Thanksgiving Tradition

Happy Thanksgiving!

Here’s one from 2016

My family has always celebrated Thanksgiving, but Christmas was always our big holiday. I’m always welcome at my older sister Janice’s house every year. She has a big house and we refer to her place as Holiday Headquarters. There was one year many years ago when I was invited to go to my other sister Gabrielle’s house all the way down in North Wildwood, New Jersey. Back then I was newly divorced, and I just didn’t feel like making the drive all the way down there. My daughter was little then and with her Mom and that side of the family for Thanksgiving. I was just happy that my ex-wife was out of the house and out of my life for that matter. I was looking forward to a day of listening to music, watching movies, and eating and drinking. I like to be alone. I’m a very social animal, and I get my energy from those around me, but I just wanted a day of sweet nothing and solitude.

I lived in Woodbury, NJ back then. I drove over to the local convenient store and picked up a box of frozen Ellio’s Pizza. It’s a cheap and tasty treat I have loved since I was a lad. The lady at the counter says, “I hope you’re not eating that for Thanksgiving!” I coolly replied, “Oh, no. My daughter loves these things. I always keep them in for her.” (a bald-faced lie)

That night I happily sat on my sofa watching some cool movies, drinking Ketel One vodka and tonics, and eating my delicious Ellio’s Pizza. I had a nice, quiet Thanksgiving. I was grateful to have a family that cared about me and most of all that little Lorelei was in the world.

So I joked around with my sisters about that day, and of course, they felt bad for me. They didn’t want me eating frozen pizza and drinking liquor by myself on Thanksgiving, but that’s what I really wanted to do that day. So it’s sort of becoming a family joke every year for Thanksgiving. It came up again this year when I declined my sister’s invitation. It’s not that I didn’t want to see her, but I’ve seen her a lot lately, and my parents have passed, so what’s the point? Once the main anchors of a family die, usually the children retreat to their own little families. She understood and we’ll all get together at her annual holiday party in December at Holiday Headquarters.

I went to the Midtown Diner and had a huge breakfast at the counter. Scrambled eggs, bacon, and french toast. It’s too much food, but I crushed it all and it was delicious. I went back to my house and did some writing. Lorelei escaped the clutches of having to spend Thanksgiving with her mother. She went to her boyfriend’s mother’s house. She’s a hard-core vegan and made some really creative dishes. I’m glad she’s happy and I’m sure they were glad to have her there for the holiday.

I finished a chapter and wanted to get something to eat around 4:30. I left the house and walked down to South street. Everything was closed, but I didn’t feel like going into Walgreens where I’d have to get something to heat up or bake in the oven. Then I looked to the left and remembered there was a new 7-Eleven a block away.

I stopped in and was surprised at all of the people in there buying stuff. Maybe I could start a little Thanksgiving club with them. They could come over with a load of 7-Eleven food and I’d supply the booze. I picked up some things and headed back to the house.

The city was deserted. Dark and eerily quiet because everybody was off doing their family things. I got home, went to my desk, and fired up an old episode of Columbo on Netflix. I poured myself a vodka and club soda. I don’t drink Ketel One anymore at home. Too expensive. I only have it out now in a martini, straight up with a twist. My current brand is Platinum X7 by Sazerac. A 1.75 bottle is $20. My favorite thing to mix it with is Polar club soda with lemon that I buy by the liter at Walgreens. I tore open the small bag of Lay’s potato chips. Then opened the box that contained the quarter-pound 7-Eleven hot dog, and spread mustard along its length.

Changed it up this year! Wanted to send a pic to all of my sisters but decided against it.

A man who can sit in a room alone and be satisfied is a man who has found inner peace.” – My Dad

 

 

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Women Can Tell You’re Insecure if You Do These Things

As we continue to have more complex conversations about what it means to be a man today, the more our old-fashioned ideas of masculinity come into question. In a recent thread on Reddit, women started sharing some of the things that they’ve noticed straight guys do that are meant to show how manly they are… and how these traits more often than not just betray their insecurities.

Feigning ignorance of things considered “beneath” them is a common one, especially when it comes to pop culture. “My slightly older coworker never misses a chance to mention he doesn’t know who Drake is or what Snapchat is because he likes to hate on the younger generation as much as possible,” reads one comment. “It’s super cringy.”

This lack of knowledge is almost always fueled by some form of elitism, and among guys often extends to an exaggerated ignorance of all things “girly.” As one commenter recalls: “I had a friend who basically had a whole performance to show how little he knew about makeup, nail polish, or clothing. I don’t expect people to know a ton about makeup, but pretending you barely know what lipstick is takes things a bit far.”

While such feigned cluelessness sounds silly, it can also be some pretty regressive ideas about gender roles. This is especially harmful if that aversion to feminine-coded things is passed down from parent to child. “I work in a childcare and there are always dads who get super insecure when their son wants something pink or girly,” said one commenter. “I got chewed out because one kid begged me to let him wear the pink pull-ups instead of the boy ones. His dad was so mad at me. Like I was trying to turn his son gay or into a ‘sissy’ or something like that. Your kid picked them out, not me!”

Perpetuating sexist or misogynist behavior doesn’t just let down the next generation, it also holds back the guys doing it, says one commenter, who bemoans the idea of men policing each other’s masculinity: “When they avoid something they enjoy (or would likely enjoy based on other things they also like) because they’re worried about how others will judge their manliness if they do. When they do things they clearly hate/resent because they’re afraid their manliness will be called into question if they don’t. Whenever they judge other men for doing things that aren’t manly. When they get irrationally upset at somehow being exposed to something “girly” even if by accident (freaking out about using the wrong shampoo for instance).”

Another misguided, toxic masculine idea is that being an “alpha” is all about domination and making others look weak.

“Genuine leaders don’t tear anyone down, they don’t try to make themselves look big either,” reads one comment on this topic. “People respect them for the way they act towards others and follow them because of it.”

 

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Romantic Thanksgiving Date Ideas

A lot of people believe that Thanksgiving isn’t Thanksgiving unless you spend it stuffing yourself silly with food, surrounded by annoying uncles and aunts. But for couples without children or whose families are far away, Thanksgiving can be a wonderful opportunity to spend some romantic time together without distractions. So skip all of the stress this Thanksgiving and plan a special day for just the two of you with one of the ideas below.

Cook a meal together for two

While playing hostess to your in-laws and simultaneously cooking a Thanksgiving meal for 10 may seem like a recipe for a panic attack, cooking a turkey together with your best guy is filled with sexy opportunities. Envision sipping wine together as you stir the cranberry sauce and let your imagination run wild!

Have someone cook a meal for you

For those of you who think cooking is a chore rather than a delight, there’s nothing like enjoying a Thanksgiving dinner out on the town. Simply make a reservation, show-up and voila! While other women are spending the day slaving over a stove, you and your man can enjoy all of the pleasures of eating a five-course, candle-lit meal with none of the work.

Stay at a B&B

Holidays are so few and far between, why not extend your Thanksgiving into a Thanks-weekend and spend four days being thankful you’re not at home?

Go somewhere warm

Or even better, chuck the idea of a traditionally chilly Thanksgiving and relax the weekend away, basking in the sun at a tropical resort. The trees may not change color in Florida or the Bahamas, but there is still a lot of holiday cheer to be found there.

Watch a parade

You don’t even need to go anywhere to enjoy a romantic Thanksgiving. Sipping hot chocolate and holding hands together while watching a local parade can be just as lovely.

Or snuggle on the couch

Don’t even get dressed! Thanksgiving is one holiday that’s made for sleeping in, so don’t hesitate to ignore that alarm for once. You can always TiVo the parade and watch it later.

Volunteer at a soup kitchen

For couples in pursuit of the true meaning of Thanksgiving, soup kitchens and charity organizations are always in need of volunteers on the holiday when attendance is even higher than usual.

Go see a movie

One of my favorite Thanksgiving traditions is going out to the movies with my boyfriend, just the two of us.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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10 Ways to Woo a Girl the Right Way

The early days of dating are always the fun part. It’s where you can’t stop thinking about your girl and how you can make her happy. From flowers to chocolates and balloons, you have a lot of plans that are guaranteed to put a smile on her face.

However, as courtship ends, you feel less and less enthusiastic about wooing her. And that’s where problems happen and relationships break apart.

To keep your relationship in the best condition, here are some tips on how to woo a girl:

1. Be Genuine

We live in a world wherein being genuine has become such a rare quality. People are always being fake, pretending to be someone they’re not in order to impress the girl. Just think of online social media platforms where single men and women create “images” of themselves.

In-person though, a discerning eye can tell real people from fakes. Be genuine and be appreciated for who you truly are.

2. Be chivalrous

I would strongly like to believe that chivalry isn’t dead. Be polite, open doors, walk on the traffic side of the road, and escort her and her friend’s home.

You may think these are small things but these small gestures will never go unnoticed. It’s not that she can’t do these things by herself but it is always good to know that there is someone who’s looking out for her.

3. Give her your undivided attention

Get off that mobile phone of yours when you are with her. You will have plenty of time to check game scores or reply to your messages and emails when you are home. Unless it is extremely urgent, it will always be appreciated if you can give your phones a rest and give your undivided attention to her.

4. Notice her and likes & dislikes

Always take mental notes of her likes and dislikes and surprise her when she least expects it. Take her to her favorite concert, order her favorite drink when she’s running late, notice when she gets a haircut or wears something different.

She will really appreciate the fact that you are taking a keen interest in her and what she likes, and it will make her feel very happy.

5. Be there when she needs someone

You sure as hell don’t need to be a girl’s doormat but you definitely want to be her shoulder to cry on when she needs it. If she needs someone by her side, make sure it’s you. It will show her how committed, dependable, and serious you are about having her in your life and wanting to be in hers.

6. Don’t keep talking about yourself, learn to listen

No one likes a person who only talks about themselves and shows no interest in learning about the other person. If you are only going to keep bragging about yourself and your life, rest assured she will not turn to give you another look. Show a real interest in getting to know her better; it will take you a long way.

7. Make her feel special

If she is having a bad day, let her vent to you and be supportive about it. In fact, all you probably need to do is to listen.

Remember small dates like the first time you’ve met or the first time you took her out on a date. Make an effort to celebrate these with her. Do whatever is in your power to make her feel loved and cherished.

8. Keep that element of surprise

Now that you have learned about what makes her happy, surprise her by using that information to your advantage. If she has a fantasy of a perfect date, make it happen for her. If she’s feeling low, show up on her doorstep to take her for a drive. Keep the element of surprise alive in order to keep her wondering and the excitement going.

9. Let her know that you are thinking about her

Drop her a message in the middle of the workday to check how her day is going or pick her up from work so that you’ll get that extra 30 minutes to spend together. Message her good morning first thing when you wake up or send her flowers or any small memento that makes you think of her.

Whatever big or small it may be, show her that you are thinking about her.

10. Open up to her

Many men are brought up to avoid being vulnerable in front of the girl. However, think about it. You only open up in front of people you truly care about and are truly comfortable with. If you talk about your fears or your problems or what makes you sad, it will show her that you are really invested in her and are not there just to pass your time.

We live in a world where women are strong and independent. They don’t need a man to be able to provide for them. They don’t need someone who can pay for a date. They are more than capable of doing that themselves.

Instead, how about a man who can treat them right because somehow that breed has become very rare in the 21st century. Make her feel loved and special. Always think of being in the wooing phase even after being in a stable relationship for a while.

This way you will never take each other for granted. Often, spontaneity is the key to a happy relationship. Be on your toes and keep her on hers. In turn, she will surprise you with her love and loyalty as well.

As Marilyn Monroe says, “A girl doesn’t need anyone who doesn’t need her.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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The Big Flamingo

Wildwood, New Jersey – 1971

This little story takes place a year after my father bought the house at the shore in Wildwood. It was a magical time. We were the only kids I knew that had a shore house and could disappear from the neighborhood in Philly for the entire summer. I remember when I would come home at the end of August my friend RJ didn’t even recognize me at first. “All I saw was this kid with a brown face with white hair!” That’s how tan we all were when we got home after spending July and August on the beach.

Undated Travel Souvenir Brochure Boat Cruises Capt George Sinns Big Flamingo NJ - Advintage Plus

My family obviously wanted to take advantage of all of the wonderful activities the seashore had to offer. The boardwalk, with is wonderful amusement rides and games of chance, the beach, Winterwood, Cape May, mini-golf, and movies.

One day I was probably working on the architectural design of some elaborate sandcastle with my dad and sisters. This cool refurbished blue PT boat cruised by out beyond the waves. I asked my father about it and he told me it was an old warship converted into a sightseeing boat.

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It looked fun, but there was an even bigger boat that did tours through the inland waterway and out into the ocean for the tourists. That was the Big Flamingo.  I always thought it was called the pink flamingo because of its obvious color, but that’s the real name.

1980 Capt. Sinn's Big Flamingo Sightseeing Cruiser Boat Wildwood Crest NJ PC | eBay

I wanted to take a ride on the pink one because it was bigger and looked cooler. I remember reading about it in a brochure we had lying around the house. The tri screw, twin-engine sounded like the more powerful ship. I wasn’t a fan of heights or deep water so the bigger boat just seemed safer to me.

Capt. George Sinn’s “Big Flamingo”. The Wildwoods’ largest sightseeing cruiser – the 85 foot triple Diesel Air Sea Rescue boat, the former P444, sails 10:30 A.M. – 2:00 P.M. – 7:00 P.M. daily from Sinn’s Dock, Cardinal Road, and Park Boulevard, Wildwood Crest, New Jersey.

So dad took us out on the Big Flamingo one evening. My mom didn’t go because she stayed home with baby Gabrielle. I also believe like me, my mom didn’t like feeling dizzy or off balance. We both ate Dramamine for long car rides and always felt a little nauseous when it came to any kind of weird motion.

Illness caused by motion during travel. Travel by car, air, or boat all can cause motion sickness. Motion sickness usually goes away when the motion stops. Symptoms include fatigue, uneasiness, dizziness, and vomiting.
Focusing the eyes on objects straight ahead may help. Avoid overeating, alcohol, and smoking before travel. Oral or patch medications can prevent or treat symptoms.

I remember she once told me that she went out to a restaurant with my dad at a nice restaurant near a harbor. She said she could see the boats going up and down outside the window and she started feeling seasick. We were the same when it came to any unstable movement in our surroundings.

But Dramamine never came into play when thoughts of going out on a huge ship that toured the bay and then a little bit out into the ocean and back. Me, Janice, April and my dad all went on the cruise and it was amazing! It was the first time I’d ever been on a boat and it was super fun! Another great tradition was born for our summers in Wildwood!

Here’s a cute little song to go with the above story.

 

Wildwood, New Jersey – 1972

Wildwood NJ BIG FLAMINGO boat cruise showcard original | #42663641

Here we are a year later and one of the things we kids definitely wanted to do was get back on the Big Flamingo! Capt. Sinn’s giant tour boat docked back in Otten’s Harbor.

So, one fine evening we all headed over there to board the boat for another cool adventure.

Off we go on the boat and it cruises along in the bay through the inland waterway. It was a lovely evening as the sun set over the grassy sound. Good times!

As we rounded the southwestern point of the island, down around Diamond Beach beyond Wildwood Crest, we entered the Atlantic Ocean. This was the best part of the tour. As twilight approached, the ship headed northward, and if you looked off to your left you could see the whole boardwalk. It was a dazzling vision of lights, amusement rides, and music. Probably the best view of Wildwood at night from afar. A view you’d never get to see as a kid.

My favorite spot to stand on the deck was in the absolute front of the bow. It was the best place to be on the ship. You really experienced the power of the ship cutting through the ocean.

But what began to happen was completely unexpected. The ship began to encounter ground swells. A groundswell is a long-period group of waves created by a distant storm system over long distances, at least 2,000 miles away from the coast. The majority of groundswells are produced by mid-latitude depressions between 30 and 60 degrees, and travel from west to east, swinging towards the Equator.

No one told me this could happen, but there was no way anyone could have known what was happening. What this means is, instead of the big ship cruising along placidly in the sea, it begins to go up and down in a sickening repetitive movement. Not little rolling waves. I’m talking this huge ship goes up two stories and then comes back down, causing a jarring feeling in your stomach. This happens over, and over, and over again. This is how people become seasick. It’s a normal occurrence, but being a kid I was absolutely terrified.

My dad told me to stay where I was and just ride it out. I think what made it so horrifying for me was, last year I had a great time. I felt safe and had a wonderful time. Now I was stuck on a boat in the ocean and it felt like it was out of control. It doesn’t matter how big the boat is, it’s simply no match for the power of the sea. If it wants to toss you around, it’s going to. There’s nothing you can do but ride it out.

Apparently, people were getting sick all over the boat. At least I wasn’t alone. My dad and sister Janice were close by, but it was the unexpected, trapped feeling that gripped me. That was the worst part. It was a sudden horror that washed over me again and again.

The captain turned the ship around halfway through the tour and headed back to the bay. We had nearly made it back into the calm water of the bay when I began vomiting. I just chundered right over the side. The wind was blowing, and I remember my dad trying to catch the blowback of my technicolor yawn with his hands. He just didn’t want my puke to splash back on the other guests. (Always the respectful gentleman)

I felt a bit better when we finally got back to the dock, but was badly shaken by this experience. I had always had anxiety since I was little and this sort of event really rattled my psyche. My sister Janice was fine and I think April was okay as well, but I felt a bit shattered after that event. My mind went from trusting a fun event that turned into a terrifying, embarrassing nightmare the second time around.

These are the type of wacky events you laugh off after they happen and you simply chalk them up to, “well, that was awful.”

But the next morning I woke up with an anxiety attack. I didn’t know what anxiety was back then. I was just overcome with sudden fear again. People who don’t suffer from anxiety simply don’t understand. They’re all fine the next day. Me… basket case. That feeling of losing control or going crazy. Heart palpitations or chest pain. Feeling like you’re going to pass out. Trouble breathing or choking sensations are all part of those types of attacks.

It actually traumatized me. I didn’t want to get out of bed. I felt nauseous. I felt fear. I didn’t want to go to the beach, or near any kind of water. It was an overwhelming post-traumatic terror I had never felt before. But of course, nobody else understands it because they aren’t afflicted with that sort of chemical makeup in their brains. It really sucks.

But my mom was very understanding and just let me take it easy for a couple of days around the house and neighborhood. My mom and I shared some of the same fears and it runs in our side of the family. On the other hand, my father and sister Janice are more stable and they simply go forward. Little April was unaffected by it all because she’s simply tough.

After a few days, my father wanted to take us over to a spot called Dad’s Place Marina. It was a great spot to go with family & friends. Everybody knew about the place but I had never been there. I had heard it was a neat place to go fishing and especially crabbing. I had never gone crabbing but it sounded like a fun thing to do.

My dad had found a couple of old metal rusty crab traps in the storage room behind the house. He asked me if I wanted to go. He said it was just a dock on the bay, and I could walk back onto the shore any time I wanted. I liked the idea of the escape route and agreed to go with him and Janice.  So my mom took April and baby Gabby to the beach and we drove over to Dad’s place in our VW minibus.

When we got out there, my dad bought a couple of new crab traps and some squid for bait and we were good to go. Crabbing is a very passive activity and it’s probably what I needed to overcome my fear of the water and acclimate myself to being near it.

Dad’s Place

1950s/60s Good Fishing and Crabbing, Dad's Place, Wildwood, NJ Postcard / HipPostcard

It turned out to be a fun day, and we caught lots of blue point crabs. (Those are the ones you want for eating, not those little spotted ones that grab your toe in the surf.) It was fun to drop the trap off the edge of the dock on its line and simply wait. After a while, you’d pull it up periodically to check your trap. Sometimes you’d have a crab or two. I even caught a tiny sea robin in mine! I was shocked you could catch a fish with a crab trap.

So, the trip to Dad’s Place and the day of crabbing with my sister and father, sort of reset me. After that, I was fine and resumed trips to the beach and playing in the ocean.

But I never set foot on that goddamn Big Flamingo ever again!

And… here’s a song that seems appropriate for what happened above.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

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13 Types of Men You Shouldn’t Date if You’re Looking for True Love

Not to call out men, but some of them suck. So, ladies, here are the types of men you shouldn’t date and fend off heartbreak.

Here’s another one submitted to me by a female reader. Thought it worth sharing…

Thank you, Sylvia!

Take it from someone who has dated her fair share of the types of men you shouldn’t date. If I can prevent you from going through what I did I will do everything in my power to make that happen.

Ladies, we are smart. We know what we want. But, we are not perfect and we often let men get into our hearts and mess with our minds. It isn’t our fault. I blame it on biology.

For any men reading this, I do NOT mean all men. As the title clearly states, this is about certain types of men you shouldn’t date, not all men. With that being said, any man who ever questions something you say with, “not all men,” is probably a type of man you shouldn’t date.

There are types of men you shouldn’t date?

As open-minded as I like to consider myself to be, yes, there are types of men you shouldn’t date. There are types of men you shouldn’t even get near. And yes, ladies, there are types of women that men shouldn’t date too. 

Is this a punishment for people that mistreat us? Not exactly, it is self-preservation. It is a way to protect ourselves from trauma before it happens. I know that we cannot prevent heartbreak. It will happen to the best of us.

But we can prevent unnecessary heartbreak and pain that was avoidable. There are men that should not be allowed to date us. They should be forced to wear a sign that says, “do not date me.” But, since that isn’t a law *yet*, we will have to do the work to weed out the bad ones ourselves.

Types of men you shouldn’t date

I hope I didn’t scare you too much, but just enough to focus on you. Women should not have to put up with men that mistreat us. But, there will always be some of us who get swept up or stuck in manipulation.

This is for those of you on the lookout for types of men you shouldn’t date and those who aren’t sure at all what to look for or where to look. Everything from red flags to subtle behaviors can pinpoint the types of men you shouldn’t date, so bear with me.

#1 The Procrastinator. A guy that puts off everything until the last minute is not just doing so at work. He pays his bills at the last second or even late. He is generally irresponsible. Not to mention, he cannot make you a priority.

This is the type of guy that promises you will do something great for your anniversary but continues putting it off until you are too old to leave your front porch. You do not want to end up with this guy. So, why date him now? You want a man that can keep his promises.

#2 The Charmer. A charming guy is great. He makes you less nervous. He knows the exact right thing to say and exactly when to say it. And that is what makes him so dangerous. I’m going to pull from Disney for this metaphor, but remember Frozen? Well, Hans is this guy.

And Anna’s lack of knowledge about men she shouldn’t date almost led to the downfall of Arendelle. Before getting sucked into the charm of a man like this, remember you don’t want a guy who is perfect. If he is, he is hiding something. You want a guy that is real.

This a real-life Kristoff. He may have some quirks and woes, but he cares and is there for you.

#3 The Generalizer. This is my personal favorite. This is what I dealt with for four-plus years. So I am an expert on this type of man you shouldn’t date. This is the guy that sort of says the right thing. You like him, and you think he likes you but are never quite sure.

He gives you just enough hope to stick around, but never enough to feel confident in the relationship. He doesn’t call you his girlfriend or introduce you to his friends or family, but he does show signs he likes you.

If he cannot be straightforward with you one way or another, it will never go anywhere past his confusion, so get out now, before you are too hooked. 

#4 The Love Bomber. A love bomber is dangerous. This is someone that rushes into things really quickly. This is someone that says I love you early. They spoil you and treat you how you always wanted to be treated. Sound great, right?

No. A love bomber is on the hunt for someone looking for acceptance and wants to be validated, and they do that. They love bomb you and smother you with amazingness so that you crave that feeling. And they do it just long enough to trap you.

Then another side of them comes out. The bomb goes off so to speak and this love bomber can become controlling, abusive, and even violent. This is a master manipulator. So, look out for a guy who loves too much, too fast. He cannot love you if he doesn’t know you.

#5 The Avoider. Much like the procrastinator this man is emotionally juvenile. He may like you, you may have a great time together, but anytime you want to take a step forward he avoids it like the plague.

He will make excuses not to meet your friends or family. He won’t make room for your toothbrush and and extra set of underwear at his place. He is pretty much avoiding commitment. Think of him as Chandler Bing from Friends before Monica.

He has potential, but you deserve better. You do not want to be his Janice.

#6 The Secret Keeper. A guy who keeps secrets cannot be trusted. Relationships are not just about communication, but honesty. And if he is shady, there is a reason for it. Ladies, we have a sixth sense, we can smell when something fishy is going on.

Instead of second-guessing yourself, second guess him. Do not go through his drawers or his phone. I am not telling you to be a crazy jealous person. Instead, confront this guy. Ask him for straight answers to the things he has been hiding. If he cannot be upfront with you, you can do better.

#7 The Pathological Liar. My most recent ex was this guy. For the longest time, I rolled my eyes and kept on dating him. He was a pathological liar. And this isn’t someone who lies about cheating necessarily, but about everything.

At first, he told me he got into a prestigious school and had this awesome job. When I found out it wasn’t true I didn’t push, I assumed he was just trying to impress me and moved on. But these small fibs and random and almost pointless lies continued.

For a while, it just seemed like this odd yet harmless thing to me until I uncovered some truths about his past. The lies carried into every aspect of him and our relationship. If someone lies with no purpose, they have no problem lying to anyone. 

#8 The Cheater. ALERT! ALERT! Once a cheater always a cheater is not just a saying. This person has a track record. You wouldn’t take a job with a CEO that has a history or embezzlement, so why date a man that has a history of being dishonest?

We all hope we can be the one that he will stay with and won’t cheat on. We even tell ourselves we are the real deal and the other girls are just for sex. But do we believe that? Even if we did, we deserve better. We deserve a man that is loyal and devoted.

If you know he cheated before, calculate your risk. If he cheated once in high school or college and regrets it, go in with caution. But if he has cheated in the last three years, turn the other way. This is the type of man you want to avoid.

#9 The Misogynist. If he doesn’t treat women equally, he won’t treat you equally. If he is only respectful to women he finds attractive and not anyone else, he is a misogynist.

No matter how much good you see in him and how successful or funny he is, a misogynist will never let you soar. He will never let you do better than him. He will not consider your feelings or opinions. He may be damn good at pretending, but a misogynist is not a man, he is a coward.

#10 The Green-Eyed Monster. Jealousy is ugly, my friend. We all get a taste of envy once in a while and that is normal, but when it gets out of hand, you shut it down. I, myself, had trust issues due to past relationships. And I knew I needed to take a step back from dating or else I would be a jealous mess.

As someone who has dealt with this personally, I can tell you someone who is jealous was likely burned in the past. This doesn’t mean you should feel sorry for them and let them control your life. It means, if you like them, give them a chance to get over their trust issues on their own.

If they are jealous either way, you do not need that in your life. Jealousy doesn’t just drive them nuts, but it drives you nuts. You want to prove you are honest and loyal, but shouldn’t have to. Jealousy means there is no trust, and you cannot date someone that doesn’t trust you.

#11 The Hulk. A man who has anger issues is the type of man you shouldn’t date. This is a man that cannot control himself. Whether he punches walls or gets in fights in bars, there is no saying if or when that anger will make its way back to you.

Save yourself the trouble. There are plenty of not violent men out there that are still passionate.

#12 The Dude. The man that is a child is not the man for you. You should not have to care for the man you’re dating. If he can’t hold down a job, do his own laundry, and cook at least three different meals, he needs to grow up.

A man who is lazy in life is lazy in love. 

#13 The Ghost. The Simba of twenty-first-century humans. This is the man that disappears without a trace. Maybe you chatted for a week, maybe you went on a great date, maybe you have been dating for months, then he just dropped off the face of the earth.

No one is unreachable in this day and age. He is making the choice not to talk to you and not to answer you. Whether he haunts your Instagram or keeps up on your Snapchat, he is not interested in you at the level you deserve. Even if he comes back to life and messages you, he does not deserve your attention.

There are men out there with the respect to actually talk to you, find one of them.

It may take a little longer to find your Prince Charming when you cut out the types of men you shouldn’t date, but it is well worth it!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

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Tales of Rock: Michael Jackson Impersonator Amazes Fans with Uncanny Resemblance to the Late Singer

Viral video of Micheal Jackson’s impersonator on Instagram has left fans in shock and according to most people, the resemblance is truly scary. 

Celebrity impersonator Sergio Cortes’s uncanny resemblance to the late pop star Michael Jackson is jaw-dropping.

Sergio Cortez is one of Michael’s many impersonators, unlike the others who go to grave lengths to achieve this similarity, Sergio has never had to go under the knife for cosmetic surgery to modify his facial appearance, its all-natural.

The late pop star has the second-highest number of impersonators to his name after Elvis Presley, each trying to outdo the other, but only Sergio comes close.

Over the years, Sergio had to consistently practice moves and undergo voice training to perfect his craft. In the now-viral video posted on his Instagram page, Sergio shared the details of a show holding in Thailand on December 23.

Michael Jackson at the Santa Barbara County courthouse April 29, 2005 | Photo: Getty Images

Michael Jackson at the Santa Barbara County courthouse April 29, 2005 | Photo: Getty Images

He captioned it: “Thayiland Dec 23 😊♥️” Sergio’s fans who were in awe reacted with their comments. A fan, who wants to experience him perform, had this to say:

“I hope you can come to China. Do you have plans?”

Another wrote:

“the Michael Jackson number 2. Amazing, the best impersonator of Michael Jackson.”

Reactions have continued to trail the video as Micheal’s fans worldwide have been in disbelief at the uncanny resemblance. A twitter user shared Sergio’s video and pictures. She wrote:

“Instant double-take when you see Sergio, aka Michael Jackson. Sergio Cortes looks so much like Michael Jackson, and it’s scary.”

Twitter users also chronicled their thoughts in the comment section. One tweep wrote:

“This freaked me out. I had to say..ok He isn’t still alive..#RIP MJ.”

Another tweep who was surprised at the resemblance wrote:

“OMGGGGG wowww 😮 He looks so much like Michael and I never have said that about anyone.”

Sergio graces invitations to Micheal Jackson’s tribute shows, where he puts out a stellar performance.

Although no one captures the crowd like Michael Jackson, Sergio’s performances come a close second as he dedicates time to his craft.

A look at his Instagram posts shows he has been invited to several “Michael Jackson tribute shows” across the world. He also has a YouTube page where he posts videos of his performances.

Sergio’s fan base is slowly increasing as he gets invited to talk shows and trailed by paparazzi.

Celebrity impersonators are professional lookalikes of celebrities. This impersonators grace events and act the path in exchange for money and fame.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

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8 Scientifically Proven Ways to Become a More Attractive Man

For most men, being attractive is extremely important. Being pleasant to look at can also play a major role in how successful a man becomes. After all, as the old saying goes; look good, feel good. Meaning that if you are confident in your appearance, you become more confident overall. Thanks to some research from Men’s Health and IFLScience, here are a few science-backed ways to become a more attractive man.

GROW A BEARD

Growing a beard is the basically one of the best things you can do for yourself, a study from the University of New South Wales found that, to women, the most attractive men are those who have heavy stubble. “Facial hair correlates not only with maturity and masculinity, but also with dominance and aggression,” the authors, Barnaby J. Dixson and Robert C. Brooks, wrote. “An intermediate level of beardedness is most attractive.”

WEAR SUNGLASSES

Ever wondered why sunglasses suddenly make anyone more attractive? Vanessa Brown, a lecturer at Nottingham Trent University, has a few explanations. First of all, sunglasses make you mysterious, which is always sexy. “The eyes are such a tremendous source of information-and vulnerability-for the human being,” she told The Cut. Furthermore, sunglasses also cover up any facial asymmetry, which also makes you attractive since facial symmetry is important.

HOLD YOUR CHIN UP, LITERALLY

According to a study titled “Facial Attractiveness: Evolutionary Based Research,” women find secondary sex characteristics, like a large jawbone and defined cheekbones, super sexy on men, because they suggest genetic strength, high testosterone levels, and masculinity. And we all know masculine men are sexy. That said, tilting your face up a little bit and holding your chin high highlights your jaw and cheekbones, as well as psychologically makes you seem more dominant, both of which make you look attractive.

BE AN ACTUAL NICE GUY

study conducted at the University of Guelph and Nipissing University asked 800 people about their sexual history, as well as how likely they were to engage in selfless acts, such as charity work and donating blood, in order to understand if there was a correlation between altruism and the amount of sex people have. The study found that people who were more selfless had more sex and dated more people than those who were selfish.

HAVE OPEN BODY POSTURE

A study from the U.K. found that men who have open, dominant body language and sit with open body posture-meaning legs spread and arms stretched out-are seen as more attractive than those who don’t.

LOOK PROUD

A 2011 University of British Columbia study found that the most attractive facial and body expression was that of pride, and bafflingly, the least attractive was happiness. A truly interesting and frankly odd revelation, but OK. With that said, look proud when you’re talking to women…or any other time, for that matter. It’ll do wonders for your life.

WALK CONFIDENTLY

Aside from looking proud, another physical mechanism you should perfect is your stance, because ladies love a man who looks confident, stands confident, and walks confidently. Self-confidence is, after all, one of the first things people notice about you. According to R. Don Steele, author of Body Language Secrets: A Guide During Courtship & Dating, “Confident people are not in a hurry, but there’s a difference between meandering and walking slowly with purpose. Always walk as if you know what you’re doing and where you’re going.”

TAKE CARE OF YOUR TEETH

Lastly, let’s state the obvious: Having a nice set of teeth is crucial for attractiveness. A study from the University of Leeds and University of Central Lancashire found that teeth are “the human equivalent of a peacock’s tail.” So, brush, floss, whiten, do whatever you need to do to get your smile looking absolutely amazing.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

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4 Mantras To Recite Before Breaking Up With Someone, So You Can Let Go

There are few things harder than making the decision to end a relationship, especially when your partner doesn’t see it coming. Regardless of what your reasons might be for the breakup, you may catch yourself second-guessing and questioning your decision. What if you’re making the wrong choice? What if you’re not as happy without them? Dwelling on these questions may make you spiral, so in order to keep your head above water, it’s helpful to have a few mantras to recite before breaking up with someone.

Now that cuffing season is officially in full swing, it can be easy to get caught up in the idea of being in a relationship. Having a special someone to come home to and marathon cringeworthy Hallmark movies with can provide a huge source of comfort during the holiday season. However, this time of year, some people may feel more inclined to stay in a relationship that they know deep down isn’t totally fulfilling them. If you fall into this category, you may be dragging your feet when you know your connection is at a dead-end, and sometimes, you just gotta rip the band-aid off. To help you do that, here are some mantras to keep in mind.

I fully trust myself and my instincts.

Reflection of a young attractive caucasian woman looking to mirror. Wearing casual, beautiful blue eyes, serious look. Indoors, copy space.

Shutterstock

If you’ve been going in circles trying to decide whether or not to break up with someone, it can feel almost impossible to get out of your own head and look at things objectively. There’s always going be what-ifs and unanswered questions, but the key is to have faith in yourself and your instincts. This is especially important to keep in mind if the breakup isn’t mutual, and your ex-partner tries to convince you that things are better with them than without them.

Nicole Richardson, a licensed counselor and marriage and family therapist, recommends taking a step back and remembering why you wanted to do this in the first place. “It is important to have a list of all the reasons you broke up,” she tells Elite Daily. “And remind yourself when your brain starts to play the tape of all the ‘good ol’ times.’”

I’m focused on prioritizing my happiness.

Pain is a given after any breakup, and if you had deep feelings for each other, it may not be an easy transition at first. Because feelings don’t just fade away the day after a breakup, getting to a point where you feel OK again may be hard on both of you. If you’re someone who’s prioritized your partner’s feelings instead of your own in the past, try to switch mindsets and focusing on your own happiness and well-being. Take some time to really think about what makes you happy, whether it’s hanging out with your friends, trying a new workout class, or eating your bodyweight in double-stuff oreos (all three are equally valid options, IMO).

It’s OK to care about someone and move on without them.

This mantra can be the hardest to internalize. When you’re so used to having your life intertwined with someone else’s, it can be extremely difficult to imagine yourself moving on without them, especially if there’s no bad blood between the two of you. Just because you want to go your separate ways doesn’t mean you don’t still care about each other — it can just means that you’re ready to start a new chapter in your life and figure out who you are as an individual.

I deserve to be in a relationship that fulfills me.

We’re all tired of hearing the cliché: “there are plenty more fish in the sea”, but sometimes, it really can help put things in perspective. Currently, there are over 7.5 billion people on this planet, so your odds of finding a relationship that’s fulfilling, exciting, and uplifting are fortunately pretty high. Keep reminding yourself that there’s probably someone better out there, and that you deserve to love and be loved unconditionally.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

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6 Mistakes You Make That Land You In The Friend Zone

The Friend Zone is a place we all have dreaded to visit. But you could accidentally land up just there.

You try to play it cool on the first few dates because you don’t want to be deemed “needy”, “high maintenance”, “aggressive”, or “desperate”.

You make a point at highlighting your common interests. You both like football, you both like the art fair on Sundays, you are both foodies so you stay on that common ground of topics because they are safe and surface and fun and easy to talk about.

At the end of the date, you go “dutch”, hug, say goodbye, and you feel like you had a pretty great date. And it was a great time…for friends.

Where is the romance? What happened to the wooing?

Beware: you very well could be on the brink of falling into the friend zone!

Knowing how to get out of the friend zone is all about setting the precedent from the onset.

Here are the 6 mistakes, each of which could land you in the friend zone:

1. You went “Dutch”.

Do you want a friend, a colleague, a business partner or do you want a relationship partner?

He is paying for dinner. Paying = providing (masculine). Cooking/gifting = nurturing (feminine). We will go more into this (plus alternative ways that the woman can “pay”) in a future article.

2. You talk about fun and surface topics.

If you eventually want the clothes to come off, you’ve got to dig beyond the exterior by being real and getting raw. That’s how you stand out and create a heart connection.

3. You forgot to flirt!

It’s about the little things — the side glance, the “secret smile”, the little touches, and the flirtatious and slightly (but not overtly) sexy comments.

4. You act like a buddy.

Hanging out at sports bars, not putting effort into how you look, going dutch; these are all symptoms of friendships. It’s OK to share the same interests.

Women, it’s OK if you are a huge sports fan. But remember that you are looking for a boyfriend, not a buddy. You can still be sexy and cheer on your favorite team.

5. You think you’re being sarcastic, but you’re actually being a bitch or a jerk.

I know you want to be witty and always have a comeback, and I agree! That banter can be extremely sexy and can be a great technique when it comes to flirting.

But there is a difference between sarcastic and being bitchy or a jerk, and it’s too often confused. Take the edge off. Imagine that they said to you what you said to them.

How does it sound?

6. You’re easy going…too easy going.

You don’t require dates. You just kind of “hang out”. You’re missing the chase and moving right into what you consider to be “relationship mode”. But you’re wrong. You’ve been friend zoned.

Honestly, a lot of it is about gender roles. Be feminine. Be masculine. Be in your gender power!

The more feminine you are, the more masculine he feels. The more masculine you are, the more feminine she feels.

Stop being androgynous. I know. it’s a modern world. But you have more power in your gender role than you ever allowed yourself to embrace.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

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