13 Reasons Why The Older You Are, The More You Hate Everyone

Here’s a post a friend of mine on here sent me. She describes herself as a cranky, jaded introvert. 

But I agree with her on many of these points. I ran into a woman I haven’t seen in probably two years. She looked healthy but seemed exactly the same as she was when I met her over five years ago. Fifteen minutes into the conversation I was already bored. Without the distraction of other people at a bar or the excitement of attending an event, she seemed dull. I’ve come to realize how rampant mental illness is in today’s world.

I believe as we age we need to continually evolve to be better. But I think we can all agree that during this pandemic we really found out who our real friends are.

Anyway… Take it away, Donna!

I used to be one of those girls who was absolutely desperate to be popular, have friends, and be around people.

As I get older, I’ve realized that I’ve turned into a grumpy, crotchety lady who really doesn’t want to be around people.

“Generally, people become more emotionally stable, agreeable, and conscientious as they leave their youth behind,” says Jenn Granneman, author of The Secret Lives of Introverts, “They also become quieter and more self-contained, needing less socializing and excitement to be happy.”

To a point, it’s becoming more of an introvert is a natural process that can’t be helped.

Here’s why you become more introverted and start to hate everyone as you get old — and why I’m OK with turning into a misanthrope.

1. The older you get, the more often people have let you down.

All those Disney songs about having friends who never disappoint you or bail on you clearly haven’t taken into account the majority of the human race.

By the time that you’re 20, you’ve probably been dealt major blows by people you never thought would hurt you, and that makes you really jaded toward people.

2. As you age, the fun of being around people begins to disappear.

Popularity stops being cool when you realize how much money it costs to be popular, and how much of a time-waster it is.

3. You learn over time that people ruin the coolest things.

Ever notice how it only takes one stupid person’s actions to ruin a good thing? Ever notice how many good things get ruined this way?

This is why we can’t have awesome things: stupid people!

4. You find that most people you meet are boring as hell.

Their entire lives revolve around things that aren’t important. They don’t really make you think about anything in particular. They are boring, and there’s a certain point where boring becomes a reason not to talk to them.

If I do hang out with people, I want them to have a real spark inside them, and that just doesn’t really happen too often.

5. You discover that ninety-nine percent of the people you meet are fake.

I hate the fact that most people I’ve met can’t talk about how they really feel, what they’re really going through, or what they honestly think about you.

At the end of the day, most people will sugarcoat things that shouldn’t be sugarcoated, and most people won’t tell you the full truth, even if it’s an absolute necessity.

6. You realize that dealing with people’s drama is exhausting.

I’d rather watch TV.

The drama is more entertaining and it won’t negatively affect me.

7. You find that most get-togethers quickly become incredibly boring.

Let’s face it: most people don’t want to go to those tired dinner parties thrown by their bosses anyway.

8. As years pass, your tolerance for people judging you and telling you what to do shrinks to zero.

People always love to get angry when you don’t live the way they want you to live.

I’m too old to have people judge me, try to control me, or tell me how to live my life. Shouldn’t others be more worried about their lives instead?

9. The longer you’ve been alive, the worse people treat you in general.

When you’re a kid, everyone coos at you and coddles you. When you’re a teenager, everyone hates you. When you’re an adult, everyone hates you and expects you to do stuff for them.

I don’t recall signing up for this BS.

10. By the time you’re 30, you realize that your pets are more mature than the people you regularly talk to.

That might be why I prefer to drink wine with my cats.

11. There’s a certain point where you can’t deal with people’s shallow behavior.

If I was 300 pounds, I could guarantee that men wouldn’t want anything to do with me and that people, in general, would make mean comments about my weight.

Knowing this made me really worn out when it came to talking to people. I don’t want to bother with people who would discard me based on how much I weigh, what I wear, or how I look.

12. People have really messed up expectations about how others should treat them, versus how they treat others.

With most people, manners have gone the way of the dodo, but they have no problem expecting others to be nice to them.

I’m so over it.

13. When push comes to shove, getting older also means that you realize that most people aren’t worth it.

This makes the few people who are worth talking to all the more precious.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Aerosmith – Part 9

Woodbury, NJ – 1997

Still married. Still working in banking, and a one-year-old beautiful daughter in my life.

Anyway… enough of the cuteness. Let’s wrap up this series on my favorite band.

Aerosmith – Nine Lives – 1997

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nine_Lives_(Aerosmith_album)

You’re not going to believe this, but I didn’t buy this album. I heard the song, Pink on MTV but wasn’t thrilled, and thought Fallin’ In Love (Is hard on the knees) was a good song, but overall this is not a good record. But America is still coming in droves. Literally still lining up to date my once beloved. I feel like we broke up years ago. I’ve heard this record in its entirety, and it’s just not worth it.

Woodbury, NJ – 2001

Divorced. New girlfriend. She’s crazy. I’m making more money than ever, but I’m miserable. I didn’t buy this record either.

Aerosmith – Just Push Play

Here’s my full review of this record:

“Just push, eject.” – Charles

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Just_Push_Play

 

West Deptford, NJ – 2004

Still working in finance. Bigger house. More money. More cars. More problems. Kicked my crazy girlfriend out. Child support is killing me. Love my daughter.

Aerosmith – Honkin’ On Bobo – 2004

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honkin%27_on_Bobo

Not a bad blues record because all rock came from the blues. Saw the band on this tour and it was wonderful to see the boys alive and well. But it’s still a blues record. Nothing remarkable here. It’s about over for these guys creatively and artistically.

 

Philadelphia, PA – 2020

I was writing and editing my book, Angel with a Broken Wing that summer and decided to listen to every Aerosmith album in order while I was doing it. It was a fun ride that took a couple of days. I only listened to the classic Aero from the ’70s on occasion. But had never heard this album. Their final studio LP.

Aerosmith – Songs From Another Dimension – 2012

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Music_from_Another_Dimension!

The song Lover Alot sounds like a classic Aerosmith song, but other than that the album is weak. Carrie Underwood cameo? Really guys? Anything by Joe Perry on this album is just trash.

So that’s it. My lovely lion has gone out like a lamb. It’s okay. Everybody hates the Star Wars prequels and we love Star Wars. It’s the same thing. We can’t all be the Beatles, The Rolling Stones, or Led Zeppelin. In the end, we’re all just a bunch of old guys who had a load of fun in our youth, and Aerosmith and others gave us a solid soundtrack to dance through life to. But we all grow up and you have to know when to retire your toys to the attic of your memories. But… you can go up there and listen to your records any time you want and relive all of those wonderful feelings again. You can’t go back, but you can always wrap yourself up in those songs like a warm familiar blanket and smile.

Thanks for the ride guys! I will always love you!

Okay, one last bit here. If my sister makes fun of Ozzy Osbourne, it’s not cool, because she doesn’t own every Black Sabbath record ever made. But I can because I love Sabbath! I can make fun of my idols because there’s so much love there. So, as I did on their first album cover let’s take a look at these grandpops now.

Brad Whitford looks like he just stepped out of a card game with Wyatt Earp. Joe Perry with his Bonnie Raitt two-tone hair looks like an old bone daddy biker. Joey Kramer looks like an activist at the NYC Gay Pride parade. Tom Hamilton looks like that twice-divorced, used to be hot, lady neighbor with the ’78 Camaro. Steven Tyler looks like the cool aunt who would buy you and your friends beer when you all came over to your friend’s house in the ’70s. Or, he just came from his audition for the latest Pirates of the Caribbean movie.

LOVE YOU!

I long for these days…

Here are my favorite Aerosmith albums in order:

  1. Rocks
  2. Toys in the Attic
  3. Aerosmith
  4. Night in the Ruts
  5. Rock In A Hard Place
  6. Done With Mirrors
  7. Get Your Wings
  8. Draw The Line

Honorable mention: The Joe Perry Project – Let the Music Do the Talking

There you have it. I hope you’ve enjoyed this series as much as I have writing it. If you liked it, hit me up in the comments or email me about some other bands I could write about!

 

P.S. “If you’re ever feeling sad and beaten down by the world and life, please do this: Go home, put on your favorite record and crank it up loud. Lean into the music and feel the joy that it’s always brought you. Just know that all the darkness in the world can NEVER take a single note of that away from you.”

– Charles

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Jane Seymour on Finding New Love in Her Late-60s: No Tinder

This Oct. 6, 2019 photo shows actress Jane Seymour posing at The Four Seasons Hotel in Los Angeles to promote her role in “The Kominsky Method.” (Photo by Rebecca Cabage/Invision/AP)

Jane Seymour was in her mid-60s when her husband of 20 years decided it was over. The actress was floored.

“I had a long marriage and never thought it was going to end,” the 68-year-old said recently while promoting the second season of Netflix’s “The Kominsky Method,” co-starring Michael Douglas and Alan Arkin.

“I’m going, ‘I what? I date? What? Are you crazy? How does this work?’” Seymour said. “And then my kids would say, ‘Mom, there’s this thing called Tinder.’ And I’m like, ‘No, that’s not going to happen.’”

But similar to her character in “The Kominsky Method” who runs into an old flame, fate intervened, and Seymour stumbled upon a new romance. She has been with boyfriend and British film director David Green since 2014, about a year after her divorce from filmmaker James Keach, who directed “Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman,” Seymour’s iconic role.

“Accidentally I ran into somebody I knew 38 years earlier who had been in a long marriage and his marriage ended,” she said. “It wasn’t his choice and my marriage ended, it wasn’t my choice. And we randomly met accidentally 38 years later and realized we were free, and we’ve been together ever since. So I do not have to date.”

Her experience drew Seymour to “The Kominsky Method,” in which she plays Madelyn, who reconnects with Arkin’s character (Norman) at a funeral following the deaths of their spouses.

“I do get this whole thing of having a relationship with someone that’s contemporary, you know?” Seymour said. “We’re both dealing with older children, exes, and our future … how long will we live? How can we stay healthy? How can we tick off our bucket list? Do we still want to work or do we feel like we’ve only just started, which is the case with me and David?”

The Emmy- and Golden Globe-winning actress has four children and two stepchildren from her four marriages.

On top of acting and a busy family life, Seymour designs furniture and jewelry. Seymour recently had a one-woman art show in Washington, D.C., she writes books, runs a nonprofit, and produces movies.

“I do what I do because I love it,” she said. “I don’t think of it ever as a job … It’s called living. So I don’t see retiring. You don’t retire from life.”

In fact, Seymour said her own children have a tough time keeping up with her.

“Inside of me, I’m 20. OK? I hang out with my 23-year-old boys, and the other day I was with them running around Europe and they said, ‘Mom, can you slow down?’” she said. “I went, ‘No, this is the pace at which I go and you are a third of my age, so you better just catch up with Mama.’ I just love life.”

With age, she said, has come “more of a freedom in kind of accepting who I am and what I look like and how I feel now than I did when I was younger when I was trying maybe too hard to be something.”

Seymour first caught the eye of audiences when she played Bond girl Solitaire in 1973’s “Live and Let Die.” Asked what it’s like to be a sex symbol for nearly five decades and well into her 60s, Seymour scoffed.

“I’ve never thought of it that way,” she said, noting that she and her Bond character were both virgins. “So hardly a sex symbol. I didn’t know what sex was.”

Since then, Seymour has posed in “Playboy” three times, in 1973, 1987, and last year, when the magazine said the actress “is more of a sex symbol now than when she played a Bond girl.”

To Seymour, sexy means being comfortable in your own skin at every age. That’s why she hasn’t had plastic surgery, the actress said.

“I made a choice a long time ago not to do all the things that other people do because I’m not trying to look like me when I’m 20 or 30. It’s kind of pointless,” she said. “So, I just thought, let’s put on a gray wig and have some wrinkles and actually play characters.”

Seymour said she’s one of the lucky actresses who’ve landed great roles after 40.

“Hollywood’s been pretty good to me, actually,” she said. “Back in the day, they used to say if you’re a woman and you’re 40, you’re done. Well, when I was 40, I got ‘Dr. Quinn.’ So that’s when I started. And to be honest, right now I feel like this is my moment because there are all these amazing characters that I can now play without having to worry about whether I look like a leading lady.

Her eyes glimmered: “And I can still play it like a leading lady if I put my hair and makeup together.”

 

The Absolute Dater – Making Online Dating Easy Again

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Aerosmith – Part 8

Wildwood, NJ – 1989

I’m working as a Branch Manager at the Avalon branch of Midlantic Bank. I’m doing well. I have my own apartment, and I have a steady girlfriend. I’ve joined the ranks of all the other working stiffs in America. I was more mature and responsible now. So was Aerosmith. Sober and working on their craft. They had gotten a second chance and took it. I was happy for them and new success in their miraculous second wave.

Aerosmith – Pump – 1989

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pump_(album)

This is a great record that you can really tell the band busted their butts to make. The work, songwriting, and production are all firmly in place on this record. This is what an older, wiser Aerosmith sounds like. The masses came in droves. They no longer belonged to me. We no longer had an exclusive one-on-one relationship. Aerosmith was dating everybody in the world now.

Hits: Love in an Elevator. (This felt like a sequel to Walk this Way. The guy wasn’t in high school anymore, and now plying his trade in department stores and office buildings) Jaime’s Got A Gun (Massive hit about child abuse. Huge success. But don’t get me started on Steven Tyler’s history with underage girls.)

Tales of Rock: Steven Tyler Took Legal Custody Of The Teenager He Was Banging, May Have Pressured Her Into Aborting Their Child

Tales of Rock – 11 Rock Stars Who Allegedly Slept With Underage Girls

My favorites: Young Lust, and F.I.N.E (These are the two songs that harken back to the Aerosmith songs that I liked. But, we were all getting older, and sadly for life to go forward, people have to grow and change. *sigh…

But Joe is looking virile!

Woodbury, NJ – 1993

I’m married and a homeowner by now. I’ve accepted the responsibility of grinding domesticity. I’ve stopped dreaming and settled into a life of frustrating mediocrity. Sadly, so has my favorite band.

Aerosmith – Get A Grip 1993

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Get_a_Grip

Hits: Livin’ on the Edge, Amazing, Crazy, and Crying. (Goddamn it guys. Did you not think we’d notice that Amazing, Crazy, and Crying all sound like the same song?)

My favorites: Eat The Rich. (This is a kick-ass song that sounds like the band I was once deeply in love with.) Livin’ on the Edge (Solid song.) Other than that, I could care less about this album. I would listen to Eat the Rich and then turn it off and go listen to something else. So sad.

The band is selling more albums now than they ever have before in the history of the band. They’ve officially sold out at this point. But I can’t blame them. I’ll always love them.

But by now I’ve already moved on to bands like Alice in Chains and Soundgarden.

 

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Aerosmith – Part 7

Wildwood, NJ – 1984

I was working one Saturday afternoon at my job at Home Video Centers. We rented movies and sold all sorts of video equipment. We played MTV on all of the televisions all day long. It was good background music for the store and the video images looked great on all of the different sets. I was standing with a couple of the sales guys and we were just chatting and watching videos. Then Kurt Loder came on and did the music news. He made the announcement that the original members of the band Aerosmith had drifted back together, put their differences aside, and had gotten back together as a group again. My heart skipped a beat I was so happy. I was glad they were all okay, and prayed a new album would come out soon!

Aerosmith – Done With Mirrors – 1984

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Done_with_Mirrors

All of the text on this album was backward. (No idea) What did the title mean? (It was all just a reflection, or was it a magic trick? (Did the title mean that the band was done snorting coke off of mirrors?) Who knows. I bought the cassette and took it home to listen to it. Let’s review.

  1. Let the Music Do the Talking: They took the title track from Joe’s first solo album and reworked the lyrics and arrangement and made it their own! Great version of an already good song. It’s a great, ‘welcome back song’ for the band.
  2. My Fist Your Face: As the title says, this song hits hard and kicks ass!
  3. Shame on You: Another solid laboring rocker. All of these songs have great Joe Perry riffs!
  4. Reason a Dog: Okay, not bad. Typical slow song for this point on an album.
  5. Sheila: Okay… a song about a girl. Not bad.
  6. Gypsy Boots: I can’t remember this one, but it works okay.
  7. She’s On Fire: Love this one. Solid build and good swing.
  8. The Hop: A jumping tribute to the band!
  9. Darkness: Great ominous closer with some real positive glimmers of more to come.

I loved this record just as much as Rock in a Hard Place. It feels like Rocks 2. I know that’s a bold statement but the band took a few years off from each other and worked to get clean. It doesn’t have the warmth of Rocks and the whole production seems sparse and a bit chilly, but it really kicks ass as an album, and a powerful return of America’s greatest rock n roll band! LOVE!

But… would this be the last time I really loved an Aerosmith album?

Wildwood, NJ – 1987

By 1987, I was out of retail and now working as a loan assistant at a local bank. Aerosmith had been working hard on writing songs, and their sobriety. I was happy about all of that and would buy anything they put out because of my decade-long love affair with them.

This next record feels like a transition for the band. They’re moving towards a more commercial sound. This was the first time I heard Aerosmith songs that I didn’t really care for. I think by then, I loved what I loved and if it didn’t look or sound like what I liked, then I wasn’t that into it. But I’m loyal so I bought it.

Overall this is a solid record for the masses. I never thought of Aerosmith like that. I’m not going to go track by track, which may sound surprising to most, but I’m losing my attraction to the band. It kind of hurt. It was like the beginning of the end of any relationship. You’re trying for a few years, and then the inevitable happens. A few hits came out of this record that were very popular on FM and MTV, but I sort of have lost that loving feeling for Aero. There are moments on this album when I hear the old band, but that ship is vanishing on the horizon. But I’m not 14 anymore. I’m a 25-year-old man now. Anyone expecting to feel what you felt at 14 when you first saw Star Wars or heard the Rocks album is kidding himself and setting himself up for disappointment. But I still love Aerosmith.

Aerosmith – Permanent Vacation – 1987

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Permanent_Vacation_(Aerosmith_album)

Hits: Dude (Looks Like a Lady) Rag Doll, and Angel.

The song Angel is the kiss of death for this band. It’s like the song, ‘Nothing Else Matters’ by Metallica. The hardcore fans know the honeymoon is finally over.

My favorites on this record: St. John, Girl Keeps Coming Apart, The Movie. Because they sound like the band I loved!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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