5 Signs It Isn’t Love, Even If They Say Otherwise

Early red flags in a relationship that your partner is not in love, even though they say ‘I love you’

Oh what’s love got to do, got to do with it
What’s love but a second hand emotion
What’s love got to do, got to do with it
Who needs a heart
When a heart can be broken

—Tina Turner, What’s Love Got to Do With It

Ah … love.

I could end the post right here and you would all know what I mean. No more words are needed to describe that slightly insane, crazy-good feeling.

The force behind Shakespeare’s sonnets and the inspiration for countless heartfelt and wrenchingly bad amateur poems. The impetus for infidelity, the catalyst for the Trojan War.

How we long to hear those three sweet words whispered in our ear, written on a perfumed note, texted with a makeshift symbol <3, or broadcast to the world with skywriting.

When we start a promising new relationship, our hearts tremble in anticipation, wondering if–or when—the love bomb will drop, and who will be the first to drop it.

Enough already. We either feel it or we don’t, right? Well, if you’re a self-aware person with standards for what you want in a partner and a healthy respect for other people’s feelings, that’s an accurate statement.

But not everyone has it together when it comes to relationships, and a potential partner’s emotional disorganization can cause huge problems once the bomb bay doors have opened and “love” is in the air.

Here are five warning signs that what your partner feels for you isn’t love, even though he or she is saying, “I love you.”

They’re not the obvious ones we’re all familiar with: abuse (emotional or physical), disrespect, manipulation and control, intense neediness, and hero worship, among others.

These signs are more subtle and can easily be misinterpreted as real love, because they feed the part of our ego that craves to be adored and accepted, the part that still searches for the soul-nurturing love provided by an emotionally healthy parent (or not provided by an emotionally disordered one).

Unlike the red flags that feel wrong, these signals feel right, because they feel good and enable us to indulge our love of … love.

1. Too soon.

To know me is to love me … said the narcissist to anyone who can be forced to listen.

But the truth is the reverse. To love someone is to know the person, to have achieved a level of emotional intimacy and to accept the person underneath the hair and skin.

Love is both a feeling and a commitment, both emotion and action, both noun and verb. It is not something that develops instantly or even after spending a number of ecstatic hours with someone over a few weeks time.

Love, at first sight, is a potent combination of curiosity and lust, and the feeling we experience after meeting someone we are both attracted to and click with is infatuation.

If your partner says I love you too soon, it’s a good bet he doesn’t know himself or his feelings, or she wants to be in love more than she wants you specifically. So watch out for early professions of undying affection.

2. Too much.

You would think you could never hear the words “I love you” too many times from your lover.

But a compulsive need to confirm love feelings is not sweet; it’s indicative of potentially dangerous emotional issues, and if you need to hear it every 20 minutes or 20 times a day, you’ve got issues of your own.

One reason partners keep saying “I love you” is insecurity. They repeat the words to hear them back from you and dispel any doubt.

Another is a lack of emotional integrity. Your partner may be faking it until he or she makes it, using the constant repetition to convince him or herself of feelings he or she doesn’t actually feel but is hoping will develop in time.

The third and most problematic reason your partner may bombard you with the love bomb is to guilt you into expressing reciprocal feelings you may not actually have. There’s no greater relationship killer than one person saying, “I love you,” and the other not saying it back.

Whatever the underlying explanation, when someone says “I love you” too much, that person is putting his or her feelings above yours and is likely to do that throughout the relationship.

3. Too physical.

 The sad fact is, our bodies change as we get older, while the person we are inside may grow intellectually and emotionally but remains essentially the same.

If your partner only says I love you when giving or receiving physical affection (or as a precursor to sex) or only attaches love statements to your physical features, you could be in trouble down the road.

Your partner may love to be with you, and specifically to sleep with you, in your current physical form, but that “love” may wane as age and time take their toll.

Simply asking the question, “Will you love me when I’m 60 or when I’m old and gray,” won’t help much, because you’ll simply hear, “Of course.”

Try counting the number of times you hear “I love you” after you’ve said something intelligent, do something your partner feels proud of, or—and this is a tough test for anyone to pass—when you’ve just stood up for yourself.

4. Too compatible.

It’s amazing. Your partner loves everything you love.

The same foods, the same books, the same movies, the same interior design. You never—not just rarely but never—disagree on any choices.

The words, “No thanks, I’d rather,” are not part of your vocabulary.

Some, even a lot, of shared interests and tastes is natural; it’s one of the things that attract you to each other. But unless you’re dating a clone of yourself, each partner should have distinct interests and tastes of his or her own.

When everything matches to a tee, it’s called mirroring, and you may be doing it as well as your partner. Psychopaths mirror to draw victims into relationships by making them think they’ve found the perfect mate.

You may not be dealing with a psychopath, but you may also be unaware of your partner’s real likes and dislikes, because he or she is not sharing them for fear of rocking the boat or because it would puncture the illusion of perfection.

Suppressing disagreement also leads to resentment. The places you need to be compatible are your values, your goals, and your parenting philosophy if you’re planning to have kids. Other than that, vive la différence!

5. Too tight.

 I’m not talking about something not fitting properly here. I’m talking about a partner being so consumed with the idea of an “us” that he or she forgets there is you.

If you find your partner frequently singing your virtues as a couple or always talking about how great you are together, he or she may be indulging the fantasy of being in a relationship without experiencing either the actual relationship or you as a person.

Us comprises two independent people who choose to be together, to bring their individual selves into concert with one another.

If your partner surrenders his or her individuality without a fight or even a whimper, you may be with someone whose psychological integrity is compromised and who will ultimately define his or her identity around the relationship.

This makes it harder for you to leave if you choose to, because severing the bond destroys the identity your partner has built around it.

The “us” that you become with a partner develops out of the ways the two of you connect and find common ground. Celebrating the “us” before you’re really a couple is a sign of insecurity and desperation.

Now that you know what to look for, you can enjoy a sincerely spoken “I love you,” or the words lit on fire by the side of the road, even more.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

What Happens After Sleeping With A Guy Too Soon

Does having sex for the first time with him too soon send the wrong message?

In a new relationship, there’s a big temptation to have sex for the first time right off the bat.

But both conventional wisdom and experience show that having sex too soon increases the likelihood of ruining a potential relationship.

Yet if you’ve fallen into the sticky trap of sleeping with someone too soon, even knowing that it’s not in your best interest, you may have:

  • Gotten caught up in the moment
  • Mistaken sexual chemistry for more than what it is
  • Craved intimacy
  • Had sex for validation after a breakup or a dry spell
  • Used sex as leverage
  • I Felt pressured and wanted to please the guy
  • Believed you could have a no-strings-attached relationship, only to later want a real boyfriend-girlfriend relationship
  • Thought you were the exception

Having sex too soon is actually fine — just make sure that of you have the same understanding of the nature of your relationship.

But if you want a real, long-term, and committed relationship, having sex too soon sends the wrong signal to the guys you date.

What Happens After Having Sex With A Guy Too Soon

Hollywood movies perpetuate the fairy tale version of having sex too soon — girl meets boy, they have sex early on, something happens to tear them apart, and then the boy comes back for the girl.

In these fantasy movies, one-night stands become real relationships. We buy into the fantasy that having premature sex doesn’t ruin a relationship when real life consistently shows us otherwise.

Are you thinking, “But I know a woman who has slept with a guy early on, and she’s now married to him!”

Yes, it is possible to have sex with a guy too soon and have it turn into a lasting relationship. But this is the exception, and it’s important to recognize that.

When you presume you’re the exception, you do a disservice to yourself.

It’s in your best interest to act like you’re the rule and be pleasantly surprised if things work out differently.

Having sex too soon and hoping it will lead to a commitment is trading short-term urges for long-term desires.

When a guy acts on his biological urge and you perceive it as love, feelings of doubt and confusion will set in.

You may ask yourself “Did I do the right or wrong thing?” or “Where do I stand with this guy?”

If you like him a lot, you’ll behave and act in unflattering and desperate ways. Your self-esteem will take a hit because you’ll have compromised your values and integrity to get him to desire you on a deeper level. In hindsight, these will be some of your most cringe-worthy moments.

If you find yourself in this situation, it’s okay. The more important thing is to learn and grow from these experiences.

What You Can Do To Keep His Interest — Instead Of Having Sex

Don’t let a man who just wants to have sex with you pressure you into sleeping with him early on. It doesn’t make him a bad guy if he wants to have sex with you — he is just being a guy, and many women let him get away with it.

Don’t be a woman who has sex with a guy thinking that physicality will keep his interest. Most men seek sex for immediate physical gratification.

Here’s the good news: the beauty of being a woman is helping him see sex as more than a physical sensation. Set the pace by having sex only when you feel comfortable and ready.

Setting the pace isn’t about playing games. It’s about knowing what you want (i.e. a real relationship), then behaving and acting in ways that align with what you desire. If there’s a guy you’re interested in, let him woo you.

Take the time to learn about each other.

Discover what his values are, the kind of relationships he has with family and friends, how he views his job, life, and the world, why previous relationships haven’t worked out, etc.

Let him learn who you are, what you’re about, what you love, and what’s most important to you.

If he wants to have sex before you’re ready, and the thought of being intimate with him appeals to you, you can acknowledge what he wants by saying something like, “I like who you are and want to continue to learn more about you. If things keep going in this direction with our dates, I can definitely see us being intimate.”

If a guy doesn’t stick around because you’re not having sex when he wants it, he is not the one for you.

A high-quality man who really likes you will respect your wishes and wait for you.

The Ideal Time For Having Sex With A Guy

So when you sleep with a guy? A one-size-fits-all answer does not exist. However, there are signs that point to the ideal time for having sex with a potential partner.

  • You connect on many levels
  • You feel good about yourself when you’re around him
  • You like who he is
  • You respect him
  • He treats you with respect
  • He does what he says he’s going to do
  • He’s not having sex with anyone else
  • There are no exes or women from the past in the picture
  • You both want the same kind of relationship
  • He is the kind of man you could see being in a real relationship with
  • Sex feels like the next natural progression
  • If you have sex, despite what happens, you’ll have no regrets

Ultimately, having sex too soon rarely turns dates into a relationship.

Send the right signals to guys you date by slowing things down until you learn you’re truly compatible. When the time is right, the sex you have will be meaningful and more fulfilling on multiple levels.

Remember, a high-quality man will respect your wishes and wait until you are ready to have sex.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

10 Signs a Girl Likes You, According to Her Body Language

What she’s *really* telling you is in the way she moves.

“Does she like me?” This is a normal question to wonder about when you’re on a date with a girl you’re really attracted to. But dating doesn’t have to be a mystery — in fact, there are a lot of signs a girl likes you that you may already be missing.

Attraction is a funny thing; you really like this girl, but you’re not sure how she feels about you. Men often find women to be complex creatures, but figuring out the signs she likes you isn’t as difficult as you think.

If you’re paying attention, the easiest way to know if she is into you is by watching her body language, because it could be shouting, “I really like you!” even though she never said a word.

Here are 10 subtle signs that a girl likes you that you can easily spot on a date:

1. She touches you a lot

This is a strong sign that a woman likes you. The more she moves closer to you and looks for ways to touch you, the more she might be flirting with you.

When you’re in a conversation and she lightly taps her hand on your shoulder or chest, it is a possible indicator that she’s interested in you.

If her touches are more intimate, this might mean that she’s very interested in you, and it’s a possible indicator of her request for you to be more close or intimate.

2. She mirrors your movements

Copying the movement of a person you like without you realizing it is natural. This is because you are subconsciously trying to connect with that person without having any physical contact.

Here is a simple way to test if she will mirror your movement. When you are on a date, pick up your drink and take a sip, or shift your position and lean to the side.

If she follows and she does the same, it means she may be unconsciously mirroring your body movements as a way to show interest.

3. She tilts her head while looking at you

Tilting her head during a conversation is a sign that she’s engaged with you

If you see her tilting her head to the side during your conversation, she may be interested in what you’re saying — or just in you — or maybe both!

You could try changing the topic, and when she’s still tilting her head, it’s a good sign.

4. She constantly “fixes” her hair, makeup, or clothing

She is constantly preening herself in front of you either by fixing her hair, adjusting her clothes, or retouching her makeup.

This is probably because she’s nervous and anxious about how she looks and she wants to look better for you.

This is a subconscious motion, meaning women do without realizing it when they’re attracted to a man.

5. She returns your physical touches

A way to test if she really likes you is to see how she reacts when you touch her.

Try lightly touching her arm or shoulder when you’re talking to her. If she touches you back, that’s a good sign!

If she backs away when you touch her, then she is not comfortable with you just yet. It could also mean she just wants to be friends, or she doesn’t see herself being into you that way.

6. She stares or looks over at you a lot

She’s looking at you, and you notice her, then she looks away. This is a good sign. It may mean that she’s attracted to you, but she doesn’t want you to know yet.

Alternatively, some women maintain eye contact with someone they’re attracted to and don’t shy away.

But if you pay attention to her pupils and they dilate (increase in size), it means she likes what she sees.

7. She blushes

A woman blushes when her adrenaline is triggered with extreme emotion and blood gets brought closer to the skin. The extreme emotion may be because of embarrassment, stress, or even because she’s attracted to a man.

When she is attracted to you, she will blush. She can’t fake it, either, because blushing is autonomic.

You could compliment her and see if she blushes. When she does, it is a good sign that she likes you.

8. She invades your personal space

A strong sign that a woman likes you is when she moves close to you. She finds pleasure in you being physically close and touching her.

Some of the solid signals that she might be into you are when she leans to whisper in your ear, or when she gets close to you and rubs her arm against yours.

9. She smiles a lot

If she smiles a lot when you are around — especially when you’re speaking — it means that you make her feel good. Thus, it is a good sign that she likes you.

There is a huge difference between a forced smile and a genuine smile, however. You can spot this easily because her eyes should also be smiling when she is genuinely smiling.

10. She points her feet toward you

Keep an eye on where her feet are positioned.

According to experts, the gesture of a woman’s feet is the most powerful form of body language. This is because you are not conscious of what your feet are doing.

Studies suggest that when a woman is pointing both feet toward you, it means she’s attracted and fully engaged. It’s also a sign that she’s relaxed and comfortable around you when her feet are farther away from her body and closer to yours.

However, she may not be interested when she is pointing her feet elsewhere or away from you, or when she crosses her feet or legs.

Reading body language is important because a body’s gesture does not lie.

Esther Bilbao helps mentor women to have better relationships, health, and personal development. For more information on how she can help you create a better love life for yourself, visit her website for a 30-day all-access pass for lessons from expert instructors.

 

Sexual Flirting: How to go from Flirting to Fire

You’ve met a new someone and you’re feeling the frissons of attraction. How do you read between regular flirting and that special kind of sexual flirting?

It’s a special feeling. It’s a sexy, unique feeling, and one which takes over your consciousness, leaving you unable to concentrate on much else. I am, of course, talking about sexual flirting and the sensation of being so into something, you literally want to devour them in one sitting. You want them, you know they want you too because they’re mirroring your flirtation, and it’s going to happen sometime, sometime soon.

This building of sexual tension is one of the best feelings at the start of a relationship, but it can also be something that happens between two people who aren’t in a relationship. This is how hooks ups begin!

Whether you’re in a relationship or you’re not, sexual flirting is fun, it’s just the right side of naughty, and it will make the anticipation and build-up to the main event something you can’t get enough of.

But, what exactly is sexual flirting, and how is it different from regular, ‘I like you’ flirting.

What is sexual flirting really?

Sexual flirting isn’t about ‘I like you, it’s about ‘I want you, and there’s a very real difference between those two statements. You can like someone and want to get to know someone, whilst also wanting to get closer to them. But if you want someone, you don’t always have to want to get to know them. Think about Tinder for one, much of the flirting that goes on is downright sexual and nothing else!

If you’re not sure how to go about performing sexual flirting, and you’re trying to give someone you’re seeing the heads up that you’re feeling a little, shall we say, frisky, then let’s check out a few features of this special, steamy type of flirting.

Give these a go!

#1 The eye contact and coy smile combo. We’ve all seen this one, and we’ve probably done it without realizing it. Sexual flirting 101 is catching his or her eyes, looking down for a second, and then letting your eyes run up their body to catch their eyes once more, all with a coy smile on your face. If you bite your finger or sip on a straw at the same time, you get bonus points for extra hot sexual flirting.

#2 Talking just a little naughty. There is a difference between dirty talk and naughty talk, and when you’re trying out sexual flirting, you need to stick to the naughty side of the spectrum. Dirty talk is for when the deed actually happens, not before!

Again, coyness is the way to with this one, something like ‘I’m sorry I can’t help but stare at your biceps’ and then cover your eyes in a joking way and say ‘oh I can’t believe I just said that, to cover it up and give an innocent edge. Sexual innuendos work wonderfully well in sexual flirting because they’re thinking ‘did they really just say that? Or, am I imagining it?’, and it keeps the game flowing back and forth.

#3 Invade their space. You know that regular flirting involves slight touching, e.g. touching their arm when you laugh, or a joking nudge, but sexual flirting takes it up a notch. Now, be careful not to cross any lines here, you’re trying to invade space not invade their personal boundaries!

I’m talking about standing just a little closer than you normally would, so they can feel your breath against their skin. That odd brush against their skin that’s just a second longer than is necessary. These are all sexual flirting hints that aren’t heavy, but make them think ‘hmm, there are signals coming my way here.

#4 Make your compliments suggestive. If you’re going to compliment them on any part of their body, make sure you add in a hint of suggestion. For instance, when you’re trying out sexual flirting, you won’t say ‘oh I love your eye color’ because that’s general flirting and it’s cute, not hot. What you want to do is pick a body part that is close enough to the main event, but nothing too direct. So, ‘you know, you have great legs’ is a good one. Legs aren’t offensive, but they lead somewhere quite sexual…

#5 Stroke their hand. This one might sound ridiculous at first, but hear me out. When you’re out in public, sat holding hands perhaps, make lazy circles on their palm. It feels fantastic, and it’s just enough suggestion to make them know what you’re thinking about. It’s not a full-on PDA, and it’s not going to make anyone uncomfortable, but the two of you will know where it’s going.

Why you should hold it back, just a little

The above five ways are top examples of sexual flirting. You don’t want to be direct and too full on. Firstly, if they’re flirting back there’s a good indication that they’re on the same page as you. But you don’t know for sure, especially if it’s the start of getting to know each other, or you don’t know them well at all!

By going too far, you run the risk of them becoming upset and running away. And that’s never a pleasant experience for either party. Sexual flirting is about testing the waters, seeing if there might be a possibility of more about to happen.

Of course, sexual flirting is also great fun, and when you’re batting the same signals back and forth, you’re going to feel amazing right at that moment. It’s about the anticipation, and it’s about keeping that going for as long as you can before you both spontaneously combust and can’t take the tension for a second longer! By that time, you both know what’s happening next.

When you notice that things are heading towards bedroom 101, hold it back, just a little. Why? Because the longer this flirting goes on, the more satisfying the final deal will be! You’ll both be in a state of frenzy and can you imagine how amazing it’s going to feel when relief comes to the two of you? Divine!

The importance of reading your flirting partner well

I should point out however that sexual flirting is a little risky. I say this because some people can’t handle it as well as others. For instance, if you are flirting with someone who is quite shy, they might not feel comfortable and may feel that you’re coming on too strong.

If you’re trying to build a relationship with this person, they might also feel that you’re pushing things too fast. I can’t give you much advice on this one, other than to test the waters and do what you feel is right. You know this person in this situation, at least a little, and you know whether they’re shy or they’re a little more reserved.

Some people don’t like to acknowledge sex and attraction, they simply act it out rather than talk about it or show it. That’s their choice to work that way and you have to respect it.

This is also where a lot of Tinder conversations go from promising to zero within a few minutes. You talk to someone, they seem great, and you do not have to hook up on your mind. Suddenly they’re hitting the sexual flirting buttons left, right, and center, and it’s just too much too soon. You don’t talk to them again.

The sad thing is they might have just read it all wrong and could be a really great person to get to know. This is why you have to read your partner, or the other person, as well as you can before you give this type of flirting a try.

Regardless, the single best type of sexual flirting is when you both 100% know you’re on the same page, you’re bantering back and forth, the anticipation is building, and it feels like a pressure cooker reaching its peak temperature, about to blow.

When it finally happens, all the time you put into this sexual flirting business will pay off, believe me!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

18 Sexy Movies On Netflix For Couples To Watch On Date Night

Netflix isn’t just for marathoning New York-set comic book adaptations and cherry-picking the most comforting episodes of your favorite sitcoms. The streaming service also has a nice cache of romantic movies that drift towards the sensual. So when you’re spending an evening in with your significant other, there’s no reason to look to outlets that specialize in that kind of thing. Netflix subscribers can access lots of sexy films — some unrated — with just their regular monthly membership fee. But since some of these movies are foreign-made, independent, or otherwise off-the-beaten-path, you may not come across them while casually browsing. So here’s a helpful primer of 18 dirty movies on Netflix that couples can watch on date night.

You may have seen a few of these movies already. Some were major theatrical releases; others are critically acclaimed. But I hope you’ll find some hidden treasure in this list of psychological dramas, hotter-than-average romantic comedies, and pleasantly silly erotic thrillers. With these movies, you and your partner can lose yourself in another romance for a while, experience something new together, and ideally be inspired to get creative and stay connected. You could watch these 18 Netflix movies alone, but wouldn’t it be more fun if you had some company?

1. Y Tu Mama Tambien

Childhood friends Gael Garcia Bernal and Diego Luna broke out in this life-affirming road movie about two bros who take a trip with a mysterious older woman and end up shattering the boundaries between them.

2. Nymphomaniac, Volume 1

This Lars Von Trier sex odyssey is not for the faint of heart and probably requires a pre-game talk to make sure that both of you are on board with what you’re about to see.

3. Nymphomaniac, Volume 2

Ditto on this second installment, which continues the story of the first. The director’s work is an acquired — or, in some cases, never acquired — taste, so if you weren’t down with Volume 1, Volume 2 will just give you more of the same.

4. Last Night

Kiera Knightley and Sam Worthington have a blissful marriage in this romantic drama by writer/director Massy Tadjedin. But they learn the limits of their happiness when they each have the opportunity for an extramarital tryst. Eva Mendes and Guillaume Canet costar.

5. Clouds Of Sils Maria

Kristen Stewart is the assistant managing the charged rivalry between an aging beauty (Juliette Binoche) and the ingenue threatening to replace her (Chloe Grace Moretz). The sexual tension is palpable across all three of them.

6. Blue Is The Warmest Color

Infamous for its lengthy and realistic sex scenes, Blue Is The Warmest Color is also a touching and troubling story about all-consuming first love. Léa Seydoux and Adèle Exarchopoulos were both celebrated for their performances and the film won the coveted Palme d’Or at Cannes.

7. Newness

Like Crazy filmmaker, Drake Doremus brings his dreamy style to a feature about apps, hookup culture, open relationships, and the millennial pressure to want to participate in all of those things. Nichola Coult and Laia Costa lead the 2017 film.

8. Ibiza

This Netflix original comedy about three girlfriends who take a trip to Spain includes a sexy romantic subplot between Harper (Gillian Jacobs) and a hot DJ played by Richard “King in the North” Madden.

9. Love

Gaspar Noé’s erotic drama isn’t particularly positive or heartwarming, but it has sensuality in spades as one man remembers his rollercoaster relationship with the love he lost.

10. You Get Me

This trailer about badly behaving teens (including Bella Thorne and Halston Sage) features lots of partner switching, lies, and artfully constructed drama. And pools!

11. Indiscretion

This erotic TV thriller isn’t good, by any means, but sexual obsession and a forbidden tryst add some excitement. If you’re not necessarily looking for a compelling plot, this will do the trick.

12. Below Her Mouth

Despite boasting an all-female crew, this sexually-charged drama about a same-sex affair has only a 22% aggregate rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Those less-than-great reviews include descriptions like “an undeniably steamy effort” and “sexually frank,” so at least you know what you’re getting.

13. God’s Own Country

A British sheep farmer and a Romanian migrant worker find a connection against the stark backdrop of a farm in this Sundance breakout by first-time feature director Francis Lee.

14. Palm Trees In The Snow

There’s nothing like a long, weepy, bodice-ripping historical drama to put you in the mood. (If you’re still awake by the end of it.)

15. Bull Durham

Whether you’re into baseball or not, you’ll be seduced by this very sexy rom-com about a love triangle between a rookie (Tim Robbins), the catcher who’s supposed to get him up to speed (Kevin Costner), and a super-fan (Susan Sarandon)

16. Blue Valentine

While, yes, you do have to watch the relationship between Michelle Williams’ and Ryan Gosling’s characters implode, you also get to watch the start of it, when their chemistry overwhelmed and no problem seemed too big to overcome.

17. Ex Machina

The literal self-actualization of the femme A.I. played by Alicia Vikander is very sexy, as she blows past her creator’s hope for her and takes control of her life. As man-made as it is, it can’t stay that way.

18. Duck Butter

Two women played by Alia Shawkat and Laia Costa (on the list for a second time) decide to test their instant chemistry by having sex every hour, on the hour, for a full day. Will it push their relationship to the next level, the way they hope?

And that’s your next 18 date nights planned. The couple that streams together stays together.

 

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