The Importance Of Intimacy For Women Over 50

Humans are social creatures and need to have intimacy in their lives. The problem is that as we age, intimacy starts to become hard to come by. When a woman over 50 lacks intimacy it can have profound negative effects on their life. They tend to withdraw socially, have lower self-esteem and increased anxiety.

Intimacy can take many forms and all of them are essential to having a healthy life emotionally and physically in our twilight years. In fact, an increase in intimacy can add years to a person’s life as they age.

Here LivingBetter50 discusses what intimacy can mean and why it’s so important to women over 50.

What is intimacy

There are many ways that people are intimate. The most obvious way is sexual as sex covers many of the aspects of intimacy rolled into one act. Yes, the elderly should also be sexually active as it promotes good mental and physical health. There are some obstacles to being sexually active as a senior citizen and sometimes enhancements from something called Kamagra, or Viagra are needed. But, whatever it takes to be more sexually active is fine.

Intimacy involves touching and being touched. The feeling of closeness with another person, whether it is a family member or spouse, is very important.

Improves health

Being intimate is a wonderful way to improve your health at any age. When you are older it is no different. In fact, having sex regularly can add years to your life. It is good for heart health and can help prevent cardiovascular disease. It reduces stress which directly increases our health. Stress can lead to high blood pressure and heart disease. Even the risk of stroke is higher when you have a lot of stress.

Just like exercise, it releases endorphins which help reduce pain and inflammation. As we get older, joints are often a source of pain. That can be reduced by having more regular sex.

Reduces depression

The elderly are at high risk of depression. Many people find themselves lacking a purpose if they don’t have much family around and no longer work. Being more intimate can help keep depression at bay. It boosts self-esteem and the endorphins released help reduce anxiety. Hugging, caressing and sex can all be forms of therapy.

Intimacy can often lead to having more sex. Usually, when older people start having sex, they also become more active in general. Being active is a key to warding off depression.

Appreciating your body again

Many older people think they are no longer attractive and sex is no longer an option because of that. It only takes having sex a few times to feel better about yourself physically. There is no doubt that our bodies change considerably when we get old. But, that doesn’t have to mean that there is nothing attractive. Feeling attractive again is a wonderful feeling and helps to improve many areas of life.

Suddenly looking in the mirror is pleasant!

 

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If You’re Going To Start Dating Someone New, Remember These 5 Things

So, you’ve gone on a handful of dates, and you’re pretty sure you found your person. Your besties are getting a little bored of hearing you gush about them, but TBH, you could care less — right now, the possibilities are endless for your budding romance, and you couldn’t be more excited. If you’re going to start dating someone new, note that there will likely be a whirlwind of emotions that can feel thrilling and perhaps a tad terrifying all at once. Before you get caught up in all the confusing feels, there are certain things you should keep in mind in order to keep both feet firmly planted on the ground.

One of the most important things to remember while you’re getting to know your new boo is to have fun. After all, this is one of the most exhilarating phases of your relationship. Every single experience you share and story you tell is totally new to both of you. You have so many firsts to look forward to together — from cooking a meal and cheering on your favorite sports team to hosting a party and hitting up a farmer’s market. It can be easy to get overwhelmed with nerves or obsessing about the future. But it’s oh so important to stay in the moment as much as possible because you can’t get these first few months back, and they’re bound to be brimming with memorable moments.

Here are some other things you’ll want to remember, too, in order to ensure that your relationship is off to a rock solid start.

New relationship anxiety is real.

Sergey Filiminov/Stocksy

Currently, I’m very grateful to be in a secure, healthy relationship. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have some major anxiety in the early stages of dating my current boyfriend. I felt as if I was continually waiting for the other shoe to drop — and as such, I was hyper-alert to any possible sign that our relationship was going to end. If he was annoyed or upset about something, I immediately feared it was over. It was nothing short of exhausting. As it turns out, this new relationship anxiety is so real, and lots of people let their fear of abandonment creep in. Not only does this take a toll on your mental health, but it can also put a strain on the relationship.

Remember: It’s totally normal to be a little nervous when you’re dating someone new. Particularly if your feelings are very strong, you may feel a bit paranoid that it’s “too good to be true.” It’s good to acknowledge these fears, and even talk them out. But giving in to them slowly strips away your happiness, and your ability to totally open your heart to your new boo with reckless abandon. Try to keep in mind that whatever is meant to be, will be. Anxiety isn’t really productive, because it’s a fear around something that hasn’t even happened yet. Focus on being present rather than worrying about what’s down the road, and your relationship will blossom to its full potential.

Keep the past in the past.

Lauren Naefe/Stocksy

We all have baggage. Whether you’ve only dated one person for a few months or you’ve had three long-term relationships, there’s no doubt that your previous experiences can shape everything from how easily you trust your new boo, to whether you’re skittish about saying “I love you.” Here’s the thing, however. It’s super important to make an effort to leave the past in the past. Every person, and therefore every relationship is unique. So, while it may be tempting to compare your new partner to your ex, it doesn’t do either of you any good. Additionally, it’s easy to start jumping to conclusions based on an ex’s behavior, but that isn’t fair to bae. They’re a different person, and they deserve the benefit of the doubt.

To clarify, you shouldn’t forget about the past — in fact, it’s safe to say that’s straight-up impossible. But if you catch yourself starting to draw comparisons to your ex or letting your past experiences affect your new relationship, it’s time to work on carving out a clean slate.

Be alert to red flags.

Viktor Solomin/Stocksy

It’s super easy to get a bit blinded by love in those first few months of your relationship. When you’re falling for someone, there’s a rush of neurochemicals in your brain that make you feel something akin to an addiction to your newfound boo. As such, you’re laser-focused on all of their positive traits, so it can be slightly more difficult to recognize red flags. That’s why it can be helpful to identify a few dealbreakers that you can stay alert to, and check in with trusted friends or family members for their unbiased opinion if something feels “off.”

For example, if you know you need a certain amount of space and your new boo doesn’t seem to be respecting your boundaries, that’s something to pay attention to. Or, if you caught your partner snooping in your phone or lying about their whereabouts, those are behaviors that you definitely shouldn’t ignore. None of these issues necessarily warrant ending your relationship. The point is, it can be tempting to look the other way or minimize these kinds of problems when you’re in a new relationship because your excitement and happiness are so overwhelming that it drowns out your internal alert system. Make it a point to have those tough conversations if your new boo is doing something that bothers you — doing so will actually strengthen your bond and ultimately allow you to have a healthier foundation for your relationship. Most importantly, remember to trust your gut instincts. If something doesn’t feel right to you, that’s all you need to know.

Don’t fall into the social media stalking trap.

VISUALSPECTRUM/Stocksy

There’s so much to learn about someone when you’re just starting to date them. Social media, unfortunately, makes it all too easy to gather information about your new SO. But before you start eagerly clicking around their Instagram feed, Twitter history, and Facebook albums, try to exercise some self-control.

First off, it’ll likely be slightly embarrassing when you let it slip that you already know all of their sibling names and their high school football uniform number (woof). Secondly, you may actually jump to some inaccurate conclusions based on the information you find. For example, when you stumble upon pics of them with their ex, you may start making assumptions about their relationship that can trigger some serious insecurities about your own. You don’t need that right now. You should be focusing your energy on the bond you’re building, not one that your boo had five years ago.

One of the best parts about dating someone new is slowly getting to know them — all of their hopes, fears, goals, and life experiences. So, give your partner the chance to share that information on their terms, in their own time, rather than trying to play sleuth. Trust me: It’ll be more rewarding to hear about all of these things from them, anyway.

Don’t lose yourself.

Jennifer Brister/Stocksy

In a new relationship, it’s totally normal to feel like you want to spend every waking moment with bae. But it’s crucial to keep up with your own interests, hobbies, and friendships, as well. Not only does this help to mitigate some of that aforementioned anxiety, because you’re not putting as much pressure on your new relationship, but it also ensures you maintain some of your independence, and that’s key to a healthy bond.

If fitness is a big part of your life, keep up with those classes on a weekly basis. If you had made it a point to practice playing guitar every day before you starting dating your current boo, don’t neglect that just because you’re in a relationship now. Having these kinds of outlets will help to strengthen your sense of self-esteem and identity, which will ultimately make you a better partner in the long run.

Without a doubt, diving headfirst into a new relationship is one of the most invigorating human experiences you can have. And here’s one more thing to keep in mind: You deserve every ounce of this nauseating bliss — particularly if you’ve experienced some heartbreak and hurt in the past. Embarking on a fresh start with someone new allows you to re-shape your perspective on romance, learn new things about yourself, and grow as an individual. So, trust the process, stay true to yourself, and try to enjoy the ride.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

23 Unromantic Signs That You’ve Found Your Soulmate

You have found your soulmate when your relationship bears these 23 Unromantic Signs

1.  You have great fun shopping grocery, going to the pharmacy, calculating and filing your taxes and even cleaning your house.

2.  More than romantic dinners, eating take away on your couch is something you enjoy.

3.  You love to eat whatever you like in their presence without having to care to look cute and that is what you enjoy the most being with them.

4.  You can’t help falling in love with them in their most unguarded moments. For example, when they sleep open-mouthed.

5.  And you are equally comfortable being yourself.

6.  While you appreciate each other when you dress up, your favorite version of each other is when you are in your sweatpants and old worn t-shirt.

7.  For you, their cards and casual notes are lovelier than any expensive gift they have given you.

8.  They don’t hesitate to ask you for help when they need it, and the same is for you.

9.  You don’t display your affection publicly, not as a principle but because you really don’t need to. You have those smiles and eye contact that let you communicate.

10.  They are there to pep you up when you are down but won’t coddle you.

11.  You can be open and even laugh about things related to your bodily functions.

12.  Sometimes attending a wedding is more about getting drunk and acting stupid for the sake of fun than the ceremony and the emotional toasts.

13.  A very significant indicator of a deep emotional bonding is the relationship lexicon, which both of you create. It’s personal and sweet as the words and phrases hold special meanings most of which no one understands.

14.  There is perhaps nothing that you don’t know about each other. You can answer 9/10 questions correctly about each other.

15.  Your ‘terms of endearment’ are different and seem like nicknames.

16.  You aren’t disgusted when they fall sick because you are too worried about them and just want to take care.

17.  You never shy away from expressing annoyance when you irritate each other. But both of you don’t get too serious over it.

18.  You can spend a lot of ties together without saying a word and still not feel it weird

19.  When you are with them you can completely relax and chill. You don’t need to think how to make the time more interesting or engage in small talk.

20.  You won’t do anything alone which your partner enjoys too. It’s a kind of betrayal, you think. Whether it is binge-watching a series or eating something, you would do it together and won’t break the deal ever.

21.  You get the regular supply of your favorite candy and snacks than you get flowers and you really like it that way.

22.  With them around you can burst into laughter in the most unlikely situations.

23.  You can spend a lazy day just being with each other than going for a more exciting date with someone else.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Tales of Rock – 5 Cool Things To See At The Memphis Rock ‘n’ Soul Museum

Like a Chuck Berry song lyric, the sign-in roster for visitors to the recently reopened Memphis Rock ‘n’ Soul Museum tells a powerful story with economy and precision.

The story testifies to the international appeal of the popular music that spread, with viral efficiency, from Memphis and the Mid-South starting in the early decades of the last century.

On March 18 — the last day before the museum’s two-month coronavirus-mandated shutdown — the guests who signed the roster identified their hometowns as being in England, Ireland, Israel, and, um, Mississippi (Laurel, to be exact).

“Forty percent of our visitors are international tourists,” said John Doyle, executive director of the Rock ‘n’ Soul Museum and the affiliated Memphis Music Hall of Fame.

“Local people don’t know this place as well as we would love them to,” he said. “We really promote the idea that they should go through the museum, to have more of a sense of pride in Memphis as not just a music city but a music city that shook the world.”

That could change over the next few weeks. With international travel curtailed due to coronavirus concerns, the museum — which reopened May 21 — is offering half-price admission tickets to Shelby County residents through the end of June.

The Memphis Rock 'n' Soul Museum is offering half-price admission for Shelby County residents through the end of June.

Located near Third Street in the courtyard of FedExForum (a basketball arena decorated with a Memphis music theme), the Rock ‘n’ Soul Museum celebrated its 20th anniversary May 1 — or would have celebrated the anniversary, if it had been open.

With exhibits, an introductory film, and guided audio tours created in association with the Smithsonian, the museum is “a tourist attraction and an educational facility,” Doyle said.

The museum originally was located in the Gibson Guitar Factory, across the street from its current site. It relocated to its new facility — the first floor of a four-story building mostly devoted to Memphis Grizzlies marketing and sales offices — on Sept. 14, 2014, the day FedExForum opened.

About 60,000 people now visit the museum each year, Doyle said, while admitting that the number will drop by “thousands” in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic.

Close to 90% of the museum and Hall of Fame’s $1.1 million budget comes from ticket and T-shirt revenue, Doyle said. “We try to be as self-sufficient as we can be,” he said.

Plus, the museum gets about $40,000 a year in revenue from the state-administered sale of specialty “music” Tennessee license plates that feature a blue Gibson guitar logo and the words “The State of American Music.”

Executive director John Doyle places a sign in the window displaying a message encouraging sick people to stay at home at the Memphis Rock 'n' Soul Museum in Memphis, Tenn., on Wednesday, May 20, 2020.

Despite such promotion, the museum-like a rhinestone in the pleat of an Elvis cape — is something of a hidden gem, at least in comparison to such historic Memphis music attractions as Graceland, Sun Studio and the Stax Museum of American Soul Music (built on the site of the Stax studio).

Its design is simple and tidy. Visitors follow a U-shaped path through exhibits that trace the history of blues, rock, soul, R&B, country and gospel, from the Mississippi Delta to Sun, Stax, Hi, and Memphis’ other great music studios. The parallel story of the civil rights revolution is touched upon, as is the story of the cultural revolution that brought music to the masses through radios, televisions, and record stores.

Relatively modest in size, the museum does not overwhelm a visitor, yet its display cases and platforms contain dozens of impressive and — if we may use the word — just plain cool artifacts.

With that in mind, here are five things to look for inside the Memphis Rock ‘n’ Soul Museum:

Ike Turner's first piano displayed at the Memphis Rock 'n' Soul Museum in Memphis, Tenn., on Saturday, May 23, 2020.

1. Ike Turner’s first piano: A black upright model, this instrument was used on some historic recordings by such artists as Howlin’ Wolf, and Jackie Brenston, the credited artist on the 1951 Sam Phillips-recorded, Chess Records-released “Rocket 88,” a 45 rpm single that is often credited with being the “first” rock ‘n’ roll record.

WDIA yellow-orange Little League jersey dating from about 1960 is displayed at the Memphis Rock 'n' Soul Museum in Memphis, Tenn., on Saturday, May 23, 2020.

2. WDIA baseball jersey: Dating from about 1960, this bright yellow-orange Little League jersey testifies to the community outreach of the popular AM radio station, which in 1948 became the first in the country “to make a total commitment to black listeners” (to quote the museum signage), with black deejays and programs aimed at Memphis’ black residents.

Poplar Tunes neon sign displayed at the Memphis Rock 'n' Soul Museum in Memphis, Tenn., on Saturday, May 23, 2020.

3. Poplar Tunes neon sign: International travelers may be more interested in its colorful design than its history, but longtime Memphians will get a nostalgic kick out of the vintage Poplar Tunes sign rescued from outside 308 Poplar (hence the name) after Elvis’ favorite record shop — the flagship location in a Memphis-based chain that once had stores all over the city — went out of business in 2009, after 63 years.

The 1958 Tsana brand guitar that was the instrument Elvis serenaded his future wife, the 14-year-old Priscilla Beaulieu is displayed at the Memphis Rock 'n' Soul Museum in Memphis, Tenn., on Saturday, May 23, 2020.

4. Elvis Presley’s Priscilla-serenading guitar: The museum has on display the 1958 Tsana brand guitar (black, with an apparent mother-of-pearl inlay) that was Elvis’ only guitar during his term of service with the Army in Germany. It was with this instrument that Elvis serenaded his future wife, the 14-year-old Priscilla Beaulieu, whose stepfather was an Air Force officer also stationed in Germany.

5. Sam the Sham stuff: Wooly Bully! It’s cool enough that the museum displays a black turban and gold-sequined no-lapel jacket once worn by that great Memphian Domingo Samudio, professionally known as “Sam the Sham”; what makes it even cooler is that Sam wore these items for his guest performance in the 1965 teen romp “When the Boys Meet the Girls,” which also featured Connie Francis and Louis Armstrong. Cooler still: Sitting atop that display case is Sam’s customized Triumph motorcycle — the same bike that Sam posed with on the cover of his gritty 1971 Atlantic Records solo album, “Hard and Heavy.”

The black turban and gold-sequined no-lapel jacket worn by Memphian Domingo Samudio, professionally known as "Sam the Sham," displayed at the Memphis Rock 'n' Soul Museum in Memphis, Tenn., on Saturday, May 23, 2020.

The Memphis Rock ‘n’ Soul Museum

Located on the south side of the FedExForum courtyard, at Third Street near Lt. George W. Lee Avenue, south of Beale Street.

Open 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Wednesday through Sunday.

Admission: $13 (adult), or $10 (ages 5-17). Tickets are half-price through the end of June for residents of Shelby County.

For tickets or more information, visit memphisrocknsoul.org.

Wanna be a better guitarist? Click this link to learn the secret!

https://beginnerguitarhq.com/guitar-exercises/

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

5 Reasons a Guy Might Not Be Interested in You

Being Stood Up

Not too long ago, I was supposed to meet a man I met a week ago. It was not a date, but he had offered to treat me to a coffee at the local Dunkin Donuts. We had planned to meet at around 1:00 pm. I arrived about five minutes late and discovered he was not there. I figured he was running late too so I decided to wait for him. About an hour later, still he had not shown up. I texted him asking if he had forgotten about our plans. Another ten minutes had passed and I was still sitting alone sipping on a small ice coffee waiting for a man who clearly was not showing up if he had not texted back saying he had to cancel. As I walked home embarrassed, I came to terms with what had happened, I was stood up by a man who was clearly not interested in me.

Getting stood up is like being stabbed. It hurts in the moment when it happens and when it heals, there will always be a scar there to remind you that there is someone out in the world who did not give you a chance. Many people today think that being stood up is something that only happens in high school when your prom date doesn’t knock on your door. After graduating high school, I had the same mentality that people in general would be mature enough to tell you if they were interested in you enough. After being stood up by a man I couldn’t help but wonder, are men secretly not interested you but are too afraid to say anything?

Source

The Signs

When we are dating, we both consciously and unconsciously give some of those interested in us signs that we are not interested in them. Some will pick up on it while others won’t. If you are on the receiving end of these signs, you should identify them as soon as possible to ensure you won’t be blind sided when he doesn’t call you back.

His texting habits change- My friend Kelly met a guy on Tinder and they would text constantly. After their first date, the constant texting turned into a text every once in a while. He would always say that he was busy with school work or at his job where he could not text her back. However, this didn’t line up with his habits before their date. On a Thursday afternoon before the date, he would send her three messages at a time talking when they were having an interesting conversation. On a Thursday afternoon after the date, he would take about an hour or two to respond. Usually when guys change their texting habits, it is usually a sign that they are losing interest in you. If you notice the conversations you used to have in the past compared to how you’re having them now, that can indicate how he truly feels about you.

He’s bored when talking to you- When you’re in the middle of a conversation, you would normally pay attention to what the other person is saying. However, that is not always the case. If the guy you’re seeing seems to be finding ways to distract himself or change the topic of discussion, HE’S NOT LISTENING. It doesn’t matter if you’re talking about your day at work, about an argument you and your mother had, or asking his opinion on a movie you just saw. He may act interested, but he can’t hide the face that he makes. If he looks bored, isn’t making eye contact, starts nodding at random moments, or raises his eyebrows to what he thinks are important details to your discussion, chances are he has no idea what you’re taking about and he won’t bother to ask.

He invites other people to your dates- After the first date, you’re really excited to get a call or text from a guy asking if you’re available on a Friday night. However, you didn’t expect him to bring his friend Kevin with him. When he brings a friend with him on a date, he can’t have fun if it’s just the two of you. The friend usually acts as the fall back for him to be able to enjoy himself. It’s his way of saying to you that he can’t have fun with you on your dates and would prefer to bring his friends with him. If you end up being the third wheel on a date, seriously reconsider seeing this guy again.

You are always the one texting him first- If you’re blowing up his phone right now, please stop. I have had experiences with men when it came to texting. I was interested in a man back in September who had really bad texting habits. I would always be the one texting him first and waiting hours, sometimes a day, for a response. Eventually I got the notion that this guy wasn’t into me and I stopped texting him all together. Texting someone is usually an indication that you’re thinking of the person you are texting. If he doesn’t reach out to you at least once a week, you’re not on his mind.

His excuses don’t make sense- We’ve all had that one excuse that got us out of doing something we don’t want to do. Some of these things include dates. When you ask a guy to go with you somewhere, but he says he has work, you don’t think about it much. However, when you see he’s active on Instagram, it starts to make you wonder. Usually when he makes up an excuse as to why he doesn’t want to go on another date with you it can be a sign that something isn’t right. Social media is usually the best spot to call him out on his BS. If he says he’s at work and a snap goes up saying “Saturday is for the boys!” he’s at a different kind of overtime.

Should you be devastated if a guy isn’t interested in you? Absolutely not! If someone isn’t interested in you, I can guarantee that there is someone who is interested in you out there. It’s all part of the dating process. Let’s be honest with ourselves, we would probably do the same with someone we weren’t interested in. But it’s important to remember that the real world isn’t high school. It’s time for us to be adults and just be honest with the person and gently explain to them that we don’t see ourselves being anything more than friends.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1