Tired Of Being Alone? 10 Ways To Enjoy Being Single

Being single has a lot more benefits than we give it credit for.

Depending on whether or not you’ve been in a relationship, being single can be a positive or negative situation. If you’ve been in relationships, then it’s easy to feel more lonely — especially after you’re used to someone being by your side. If you’ve been single for a while, then you’re more comfortable living life for yourself.

Little do we realize what a blessing it can be to be single. We are not promised to find that one person in our lives. Instead, we have to learn to love our family, friends — and most importantly, ourselves. Instead of seeing singleness as a bad thing, it’s important to use this time being alone to see the good parts of not having a partner.

Holding on to perspective can save us from feeling destructive in our season of singleness. These days on shows, finding your true love is the main mission, when in fact loving yourself can be just enough.

Single people are portrayed as someone who is sad or even pitied — but being single doesn’t mean you have to be lonely. Look to the list below to help remind you that there is a beautiful strength that comes with being single. Along with independence, there are plenty of benefits to being single than people give it credit for. Here are ten ways to enjoy being single that beat being in a relationship any day.

1. You get a chance to focus on yourself.

Being in a relationship can take up a lot of time in our lives. You begin sharing your partner’s problems, without having time to meditate on your own.

“Believe it or not, relationships are ‘mentally expensive,” Susan Winter. The amount of stress in a relationship comes as a price for love. Being single activates a self-awareness of taking time to treat ourselves.

2. You become self-sufficient.

Having to live independently forces you to find your inner strength and not have to depend on someone else to be fulfilled. You have more opportunities to chase your own dreams while facing them without a partner.

Taking risks by yourself allows you to take control of your own journey. Instead of having to constantly fit someone else’s schedule, the only one that matters is your own.

3. You prove that you can be financially stable on your own.

If your partner has financial debt, then it becomes a financial burden on you, too. Being single helps you prioritize financial budgeting, without constantly spending it on someone else. This can also help prepare you for any relationship, to notice red flags in a relationship, and to help you stay financially independent once you’re with someone else.

Take time to look up financial gurus like David Ramsey, and enjoy having control over your finances. This gives you more free time to go out with family and friends, without worrying about over-spending.

4. Self-care is a top priority.

Activities like exercising, meditating, journaling, socializing with friends and more help promote nourishment to our brain. Happy chemicals like dopamine other endorphins encourage positive energy, not only for life but for others.

The single-season refrains us from pushing time for ourselves for someone else. Instead, we’re inspired to go on an adventure of self-reflection. Our identity is essential on our journey through life. Sometimes steering away from relationships forces us, to remember our strengths and weaknesses.

5. You have time to focus on your spirituality.

After experiencing a breakup myself, I notice that getting back to being close to God has become a reality for me. My relationship had to come to an end, but having a relationship with God became the goal.

There’s a personal intimacy with God when you’re single again — where I realize my heart is healing from the separation. This was a time to work on me so that God can morph me into the strong individual woman He needs me to be.

6. You have better connections with your friends.

Yes, your girl or boyfriend might have steered you further away from friends. Take this opportunity to reconnect with them and make more memories. True friends will always be there until the end.

A good friend will always remind your strengths and encourage you to keep moving forward. They will want nothing more than to see you grow, not just in the world, but in yourself.

7. The only person you have to compare to is yourself.

Being single, you start to learn that the only person you should compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday. We all have a chance to grow in life and learn more about ourselves each day. If your partner didn’t want to try something that you were curious about, now is that time to chase after your curiosity!

Being single offers independence to build yourself, so if you meet someone new, then you’ll love yourself enough to prepare for anything. You don’t need someone to feel complete. You need to feel complete with your own life before you jump into another relationship.

8. You have the opportunity to travel whenever and wherever you want.

Waiting for your partner to be available for a trip can leave you feeling disconnected from the world. Grab a couple of close friends or family and hit the road.

Look far into the horizon, knowing you’ll be okay with whatever is on the other side of the horizon.

Traveling helps each and every one of us feel more in tune with the world. New culture, friendships, attractions, and more remind us of how beautiful and wonderful life can be.

9. You get time to figure out what you want in a partner.

Studies show that as much as fifty percent of marriages fail or end in divorce. Can you imagine how easy it would be to date a bad match? Getting to know who you are will help prepare for marriage because you’ll know what you’re looking for.

You’ll be accustomed to who you are and your system, and you’ll focus on who’s the best at compatibility. Even though in marriages you’ll have your difference, but during the seasons of singleness, you’ll have a firm ground to stand on. You’ll know who’s worth working things out and who’s better off with someone else.

10. You get to find comfort in being alone.

Being single doesn’t mean you’re lonely. Some perceptions of singles have a negative connotation to them. You can be just as lonely or secluded even if you’re married. It’s all about our perception of life, and how we feel internally.

Who’s says the ultimate goal is to be with someone in the end? Instead, it could be about the quality of relationships we build, and how well we’ve nurtured our body and mind.

I mean… look at me. I’ve fallen in love a bunch of times and it’s been great. But I love being single and not having to answer to anyone!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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7 Things Your Partner Should Never Ask You to Do

A great partner holds certain qualities like being supportive, loving, trustworthy, and above all, they let you be you. Your relationship should be built on equality, and no one should have more authority than the other. When that does happen, a partnership is no longer considered a partnership but more of a one-sided dynamic, which is never a healthy sign. If your partner or spouse truly cares about you and has your best interests at heart, they should never ask you to do these seven things.
1. Change who you are.

Whether it’s as small as your style or as big as your faith, it is not acceptable for your partner to want to alter anything that defines you. How is that supposed to make you feel knowing that he or she wishes you were different? You’re not allowed to be selective about which qualities you like about your spouse, and asking for anything different says that you don’t accept them for who they are. Unless these changes are actual improvements, be cautious about what you ask of them.

2. Spend less time with your friends and family.

Happy relationships are typically made up of well-rounded individuals who have their own lives. You should be able to have a healthy balance between your significant other and those outside of your relationship. If he or she asks you to spend more time with them and less with others, it can be a sign of control, jealousy, and insecurity.

3. Change your career path.

You should never be asked to be less ambitious, consider other career options, or quit your job, especially if it’s something you love. If your job is affecting the family negatively, it’s understandable to want to discuss changes to your career, but it shouldn’t be an ultimatum. It could also speak to your spouse’s own insecurities if their reason is that they feel threatened by your higher income or status.

4. Give up something for them.

Relationships might require some compromise but never total sacrifice. Anything your partner asks of you that takes away from your happiness, identity, or health is non-negotiable. Before you give something up for him or her, whether it’s a hobby or time, make sure they’re reciprocating the request and that it’s not just a one-sided thing.

5. Do something you’re uncomfortable with.

Being with your partner doesn’t mean they have more of an excuse to put you in situations you don’t approve of. They shouldn’t ask you to cover for them, do things in the bedroom that you’ve already established you don’t like, or do anything that would jeopardize your reputation or relationships. They should also know better than to put you in scenarios where there’s little room for choice.

6. Show them your phone.

Unless you’ve given them reasonable grounds to question your trust, your spouse shouldn’t ask to see your personal texts or emails. Privacy is so important, especially in relationships when the other person is practically a part of you. You should never feel controlled or monitored by your SO, and if you do, think about whether your partnership is truly healthy.

7. Pick sides.

Yes, your partner is essentially your teammate, but that shouldn’t imply an us-against-them attitude. It’s not OK for them to pit you against your friends and family, or to put you in any situation that requires you to choose them over anyone else. There’s a difference between having your partner’s back and being forced to show your loyalty.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Friday Night Dinner

Philadelphia, PA – Early 1970s

When I was a kid, several people in the neighborhoods had what they called cookouts. You could smell it in the air when it was happening. I always loved that smell, but my family never did it, nor did we ever attend a cookout. Now it’s called grilling or barbecuing.

I always knew when my friend Michael’s family had a barbecue because it was all over his shirt after dinner.

I always loved that smell of a cookout, but would never even try anything like that until my early twenties. Just that aroma of burgers and chicken sizzling over the fire, slathered in barbecue sauce, smelled amazing. But It just wasn’t something we did as a family back then.

We rarely ever went out to a restaurant as a family when we were kids. I remember my mother telling me that when we were really little if they took us to a restaurant and somebody started fussing, it was over. My parents were very proud and respectable people. They never wanted their kids to be the ones disrupting other people’s dining experience, so we simply stayed home for dinner. Plus, I was a fussy eater, and going out to a restaurant even back then was expensive for a family of six, so it was too much.

But as we got a little older, sometimes on a Friday night my dad would come home from work and we’d all pile in the car and he’d take the family to a place called Burger Chef up on Cottman Avenue.

We loved it. The food was good and it was a fun night out as a family. My mom hated cooking so I’m sure it was nice for her to have a night off. Can you imagine hating to do something, and you had to do it every night for six people for over 25 years? She always told me she’d rather do all of the dishes than have to cook. But my mom was a good soldier and did what was needed for her husband and kids back then.

Years later, some of my fondest memories of my mom was when I was a teenager. She’d wash, and I’d dry the dishes for her. It was a time after dinner for us to bond, chat, and listen to the radio together. I’d tell her who all of the artists were and why they were so good. My mom always loved music, so we always had that in common. Sometimes we’d even sing along together.

Anyway, here’s a link about this remarkable predecessor to Macdonald’s.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burger_Chef

I would get a kid’s sized hamburger and we’d all share the french fries. We never had fries like that at home, so I loved them!

We’d all be on our best behavior for obvious reasons. We were all taught early on how important good manners were and how to behave in public. My sisters and I were so well-behaved in public that my mother once told me that people would come up to her and tell her how lovely her children were. What those strangers didn’t know, was the unbridled wrath we would be shown if we ever acted rude or disrespectable in public. We were raised correctly. Sadly, much of that is lacking today. Good manners don’t cost a thing and everyone should practice them every day. If you’re raised properly as a child it will carry you forth through your whole life. But you’ll always have to navigate your way through all of the animals on this planet. But I digress…

We were good kids on our best behavior happily munching our burgers and sipping our delicious milkshakes. You really can’t find a good milkshake anymore in any fast food restaurant. You actually have to go to an old diner where they make it with real milk and ice cream. When you can find a good milkshake it’s a thing of beauty.

We eventually switched from Burger King to MacDonald’s but it was all the same to me. I was just happy to be out munching on delicious fast food!

Look how cheap everything was back then!

Vintage Fast Food Menus That Look Way Better Than Today's

We were just chilling at the table and chatting with our folks, just being our little unit among the other diners. But my sisters and I had bigger hopes for the evening beyond delicious fire-grilled burgers and golden buttery fries. There was something else. Something unspoken between us kids. We quietly prayed that after dinner something else might possibly happen. And if it did… it would be a glorious event.

Because up the road was a magical place.

Even as my father pulled the vehicle out of the parking lot of the restaurant, we would all look out the windows knowing if we were headed home, or if we were headed in a different direction. We would know, and the anticipation would begin to build.

As long as dinner came off without a hitch, we’d be rewarded with a little trip to a second location. A place beyond a child’s imagination. A place rivaled only by what we imagined that the warehouse behind Santa’s workshop at the North Pole looked like.

We would make our pilgrimage to this oasis of sheer joy.

Yes… Kiddie City!

Remembering LIONEL Playworld & Kiddie City stores on Twitter: "EXCLUSIVE: Remembering LIONEL Kiddie City in Rochester New York! 🥰 FOLLOW us on Twitter JOIN us on FACEBOOK @ Remembering Lionel Playworld &

Here’s a couple of actual shots of the place in the 70s.

Kiddie City. Castor Avenue--we got t go here and pick out one reasonably-priced toy each birthday. | Favorite city, Toy store, Childhood memories

Kiddie City | bluesmavin | Flickr

There was a 5 & 10 in our neighborhood. There may have been little toy shops on Rising Sun Avenue near our house in Lawndale. There was even another toy store nearby, called Baby Town. But this place…. this was a gigantic store. A destination. A brilliant building filled with every toy a child could possibly ever want in life. I mean… everything!

Walking into that store and seeing aisle after aisle of every toy you could possibly ever imagine was an amazing occurrence. I think I would never have that level of excitement until Christmas morning. This place was so exciting to kids, but Christmas was pure euphoria.

We’d all wander around the store looking at all of the toys. Our parents were always close by and making mental notes for our Christmas lists. Unlike most families, my parents never got caught up in Black Friday or any of the hustle and bustle of the Christmas shopping crush that most people experience each holiday season. Unbeknownst to us, my folks shopped for toys for us All Year Round.

Do you know anyone who did that? I don’t. They bought for us all year round. They would hide them all in the basement in the back of closets and under tarps in boxes under the pool table. Probably in their own bedroom closets or even at my father’s office. No one was the wiser and my parents were like elves doing Santa’s work on a monthly basis. Which not only was easier on their finances and budget but resulted in the collection of an absolute bounty of toys for us kids.

My father had kind of a crap childhood, and his father, although a great earner at an insurance company, showed little interest in his two sons. He’d rather be at the bar tossing back a few with his buddies.

He’d simply toss a few bucks to his wife and tell her to pick up some toy trains and some other stuff. My father in turn did not repeat his father’s lack of performance. My dad went the other way. He loved Christmas and every aspect of the holiday. He went crazy at Christmas and I’ll cover that in a future post. But let’s just say, I’m surprised my father didn’t have a direct line to the North Pole to the big man himself. (I’m kidding… My dad WAS Santa Claus!)

We’d look at all of the goodies and drool over all the stuff we wanted to get. And… if… IF… we were good, we might even walk away from the night with a little something. Maybe a little doll or a car, but better yet… possibly a book.

We didn’t get many toys throughout the year. I don’t know what other kids got, but in my neighborhood, I’d know if a kid got anything new. But at Christmas, that’s when you got all of the things you wanted the entire year.

So, I’ve always associated fast food with good times with my family. It was a rare occurrence, but when it happened it was magic!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Men Share Why They Would Never Date a Single Mom

Moms need love too

Despite some fathers’ wishes, dating is a part of coming of age. Moving from a blissful romance between a girl and her imagination into the harsh reality of the actual dating world is… tough. It would be great to be able to say that it gets better as you get older, but the truth is: As girls grow into women, dating only gets harder. The more you’ve dated, the more baggage you bring with you into the next relationship.

While some come out of relationships with passport stamps, pets, or a few bad memories, others come out of relationships with children. Trying to get into a new relationship as a single parent is more complex than not. Your dates are dating you and your kid, not just you.

For a variety of reasons, these guys refuse to date single women. Here’s why…

Loving Then Leaving

I don’t date single moms because the ones I’ve dated have all left me to go try and work things out with their baby daddy. (Anonymous)

Out All Night

I won’t date a single mom. I need a girlfriend who can hang out whenever and not worry about finding a babysitter (Anonymous)

Well, that’s strange

I’m a single dad, but I won’t date a single mom because of the awkwardness of being around their kid (Anonymous)

Respect

I will never date a single mom so long as I can help it. I refuse to look after someone else’s kid that won’t respect me. (Anonymous)

Heartbroken

I’ll never date a single mom again! 2 years seeing her little guy almost every day, loving him like my own, and now I lost my place in his life, I’m heartbroken (Anonymous)

A teenager, you say?

I could never date a single mom unless her kid is a teenager (Anonymous)

Emotional Baggage

I refuse to date single moms because the ones I’ve dated just all have way too much emotional baggage. I can barely take my own, let alone someone else’s. (Anonymous)

No Dads Here

I feel bad because I won’t date single moms. It’s not that I don’t like kids or think they’re a stigma, I’m just not ready to be in a dad-type role and don’t want to waste anyone’s time. (Anonymous)

Yours comes first

I’m a single dad. But I don’t date single moms. I know it’s hypocritical. But I get tired of them imposing their parenting views on me and my little girl. (Anonymous)

The Risk Factor

Why I won’t date single moms: who wants to love a child like their own only to have them taken away from you forever if you break up? I don’t trust anyone enough to risk that. (Anonymous)

No kudos for you

I don’t date single moms. Kudos to the guys who are man enough to take over where another man left off, but I’m not down with all that. I’m not raising someone else’s kid. (Anonymous)

A Man With Standards

I honestly don’t mind dating single moms. I slightly prefer it. I just refuse to date them if they don’t put their kids first. (Anonymous)

How do you feel about dating a single mom? Let us know in the comments and SHARE this article!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Here Are Five Things You Do That Make People Dislike You

It’s not hard to make someone dislike you, whether you’re interacting online or in real life and there’s something you can do to not be that annoying person.

1. Humblebragging. That’s where you pretend to be self-deprecating, but you’re really saying something positive about yourself. People see through it, and it’s a turn-off.

2. Including a smiling emoji in work emails. Smiling in person makes people like you. But emojis can make you seem less competent. Especially in a professional setting.

3. Using an extreme close-up as your profile pic. According to research, four-and-a-half feet is the best distance between you and the camera lens. Pictures taken from a foot or two away make you seem less trustworthy.

4. Sharing too many photos of the same people. According to research, friends don’t like seeing too much of your family. And your family doesn’t like seeing too many friend photos. So you might want to consider a more balanced approach.

5. Never talking about yourself. Asking questions is a common tip we hear because most people like talking about themselves. But you CAN ask too many. And when you never talk about yourself, it’s harder for people to feel close to you.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1