My Wicked Mistress – Part 3 – The Final Piece

Back in ’13, I was sloshing through life smoking cigarettes, drinking booze, and eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.

But then I met Annabelle, and everything changed. I stopped smoking and went on the Paleo diet to look better for my new girlfriend.

I went from a 36″ waist to a 32″ waist in about two months.  It was miraculous. I never slowed down with my boozing, but the ciggies were gone and so was the fat off my body. It was great.

But what I later realized was, that I didn’t do it for myself. I did it to look good for a 26-year-old girl whom I just met at age 52.

I was never in love with her. I was in love with the idea of being in love. The rush of new love and romance. That dopamine drop I got from falling in love was better than any glass of liquor or drug you could ever take. It’s a euphoric high.

But it’s not healthy. I simply traded ciggies and fatty junk food for something else. All for the wrong reasons. I didn’t realize any of this at the time, but it’s just a weird cycle of events that one can spiral through at the onset of a new relationship.

The relationship only lasted 9 months for obvious reasons. We had nothing in common. She had no idea who she was or where she was going. And she was too young for me and from a world that was different than mine. The fundamental things that make for a good relationship between two people just weren’t present.

I didn’t mind that she was gone, but I didn’t like that she kept coming back every month for these little drunken hookups. It never allowed either of us to heal. It just kept the wound open and I had to put a stop to that. So I cut her off for good.

It’s all well documented in the series on this blog, and in my first book, Phicklephilly: One Man’s Journey to Find Love in Philadelphia.

You can read about that disaster here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

So, once she was gone I went back to smoking cigarettes and eating and drinking whatever I wanted. But I remained active and never really gained the weight back.

But in 2018 I gave up cigarettes for life. I was just sick of them and no longer enjoyed any part of it so I ended it. But in the first part of this series, you can see how I traded it for the JUUL vapes. I like them and at least nothing’s burning, there’s no carbon monoxide, there’s no mess, no dirty cigarette smell on me and my clothes and house, and no dirty ashtrays. Just a cleaner vice. (For now!)

Then in 2018 I had the health scare and cut out the consumption of the “oceans of chardonnay and the lakes of vodka” I consumed like I was in Motley Crue in the 80s. Now I consider myself a teetotaler. I probably drink less than the average American now and it’s great. Like cigarettes, I’m just not that into it anymore. I like feeling good and being clear and sober.

I used to write this blog drunk all the time in the beginning. The booze helped loosen my mind and my tongue to release all that content from my brain. But now I only write sober and hardly drink at all anymore. It’s great!

Now here we are in 202o-2021 and I go from running the sports bar on 11th street and 18th street on weekends to sitting at my desk all day writing my blog and my books during covid. This goes on for the rest of 2020 into 2021.

I’m writing my blog, which I’ve monetized, there are book royalties that roll in, and I write freelance commercial articles for companies across the country. So there are a few revenue streams but I still want something to do once my year and a half of being on the dole runs out.

The first retail place I drop my resume off hires me the next day. Spectacular. Any fear that I’d be too old or not able to find work after the pandemic vanished. I’ve got the gift of gab and a myriad of talents, so off I go again into a new vocation and social chapter of my life. I have no fear about anything now. I have no one to impress. I’ve had a colorful life and I just want to keep living and feeling good.

They gave me a couple of T-shirts to wear while working there. But I quickly realized the only ones that fit me comfortably were XL. Extra-large? Really, Chaz? You’re 5’9″ and have been a relatively slim guy your whole life.

But I haven’t been slim. I’m supposed to be, but my boozing and poor diet kept me looking bloated and paunchy. I could hide it with a black button-down shirt and a blazer, but there’s no escaping what your body really looks like. I’m not fat. I’m just out of shape and carrying too much weight for my sized frame.

So I decided to go back on the Paleo. It worked like a charm back in 2013. But I did it for the wrong reasons. I did it to look good for some young lady. You have to do things for yourself. Not someone else. That never works. You’re lying to yourself. You have to eat right and exercise and live right because you want to look and feel healthier for YOU. You should look like you’re supposed to look.

It’s pretty hard because you don’t need cigarettes. That’s a toxic poison. You don’t need drugs. You don’t need booze. You can live perfectly well without any of that. But you must have food. If you don’t eat, you’ll die. And that’s why it’s so difficult for most people to lose weight. We’re surrounded by food in our culture and so many of the things that make us fat or are bad for us taste soooooo good!

But you have to discipline yourself. Cut out the refined carbohydrates, sugar, and caffeine and you’re on your way. Fish, lean meat, nuts, fruits, and vegetables. All foods found in nature are all you need to be healthy. (Sure you need some carbs, but you can always add them back after you’ve turned your weight around)

By the time you read this, I should have already achieved my target goals months ago, but I thought it important to talk about these negative elements that have been in my life for so long.

I’m happy to be free from them and living the healthy happy life I’m supposed to be living and should have been living for my entire adult life.

It took a long time working through my anxiety, depression, and self-medicating to survive. But don’t get me wrong, I had a great time doing all of that bad stuff for years. I wouldn’t trade any of it, because it’s all been a part of my journey.

But I’m happy to say, I finally added the final piece to my health puzzle and it is now complete!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Sun Stories – Mike – Really Dude?

We hired a girl named Caitlin to take Jill’s shifts. She’s a nice girl and does a good job, but she runs track and field at college and her schedule for practices is changing so we lost her after a few weeks.

Achilles meets this guy Mike. He came into the salon to tan one day. He’s a mountain of a man. Admits to Achilles that he uses steroids to get that huge.

Achilles is chatting with him about the fitness center we’re opening soon and Mike tells him he’s a certified personal trainer. So Achilles hires him to work at the salon, and when the gym opens he can work there.

Perfect. A muscle dude that said he’d be here to run the classes and could make some real income from the personal training. People pay big bucks for that stuff. This is a great opportunity for Mike.

I stop in one Saturday just to escape the heat. I chat a bit with Mike and he seems like a really nice guy. I even spoke to him about a business opportunity I was thinking about and he gave me good advice having had experience in a similar business. So all good.

Everything seems to be going well. We’ve recovered nicely after Trish’s cocaine arrest, Jill’s alcoholic meltdown, and Caitlin’s track re-scheduling.

But two weeks later, Achilles calls me. “I’m going to have to fire, Mike.”

“What happened?”

“He’s stealing money from me.”

“Stealing?”

“Yea. There’s almost no cash transactions on the nights he works and I’m just starting to see a pattern. I don’t think he knows the level at which we can track everything on the computer.”

“Aww dude. I’m sorry. We just can’t catch a break lately.”

“I know. Come in and we’ll have lunch today and figure out what to do.”

The next day when confronted with the crime, of course Mike denied any wrong doing to the point where Achilles almost believed him. But once Achilles dug deeper and examined all of the records in the system there was no doubt in his mind that Mike had been skimming cash from the register.

I hear that steroids are expensive.

Anyway, we fired his thieving ass and banned him from ever coming to the salon again.

Guess who’s working all the shifts everyday for a while?

That’s right! Me. At least Achilles and I know that the people who work here are trustworthy and dependable. Because it’s down to the two of us!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Sun Stories: Ben – Gym Guy

“Let me put it this way to you Achilles…Our worst prison nightmare is a decent payday for Ben.”

Ben came to us as a guy who tanned at our salon. He was always talking to Achilles about all his business deals and things. I never trusted this guy, but Achilles always gives people a couple of chances.

We were building the fitness part of our business out on Walnut street to compliment the tanning salon. I think Ben saw an opportunity to insert himself into this opportunity and came on strong.

I never got a good vibe from him but Achilles gave him a chance. At first we thought we’d bring him as a trainer because he was a fitness guy. We gave him a trial and he actually did pretty good with some of the people who came in.

But there was always something about him that gave me a bad vibe. He’s been married a couple of times. The kids live here in Philly and he lives in DC. I asked Achilles what the guy did for a living and he said he was a party planner. Apparently he worked as a personal trainer at a gym, but also worked as a driver for escorts for bachelor parties. He also told us he worked as a stripper in his past life. This guy is 48 now and dyes his hair blonde. We know he’s on steroids because he has bitch tits and is always sniffing. I’m thinking that’s coke.

I’ve lived in LA and been in the music industry. I can spot a druggie a mile away. This guy’s a loser. I don’t want him to poison what Achilles and I are working on with this gym. But I can see him trying to. He’s trying to spend more time here and work at the salon.

I tell Achilles that when I’m here Ben can under not circumstances touch anything in the salon. I run this place. This causes me stress of this weird invader, but Achilles knowing that I’m his golden goose puts the kibosh on Ben.

We’re mired in a lawsuit with the fitness center upstairs and can’t even open our little place. We’ll settle that nonsense eventually and figure it out. I’m sure we’ll just do personal strength training and it will all fall away.

But I can’t shake my suspicion about Ben. I google the shit out of this parasite. I see he has worked as a male stripper. I watch the videos. It’s gross. I’ve met his 11-year-old daughter. She’s a lovely child. I’m sure she has no idea what her dad has done.

I’m a dad, I get it. We have kids, and we’ve all done things we’re not proud of. There are things I’ve done my daughter can never know. That’s just being and adult and being responsible. They never need to know certain things. We’ve all done things we’re not especially proud of, and we let them die in silence.

But everything is online now and kids could find things. I’m just glad that all of my evil never made it to the internet. Lorelei never needs to see that, and even if she did she wouldn’t be interested and wouldn’t even look because it would be gross. But thankfully there is nothing out there on me.

I never liked Ben and always got a weird vibe from him. I didn’t want Achilles to get sucked in by another asshole because I love the salon and like every company I worked for always protect the integrity of that company. It’s what professionals do. Achilles has never had an employee like me but I bring great power and a flurry of 5 star Yelp reviews.

When I was at the salon at night I kept googling him. I needed to dig. I found some things. He was arrested 10 years ago for not paying his child support. No problem. I feel you dude. That shit is expensive and ruins your life.You missed some payments and your ex is a fucking relentless monster. I get it. I was married to that kind of fucking asshole. A relentless harpy that just wants what’s coming to her. A lonely empty cunt that will never be happy. So that’s a pass from me brother.

But I keep digging because you are trying to infiltrate what I’m doing with my partner Achilles.

Achilles tells me you want to invest in the business and cut me out. Achilles immediately tells me about this conversation and it’s not happening buddy.

I continue digging.

I keep googling you and then I come across a name that isn’t you in my search. I plugged in your name, Ben, but there is a new name that comes up.

I click on the link and learn a whole new thing about you sneaky male stripper, Ben.

I find a different name and you’re a porn actor. Payday. Not only are you are a porn actor you only do gay porn. All you ever talk about is banging girls to Achilles and me.

I watched your video’s Ben. I’m able look into the darkness and see the light. I found what I was looking for about you. I don’t care if you’re gay or straight but I watched videos of you doing everything sexual with men. Only Men. No girls. That changes one’s perception. Does gay for pay pay more than straight porn?

I called Achilles and this was our conversation:

“Dude, I’ve been googling Ben and found something.”

“What?”

“Please do not look upon this because I care about you and you’re a good man and I consider you a friend,and I don’t want to hurt you”

“What is it?”

“Ben does hard-core gay porn all the time.”

“What the fuck?”

I’m not going to mention any names but just know this dude does gay porn and only gay porn. No chicks!”

“Fuck!”

“I really looked to see if there were any girls and there are none.”

“Shit”

“Let me put it this way to you Achilles. Our worst prison nightmare is a decent payday for Ben.”

Achilles lost his shit and laughed his ass off.

We don’t really work with Ben anymore.

As a side note, I lent Ben $20 and we haven’t seen him since. So that’s a blessing. It only cost me $20 to rid our salon of him.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am 12pm EST.

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Sun Stories: Anna Laura Sommer – Secret Identity

That is her real name and these are her real photos. Anna gave me permission to publish them. The first time Anna came into the salon she looked like the photo above. But she was wearing even more loose-fitting clothing. If she had told me she was just getting to get a base coat for this weekend’s folk festival I would have believed her. Because she just looked like a plain Jane hippie girl.

Then we got to talking. “What are you looking to do today?”

“Just a spray tan.”

“Wedding? Event?”

“Fitness contest.”

“Really?”

“Yea.”

“Forgive me but I would never have pegged you for a fitness competitor. We’ve had a few of them in here before, and they’re all buffed and look like they just came from the gym. How’d you get into that?

“Well I saw my sister-in-law compete in one and thought at the time, whoa that’s way out of my comfort zone.”

The photo on the left is the ‘Before” pic and obviously the one on the right is the ‘After.’

 

 

She had a passion for health, wellness, and service since she can remember. She attributes this to her family. She grew up on a farm in a small town in Arkansas. Growing up on a farm gave her brothers and her a rather unique perspective on life: one that enabled them to dream wildly and fearlessly. Her mother, who was and continues to be an incredible inspiration in living a healthy, balanced life despite whatever curveballs life may throw at her further fostered this creative spirit within each of us. Her brothers, as well as her husband and sister-in-law, went on to selflessly serve our country as officers in the United States Army.​

Needless to say, everyone in her life has demonstrated in various ways what it means to be a Servant Leader, and truly live a passionate life by using your own gifts to help others succeed.​

When her brother, Tyler, lost his life during his deployment to Afghanistan in 2009, Anna fell into a depression that she struggled to recover from for at least 7 years. She lost sight of the dreams she had as a child, and began to merely exist, rather than live.

When she began a rather stressful graduate program, she began to go to the gym as a way to cope with the stress. She started to learn how to eat to fuel her body. She even began to read personal development books for fun! She knew she wanted others to experience what she was experiencing. Upon completing graduate school, she discovered a deep passion for coaching others in their personal health and fitness journeys, and obtained my personal training certification in 2016.

Her mission is to equip others with the tools they need to feel good in their skin.

She saw her sister-in-law in a fitness completion and thought that was way outside of her comfort zone. So she decided to take a chance  and enter one herself.

She entered her first ever fitness competition and won FIRST Place!

 

An object in motion stays in motion, but it has to be properly fueled to do so. We as humans are no different. Fuel is what keeps us going and keeps us continually burning with more intensity.​

She’s heard many people (both women and men!) tell her how intimidating, uneasy, or incompetent they feel when they walk into a gym, surrounded by “meatheads”, “hotshots”, or people who look like they know what they’re doing. These men and women say they ultimately wind up wasting their time, because they don’t have a plan, or they become too nervous to work out in front of people, so they just…don’t.​

Anna has certainly been there, and she doesn’t want anyone to feel that way. She wans to help you uncover the confidence and gain the knowledge you need to become “fueled”- mind, body, and soul. It’s when we step into our own power that we begin living life at 100%.​

Anna doesn’t want to become a crutch for you. She wants to coach you by providing you with the “not-so-secret secrets” to living a healthier, more joyful lifestyle.​

When you align with FUEL, you become a part of a tribe of like-minded, empowered women who support one another in achieving their goals. If we were created to go at life alone, there wouldn’t be so many of us, right?

Professional Credentials & Background

•​​Certified Personal Trainer, American Council of Exercise

•Certified Lifestyle Coach, Savage Lifestyle Coaching Academy

•Fitness-Nutrition Specialist, American Council of Exercise

•2017 Ms. Bikini New England

•Fitness America Bikini Pro

•Team Isagenix Athlete

•Licensed & Certified Speech-Language Pathologist, ASHA

 

An amazing Sun Story about a great lady!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am EST.

Instagram: @phicklephilly                            Facebook: phicklephilly

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