5 Reasons a Guy Might Not Be Interested in You

Being Stood Up

Not too long ago, I was supposed to meet a man I met a week ago. It was not a date, but he had offered to treat me to a coffee at the local Dunkin Donuts. We had planned to meet at around 1:00 pm. I arrived about five minutes late and discovered he was not there. I figured he was running late too so I decided to wait for him. About an hour later, still he had not shown up. I texted him asking if he had forgotten about our plans. Another ten minutes had passed and I was still sitting alone sipping on a small ice coffee waiting for a man who clearly was not showing up if he had not texted back saying he had to cancel. As I walked home embarrassed, I came to terms with what had happened, I was stood up by a man who was clearly not interested in me.

Getting stood up is like being stabbed. It hurts in the moment when it happens and when it heals, there will always be a scar there to remind you that there is someone out in the world who did not give you a chance. Many people today think that being stood up is something that only happens in high school when your prom date doesn’t knock on your door. After graduating high school, I had the same mentality that people in general would be mature enough to tell you if they were interested in you enough. After being stood up by a man I couldn’t help but wonder, are men secretly not interested you but are too afraid to say anything?


The Signs

When we are dating, we both consciously and unconsciously give some of those interested in us signs that we are not interested in them. Some will pick up on it while others won’t. If you are on the receiving end of these signs, you should identify them as soon as possible to ensure you won’t be blind sided when he doesn’t call you back.

His texting habits change- My friend Kelly met a guy on Tinder and they would text constantly. After their first date, the constant texting turned into a text every once in a while. He would always say that he was busy with school work or at his job where he could not text her back. However, this didn’t line up with his habits before their date. On a Thursday afternoon before the date, he would send her three messages at a time talking when they were having an interesting conversation. On a Thursday afternoon after the date, he would take about an hour or two to respond. Usually when guys change their texting habits, it is usually a sign that they are losing interest in you. If you notice the conversations you used to have in the past compared to how you’re having them now, that can indicate how he truly feels about you.

He’s bored when talking to you- When you’re in the middle of a conversation, you would normally pay attention to what the other person is saying. However, that is not always the case. If the guy you’re seeing seems to be finding ways to distract himself or change the topic of discussion, HE’S NOT LISTENING. It doesn’t matter if you’re talking about your day at work, about an argument you and your mother had, or asking his opinion on a movie you just saw. He may act interested, but he can’t hide the face that he makes. If he looks bored, isn’t making eye contact, starts nodding at random moments, or raises his eyebrows to what he thinks are important details to your discussion, chances are he has no idea what you’re taking about and he won’t bother to ask.

He invites other people to your dates- After the first date, you’re really excited to get a call or text from a guy asking if you’re available on a Friday night. However, you didn’t expect him to bring his friend Kevin with him. When he brings a friend with him on a date, he can’t have fun if it’s just the two of you. The friend usually acts as the fall back for him to be able to enjoy himself. It’s his way of saying to you that he can’t have fun with you on your dates and would prefer to bring his friends with him. If you end up being the third wheel on a date, seriously reconsider seeing this guy again.

You are always the one texting him first- If you’re blowing up his phone right now, please stop. I have had experiences with men when it came to texting. I was interested in a man back in September who had really bad texting habits. I would always be the one texting him first and waiting hours, sometimes a day, for a response. Eventually I got the notion that this guy wasn’t into me and I stopped texting him all together. Texting someone is usually an indication that you’re thinking of the person you are texting. If he doesn’t reach out to you at least once a week, you’re not on his mind.

His excuses don’t make sense- We’ve all had that one excuse that got us out of doing something we don’t want to do. Some of these things include dates. When you ask a guy to go with you somewhere, but he says he has work, you don’t think about it much. However, when you see he’s active on Instagram, it starts to make you wonder. Usually when he makes up an excuse as to why he doesn’t want to go on another date with you it can be a sign that something isn’t right. Social media is usually the best spot to call him out on his BS. If he says he’s at work and a snap goes up saying “Saturday is for the boys!” he’s at a different kind of overtime.

Should you be devastated if a guy isn’t interested in you? Absolutely not! If someone isn’t interested in you, I can guarantee that there is someone who is interested in you out there. It’s all part of the dating process. Let’s be honest with ourselves, we would probably do the same with someone we weren’t interested in. But it’s important to remember that the real world isn’t high school. It’s time for us to be adults and just be honest with the person and gently explain to them that we don’t see ourselves being anything more than friends.


Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Why Your Texts Messages Are Not Being Answered

With modern technology, we have become spoiled at getting things quickly, even instantly. Email, social media, and texting have created a lifestyle of impersonal communication. We don’t talk to each other enough, either by the phone or face to face. Most people I know say they hate talking on the phone, some also hate texting. On the other hand, too many are addicted to their phones. You cannot go anywhere without seeing people staring at, scrolling or texting on their phones. We’ve forgotten how to be present in the moment.

One thing that is very common is people get impatient when their texts aren’t answered quickly. They take offense, get agitated, and let it ruin their lives for the day. But there are plausible reasons why someone doesn’t respond to your messages quickly. Then there are reasons you will never fully understand. Follow along and find some answers.

Dead Zones

If someone isn’t answering your texts it might be they are in a dead zone location, a spot where you can’t get enough reception to send or receive messages.

People traveling will often hit areas where there is no reception. Consider these:

  • The Mountainous
  • The countryside
  • The desert
  • The ocean
  • Long stretches of highway through farmland
  • Forested areas
  • Most state and national parks
  • Anywhere there aren’t towers close by

If you know someone is going to be someplace where there is a risk of getting no signal, be patient.

You are not going to get cell service in a national park such as Yosemite.
You are not going to get cell service in a national park such as Yosemite. | Source

Lost Charge or Charger

My phone loses it’s full charge more quickly than I like. If I don’t fully charge before I leave the house and I am gone for a long period of time, it will run out.

Sometimes I lose or forget my charger at home. My car charger is of poor quality and takes forever to charge my phone.

Some people are careless about not charging.

If you know this about a friend or family member, then there is probably nothing you can do about it. But just keeping it in mind might prevent anxiety.

Lost or Damaged Phone

Someone could lose or damage their phone at any time, any place. Here are some mishaps that can happen:

  • Dropped the phone on a hard surface.
  • Dropped it in some source of water (I once dropped a phone in a glass of water).
  • Left it in the sun too long.
  • Left it at home.
  • It fell under the car seat or somewhere else in the car.
  • Misplaced it at home or someone else’s home you were at.
  • Left it at a location just visited.
  • Left it in a public restroom (I once entered a stall and found someone’s iPhone on top of a low shelf next to the commode. Ew.
  • Left it in a grocery cart, church pew, classroom, meeting, etc.
  • Accidentally dropped it in the trash and didn’t know it.
  • Set it on top of your car and drove off.
  • It fell out of your purse or you dropped it and it went sailing under something where it was hard to reach.
  • Keep these things in mind as it is likely to happen to everyone who uses their phones almost everywhere they are.

People are Busy

People have lives. They get busy and can’t or don’t want to respond because they are doing something important to them.

  • At the doctor or getting medical tests.
  • Out shopping.
  • At church.
  • At school.
  • Dining with co-workers, friends, or family.
  • Enjoying some recreation.
  • Helping a sick or needy family member or friend.
  • At work.
  • In a meeting.
  • They are driving. It is against the law and dangerous to use a phone while driving.

Allow people to have a life. If your message is not urgent, don’t get worked up. Not everything is about you. It isn’t a rejection of you, they are just busy and will get back to you.

The person you messaged might be at the dentist.
The person you messaged might be at the dentist. | Source

Illness or Adversity

When people are sick, they may not be up to talking or texting. It is the same way if they are going through some difficulties and having a hard time coping. Here are some examples:

  • Influenza.
  • Post-surgical.
  • Hospitalized.
  • Injury involving lots of pain.
  • Cancer (the treatments are often equal to or worse than cancer itself).
  • Any other illness that drains energy, causes pain, fever. and weakness.
  • May be depressed. If they can’t get out of bed they don’t usually have the energy to talk or type.
  • A family or some other emergency.
  • An accident or car breakdown.
  • They’ve been going through a tough trial, or series of trials and just don’t feel like conversing.
If someone is too depressed to get out of bed, they are not going to be up to talking or texting.
If someone is too depressed to get out of bed, they are not going to be up to talking or texting. | Source

Personal and Relationship Issues

I wrote this article a couple of years ago and was inundated with comments and questions about why a boyfriend, girlfriend, or friend was not answering your messages. So I took it down and rewrote it to address those issues. I have no way of knowing why your friends aren’t responding, but what I learned is that people have a lot of insecurities, are immature, needy and cannot cope with waiting for a response. Here are some things to think about:

  • You have offended them but they are not up to confronting you.
  • They are avoiding you because you are demanding in your relationship. It may be subtle and you don’t recognize it, or it may be glaringly apparent and you don’t care.
  • You’ve had an argument and they are not up to talking.
  • Your expectations are too high for the other party.
  • They are lazy about or do not like using their phones.
  • They may just be flaky people who don’t care.
  • They might be otherwise engaged with others.
  • They may be trying to get back to you from some slight.
  • It is important to be honest with yourself and be willing to take stock of your relationships and your own behavior and make some changes.
  • If you have a tendency to carry on long conversations via text it becomes tedious for people to have to type and type and they get tired of it.
  • Some people just don’t like to communicate at all. It’s not personal, they just don’t like communicating with anyone.
  • You may be barraging them with constant messages, or someone else is and they are tired of it.

How You Should Respond to the Absence of Their Reply

If you find yourself impatient, disgruntled, or downright ticked off when someone doesn’t respond to your messages right away, it is important to consider the many possibilities above. Drama is not the answer. Drama means angry confrontations, pouting, telling friends, bad-mouthing them to others, especially on social media. These are not appropriate behaviors and reflect immaturity. Not only that, but you are putting a huge amount of stress on yourself. You could be doing something useful or satisfying rather than being consumed with your anxiety. Don’t let delayed responses or no responses rob you of a good life. I realize there are times where it is very important to speak with someone and I understand why anxiety arises in those situations. Formulate a game plan ahead of time. Be gracious to them and to yourself.


Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

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