You can try and try to pretend you’re super speedy relationship moved at a super normal pace, but some signs that you rushed this are just unavoidable. The world doesn’t care how much you want it to accept this insta-boyfriend. Life has no concern with the fact that you’d like to just brush the past under the rug and skip ahead into the future. There are just certain practicalities and logistics that will come up, that make it so obvious that you moved too fast in this relationship. People can’t hide the looks on their faces when you tell them you’re living with this new man. The confused comments surrounding your Facebook relationship status scream the truth. You can try to lie to yourself and say, “We didn’t rush!” but you probably won’t believe the lie for long. Here are signs you rushed into this relationship.
You’re manipulating the numbers
You’ve been truly dating for three months, and now you live together. But when people ask how long you’ve been seeing each other, you say it’s been six months since you technically met six months ago. But really, that was one time, then you didn’t run into each other for two more months, or start dating for another month after that.
People are still asking about your breakup
People are still checking in to make sure you’re okay from your previous breakup. Friends are still giving you breakup baskets full of things like vibrators and funny cards about hating men.
You’re still dealing with logistics from your last breakup, too. You’re still splitting up stuff. You’re still getting your name off of his utility bills. You’re still negotiating what you’ll pay the landlord for breaking the lease you shared with your ex.
You’re getting hoards of mail to you and the ex. The postal service has not received the memo. No, sorry; your world has not received the memo. Heck, some of this mail was sent when you were still sort of with the ex, and arrived after you got with this new guy. You know how slow ground delivery can be.
FB memories are embarrassing
Facebook memories are a bit awkward. “This time last year…” you were on a cruise with your ex and his whole family. Oh and he proposed on that cruise. And you said yes! Now a mere 365 days later, you’re living with a new dude.
Distant relatives are behind on the details
You have some friends and relatives you only catch up with every few months. They, naturally, assume you’re still with the dude with whom you were living just a few months ago. So they bought a gift for him. They’re asking all about him. They printed photos for you, of you and him, from their last visit there.
Friends forget to invite him
Friends keep forgetting to invite him to things like dinner parties and birthday parties. In their minds, you’re a single woman. You have to ask, “Can I bring my boyfriend?” and they do a double-take before saying, “Your boy—what?—oh, right, of course!”
People still try to set you up
Some people still try to set you up on blind dates. It’s never crossed their mind that since seeing you, two months ago, when you were devastated from heartbreak, that you’d now be living with somebody new.
You’re justifying red flags
You’re justifying red flags left and right. You’ve had to be very good at coming up with excuses for the most troubling discoveries. You could practically be a criminal defense attorney at this point.
You’re waking up with anxiety
You wake up with anxiety, and you don’t know why. It’s not working. It’s not something with your best friend or family. Hmmm…what could that be…
How people respond to your moving in
When you announced you were moving in with this new dude, people said things like, “You know, if you need a place to crash until finding your own new apartment, you know you can stay with me.” They said that instead of, “Congratulations!”
The rescue is hesitant to give you a dog
You and this dude want to adopt a dog. When the rescue asks you to fill out a questionnaire and reads your answer to, “How long have you lived at your current home?” they look worried. They fear your relationship isn’t yet solid enough to bring in a pet.
He’s not your wedding plus one
You got an invitation to a very close friend’s wedding and…you don’t get a plus one. Or, you do, but it’s just open-ended. It’s just a plus one. It’s not an invitation to you and this guy, specifically.
Some people never registered your breakup
You moved on so quickly from the last guy to this guy that some people were never even aware of you being single for any period of time.
You know his passwords but not his friends
You have his Netflix and Amazon Prime password, but you haven’t met his best friend. You bought a couch together, but you haven’t even had your first real fight yet.
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