At some point in their lives (16-24), most people will make a sex mixtape — a collection of songs to set the mood during lovemaking. Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey had a playlist like that, only theirs was nothing but a loop of Carey’s song about how real heroes never go soft halfway through.
In 2012, during an interview with chain-smoking grandmother Howard Stern, Cannon revealed that when the then-couple had lovin’ on their minds, there was nothing that got the bodily fluids pouring like queuing up a couple of her tracks and going to town on each other. Their favorite Carey anthem? Her soft and sweeping “Hero.” Maybe it’s because of encouraging lyrics like And then a hero comes along, with the strength to carry on. Or maybe it’s because Cannon doesn’t have any music of his own worth listening to while you’re trying to bump uglies. Either way, this should come as no surprise to anyone familiar with Mariah Carey, who insisted on giving birth while listening to a recorded live performance of her own song, “Fantasy,” so she could hear her fans clapping for her.
But unlike most of us, Cannon was getting off on his wife’s singing long before they were married. In the same interview, he also told the world that he jerked it to the very same song, which might be the most loyal version of masturbation anyone has ever admitted to. After their divorce, Cannon admitted that sharing those tidbits had gotten him into trouble with Carey. Maybe telling the world that he needed two Mariah Careys to whisper in his ears might have contributed to their split. At least he has her music to keep him company at night.
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As Generation Y-ers, you all use social media. It’s a way of life. Where would we be if we didn’t constantly know what everyone in our lives was doing? Social media is an excellent way to stay connected with our peers, but sometimes the use of social media sites, such as Facebook and Instagram, can lead to trouble.
Particularly, when it comes to relationships. When someone has easy access to their significant other’s photos, conversations, etc, it can lead to a bit of an obsession. Constantly checking in on your partner is never a good thing, and new studies are starting to prove that.
New research from the University of Missouri School of Journalism has confirmed that too much social media can screw up your relationships, to the point that excessive use makes relationship conflict more likely, which can then lead to cheating and breakups.
Um, no thank you:
“Previous research has shown that the more a person in a romantic relationship uses Facebook, the more likely they are to monitor their partner’s Facebook activity more stringently, which can lead to feelings of jealousy. Facebook-induced jealousy may lead to arguments concerning past partners,” says doctoral student Russell Clayton, who led the study. “Excessive Facebook users are more likely to connect or reconnect with other Facebook users, including previous partners, which may lead to emotional and physical cheating.”
This doesn’t just apply to Facebook and IG, of course. Chronic social media stalking of any kind is detrimental to a relationship. Learn how to trust, and learn how to put away your iPhone for a while. If you’re looking for something, I guarantee that you’ll create a problem.
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The following advice is important and has always worked for me. Good luck, gents!
In the romantic gamble of dating, you must have come across this idiomatic phrase – ‘way out of your league’. The phrase in the simplest of dating terms means that the girl whom you badly want to date or had Cupid’s luck to make your girlfriend is someone who is more accomplished, a stronger individual, more loved and adored by people, than you. Is your hope of dating a girl out of your league futile?
Every time you see her, walk with her and talk with her, you feel the world’s gaze on you. It’s as if you can almost hear them throwing dirty and incredulous looks at you that very clearly read – “How can he date someone who is way out of his league?” So, you end up with this unsettling feeling in the pit of your stomach –’ she’s way too good for me’ or ‘I am simply not good enough for her’. And you are convinced that your love interest is way out of your league and nothing will work between the two of you.
But before you start doubting yourself, let us let you in a secret – the most accomplished, beautiful, and gorgeous women often fall for men who like them for all the right reasons. These women know they have the power to make guys worship them, but they are looking for someone who looks beyond the gorgeousness. Now, if you are genuinely interested in dating a girl out of your league, we are here to help. If you are looking for answers on how do you get a girl who is out of your league, we tell you how.
How to tell if a girl is way out of your league
She is someone whom every guy has set his heart on. They’d go to any lengths to date her and are willing to impress her with charming looks, money, and extravagant gifts. And you are losing your heart because you are just an average-looking guy. STOP! Don’t lose heart, not just yet, because you too have a shot at dating her.
Before you actually go after the girl of your dreams, you might want to decide if she is really way out of your league or simply pretending to be. Is she just an attention seeker who toys with many hearts at once?
Finding out if a girl is way out of your league actually varies from person to person depending on what skill sets, ideas, expectations, and behavior she outranks you in.
6 ways to find out if a girl you plan on dating is out of your league
Consider her looks: It’s a common dating behavior observed among people. They tend to pick dating partners who can match their own attraction levels. So, if you think you are less good-looking than her or are simply average-looking, then there is a chance she may consider herself out of your league. As shallow as the reason can be, that’s the brutal way the dating world works
Consider her socio-economic class: This is the most common method taken by guys to figure out their leagues. If she is a rich girl walking around in expensive cars and designer clothes, she may consider ‘money’ as a deciding factor in dating. Keep track of her past relationships if any, and see what kind of guys she has dated in the past, and do a quick background check of their economies. However, that doesn’t mean that poor guys don’t date rich girls. You simply have to see if your rich girl dates poor guys or not
Check her education level: For some girls, brains matter equally along with beauty. If she is far more educated than you, she will rule herself out of your league and date someone with similar educational background
Try to know her lifestyle choices: In order to be compatible, you need to know if you share the same lifestyle choices and outlook towards life. If she is a fitness freak and you’re not, if she’s religious and you’re not, if she believes in the goodness of humanity and you do not, chances are slim that she will prefer dating you
She never introduces you to people in her life: She agreed to be your girlfriend, yet somehow she has successfully dodged the occasion of introducing you to anyone from her social circle. That is your cue to know that maybe she likes dating you, but not that enough to introduce you to her friends and family. Chances are that she considers herself out of your league and you are not good enough for her
She’s noticed more than you: It’s not as if you didn’t know, but the universe never stops reminding you. Whenever you walk out, she’s the one who easily blends with the crowd or strikes a conversation with total strangers. She is smiled at all the time and is often complimented more. She has a huge friends circle. Every time, she is the one overshadowing you and you are simply a dull spot in the backdrop
That’s how you slowly get to know that maybe she is out of your league. You weigh her, and then you weigh yourself on many parameters. Yet, the attraction remains and a part of you wants to date her, get to know her better, and even fall in love with her, even as your close friends keep telling you she is a girl out of your league.
So, what to do next? Do you simply let her go, or do you win your way into her league?
Definitely, gird your loins and try to win your girl. So here are 8 tips to impress the girl who is out of your league.
8 tips to date a girl who is out of your league
We have seen many couples walking down the street or at a family dinner where the one question would always tug at our minds –” How did he manage to get someone out of his league?” So if you feel your chances of dating a hot, glamorous girl out of your league are grim, try out the below tried and tested tips while trying to woo a girl out of your league.
1. Get past her looks
A lot of guys want to date a good-looking woman only for the sheer fun of it – she is pretty and she can be arm candy. If you are really interested in her, ask yourself why would you want to date her? Is it because she’s hot or because you like the way she is? Of is it just to boost your social status, win a bet or make an ex jealous. That would be really cheap on your part, and you will not be successful.
But if you wish to date her to know her, and enjoy things that both of you like, then go ahead. Picture her in your head with a double chin and a few extra pounds – does she still appeal to you? If she does, you would always be sincere with her and that can make you win her, forever.
2. Change your negative dating beliefs
Do not always limit yourself to the belief that girls date rich and handsome guys only. Ask any hot girl and she will tell you how shallow this all seems and how desperately she is looking for someone who’d like her beyond her looks! Someone who comes with just a rose but a heart full of love and eyes that gleam of affection. Someone who yearns to spend time with her, not the friends to show her off!
You must know someone who could prove this belief wrong and show that not all girls are the same. You simply have to rise above these negative beliefs and find yourself a dating partner, even if she is way hotter than you.
3. Get over the fear of rejection
Negative dating beliefs combined with the fear of hearing a ‘no’ push many guys out of the game of love. Step over that fear and pretend that she is ‘not’ out of your league. Some girls are haughty and rude, but not all girls are the same.
And you would have done your research on her before you’d actually made up your mind to woo her. Approach her with that make-believe courage and you’ll be surprised to hear a sweet ‘yes’.
4. Make the most of your friend zone
Sharing great friendships with women can actually give you more insight into what women really want. Your friends (who are girls) can actually help you drop your inhibitions around women and that way you move closer to her league. You will be surprised when you know that they are looking for simpler things in their life- not expensive cars and extravagant gifts!
5. Treat her as someone special
The fastest way to win a girl is by making sure she is appreciated and is treated like a queen. Don’t just compliment her. Try to know the little things about her. What does she love doing when alone? How does she take her coffee? What does she fear the most? When you try to reach the real her and make her see how beautiful and special she is, there’s no way she will seem ‘out of your league’. She will seem like a really simple person beyond her clothes and reputation.
6. Be the real you
Don’t try to buy yourself into her heart by showering gifts, making extravagant promises, and making up stories about your life to impress her. Rather, be honest with your feelings. Talk about the genuine episodes of your life, ask her about her life. Share something real. Work on your sense of humor- which will stay with you even when other physical charms fade away. That will make her drop her league for you in the long run.
7. Build your self-confidence
Whether you make money, change your appearance, build six-pack abs, nothing is going to get you your girl until you work on your self-confidence. Get to the root of your insecurities and weed them out. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, focus on grooming your own talents. Maybe she is better looking, but you are the better guitarist. So why not try to work on your guitar skills to impress her? She may be out of your league, but once you decide to run that extra mile and work upon yourself, you will be in her league.
8. Show her you’re good enough
Most guys put a lot of effort into getting the attention of the girl without having any plans to sustain it. Once you have the girl’s attention, make sure she gets to see who you really are. Always be a gentleman, treating everyone with respect and honor. Never show off and don’t be a jerk whom she doesn’t even want to see. Take your time in knowing her and always be cordial and warm towards her. Do not act desperate for attention. Do not stalk her or make her feel unsafe – just be around her when she is in trouble. Be someone she can rely on; not someone who cracks cheap jokes at the expense of others. She will definitely start noticing you if you make sincere attempts on getting her attention.
Girls who are approached the most are usually not treated with much respect or are asked for sexual favours. Show her that you’re not like the rest and are not looking for a short term sexual fling.
Keep in mind the above tips and work on them if you are serious about dating. Who knows, the next time you walk down the street with your girlfriend, everyone has a tough time answering – “how did he find someone way out of his league?” But you sure know the nuances of attracting and dating a woman.
And, you just smile your way on.
Oh, and one final note that’s always worked for me. No one is out of your league if you’ve got good game and are confident in yourself.
If you’ve already succeeded and have met a lovely girl, I say well done, sir. You earned her!
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One of the most fun parts about dating or talking to someone new is the “texting” phase. Every time you hear your phone’s message notification, it feels like a little electric shock runs through your stomach. But should you reply right away, or is it better to play it a little “cool”? There is definitely something to say about the idea of wanting what you can’t have, but does ignoring someone you like make them want you more? According to Connell Barrett, Dating Transformation founder and executive dating coach, straight-up ignoring someone you’re crushing on not only doesn’t look good, but it may even come back to bite you in the end.
“I would never endorse ignoring someone,” says Barrett, calling the behavior potentially “manipulative.” However, he adds that it is sometimes a good idea to give someone you’re interested in some distance to feel your absence. “It’s OK to give someone the gift of missing you — to give them space and let them think about you a little bit.”
This is especially true when you are first getting to know one another, says Barrett, when it may actually be the most tempting to just leave them on read or ignore them completely. “If you’re in the early stages of dating, you want to avoid being overly eager, because that can come across as needy,” he explains. But Barrett adds that this doesn’t mean you should be rude or play mind games. “Rather than ignoring someone, you want to cultivate a full, rich, busy life, and people who lead busy lives will give the person they’re dating space because they’re not always texting and calling,” he says.
The issue, Barrett explains, is that purposefully ignoring someone is a mind game, and it’s inauthentic, which can easily backfire. So, his advice is to stay busy instead of just pretending to be busy. “Instead of ignoring someone, which creates the appearance of a full life, cultivate an actual fun, rich life, and then you won’t have to use tactics like ‘ignoring.’ You’ll just be busy, which does make you more attractive,” he says.
Barrett stresses that when you are interested in someone, it’s all about finding a balance between letting them know that you’re open to dating without coming off as “too eager”. “Dating is a dance, and part of that dance is not to be or appear needy or over-eager,” he explains. “Actively ignoring someone might work in the short term, but it usually backfires, because if there are mutual interest and chemistry, it will just come across as ‘game-playing’ and manipulation.”
What Barrett is ultimately getting at is that, if you want a real connection, you might want to just be authentic with the object of your affection. Sure, ignoring them may work in the short term, but you’re actually short-changing yourself by simply creating the artifice of a full life instead of striving to actually have one. It’s also easy to get caught up in a lie. So, maybe just give the mind games a pass and go ahead and reply to their texts instead.
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It’s not hard to make someone dislike you, whether you’re interacting online or in real life and there’s something you can do to not be that annoying person.
1. Humblebragging. That’s where you pretend to be self-deprecating, but you’re really saying something positive about yourself. People see through it, and it’s a turn-off.
2. Including a smiling emoji in work emails. Smiling in person makes people like you. But emojis can make you seem less competent. Especially in a professional setting.
3. Using an extreme close-up as your profile pic. According to research, four-and-a-half feet is the best distance between you and the camera lens. Pictures taken from a foot or two away make you seem less trustworthy.
4. Sharing too many photos of the same people. According to research, friends don’t like seeing too much of your family. And your family doesn’t like seeing too many friend photos. So you might want to consider a more balanced approach.
5. Never talking about yourself. Asking questions is a common tip we hear because most people like talking about themselves. But you CAN ask too many. And when you never talk about yourself, it’s harder for people to feel close to you.
Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.
