Woman Gives Her Number To A Guy On Tinder, Gets Pleasantly Surprised When He Starts Sending Her Photos Of His Rocks

Swiping through Tinder is like playing roulette. You never know who the person you matched with really is. They can turn out to be a creep, sending you unsolicited pics of their genitals, or worse…you might run into someone who doesn’t like animals.

So, when Tumblr user softandanxious gave her number to one guy off Tinder, she knew she was gambling. But luck was on her side, and softandanxious learned that she ran into a rock enthusiast. And not just a passionate fellow who mentions his hobby here and there. No no. The guy won’t stop sending her pictures of his collection. However, the girl isn’t mad. On the contrary, she thinks it’s the best thing that has ever come out of the app. And when you read their conversation and see the genuine enthusiasm the dude has, you’ll probably come to the same conclusion as well.

Image credits: softandanxious

And if you think that softandanxious has low expectations for Tinder, she isn’t the only app user who has lost hope in it. According to one study, about 21% of female matches send a message, whereas only 7% of male matches send a message. Thus, if you connect with someone, chances are you won’t even have a chat with them. “It, therefore, seems that, rather than pre-filtering their mates via the like feature, many male users like in a relatively non-selective way and post-filter after a match has been obtained. This gaming of the system undermines its operation and likely leads to much frustration,” the researchers wrote.

So let’s congratulate softandanxious. In a world of digital dating disappointment, she struck gold. Errr, I mean rock.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Does Your Ex Still Think About You? How To Find Out — And Reconnect After A Breakup

Do they still care about you?

After a breakup, it seems like you and your ex have already gone your separate ways.

Or, maybe your ex never even knew you to begin with.

So, you can’t help but wonder if, on the other side of this icy wall of silence, does your ex ever even think about you at all?

Cutting straight to the chase, yes, your ex most likely still thinks about you.

If you’ve shared a part of your life with someone, they aren’t going to completely forget that you ever existed.

They will think back to your time together and may even remember all the positive experiences that the two of you have had.

Yes, there may be pain and hurt associated with all of that, but they certainly do still think of you.

But, do they still care or even love you?

I know that you’re probably not just wondering if your ex happens to have thoughts about you — you want to know if they still feel something for you.

Do they miss you the way that you miss them?

The truth is that, yes, if they are being honest, they probably do still feel some emotions toward you.

They may even regret that the breakup happened that ended your relationship.

And they may feel a lot of hurt and heartbreak, still.

But they probably also know, if they are being honest with themselves, that there were positive moments that the two of you shared together — and they probably miss those times.

In fact, they are hiding the pain behind an emotional armor.

Granted, they may not let their mind veer in those directions. They may be so addicted to the story that they tell themselves about the hurt that they experienced that they just don’t let themselves acknowledge that pain.

But, you can rest assured that your ex does have feelings for you.

They may just be hidden behind pain, hurt, frustration, anger, or any other emotions that may still be lingering from the breakup.

How do you get through their emotional armor, then?

If you want to know how to get your ex back and connect again so you can explore what might be possible for the two of you, you are going to need to meet them where they are at, emotionally.

Yes, the two of you have your history.

And yes, there may be hurt and pain that is still lingering there.

But, just because there was love once doesn’t mean they want to get back together. You also have to see things from their point of view and be willing to relate to them with understanding and compassion.

Once they are able to see that you are willing to meet them where they are at emotionally, they’ll be much more likely to release the pain and hurt that they are holding on to.

And once they are able to do this, they’ll be receptive to talking to you again.

It starts by connecting on an emotional level.

You need to get past the complex feelings that both of you are probably experiencing.

And, of course, they may not be in a place in their life where they are able or willing to explore what might be possible between the two of you.

But you’ll never know for certain unless you’re willing to set aside pride and be emotionally honest and vulnerable.

Here’s an important piece of dating advice you need to heed if you want your ex back.

When you break up with someone, it doesn’t always mean you’re done for good.

Instead, take a chance and open yourself up to resolving the pain from the past.

You just never know what you might experience as a result.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Tales of Rock – 35 High School Yearbook Photos of Rock Stars

They were once regular high school kids, right? Some of them didn’t even look that cool dude with a rock star potential. Some though still managed to look cool like Dimebag Darrell Lance Abbott or Wes Borland. The others? Not so much.

We rounded up a gaggle of funny photos of famous heavy metal, hard and alternative rock stars before they became music legends. The result is this most fascinating list that confirms what we already knew: any uncool-looking kid can become a rock star someday.

Check them out and enjoy!

1. Steven Tyler (Aerosmith)

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2. Axl Rose (Guns N’ Roses)

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3. Kurt Cobain (Nirvana)

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4. Marilyn Manson

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5. James Hetfield (Metallica)

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6. Jon Bon Jovi

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7. Kid Rock

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8. Kirk Hammet (Metallica)

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9. Alice Cooper

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10. Tommy Lee (Mötley Crüe)

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11. Slash (Guns N’ Roses)

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12. Izzy Stradlin (Guns N’ Roses)

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13. Trent Reznor (Nine Inch Nails)

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14. Zakk Wylde (Black Label Society)

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15. Zack de la Rocha (Rage Against the Machine)

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16. Wes Borland (Limp Bizkit)

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17. Vince Neill (Mötley Crüe)

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18. Glenn Danzig (Misfits)

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19. Mike Patton (Faith No More)

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20. Chester Bennington (Linkin Park)

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21. Dave Mustaine (Megadeth)

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22. Scott Weiland (Stone Temple Pilots)

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23. Tom Morello (Rage Against the Machine)

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24. Paul Stanley (Kiss)

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25. Fred Durst (Limp Bizkit)

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26. Corey Taylor (Slipknot)

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27. Ronnie James Dio (Black Sabbath)

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28. Billy Corgan (Smashing Pumpkins)

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29. Dimebag Darrell Lance Abbott (Pantera)

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30. Randy Rhoads (Quiet Riot)

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31. Jonathan Davis (Korn)

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32. Eddie Van Halen

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33. Les Claypool (Primus)

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34. Daron Malakian (System of a Down)

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35. Gene Simmons (Kiss)

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Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Why Sexual Rejection in Relationships Is Not a Joke

Just because sex is involved doesn’t make it ridiculous, primitive or dirty.

We all have a particular picture in our heads of what kind of relationship we want to have with a romantic partner. We imagine that we enjoy the same kinds of activities so we can have lots of fun together or set similar goals for our lives so we can support each other in achieving them. Whatever your criteria, there is one thing almost all of us value and want: a good sex life. And yet, it is the main cause of relationship conflict and breakdown.

In the early stages of a relationship, both partners are usually excited by the newness of the other person and the experiences they have together. Desire is effortlessly present and sex comes naturally. It is something that is welcomed, valued, and prioritized.

Many couples find that by the end of their first year together their sex life looks dramatically different from how it did when they first got together. This is in itself not an issue if it is not an issue for either of the partners.

Unfortunately, though, it often is for one of them: the one who craves more physical and sexual closeness and intimacy. This role is stereotypically reserved for the male partner in a heterosexual relationship.

There are thousands of jokes about the stereotypical scenario in which the man begs for sex from his female partner who feels too tired or too ill to engage in sex with him. The jokes always end with him being rejected. But nothing tells us about how he feels.

Does he just accept it, roll over and sleep? Does he see it as rejection and consequently feels angry or sad? Does he build up resentment for being told no one more than one occasion? Does he stay quiet because he knows he isn’t entitled to sex and can’t just demand it?

Or does he feel ashamed of his desire to be physically intimate with his partner? Does he feel that he shouldn’t feel the way he’s feeling? That he has no right to be disappointed or frustrated? That he shouldn’t want what he wants?

Or does he blame his partner and see her as the source of his distress? Does he try to punish her for taking his desires outside the relationship or resorting to porn? Does he feel like he has no other choice?

Does he wonder if he will ever get the love and relationship he craves? Is this his attempt to create closeness and connection but has been told that it is somehow a more basic and primitive way of connecting? Does he think about leaving and looking for someone else who desires him as much as he desires her?

Does he fear that he will never have the experiences with his partner that he wants to have? Does he fear that he is wasted on her? That they are just too incompatible to have a well-rounded, mutually satisfying and fulfilling relationship?

Does he fear that what he wants he simply cannot have with his partner?

We don’t know what goes on for any individual – it might be one of those things, all of those, or maybe even none of them. Maybe it’s something completely different. But it is, without any doubt whatsoever, the time we stop making jokes about being sexually rejected.

It is time we stop shaming and ridiculing human desires – whether they are sexual or not.

Desiring someone is not shameful. Having sexual feelings for someone is not shameful. It is not primitive either. It is human nature.

We live in an era of emotional vulnerability in which we are attempting to destigmatize our struggles with our insecurities and emotions and yet we still minimize a man’s feelings about being sexually rejected and frustrated within his mutually agreed upon relationship.

Most male clients who struggle with this suffer in silence. They don’t know how to solve this problem and how to approach their partner. They are considerate men who don’t want to be labeled as selfish or perverted. They are healthy adult men who want to express themselves emotionally and sexually within their relationship.

They are understanding towards their partners and do not want to burden them but they cannot deny their own desires and frustrations. They also do not want to be the butt of a joke or admit that the fear that their partner does not desire them. It is a sensitive issue and it is time we all begin to respect it.

Because the men I work with are suffering. They are good guys who are genuinely distressed. Just because sex is involved doesn’t make it ridiculous, primitive, or dirty. It doesn’t make it something they should just get over.

It makes it something we all need to begin to acknowledge and validate.

Because it means something. It is a bid for connection. It is what we are asking our men to do and yet, we reject it and even joke about it.

A bid for connection is no less valuable just because it is sexual in nature and just like any other bid for connection it needs to be responded to in loving and considerate ways.

This does not mean that we have to have sex whenever our partner wants it. It means that we need to find additional ways of connecting. It means we need to take the time to make space for connection, whatever that may look like for you.

It is not an issue one partner has to solve in solitude. It is a joint venture that both partners can benefit from if they see it as a valuable opportunity to grow together and strengthen their bond. It allows us to get curious, explore and find new solutions together.

Because minimizing, ridiculing, and shaming someone’s sexual desire for us is not a solution. It does not make it just go away. What it does do is to communicate to our partner that we are not interested in solving a problem that really concerns both of us.

We push our responsibility as a partner away and make it the sole problem of the other person instead of caring about them and our relationship. Tackling this challenge does not mean having to give in or engaging in obligation sex.

It means responding to each other in respectful and loving ways so we can connect emotionally in a way that feels soothing and reassuring. That alone usually results in more intimacy, which makes us feel closer to each other and often helps us want to engage in consensual sex.

But it is not the end goal. The end goal is always a connection, whether we are aware of it or not.

The opposite of connection is a shame, so when your partner comes to you in an attempt to connect – whether that’s sexual or not – don’t shame them for it. Connect with them how you want to but don’t ridicule them. Don’t reject them in shaming ways.

Because the pain of sexual rejection is real. It is as valid as any pain and therefore needs to be seen and validated.

The emotional vulnerability we seek from our men is often presented to us in ways we don’t anticipate. That doesn’t mean it isn’t valid. If we really want to have happy relationships and the emotional connection we say we want to have, we need to attune and respond in loving ways, not shaming ones.

And then we need to seek mutually beneficial solutions together. Because they do exist and make jokes redundant.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

If You’re Frustrated With Dating Apps, Try This Before Deleting Them

Depending on your history with dating apps, you may either love them or hate them. On the one hand, they’re an awesome way to connect with people you would probably never otherwise meet. However, if you’re frustrated with dating apps, either because you’re not getting any matches or because conversations with the ones you are getting end up fizzling out, dating apps can get real tired, real fast. How do some people meet the love of their life on their very first Bumble date, while others spend literal years just fruitlessly swiping? Before you rush to delete all your apps and proclaim an indefinite break from dating, try revising your dating app strategy. You’d be surprised at how small changes to your profile can make a big difference in your matching success.

The tough thing about connecting with someone through a screen is that you can’t really get a sense of their vibe. So much of chemistry is determined by how well you interact in person, on an actual date with a real, live human being. On dating apps, users have to make quick judgement calls based on a few photos and a short bio. No wonder it can feel impossible to meet that perfect person! If your profile doesn’t immediately catch people’s eye, you may lose out on potential connections that would have been great IRL.

What I’m trying to say here is that your profile matters, and it matters a lot. To get more promising matches, try revising your profile to reflect your most authentic personality. “Be specific about yourself,” says Michelle McSweeney, a linguist, and researcher who studies the way people communicate digitally. McSweeney tells Elite Daily that adding quirky details about yourself in your bio can be helpful. “It gives the person reading a much better picture of who you are,” she says. Lots of people like long walks on the beach and guacamole with margaritas — those things aren’t really what makes you you. Do you have a specific recipe you can’t get enough of? What about a favorite place to spend time outside?

McSweeney says these details help make you seem more real, not just an onscreen avatar. “Part of the profile is developing trust — at least enough to meet in person,” she notes. “These small details help establish trust by showing that you are a real person who does things in the real, physical world.” This practice is called “warranting,” and it helps ground you to others and make you more relatable.

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Avoid using your profile to highlight all your biggest accomplishments. This might seem counterintuitive, but dating apps aren’t like Instagram — more curation is not necessarily better. “By presenting only the ‘best of’ reel, it shows prospective matches that you have a more exciting life than they can likely keep up with,” McSweeney says. “If the goal is a relationship, highlight the mundane things, too, because that’s what you’ll really be doing.” Don’t proclaim that you’re always out dancing if you’d rather spend your evenings with popcorn at the movies. If your dream first date is a trip to the art museum, include that detail. The only people you need to impress are the ones you might be compatible with, so don’t worry about listing out all your major achievements. Your unfiltered personality matters more.

Everyone is on apps for a slightly different reason, so it helps to state clearly what kind of relationship you’re looking for. “We should all be honest in our bios, and if that turns people away, it’s fewer people to sift through,” McSweeney says. This doesn’t mean you have to write, “I hope to meet someone with brown hair and a shoulder tattoo, get married in three years, and settle down with two children and a golden retriever.” More generally, what type of companionship would make you happy? “The key to this is to make it about activities rather than the type of person,” McSweeney explains. “So, if you love watching movies, you’re likely looking for someone to watch movies with you.”

You’re not looking for a specific type of person, but rather a person who is willing to do specific things with you. “It’s unlikely you will like someone strictly based on one dimension of their personality, and that’s what we’re saying when we say we’re looking for “X” type of person,” McSweeney says. “When we say we’re looking for someone to do “Y” with, we’re saying that we want someone who is multidimensional.” If you write in your bio that you’re looking for a hiking buddy, you’re opening the door for someone to message you about going hiking. You two share an interest, and now you also have a great first-date idea. It’s a win-win situation.

Don’t be afraid to make your profile a little different from the average Joe’s. “I’ve seen great bios where people talk about their love of punctuation, how they enjoy a specific episode of a show or some quirky thing they like to cook,” McSweeney says. “These details are rich and help people connect to you as the interesting and multidimensional person you are.” You’re much more nuanced than an online profile can show, but if you pique people’s interests, they’ll want to learn more about you. That’s the first step toward getting matches that translate to killer chemistry.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1