5 Signs Your Husband Is Gay

Is your husband or boyfriend gay?

From the onset, I want to make one thing perfectly clear,

Knowing for sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that your husband is gay is next to impossible until it’s a reality!

Take me for example, and many of the “married but gay” clients that I work with until we grow the balls to say, “Frankly my dear I’m gay,” it was pretty hard for most people to see it. Of course, there’s a whole subconscious layer of denial that prevails in the “gay but married to a heterosexual” world — for all concerned!

Most straight spouses who’ve been married to someone who finally ventures out of the closet (or is on the ‘down low’) will admit upon reflection that they had some inkling that something just didn’t fit in their relationship – no pun intended. Simply acknowledging a disconnect or a misalignment in the relationship doesn’t necessarily mean he’s gay.

However, in most cases, there are signs that heed the warning that the man you love is more attracted to men than to you.

The Definitive, Un-definitive Guide To Knowing If Your Husband Is Gay

1. He’s overtly homophobic.

As the media has shown us over and over again, many a man “comes out” by being forced out due to their blatant disdain towards homosexuality. Tangled in their own web of lies Mark FolleyTed HaggardPhil HinkleJim McGreevey all played their no gay me for me cards only to be caught with their pants down with individuals of the same sex!

While not a 100% guarantee that your man’s playing for the other side, it does make you wonder, “Is he really that insecure, or is it a cover-up?”

2. He’s overly evasive or secretive.

Whether it’s protecting their emails and texts, or always changing the subject about where they’ve been, if your man is uber-sensitive in these areas, then there’s a good chance that one of two things is up:

  1. He’s having an affair or
  2. He’s gay and hiding his truth

(Of course, the third possibility is he’s gay and having an affair with a man.)

No matter what the reality is, something’s come up and it’s getting in the way of your relationship, so it’s time to get to the bottom of it – for the good of both of you!

3. Lingering and longing.

This one’s pretty straightforward – you catch your man checking out other men. Doesn’t matter if it’s in public, pics in magazines, or on the 52” screen of your home theater. When his eyes linger with hunger and desire on a fine specimen of the male species… something’s stirring (admittedly, it could be a simple “Bromance” — man-to-man admiration).

4. No more rocket in the pocket.

Erectile Dysfunction (ED) is either self-induced or the real deal. In the case of a man who’s fighting his core sexuality, it’s not uncommon for his spouse and her desires for sexual intimacy to be told to take a number and wait. Even special occasion sex (of the birthday and anniversary kind) gets wrapped up in the excuse of Not now I’m really tired!

Regardless of the reason, doing a little extra homework in this area to uncover the true reason for the lack, will help to reveal the truth and might just provide some intimate fun along the way.

5. Al Bundy Makeover

Even Peg Bundy would have perked up and thrown her sexual overtures at Al if he’d strutted into the room looking like Ryan Reynolds or Bradley Cooper. Often, his slightest shift in grooming, clothing style, and time spent at the gym leads to an extreme makeover that still doesn’t guarantee that Al’s heading back to your boudoir.

If your man’s looking finer than he ever did in college, leave some room for his own desire to better himself, but don’t be so naïve that it’s all just for his own good. He may be making himself good for the other man in his life!

Regardless of the reasons that are causing you to believe your man may be wandering to the other side of the fence (check out  “No Hiding Your Gay”  over at Truth Talks Blog), the sooner you get to the bottom of the situation the sooner you can release the suspicious energy. This is catabolic energy (destructive) that tears your energy stores down and prevents you from being able to manifest higher levels of anabolic (building energy).

For you men navigating this world of “straddling the sexuality fence,” I only share these observations with your female counterparts as a means to bring you both to a place of clarity. It’s your health and mental well-being that is at risk each day that you live hidden in the shadows of your truth. Regardless of how painful you may believe it to be “on the other side of the closet door,” truth is, it’s more painful and stressful to lead the dual life.

The Absolute Dater – Making Online Dating Easy Again

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Jane Seymour on Finding New Love in Her Late-60s: No Tinder

This Oct. 6, 2019 photo shows actress Jane Seymour posing at The Four Seasons Hotel in Los Angeles to promote her role in “The Kominsky Method.” (Photo by Rebecca Cabage/Invision/AP)

Jane Seymour was in her mid-60s when her husband of 20 years decided it was over. The actress was floored.

“I had a long marriage and never thought it was going to end,” the 68-year-old said recently while promoting the second season of Netflix’s “The Kominsky Method,” co-starring Michael Douglas and Alan Arkin.

“I’m going, ‘I what? I date? What? Are you crazy? How does this work?’” Seymour said. “And then my kids would say, ‘Mom, there’s this thing called Tinder.’ And I’m like, ‘No, that’s not going to happen.’”

But similar to her character in “The Kominsky Method” who runs into an old flame, fate intervened, and Seymour stumbled upon a new romance. She has been with boyfriend and British film director David Green since 2014, about a year after her divorce from filmmaker James Keach, who directed “Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman,” Seymour’s iconic role.

“Accidentally I ran into somebody I knew 38 years earlier who had been in a long marriage and his marriage ended,” she said. “It wasn’t his choice and my marriage ended, it wasn’t my choice. And we randomly met accidentally 38 years later and realized we were free, and we’ve been together ever since. So I do not have to date.”

Her experience drew Seymour to “The Kominsky Method,” in which she plays Madelyn, who reconnects with Arkin’s character (Norman) at a funeral following the deaths of their spouses.

“I do get this whole thing of having a relationship with someone that’s contemporary, you know?” Seymour said. “We’re both dealing with older children, exes, and our future … how long will we live? How can we stay healthy? How can we tick off our bucket list? Do we still want to work or do we feel like we’ve only just started, which is the case with me and David?”

The Emmy- and Golden Globe-winning actress has four children and two stepchildren from her four marriages.

On top of acting and a busy family life, Seymour designs furniture and jewelry. Seymour recently had a one-woman art show in Washington, D.C., she writes books, runs a nonprofit, and produces movies.

“I do what I do because I love it,” she said. “I don’t think of it ever as a job … It’s called living. So I don’t see retiring. You don’t retire from life.”

In fact, Seymour said her own children have a tough time keeping up with her.

“Inside of me, I’m 20. OK? I hang out with my 23-year-old boys, and the other day I was with them running around Europe and they said, ‘Mom, can you slow down?’” she said. “I went, ‘No, this is the pace at which I go and you are a third of my age, so you better just catch up with Mama.’ I just love life.”

With age, she said, has come “more of a freedom in kind of accepting who I am and what I look like and how I feel now than I did when I was younger when I was trying maybe too hard to be something.”

Seymour first caught the eye of audiences when she played Bond girl Solitaire in 1973’s “Live and Let Die.” Asked what it’s like to be a sex symbol for nearly five decades and well into her 60s, Seymour scoffed.

“I’ve never thought of it that way,” she said, noting that she and her Bond character were both virgins. “So hardly a sex symbol. I didn’t know what sex was.”

Since then, Seymour has posed in “Playboy” three times, in 1973, 1987, and last year, when the magazine said the actress “is more of a sex symbol now than when she played a Bond girl.”

To Seymour, sexy means being comfortable in your own skin at every age. That’s why she hasn’t had plastic surgery, the actress said.

“I made a choice a long time ago not to do all the things that other people do because I’m not trying to look like me when I’m 20 or 30. It’s kind of pointless,” she said. “So, I just thought, let’s put on a gray wig and have some wrinkles and actually play characters.”

Seymour said she’s one of the lucky actresses who’ve landed great roles after 40.

“Hollywood’s been pretty good to me, actually,” she said. “Back in the day, they used to say if you’re a woman and you’re 40, you’re done. Well, when I was 40, I got ‘Dr. Quinn.’ So that’s when I started. And to be honest, right now I feel like this is my moment because there are all these amazing characters that I can now play without having to worry about whether I look like a leading lady.

Her eyes glimmered: “And I can still play it like a leading lady if I put my hair and makeup together.”

 

The Absolute Dater – Making Online Dating Easy Again

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

How to Make a Girl Want You and Think Of You Sexually

Are you attracted to a girl but don’t know how to get her interested in you? Use these 10 ways on how to make a girl want you sexually to do just that.

Here’s a piece sent to me by one of my readers. It seems interesting and worth running on the blog today. You can always learn something new.

Thanks, Blane!

Girls may get drawn to a guy for his personality.

But even if you’re a guy with a great personality, it’s easy to end up becoming just a friend instead of a lover. If you want to make a girl fall in love with you, read these.

But if you want to make a girl want you and desire you sexually, read on.

Girls love great guys who are a lot of fun to be with. But then, there are a lot of great guys all around. And when you’re attracted to a girl who is drop-dead gorgeous and can get the attention of any guy she wants, it’s not easy to make her desire you sexually.

But there are ways, really easy ways.

Most guys are too afraid to make a move on a girl who’s very good-looking because they’re afraid to get spurned.

Don’t be one of those guys.

But when you’re trying to impress a girl you know, don’t make it obvious that you like her too soon either. If she doesn’t like you yet, she may end up distancing herself from you to avoid any awkward moments.

Instead, behave like a friend.

10 steps to making a girl want you

If you find yourself getting really attracted to a friend who’s getting a lot of attention already, you can definitely make her desire you and want you. All you need to do is play it safe and slow by using these steps to turn her on and make her want you.

#1 Be a good friend. Sometimes, behaving like a friend can be the easiest way to a girl’s heart. But there’s a very thin line between being a friend that she’s attracted to and being a friend she considers a brother.

If you want her to want you, be a good friend who’s there for her, but don’t always be there for her. Speak to her when she’s around, but make sure she sees you flirting with other girls now and then too. Don’t be the friend who’s going to give a shoulder to lean on. Instead, be the friend who talks about current events and fun things.

She’s got to love your company to start with, but she should never feel like you’re an indispensable friend. If you go wrong here, you may just end up getting into her friend zone and lose all hope of sleeping with her.

#2 Flirt with her. Try to spend time with her when she’s alone. If her other friends are with her, you can avoid her or just wave a hello and move on after a quick chat. The more you hang out with her as just a friend, the lesser the chances of you ever making her desire you.

Spend time with her only when she’s all by herself. That’ll give you enough time to date talk to her and discreetly flirt with her. Flirt with her, make her feel warm and awkwardly nice while hanging out with you. And treat her just like you would treat your girlfriend, but don’t ever call her your girlfriend though.

#3 Don’t be possessive. You may like her a lot and hate all the other guys that flirt with her. But you know what, you don’t own her. And she’s not your girlfriend. So never behave possessively or prevent her from meeting or talking to other guys. You’ll end up losing her because you’ll become a creepy guy.

Instead, have your own life, but give her your time when you bump into her or have some alone time together. Don’t be stuck at her hip. She’ll never fall for you and you’ll end up becoming her doormat.

#4 Be her secret life. As I said earlier, spend a lot of time with her and flirt with her, but do that only when she’s by herself. Create a secret relationship that no one knows about other than the both of you. By doing this, you’ll make the relationship more exciting and thrilling. Become a part of her life, text her often at night when you know she’s alone, talk about personal issues, and indulge in everything a couple would do. But keep the relationship a secret.

#5 Make her miss you. Now, this is tricky but also a lot of fun. Once both of you are closer and like spending time with each other, call her every night for a week or so. And then, don’t call her one day. If she meets you or texts you the next day asking why you didn’t call, she obviously missed you and wanted to speak with you!

Flirt with her and charmingly ask her if she missed you because you didn’t call. Use different ways to make her miss your company and constantly create scenarios where you force her to realize that she actually likes you and misses you when you aren’t around.

#6 Confession time. Confessions are the best way to open a girl up. Of course, she won’t start confessing about her sexual escapades to you just yet. You need to warm her up to it. During one of your late-night calls, tell her that you bumped into one of your exes who was a horny wild cat.

The girl you like will obviously be curious and would want to know more about your ex. Use this excuse to go into the details of your sex life. Be patient and start funny, and get more descriptive and add explicit horny details as the conversation goes on. If you play this game carefully, speak softly and make sure you describe the events like an erotic story, she can’t help but visualize you naked. And chances are, she’ll also be wet down there just listening to you!

#7 Talk sex. If you’ve pulled off your sexual confession without a hitch and she liked what you had to say, she’s definitely turned on now. Ask her about a horny experience from her past. She may hesitate at first, but pester her just a bit. If she’s horny, she definitely wouldn’t mind getting into details. And as she tells her stories, gasp and talk like you’re imagining the whole thing. It’d be a huge turn-on for both of you.

#8 Get her to talk dirty with you. You may wonder if all these steps are even possible, but you won’t believe how easy it is to get a girl talking dirty in a nighttime conversation until you’ve tried it. Trust me, it’s really easy, as long as you’ve warmed her up with your horny stories. Now that you’ve got her confessing all her dirty deeds to you, it’s time you get yourself into the picture.

Compliment her for being such a naughty girlfriend, and discreetly tell her how awesome it would have been if you were her boyfriend. Saying that will definitely spark a fire of lust because she’ll know exactly where you’re going with the conversation. Speak softly, don’t get overexcited, and don’t stop with the dirty questions.

#9 Have phone sex. If you’ve used the list of dirty questions while talking to her, chances are, both of you are already really horny. Now start creating imaginary situations to turn her on even more. Tell her something like “I wish I was there right now, there’s so much I would want to do…” And when she whispers back softly and asks you what you’d do, you’ve hit jackpot.

Describe what you’d do to her in detail, starting off from kissing her neck to taking her top off to whatever else you have in mind. Avoid talking about kissing her on the lips straight away though, it’s too personal and straightforward for a few girls. And before you know it, both of you would be talking dirty and having phone sex with each other!

#10 Ask her out. Well, so now you’ve made her want you and crave for you sexually. But what’s next? You just had phone sex with her. You’re on a high, but don’t end it right there. Ask her if she’d like to meet you, or go out on a date with you the next day. She’d be too horny to resist.

And when both of you meet up on a date, it’ll probably end with both of you having sex or falling in passionate love. Either way, you’ve got the girl of your dreams wanting you and craving for you sexually. Could you ask for anything more?

If you want to know how to make a girl want you and think of you sexually, use these 10 steps I’ve mentioned. If you play it calmly and safely, you could be in bed with the girl of your fantasies in a couple of weeks!

 

The Absolute Dater – Making Online Dating Easy Again

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

12 Shameless Signs of Breadcrumbing People Use for an Ego Boost

You’ve been chatting with this person, and everything seems perfect until it starts to get confusing. Are you able to recognize the signs of breadcrumbing?

Ah yes, the agony of recognizing the signs of breadcrumbing in a budding romance! But before we get there, if you’ve never heard of this term, well, in some cases, it’s a good thing.

But if this has happened to you, obviously, you want to know the name for it. Have you ever met someone, and there was this click? The conversation is going really well, and in your head, you think something good may come out of this.

You two are texting all the time, even talking on the phone, but nothing goes past that. They’re not asking to see you, not making any new plans – nothing. And maybe you’re still talking to them right now. Well, if this has or is happening to you, this is called breadcrumbing.

What is breadcrumbing?

So what is breadcrumbing exactly? Well, breadcrumbing is when someone is consciously leading another person on for the excitement and ego boost. A breadcrumber will flirt, engage in conversation, doing everything they can to get you hooked.

And then once that happens, they toy around with you, playing hot and cold games. I know it sucks. It’s always a good feeling when someone is interested in you, and there’s a good connection. But, you don’t want that person to do it because of ego. If you want to know if you’re being breadcrumbed, take a look at these signs of breadcrumbing. That way, you can quit while you’re ahead.

The 12 most obvious signs of breadcrumbing that can’t be missed

Learn the signs of breadcrumbing to avoid it happening to you.

#1 They play hot and cold games. Ah yes, the classic ‘hot and cold’ games. This is something they’re masters of and is a very clear sign you’re being breadcrumbed. One day, they’re very chatty, texting with you non-stop, making you feel like you’re the only one. And the next day, it’s like you don’t exist. This happens again and again, over and over.

#2 They use different ways to breadcrumb you. Here’s the thing, when someone is breadcrumbing you, they’re not just sticking to one form of breadcrumbing. Instead, they’ll keep you ‘seen’ on Whatsapp, but then they’ll like your photo on Instagram or comment on a Facebook post. That way, they maintain on your radar, so you can never really forget or move on from them.

#3 Your conversations are shallow. This doesn’t mean you’re shallow. Sure, you two may have had a deeper conversation now and again, but when you really take a look at what you two talk about, there’s not much going on. In reality, your conversations with them are simple and shallow. They’re not investing too much energy in getting to know you.

#4 They’re seeing other people. If they’re seeing other people while texting you, they’re clearly breadcrumbing you. Now, if they’re in an open relationship and you’re aware of that, this is something different. But if they’re not, it’s clear they’re keeping their options open, and you’re just one of them. They want to date a lot of people without looking like a jerk, so they tell you they’re casually dating.

#5 They don’t ask to see you. If someone likes you, they’re going to make time to see you. It’s really that simple. If someone isn’t investing time to hang out with you, they’re not interested in you.

Yeah, I know the flirting is giving you a different impression, but look at their actions, not words. They could have all the free time in the world, but they still don’t take the time to see you.

#6 They know exactly when you’re getting over them. Here’s the thing, when you’re almost getting over them, they contact you. It’s funny how that works. It’s like they have a clock inside of them that alerts them when people move on. Maybe it’s their psychic abilities, or they’ve recently crept you on social media. But I can put money on it that this is when they’ll contact you again.

#7 The only time they talk to you is for something. When they text you, do they ever do that just to see how you are? Probably not. Instead, they only text you when they need something. What I mean by ‘something’ is usually sex. They’ll send you flirtatious jokes, and ask you a question or two, but give it a couple of minutes, and you’ll see their true intentions.

#8 They booty call you. Now, a booty call doesn’t necessarily mean you’re being breadcrumbed. If you two both agreed on casual sex, then it’s fine. But if not, then that’s something else. You don’t hear from them in ages, and then all of a sudden, late at night, you get a suspicious text from them. And this is the “booty call” text.

#9 They bail on your agreed plans. You two have made plans to see each other, but at the last minute, they’ve canceled on you. If this happens once, it’s fine. But if this becomes a routine act on their part, you’re being breadcrumbed. They have no intention of meeting you ever, unless it’s for sex, of course.

#10 You don’t feel good about yourself. When you have a conversation with them, you don’t feel good about it. At the moment, flirting felt nice, but when the conversation ends, you feel disappointed. The feeling of sadness and disappointment aren’t signs of a healthy relationship. This person shouldn’t be making you feel these negative emotions.

#11 They’re passive-aggressive when you confront them. No one wants to be caught when playing a mean game. Maybe you’ve confronted them about their actions; as a response, they’re passive-aggressive and manipulative. Listen, you know what’s going on, so don’t let their response affect you. Listen and follow your gut instinct.

#12 You wonder what you did wrong. First of all, you did nothing wrong. But every time you talk to them, you feel like you may have said something that turned them off. That’s not the case, that’s part of the game. It’s easier for them to have you blame yourself than point the finger at them.

It’s easy to be confused when you’re experiencing the hot and cold behavior of someone who’s playing you and trying to breadcrumb you. But remember, whenever you go through these cycles of confusion and stress, it’s usually them and not you.

No one likes to be breadcrumbed, and knowing the signs of breadcrumbing will help you avoid having this happen to yourself.

The Absolute Dater – Making Online Dating Easy Again

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

If You Miss Using Dating Apps Now That You’re In A Relationship, Here’s What To Do

After all of that swiping, matching, chatting, and meeting, you’ve finally landed yourself a keeper. You’re in a relationship with a great person, but sometimes, you still miss using dating apps. You may be wondering whether having the occasional urge to swipe is something you should be concerned about, which is a totally valid question. It turns out that there are a number of reasons why you might miss dating apps. The explanation may be as simple as you’re easily bored and you miss having a mindless activity to distract yourself with, or it could be more complicated — and could potentially be an indicator that you’re unhappy with some aspect of your relationship.

I spoke to Dr. QuaVaundra Perry, a licensed psychologist who specializes in couples’ therapy and relationship distress. She explains that there are a few things to consider if you’re in a relationship but find that you miss dating apps. She provided a list of questions to ask yourself, which, when answered honestly, can help determine if there is an unresolved issue within yourself or your relationship. Before you start to panic, you should ask yourself the following four questions. Then, evaluate your answers based on Dr. Perry’s expert advice.

1. What is it about dating apps that you miss?

Stocksy/Guille Faingold

This is the first and most important question to ask yourself, according to Dr. Perry. She explains that the specific type of dating app that you miss can help shed some light on your situation.

“If you miss being on sites aimed to connect people looking for long-term relationships, it may mean you are unfulfilled with respect to your partner’s goals and values,” says Dr. Perry. “However, if you miss being on dating apps that are designed to promote casual sexual hookups, it may indicate unfulfilled sexual desires in your current relationship or differing views on monogamy.”

Depending on which category you fall into, you may need to have a serious conversation with your partner about your needs that are not getting met, and how this could impact your future together.

2. When and why did you use dating apps?

Stocksy/Javier Pardina

It’s also important to evaluate when and why you visited dating apps or sites in the past because that can help explain the reasons behind your current urges to get back on them.

“Do you notice that you browse the sites mindlessly out of habit when you are bored or do you visit the sites when you feel rejected and alone?” says Dr. Perry. The former isn’t as big of an issue as the latter and can be more easily addressed and rectified. Consider downloading a few games on your phone. That way you can still be entertained, but without any consequences in terms of your relationship.

3. Are you happy in your relationship?

Stocksy/T-REX & Flower

“Another issue can be taming the mindset of finding the one,'” says Dr. Perry. “Oftentimes people are happy in their relationship but may feel compelled to continue using dating apps in case they are missing out on the perfect mate. Do you find yourself browsing out of curiosity?”

This is a common obstacle to finding a relationship on a dating app or at least getting someone to fully commit. It’s not out of the ordinary to question whether there is someone else out there for you who might be “better” than your current partner. This question of “What if?” may explain your reluctance to stop swiping.

4. Are you secure with yourself?

Stocksy/Studio Firma

Finally, ask yourself whether you are secure and confident in yourself. How is your self-esteem? Do you tend to get your confidence boosts through compliments from other people, or does that love come from within? This may be the hardest question to answer honestly, but it’s so important.

“At times, you may find yourself missing dating apps because it gave you a sense of validation and attention, even if short-lived,” says Dr. Perry. “It may be worth exploring whether you are looking outward for comfort and praise that can only be fulfilled within.”

There are a number of possible explanations why you might feel the need to use dating apps even though you’re in a committed relationship. Before you act rashly, though, consider what is missing from your relationship — and whether your current partner is able to help meet those needs.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1