Guys Divulge Which Annoying Traits They Find A Turnoff In A Potential Partner

Here’s another one from one of my readers…

 

Unfortunately, not everybody is meant to be dating each other.

Society has socialized us to think finding a dating partner is the be-all-end-all of our lives. We must be dating somebody and get married, it is part of the expectations our family has laid down in front of us.

The truth is, we don’t need to do any of that. We don’t owe anybody ourselves, especially people that we find overtly awful.

u/TheUfo_ asked:

Here were some of those answers.

Girls trying to get a guy’s affection/attention by flirting with other guys. Inspiring jealousy is a horrible race to the bottom that both men and women practice.

If you’re into someone, just approach them. Don’t play games. No matter how it plays out, the best-case scenario is at least one person is hurt.

Being obsessed with their social media presence. It’s usually a good indicator of lots of other qualities I’d avoid.

Major jealousy. A little bit is expected, but I had a girlfriend once who tried to attack one of my friends because she was a female friend. Like what the hell

Personally, I would say being constantly and unreasonably upset at minor things. I have been with a girl who would lose her mind over stuff like a goodnight text sent ten minutes after the usual time, messages unanswered for a while because I was busy, playfully poking fun at her that gets misinterpreted, not noticing if she was sad fast enough, and plenty of other things. Had to constantly be aware of what I was saying and doing in order for her to not get upset. Jesus, I had to put an alarm on my phone to precisely remember to send goodnight texts. Granted, I don’t like my messages being unanswered either, but I don’t throw tantrums for it. Frankly, if I have to deal with you instead of being with you, the relationship isn’t worth it, at least for me.

I’m to the point now where the second I see “chase me” behavior, I’m out. I have no patience for it, and I have enough experience to know that I’m probably not going to enjoy myself if I do give it a shot.

Having no empathy for others. Or, on the opposite site: A person with a lot of empathy for their fellow humans and also animals has got a big plus in my book.

It has to be materialism.

There are so many things to appreciate in life, but disproportionately valuing high-quality “things” is just a ton of red flags IMO. And let me clarify, I don’t just mean “I like to buy lots of stuff”.

I mean, ascribing value to another human-based upon their material things. And viewing your own self through the lens of the quality of items you have.

The amount of things to unpack there is just too monumental to even attempt.

People who cling to a subcultural identity. I’m specifically talking about the “country girl” one cause that’s what I grew up surrounded by: the girls who wanted to be exactly like the women in country songs. As I grew up and went to college, I got to see a lot more subcultures–goths, metalheads, hipsters, etc.–and while plenty of those people are awesome, it’s the ones that cling so hard to their subculture as an identity that gives me pause. It’s an insecurity I guess, on their part? Which I do understand, but like, I don’t know, when you’re so obsessive you make something your whole personality, that gives me pause.

Also, horse girls. And I don’t mean girls who have horses. My sisters and I have a couple horses (or rather, my parents have horses that they say are ours lol), but they aren’t horse girls. Horse girls are…an experience.

I once dated a girl who, at least once a day, had a story about how X person was coming on to her, or she got cat-called at the store, or her manager tried to flirt with her, etc.

At first, I believed her, didn’t have a reason not to. But after a while, it just became so obviously a lie that it made her seem pretty pathetic tbh. There was a bunch of other stuff she lied about too, serious stuff that was kinda fucked up.

Another girl I dated was really good at guilt trips. She’d do everything she could to make me feel awful for not buying her that stuffed animal that I knew was just gonna go in the closet later, or for hanging out with my friends instead of her even though I told her about the plans month+ in advance, etc.

The current GF is super awesome though, I keep having to remind myself she isn’t like the others. I still get anxious when she sees something and says “oh that’s cute!” or something similar because I got so used to being guilt-tripped into buying my ex anything she wanted.

Girls who brag. I just cant stand it. I broke up with a girl once over it. I didn’t tell her that was why, but it was. She would brag about her Dad’s money, how guys always come on to her, how smart her dog was, how she was elected president of her sorority (I mean she mentioned this all the time), the type of coffee she bought, etc, etc.

 

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Author: phicklephilly

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