Cherie – Chapter 70 – Epilogue

This is my most dreaded post to write. I mean, to be honest, I’m not filled with dread, but it’s just sad I need to write another one of these.

But everything that begins… ends.

There’s no forever in this world.

Cherie and I had a decent run for a year and a half. More than I could have expected at my age.

But I think going into this one I knew it had an expiration date. I loved Cherie and still do, but this time, and probably for the first time I didn’t go into this one  ‘in love with the idea of love.’

It’s odd how our relationship ended. Normally there are words and feelings and break up words. But this time there was nothing.

That’s never happened to me.

Where someone I was in an intimate relationship with just sort of faded away. You’ve read the previous chapters and it just sort of fell apart.

I was fine with how things were, and would have done whatever necessary to preserve it, but I could feel things were falling apart for a while.

Cherie’s silly hostility towards me because she missed me was juvenile, and was a waste of time. Just be nice, and enjoy the time we have together. We both realize, we’re both busy, but when we can be together don’t squander it with your attitude.

I’m good to you, Cherie.

Unlike my relationship with Annabelle, I went into this relationship on high alert. I had to protect my heart from the devastating effects of a break up, so I went into this knowing that things may not work out.

Unlike all of my other relationships. Where I fall madly in love and then the reality hits and I’m destroyed at the end of it for the next two years. That didn’t happen this time.

I loved my time with Cherie which is so well documented here. Probably my most detailed relationship. I walked down the street with Cherie and thought, ‘wife’ she was so sweet and chill.

But was it doomed from the start or would it have even worked long-term?

She lived 40 miles away. She lives with her parents at 30 and has a 7-year-old son who has behavior and emotional issues. Cherie has her own set of health problems. She works at CHOP which is a great deal for life, but you have to fly straight. Baby mama drama with the ex-husband. Financial issues. Over run by school and trying to graduate from Temple with your BS in psychology. The problems with your car. The problems with your family.

It all seemed to overwhelm her.

It seemed from her words that she wanted things to go back to the way they were when we first met, but she mentally and physically couldn’t go back there.

To me, all she needed to do was un-fuck her attitude and just come here and I’d take care of all the love and pleasure.

That one time she came here with her head in a knot, once we had sex, she was fine.

I know sex isn’t the solution to relationship issues, but a good rogering always helps smoothing out things between couples.

But it was just a band-aid on a bigger problem.

Cherie and I come from two different worlds. Our time together met the end of each others needs.

But only temporarily.

Cherie had been broken from a bankrupt relationship she had with a woman she loved. That woman used her for money and sex, and ended up abandoning her.

She had a kid at 17 from an older white guy who already had a family.

She worked at MacDonald’s for 10 years.

If this isn’t a black woman’s guide to hard knocks I don’t know what is.

I love Cherie and I’m so proud of her. But she’s been burned and her tolerance for enduring long-term pain is low at this point.

Her friends told her to get out there and date again and she reluctantly agreed.

That’s when she met a 55-year-old white man on Tinder.

She had talked to people on that app but the only date she ever went on was with me.

I’m that convincing.

Why should she ever be with someone like me?

A solitary cat who has finally come to know himself. He loves to work and be busy. He gets his energy from people he meets every day. He writes a dating blog that publishes everyday and has failed in ever relationship he’s ever been in. He makes horrible decisions in regard to romance. He always dates young women. They love him for his charm and grace, but they all leave him for the same reason. He doesn’t want to get married again or have any more kids.

My daughter, Lorelei is plenty.

You would think this would be a perfect scenario. Hot, smart, fit black girl who loves sex and is super chill and doesn’t want any more kids. I did too. And so did my friends. I would tell them about my new girlfriend and some would say… it sounds like a booty call.

Because we hardly ever got to see each other.  I was always working and so was she with CHOP, school and her son.

I think after a period of time that distance took a toll on our relationship.

It would on anybody. When I saw her it was magic, but there was too much time on the in between with me and Cherie.

It wasn’t me, because I like distance. I like to work and be busy, and not be in a day-to-day relationship. But I think the distance and time away destroyed Cherie.

When she did come here she seemed distant and bitter, which I didn’t understand. I thought, ‘you’re here. be happy, I’ll love you and please you.’

But that didn’t happen. She would be shitty to me in my presence and then apologize for it later in text.

Sadly for Cherie, I have very low tolerance for nonsense in my life now and her behavior didn’t bode well with me.

And having gone into this relationship with her with a clear mind of what could happen I was ready for its end.

In the beginning it was sweet, but quickly became aggressively sexual on her end.

I’m honored and blessed a fit hot baby wants me to be with me. This shouldn’t even be happening between me and a girl on the right side of 30, but it is.

She seems perfect. She wants to crawl into the back seat of her Saab and get it on. I’m resisting. I want to get to know her.

I’m always that way. I love dating.

Dating is so elegant and beautiful.

It’s courtship.

Sex is sex.

We all get it. It’s the end, really.

But dating is sooo romantic. Romance is the best part of every relationship.

It’s new and feels so good.

I’ve worked in sales my whole life. Once you’ve closed. The client’s just in the system.

The sex with Cherie was glorious.

She’s probably the only woman I ever met whose brain is really directed to her libido.

That guitar goes straight to the amp.

I’ve been with all the hottest women and they have so many problems, thoughts, ideas, switches, buttons, issues with sex and it’s a sad failure. They can’t get their train into the station and it’s mostly in their heads and stuff they learned from shitty magazines and their peers.

But Cherie….

Her signal is so clear and strong, she comes 15 times during straight up sex, because she’s in tune with her body.

That is so beautiful.

I’ll miss that.

I’ll miss being the hero that brought her that level of joy.

I’m honored at my age to have been able to give a woman that level of pleasure.

But the weight of her life has cast us asunder.

 

I think we’re done.

 

I haven’t heard from her and am actually relieved I don’t have to deal with this.

I know it seems weird but I think we both saw it coming.

We could have stayed the same but I just felt like I was losing her.

Nothing can stay the same.

Relationships need to grow. My last 3 haven’t. There’s a pattern here.

I need to stop.

I don’t want to hurt anyone. Maybe I should just date.

Anyway at this moment loyal readers, I am pretty sure it’s over between Cherie and I.

That’s it. It’s finished.

I’m sad and sorry.

 

 

If you think you’re showing symptoms of coronavirus, which include fever, shortness of breath, and cough, call your doctor before going to get tested. If you’re anxious about the virus’s spread in your community, visit the CDC for up-to-date information and resources, or seek out mental health support.

 

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Cherie – Chapter 65 – Words and Feelings

“I feel like we’re getting lost.”

“I never feel lost but it seems you’ve lost interest in me. The last two times I’ve seen you you’ve been cold to me even though I’ve tried to be warm. It’s been hard to be with you when I saw you. I was doing all I could and you were cold. I tried to take you on dates (because I love dating you love!) but you were cold. If I could put this in basic terms… if you and I were making love on the regular, things would be better. When we’re together on a regular basis our relationship sings. But we’re both so busy with school and work it’s been killing our face time. Cherie, I love you. Since we shared an umbrella in the rain. Club Quarters. You’re my mate. I’m so happy with you in my life. I’m working my ass off and I don’t know what to do. I would be honored just to eat some tacos with my pretty baby. I miss you everyday. I love you. I hope you can hang in there with me dear.”

” I love you and miss you and I do enjoy our time together, but this distance with both of our schedules is killing me. I tried not to be cold but couldn’t because I’ve just been so annoyed that we’ve been apart and I’m not used to it and I don’t like it.”

“So when can I see you again Cherie?”

“I don’t know. I work Saturday.”

“Me too.”

“Yea. I don’t know then.”

 

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Bailey – Chapter 5 – New Years Day

If I had to pay bar prices every time I went out I’d have to sell a kidney.

Bailey and I had planned on our second date to go to the movies on New Years Day. She said she had to check in with family but would let me know for sure the next day. So if she wanted to bail then she could simply tell me she had obligations on that day. Then we could set it up for another time.

But she got back to me the next morning with a solid confirmation that she was good to go for an afternoon matinée. I send her a link to the Ritz theaters over the weekend so she can look at the lists of films currently playing in those theaters.

She gets back to me in a little while and wants to see I, Tonya, the dark comedic film about fallen ice skater Tonya Harding. That sounds awesome. That’s the one I wanted to see too. We locked that decision down Saturday and I send her a calendar invite. Bailey accepted it immediately. The 2pm show at the Ritz at the Bourse building.

As time went by after our last date at Gran Cafe L’Aquila, I was feeling less amorous about Bailey. But I thought it would be something to do on my day off. I don’t get many days off and it would be fun to sit in a theater on a bitter cold day and watch a movie. The huge presence in the dark, the buttery popcorn, M&M Peanuts and a soda. Can’t beat it. Maybe it wouldn’t cost me and arm and a leg. But it probably will. If she wants to get drinks and food after the show it’ll bankrupt me. (Kidding, but I stopped doing this kind of dating a year ago. Why am I such a sucker for young, fit women?)

Sunday I worked and closed the salon at 4pm. My buddy Church came down and we went to Marathon for dinner. It was glorious. It was so good I wrote a solid Yelp review for them the next day. Just a low-key New Years Eve with a dear friend of mine. He even brought me a space heater to keep my daughter Lorelei a little warmer in our drafty old Rittenhouse apartment. The holidays have really been busy and fun this year.

The next morning I get to sleep in because it’s New Years Day and my first day off in over three weeks. I’m lying in bed just snuggled down and reading stuff on my phone. I’m also tackling major life decisions like; I could get up around noon and shower and be ready by 12:45. Walk from 18th and Pine to 5th and Market in the Arctic temperatures, and get to the Bourse before the 2pm show at the Ritz.

Around 11am I get this text:

“Hey Charlie Happy New Year. I have some miserable news. Please don’t hate me. Over the past 48 hours I went from sore throat to a full throttle cold. I can barely breathe and I’m sweating like crazy. I hate cancelling, can we reschedule for later this week?”

“Oh my gosh! Of course. Get some rest.”

“Ok. Thank you. I will.”

 

Are you folks thinking what I’m thinking? Yea. New Years Day Hangover. She’s 28 years old. She went out last night with her friends and got hammered like every other 28-year-old in this city.

I text my friend Karina. “Are you guys open today?”

“Yes! but I won’t be there until 5.”

“Cool. Thanks!”

I shower up, get bundled up. Grab my laptop and head to Cavanaugh’s. Normally on a Monday they have the 1/2 off Cheesesteaks, it’s quiet and I get great service from Karina.

I get there and it’s packed. No one is eating. Everyone is drinking. I hate New Years. I go downstairs and the music is playing too loud and it’s busy down there as well. What did I expect it’s fucking New Years Day! Who can drink like this? It’s gross. Who wants to be shit faced by 4?

I know the bartender downstairs. She’s nice and I tell her I’m going to stay. She proceeds to tell me that there is no 1/2 off cheesesteaks today because of the holiday. They don’t need to run any specials when the place is mobbed. Fuck Me! I hate drunken crowds but I’m going to grin and bear it. I order my food and everything’s on point. I just have to get my armor on and the rest of the day will be great. I think I’m the only guy in here with his laptop open and actually dining.

It was a stressful meal but delicious all the same. I throw the bartender $17 in cash and I’m out the door with my gear. I walk the two blocks east on Sansom Street to the Hotel Palomar. Into my favorite hotel bar, Square 1682. It’s quiet, warm, bright and I’m happy. I get a water and a glass of chardonnay with a side of ice. It’s about 3:30 by now so it’s okay if I have a glass of wine before 5pm on New Years Day.

There’s a girl behind the bar that I don’t know. She must work the shifts when I don’t come here. My man Roman (See: Roman – Rock n’ Roll Bartender) will be in shortly. I nurse the single chardonnay for nearly an hour. I’m happily typing away about Bailey and our second date. Funny… I’m writing about our second date on what was to be our third date.

I love this bar. My most beloved in the city because I have so many great memories with so many great and crazy people. Of course without Roman, the whole thing falls apart, because he’s the connection.

I typed away and Roman took over. Now it’s a party. Over the next couple hours I plowed through 5 glasses of wine, wrote 3 new blog posts, met a lovely group of people from Maryland, and even charged up one of their phones. They were feeling no pain when they arrived and continued drinking at Square. They were going to go to El Vez for dinner and then hit the dive bar, McGlinchey’s. They just want a bar they can smoke in, but I warned them that the place is a bit banged up.

I’m having a lovely day. I like being the guy at the bar getting all of the attention. The people leave, and I’ve had enough. I get the bill and it is a stunning $5.50. I tip another $5 on the card and place another $20 in cash in the book. Roman is simply my favorite bartender in the city. Maybe the world.

I pack up my gear and walked home in the bitter cold. I don’t mind. I’m well bundled.

I get home at the end of the first day of the new year with a smile on my face. My daughter follows shortly after and we’re happy to be home.

Around 8pm I get a text from Bailey. “Hey. How was your day? I’ve been sedated most of the day.”

I don’t get back to her. She needs to know I’m too busy to get back to her.

The next day I’m at the salon and I return her text. “I had a great day! Hope you’re feeling better.”

She gets right back to me. “I am. Thank you.”

And that’s it.

I did stalk her on social media (Facebook) to see what she’s been up to. Surprisingly, she does make mention of catching a cold and being sick.

I’m going to do nothing at this point. If she wants to see me again, she’s going to have to reach out to me now. She’s going to have to offer availability and yield to my schedule.

Sorry Bailey, I see why you’re alone at 28. You had an opportunity for something wonderful and you just don’t get it. The second date was what really drove it home for me.

So we’ll see what happens…

 

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Bailey – Chapter 3 – Second Date – Part 1

Eating a flight of gelato at Gran cafe L’Aquila is like listening to a Beatles album. Every song makes you feel different.

I have been texting Bailey and things seem to be going well. Her birthday is the day after Christmas so we decide to meet up for drinks at 8:30pm Wednesday night. The day after her birthday. Based on our first date I wanted to step up my game and wow her with something unique. I tell her to meet me at Gran Cafe L’Aquila. I figured at 8:30 at night we’d have some wine, maybe a little snack and of course… a flight of their amazing gelato! World class. The best I’ve ever tasted. If you want to impress a lady, take her there.

I close up the salon and head over. The city is beautiful during the holidays. I get there and the place is swinging because it’s the week between Christmas and New Years.

There are only two seats at the bar and it’s tight. I love this place though. They have a lively staff that are all very Italian and everything about the restaurant looks authentic.

Bailey texts me that she’s 5 minutes away. I order a chardonnay. My go-to beverage when I go out. The holidays have been great this year. Between work and events, I’ve had something going on every night this week!

Bailey rolls in and we hug. It’s nice to see her again. I help her off with her coat and we clamber into our seats. She orders something bubbly.

The bartender asks if we’re having food, and I think maybe calamari. Just a snack and then later I’ll blow her mind with the gelato flight.

They give us a menu and she’s perusing it. The first page is always what they’re featuring from a region in Italy. The other two pages is everything else they serve on a daily basis. The other 10 pages is all wine, cocktails and dessert. It’s like a book!

“I’m hungry!”

I don’t like the sound of that. Nine o’clock at night is snack, wine and gelato. That’s it. But now we have an issue. But its date number two and her birthday yesterday, and it’s the fucking holidays, so I’m going to take one for the team.

My girlfriend is black, but this is classic black girl behavior. Bailey is a light-skinned black so she must be some kind of mix, but this is a lot of what they do. You all know I’m not racist. I love all women. I have all their albums. Huge fan. I’ve had three black girlfriends. I love every flavor that God can make of girls. I truly do. But black chicks will eat as much as they possibly can if it’s free. I’ll tell you where this comes from. Black people have been oppressed by everyone for hundreds of years. They never got anything and were treated like shit for centuries. But unfortunately once they’ve been somewhat accepted into white society and the workplace they get all they can. They don’t even know they’re doing it. It’s just a need, because they never know if it’s going to happen again. Maybe this could be the last time it ever happens.

Every time I’ve been at an event or a meeting and there’s black women there, they all sit together and devour as much food as they can. I know I’m not the first white person to notice this.  But in this day and age everybody is so scared to say anything. But, again… my girlfriend is black and I love her dearly. She’s the sweetest loyal lady. I’m the piece of shit going out on dates with other women because Cherie is never around. But black girls do this thing when it comes to food. It’s a shame really. I’ve seen this for decades. If there’s free food around they will consume it all because they don’t know when it will happen again.

They get knocked up by some loser, have a kid, guy leaves, and she ends up living at her parents and they help raise the kid. This happens over and over. Even my girlfriend’s sister had two kids that are being raised by the grandparents. This is a cycle in the black community. That bitch met a new guy and has gotten pregnant again. Is she going to raise this new one? She’s not even married. Oh, you can’t raise the two rugrats you have and you got knocked up again? What are you insane? These are human beings! How can you be so reckless with your family?

Black women are amazing and have to put up with a mountain of shit in their lives. Just being born black in this country is a setback. I’m blessed to have been born into the family I was and they were somewhat normal. We all have our crosses to bear. But I know what this little encounter is going to turn into.

I remember Bailey telling me about issues with her mother. I haven’t heard too much about dad. But come on… both nostrils pierced, the septum, and the Medusa. Oh, and the tattoos. You’re screaming for someone to look at you and please pay attention to you. I’ve met dozens of you. In all races, shapes and sizes, dear.

Bailey suggests we get a table. Fuck. I can already feel the wetness from my debit card leaking tears into my back pocket. I talk to the bartender and he sets it up.

We head upstairs and get a table. They check our coats and give me tickets. Bailey isn’t accustomed to this level of service and hospitality. This is a first rate joint.

She takes forever with the menu. That’s okay. When I brought Kita here she did the same things. I forget girls in their twenties are overwhelmed by monster menus at fine eateries.

I already know what I want. I get the same thing every time I come here. Grilled half chicken, rosemary potato wedges and asparagus. Done. I’m just sipping and waiting at this point.

There’s two families across from us with cranky babies. I want to toss those little fuckers over the balcony. But I’m a parent and I have restraint. I hate my friend Marigold’s kids and my friend Rob and Laura’s kid but I don’t have to raise them. I only have to see them once a year and that’s enough! I did a good job with my daughter Lorelei and she’s turned out lovely. You have one shot. Be a fucking parent. Put yourself aside and do a better job than your parents. Take the best of what they did and do better and be firm and gentle. It’s not that hard. Be patient and love them. They’re children! They’re like puppies, train them and break them in!

Baliey finally settles on a dish and we’re good. Conversation is good and she looks great. She’s all in black and looking cute.

The server, Karina comes back and takes our order. But before she does that, she asks if we want an appetizer. (As a sales guy I love the upsell, but don’t pull that fucking shit on me with this hungry girl) Of course Bailey wants a fucking appetizer now. (Goddammit!)

“Oh… yea.. lets get the mozzerella plate shrimp thing.”

I’m not going to touch that shit. It’s 9:30 at night. I just wanted a light snack and now I’m fucked for a full blown dinner here.

Appetizer comes out and Baliey rips into it. I never touch it. She devours most of it and when the dinners come out Karina asks to take it away and Bailey keeps it. She’s going to kill any food that comes to this table. That’s her personal goal. Just like at Dan Dan Christmas eve. She devoured everything.

I get it now.

Dinner was nice. I actually cut a piece of my amazing chicken off and give her the first taste from my fork. (I haven’t had a bite yet, but I want her to taste first because I’m a gentleman.) Bailey assures me she’s okay with germs but I wanted her to try it first off a clean fork. She loves it of course. Yea, it’s great grilled chicken under a hot stone. I knew she’d love it.

To be Continued Tomorrow…

 

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Bailey – Chapter 2 – Twas the Night Before Christmas…

I confirm with Bailey that we are still on for 3:30. I think it’s cool to be meeting a girl for the first time on Christmas Eve. Just something romantic about that.

I close up the salon around 3pm that Sunday. I figure I’ll head over to Dan Dan early. It’s a cute Asian bar/restaurant around the corner from the salon. I walk over and figure I’ll get there early for a pre-game glass of wine to take the edge off. I’m looking forward to meeting Bailey. I go in. She’s already at the bar. Wow, a girl that’s early. I like that.

I greet her and she looks cute. We shake hands and decide to move to a quiet corner of the bar near the wall. It’s cold out and I don’t want her to be chilled every time someone comes through the door.

There is some woman working the bar not my buddy. I ask where he is, and she says he doesn’t work Sundays. I order a chardonnay and she the Pinot Grigio. We start chatting. I review some points on her profile that I really liked. The banter is going well. I notice on several instances that she is touching me. That’s a good sign. If a woman touches you, she definitely likes you.

This is good.

We order a bowl of their famous noodles. It’s big enough to split. She forgoes the chopsticks for a fork. I think our date is going well. I love meeting a new girl on Christmas Eve!

We exchange stories and she’s loving the noodles. Surprisingly my buddy Nate shows up and he’s here to work. I’ve known him for years and I always usually follow him to wherever he’s tending bar. He comes over and greets me by name. This always makes me look good to whomever I’m with. It’s good to know people in the hospitality industry.  When you go to wherever you know people you get the hook up. Men define themselves normally by what they do. Women on the other hand define themselves by who they know. I know so many people around the city, it wields power when you’re out on a date. It makes her feel she’s with a man of substance and importance in his surroundings.

I eat come of the noodles but Bailey pretty much polishes them off. She must have really loved them! She also appears to want something else. I hand her the menu and she goes with the shrimp pot stickers. I normally go with the pork but let the lady have what she wants.

She orders another glass of wine and I do the same. The pot stickers come out and Bailey rips into them. I’m good with what I’ve had and doing just fine with my wine.

We’ve been here for about two hours. It’s a solid first date. I tell her I’m ready to wrap it up and she has to go pick up some gift cards and visit her grandmother. I think that’s sweet and she calls for an UBER.

I pay the bill. It’s not bad. it’s the holidays and I asked her to come here. She doesn’t live in the city so she did all the traveling and I want to pay. Maybe Bailey can be my new affair.

I settle up and we go outside. I thank her for a lovely evening. I want to see her again. We agree to meet up again and go on another date. I have an idea and I tell her I’ll be texting her. The car arrives, we hug and she’s off.

I later get a text from her thanking me for the evening and that she is home safe.

So maybe I’ve got a new fun girl to hang with but only time will tell.

 

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