Why Every Single Woman Needs To Start Circular Dating

Here’s another post from one of my readers…

When my marriage ended over a year ago, I wasn’t overly concerned with dating. I’d had enough of men, I decided. I thought maybe I’d start a single mother commune, where we could all live in super tidy houses and watch The Bachelor in peace.

We’d eat a lot of salad and do yoga each morning on the lawn.

But time marched on and I started to think perhaps dating might be fun. It had been many years and several children since anyone had seen me naked, but the idea was still more enticing than it was terrifying. And I figured I can always drink wine.

Getting “out there” is a whole different ball game than it was nearly 20 years ago, the last time I was single. “Out there” now pretty much means staying inside and shopping for a date on your phone, which can be fun, sort of, if you enjoy looking for a needle in a depressing, often misogynistic haystack.

But I did manage to find some needles and thought I’d give them a go. It was nerve-wracking at first, but the guys I met were kind and mostly pretended not to notice my nervous babbling.

Some dates went well, some were disastrous, but most were somewhere in the middle.

What I discovered, though, was that with each guy I dated, I really cared what they thought of me. Even the guy who was unemployed lived on pot noodles and sent passive-aggressive texts when I didn’t respond quickly enough for him.

What can I say? I crave praise. Daddy issues don’t miraculously disappear just because you’re in your forties.

Enter ‘circular dating’

Then a friend suggested I try circular dating. The term was coined by US relationship coach Rori Raye, and it basically entails dating at least three people at once, with the intention of finding “the one”.

I wasn’t sure whether I really wanted to find “the one”, but someone I could hang out with on my kid-free weekends, and go out to dinner with when my girlfriends were busy sounded okay.

My friend told me the idea is that it puts the power squarely back with you. So rather than worrying about whether some random guy is really that into you, you date widely and decide whether you like each guy. If you decide to cut one loose, you replace him with another. And you keep doing that until you find one you think is worthy of your undivided attention.

So, with nothing to lose, I decided to give it a go. The wonderful thing about dating apps like Tinder and Bumble is that you really can date as many people as you’d like to these days. Nobody is standing on the wall at a dance and waiting to be asked.

So I dated. And dated.

No more waiting around

I met some great guys and had a really wonderful time. I also opened my mind to dating some people I probably would have ruled out in the past. None of them turned into anything significant, but I met a few interesting people, went to some great bars, and had a lot of interesting discussions.

My social calendar has been full, and I’ve laughed a lot. I’ve also cringed more than usual, but nothing’s perfect.

I made a point never to lie to anyone I was dating about what I was doing. I did struggle to know when to bring it up, and sometimes I didn’t bring it up at all, but I definitely never gave the impression I was seeing someone exclusively when I wasn’t.

I met a couple of guys I really liked and who I previously would have been at home waiting for a text from – if I wasn’t so busy going out for dinner with someone else.

One particular guy ticked a whole lot of boxes for me. We both liked running marathons and he made me laugh, but I knew he wasn’t ready for a relationship, being fresh out of marriage himself.

The old me would have held onto him and waited. The new me told him I had better things to do than wait for him, and then make a date with someone else the next night.

The power has well and truly been returned to me, and it’s made me feel less vulnerable and more in control of my dating lifeless passive and more empowered.

Has it delivered “the one”? Hmmm, it’s too early to tell, but let’s just say it’s not out of the question. At the very least I’ve had a lot of fun, and I’ve stopped waiting for my phone to ring.


Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

The Seductive Power of Cuddles

Cuddles have a Seductive Power when done in a right way!

The other night I was out with a friend for dinner. We ended up in this amazing restaurant I love to go to. Let me give you a little background on this place I go to. The people who work there, are some of the most authentic I’ve ever met. The guy who owns the place is all about 100% authenticity 100% of the time.

Authenticity is so important in life for so many reasons.

Anyway, we were chatting to the owner about how he met his wife, and I asked him, “How did you know she was the one for you?”

He said, “The moment I met her I knew right away she was someone amazing and special. We had an amazing evening together, and I never wanted it to end. We were walking and talking until about 2 am, until she asked me back to her place. I stayed with her all night and we just cuddled.”

He was real, he was authentic, and he wasn’t all about getting her “in the sack.”
Why Cuddles Are So Important To Women?

Guys need to learn how powerful cuddles can be, and how easy it is to make a woman melt when you’re man enough just to hold her without expecting sex in return.

Cuddling stands for safety. Think about what cuddling means to a woman. Her Daddy cuddled her and protected her when she was little.

Cuddling a woman triggers an emotion in her that makes her feel safe with you. Before a woman will give herself to you, she needs to feel safe with you.

So many guys are all over women are the end of a date, constantly trying to paw at her, and constantly trying to come onto her. In reality, most of the time all she wants is a cuddle!

When you hug a woman, she gets to feel your manliness. When you hug a woman, she gets to feel your vulnerability.

When you hug a woman, she gets to feel your strength. It triggers a feeling of safety. It triggers oxytocin, and that’s exactly what you want.

If you want to know how to really turn a woman on, you need to understand the power of cuddles. The next time you’re out on a date, instead of trying to kiss her, and instead of grabbing for her breasts, or my favorite thing guys do, rubbing yourself against her, try cuddling her. Just cuddle her and you watch what happens next.

It’s like magic. Watch her open up to you. Watch her start to give herself to you emotionally. Take sex out the equation gentlemen, and start to become that strong, protector women crave. Start to focus on building an emotional bond with the women you date. Until a woman feels you emotionally, she’ll never feel you physically.

Therefore, apply the power of cuddles in the right way to turn her on both emotionally and physically.


Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

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