Attractive People Reveal the Ups and Downs of Being Beautiful, and It’s Hard to Say If They’re Lucky

Many tend to think that beautiful people have it easy, and they do, in some ways. But many studies show it’s hardly heaven on earth for them. Some may even leave you wondering if beauty is more of a curse than a blessing.

Bright Side is aware that looks aren’t everything and good-looking people agree with us.

1. People of the same gender like to put them down, and many times they succeed.

Research shows that people feel threatened by beauty and when encountering someone beautiful, they may plan to put them down out of fear or jealousy. For instance, research has proven that if an attractive person has a job interview and is being questioned by a recruiter of the same gender, chances are, they won’t get the job because the interviewer will feel threatened.

People in the office might have a tendency to gossip about good-looking people because they can’t take away their looks, but they can kill their character. Those with good looks agree and express those people are constantly more competitive — specifically with them, pissed off if they don’t feel happy all the time, projecting their insecurities on them, and pushing them away for fear of competition, rejection, jealousy, or any other reason. They feel continually judged like they’re on stage.

2. People usually have higher expectations of them.

Psychologists call this phenomenon the Halo Effect, which is the way people link all kinds of positive features to their beauty by association. But in the case of attractive people, many associate them not only with positive features but also with positive results. Therefore, if someone’s good-looking, they expect them to have a loving family, a successful job, and easy life. Attractive people feel that there are a lot of expectations that they perform well professionally and that their career success naturally has to keep pace with their looks.

But it’s not that simple because they fail too. And the harsh part is that they’ll be continuously judged for it. And heaven forbid if they complain. Many people believe that if someone is attractive, everything bad that happens to them is their own fault.

3. They’re a bit smarter than others, even if some people believe they’re dumb.

A study has suggested that they might be a bit smarter than others. It discovered that intellect is linked to proportional and fit bodies. However, handsome individuals struggle with the stereotype that because they’re good-looking, they must be stupid. They have even gone as far as saying that their friends have confessed that they thought they were too pretty to be smart.

Attractive people may have even experienced the consequences of this stereotype. If they showed they were smart in any way, people wouldn’t like it, and would still judge them. They believe that you’re not allowed to be attractive, kind, intelligent, and self-sufficient all at the same time.

4. Many think attractive people are also nice, funny, and trustworthy.

Because of the Halo Effect, no matter their age, many people unconsciously believe that if someone is gorgeous, then they’re also kind, funny, honest, and reliable.

Handsome individuals admit they’ve experienced this bias and share the fact that people tend to be nicer to them. They’re also able to be more open because people are more forgiving with them. Even children are comfortable around them almost immediately.

5. They’re more persuasive even if they’re not trying to be.

Your uber has arrived

Being attractive gives people more confidence, which grants them the power to persuade others. It has been shown, for example, that when recruiters interview people of the opposite sex for a job, they’re more likely to hire someone attractive because their beauty influences their decision. And even if cute people aren’t trying to persuade someone to go their way, they just need to ask for something to get what they want.

As a result, gorgeous individuals confess that they can get away with things like passing an exam, getting out of parking fines, or getting into clubs for free. Fortunately, many don’t like using their beauty charms to their advantage. They know they have a lot of superficial power over a lot of people but have little-to-no interest in using it.

6. People tend to think they’re healthy.

Tru

Research suggests that facial symmetry can be perceived as a sign of health and that people with facial features that are not deemed as beautiful are more prone to catch a disease and become ill. Aside from the face, the body also counts. It’s not news that people who are considered attractive have a fit body and are an average weight, which makes healthy people stand out. Many beautiful people take care of their bodies and try to stay in shape. They believe in a healthy diet, some light exercise, water, and daily sunscreen.

7. It’s hard for them to find out if someone loves them or is just fooling around.

At the beginning of a relationship, they tend to have some doubts about the intentions of their significant other. Handsome people are not sure if a man or a woman loves them deeply or is simply attracted to them physically. They may even think their partners just want to brag about their looks.

This is why they complain that it’s hard to find a relationship with someone who knows them. They feel like others just tolerate their personality and don’t embrace it. Some beautiful women admit they’re not sure if guys are interested in getting to know them or if they just want a trophy girlfriend.

8. They get too much-unwanted attention which can be tiring, intimidating, and dangerous.

The smile from that handsome man was ok, but after a while, being in the spotlight makes them uncomfortable, awkward, and can lower their confidence. They tend to be insecure, because of the hyper-focused attention on their bodies, and feel like there’s nowhere to hide. If that’s not enough, they also get creepy looks from strangers with bad intentions, so they need to be extra cautious about where they go.

9. But looks aren’t eternal or even their best asset, and they know it.

Yes, being beautiful can have its perks, but it still comes with its limitations. It’s also an asset that fades away. As they age, attractive people feel their physical beauty slipping away in a very magnified way. It’s almost like having a superpower that they start to lose control of. The important thing, though, is to remember that it’s not the most fundamental thing that’s necessary to succeed in life. Take it from a cute guy: “Really though, it’s more about the charm I have that lets me get away with a lot.”

As with most things in life, even beauty has its pros and cons. Which of these advantages do you think is the best? Which of the disadvantages do you think would be horrible to put up with? Start the discussion below!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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5 Things I Learned After My Husband Cheated on Me

Here’s another post from one of my female readers. I think it’s worth sharing. Take it away, Jill!

I have something to confess: people whom you trust blindly can even deceive you in a span of seconds. I have been married to a man for almost years now. We had an unhappy yet satisfying marriage. Things took a turn when I got to know that he had thrown himself into an affair.

I couldn’t believe for months that the love of my life could cheat on me. Being cheated sucks big time. It doesn’t matter how miserable my marriage was – finding out, the person I loved would betray me – was nothing less than a nightmare.

It was as if cheating on me wasn’t enough. He left me for his girlfriend and married her after 2 years – cherry on the top, they are expecting their first child now. Trust me, this is not an experience you’d be willing to go through.

Do you want your forever to last? Here are some hard-earned lessons that I came across when my whole world crumbled to pieces.

Don’t Blame Yourself

If your husband cheated on you is it your fault? No. You are not to blame for his infidelity. It was a unilateral decision that he made – a choice which was made without your consent. His behavior was a very clear reflection of how he was as a person.

Sometimes, I thought that he left me because I wasn’t good enough. You’ll realize it soon that cheating has nothing to do with appearance, money or education. Stop being guilty.

Material things don’t matter. What’s significant is how you feel in each other’s company. Your husband found joy with someone else, so why blame yourself for it?!

Get Over It

Leave your past behind. Try to bring all the positive vibes that help you move on and get wiser to handle relationships in the future. I was distrustful of everyone initially, but with time I have tried to adjust myself and I have started accepting things.

You cannot remain sad and distressed your whole life. You may plan to look for a job. The best thing is to keep yourself busy so that you don’t have time to think about your traumatizing past.

Know Your Worth

I was in a marriage, where I was willing to give away all I had. But if someone doesn’t value you it’s out of your self-control. Don’t let go of your self-respect for the sake of a happy marriage. I wouldn’t recommend it at all.

Always know your worth! There is no point in staying with a person if it’s an abusive relationship. Try to consult a family law firm if you’ve decided to part ways with your partner. I, for one, realized I’m planting water to a dead flower.

Don’t Force Him to Stay

I made the mistake of forcing my husband to stay in the marriage even when he didn’t want to. There’s no point staying in an unwanted marriage.

Divorce is considered to be taboo in a community. But it’s better to let him go if he wants that. You’d be heartbroken initially but you’ll learn to cope up with life.

If he doesn’t want to stay, he has nothing to lose by negotiating with you. Don’t stoop low by clinging on to him. Forcing things on your spouse would just complicate things in the future.

Forgive and Forget

There will always be these two opinions. Sometimes, you’d think it’s okay to forgive him despite what he did to you. Or, you may go with the flow and leave things for God to decide. Forgiving your spouse will help you move on with life. The trust will come later.

If he’s really guilty, you may forgive him this one time and try to rebuild your relationship with your partner. For me, I always believed that it’s better to be alone rather than to be cheated on.

If you don’t want to forgive your partner, that’s your personal choice. It takes time to heal. It took me years to get past the melodrama, but I had my whole life ahead of me. That was the only reason I decided to forgive him and start afresh with him.

Have you internalized your feelings of rejection? Don’t close yourself from the faucet of truth. You definitely are worthy, important and able. You might want to devote your whole existence to the person you love but that existence may come crashing down.

Everything happens for a reason and only you so have a choice to grow from experiences.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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When It Comes to Hooking Up, We Really Do Have a Type

Just as many of us suspected: When it comes to looking for love, we’re stuck in a rut.

“The degree of consistency from one relationship to the next suggests that people may indeed have a ‘type,’ ” says Geoff MacDonald, a University of Toronto psychology professor and co-author of a new study on the subject. “And though our data do not make clear why people’s partners exhibit similar personalities, it is noteworthy that we found partner similarity above and beyond similarity to oneself.”

The study, published in the journal PNAS, has the catchy title, “Consistency between individuals’ past and current romantic partners’ own reports of their personalities.” Using data from a nine-year-long German study of 332 people, the authors found that there are clear patterns for predicting future lovers based on past partnerships.

“So, if you find you’re having the same issues in relationship after relationship,” says lead author Yoobin Park, “you may want to think about how gravitating toward the same personality traits in a partner is contributing to the consistency in your problems.”

The study also found that people tend to date those who resemble themselves, in one way or another.

“There’s definitely a trend I notice in the people I’m attracted to,” Sy Deunom, 23, an operations engineer in Philadelphia, tells The Post. “It’s not something I usually like to admit to, ’cause I feel like I’m pigeon-holing myself.”

In his case, the similarity doesn’t extend to the physical, says Deunom, who finds himself attracted to men with abundant facial hair and strong chests. “I feel like it’s a compensation for myself,” says the Philly resident, who says his own beard is skimpy and he has a deviated sternum.

Ariel Dineen, a 23-year-old researcher at a children’s hospital, finds she’s attracted to a certain personality.

“One of my friends was, like, ‘Your type is the equivalent of a tight black T-shirt — someone who is kind of edgy, charming, the center of attention,” the native New Yorker tells The Post.

That pretty much describes herself as well, she says.

“I think I’m similar to a tight, black T-shirt in some ways, in terms of being a little attention-seeking,” Dineen says.

She believes that dating the same type, again and again, is a kind of catharsis. “I feel like we end up trying to find these types because we try to relive or fix previous situations. It’s a way to amend, in the hope of having a new ending.”

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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5 Things to Know Before Separating From Your Husband or Wife (That Could Save Your Marriage)

It’s possible to still save your marriage.

Most couples think of separating when they no longer know what to do with their relationship problems. They know they’re not happy.

Perhaps, the love and connection between them feel dead. Maybe they can’t stop the fighting. A marriage separation might feel like the only way to save themselves.

But wait, isn’t a separation agreement just the first step towards divorce?

Separation is a pause in the action and treated with respect where the goal is a happy marriage.

For many people, it is because the pain is too great and the couple is desperate to feel better. They absolutely need to get away or take a break from the daily repetition of dysfunctional dynamics.

In her work, Dr. Sue Johnson, the founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy, refers to the Demon Dances that couples do — the dialogues that couples have over and over that lead to nowhere but more pain, marriage problems, and disillusionment.

When a couple gets locked in their own version of Demon Dancing, they may look to separate as a means to stop the noise without going through an actual breakup.

But separating doesn’t need to be the first step to divorce. Separated couples who structure their separations can quiet the demons while making the space for learning new tools and ways of interacting.

You will most likely need the guidance and marriage advice of a Relationship Counselor or Coach to help you to mediate the various factors which need considering.

Here are 5 things you need to know before committing to a separation — even a trial separation — with your husband or wife.

1. Know your goals

Are you both fully committed to the idea that this separation is to call “time-out” on the difficulties you’re experiencing — not a “time-out” on the marriage?

There should be an agreement that neither of you run off and file for divorce without a full discussion before the end of the agreed-upon separation. That goes for threatening divorce, as well.

The separation is a pause in the action and should be treated with respect. The shared goal is to work back towards a happy marriage.

2. Be aware of the practical implications

It will take some negotiation to figure out who will stay in the home and who will move out.

If there are children, you’ll need to talk to them and make a plan for custody and/or visitation during the separation. Who will take which car? Who will use which credit cards? How will you fund two households?

You will also have to compromise and agree to stay faithful and not date others during the separation if you want to keep a healthy relationship going.

3. Discuss what to tell friends and family

It’s important to develop a script for how to handle the questions of your loved ones. Tell them what they need to know but no more.

Often, couples make the mistake of over-sharing information and inadvertently creating animosity for their relationship. This makes it tough when the two of you have healed and your family still hates your spouse!

Try something along the lines of, “We’re separating to rebuild. We’re still fully committed to our marriage and will be working hard with a therapist. We hope to have a stronger, happier relationship soon.”

4. Agree on how much will you interact

At the very least, couples will need to see each other in regular therapy appointments. At first, this might be the safest way to see one another. You might also agree to weekly dates or times together with your children. You’ll want to decide how often you want to check in on phone, email, or text.

Make a plan that honors both of your needs for separation and connection. It’s likely that you are probably used to some chaos in the relationship, but now is a good time to slow down and breathe.

If you’re the one that typically pursues your partner, this is a good time for you to pursue other interests and participate in self-care.

5. Wait until you’re both emotionally safe to move back in together

This, of course, is a very important question. Each of you should be able to state what you are looking for to feel emotionally safe enough to live together again. You should be able to see clear progress in your marital therapy, including an ability to communicate about important topics.

You’ll want to feel that you’ve resolved and forgiven those hurts which led up to the separation. You will also want a clear plan about how to handle relationship “hot buttons” before they escalate to deal-breaking problems.

I have worked and continue to work with many couples who have taken a break from their marital woes by separating. Those who have consciously structured the boundaries of their time apart have emerged with healthier, stronger relationships.

It may not be right for everyone, but handled well, a separation could just save your marriage.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Hunt’s Pier – Chapter 10 – End of an Era

Philadelphia, PA to Wildwood, NJ – 2009

I awakened in my apartment in Philadelphia with my girlfriend Allison. We had been together for over a year and had moved in together. Christmas was over and it was the end of January.

We got some breakfast, hopped in my car, and drove to Wildwood on that bitter cold January morning. January 30th to be exact.

After the hour and a half drive, we parked on Schellinger Avenue in Wildwood. We bundled up and headed for the boardwalk. Being from Delaware, I don’t think Michelle had ever gone to Wildwood in the summer growing up. 

We trudged up the ramp that led to the boardwalk and a flood of memories came back to me. We stepped onto Hunt’s Pier. It no longer looked like it did back in its heyday. Granted, it was winter and the pier was shut down until summer, but it was a stark model of a once-thriving, living entity. 

The angry cold sun shone brightly in the clear blue sky as we met up with my sister near the back of the pier near what was once a place I described as the greatest job I ever had. It was an emotional day. Nearly 2000 people had gathered to witness the event.

We had long lines of people waiting to get on the ride back in the day, but I wasn’t expecting this.

People gathered in front of, and on the old platform where I held so many rich memories. As I stood looking upon my paragon, I felt like an anachronism. 

The proclamation from the City of Wildwood that officially declared January 30th “Golden Nugget Day” cited the estimated 1.7 million adventure-seekers who enjoyed the landmark over its nearly four decades of operation.

The iconic centerpiece of Hunt’s Pier, the Golden Nugget Mine Ride was a hybrid dark ride/steel roller coaster attraction that changed the landscape of the Jersey Shore’s amusement scene when it debuted in the Spring of 1960.

Designed by John C. Allen of the Philadelphia Toboggan Company and produced in conjunction with the renowned outfit and the skilled Hunt’s staff (led by general manager Vince Kostek), the Nugget evolved into a bona fide landmark over time.

It would thrive during the “Oceanic Wonderland” and Wildwood’s glory years of the 60s and 70s, then survive through several post-Hunt’s incarnations and a dinosaur-theme adoption, running for the final time in 1999.

Its impressive frame, built to resemble a western mountain with a mining outpost and shafts built-in, was hollowed out to accommodate a farewell ceremony hosted by the Morey Organization on Saturday, January 31, 2009.

A sad day indeed.

The weathered structure was demolished shortly after. Its track system and trains were acquired by Knoebels Amusement Resort in Elysburg, PA, where its legacy lives on in the form of the Black Diamond.

 

Things in this life come and go. Friends, family, and loved ones appear in our lives and eventually, our time here is scattered by the sad wings of destiny.

Hunt’s Pier.

Twilight is upon it now.

Night will fall, and with it… The Golden Nugget Mine Ride.

It seems fitting…

Slipping into oblivion to the lilt of rippling waves.

All that remains are the memories of what once was. It’s really all we have as people. Memories we can wrap ourselves in for the rest of our lives.

But sometimes, you’ll hear that familiar cry of a lone seagull… and as those memories return…

You smile.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

If you think this is over, it’s not. I have one more thing to say next week.