One Thousand Page Views In One Day!

Wow. Just wow. When I started this blog back in 2016, I got 963 page views for the whole year. Yesterday I surpassed 1,000 in one day! I’m absolutely amazed.

I’ve had some great traffic days in the last six months, but never reached this height before. 

I am so grateful to everyone who takes the time to read, subscribe, and like my blog!

This is an extra special Thanksgiving holiday because I have so much to be thankful for.

I’ll continue to bring you the most interesting content I can come up with for your reading pleasure. 2021 is right around the corner, and we’ll all grow together.

Thank you, one and all!

Charles

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

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Romantic Thanksgiving Date Ideas

A lot of people believe that Thanksgiving isn’t Thanksgiving unless you spend it stuffing yourself silly with food, surrounded by annoying uncles and aunts. But for couples without children or whose families are far away, Thanksgiving can be a wonderful opportunity to spend some romantic time together without distractions. So skip all of the stress this Thanksgiving and plan a special day for just the two of you with one of the ideas below.

Cook a meal together for two

While playing hostess to your in-laws and simultaneously cooking a Thanksgiving meal for 10 may seem like a recipe for a panic attack, cooking a turkey together with your best guy is filled with sexy opportunities. Envision sipping wine together as you stir the cranberry sauce and let your imagination run wild!

Have someone cook a meal for you

For those of you who think cooking is a chore rather than a delight, there’s nothing like enjoying a Thanksgiving dinner out on the town. Simply make a reservation, show-up and voila! While other women are spending the day slaving over a stove, you and your man can enjoy all of the pleasures of eating a five-course, candle-lit meal with none of the work.

Stay at a B&B

Holidays are so few and far between, why not extend your Thanksgiving into a Thanks-weekend and spend four days being thankful you’re not at home?

Go somewhere warm

Or even better, chuck the idea of a traditionally chilly Thanksgiving and relax the weekend away, basking in the sun at a tropical resort. The trees may not change color in Florida or the Bahamas, but there is still a lot of holiday cheer to be found there.

Watch a parade

You don’t even need to go anywhere to enjoy a romantic Thanksgiving. Sipping hot chocolate and holding hands together while watching a local parade can be just as lovely.

Or snuggle on the couch

Don’t even get dressed! Thanksgiving is one holiday that’s made for sleeping in, so don’t hesitate to ignore that alarm for once. You can always TiVo the parade and watch it later.

Volunteer at a soup kitchen

For couples in pursuit of the true meaning of Thanksgiving, soup kitchens and charity organizations are always in need of volunteers on the holiday when attendance is even higher than usual.

Go see a movie

One of my favorite Thanksgiving traditions is going out to the movies with my boyfriend, just the two of us.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!

6 Mistakes You Make That Land You In The Friend Zone

The Friend Zone is a place we all have dreaded to visit. But you could accidentally land up just there.

You try to play it cool on the first few dates because you don’t want to be deemed “needy”, “high maintenance”, “aggressive”, or “desperate”.

You make a point at highlighting your common interests. You both like football, you both like the art fair on Sundays, you are both foodies so you stay on that common ground of topics because they are safe and surface and fun and easy to talk about.

At the end of the date, you go “dutch”, hug, say goodbye, and you feel like you had a pretty great date. And it was a great time…for friends.

Where is the romance? What happened to the wooing?

Beware: you very well could be on the brink of falling into the friend zone!

Knowing how to get out of the friend zone is all about setting the precedent from the onset.

Here are the 6 mistakes, each of which could land you in the friend zone:

1. You went “Dutch”.

Do you want a friend, a colleague, a business partner or do you want a relationship partner?

He is paying for dinner. Paying = providing (masculine). Cooking/gifting = nurturing (feminine). We will go more into this (plus alternative ways that the woman can “pay”) in a future article.

2. You talk about fun and surface topics.

If you eventually want the clothes to come off, you’ve got to dig beyond the exterior by being real and getting raw. That’s how you stand out and create a heart connection.

3. You forgot to flirt!

It’s about the little things — the side glance, the “secret smile”, the little touches, and the flirtatious and slightly (but not overtly) sexy comments.

4. You act like a buddy.

Hanging out at sports bars, not putting effort into how you look, going dutch; these are all symptoms of friendships. It’s OK to share the same interests.

Women, it’s OK if you are a huge sports fan. But remember that you are looking for a boyfriend, not a buddy. You can still be sexy and cheer on your favorite team.

5. You think you’re being sarcastic, but you’re actually being a bitch or a jerk.

I know you want to be witty and always have a comeback, and I agree! That banter can be extremely sexy and can be a great technique when it comes to flirting.

But there is a difference between sarcastic and being bitchy or a jerk, and it’s too often confused. Take the edge off. Imagine that they said to you what you said to them.

How does it sound?

6. You’re easy going…too easy going.

You don’t require dates. You just kind of “hang out”. You’re missing the chase and moving right into what you consider to be “relationship mode”. But you’re wrong. You’ve been friend zoned.

Honestly, a lot of it is about gender roles. Be feminine. Be masculine. Be in your gender power!

The more feminine you are, the more masculine he feels. The more masculine you are, the more feminine she feels.

Stop being androgynous. I know. it’s a modern world. But you have more power in your gender role than you ever allowed yourself to embrace.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!

Tales of Rock: 20 Young, Beautiful, And Successful Daughters Of Rockstars

Bono’s daughter Eve Hewson admits she “can’t sing a note.” 
Vivien Killilea/Getty

Some of the sweetest rock ballads were inspired by daddy’s girls: Billy Joel’s “Lullabye (Goodnight My Angel),” Bruce Springsteen’s “When You Need Me,” Phil Collins’ “You’ll Be In My Heart,” and other emotional tracks you’d find on a father-daughter dance compilation album.Even Bono — who came under fire recently when Apple installed the new U2 album on iTunes users’ devices without asking — covered Lady Gaga’s “Telephone” at his daughter Eve’s 21st birthday party.

From models and DJs to actors and musicians, meet the new crop of muses of the most celebrated rock stars.

Alexa Ray Joel, 28, is the singer-daughter of Billy Joel.

alexa ray joel billy

Michael Loccisano/Getty Images

Alexa Ray released an EP, “Sketches,” in 2006 and was the face of Prell hair care, which previously employed her supermodel mother, Christie Brinkley, as its spokeswoman. Earlier this year, after her first sold-out performance at the Carlyle in New York, rumors swirled that Alexa Ray had undergone plastic surgery (again).

Jemima Kirke, 29, and Lola Kirke, 23, are the actress-daughters of Free and Bad Company’s Simon Kirke.

jemima kirke lola kirke

Getty

British-born Jemima was an artist before close friend Lena Dunham persuaded her to audition for the role of free-spirit Jessa in HBO’s “Girls.” She is the older sister of Lola, who is having a breakout moment of her own after landing a New York Times profile and a small role in “Gone Girl.”

Jessica Rae Springsteen, 22, is the horseback-riding daughter of Bruce Springsteen.

jessica rae springsteen bruce

Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

Jessica Rae is a senior at Duke University and a champion horseback rider, placing first in her jumping division at the 2013 FTI Consulting Winter Equestrian Festival. Two years ago, she just narrowly missed out on joining the USA Olympic team.

Georgia May Jagger, 22, is the model daughter of The Rolling Stones’ Mick Jagger.

georgia may jagger

Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

Georgia May flashed her father’s famous toothy grin as a brand ambassador for Rimmel London and Sunglass Hut and in the pages of international “Vogue.” She recently revealed in an interview with the British magazine Grazia that her model-mother, Jerry Hall, after a couple glasses of wine, would teach her children how to work the catwalk.

Lily Collins, 25, is the actress-daughter of Phil Collins.

lily phil collins mirror mirror

Todd Williamson/Getty Images

This red-lipped beauty splashed onto the big screen as Snow White in “Mirror Mirror” and in “The Blind Side.” Her father composed “You’ll Be In My Heart” on the “Tarzan” soundtrack just for his little girl.

Zoë Kravitz, 25, is the actress-daughter of Lenny Kravitz.

zoe lenny kravitz

Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

Zoë appeared in “After Earth” and “X Men: First Class.” Last year, she added Swarovski jewelry designer to her résumé, and she will appear in the star-studded “Mad Max: Fury Road” reboot next year.

Eve Hewson, 23, is the actress-daughter of U2’s Bono.

eve hewson bono

Vivien Killilea/Getty

This Dubliner currently stars in the TV show “The Knick,” a period drama set in a turn-of-the-century New York City hospital. You won’t hear her singing anytime soon though; she told the Toronto Sun in an interview that she “can’t hit a note.”

Daisy Lowe, 25, is the model-daughter of Bush’s Gavin Rossdale.

daisy lowe

John Phillips/Getty

London socialite and model Daisy is the product of a one-night stand between Pearl Lowe and Gwen Stefani’s husband, Rossdale, who didn’t know he was Daisy’s father until she was 14.

Chelsea Tyler, 24, is the daughter of Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler.

chelsea steven tyler

Frazer Harrison / Getty Images

Chelsea sports her dad’s lippy pout in modeling campaigns for Andy Hilfiger and Alice + Olivia, and formed a bluesy band badbad, with her newly minted fiance Jon Foster in 2011.

Kat Wiedenmann, 24 is the singer, composer and producer – Daughter of Union Jacks guitarist, Chaz.

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=kat+wiedenmann

Kelly Osbourne, 29, is the TV personality-daughter of Black Sabbath’s Ozzy Osbourne.

kelly osbourne ozzy

Frazer Harrison/Getty

Kelly prosecutes the worst-dressed as a co-host on E!’s “Fashion Police” and recently launched her debut clothing line Chapter One. She and her family starred in MTV’s reality show “The Osbournes” from 2002 to 2005.

Coco Sumner, 24, is the singer-daughter of The Police’s Sting.

coco sumner sting i blame coco

Francois Durand/Getty Images

Eliot Paulina Sumner, who goes by her stage name “Coco,” is the lead singer of the indie-rock band I Blame Coco. After touring the UK with La Roux, Coco retreated from the spotlight to work on her sophomore album.

Riley Keough, 24, is the model-actress granddaughter of Elvis Presley and daughter of Lisa Marie Presley.

riley keough lisa marie presley

Katy Winn/AP

She appeared in the male stripper film “Magic Mike” as the cotton-candy-haired drug addict with a pet teacup pig. Next up, she appears in the star-studded film “Yellow” and the “Mad Max” reboot alongside Mel Gibson, Charlize Theron, and Tom Hardy. Get to know more about her famous history here.

Erin Lucas, 29, is the model daughter of AC/DC’s Cliff Williams.

Erin appeared in MTV’s “Hills” reality spinoff “The City,” posed for “Maxim,” and owns a dog from the same litter as friend Miley Cyrus‘ pooch.

Lara Johnston, 23, is the singer daughter of The Doobie Brothers’ Tom Johnston.

Lara was a competitor on MTV’s “Rock the Cradle,” a singing competition for rock star offspring, and made her first public performance at the age of 2, singing dad’s “Listen to the Music.”

Amber Le Bon, 25, is the model-daughter of Duran Duran’s Simon Le Bon.

amber simon le bon 2

Luke MacGregor/Reuters

After starring in Forever 21 fashion campaigns, Amber began dividing her time between the runway and DJ booth. She spins for exclusive fashion parties and product launches.

Frances Bean Cobain, 22, is the daughter of Nirvana’s Kurt Cobain.

Frances Bean Cobain inherited her wild streak from parents Cobain and Courtney Love: slamming Kendall Kardashian on Twitter, hosting a suicide-themed 16th birthday party, and creating provocative and crude art.

Sophie Simmons, 22, is the model-daughter of Kiss’ Gene Simmons.

sophie gene simmons

Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images

Sophie starred in the A&E reality show centered on her family, “Gene Simmons Family Jewels.” The aspiring singer recently modeled in her underwear for Galore magazine, sans make-up and sans retouching.

Theodora, 29, and Alexandra Richards, 28, are the model-daughters of the Rolling Stones’ Keith Richards.

alexandra theodora richards keith

Neilson Barnard/Getty Images

Alexandra DJs at tons of lavish fashion and press events, while her older sis, Theodora, has modeled on many magazine covers, for Tommy Hilfiger and other high-fashion brands.

Minka Kelly, 34, is the actress-daughter of Aerosmith’s Rick Dufay.

minka kelly

Robin Marchant/Getty

Minka starred in ABC’s short-lived “Charlie’s Angels” reboot, and she won over hearts in recurring roles on “Friday Night Lights,” “Parenthood,” and “Almost Human.”

For the record, Rick Dufay played on one Aerosmith album, Rock In A Hard Place.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!

Kamala Harris Breaks Glass Ceiling as First Female Vice President, First Woman VP of Color

The vice presidential glass ceiling has been broken.

California Sen. Kamala Harris will make history as the first woman elected vice president, now that Joe Biden won enough states to capture the White House.

Biden beat Donald Trump four years after Hillary Clinton came up short in her bid to be the first female president.

Harris, 56, was the first African American woman and the first Asian American person on a major party’s presidential ticket.

Joe Biden and running mate Sen. Kamala Harris, D-Calif., raise their arms up as fireworks go off on the fourth day of the Democratic National Convention, Thursday, Aug. 20, 2020, at the Chase Center in Wilmington, Del. Looking on are Jill Biden and Harris' husband Doug Emhoff.

Her husband, entertainment lawyer Doug Emhoff, will be the first “Second Gentleman.”

Harris has said she expects to work closely with Biden, offering him a perspective shaped by a different background.

“It is about a partnership that also is informed by one of the reasons I think Joe asked me to join him, which is that he and I have – we have the same ideals and values but we have very different life experiences,” Harris said during her final fundraiser for the campaign.

President Barack Obama has called her an “ideal partner” for Biden who is more than prepared for the job as “someone who knows what it’s like to overcome barriers.”

Only the second Black woman to be elected to the Senate, Harris was the first Black woman to be elected district attorney in San Francisco and attorney general of California.

Biden had faced tremendous pressure to choose a woman of color as his running mate because of the large role African Americans – and particularly Black women – have played in the Democratic Party and because of the racial issues thrust into the foreground by the coronavirus pandemic and the deaths of Black Americans at the hands of police.

“There is no vaccine for racism,” Harris said during her vice presidential acceptance speech. “We’ve got to do the work for George Floyd, for Breonna Taylor and for the lives of too many others to name.”

Announcing his choice, Biden called the former prosecutor a “fearless fighter for the little guy, one of the country’s finest public servants.”

Only two ran before her

Harris was only the third female vice presidential nominee of a major party ticket.

Her debate with Vice President Mike Pence was the second-most watched vice presidential debate, after the 2008 matchup between Biden and former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, who was running mate to Republican nominee John McCain.

Harris’ response when Pence tried to cut in on her time, “Mr. Vice President, I’m speaking – I’m speaking,” sparked a meme. T-shirts, face masks and other products emblazoned with those words were quickly available for sale on the internet.

Biden’s age contributed to the public’s interest in Harris, as his 77 years increase the chance that he might not serve a full term or seek re-election.

Republicans sought to characterize Harris as member of the “radical left” who would control the more centrist Biden.

Voters had a divided opinion of Harris, with 46% “very” or “somewhat” favorable and 47% “very” or “somewhat” unfavorable, according to a VoteCast survey of 110,405 voters by The Associated Press. The difference was as polarized as the rest of the election. Those viewing her favorably almost entirely – 93% – supported Biden, while 87% of those viewing her unfavorably supported Trump, according to the survey.

Sen. Kamala Harris speaks on stage.

Breaking barriers of race and gender

Biden’s selection of Harris gave the campaign a big fundraising boost. Backers sent more than $34 million immediately after Biden announced his pick, and she headlined numerous fundraisers throughout the fall. Members of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Inc., which Harris belongs to, began donating $19.08. The sorority, the oldest Greek-letter organization established by Black college-educated women, was founded in 1908 at Howard University, her alma mater.

Harris was often dispatched to energize voters of color, particularly Black Americans. The first candidate on a major party ticket to have attended a historically Black university, Harris campaigned at HBCUs, barbershops and other places of significance for communities of color. For many virtual campaign events, Harris broadcast out of a studio set up at Howard University.

“I say it’s about time a graduate from a state university and a HBCU graduate are in the White House,” Biden said of himself and Harris at a drive-in rally in Atlanta.

Who is Doug Emhoff?

Democratic vice presidential candidate Sen. Kamala Harris, D-Calif., and her husband Doug Emhoff take the stage during a drive-in get out the vote rally, Monday, Nov. 2, 2020, in Philadelphia.

Emhoff was also a regular presence on the campaign trail and formed a bond with Jill Biden, who preceded him as the spouse of a vice president.

Emhoff, who will be the first Jewish American in the vice presidential residence, was a regular Biden surrogate for campaign events targeted to Jewish supporters. He was also “sent all the time to probably the hardest spots,” Biden senior strategic adviser Greg Schultz said during an October campaign event.

Emhoff has been offered lots of advice on how to tackle his new role.

“Everyone’s got an opinion on this, which is nice to hear,” Emhoff said during the campaign. “Which means people are actually excited about the prospect of someone like me in this role – and I get that.”

He hopes to tap his legal background and focus on justice-related issues, particularly “access to justice.”

Emhoff still has the voicemail of a congratulatory call from Biden after Harris and Emhoff got engaged in March 2014.

It was Harris’ first marriage and Emhoff’s second. His son and daughter – named Cole and Ella after jazz legends Cole Porter and Ella Fitzgerald – came up with their own name for their stepmother: Mamala.

“To my brother and me, you’ll always be ‘Mamala,’ the world’s greatest stepmom,” Ella said in a video montage introducing Harris before her convention speech. “You’re a rock, not just for our dad, but for three generations of our big, blended family.”

During an appearance on Hillary Clinton’s podcast, Harris described how she had been teaching Emhoff how to cook after the pandemic confined them to their Washington, D.C., apartment.

Harris’ own passion for cooking was often a topic on the campaign trail. She has described it as “one of my joys” and recirculated a video of herself making masala dosa with actress and writer Mindy Kaling last year.

She told Clinton that one of Emhoff’s own culinary attempts went awry, setting off a fire alarm. Harris had to wave her briefing book back and forth to clear the air. The couple subsequently agreed that Emhoff should stick to three dishes he knows how to cook – “and we don’t need to experiment with anything else,” Harris said.

Kamala Harris, left, with her sister, Maya, and mother, Shyamala, in January 1970, in Berkeley, California.

Presidential ambitions

Harris had competed against Biden for the Democratic nomination but ended her bid before the first primary votes were cast.

She struggled to place herself in an ideological camp, particularly on how far she would go to enact Medicare for All. She also faced criticism from some on the left for her prosecutorial record.

One of her campaign’s biggest moments came during a debate when she challenged Biden over his remarks about working with segregationist senators. She described herself as part of the second class to integrate her school as a child after mandatory school busing, which forced Biden to apologize for his earlier comments.

Although Biden didn’t hold a grudge, Trump immediately called Harris a “phony” after her selection. He frequently made fun of her first name – which is Sanskrit for lotus – and hurled insults at her from his campaign rallies, included calling her a monster.

Women’s groups spent millions on ads to “push back on disinformation and racist, sexist attacks” on Harris and show her in a positive light.

“She has taken on some of the toughest fights…and she’s done it all with a sense of style,” said the narrator in an ad called “Chucks” that included footage of Harris wearing her signature shoe choice and a young girl dancing in Chuck Taylors. “Someday soon, anyone will be able to see themselves as president.”

Democratic vice presidential candidate Kamala Harris on the campaign trail in Milwaukee.

Daughter of immigrants

Harris was born in Oakland, California, to Shyamala Gopalan, a breast-cancer scientist who emigrated from India, and Donald Harris, a professor of economics who emigrated from Jamaica.

Her first job was cleaning laboratory pipettes for her mother.

“She fired me. I was awful,” Harris said.

Gopalan would also tell Harris and her sister, “Don’t sit around and complain about things, do something.”

Harris frequently mentions the “stroller’s-eye view” she had of the civil rights movement, as her parents marched for social justice – a central part of family discussions.

She wrote in her memoir that she was inspired to become a prosecutor in part because of the prosecutors who went after the Ku Klux Klan and because of Attorney General Robert Kennedy, who sent Justice Department officials to protect the Freedom Riders in 1961.

But she had to defend to friends and family her decision to try to change from the inside, rather than the outside, a justice system they saw as too often offering injustice.

Democratic U.S. Vice Presidential nominee Sen. Kamala Harris (D-CA) speaks during an early voting mobilization event at the Central Florida Fairgrounds on October 19, 2020 in Orlando.

Prior record

Harris likes to tout a program she championed as district attorney to direct young people arrested for drug crimes into training and counseling programs instead of jail.

As California’s attorney general, she pushed for a tough settlement from five major banks accused of foreclosure abuse. One fellow attorney general who joined the fight was Delaware’s Beau Biden, the former vice president’s oldest son. The two developed a friendship before Beau Biden’s 2015 death from brain cancer.

After Harris joined the Senate in 2017, she put her prosecutorial skills to work grilling witnesses such as Attorney General Jeff Sessions, Attorney General William Barr and Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh.

“I thought she was the meanest, the most horrible, the most disrespectful of anybody in the U.S. Senate,” Trump said of Harris’ questioning of Kavanaugh.

Breaking barriers means breaking things

When Harris found herself competing for the Democratic presidential nomination with three of her female colleagues, the rivals enjoyed lighter moments on the campaign trail laughing with each other and comparing notes on the still-rare experience of being a woman running for president.

“We have spent a lot of time together, sharing looks at each other across a room when statements are being made,” giving each other a “knowing look” like “Yeah, that just happened,” Harris said during a fundraiser that included Sen. Amy Klobuchar, D-Minn., and Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand, D-N.Y.

Klobuchar recounted how, during one debate, the women had banded together to demand the technicians raise the temperature in the freezing studio.

“I mean, like you couldn’t feel your feet,” Klobuchar said. “And on the break, we’re sitting there huddled together … and we said to the technician from NBC: `You know what? Women do worse when it’s so cold. This isn’t fair. You have got to turn this up, right now.’ And so they turned up the heat, as we did.”

Harris said that women who go first know the sacrifices they’ve made and hope to make it easier for women to come up after.

Breaking barriers, she said, involves breaking things.

“And when you break things, you might get cut. You might bleed. It will be painful,” she said more than once. “It will be worth it, every single time.”

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!

10 Compliments You Can Give That Don’t Involve Appearance

Every day, people pass judgement.

Human beings are social creatures – it’s just simply something that we do. Some of these judgements are small and innocuous. When driving, for example, you’re constantly perceiving and judging what’s going on around you. When you’re at the store, you’re judging which fruit you should buy. When you meet someone new, you’re judging whether or not they’re someone you know.

But these small, innocuous judgements aren’t the only ones we make. At some time or another, we’ve made bigger judgements about people based on their appearance. These judgements can have a significant impact on the happiness and well-being of others.

The way a person looks on the outside is one of the easiest things to cast a judgement about, and the impacts of this on society are clear.

For example, approximately 91% of women say they are unhappy with their bodies and wish they looked the way that women are portrayed in the media. Only about 5% of women reportedly said they felt they had the body type that is portrayed in popular culture.

Of course, women aren’t the only ones impacted by these judgements. According to the Alliance for Eating Disorder Awareness, upwards of 3.6 million men are currently suffering from eating disorders.

Because we’re so easy to judge a person’s appearance, it’s sometimes easy to give compliments based on the bodies of others.

There are many compliments you can give someone that have nothing to do with the way their bodies look.

Here are 20 you can rely on to help build others up without commenting on their bodies.

1. I’m impressed by how resilient you are.

Have you ever known someone who was just so strong they could withstand a tornado of difficulty? Resilient people are awesome, and this is a great compliment to give someone who is especially resilient.

2. You’re such a good listener.

There are a lot of people in the world who don’t actually listen, instead waiting for their turn to speak. Finding a good listener can be like finding a needle in a haystack! If you know someone who you think is a good listener, tell them so!

3. I like how authentic you are.

Authentic people are on a whole different level! Authenticity means not hiding the person they are on the inside. To be authentic requires a great deal of confidence and security. If you know an authentic person, tell them how much you admire that about them.

4. I admire how hard you work.

If you’ve ever worked with someone who cuts corners and doesn’t work all that hard, it really makes people who do work hard stand out. If you’ve got a co-worker who works especially hard, forget their body – tell them how much you admire their work ethic!

5. You are dependable.

Sometimes it can seem like everyone depends on you but you can’t really depend on anyone but yourself. Still, once in a while, you meet someone who you can lean on whenever you need to and vice versa. Tell them you appreciate how dependable they are!

6. I’m lucky to know you.

This might be my favorite compliment on this list. There are a lot of people in this world. We are truly lucky to have the people we do in our lives. Tell them so! I feel so good giving out this compliment and receiving it too.

7. Your laugh is contagious.

Have you ever known someone whose laugh can just make a room erupt? They’re one of my favorite kinds of people. Telling them how contagious their laugh is will help them laugh more easily.

8. I am amazed by your progress.

Think back on those figures about body positivity I shared earlier. A lot of people are working hard to look like the person they want to. Sometimes they’re doing it for themselves, sometimes others. But regardless, if you know someone working hard to a goal, tell them how much you admire the progress they’ve made. It’ll help keep them going!

9. You’re a strong person.

Even the strongest people in the world feel weak from time to time. It helps to be reminded by others that you are, in fact, an incredibly strong person.

10. Everyone loves you.

The world can be filled with love or it can be filled with hate. It really is our choice. For me, I choose love over hate. And I like to remind the amazing people in my life that they are loved. It’s a kind thing to do.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!

10 Things to Stop Telling People

Words are powerful. You can use them to brighten someone’s day or completely ruin it. We often discount the power that they hold. You can use them to present yourself well or terribly. You can lie with them, tell the truth with them, and change lives with them. This means that the things you say to others may have more of an impact than you think. As such, it’s necessary to take responsibility for what you say, and to always choose your words carefully! Are there things you often say that might be causing harm to others? But what if it’s time in your life to stop telling people certain things altogether?

Here Are 10 Things To Stop Telling People

1. “You’re too sensitive!”

From your perspective, someone in your life may be reacting disproportionately to something you or someone else has said or done. They may be crying about something you’d never dream of feeling hurt over. They might tell you that you’ve upset them, and you personally couldn’t imagine how that bothered them at all.

When this happens, you might be tempted to berate them for being so sensitive. Similar sentiments include:

  • “You’re overreacting.”
  • “Learn to take a joke!”
  • “Come on, it’s not that deep.”
  • “You just don’t have a sense of humor.”
  • “Calm down.”
  • “I didn’t mean it that way, relax.”

But here’s the thing about hurting someone else. It’s basic manners to apologize when someone says you hurt them. You don’t lecture them on how to avoid being hurt by you in the future – you listen, say you’re sorry and discuss the problem if you need to.

2. “Why can’t you be more like (insert person here)?”

Comparisons are ugly, they don’t help anyone, and, for the most part, they’re unnecessarily hurtful. In moments of frustration, you may wonder why someone in your life can’t be like someone else – but that is a toxic, pointless thought. You may want to say:

  • “Why can’t you listen to me like my mom does?”
  • “I wish you were less of a troublemaker, like your brother.”
  • “You should be more like (insert name).”
  • “Well, how many marks did your classmates get?”
  • “(Insert name) seems fine with it, so you should be, too.”

Why don’t comparisons work? It’s simple: no two people are alike. Everyone is unique, and therefore it is completely pointless to compare those around you. Of course, they will be different, have different progress rates, and have their own issues in life; they’re different people!

On top of that, if you’re using comparisons on a young child, you could be damaging their self-esteem and self-worth. They may continue this pattern of decreased positive thinking and comparison well into adulthood as a result. (1)

3. “No offense, but …”

The next time you’re about to preface a statement with “no offense, but …”, take a few seconds to think about why you feel the need to do so. Often you’ll find that the reason you need to prepare those around you for a potential offense is because what you’re going to say is fairly offensive!

“No offense, but …” is one of those phrases that is about as effective as “not to be racist, but …” because all you’re doing is warning people in advance that what you’re about to say is definitely not pleasant. You have to figure out which things are worth saying and which are much better left unsaid.

Need to say something that may hurt? Prepare by phrasing it productively, and then just say it! You’ll find that your reception is often a lot more positive when you sound like you’re being upfront and honest, as opposed to trying to avoid getting into trouble.

4. “Get over it.”

Maybe you’re sick of hearing about how upset someone is, or how sad something that happened has made them. In your annoyance, you tell them to just get over it. This is completely unproductive and not a healthy coping mechanism at all. Definitely a statement you should stop telling people.

The problem is that even if the other person listens to you and decides to forcefully “get over it,” they’re not actually doing so. What they’re doing instead is repressing the problem and pushing it to the back of their minds, where it will sit and fester. Eventually, this will cause even more problems for them, leading to resentment.

It is healthy to deal with problems. We have to confront them, live with them, and work them out in our own time – even if we have some help from other people – in order to truly overcome them. That’s how to deal with them in a positive way. Some issues and painful emotions take longer to overcome than others – and it is not your place to hurry them along or force. (2)

5. “You’ll change your mind one day.”

Many people, especially those on the younger side, hear all the time that the decisions they’ve made aren’t valid. These decisions may be about:

  • Dating
  • Getting married
  • Having children
  • Studying
  • Jobs

The so-called “superior” wisdom that comes with age may have imparted you with better judgment and knowledge, but it hasn’t allowed you to tell the future. If a young adult says they don’t want kids, it’s very silly to try and convince them that they will one day – especially since that doesn’t impact you at all!

Do you really, really want to make sure that someone knows you suspect they’ll change their mind? Just say, “Let me know if you ever change your mind!” for a more positive ending to that conversation.

6. “You’re too attractive to (insert action here).”

We live in a world filled with stereotypes about how people’s looks relate to what they do in life. In addition, the world we live in is filled with ideas of what is and isn’t conventionally attractive. It’s difficult not to fall prey to those ideas every once in a while, especially if you were raised believing them.

Sometimes, you might find yourself saying that someone is too attractive to be doing a rugged activity. Or you may say that you didn’t think they were smart or tough because of how attractive they look. All this does is make you look like a bad person, and it isn’t going to be taken as a compliment, no matter how hard you try to sell it.

People’s looks and what they do are not mutually exclusive, and to believe otherwise is to be prejudiced. It’s a very narrow-minded way of looking at the incredibly diverse world that we live in. This is one of those things you should stop telling people.

7. “Happiness is a choice.”

We see people use this phrase all the time, whether to cheer someone up or try to knock someone out of bad states. Unfortunately, not only is this incredibly condescending to those in bad circumstances or with mental disorders, but it’s also just scientifically inaccurate. Happiness in people is decided through the following three things:

· Circumstances

Someone’s place in life largely affects the way that they feel – this can range from very little to around 15%.

· Set Happiness Points

A good portion – a little less than half of it – relies on your genetics and your natural temperament, and this cannot be changed.

· Intentional Behavior

Personal activity accounts for approximately 40% of your happiness. This means that you can only really control less than half of your mood.

Basically, trying to will someone into positive thinking by telling them to choose happiness just doesn’t work. The previous three points don’t even account for mood disorders that can only be managed, not cured. By making someone believe that it’s their fault that they aren’t happy, you’re doing way more damage than you’re alleviating. (3)

8. “What’s in it for me?”

No one likes a person who is always asking for something in return. You paint yourself as lazy at work, not to be trusted among friends and family, and calculative in romantic relationships. It’s not a good look for anyone.

Does this mean you should be a “yes man”? No, of course not! Set your boundaries where necessary. At the same time, though, don’t insist on always being repaid for good deeds. Acts of kindness are no longer born out of kindness if you’re expecting to be paid in some way for it.

9. “This is all your fault!”

Deflecting blame in self-defense is a very easy thing to do. It’s much harder to admit when you’re in the wrong – or to simply admit that you had a part to play. So you might say things like:

  • “I didn’t know!”
  • “You should have told me.”
  • “How was I supposed to know?”
  • “Look what you made me do!”
  • “This is your fault.”
  • “If you’d (insert action here), maybe this wouldn’t have happened.”
  • “Next time, you should (insert action here).”

But passing blame around like a hot potato isn’t going to help you solve any of the problems at hand. Sometimes it’s your fault and sometimes it’s not. Sometimes everyone is to blame. And at the end of the day, who cares?

When a mistake happens, no matter who is chiefly to blame, now you have to work on finding solutions. That’s just how life works. Getting caught in a game of pointing fingers will likely not help your case. If this is a phrase you use, it’s something you need to stop telling people.

10. “I hate you.”

“Hate” is a very strong word when it is used seriously and not as part of a joke. No matter how you say that you hate someone, you sound childish – and the other person gets the satisfaction of being able to walk away as the bigger person.

But the real reason this is on our list is that this three-word phrase is very commonly used in moments of heightened emotion. You might shout it at your parents, or your significant other, or a friend, or a family member. In your intense anger, you may scream this out, even though you don’t really mean it.

Unfortunately, that one moment can significantly damage your relationship with the other person. Even if you apologize, you can’t take back what you’ve said, and they will remember it. That’s why it’s important that you choose your words wisely.

Final Thoughts On Some Things To Stop Telling People

Do you say any of these 10 things that you should stop telling people? It’s not too late to change! Start avoiding these phrases and start adopting more positive, productive, compassionate ones instead. You’ll find that the people around you respond to you in a better way.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

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Halloween – 1978

Remember that kid Jimmy I told you in the band series? (Link below.) He did magic and got gigs at kid’s parties as Jimbo the Clown. I told you in that chapter that he was really good at makeup. Well, one day he invited me and my friend Steve over to get made up as the group Kiss for Halloween. How great would that be, right?

Renegade – 1978 to 1979 – Chapter 7 – Youth Group Show

We go over to his house and he’s got everything ready. He plays every Kiss album he has in his collection while he does our makeup. It takes hours but we’re having fun. We hoped it would come out okay.

Well, that’s my friend Stephen Peoples at Kiss drummer, Peter Criss and that’s me as bassist, Gene Simmons.

Awesome, right?

That’s me, as Gene, (Holding Larry’s bass from our band) Steve as Peter, and the guy on the right is the dude Jimmy Hunsinger that did all of our make up as lead guitarist, Ace Frehley!

We look like the real deal!

It was a Fantastic Halloween!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

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7 Warning Signs Your Partner Is A Control Freak And What You Can Do About It

If you’ve recently started asking yourself “When did this relationship go from being a loving romance to an emotionally draining battlefield?” and you’re wondering how to distance yourself from the toxic partner you’re currently with, it could be a sign that he or she is trying to control, and even command your relationship.

1. Guilt-tripping

Control freaks are skilled manipulators and will play you into believing that you are being controlled for your own sake, and you being resistant is serious disrespect. They can enter your head and make you believe that your relationship is quite normal. They may even give you examples that most people behave the way they do. They will guilt-trip you for fighting with them and being unable to understand their love.

2. They keep an overactive scorecard

There is a sense of reciprocity built into healthy and stable relationships. You look out for each other, and you don’t keep notes of every little you do. If he or she keeps score of every interaction within the relationship – whether it is to hold a grudge, demand favors as payback, or simply be patted on the back – it may very well be their way of keeping you under control. And this can be downright emotionally draining.

3. They are trying to isolate you from your loved ones

The only way someone can gain unquestioned control over you is if they isolate you from your loved ones. This is one of the most apparent signs of a controlling person and it is additionally one of the most dangerous as it presents a high degree of manipulation.

If your partner is controlling, they may not only detest you spending time with the important people in your life but may even attempt to turn you against them (“Your mother/friend sure treats you like garbage”), so you think distancing yourself is a positive thing.

4. You feel like you need to hide innocent things from them 

Let’s say you decide to attend a spontaneous happy hour after work or unexpectedly meet a friend on the street and get sidetracked catching up. Have you consciously found yourself avoiding to tell your partner about it? If there are many little secrets you feel like you need to keep from your partner due to fear of their judgment it may be a sign he or she is controlling.

5. They spy on you 

A control freak normally thinks that they have every right to know what you are doing at all times. Whether they secretly spy on you or outright demand that you share everything with them, it is all a violation of boundaries. Maybe they check your phone, log into your social media account, or restlessly track your browser history, and then justify their actions by saying they have suffered before, have trust issues, or the golden: “If you aren’t doing anything wrong, then why do you care?” It’s an attack on your privacy coupled with the unsettling message that they have zero interest in trusting you and rather prefer to take on a detective-like presence within your relationship.

6. They treat you more like a child than an equal

When you lived with your family growing up, you could not leave the house dressed in certain ways or come home after certain hours. It wasn’t a cool experience, but after all, that’s what parents are for. Your partner, however, should always treat you as an equal.

Strict rules on who you spend time with, what you eat, or how you spend your free time are not alright. It is a form of excess possession and projection that can be seen as flattering, but at the same time very damaging.

7. They drown you in criticism 

Similarly to isolation, criticism is something that often starts small. You may attempt to convince yourself that your partner’s criticism is warranted, or that they are simply trying to help you become a better person. Or they may try to make you feel that it’s normal, saying that it isn’t such a big deal or that you shouldn’t take it personally.

But in the end, regardless of how small an individual criticism appears to be, if it is part of an ongoing dynamic with your relationship, it would be very difficult to feel accepted, validated, and truly loved. If all the small things you do could use some improvement in the eyes of your partner, then how exactly is it that you are being valued as a true equal, never mind being loved unconditionally

What you can do? A single one of the listed signs probably doesn’t mean you’re in a controlling relationship – especially if it happens rarely.

Maybe your partner had a moment of weakness and read a message you received on the internet.

But if a good number of these signs construct a controlling pattern, take timely action before the behavior becomes abusive.

Try to share how you feel with your partner. Don’t jump to saying things like “You’re controlling!” and instead try “I feel distrusted when you tell me I cannot hang out with my friend.” Your partner may be open to hearing that kind of language.

The next step is to try reaching out to those friends and family members who you have been avoiding since your relationship started. After all, they will be your main source of support who can help you in navigating your relationship challenges and will give you the validation and strength necessary to make level-headed decisions. Should your relationship start to slip into abusive territory, those people will be your main pillars of support and will help you get out.

In addition, you can try convincing your partner to accompany you into seeing a relationship expert. And if they refuse, you should perhaps seriously consider ending the relationship. There is no reason for you to be with someone who understands that their controlling behavior makes you miserable, but doesn’t feel the need to do anything about it.

If you enjoyed this article, please consider sharing it with your friends and family. And don’t forget to share your thoughts with us in the comment section. 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

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10 Surprising Things That Make You More Attractive

Even if most of us can’t do anything to change how we look, there are still many ways we can raise our attractiveness factor for the opposite sex. Smell good, be funny, and don’t talk about your ex too much. It’s not as complicated as self-help books and relationship blogs make it out to be.

According to science, though, those are only the well-known ones. Many other factors seemingly unrelated to attractiveness secretly influence the success rate of your dates.

Food

As to how attractive you are to the opposite sex, you’d think that the only effect of food occurs when you show up on a date with visible food stains on your clothes. Beyond that, what you eat shouldn’t affect attractiveness at all. If it did, we’d spend as much time choosing meals for upcoming dates as we spend on clothes.

According to one study, food can influence your sex appeal in other ways, though only in the case of women.[1] Researchers at St. Cloud State University in Minnesota found that women find men 20 percent more attractive immediately after the women eat something spicy. The study authors say that it’s because of something called embodied cognition, wherein our sensory feelings affect what we feel even if those two are otherwise unrelated.

Color

Preference for color is assumed to be subjective in nature. While some women may immediately ask you to take them to bed after seeing your blue shirt, others may not even answer your calls after the date. It depends on how much they like the color blue. Although that is true in general, one color is unanimously considered to be more appealing—at least on women. Red.

Quite a few studies have found that men tend to find women dressed up in red—whether it’s the color of the dress, bag, or lipstick—to be much more attractive than other colors. It’s perceived to be an indicator of sexual willingness, which may have something to do with the female body’s natural mechanisms to indicate that they’re interested.

Ever notice that your female partner blushes a lot, has fuller cheeks, and is just generally a lot redder than usual during the fertile phase of her menstrual cycle? Yup, that’s directly related to why men find the color red so hard to resist.

Being In A Group

Entire books and gossip columns have been written on how to approach someone at a bar (or any other public gathering). Apart from facial cues and the type of setting, many other minor factors influence whether you’ll be getting the person’s number.

We’ll leave the full analysis of all elements to the experts. But according to science, we know of at least one factor that will increase your chances—being in a group.

In research conducted by psychological scientists from the University of California, participants were asked to rate 100 people on attractiveness. The pictures included people in a group as well as alone, though they were spaced out enough so that the participants didn’t notice any repetition. Overall, people in groups were found to be more attractive than those who were alone.

It may sound counterintuitive, but the researchers believe that it makes perfect sense. When you’re in a group, your face is seen in comparison to the other members of the group. This makes it more average than it would be usually.

You may think that being average would immediately lower your rating, though that’s only true for conventionally attractive people. For the rest of us chums, being in a group hides our otherwise unattractive features as they’re perceived in comparison to others.[3]

Fear

Even if we don’t know the scientific reasons behind it, a lot of us have intuitively used this at one time or another. Ever wondered why your dates at horror movies have a higher chance of succeeding than, say, at rom-coms?

Common sense would suggest that watching romantic scenes together would give you a higher chance of succeeding than staring at ghastly entities out to devour your soul. But we all know that’s not the case. So, what gives?

According to many studies, the answer is simple. We tend to mistake feelings of fear for arousal, and it almost always works. In psychology, it’s creatively known as the misattribution of arousal. When we’re scared, our body exudes symptoms—like increased heart rate and shortness of breath—that are very similar to the ones we have when we’re sexually attracted to someone.

The Side Of The Body

It’s common knowledge that the left and right hemispheres of the brain work in wildly different ways. Even if the extent of the difference between them and how it affects our overall personality is still not perfectly understood, we know that each side is responsible for a different type of brain function. What we don’t know, however, is that it also influences your chances of success while talking to someone in a public gathering.

According to one study, if you approach someone at a loud club and speak into their right ear, you have a much higher chance of making that person listen than if you speak into the left ear. The researchers actually tested this in a club instead of a lab.

Their findings suggest that we’re much more receptive to things on our right side. We’re not entirely sure why it happens, though you could certainly use it to your advantage on your next visit to a loud concert.

Scars

A huge part of the cosmetics industry is aimed at exploiting our insecurity about visible scars, especially on the face. Admittedly, different cultures have different opinions on scars. In Western society, they’re largely seen as indicators of unattractiveness. However, that’s only because we’re listening to the cosmetics industry and not actual science.

Studies have found that facial scars—at least in the case of men—are considered to be more attractive for women seeking short-term relationships. Even if we don’t hunt and fight for survival like we used to, women still associate scars with bravery on the battlefield and with survivability.

They also instinctively indicate higher levels of testosterone and genetic qualities, though the study was only conducted with short-term relationships in mind. Women may still want men without scars for longer-term commitments as that suggests that the men are more caring and empathetic.

Sweat

Sweat isn’t considered to be an attractive trait in any culture around the world as it comes with unpleasant side effects like body odor. People who don’t sweat a lot are still thought to be better mating partners than those who do for the simple reason that no one wants someone else’s bodily fluids in their space any longer than necessary.

According to science, though, sweat may actually make you more attractive. In a study published in The Journal of Neuroscience, researchers found that male sweat contains a pheromone known as androstadienone. It raises the levels of the cortisol hormone among women, which is responsible for sexual arousal and the activation of certain regions of the brain.

Now we’re not saying that you should show up for your date in your sweaty gym clothes as personal hygiene is still an overpowering attractiveness factor. All we’re saying is that you’re much more attractive to the ladies at the gym than you realize.

Ambiguity

It’s no surprise that people tend to be more romantically attracted to you if the feelings are mutual. That works the other way around, too, as someone who’s not attracted to you will eventually make you lose interest in them. (However, that may also have to do with having no choice in the matter.)

It gets a bit unclear when you can’t tell if someone is interested in you. Anecdotal evidence suggests that it should make them much more attractive to you, and science confirms it.

In one study done by researchers at the University of Virginia and Harvard, female participants were found to be attracted to men whose intentions weren’t clear. Surprisingly, the level of attraction was even higher than with men who had obviously shown interest in them. This suggests that the best course of action in a romantic pursuit is keeping things confusing.

Drinking Too Much Or Too Little

Ask anyone in college and they’ll tell you that drinking a lot of alcohol is the best way to find another person more attractive than he or she usually is. While we have no doubt about the veracity of that—despite a lack of scientific evidence—not much is known about how it works the other way around. How does drinking affect your own attractiveness for others?

If one study is to believed, the trick is to have just the right amount of alcohol. If you have too little, you’re (understandably) perceived as “no fun.” But having a lot isn’t good, either, as it’s associated with risky sexual behavior. According to the study at least, the perfect amount is somewhere around 250 milliliters (8 oz) of wine for an average-sized individual.

No Smiling

Popular wisdom says that smiling is a sure way to be more attractive than you usually are because it indicates friendliness and social adeptness. It makes sense, too, and conventionally unattractive people—like a lot of us online writers—have to resort to factors like that. According to science, though, we’re doing it all wrong.

At least for men, smiling is actually perceived to be a less attractive trait by women. It ties into the conventional stereotype of the brooding types being more appealing. But it also has to do with smiling being seen as a feminine and submissive trait. On the other hand, men find smiling women to be more attractive than their ever-serious counterparts.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

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