50 Questions To Ask Your Partner When You’re Bored Out Of Your Mind

Once you’ve scrolled through all of Netflix, baked the third batch of Alison Roman’s chocolate chip cookies, and cleaned your apartment from top to bottom, you and your partner may find yourselves losing your d*mn minds. Since you’ll be social distancing together for the foreseeable future, I brainstormed 50 questions to ask your partner when you’re bored, so your relationship can survive self-isolation.

“Being stuck at home can be a particularly challenging proposition for many couples,” Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, a licensed clinical professional counselor, and relationship therapist, tells Bustle. “People are stressed out, living in fear, and will often push each other’s buttons. On the other hand, it is a great opportunity to spend time together, have fun, and work on your relationship.”

While you can certainly keep the questions fun and light, this could be a good opportunity to drop some thought-provoking queries about the future, to gauge where your partner’s head is at. “Slow down and focus on each other,” Slatkin says. After all, neither of you is going anywhere. So, what’s the rush?

Ask Interesting “What If?” Questions

Relationship expert Mona Green, ELI-MP suggests the following unexpected questions:

1. If there was a movie made of your life, who would direct, and who would play you?

2. What’s a question you’ve been wanting to ask me, but have never gotten around to?

3. What did you imagine being an adult would be like when you were a little kid?

4. If aliens came to earth, what do you think they would find most interesting about you? About me? About humans? Why?

5. What’s the best piece of advice your grandma gave you?

6. What’s something you do that your 80-year-old self would find funny?

Use Self-Isolation To Talk About Sex

Becca Hirsch, MA, LMFT, a licensed marriage, and family therapist, suggests talking to your partner about your sex life:

7. How do you feel when we talk about sex?

8. Where do you like to be touched?

9. Based on past sexual experiences, do you have a sense of what I like and what I don’t like?

10. What’s something you need from our relationship that you’re not currently getting?

11. What’s your idea of a perfect date night?

Cover The Basics

12. What are your pet peeves?

13. What do you like to do on the weekend?

14. What was your favorite TV show growing up?

15. What’s one thing that would surprise me about you?

16. What are some things on your bucket list?

17. What is your biggest goal?

Get Personal

Rori Sassoon, a relationship expert and co-founder of the matchmaking agency Platinum Poire, suggests questions that run the gamut from steamy to funny:

18. Who’s the better kisser, you or me?

19. What’s my weirdest quirk that you actually find funny or endearing?

20. If money was no object, where would you live?

21. What habit(s) do you have that you think to annoys other people?

22. What do you think I’m most likely to go viral for?

23. What celebrity or public figure would you want to be stuck on a desert island with?

24. What’s a favorite movie/band/TV show that you’re embarrassed you like?

25. If we had to have an imaginary threesome during quarantine, what celebrity would it be with?

Try Out Party Game Questions

Stephania Cruz, the relationship expert, suggests sticking to fun questions, especially if you’re feeling bored, anxious, or stressed:

26. If you could take only five movies on a desert island, what would they be?

27. If you were invisible for two hours, what are some things you would do?

28. If you could meet anyone in the world, dead or alive, who would it be?

29. If you were granted only three wishes, what would they be and why?

30. What was the worst job you ever had?

31. Who is the most famous person you have ever met?

32. What’s the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars?

33. Who was the first person you had a crush on? How old were you?

34. What words do you hope people use when they are describing you?

Test Your Knowledge Of Each Other

Audrey Hope, relationship coach, and therapist suggests testing how well you already know each other by using a “love test”:

35. What is my favorite food?

36. What do I love to do more than anything in the world?

37. What’s my biggest fear?

38. What’s my biggest pet peeve?

39. When I was a kid, what did I want to be when I grew up?

Rekindle The Spark

Denna Babul, relationship expert and author of Love Strong, offers these fun, light-hearted questions:

40. What’s your secret hidden talent?

41. What song describes you in high school?

42. Who can you do a voice impression of?

43. What is the coolest compliment someone of the same sex has ever given you?

44. What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?

Get Cozy With Your Partner

According to Monica Berg, author of Rethink Love, these queries are always crowd-pleasers:

45. What is the worst date you’ve ever been on?

46. What was something you didn’t want me to know about you when we first started dating?

47. If you had one day to spend as you please without any consequences, what would you do?

Keep Things Light & Fun

Adina Mahalli, MCT, certified relationship expert, and mental health consultant, says these questions always make for a good time:

48. What’s your Patronus?

49. What song always puts you in a good mood?

50. What’s your first memory?

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

11 Mistakes That Will Tank Your First Date

Going on a first date can feel like walking a tightrope: You’re trying to impress her without coming on too strong—or worse, looking desperate. You want to seem smart but not condescending. Funny but not obnoxious. You don’t want to talk about trivial matters, but at the same time, know you can’t delve into anything too serious. Politics, religion, and past partners are all off the table. There are so many rules!

While you’re in your head trying to figure out what to say (and wondering if you fully wiped off all that spaghetti sauce from your beard), you also need to actively listen to your date in order to respond appropriately. If you don’t respond well to what she’s saying, then the date is surely going to be a bust.

This is why a lot of guys get nervous on a first date and end up blowing it. Not to worry, we spoke with a few relationship experts about the most common mistakes guys make on a first date, and how to avoid them. While some of these mistakes may seem trivial, but let’s face it: It’s a first date. You don’t get a lot of leeway to mess things up when there’s no established relationship.

With that in mind, here’s how to avoid 11 common first date mistakes so you can ace your first impression—and schedule a second date before the waiter brings out dessert. (And if you’re struggling to come up with a solid first date idea, check out our list of 40 first date ideas that will make you look like a creative genius.)

1. Keep Your Hands to Yourself

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You might think that touching her a lot on the first date shows that you’re into her. Not the case, says relationship expert April Masini of AskApril.com. What you’re actually showing her is that you’re super-touchy on every first date. Way to make a girl feel special, right?

Avoid the pitfall: “On a first date, touch should be limited and only natural, friendly, and warm—not sexual,” says Carole Lieberman, M.D., author of Bad Girls: Why Men Love Them & How Good Girls Can Learn Their Secrets. In other words, it’s fine to take her hand to help her out of your car, or put your hand on her lower back to lead her through a crowded restaurant. But don’t drape your arm around her neck and hold her close the entire time.

2. Make It a Two-Way Conversation

Henrik Sorensen

Sure, you have to tell her about yourself, but dominating the conversation by rambling about your life will make you look narcissistic. Or worse: By not showing any interest in her, it can seem like you’re just waiting for the date to be over so you can get her into bed, Dr. Lieberman says.

Avoid the pitfall: What will impress her even more than learning about your accomplishments is seeing that you’re genuinely interested in hearing about her. If you’re not sure where to start, her job is usually a good bet. “Women love knowing that you take their work and ambitions seriously,” Dr. Lieberman says. “Ask her about what made her go into her career, and what she plans or wants to accomplish. Find out why it’s important to her.”

3. Don’t Drop the F-Bombs

Portra

Some women may love bad boys, but swearing like a sailor doesn’t make you Charlie Hunnam. “Cursing gets old very quickly,” Dr. Lieberman says. “It makes it look like you’re trying to be cool.”

Avoid the pitfall: This one is easy: Curb the cursing habit now, in anticipation of all your future first dates (and job interviews, and other non-sailing situations), Dr. Lieberman says. It’s too difficult to just turn off a habit for a few hours, so eliminate four-letter words from your everyday vocabulary.

4. Leave Your Rolodex at Home

Merlas

If you spend the date dropping names, as in: “I know the guy who created Angry Birds,” or “I text Jason Mamoa,” then you sound like a try-hard who needs celebrity clout to impress her. (But hey, could we get Jason’s number?) And if you tell long stories about your friends and their shenanigans, you’ll bore her to death.

Avoid the pitfall: Check yourself before you name-drop—it almost never sounds good, Masini says. As for that story about your buddies’ epic trip to Tijuana, save reliving your glory days for when you’re back together with them.

5. Be a Gentleman

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Women today don’t need over-the-top chivalry, but that doesn’t mean you should slack on your manners. Letting the door slam in her face, talking down to waiters, and spending the entire date glued to your phone are all behaviors that she won’t find attractive.

Avoid the pitfall: “No matter how modern she is, a woman wants doors held open for her,” Dr. Lieberman says. “She also wants you to have good table manners.” At the very least, you should try to be the gentleman your mother raised you to be. And a general rule for every date: Stay off your phone.

6. Curb Any Excessive Enthusiasm

William Perugini

Giddiness doesn’t read as enthusiasm on a first date—it reads as anxiety, according to psychologist Tracy Thomas, Ph.D. “You end up sending the message that you’re uncomfortable with yourself, and unable to self-regulate,” Thomas explains. In other words, you look like a nervous wreck, and she’s going to bail.

Avoid the pitfall: If you tend to get too giddy, plan a date with a distraction so that you’re not on the spot for suave conversation the entire time, Dr. Lieberman says. Some good options to take the pressure off: a play or a concert. You’ll still have the opportunity to talk, just not as much.

7. Go for (Non-offensive) Jokes

Anchiy

Joking around with your date is a great way to break the ice. Women like funny guys. Men like funny guys. Everyone likes funny guys. Humor is an excellent tool. But, don’t go overboard. If you start getting heavy into politics, non-PC humor, or negging, she’s going to ask for the check and run like the wind.

Avoid the pitfall: Keep the humor light. Find out something you both agree on. For instance, maybe you both think Frasier is a pretentious and terrible show. Joke about that together. If she loves Colbert, make some Colbert-style jokes. If she likes your funny voices, joke with her. Don’t get out of control and start ranting and raving about Jill Stein or how much you love Bernie Sanders on a first date. Funny can quickly spiral into “bonkers” territory.

8. Don’t be Weird About Splitting the Bill

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Don’t buckle down on not allowing her to split the bill with you. We live in a society where we can have egalitarian partnerships. We’re all making money, it’s OK for partners to split the bill. If a person really wants to, consider letting her. If you’d like to pick up the check, be polite about it.

Avoid the pitfall: If it’s a first date, let them know that you’d really like to treat her. Explain that you’re totally willing to go dutch on your next date, but since they agreed to spend her evening with you, you’d like to get this one. If they are really insistent, don’t be weird about it. Just split the bill. It’s not a test. They just want to be equals and establish boundaries. And remember, just because you buy dinner does not, in any way, mean a person owes you anything; not a hug, a kiss, or sex.

9. Resist Bringing Your Resumé

Dark Horse

Arrogance is really just your insecurity showing, Dr. Lieberman says. You may feel like you need to emphasize the parts of your background that scream “elite” to impress her. But flashing possessions or dropping “one time at Princeton” into the conversation too many times just makes you look like an asshole.

Avoid the pitfall: As a general rule, first-date conversations shouldn’t include talk about anything too superficial unless there’s a good reason for it to come up. For example, it’s fine to tell her you went to Harvard Law only if you’re talking about how brutal Massachusetts winters are.

10. Don’t Be a Schlub

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It’s not as harsh as it sounds: Chances are she just thinks you need to work on your grooming. Most guys can look decent if they invest in a good haircut, do some manscaping, and dress well, Masini says.

Avoid the pitfall: Take heart in the fact that you don’t have to work nearly as hard as she does to prepare for a date. But that doesn’t mean you can skip the basics: showering, shaving, and spritzing on cologne. Wear a simple-yet-polished outfit like dark jeans, a blazer, and loafers, and you’ll look put-together without seeming like you’re trying too hard. (For more guidance, check out what to wear on a first date.)

11. Offer a Polite Compliment

Petri Oeschger

If you start off with some comment on how great her legs look in that skirt, she’s not going to be into it. She will be immediately put off. Comments on appearance have to be given with finesse or you’ll start the evening (or end it) on the wrong note.

Avoid the pitfall: Stick to gentlemanly compliments. You’re safe with, “You look really nice tonight,” or “Wow, I know we’ve been out a few times already, but it feels like you get more beautiful every single time I see you.” If your date is not a person who enjoys compliments on her appearance, go for a cool line like, “I can’t get enough of your laugh.” Everyone likes to know they are appreciated, but you have to be self-aware enough to offer the right phrasing.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1