumbing. Instead, they’ll keep you ‘seen’ on Whatsapp, but then they’ll like your photo on Instagram or comment on a Facebook post. That way, they maintain on your radar, so you can never really forget or move on from them.
#3 Your conversations are shallow. This doesn’t mean you’re shallow. Sure, you two may have had a deeper conversation now and again, but when you really take a look at what you two talk about, there’s not much going on. In reality, your conversations with them are simple and shallow. They’re not investing too much energy in getting to know you.
#4 They’re seeing other people. If they’re seeing other people while texting you, they’re clearly breadcrumbing you. Now, if they’re in an open relationship and you’re aware of that, this is something different. But if they’re not, it’s clear they’re keeping their options open, and you’re just one of them. They want to date a lot of people without looking like a jerk, so they tell you they’re casually dating.
#5 They don’t ask to see you. If someone likes you, they’re going to make time to see you. It’s really that simple. If someone isn’t investing time to hang out with you, they’re not interested in you.
Yeah, I know the flirting is giving you a different impression, but look at their actions, not words. They could have all the free time in the world, but they still don’t take the time to see you.
#6 They know exactly when you’re getting over them. Here’s the thing, when you’re almost getting over them, they contact you. It’s funny how that works. It’s like they have a clock inside of them that alerts them when people move on. Maybe it’s their psychic abilities, or they’ve recently crept you on social media. But I can put money on it that this is when they’ll contact you again.
#7 The only time they talk to you is for something. When they text you, do they ever do that just to see how you are? Probably not. Instead, they only text you when they need something. What I mean by ‘something’ is usually sex. They’ll send you flirtatious jokes, and ask you a question or two, but give it a couple of minutes, and you’ll see their true intentions.
#8 They booty call you. Now, a booty call doesn’t necessarily mean you’re being breadcrumbed. If you two both agreed on casual sex, then it’s fine. But if not, then that’s something else. You don’t hear from them in ages, and then all of a sudden, late at night, you get a suspicious text from them. And this is the “booty call” text.
#9 They bail on your agreed plans. You two have made plans to see each other, but at the last minute, they’ve canceled on you. If this happens once, it’s fine. But if this becomes a routine act on their part, you’re being breadcrumbed. They have no intention of meeting you ever, unless it’s for sex, of course.
#10 You don’t feel good about yourself. When you have a conversation with them, you don’t feel good about it. At the moment, flirting felt nice, but when the conversation ends, you feel disappointed. The feeling of sadness and disappointment aren’t signs of a healthy relationship. This person shouldn’t be making you feel these negative emotions.
#11 They’re passive-aggressive when you confront them. No one wants to be caught when playing a mean game. Maybe you’ve confronted them about their actions; as a response, they’re passive-aggressive and manipulative. Listen, you know what’s going on, so don’t let their response affect you. Listen and follow your gut instinct.
#12 You wonder what you did wrong. First of all, you did nothing wrong. But every time you talk to them, you feel like you may have said something that turned them off. That’s not the case, that’s part of the game. It’s easier for them to have you blame yourself than point the finger at them.
It’s easy to be confused when you’re experiencing the hot and cold behavior of someone who’s playing you and trying to breadcrumb you. But remember, whenever you go through these cycles of confusion and stress, it’s usually them and not you.
No one likes to be breadcrumbed, and knowing the signs of breadcrumbing will help you avoid having this happen to yourself.
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