Thanks to more progressive views in the civilized world, more trans women can now freely enjoy the world of TS dating. While there is still a long way to go towards acceptance and understanding of the transgender community, they can enjoy some freedoms that previous transgender generations could not.
Now that many trans women are out and open about their sexuality, it’s time to start educating people who wish to date them. There are right and wrong reasons to date a trans woman, the same way there are right and wrong reasons to date anyone of any gender or sexual orientation. So below, we’ll highlight some of the top reasons to date a trans woman and whether this is a good reason or a bad one.
Wrong: Dating a Trans Woman Because It Fulfills a Kink
Trans women face enough of a stigma in the dating world. However, what makes TS dating for them even more difficult are people who date them out of curiosity. Trans women may sometimes meet potential partners who are incredibly fixated on dating a trans woman for the “experience.” They care less about who she is as a person and will instead see her as a sexual object or worse, a kink.
Another downside to this is that when some people date a trans woman for the “thrill,” they end up hiding her away from other people. Not only is this a sign of an unhealthy relationship, but it’s also incredibly dehumanizing for the trans woman.
Wrong: For Lack of Anyone Else to Date
There are some people who see dating trans women as a “last-ditch” effort to have a girlfriend. There are some men (and even women) who think that dating a trans woman is easy. This is because they believe that trans women don’t have a lot of dating options, so they’ll date anyone who is interested. However, of course, this is never a healthy foundation for a relationship. When someone chooses to date a trans woman, genuine attraction should trump desperation every time. It’s never right to date someone simply because of a lack of other options.
Wrong: “I Didn’t Know She Was Trans!”
Lastly, there are some people who don’t know that they’re dating a trans woman. Many trans women in the TS dating scene are open about the fact that they’re trans. However, there are some who need to feel more comfortable with their potential partner before mentioning it. This can be a slippery slope because ideally, being trans shouldn’t affect one’s attraction all that much. A trans woman is a woman and she should be treated as such.
However, being trans does matter. Trans women’s experiences in life differ markedly from those of ciswomen. Being trans is part of who they are, though it’s not the sum of who they are. People who date a trans woman that doesn’t know that she is trans will feel betrayed that such a crucial part of her life was kept hidden. This can then lead to conflicts down the line about openness and communication.
Right: Genuine Attraction
The only right reason to date a trans woman is a genuine attraction. This is not an attraction despite the fact that she’s trans. Rather, it’s an attraction based on who she is as a whole. The community of trans women is incredibly diverse. People attracted to trans women can run into a few of them who are not their type not because she’s trans but because of a lack of compatibility. Likewise, it’s not impossible to meet a trans woman with similar interests, preferences, experiences, opinions, and life goals.
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