Ladies! This Is What Happens When You Date A ‘Hard Guy’

If you ever end up dating someone who considers it weak for a man to express emotions, brace yourself for the following things.

Getting involved with someone, especially with the intent of going all the way, should be a no-holds-barred affair.

So ideally there should be no such thing as suppressed feelings and unexpressed emotions.

However, for some men, especially the inexpressive ones [aka hard Guys], this is a real issue they can’t shake off. Whether as a control mechanism, a defense strategy, or just out of plain cluelessness, many men have been tagged as creatures who hold back emotions and refuse to truly assess and express the romantic feelings they have at several times, including times when they have partners.

If you ever find yourself dating such a ‘hard guy’, here are the pits you should be ready to encounter in such a relationship:

One of the problems you will experience dating a man who is inexpressive and finds it difficult to express himself is confusion, misunderstandings, and constant misconstruing of his intentions.

In a situation, you might think something while your partner has something else in mind other than what they are really feeling about the situation. This always leads to misunderstandings and too many avoidable fights that can ruin a healthy relationship.

Women have a reputation for being easily swayed by words, especially if they already like you. Words, especially complimentary ones, are also useful in keeping a woman feeling treasured, appreciated, and desired

Now imagine having a guy who never gasses you up in any way, rarely assuages your doubts, or reassures you of his undying affection for you – kinda tragic, yeah?

An unhappy woman is what you get when you don’t gas her up or make her feel appreciated in any way. [Credit: Blackcity girl]

When you get pissed with your inexpressive guy over his constant failure to express feelings or dish out validation, you may start finding solace in something else. It could even be another human being.

If someone else starts filling the gap, you will gradually getting far away from your partner. And when this happens, the end of that relationship becomes visible on the horizon.

Many women love to talk and express the things they’re feeling. If your partner is not expressive, you will lack communication in cases where you actually should open up.

Communication suffers when one partner pushes and the other pulls. In other words, when a partner tries to initiate and the other doesn’t reciprocate or does it poorly all the time, it’s surely a problem.

If someone likes forming an inexpressive hard guy even with you his girlfriend, it is very likely that your relationship with him will be boring. We already mentioned here how fun it is when both partners have an insane sense of humor and can both give and take jokes.

We don’t think that will apply much in your relationship if your boyfriend is inexpressive.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

3 Brutally Honest Reasons Why Men Leave the Women They Love

It’s not the truth that hurts. It’s not knowing the truth.

It’s devastating when a guy leaves you and you don’t know why. You can spend months, sometimes even years, trying to figure it out while you learn how to deal with a breakup.

But when you dwell on the past, it’s worse than his actual leaving. This thinking keeps you bonded to him and prevents you from meeting someone else.

While many women may think fear of commitment causes the men they love to leave them, there are a few other reasons. And they all have to do with you.

1. You ask for more, better, or different.

This is a tough one because you may feel that you’re only taking care of yourself and your needs, which is great. But when you’re consistently asking a guy for more, better and different, you’re giving him the impression that he can’t please you, and what he does isn’t enough.

When a guy says to you, “I can’t please you. I’m letting you go to find someone who can,” you’ve touched this wound. Whether it’s right or wrong, this is often the number one reason why men leave.

You still get to ask for what you want and say no to what you don’t want, but the remedy is improving your communication with him.

2. You become his mother.

Once you get on the road of telling him what to do, you’re on your way to becoming his mother. If you’ve been taught that love means taking care of other people and their needs, you may find yourself picking up after him, fixing his problems, and, in extreme cases, paying his bills.

Another danger is that he may like it and he’ll let you do everything for him as his mother did. You may end up in a sexless relationship and he finally leaves because men are not turned on by their mothers.

3. He’s still a boy.

Sometimes, with no effort on your part, you just inherit a guy who’s still a boy. This is a guy who hasn’t gone through his Fisher King Wound.

He hasn’t learned (hopefully) from his mother that women, children, animals, and the planet are not here for his gratification. He hasn’t learned to give, protect, and cherish women, children animals, and the planet which is often why guys leave you when the going gets rough.

He is only interested in what feels good in the moment and instant gratification. In a nutshell, you have a (dare I say it?) Peter Pan.

I can’t tell you every reason why guys leave you, but I can tell you this: We’re always attracted to the right wrong person until we learn the lesson. He who leaves first without learning the lesson repeats the lesson and you know you’ve learned the lesson when you no longer want to repeat the lesson.

For your part, watch out for asking for better or different and see what he willingly gives. Men fall in love when they give. If he doesn’t care about your feelings and leaves you with no explanation. He’s not your man he’s someone else’s boy.

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1