Here Are Five Things You Do That Make People Dislike You

It’s not hard to make someone dislike you, whether you’re interacting online or in real life and there’s something you can do to not be that annoying person.

1. Humblebragging. That’s where you pretend to be self-deprecating, but you’re really saying something positive about yourself. People see through it, and it’s a turn-off.

2. Including a smiling emoji in work emails. Smiling in person makes people like you. But emojis can make you seem less competent. Especially in a professional setting.

3. Using an extreme close-up as your profile pic. According to research, four-and-a-half feet is the best distance between you and the camera lens. Pictures taken from a foot or two away make you seem less trustworthy.

4. Sharing too many photos of the same people. According to research, friends don’t like seeing too much of your family. And your family doesn’t like seeing too many friend photos. So you might want to consider a more balanced approach.

5. Never talking about yourself. Asking questions is a common tip we hear because most people like talking about themselves. But you CAN ask too many. And when you never talk about yourself, it’s harder for people to feel close to you.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Tales of Rock -10 Most Notorious Hell-Raiser Rock Bands

Rock ‘n’ roll, as a rule, is not built for the faint of heart. You can be a sensitive soul with a message to get across in your emotionally wrought lyrics, sure, but if you’re looking to live that life, you’ve got to be prepared for a little rough and tumble.

The travel, the expectations, the screaming fans – it can become pretty grueling. And in such circumstances, it’s no surprise that some – most – rockers decide to kick back and party.

There’s indulging in a little carefree leisure time, though – and then there are the extremes to which some of rock’s most legendary hell-raisers take things. The music industry is filled with tales of excess and wild behavior, some of them funny, some of them impressive, some of them downright sinister.

The age of the degenerate, uncontrollable, pure id rockstar seems to be fading away – which may be for the best, given some of the legacies left behind – but with a century of hard-hitting, fast-living cowboys behind us, there’ll always be the stories to revel in, to be wowed by, and often appalled by.

10. Happy Mondays

Few bands have caused so much chaos with such good nature as the Happy Mondays. As part of the Madchester scene of the ‘80s and ‘90s, hedonism was naturally on the cards, and the band embraced the chemicals as much as any raver. And then, they took things that little bit further.

The Mondays’ drug habit was such that they would burn through their record label’s money at an astonishing pace, a lifestyle which has led to several members of the band declaring bankruptcy post-heyday. The uber-mellow ecstasy scene of the band’s early period led to some great psychedelic throwback records.

Things got sinister when the hard stuff set in during the early ‘90s. In an attempt to wean the band off heroin, the 1992 album Yes Please was recorded in Barbados, where Shaun Ryder successfully kicked his habit by transitioning onto crack. The sheer excess of this excursion led to the ruination of Factory Records.

Hearteningly, the majority of the Mondays seem to have come out the other side, and while one might argue that the modern mannerisms of Ryder and Bez show remnants of former drug use, the fact that they’re still in one piece, and still intermittently performing, is impressive indeed.

9. Guns N’ Roses

In a heartwarming postscript to the band’s ‘80s heyday, Guns N’ Roses guitarist Slash now seems like one of the soundest musicians in rock. Always good for a quip and still clearly in love with what he does, he has, it seems, escaped a grubby scene unscathed.

Things seemed like they could go the other way for a long while. In the 1980s, as well as a brief stint as the biggest band in the world, few acts could have been consuming more booze and gear than Axl and the boys.

Slash took things the furthest when he briefly died in the early ‘90s after overdosing on speedballs. Resuscitated after eight minutes, it was the wake-up call he needed – a scant 15 years later, he got himself clean. Bassist Duff McKagan, meanwhile, managed to drink enough that his pancreas was swollen to the size of a football by age 30.

Most worrying, though, was the behavior of frontman Axl Rose. While less famous for his substance abuse, the man was a ticking time bomb for much of his career, challenging the entirety of Nirvana to a fight, ruining gigs with his timekeeping and temper, and hiring and firing band members at will.

8. Led Zeppelin

The band that wrote the rule book for rule-breaking rock bands, Led Zeppelin had seen it all and done it all before most notable bands had picked up a guitar or a needle. Some of their exploits are classic tales of wild rockers; others are downright sinister and indecent. One thing’s for sure, though: few if any have cleared the bar that Zeppelin set over 50 years ago.

There are particularly famous anecdotes (the mud shark incident, which doesn’t bear repeating, for one), but the band was just excess personified full stop. The hotel room trashing, hard-partying, the fast-living group was given its template by the success of Zeppelin, who only got more successful the faster they lived.

They all had their own vices – John Bonham, booze and fast cars; Robert Plant, ladies and eventually heroin; Jimmy Page, black magick and questionable romantic pursuits (to say the least). They flaunted their chaotic lives while putting out eight good to great albums in 10 years, which isn’t bad going.

They’ll forever be one of the most influential bands ever, but it’s debatable which part of their legacy is more important: the sound, or the decadence.

7. The Beach Boys

The clean-cut California surf enthusiasts may not strike you as the hardest partying outfit, but between the precise harmonies and musical innovation was a shockingly dark side, particularly in its most talented and most charismatic members, Brian and Dennis Wilson.

Brian, the epitome of tortured genius, raised hell primarily in his own mind. With the weight of the group on his shoulders and feeling in direct competition with the Beatles, he pushed himself into increasingly ambitious works through unconventional means, turning his mansion into a recording studio and filling it with sand.

His drug usage made him a hermit for a while, but that streak of self-destruction was more explosive in younger brother Dennis, who embraced the fast living sixties more than most. A major star before his 20s, there was no way he wasn’t going to embrace the lifestyle afforded to him by his group’s success.

So free-spirited was Dennis that he allowed the Manson family, pre-murders, to crash with him for a long while, an association he regretted to his premature death. It doesn’t get much more literally hell-raising than that.

6. Butthole Surfers

The legendary Texas band thrived on pure chaos. Their records are brash and irreverent, at times impenetrable, others brilliant. Their live shows were known and loved for their visceral, unpredictable nature (which later became pretty predictable, with audiences showing up specifically to become embroiled in the chaos).

The band built their own mythology, telling anyone who would listen of their daily routine – LSD-laced cornflakes, whisky, and gin being the regular diet for a six-month-long European tour – but they were no idle talkers. For those caught up in their drift, they were a frightening proposition, with concerts turning into orgies, brawls, or both.

The band’s music has been influential for heavy hitters like Kurt Cobain, but few since have been able to capture the sheer weirdness of the Surfers, who have burned enough bridges to sabotage a dozen careers, but always seem to come bouncing back,

Now well into middle age, the band’s core members have barely changed at all, still more than willing to catch a ban from various prestige festivals through sheer belligerence. Somehow, though, they always seem to bounce back.

5. Aerosmith

You don’t get a nickname like “The Toxic Twins” without putting in some serious mileage. From the late ‘70s to the tail end of the ‘80s, Aerosmith’s Joe Perry and Stephen Tyler were unstoppably indulgent. Given their status in the scene at the time, they’ve partied to extremes few could afford to top.

Perry, for example, hired a roadie whose sole responsibility was to sort him out with a bump of powder during a performance. Aerosmith had no time for admin – they had the money to ensure that they were fully topped up at all times; they had only to enjoy the spoils of war.

Burnout was inevitable, of course, and the rampant self-destruction led to infighting and a downturn in quality. Gigs were ended prematurely by Tyler, too blasted to notice they’d only just started playing. In due course, the band decided they had too good a thing going to let substances get in the way – they entered rehab and came out an entirely different proposition.

Aerosmith is now the power ballad band, rather than a group of raucous rockers. And while their bank balance and their health have taken a step in the right direction, the danger and the riffs are long gone.

4. The Sex Pistols

It’s no secret that the Sex Pistols, far from the new voice of gritty British discontent, were essentially a manufactured act. While they may have been the image-centric brainchild of Malcolm McClaren, though, they used their status as the country’s most dangerous group to live faster and harder than any other boyband you’d care to mention.

The Pistols were pure combat and codified much of what we now associate with punk: the antagonism, the spitting. Their gigs could turn into brawls, especially when they took the act to the USA, where crowds could be riled into launching glasses at the group, who lapped up the hatred like milk.

Chief among the miscreants was bassist Sid Vicious, hired for his look and attitude rather than his musical skills. While he didn’t contribute much musically, the band’s mythology resolved majorly around him. He attacked journalists, leaped with both feet into the heroin scene, and overdosed not long after (allegedly) murdering his girlfriend – a charming character all around.

They took on the monarchy and won (sort of), and brought unpalatable music and lifestyles to the mainstream. They may have been performatively outrageous (see: the Bill Grundy show), but few acts have made as much of a scene with so little time.

3. Robert Johnson
Wikipedia

Among the most mysterious figures in the history of rock, the famous Robert Johnson story purports that he sold his soul to the Devil in exchange for his legendary guitar prowess. One of the masters of the Delta Blues, Johnson’s relatively small back catalog means it is his wild and mysterious life that is now better remembered than the music itself.

Johnson spent much of his brief time wandering the earth (or, more specifically, America), peddling his blues and enjoying the fringe benefits afforded to a musician of his caliber. He would form relationships in every town, staying with various women who knew nothing of one another’s existence.

Johnson’s (possibly apocryphal) demise only serves to add to his legend: it is said that the notorious womanizer was poisoned – by a jilted lover, a jealous husband, or a rival, no one can be sure. Historians suggest he may have died of boring old syphilis – which, given his lifestyle, seems believable.

Whether or not he bartered with Satan, Johnson was one of 20th-century music’s first great wildmen, in a time when you could simply split town once you’d pushed your luck too far.

2. Mötley Crüe

Quite bad Mötley Crüe’s film The Dirt shows the group being out-extremed by Ozzy Osbourne, who cheerfully laps up urine and snorts a line of ants to wow the Californian rockers. While that anecdote sees Ozzy come out on top, though, there can be few acts for whom partying took such precedence as the Crüe,

The lifestyle suited the quartet, who embraced every faucet of rock stardom from the off. More groupies, more drugs, more booze. The band’s increased status directly correlated with the scale of their partying. They behaved like monsters for a good decade and got away with it because they were so popular.

Perhaps the most metal moment of their careers came when Nikki Sixx wrote the song “Kickstart My Heart” based on an overdose which led to his heart genuinely being restarted with adrenaline, allowing the Crüe bassist to join Slash in the “has been dead for a bit” club.

In one of the easiest gigs in journalism, author Neil Strauss got a book published simply by writing down all the grotty stuff Mötley Crüe got up to in the ‘80s, and it remains a classic of the genre – basically the Bible for bands whose ambition is to live the rock star cliche.

1. GG Allin & The Murder Junkies

You know you’ve sealed your credentials as a hell-raiser when you’re far, far more famous for being an undeniably disgusting human being than you are a musician. You know you’re not in for a gentle night of cheery tunes when you go see a band called “The Murder Junkies”, but audiences had never seen anything like GG Allin.

Allin would appear on stage, undress, and swiftly soil himself – and that was for starters. Fights with audience members were routine, and if a Murder Junkies gig ended without the frontman filthy, bloodied, and in the bad books of the venue owner, then you’d caught him on an off night.

The music was secondary to the performance, but in his lyrics Allin was ever incendiary, cheerfully throwing in racism and misogyny, ostensibly to provoke controversy and debate, rather than out of any real hatred. Naturally, you’ll find few backers for his discography these days.

Allin died predictably young, and he went out as he would have wanted – with his unpreserved, bloated corpse taking pride of place at a funeral-cum-party, during which his friends got loaded and posed with the carcass. There’ll never be another GG Allin, and that’s probably for the best.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

5 Signs Your Innocent Friendship Has Turned Into a Full-Blown Emotional Affair

Emotional affairs often begin as non-sexual friendships.

What is an emotional affair? How did your innocent flirting with someone you claim to be just good friends with turn into emotional cheating and infidelity?

I cannot count how many couples have come into my life with their relationships in shambles — with one spouse saying that their partner had an affair, with the other denying an affair occurred often proclaiming that they are “just really good friends” and that they “never had sex”.

So…was it an emotional affair?

In a monogamous relationship, people share both emotional and sexual information that is exclusive to their partners. They expose their weaknesses, mistakes, and innermost feelings.

We build trust with the other person because we make ourselves vulnerable. These conversations are valued and treasured by us because we know this information is reserved for us and only we have access to these aspects of our partner.

Emotional affairs often begin as non-sexual friendships. We confide in our friends perhaps because we feel our partner lacks understanding or they are unavailable.

This is particularly common with couples where one or both partners is a busy executive. When we lack access to our mate and need an outlet to talk to, we turn to our friends. And there are the always available social media, where platonic relationships can easily take root as deep and emotional friendships.

One important point here is that a majority of the emotional affairs begin as harmless friendships without any intention or plan to develop the relationship beyond that of a platonic friendship.

Unfortunately, we all have limited time, energy, and emotional resources available — and when these finite commodities are expended on the “friendship” rather than your partner relationship, there is a disconnection where the partner has cheated, emotionally.

An emotional affair is one where a person falls in love with another person but the relationship is not sealed with a sexual act. Over time, if the emotional affair continues (perhaps you flirt without realizing), it often leads to a sexual affair.

Emotional affairs can be devastating and destructive to your current relationship and family. In fact, emotional affairs can cause as much (or more) damage as physical affairs, but be more devious since they are less obvious.

Why? Because it leads to secrecy, deception, and is established primarily to gain an emotional high or to run away from negative experiences within the actual marriage itself.

One of my clients recounts, “I was so much more shattered by my husband finding solace and love with her. I could have more easily forgiven a one night stand because she wouldn’t have meant anything to him but as an object for sex.”

When someone falls in love and seeks such intimacy with that other person, when the time spent with the partner is superficial because their heart longs to be with someone else, the underlying trust is shaken.

Casual flirting or a crush don’t even begin to cover the irreparable damage such kind of “affairs” cause.

So, are you having an emotional affair or are you just friends? Are you on the path to an affair, even though nothing has physically escalated…yet?

Here are 5 signs you’re having an emotional affair (and you need to stop).

1. You have conversations you’re not too comfortable with your spouse knowing about

Do you find yourself hiding your phone (or getting a separate one), making sure your email and phone passwords are secret? Maybe you’re thinking “I’m glad my partner isn’t (reading, watching, finding) this (call, text, picture).”

These are signals the “friendship” boundaries have already been crossed.

2. You find yourself daydreaming or making plans with this person

Examine your mindshare. Does this person occupy your thoughts unceasingly? Are they on your mind when you go to sleep, when you awake in the morning, and during most of the day? Whenever you are alone, do you think about them and seek opportunities to speak with them?

In a way, you begin to idealize this person. You may become more discontent with your partner and share concerns and problems with your friend while becoming more distant with your spouse. At times, you may even have disappointment that your spouse doesn’t do things like your friend does.

You, then, begin to find faults in your spouse for habits, beliefs, or approaches to situations that were never an issue and have always been present in the relationship.

Your tolerance for your mate is then less and they begin to irritate you leading to the belief that this person understands much better you’re your spouse ever did or could.

If you find yourself feeling more connected to your friend rather than your own spouse, then clearly some changes need to be made.

3. You’ve lost interest in being intimate with your spouse

It is a fallacy you think that affairs begin in the bedroom. Affairs actually begin in the mind.

First, emotional involvement often leads to our seeing our friend as having few, if any, flaws. This leads to our partner’s flaws becoming considerably more obvious leading to our being critical of our spouse and their habits and mentally comparing them to our friend.

While looking your best for work or going out is not an issue, the action of doing so for a specific person is entirely different. The action of being visually attractive to another person begins in the mind.

Expending considerable emotional energy and thought into dressing up for a friend is a signal that the relationship has a deeper meaning than that of traditional friendship.

Once you dress the part do you let your imagination play out romantic fantasies about your friend? Daydreaming and planning a new life with our friend is often the next step in the progression of an emotional affair.

This mental scenario with our friend is beginning to evolve into a relationship that we feel would be far superior to that of our partner. Directing your energy into cultivating a fantasy is not far from the fantasy transforming into a reality.

4. You’re spending less time with your spouse

Are you spending less time with your mate since the relationship with your friend has become a more significant part of your life? Are you are sharing personal problems, feelings, and thoughts with your friend instead of your partner?

Do you create ways to talk with or be alone with your friend? Do you stage opportunities where it is probable you will run into your friend and then the opportunity to speak with them appears organic? Do you find excuses to talk with them?

Whenever you have something exciting in your life or anything good or bad happens, do you rush to this person to share?

Whether it is communication, your daily life stuff, affection, thoughts, time or focus, does your spouse get less of your mind share while your friend gets more?

While there is nothing wrong with having a good friend, the problem comes when you begin to share less with your mate.

If everything that you used to give to your partner has become considerably less or completely transferred to this new person these are warning signs that an emotional affair is in the works.

5. You keep secrets and lie

Are you keeping the friendship with the other person a secret? Do you minimize the amount of time you spend with your friend to others? Do you omit details about meetings, private lunches, or phone calls?

Do you guard passwords, access to your phone and social media accounts from being seen by your partner? Do you delete evidence from your phone, lie about your whereabouts or deny having communication with your friend?

These are also hallmarks of an emotional affair.

Now that you’ve realized that you’re on the brink of an affair without meaning to, what should you do next?

It is important to remember that even when such affairs do not cross the line and reach the physical stage, the impact is equally damaging and could put your marriage in a danger zone.

The intimacy and chemistry that is the core of an emotional affair have a deeper emotional intensity because you happen to be emotionally invested in it.

An emotional affair is bad, it can slowly disconnect you from your partner and you won’t even realize it. If you have such a kind of friendship with the opposite sex, cut the relationship ASAP. Otherwise, it will take you down the road of a physical affair very soon.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Why Are Men Attracted To “Crazy Women”?

Men would often claim that they’d rather avoid dating “psychos” or “crazy women.” But this is just a big fat lie as big as the “women want a sensitive, nice guy” lie…

Maybe we don’t want to desire the crazy woman or the bad boy because we’re aware that this will bring us only pain and frustration in the long run and yet we’re caught up in the same old pattern over and over again. The reason for this is that there are factors in our biology and psyche that unwillingly drive us towards desiring attributes our conscious selves would strongly discourage. In truth, it’s not “crazy” that we search for, but the side courses that go along with it.

For men who are into crazy women, there can be more than one reason.
1. They want to be heroes

Men love to fix situations and be heroes. It makes them feel appreciated, important and feeds their ego. And who is a better person to be saved than a poor, defenseless lunatic? What guys fail to understand here, however, is that fixer-uppers don’t normally turn out to be a smart investment. If you need something to fix, there are plenty of lonely, normal girls out there in need of renovation.

2. They want to feel needed

If a man has just come out of a relationship with someone who made him feel unneeded or ignored he is highly likely to get caught up with someone crazy. And while her moods, cries, and demands might be agitating, she will also make him feel needed. After being ignored and made to feel unnecessary in a loveless and devout of sexual adventure relationship for a long span of time, it can feel intoxicating for him to get caught up with an overly needy crazy woman. After years of emotional flatness, this new roller coaster feels like quite the thrill!

3. Crazy women are incredible in bed

Part of what defines a crazy woman is her lack of self-restraint. She’s impulsive and gives into pleasure and excitement, just like the man who desires her. And if that is how she acts in the bedroom, she will be all he ever wanted. A woman who is cautious will protect herself physically, sexually as well as emotionally from the unknown until she can be certain. A crazy woman, on the other hand, will immediately jump in and get caught in the moment. This can mean a lot of fun for the horny man eager to get his freak on.

What are your theories on why guys are attracted to crazy girls? Let us know in the comment section below.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

How Do I Date in My 60s?

That’s actress Morgan Fairchild. She’s over 60 and hot as hell!
It’s a myth that men and women over 60 are no longer interested in physical intimacy and relationships.

Sure, they may experience some different dating challenges than they did when they were younger, but every year countless singles over 60 seek love, find it, and get married. You can, too.

Read on to discover how to navigate this new chapter of your life.

1. Join a Senior Dating Site

The number one venue where you can easily find other attractive and eligible singles in their 60s is a senior dating site. Everyone else on the site is in your age demographic and, by creating a profile, has indicated their interest in dating and relationships.

Here are two of my favorite options:

Match.com

★★★★★
4.9/5.0

Match.com

Match.com Dating Website

Relationships: Friends, Dates, and Relationships

Match System: Browse by zip, age, appearance, more

Our Experts Say: “Match.com has more “over 50” members than any other dating site, and it has a simple matching process that is responsible for millions of romantic connections…” Full Review »

Match is one of the most established names in the online and mobile dating space, and you can create a free profile within five minutes. It’s also free to browse for matches, receive matches based on the site’s algorithm, send flirts, and finding listings for local Match events.

EliteSingles

★★★★★
4.7/5.0

EliteSingles

EliteSingles.com Dating Website

Relationships: Serious Relationships

Match System: Search, Receive Partner Suggestions

Our Experts Say: “EliteSingles caters to highly educated single men and women, and it uses an advanced Fraud Detection System to make sure everyone is who they say they are…” Full Review »

EliteSingles is great for seniors who value education as almost 100% of its members have earned a bachelor’s, master’s, and/or doctorate degree. You also shouldn’t have any problem finding someone for a relationship on EliteSingles because almost 100% of its members are commitment-oriented.

The thing I love most about dating sites is that they aren’t anything like meeting people at bars, which often cater to a much younger crowd. Senior dating sites provide a perfect replacement for that need in your life.

2. Consider Having a Makeover

Once you get to be over 45, every time you re-enter the dating world, whether it’s after a breakup, divorce, or the death of a spouse, you should consider sprucing up your image.

Photo of a woman putting on makeup

If you need some inspiration, do a web search on some of your favorite mature celebrities. Or go to the makeup or personal care counter at your favorite department store and ask for help. Or hire a personal shopper who can do all the work for you. Or ask a family member or friend to go shopping with you or rummage through your closet with a discerning eye. You get the idea.

Your new image will put a smile on your face, and that will help you be your most confident self.

3. Attend Local Events, Groups, Classes & Activities

One of the inadvertent benefits of working is you’re actively interacting with people every day. For example, that place you get your coffee en route to the office gives you the opportunity to meet new people and interact with them.

Photo of seniors working out

Typically, by the time you’re in your 60s, you’re retired, semi-retired, or rapidly winding down your full-time job. You need to replace some of that interaction. Local events are great for that, and you can find them by checking bulletin boards or visiting Meetup.comEventbrite, or Facebook Events.

4. Figure Out Your Dating Pace

Some senior singles may want to go on dates every week, while some may prefer to go on dates every other week. Figure out what works best for you and your lifestyle.

I recommend going on numerous dates and dating more than one person at a time until you’ve got a routine down that you’re comfortable with.

5. Stay Motivated

Whatever your goal may be, whether it’s sex, friendship, personal growth, companionship, dates, or love, you need to make some concerted efforts to achieve that goal. Let your goal be your driving force.

Photo of a note that says I can

Write down your goal (or goals) in a journal and reflect on it weekly. As you do so, you’ll fuel your self-motivation.

6. Turn to Your Friends & Family for Support

Identify those friends and family members who will be supportive and expectant of weekly dating updates from you. Share your dating news with them only. Avoid those who always say things like “It’s hard to find love at your age, “All the good women are taken,” etc.

Photo of senior friends

Until you’re in a relationship and calling each other boyfriend or girlfriend, I recommend keeping things under wraps confiding only with your circle of trust.

If you can’t think of anyone like this in your life, working with a coach who specializes in senior dating, like me, can really help. You have someone who is rooting for you and in your corner; someone to email and share your ups and downs and challenges with.

7. Keep With Traditional Dating Behavior

Leaning back on gentlemanly and ladylike behavior will always stand you in good stead when you’re dating in your 60s. The etiquette of your first handful of dates with any new potential mate should be a bit traditional.

A first date should be something quick and casual like going for coffee, drinks, or drinks and appetizers, and you two should meet at the chosen venue. For the second date, the man should pick the woman up at her place, and he should pick up the tab.

Ladies, allow the man to suggest a few places to meet that fit his budget. Don’t suggest meeting at a bar for cocktails that start at $20 each. Guys, it’s OK to suggest an interesting venue with some conversation-prompting ambiance. Maybe not the dive bar, but the cool, locally owned Italian restaurant could be good.

8. Do the Personal Growth Work

After 60, you’ve likely been through a divorce or two, or you’re widowed like I am. Before you fully launch yourself into the world of dating, please do some personal growth work with a good therapist. Aim for working with him or her for three to six months just to exfoliate any of the emotional scars and learn some new healthy communication strategies and relationship skills.

You could also read books about personal growth or attend some workshops and seminars.

You don’t have to have a diploma in dating and relationships, but starting the personal growth work will help you attract people into your life.

9. Be Prepared to Openly Talk About Intimacy

The expectations and timing for intimacy and sex are different when you’re over 60. I’ve found that both senior men and women prefer waiting a bit longer. However, around the fourth date, the subject will probably come up.

Photo of mature couple in bed

Men, if you’re having some erectile dysfunction issues, you may want to at least start the conversation with your primary care physician and get a prescription prepared. Or you can go the holistic route and ask the folks in the supplements section of your health food store what they would recommend.

Ladies, now is not the time to look at yourself naked in the mirror and start tearing apart how you look. When you’re in bed with your man, you will be the only lady there, and he will be delighted.

Dating in Your 60s Does Take Effort, But It’s Worth It

Many things are different when you’re dating in your 60s. It does require a strategic approach and some concerted effort, but remember it’s worth it — and you’re worth it. Sharing all of you with another person is worth it. If you want to find love, you can. I’m cheering you on. You can do it. Let your heart be your compass!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1