ANGEL WITH A BROKEN WING: Inspiration and Behind the Scenes – Part 2

I decided to go back in my memory and try to remember all of the inspiring moments in my own life that helped bring this book to life. I published Part 1 last Monday, so you can check it out to gather more insight into the book. Anyway, here’s some more stuff…

Maria LaParilla: Maria as far as I can remember isn’t based on any one person. But if I’d have to say she’s like anyone I know, it would have to be my friend Maria. She has several posts written about her on Phicklephilly, and is actually the inspiration for me wanting to write this blog. But sadly, Maria LaParilla is a totally fictitious person, and all of the fun stuff that happens between Maria and Christian are completely made up.

Jeeves: He’s the English Chauffeur that drives the limo to enhance Christian’s date with Maria. His name is a poke at the internet search engine, Ask Jeeves that was on AOL in the 90’s. He’s completely made up. But I really like him. The classic, cool English driver. Maybe I’ll bring him back in the sequel, Angel Rising... (Did I just say that out loud?)

Answering Machines: Before the advent of cellular phones, everybody had an answering machine at their house. Unlike today, when everybody has access to everybody else instantly 24/7, that never existed back in the 90’s. If somebody called your home number, you had to wait until you got home that night to listen to the message they left you on a little cassette tape in a machine. It was a slower time back then, but kind of a pain. The only way anybody could reach you immediately, would have to be on your work phone, if they even had that number.

The Finance Company: Andy, Christian’s boss is based on a real guy who was my boss when I worked at a finance company in the early 90’s. He was exactly like the Andy in the book. Christian’s co-worker Paul was also a real guy I worked with in the Turnersville, NJ office. (And all of that horrible stuff really happened to the poor guy) The last I heard he was sober, and making music in Ohio. I hope he’s doing well. The story about the Banker Broker license really happened. The way it happened in the book is how it really happened to me. I did exactly what Christian did, so I loved writing that bit. Unlike Christian, I didn’t just quit with no other job lined up. I had already secured a better job as a branch manager at First Union Bank in Philadelphia for $10k more a year!

Brenda the Waitress: Brenda was a real girl who worked at Charlie Brown’s. She was my favorite waitress when I would go there with my friend. The real Brenda was exactly like the one in the book. Cute, sweet, and excellent hospitality. We loved her!

The Carousel and Sarah Turner: The Carousel is based on The Carnival Book store in Bellmawr, New Jersey. I remember I dated a girl who worked there back in the early 2000’s. I was on a rebound from a toxic relationship, and rebound girl was 20 years my junior. She was also toxic but I kept her at a distance. I remember she used to tell me all of these wild stories about working in that hell hole. Little did I know that it would be great fodder for this book years later. Is Sarah Turner based on her? Not at all. Sarah is just a character that was created for the story.

Here’s some pics I found online:

I love the scene when Christian first encounters Karl Itzky in that parking lot on that fateful rainy night!

LA stories about Celebrities: The tales Christian shares at Honest Files about his encounters with famous people in Los Angeles in the early 80’s are all mine. It’s all true, because it happened to me when I lived and worked in Santa Monica from 1982-1984.

Christian’s Family: The family Christian describes when he’s telling Jill about his life, is my life. I have 3 sisters and I just changed the names and let him describe them to her. But that’s all me.

Jill Adams: Jill is based on another girl I met at Gloucester County College back in the 90’s. We were both taking a psychology course. She was an attractive 22 year old who was engaged to be married. I developed a crush on her, and we ended up at Charlie Brown’s one night. After several drinks we closed the evening by making out in her car. (That’s were the mint game came from.) That’s all that happened that night, and I didn’t see her again. I sort of carried the torch for her for five years after that.

I was working as a manager at Commerce Bank back then and we reconnected when she called the branch. After 5 years of marriage, she was getting divorced from her husband. But, she had two young sons. I was already divorced by 2001, and we started dating. I ended up moving her and her kids into my house in Woodbury. What I didn’t know is that the real Jill had severe bi-polar disorder. If you know anything about that mental disorder, it’s only good in one room of the house, and it’s not the kitchen. Being with Jill was probably some of the best sex I’ve ever had, and I have the video to prove it.

I showered her with gifts, clothes and jewelry. I even sold my Woodbury house because she didn’t want to live in the house my ex-wife and I had bought together. Jill was crazy as a shit house rat. I paid her credit cards, bought her a GMC Yukon Denali, and had a house built in a brand new development in West Deptford, NJ. Jill was unable to hold a job and actually attempted suicide one afternoon while her sons were down for their nap.

After 3 months in the new house she started cheating on me with some scumbag she met at the local gym. Jill couldn’t hold down a job because of her mental illness, so she had a lot of free time on her hands. Idle hands…

I told her if she didn’t want to be with me she was free to go. She moved out and lived somewhere for a short period of time before moving back in with her father and his second wife. She ended up giving custody of her sons over to her ex-husband, and ran around with the scumbag guy for awhile I’m assuming.  Last I heard she had married another guy, who had two kids of his own, and I think she may have had a daughter with him. The real Jill turned out to be a terrible, selfish, wicked person. Mental illness, especially bi-polar disorder is an insidious monster.

I should write about the whole sad saga of my brief life with the real Jill, but this blog has been about my life here in Philly, not Dirty Jersey.  I may tell the story at some point but it’s a dark, shameful part of my past and I kind of want it to stay there.

I’ve been kicking around the idea of a sequel to Angel with a Broken Wing. I was thinking about calling it, Angel Rising, and having Jill in the story mirror the real Jill. Of course my man Christian would have to divorce her, or maybe I just have her killed off.

I ran the idea by my daughter. She said, kill the bitch.

Thoughts, dear readers?

 

More to come next Monday!

 

You can buy Angel with a Broken Wing right here:

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_2

 

 

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy my new book, Angel with a Broken Wing on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

This July 4th, Americans will spend more on beer, wine than fireworks

Americans will spend $1.6 billion on Fourth of July beer and wine, surpassing the amount they are expected to spend on fireworks, according to a new report from WalletHub.

And AAA found that a record 48.9 million Americans plan to travel over the holiday, a 4.1 percent increase from last year.

“This holiday builds on the strong travel demand seen for Memorial Day, and with schools now out of session across the country, families coast to coast are eager to travel,” Paula Twidale, vice president of AAA Travel, said in a news release.
For those living in Philadelphia or spending their holiday in the city, Visit Philadelphia compiled an Independence Day guide describing the annual Wawa Welcome America festival, which includes the Party on the Parkway, free or pay-as-you-wish entrance to 22 museums and attractions, and a birthday party at the Independence Visitor Center with Betsy Ross.
AAA warned travelers of delays near major cities, and the mix of commuters and holiday travelers on Wednesday was expected to make it the worst day for traffic. Delays nationwide are expected to increase about 9 percent, but around major cities, commutes could take up to four times as long.
“With record-level travelers hitting the road this holiday, drivers must be prepared for delays around our major metros,” said Trevor Reed, transportation analyst at INRIX Inc., a Washington-based transportation analytics company.
The Fourth of July celebrations include an expected $1 billion being spent on fireworks, $6.8 billion on food, and $5.4 million worth of imported American flags, according to the WalletHub report. And 150 million hot dogs are eaten each year.
Although more Americans (61 percent) plan to have a cookout than celebrate with fireworks (40 percent), Philadelphia city leaders still encourage residents to leave the fireworks to those trained to set them off.
Last year, five people died from fireworks-related injuries nationwide, according to a report from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission.
“While it can be tempting to get in on the action on July Fourth and other holidays, we always encourage Philadelphians to leave fireworks to the experts,” Mayor Jim Kenney said in a statement.
Most Americans do celebrate the nation’s Independence Day, but the National Retail Federation found in a separate report that total spending on food items is down about 5.5 percent from a high of $7.15 billion in 2017.
Still, Americans seem to be getting into the patriotic spirit. Two-thirds of Northeast Americans own an American flag and say they have themed-apparel, according to the report from the National Retail Federation and Prosper Insights & Analytics.
Americans seem to be spending more on Independence Day in the Northeast, too. The retailers group found that this region will spend an average of $78.40 on food, anywhere from about $7 to $12 more per person than the Midwest, West, and South.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

My new book, Angel with a Broken Wing is now for sale on Amazon!

 

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

Avoid This Guy! 14 Warning Signs That He’s Not What You Want

A guy who’s not relationship material always lets you know; you just have to know what to look for.

When I look back at all the relationships that didn’t work out (that I so wanted to at the time), I realize that in every case, there were early warning signs that each guy gave me that could have given me some idea of the heartbreak I was about to experience if I had only been aware of what to look for.

To spare you from being played for a fool by a man, here’s the inside scoop on what you can be on the lookout for so you can break up with him before he breaks your heart..

Here’s the ultimate list of warning signs that clearly tell you that he’s a guy to avoid if you’re looking for a real relationship.

1.  He doesn’t call you when he says he’s going to.

Granted, I know that sometimes life can get it the way, and if he’s working late on that big project with the looming deadline it’s possible that time might get away from him once in a while. But if this happens more than once or twice, it’s a sure sign that you’re just not a priority for him right now.

If a guy is really interested in starting (or continuing) a real relationship with you, you will be on his mind, and he won’t forget to call.

2.  He’s often late and doesn’t call to let you know.

I know there are lots of reasons people can run late that are beyond their control (traffic jam, car problems, being stuck at the office), but a quick call from his cell phone will put your mind at ease, and let you know that you have a few more minutes to try on that one other outfit you were still considering.

The point here is about being respectful of your time – we can forgive lateness, even chronic lateness (some people just aren’t good at judging how much time something will take), but not calling to let you know he’ll be a little late?

That’s inexcusable and a sure sign that he’s not too concerned about you.

3.  He doesn’t show up at all (and doesn’t call) when you have plans to see him.

OK ladies, unless he was (verifiably) unconscious in a hospital somewhere, getting stood up is a “one strike and you’re out” offense. There is absolutely no good reason for this (except the one above), and if you stay with him after a maneuver like that, you’ll be in for a very bumpy emotional ride that’s almost guaranteed to end badly.

Cell phone reception is excellent these days (unless he’s a lumberjack working in the great North Woods), so this one is unforgivable.

4.  He has rules about how often he can see you.
It’s one thing to have the boys’ “Wednesday Poker Night”, or something along those lines.

But if he’s only willing to get together say, every other weekend (with the exception being a child custody situation), then that’s a sure sign he’s keeping his options open and still scouring the market for something better (at least in his mind – he just doesn’t realize that you’re the best thing going!).

5.  He knows way more about you than you know about him.

If you find yourself doing all the talking during your conversations, and when you ask him something about himself he doesn’t say much, it may be because he’s hiding something or doesn’t want to get too close to you.

Many guys just aren’t big talkers, but if he hasn’t told you the details of where he works, where he grew up, went to school, etc., and if he gives you vague answers when you ask him about these specifics, then that means he’s keeping you at a distance.

6.  You know way more about him than he knows about you.

This one is the flip side to the last warning sign – if he’s so busy talking all about himself, and shows no interest in who you are, what you like to do, or what your idea of the future looks like, this should be a real red flag.

The good news about this one is that there’s no danger of taking it personally – it’s all about him. It has nothing to do with you – this kind of guy isn’t interested in anyone – but himself. Steer clear (way clear).

7.  He doesn’t tell anyone about you. 

If he doesn’t introduce you to his friends, or ask you to hang out with them once in a while, go to a party or get together with them – that’s a sure sign that he’s not sure about the whole thing. Of course you may not want to hang out with his friends much, particularly if they’re a group of partying bachelors, but they should at least know about you, and it should be your decision.

How they treat you when you’re around can also be a big tell-tale sign of how things are going or will go – if they kind of treat you like “yeah, you’re the girlfriend of the month, I’ll talk to you if you can make it past week 4”, then that’s a sign of what’s likely to be coming next.

8.  He doesn’t invite you to meet his family – ever.
Of course inviting you to meet the family is a big deal, as it should be, and it doesn’t happen until he feels like this thing is going somewhere. So that’s just it – if time is starting to drag on, and he still hasn’t invited you to meet his family, the likelihood is that he’s having doubts about the relationship. There is the outside chance that he’s embarrassed by his family. I have a good friend whose husband’s family (which consists of his elderly mother and Aunt, who raised him together and still both live together) are essentially, well, mildly deranged.

They look like the stereotypical “bag ladies”, and even showed up for my friends nuptials wearing multiple layers of ragged clothing and carrying some of their belongings in what were essentially re-useable shopping bags. But he had told her about them fairly early on in their relationship, and she did finally meet them. And let me say, as far as mildly deranged people go, they’re very sweet (I met them at the wedding), and they did a great job at raising their son/nephew.

So, the bottom line is that if the relationship has been going on for some time – just to put a number on it, let’s say over 6 months – and he hasn’t invited you to meet his family yet, it’s certainly time to question him about it. If he still doesn’t introduce you? Time to start planning your exit strategy.

9.  He doesn’t spend the holidays with you.

I know there are situations, such as when a divorced man wants to spend time with his children at the family holiday get together, but even then he can make time for you either before or after his family time. Everyone knows how special holidays are to us women, and if he doesn’t, then that’s a sign of other issues (for example, not being considerate and thoughtful regarding your feelings).

If he’s just taking off on a surf vacation to Bali with his buddies over the holidays because that’s when it’s less crowded, and you’re not invited, then you’re clearly a low priority to him.

10.  He’s got lots of female friends – and makes sure you know this.
In my experience, “platonic” friendships are rarely, if ever, that – there are almost always some feelings in one direction.

Either the guy is secretly harboring feelings for the girl, or vice versa. And when a guy is in a relationship, he has so much less time to spend with his buddies – why on earth would he ever choose to spend that precious time with another woman? Well, there are a number of reasons he might, and they all involve one deep seated issue or another, and none of them are good.

And making sure you know about it? That’s just playing games, and just another reason to get out and find yourself an emotionally healthy man to be in a relationship with.

11.  He doesn’t tell you what he’s doing, where he’s going, or when he’ll be back.

If your guy likes to keep you guessing, there’s a reason. This is another sure sign that he’s keeping his options open. In a healthy relationship there’s no hiding or secrets. If he’s not being open and upfront about his whereabouts, then stop worrying about it – just move on.

12.  He doesn’t talk about his plans for the future with you.
I’m all for living in the moment and enjoying the “now”. But eventually in a relationship a discussion of future plans has got to come up – otherwise you’ll never know if the two of you are sailing together or heading towards different continents.

If he’s not at least occasionally talking about the future with you then chances are, in his mind, you’re not in it.

13.  He lets you know he had a life without you and he still has a life without you.

I mean, sure, when you’re first dating, it’s interesting to hear about the places your guy has been and all of the fun times he’s had with his friends.

But if he’s still reminiscing about his single life escapades after your relationship has moved to the next level, or worse, making plans to have more of those escapades (without you), then the truth is he still wants to be single. Let him.

14.  You feel like if you could just change yourself and not be so needy, this would all work out.
This is by far the biggest warning sign of all. If you start to feel that there’s something wrong with you, or you’re doing something wrong that’s causing him to pull away, and maybe if you just gave him more of the freedom he wants, and wait for him quietly, and…well, you get it.

Don’t fall into this trap. If you want a real relationship, equipped with real feelings, real caring, real consideration, and real romance, and he doesn’t, then he’s not the right guy for you and let him (and yourself) go.

If you see any of these warning signs, and especially if you see several of them, chances are that this is not a guy that’s looking for a real relationship right now – or at least not the kind you’re looking for.

Your best bet is to walk away gracefully, with your self-esteem intact, and not look back (even if he then starts calling you and chasing you – that’s just a sign of a game-player with deeper issues). Rather than trying to get him to change or waiting for him to come around, try focusing on you and why you’re in a relationship with someone like this.

If you find yourself in this type of relationship often, which many of us do, it’s time for some real soul searching to get to the root of it.

If you have access to good counseling, take advantage of it, as many times this is the only way to true healing. And it will be worth it in the long run, to get you past the cycle of toxic relationships so you can move on to the kind of true, sustainable love that you want to attract into your life.

Sometimes it’s hard to see when we’re in it, but know that if you’re settling for less than you deserve, there truly is someone out there ready and waiting to give you what you’re looking for – and to treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

It’s in believing in ourselves, trusting our gut instincts and discovering who we really are and what we’re really looking for, that all the other pieces of the puzzle fall into place and we find ourselves finally getting it right and discovering the love of our lives – the one who doesn’t come with any red flags.

And you deserve nothing less than that, no matter where you’ve been or what you’ve been through.

It’s all out there waiting for you!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy my new book, Angel with a Broken Wing is now for sale on Amazon!

 

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

All you need to know before getting into a ‘Friend with Benefits’ Relationship – Pros & Cons

Being in a ‘friend with benefits’ relationship simply means two good friends who have casual sex without being committed or emotionally attached to each other. So many people are beginning to consider being in an FWB relationship since being in a relationship nowadays is becoming more complicated.

Now since you are currently reading this article, it means you’re probably thinking of being a friend with benefits with someone, well, this article is going to explain everything you need to know about an FWB relationship, the pros, the cons, and more.

Pros

It is less stressful:

Whenever you get that horny feeling, it feels good to have someone you like, whom you can call at any time to come fulfill your sexual needs without having to worry about feelings, and you guys can easily move on to other things without stress.

Explore your sexual fantasies:

Being in a friend with benefits relationship is a safe place to experiment and fulfil your sexual fantasies without being judged or getting all awkward. Your FWB partner might not like your wildest fantasies but you both can easily move on with no problems what so ever.

You are allowed to be ‘selfish’:

Since there are no commitments or emotions involved, you are free from being pressured to impress this person. You don’t owe your FWB partner anything and nothing is expected from you. You are free from thinking of what gifts to give, or what delicacy to make in other to keep your partner or how much time and attention you have to give, you’re free to put yourself first.

No Drama:

You can easily flirt with other people without having to worry about a jealous boyfriend/girlfriend going through your phone and summoning the god of thunder to strike you because you’re liking someone else. You are free from annoying arguments and you are not responsible for any heartbreak too, how sweet is that? No guilt, just freedom.

You get your needed space:

There are times when you just feel like being on your own it might be to clear your head or maybe you just need that alone time with yourself, if you are in a relationship, your lover might not understand and might think you are pushing them away, but in an FWB relationship, you don’t even have to ask because you guys only get to see when both of you agree on seeing.

Cons

Feelings might get involved:

You might start liking your FWB partner and most times all the person wants is sex and not a relationship (which was the agreement from the beginning, but well, we’re human), this might hurt you and you might end up making yourself look stupid when you keep trying to make your partner like you back.

It might be hard to move on:

Having sex with someone you like especially when you two both share similar interests or you both know how to satisfy each other sexually, might prevent you from meeting someone else.

Issue of Jealousy:

Since you have no right to stop your FWB from seeing other people since you two aren’t committed to each other, they are allowed to go into a relationship with someone else. This might not sit well with you after all the moments you two shared, you might want the person all to yourself.

It might ruin your friendship:

Once you start having sex with your friend, it might be hard for you two to go back to your original friendship, especially when the FWB relationship ends in a messy way

You might be taken for granted:

Being in a friend with benefits relationship encourages selfishness, disrespect and a lack of responsibility. Your FWB might be a complete jerk and might disregard you at all times, even in public.

Heartbreak:

You might get your heart broken when you start having feelings for your FWB and it is not reciprocal, you would realize you are not built for an FWB relationship but it would be too late then.

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy my new book, Angel with a Broken Wing is now for sale on Amazon!

 

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

ANGEL WITH A BROKEN WING: Inspiration and Behind the Scenes – Part 1

The truth behind the story!

This is a 4 part mini series I wrote over the weekend as a companion to my recently published book. It will run over the next 4 weeks, every Monday morning at 8am!

Thank you!

Angel with a Broken Wing is my first work of fiction. It’s got all of my favorite elements in it. But where do these ideas come from? Well, I’m going to tell you.

I’m going to think back and try to remember some of the inspiration for this story.

I am obviously Christian Blackmore. Not anymore, but I was back in the 90’s. I was miserable in my marriage and my job, and I wished  I could just run away from the life I had created.

The Cover: I was an art major all through school. When I think about that now, it feels like a million miles away. I liked comic books growing up, and my first exposure to art was in comics. I always made art throughout my childhood, so art class was a natural progression for me in school. It was the only class that was effortless.

I loved to work in pen and ink. I liked its stark simplicity. I have several works from high school that I still retain in my collection. This one, The Angel is my favorite.

It was an incredibly cold day in February of 1980. I was in my double period, art major class. There were only two of us in the class that were any good. Me and Bill Polini.

I looked out the window as the snow came flying. I took pen in hand, and imagined a beautiful girl. In a warm place. She’s with me. We’re maybe riding horses…or camels. She turns to look at me, and the reflection of the oasis behind me reflects in her sunglasses. I long to kiss her.

“Yea. I should try to draw that.”

Uncle John: I had an uncle John on my mother’s side of the family. I share many of the same characteristics of my mom’s side of the family more than my dad. My mother had four brothers; Roland, Robert, Norman, and John. All of her brothers kept their hair and all died in their late 70’s and 80’s so maybe if my liver holds up, I’ll meet the same fate. John never left me any inheritance, but my uncle Rob left all of us kids some loot and it was substantial. He lived in Florida.

The Pinto: My grandmother, (My dad’s mom) We called her Grammy. I loved her. When everybody thought I was a piece of garbage in my early teens, she was the only one that had faith in me. So She will always have a special place in my heart. She was a cool lady, who liked a cold glass of beer and some good neighborhood gossip. Just an adorable lady. When she died, the last car she owned was a gold Ford Pinto. That car is my last memory of her. So I used it in the story. The car’s fate is based on stories I heard back in the 70’s about an engineering flaw in the vehicle.

Woodbury, New Jersey: I lived in Woodbury from 1992 to 2001. My wife and I owned a house on Barber Street. I modeled Christian Blackmore’s residence after my own house there. So when I wrote about him in his house in Woodbury, I could picture my own life there.

The Phoenix: I remember first hearing about the story of the Phoenix on an old record album. It was a collection of stories about superheroes. It was like an old radio show type collection of plays on one LP. I remember hearing about the Phoenix in one of those stories, probably back as far as 1973. When one of the characters describes the Phoenix, it is a verbatim rendition of what I heard on that record, nearly 50 years ago. I always felt like I could relate to the Phoenix in my own life. I always felt that no matter how many times I got destroyed in my life, I always came back better than what I was before. I think that’s why I have the characters make a stop over in Phoenix, Arizona on their journey to LA. There are some transforming moments for a few of them in that chapter.

Gloucester County College: When I was married back in the 90’s my then wife came from a very collegiate family. I never went to college, but had several college credits from the American Institute of Banking through courses I had taken through the bank I worked for. My wife thought I should go back to college at night and take courses to get my college degree. So I did. I took those classes at night after work, at Gloucester County Community College. I don’t feel that it was a waste of time, because it led to some interesting things. I’ll be getting to them shortly.

The Gun: Everything you read in Angel about the Bulldog .44 revolver is true. I never owned a gun, and like Christian Blackmore, I hate guns. But all of the info about that weapon is from real events. The story Christian tells Sheryl about the girl at the shore is all true. That happened to me in the summer of 1977. Funny thing is, I recently reconnected with that girl from New York on Facebook. (At 57, she’s still hot!) Oh, one last thing, I had to make a slight change in the action sequence involving that gun. During the final edits of the book I discovered that the bulldog .44 only holds 5, not 6 bullets like most revolvers! I guess because those bullets are so big!

Sheryl Stanton: Sheryl was inspired by a girl I met in one of the banking courses I took at Gloucester County College. I pretty much describe Sheryl as how this girl was in real life. We had a good friendship for a brief period and even had some romantic dalliances. She did break it off with me when she moved to California for a period of time. The real Sheryl never worked in a mental health facility. That’s completely made up for the story.

Karl Itzky: The first kid I met when I went to Frankford High School in 1978, was a guy named Karl Itzky. He was the only person I knew other than my older sister. I just liked his name. He is nothing like the Karl Itzky in the book. He was a nice guy, who I sadly lost touch with when I moved up the social ladder in high school.

Honest Files: The name of the bar/restaurant where Christian and Sheryl hang out is taken from a song by the band, Urge Overkill. There are many references in the book about music I was listening to back in the 90’s where this story takes place. It’s from their album, Exit the Dragon. Here are some of the lyrics from the song:

Hey, hey I’m dead on arrival
Hey, hey I’m distant
Crawling right back
Yes, I’m crawling right back
‘Cause I’m honesty, don’t break my heart
Honesty won’t break it
Honesty won’t break you heart
Honest it won’t
It won’t, it won’t, it won’t, it won’t, it won’t…

I thought it was a cool song, and that bar is where I hung out with the real Sheryl back then. It’s where we would spill our guts to each other about everything in our lives. I used to say we were opening the ‘Honesty Files’ about what we were experiencing at that time.

The real place is exactly the way I describe it in the book. The animal trophies on the walls, all of the real bookcases all around the room, and the fireplace. We spent many a night there pounding martinis and smoking tons of cigarettes. (Yea, you could smoke in restaurants and bars back then!) It was a welcome repose from our chaotic lives.

Exterior - Picture of Charlie Brown's Steakhouse, Woodbury ...

Here’s the real Honesty Files… It’s a place called Charlie Brown’s at 111 Broad Street, in Woodbury, NJ

 

More next week!

 

You can buy Angel with a Broken Wing on kindle and paperback right here:

 

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_2

 

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy my new book, Angel with a Broken Wing on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

How to Avoid the Friend Zone and Make Her Desire You

Afraid you’ll end up being just a friend with the girl you like? Use these tips on how to avoid the friend zone if you want to get into her pants.

The friend zone is a tricky place to fall in.

You may be trying hard to get close to a girl, close enough to tell her that you like her, but one fine day she turns around and tells you that you’re such a great friend, or worse, you’re just like a brother to her.

Ever been there?

I hope you haven’t.

Guys find themselves falling into the friend zone almost all the time.

It’s frustrating and demeaning, and at times, inevitable.

You may get really close to a girl with all the hopes of getting into her pants, but somewhere along the way, you may have taken a few detours that led you right into the friend zone.

What is a friend zone?

A friend zone is a happy place for a girl. It’s a place where she and a guy can sit together and talk about anything and get real friendly with each other.

For a guy, a friend zone is the worst place to be in, especially when he likes the girl who behaves like a friend.

In a friend zone, the two involved friends of the opposite sex are just friends and nothing more. They project no sexual interest towards each other and behave in a completely platonic manner.

But can any guy ever be friends with a girl he finds sexually attractive? Or course not. He can try to be a friend with the hope of getting an occasional cuddle or a warm boob pressing hug now and then, but he’s always going to be just be a friend while she dates every other guy in the yearbook.

How do guys end up falling into the friend zone?

A guy falls into a friend zone for very obvious reasons. He behaves like a friend. And he never lets the girl know that he has more than friendly intentions on his mind.

And soon enough, the girl loses all realization of the fact that this guy has a package down there. And he just becomes another sexless thing she hangs out with all the time as a platonic friend.

So why do some guys end up as friends instead of boyfriends or sex buddies? Here’s why.

#1 They get too close. Getting too close to a girl on platonic grounds will never help you. You may assume that it’s the easiest way to get a girl to know you better. She’ll definitely get to know you better, but only as a friend.

#2 No sexual chemistry. If a guy likes a girl, he has to make it subtly obvious that he’s sexually interested in her. If a guy behaves like a pushover and a doormat, no girl will feel even a tingle of sexual chemistry.

#3 The girl’s not attracted to the guy. This sucks, but this is the most common scenario. The guy’s probably creepy, annoying or just not good enough to be her boyfriend.

#4 The guy thinks she’s too good for him. At times, a guy may genuinely believe that the girl he likes is way too good for him. And instead of hitting on her, he secretly lusts for her, but gives up on pursuing her. Could you ever live with yourself by just being the friend of a sexy girl who dates every other guy but you?

#5 He plays the true friend card. It works in the movies all the time. The girl has a best friend who’s always there for her. She goes ahead and dates every single guy in the world, and finally, at the end of the movie she sees her true love in the form of her best friend. How touching! And that’s why they call it the movies. In real life, you can’t become a girl’s boyfriend just by behaving like a best friend.

How to avoid getting into the friend zone

It’s really easy to avoid the friend zone. All you need to do is drop a few hints now and then to let her know that you’re really into her. Use these easy tips to get the message across and get her to desire you while you’re at it.

#1 Be a friend without behaving like her other friends. Don’t talk nonsense for hours or spend time talking about her problems in life. Talk about places she visits, movies she’s watched, and her plans for the weekend. Talk date talk and she’ll sense the chemistry in the air.

#2 Try to talk to her when she’s alone. If her other friends are around, talk to her if you must or just avoid her. You can’t really hit on a girl when she’s surrounded by a bevy of friends.

But when you find her alone, make sure you turn on your charm and impress her. See her alone? Chat her up. And if one of her friends come by, grumble audibly in a funny manner and say something like “just when I thought I was going to get some alone time with you, this guy pops up out of nowhere!” and just laugh. She’ll be confused and wonder if you’re being serious or just joking.

But she’ll get the hint that you like spending time with her alone. Make it obvious that you like spending time with her in whatever way possible, but don’t ask her out or tell her you like her just yet.

#3 Compliment her when she deserves it. Flatter her pants off. If she looks good, tell her she looks hot. If you see a hint of cleavage and she catches you staring, just laugh, apologize and tell it you couldn’t resist it. Add a few funny sexual remarks and you’ll never get into the friend zone.

#4 Touch her and treat her like your girlfriend. But do it respectfully though. Clasp her hand while crossing the street and open doors for her when it’s just the both of you. Make her feel like a queen, and she’ll love the attention. But when her friends are around, don’t give her any preferential treatment. Let her realize that you’re special to her only when it’s just the two of you.

#5 Make her feel special and exclusive. Gift her something small and personal, but tell her to keep it a secret. When you create secrets, you build sexual chemistry and suspense which leads to romance.

#6 Ask her out and change the topic. When you’re talking to her for a while, ask her out for lunch or coffee. See how she responds. But within a second, change the topic. Don’t wait for her to answer. It’ll seem like a joke, but it’ll still make her wonder if you really do want to date her. Don’t make things awkward by waiting a while before saying something else. Keep it simple, keep it funny and yet reveal all the dirty thoughts in your mind, and change the topic immediately.

Wondering how to avoid the friend zone? Just understand these pointers and use these tips. You’ll never fall into the friend zone with any girl ever again.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

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7 Relationship Red Flags You Should Never Ignore

“I’ve met enough Red Flags I could paper my walls with them…”

Keep an eye out. 

Dating can feel like an endless game.

Whether you spot each other across a crowded bar or take a chance and swipe right, we all begin by flying blind into the unknown. At first, it’s a game of first impressions. You take an inventory of their outfit, make a note of their drink order and use every piece of information to paint a picture of who they are.

After a couple of dates, the walls start to crumble and we begin to really learn about our new crush. Dubbed the ‘honeymoon phase’, these early weeks of dating are all about testing the waters and seeing if you both are truly compatible. Exhausting, right!

Once you’ve landed yourself a new partner, the real work begins. It means getting creative with date night, actively listening to your other half and maintaining a thriving network of besties and friends to keep your social life balanced. But, what if things don’t feel quite right? If you’re unsure about your new relationship, read on to discover the seven relationship red flags you should never sweep under the rug.

1. Lack of communication

After a hard day at work, we all need to let off some steam. And sharing our concerns with our partner is a healthy way of processing stress and building connections. When it comes to communication, we all want to share our thoughts without reservation.

If your partner seems absent, dismissive or unresponsive, this is an important red flag to take notice of. Lack of communication can mean important conversations go unspoken. When we aren’t able to speak openly and honestly about how we feel, we can feel ignored and, ultimately, resentful of the other person. In fact, these small annoyances can grow and spell disaster for your relationships in the long term.

2. Dislike for your friends or family

This next red flag can be very subtle, but it’s an important one to be aware of. How does your partner speak about your loved ones? Do they resent coming along to family get togethers? Maybe they don’t take the time to get to know your besties? Or perhaps they avoid socializing with your friends and family all together?

If you feel a disconnect between your partner and your social network, it can be difficult to sustain a healthy romantic relationship. Why? Because sharing time with our friends, family and partner shouldn’t happen in isolation. In some cases, this can also be an early warning sign of controlling behaviour. If you notice your partner withdrawing from your network, start a conversation to understand their reservations and what you can both do to address them.

3. Innocently pushing physical boundaries

Respect is the foundation of every successful relationship. When we feel valued by our partners, we’re able to build stronger and more meaningful connections. However, when the opposite is true, this can spell disaster for our relationship.

How does your partner react when you tell them to stop tickling you? Do they invade your personal space or jokingly poke you like a sibling, even when you’ve told them no? Respect begins at acknowledging and honoring each other’s boundaries. If you notice your partner doesn’t listen to your requests, this could be an essential red flag to watch out for.

4. Describing their exes as ‘crazy’

We’ve all had terrible partners and relationships that were destined to fail. It could have been your first high school fling or that crush you had when you started uni. Whatever the case, we all encounter people that just aren’t the right fit for us.

However, if you notice your new partner speaking badly about their past relationships this is something to take notice of. When terms like ‘crazy’ start to be attributed to multiple previous partners, it could be time to consider whether your partner is representing their dating past accurately. In many cases, they could lack the self-awareness to realize they were, in fact, part of the problem.

5. Refusing to make your relationship public 

PDA (or public displays of affection) can be a divisive topic. For some, walking hand in hand comes as second nature. For others, they avoid displays of physical intimacy at all costs. Whatever camp your relationship falls into, it’s a wise idea to consider what is motivating this decision.

Do you notice your partner’s behaviour change when you’re around his mates? Does his social media presence appear as if you’re not together? Has he avoided ‘putting a label’ on your relationship? If your partner is keen to keep things a secret, this could be a warning sign that your relationship might not be as open and honest as it first seems.

6. Difference in values 

We all have our own unique priorities. The stuff that matters most to us. It could be things like honesty or compassion, or more specific values like savings habits and big-picture parenting goals. Although we might not always see eye to eye, sharing core values are key to long term relationship success.

Does your partner play off dishonesty as ‘little white lies’? Do they make decisions without factoring in your plans or point of view? What is their relationship like with their parents and siblings? If you are noticing clear patterns of conflicting values, this could be a good indication that you might struggle to remain compatible over time.

7. Incapable of apologizing 

Arrogant, entitled and patronizing behavior should never be ignored. However, when we’re falling hard for a new fling it can be difficult to see situations clearly. But, learning how to identify negative behaviors early in a relationship can prevent you from getting stuck in a toxic dynamic.

If your partner constantly refuses to apologize or admit they’ve messed up, it’s important not to ignore this. Although this might seem like an insignificant personality trait, it can indicate your partner may have an inflated sense of self-importance. Because let’s be honest, no one wants to date someone who can’t say sorry.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy my new book, Angel with a Broken Wing on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

ANGEL WITH A BROKEN WING is Now For Sale on Amazon! (kindle and paperback)

PUBLISHED!

 

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss

 

The day is finally here, and I couldn’t be happier! This has been a long time coming and a labor of love. I’ve been working day and night to get this baby written, and I think it’s my finest work yet! I hope you enjoy it!

Please buy my book!

 

I wanted to create something new. Not a non-fiction, compilation of stories from my blog. Something new. A story. A fable. A love story that included all of the elements of all the films I liked. A thriller, road movie, romance, mystery, an action yarn, that would be full of twists and turns.

The world had gone a bit mad, and I wanted to create a world I could control. I wanted it to take place in a time before there were smart phones or social media. A story about a boy and a girl trying to fall in love, during extraordinary circumstances. Let’s put a fancy car in there. Have them drive across the country on a road trip. Let’s throw a bad guy in there. That’ll keep them on edge. Let’s make it a mystery too. Let’s ‘David Lynch’ it up a bit with some interesting, unique characters. Let’s make them all flawed in some way. They all have the potential to be good, but they’re all struggling with themselves. They all want something, but they don’t know the right way to get it. A collection of misfits all trying to find themselves. All broken in some way. They want to fly, but their wings are broken, so they choose to run.

What if you could just run away from your current life?

Christian Blackmore works as a manager at a local finance company in New Jersey. He’s burned out from all the bad loans, and making collection calls every night. He spends his days laboring at a job he hates, and his evenings drinking at a local bar with his best friend. 

When his favorite uncle dies, and leaves him a unique inheritance, he begins to question the path he’s taken in life.

He decides to take a road trip across the country with a woman he just met. She’s a mysterious beauty, who may hold a dark secret. 

What begins as a romantic journey, becomes a nightmare, when he realizes he’s being followed by an elusive stranger. What does he want? Is it Christian, the girl, or something far more sinister?

Angel with a Broken Wing, takes you on a terrifying, coast to coast thrill ride across America. Can one man fall in love, and stay one step ahead in a cat and mouse game with a killer?

You can check it out here:

 

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss

 

I want to first thank my daughter. Thank you for coming into my life. You are my inspiration. I love you! I can always come to you with an idea and you make it perfect.

Scott Macintosh. You’re my best friend. You’ve been with me since the beginning. Thank you for staying on the ship, even when it was sinking. 

Will Ball. Thank you for your friendship, the films, the laughs, and of course, the cocktails. I’m honored to have you in my life as a friend. 

A.M. Homes. Thank you for answering my letter with a personal note so many years ago. I was so inspired by your words, it gave me the courage to write my story the way I wanted to tell it, without fear.

Thanks to the amazing team at Amazon Kindle. Without you, I’d be lost in a sea of technology. I can write the words, but you guys help me turn them into books.

Thanks to everyone at Amazon. I became a member over 20 years ago when you were just a giant bookstore. After crawling on my hands and knees to agents and publishing houses for years, Amazon finally gave me the biggest platform on Earth to bring my literary work to the world!

A special thanks to everyone at WordPress. Without you, I couldn’t publish Phicklephilly everyday for the last four years! Now we’re a dot com and I’ve monetized the site with ads! You gave me a home to bring my work to everyone! Thank you!

Thanks to all the folks over at GoDaddy. You made the transition from just another blogger, to a dotcom look easy. Thanks for always being there when I needed you. You’re the best!

Thank you, dear readers, and subscribers for all of your support over the years I’ve been writing this little blog. I appreciate you all, and try to respond to all of your comments. I love your comments!

Please buy my new book. I assure you, you won’t be disappointed. It’s quite a ride!

This is a great book to read at the beach this summer!

 

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy my new book, Angel with a Broken Wing on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

 

 

HAPPY FIRST DAY OF SUMMER, EVERYONE…EVERYWHERE!!!

 

Zoolon Forever!

ANGEL WITH A BROKEN WING is now On Sale at Amazon! (kindle & paperback)

PUBLISHED!!!!

The official announcement will come out at 6am today!

But in the meantime…

Sneak Peek!

 

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss

 

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

My new book, Angel with a Broken Wing is available now!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

18 Clear Signs You’re in a Girl’s Friend Zone!

Do you think you’ve been friend zoned by the girl you really like? Use these 18 signs you’re in the friend zone to know if it’s time to give up!

Every guy dreads hearing these two words one after another, possibly more than any other phrase while chasing after a girl.

While most guys will joke about being in the “Friend Zone” or try to pretend it could never happen to them, a majority of guys have experienced the Friend Zone at least once in their life.

And quite possibly, they are in denial about it at this very moment!

Or these guys simply weren’t aware of all the signs.

Some girls are upfront and nip the thought of a relationship with a guy instantly.

However, many other girls are much more subtle, and they try to be kind and let you down easy.

18 signs you’ve been friend zoned by the girl you like!

So how can you tell if you’re being thrown to the curb gracefully by a girl, even when she doesn’t use the words and tell you straight that she isn’t interested in dating you?

Let’s take a look at the 18 telltale signs that you are most definitely in the “Friend Zone”.

#1 You’re so unfunny! Even as friends, most girls will laugh at a guy’s jokes. This is just a completely normal social interaction. If your crush laughs hysterically at your jokes, do not immediately jump to the conclusion that they are crushing back on you.

But on the other hand, if your lady friend NEVER or hardly ever laughs at your jokes, now would be the time to start worrying that you might not even be on a friend’s level. Maybe more like acquaintances. 

#2 Asks you about other women. If your dream girl is constantly asking you about other women when you hang out, there are two basic trains of thoughts here. Either she is trying to find out what kind of women you like to date, to see if she falls into that profile, or to know if you’re available at the time. However, this is probably the optimistic version.

Realistically she is probably trying to hint towards you to try pursuing one of these women. *Red flag alert: Asking you about other women is one thing, encouraging you to go talk to one of them is not a good sign for you, buddy!* 

#3 Addresses you as a ‘friend’. Both of you may spend all day together everyday, yet the way she introduces you to her parents or her friends is a huge sign of her thoughts about you on a romantic level. Any introductions like “Matt is such a good friend” or “I absolutely LOVE John, he is my bestie”, and you should probably accept your fate in the Friend Zone.

#4 She avoids being seen with you. While out, she avoids being seen with you so people don’t get the wrong idea. Maybe you’re wondering to yourself why you see so much of her throughout the day, but never at night. She is always busy when you ask her to the mall, or to grab a bite to eat.

But the next day in class or at work, she is Miss Chatty Box with you again. At least you know, she’s yours only till it’s time to leave for the day.

#5 She talks about her hookups. Possibly the worst part of being in the Friend Zone, is having to hear all about the other men she is totally digging, while you are not one of them. Knowing these guys aren’t right for her (obviously you should be the one with her) doesn’t matter, because she can’t see past the nice car, that ripped body, or that gorgeous smile.

#6 Three’s not a crowd. If you invite her somewhere, she brings along a friend. If this happens once, maybe it is a coincidence, if it happens again then there is no doubt where you stand in terms of friendship versus exclusive relationship.

You invite her to a movie, or to a dinner, or basically invite her anywhere that is remotely private, and somehow it ends up turning into a group event without your knowledge. This is just another tactic women use to say “Sorry, I’m not interested” without ever uttering the words.

#7 She’s drunk, and still no signs! You finally got her to the bar, you have her alone in public *just the 2 of you* and after a few drinks she still wants nothing to do with you! No slip ups about how crazy it would be if both of you started dating. No inching closer as the drinks flow to get closer into your arms. Not looking good, man, not looking good at all!

#8 There is no physical contact between the two of you. A hug does not count here, what are we, 12?! If you hug each other every time you see one another, you cannot realistically believe she is interested. I’m just moving on to the next point, I hope you get the hint. 

#9 She’s so casual. You can tell that she isn’t making any attempt with her appearance when you see her. Both of you head out to grab a bite to eat, she walks up to your car in sweat pants and a pullover jacket with no makeup or earrings? Again, not looking too promising here, friend.

#10 You watch a whole movie! The worst thing that can happen when watching a movie with her is the ever-subtle movement of her placing her head on your shoulder. That move just SCREAMS Friend Zone! If you are more of the direct type, try placing your arm around her back, or making a gesture to reach for her hand. Any movement away from you should let you know where you stand. 

#11 Brother from another mother? As stated in an example above, being referred to as a “bestie” is a terrible situation for you to be in. But being referred to as “the brother she never had” is even worse, because who in their right mind would ever think about a “family member” in a dating scenario?

#12 Shopping time. Does she ask you to go shopping with her on a regular basis? Now let me clarify, if you’re being invited to do some lingerie shopping, this may be a great opportunity for you. But shoe shopping, handbag shopping, carrying her purchases through the mall while following her around like a puppy dog, that is where things start to look grim.

#13 Oh-so-cute nicknames. What is more emasculating than letting a woman you love call you “Mikeypoo” in public? That is a cruel, cruel way to have your heart delicately ripped out of your chest. 

#14 She needs your advice. She asks for tips on what guys are looking for in a woman. She isn’t asking that to woo you, I can promise you that. She clearly has her eyes on another guy, and is wondering how to make him notice her. But if you want to keep telling yourself she’s talking about you, go ahead, whatever helps you sleep at night!

#15 Sharing a bed. You have shared a bed with this person and yet, did not take part in any type of physical activity. You finally get her alone in your room and she is “too tired” or “so exhausted from the long day” and wants to head right to bed. If you are bold, try and initiate something once both of you get into bed, but you are mostly likely looking at a much more direct rejection taking place within the next few seconds!

#16 She tries to set you up with her friends. If she is constantly tell you how perfect you are for this friend or that friend, what she really is trying to say is you are not perfect for HER!

#17 You always end up doing favors for her. You remember the last time you covered for her during work? Traded shifts? Helped her study for her final exam at the expense of your own studying? Giving her rides from place to place without being invited to these places. Wake up, man, wake up! 

#18 You’re her shoulder. The worst way to realize you are most definitely in the Friend Zone is when you end up consoling her each time she has a breakup. Right after every breakup, who is the person she comes crying to? The person who she wants to sit on a couch with, share a gallon bucket of ice cream while crying the whole time wondering where things went wrong?

Just book yourself a one-way ticket to the Friend Zone already and no, there is no need (or way) to buy a return ticket.

Now obviously some of these signs and indicators are definitely worse than others, but if you can even check off a few items on this list, it is time to come back to reality.

She just is not interested in you in the way you wish she was, and the faster you come to this realization by using these 18 clear signs you’re in a girl’s friend zone, the sooner you can move on, or stay just friends without any secret agendas.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

My new book, Angel with a Broken Wing publishes of Amazon June 20th!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly