Facebook and Instagram: The Silent Relationship Killers

As Generation Y-ers, you all use social media. It’s a way of life. Where would we be if we didn’t constantly know what everyone in our lives was doing? Social media is an excellent way to stay connected with our peers, but sometimes the use of social media sites, such as Facebook and Instagram, can lead to trouble.

Particularly, when it comes to relationships. When someone has easy access to their significant other’s photos, conversations, etc, it can lead to a bit of an obsession. Constantly checking in on your partner is never a good thing, and new studies are starting to prove that.

New research from the University of Missouri School of Journalism has confirmed that too much social media can screw up your relationships, to the point that excessive use makes relationship conflict more likely, which can then lead to cheating and breakups.

Um, no thank you:

“Previous research has shown that the more a person in a romantic relationship uses Facebook, the more likely they are to monitor their partner’s Facebook activity more stringently, which can lead to feelings of jealousy. Facebook-induced jealousy may lead to arguments concerning past partners,” says doctoral student Russell Clayton, who led the study. “Excessive Facebook users are more likely to connect or reconnect with other Facebook users, including previous partners, which may lead to emotional and physical cheating.”

This doesn’t just apply to Facebook and IG, of course. Chronic social media stalking of any kind is detrimental to a relationship. Learn how to trust, and learn how to put away your iPhone for a while. If you’re looking for something, I guarantee that you’ll create a problem.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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How To Date A Girl Out Of Your League

The following advice is important and has always worked for me. Good luck, gents!

In the romantic gamble of dating, you must have come across this idiomatic phrase – ‘way out of your league’. The phrase in the simplest of dating terms means that the girl whom you badly want to date or had Cupid’s luck to make your girlfriend is someone who is more accomplished, a stronger individual, more loved and adored by people, than you. Is your hope of dating a girl out of your league futile?

Every time you see her, walk with her and talk with her, you feel the world’s gaze on you. It’s as if you can almost hear them throwing dirty and incredulous looks at you that very clearly read – “How can he date someone who is way out of his league?” So, you end up with this unsettling feeling in the pit of your stomach –’ she’s way too good for me’ or ‘I am simply not good enough for her’. And you are convinced that your love interest is way out of your league and nothing will work between the two of you.

But before you start doubting yourself, let us let you in a secret – the most accomplished, beautiful, and gorgeous women often fall for men who like them for all the right reasons. These women know they have the power to make guys worship them, but they are looking for someone who looks beyond the gorgeousness. Now, if you are genuinely interested in dating a girl out of your league, we are here to help. If you are looking for answers on how do you get a girl who is out of your league, we tell you how.

How to tell if a girl is way out of your league

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She is someone whom every guy has set his heart on. They’d go to any lengths to date her and are willing to impress her with charming looks, money, and extravagant gifts. And you are losing your heart because you are just an average-looking guy. STOP! Don’t lose heart, not just yet, because you too have a shot at dating her.

Before you actually go after the girl of your dreams, you might want to decide if she is really way out of your league or simply pretending to be. Is she just an attention seeker who toys with many hearts at once?

Finding out if a girl is way out of your league actually varies from person to person depending on what skill sets, ideas, expectations, and behavior she outranks you in.

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6 ways to find out if a girl you plan on dating is out of your league
  1. Consider her looks: It’s a common dating behavior observed among people. They tend to pick dating partners who can match their own attraction levels. So, if you think you are less good-looking than her or are simply average-looking, then there is a chance she may consider herself out of your league. As shallow as the reason can be, that’s the brutal way the dating world works
  2. Consider her socio-economic class: This is the most common method taken by guys to figure out their leagues. If she is a rich girl walking around in expensive cars and designer clothes, she may consider ‘money’ as a deciding factor in dating. Keep track of her past relationships if any, and see what kind of guys she has dated in the past, and do a quick background check of their economies. However, that doesn’t mean that poor guys don’t date rich girls. You simply have to see if your rich girl dates poor guys or not
  3. Check her education level: For some girls, brains matter equally along with beauty. If she is far more educated than you, she will rule herself out of your league and date someone with similar educational background
  4. Try to know her lifestyle choices: In order to be compatible, you need to know if you share the same lifestyle choices and outlook towards life. If she is a fitness freak and you’re not, if she’s religious and you’re not, if she believes in the goodness of humanity and you do not, chances are slim that she will prefer dating you
  5. She never introduces you to people in her life: She agreed to be your girlfriend, yet somehow she has successfully dodged the occasion of introducing you to anyone from her social circle. That is your cue to know that maybe she likes dating you, but not that enough to introduce you to her friends and family. Chances are that she considers herself out of your league and you are not good enough for her
  6. She’s noticed more than you: It’s not as if you didn’t know, but the universe never stops reminding you. Whenever you walk out, she’s the one who easily blends with the crowd or strikes a conversation with total strangers. She is smiled at all the time and is often complimented more. She has a huge friends circle. Every time, she is the one overshadowing you and you are simply a dull spot in the backdrop

That’s how you slowly get to know that maybe she is out of your league. You weigh her, and then you weigh yourself on many parameters. Yet, the attraction remains and a part of you wants to date her, get to know her better, and even fall in love with her, even as your close friends keep telling you she is a girl out of your league.

So, what to do next? Do you simply let her go, or do you win your way into her league?

Definitely, gird your loins and try to win your girl. So here are 8 tips to impress the girl who is out of your league.

8 tips to date a girl who is out of your league

Image result for average guy talking to a beautiful woman

We have seen many couples walking down the street or at a family dinner where the one question would always tug at our minds –” How did he manage to get someone out of his league?” So if you feel your chances of dating a hot, glamorous girl out of your league are grim, try out the below tried and tested tips while trying to woo a girl out of your league.

1. Get past her looks

A lot of guys want to date a good-looking woman only for the sheer fun of it – she is pretty and she can be arm candy. If you are really interested in her, ask yourself why would you want to date her? Is it because she’s hot or because you like the way she is? Of is it just to boost your social status, win a bet or make an ex jealous. That would be really cheap on your part, and you will not be successful.

But if you wish to date her to know her, and enjoy things that both of you like, then go ahead. Picture her in your head with a double chin and a few extra pounds – does she still appeal to you? If she does, you would always be sincere with her and that can make you win her, forever.

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2. Change your negative dating beliefs

Do not always limit yourself to the belief that girls date rich and handsome guys only. Ask any hot girl and she will tell you how shallow this all seems and how desperately she is looking for someone who’d like her beyond her looks! Someone who comes with just a rose but a heart full of love and eyes that gleam of affection. Someone who yearns to spend time with her, not the friends to show her off!

You must know someone who could prove this belief wrong and show that not all girls are the same. You simply have to rise above these negative beliefs and find yourself a dating partner, even if she is way hotter than you.

3. Get over the fear of rejection

Negative dating beliefs combined with the fear of hearing a ‘no’ push many guys out of the game of love. Step over that fear and pretend that she is ‘not’ out of your league. Some girls are haughty and rude, but not all girls are the same.

And you would have done your research on her before you’d actually made up your mind to woo her. Approach her with that make-believe courage and you’ll be surprised to hear a sweet ‘yes’.

4. Make the most of your friend zone

Sharing great friendships with women can actually give you more insight into what women really want. Your friends (who are girls) can actually help you drop your inhibitions around women and that way you move closer to her league. You will be surprised when you know that they are looking for simpler things in their life- not expensive cars and extravagant gifts!

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5. Treat her as someone special

The fastest way to win a girl is by making sure she is appreciated and is treated like a queen. Don’t just compliment her. Try to know the little things about her. What does she love doing when alone? How does she take her coffee? What does she fear the most? When you try to reach the real her and make her see how beautiful and special she is, there’s no way she will seem ‘out of your league’. She will seem like a really simple person beyond her clothes and reputation.

6. Be the real you

Don’t try to buy yourself into her heart by showering gifts, making extravagant promises, and making up stories about your life to impress her. Rather, be honest with your feelings. Talk about the genuine episodes of your life, ask her about her life. Share something real. Work on your sense of humor- which will stay with you even when other physical charms fade away. That will make her drop her league for you in the long run.

7. Build your self-confidence

Whether you make money, change your appearance, build six-pack abs, nothing is going to get you your girl until you work on your self-confidence. Get to the root of your insecurities and weed them out. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, focus on grooming your own talents. Maybe she is better looking, but you are the better guitarist. So why not try to work on your guitar skills to impress her? She may be out of your league, but once you decide to run that extra mile and work upon yourself, you will be in her league.

8. Show her you’re good enough

Most guys put a lot of effort into getting the attention of the girl without having any plans to sustain it. Once you have the girl’s attention, make sure she gets to see who you really are. Always be a gentleman, treating everyone with respect and honor. Never show off and don’t be a jerk whom she doesn’t even want to see. Take your time in knowing her and always be cordial and warm towards her. Do not act desperate for attention. Do not stalk her or make her feel unsafe – just be around her when she is in trouble. Be someone she can rely on; not someone who cracks cheap jokes at the expense of others. She will definitely start noticing you if you make sincere attempts on getting her attention.

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Girls who are approached the most are usually not treated with much respect or are asked for sexual favours. Show her that you’re not like the rest and are not looking for a short term sexual fling.

Keep in mind the above tips and work on them if you are serious about dating. Who knows, the next time you walk down the street with your girlfriend, everyone has a tough time answering – “how did he find someone way out of his league?” But you sure know the nuances of attracting and dating a woman.

And, you just smile your way on.

Oh, and one final note that’s always worked for me. No one is out of your league if you’ve got good game and are confident in yourself.

If you’ve already succeeded and have met a lovely girl, I say well done, sir. You earned her!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

New Book Coming Soon: BELOW THE WHEEL

After publishing Angel with a Broken Wing last Summer, my next thought was… what do I do now? Go to the beach?

After much rumination, I decided to write another book. I wanted to create a thriller/detective novel that took place near Philly. Should I try to make the story inspired by real events?

Maybe.

I also wanted to make it about a couple of guys that were friends and decided to go into business together.

Alex Hunter and Scott Appel are two ex-investment brokers turned private investigators. Burned out from the competitive sales environment of buying and selling stock, they open the Watchman Detective Agency in Camden, New Jersey.

During an unbearable heatwave, the guys are caught up in a bizarre case. The Camden Strangler, as the media call him, has been murdering prostitutes in the area.

It’s a hard-boiled police procedural, using the classic Hitchcockian premise of the common man getting caught up in extraordinary circumstances. I wanted to explore some of the darker elements of life but seen through the eyes of lighthearted unique characters. I also wanted something with a shorter, timeframe than my previous book.

Below the Wheel takes place over two weeks in the lives of the characters.

I hope to finish it in the next few months.

Planned Release Date: June 22, 2021

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Does Ignoring Someone You Like Make Them Want You More? Experts Say It Can Backfire

One of the most fun parts about dating or talking to someone new is the “texting” phase. Every time you hear your phone’s message notification, it feels like a little electric shock runs through your stomach. But should you reply right away, or is it better to play it a little “cool”? There is definitely something to say about the idea of wanting what you can’t have, but does ignoring someone you like make them want you more? According to Connell Barrett, Dating Transformation founder and executive dating coach, straight-up ignoring someone you’re crushing on not only doesn’t look good, but it may even come back to bite you in the end.

“I would never endorse ignoring someone,” says Barrett, calling the behavior potentially “manipulative.” However, he adds that it is sometimes a good idea to give someone you’re interested in some distance to feel your absence. “It’s OK to give someone the gift of missing you — to give them space and let them think about you a little bit.”

This is especially true when you are first getting to know one another, says Barrett, when it may actually be the most tempting to just leave them on read or ignore them completely. “If you’re in the early stages of dating, you want to avoid being overly eager, because that can come across as needy,” he explains. But Barrett adds that this doesn’t mean you should be rude or play mind games. “Rather than ignoring someone, you want to cultivate a full, rich, busy life, and people who lead busy lives will give the person they’re dating space because they’re not always texting and calling,” he says.

The issue, Barrett explains, is that purposefully ignoring someone is a mind game, and it’s inauthentic, which can easily backfire. So, his advice is to stay busy instead of just pretending to be busy. “Instead of ignoring someone, which creates the appearance of a full life, cultivate an actual fun, rich life, and then you won’t have to use tactics like ‘ignoring.’ You’ll just be busy, which does make you more attractive,” he says.

Barrett stresses that when you are interested in someone, it’s all about finding a balance between letting them know that you’re open to dating without coming off as “too eager”. “Dating is a dance, and part of that dance is not to be or appear needy or over-eager,” he explains. “Actively ignoring someone might work in the short term, but it usually backfires, because if there are mutual interest and chemistry, it will just come across as ‘game-playing’ and manipulation.”

What Barrett is ultimately getting at is that, if you want a real connection, you might want to just be authentic with the object of your affection. Sure, ignoring them may work in the short term, but you’re actually short-changing yourself by simply creating the artifice of a full life instead of striving to actually have one. It’s also easy to get caught up in a lie. So, maybe just give the mind games a pass and go ahead and reply to their texts instead.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

The Weirdest, Creepiest and Most Annoying Songs of the 70’s – Part 4

If you were like me in the 1970’s you listened to top 40 radio most of the time. You heard a lot of great songs and instant classics. But among them were many unforgettable songs that were just weird or strange. I’ve tried from memory to remember the ones that stand out in my mind.

For weird reasons they became hits. They either made no sense or having any musical merit. Just a bizarre era of story songs.

Of course, this stuff is all pretty subjective but I did have a few criteria for what should be here. I decided to include a song if it:

    • made me sick without even listening to it again
    • made me want to break my radio
    • made my stomach turn
    • brought out violent thoughts of hatred, revenge, etc.
    • reminded me how lame the radio and record companies are
    • could make me want to break my stereo
    • would make me leave a bar or club if they started playing it
    • would make me boo a band who started playing it
    • suspended my belief in a divine force that governs the universe
I’m not saying that there weren’t ANY good songs during the 70s but there was just a truck-load of waste back then. If anybody’s stupid enough to think that ALL disco sucks, remember that it’s just a bastard son of rhythm & blues just like rock’n’roll is- so they’re related, see? Also, the 1970s definitely didn’t have a monopoly on shitty music- there was tons of crap unleashed on us in the decade before and after and now also (there’s a future article there somewhere). Clothes-pin anyone?

The 70’s was an interesting time for music. There was a lot of experimentation and creativity from that decade, but there was also plenty of crap as well. Here is my list of the worst and most irritating songs of the 70’s.

 

Tony Orlando & Dawn -Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree – 1973

In the history of ubiquitous music, none are more annoying than Tony Orlando and Dawn’s peppy, 1920s-retro brain worm of a song. In May of 1973, the record sold 3 million copies in three weeks, and the song received three million airplays in 1973. Lounge singers immediately added it to their repertoires, and washed-up crooners like Jim Nabors, Connie Francis, and Bobby Goldsboro recorded their own versions. By the following summer, CBS gave Tony Orlando and Dawn their own TV variety show, replacing The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour.

My Ding a Ling – Chuck Berry – 1972

My Ding-a-Ling” is a novelty song written and recorded by Dave Bartholomew. It was covered by Chuck Berry in 1972 and became his only number-one Billboard Hot 100 single in the United States. Later that year, in a longer unedited form, it was included on the album The London Chuck Berry Sessions. Guitarist Onnie McIntyre and drummer Robbie McIntosh who later that year went on to form the Average White Band, played on the single along with Nic Potter of Van der Graaf Generator on bass.

I remember sitting in my friend RJ McMeans’s living room listening to records when somebody put this song on. Chuck Berry is a legendary guitarist and rock ‘n roller and he’s a brilliant artist. But when I heard this song, I was like… what the hell is this? Oh, it’s supposed to be funny. But it’s not. It’s juvenile.

We get it, Chuck. You’re singing a song about your dick.

No.

Half Breed – Cher – 1973

Half-Breed” is a 1973 song recorded by American singer-actress Cher with instrumental backing by L.A. sessions musicians from the Wrecking Crew. Recorded on May 21, 1973, at Larrabee Sound in Los Angeles. Lyrically, the song describes the life of a biracial girl from a white father and indigenous mother and it contains themes of racism and double standards. The song reached number one on the Billboard Hot 100, becoming Cher’s second solo number 1 hit in the US. The single was certified Gold in the US for the sales of over 1 million copies.

CHER HALF BREED MP3 | ukuzaderax

Cher… you’ve made the list again. We get it. You’re hot, but you’re Armenian, not Native American. Just because your then-husband Sonny Bono used to refer to you as Pocahontas on your TV show, this all seems inappropriate. But as always… we love you and your outfits.

Alone Again (Naturally) – Gilbert O’Sullivan – 1972

“Alone Again (Naturally)” is an introspective ballad, starting with the singer contemplating suicide after being left at the altar after his bride deserted him, and then telling about the death of his parents. O’Sullivan has said that the song is not autobiographical, as he did not know his father (who died when O’Sullivan was 11) very well, and that his father had mistreated his mother. Also, his mother was still alive when the song was written. O’Sullivan later commented “Neil Diamond covered “Alone Again (Naturally)” and said he couldn’t believe a 21-year-old wrote it, but for me, it was just one song I had written”. Neil Sedaka was similarly effusive in his praise for the song, stating as he covered the song in 2020 that he wished that he himself had written the song because its complexity was more typical of a man much older than 21. The song is included on O’Sullivan’s The Berry Vest of Gilbert O’Sullivan album (2004) on the EMI record label. Big Jim Sullivan plays the guitar break in the original recorded version of the song.

I remember hearing this song non-stop everywhere I went in 1972-1973. It was a sad song that eventually got on everyone’s nerves. But, I will say this. It’s a very sad, and melancholy song about depression and loss. I’ve suffered from anxiety and depression most of my life and I always had a place in my heart for this song. Something about the sound of his voice brings forth the story in a compelling way. It belongs on this list not because it’s weird or annoying, but because it’s a very unique work by this artist.

Don’t Give Up On Us – David Soul – 1977

Soul is the “actor” from the hit TV show, “Starsky and Hutch” This is when anybody that was on TV thought they could sing and capitalized on their stardom thinking they could sell records. This clown can’t sing and he allegedly hit women. ‘Nuff said.

Da Do Ron Ron – Shaun Cassidy – 1977

Ahh… I loved his half-brother David in the early 70s. I watched the Partridge Family every Friday night after the Brady Bunch. David was hot and had amazing hair and was a heartthrob for years.

The song is the first collaboration in songwriting by Jeff Barry, Ellie Greenwich, and Phil Spector. The song was composed over two days in Spector’s office in New York. The title “Da Doo Ron Ron” was initially just nonsense syllables used as dummy lines to separate each stanza and chorus until proper lyrics could be written, but Spector liked it so much that he kept it. Phil Spector did not want lyrics that were too cerebral that would interfere with a simple boy-meets-girl storyline.  The rhymes of the opening lines, “I met him on a Monday and my heart stood still … Somebody told me that his name was Bill” was inspired by Bill Walsh, a friend of Spector who happened to visit Spector while the three were writing the song.

If you’ve ever wondered what in the hell “da doo ron ron” means, stop worrying: it means nothing. The phrase was apparently just a filler phrase that songwriters Jeff Barry and Ellie Greenwich put in the lyrics until they could come up with something better, and Phil Spector told them it was perfect as it was. Really, dude?

This clown comes along and decides he wants to be a star, and we have this mess. It’s awful. Somebody realizes David Cassidy has a cute little brother. Let’s make money off of him. He comes running out onto the stage in this clip in what looks like silky pajamas. He has zero stage presence and keeps flipping his hair. Just awful!

I remember my sister met some guy named Chuck who so wanted to be this guy. He even wore a white silk jacket with no shirt. A ridiculous fool that my sister hated. I remember that idiot came sniffing around my house looking for my sister and talking to me. He seemed like a jerk as he gyrated his hips in his dumb jacket thinking he looked like Shaun Cassidy. Please go play in the rip-tide, Chuck.

Oh, one final thing. Listen to how the English guy announces the name of the song at the beginning of the video.

Shdadoo Ran Run?

Let Her In – John Travolta – 1976

This is the 1976 debut single by John Travolta, the first release from his second album. It spent five months on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100, peaking at number 10. It also reached number 16 on the Adult Contemporary chart. On the Cash Box chart, the song peaked at number five. In Canada, “Let Her In” reached number seven.

“Let Her In” was released at the end of the first year of the four-year run of Welcome Back, Kotter, in which Travolta starred.

This song was his first and only top-ten hit as a solo artist in the United States, and the biggest hit of his in any country not to be tied to the movie Grease. It was included in his 1978 double-album compilation, Travolta Fever.

Vinnie Barbarino, one of the sweat hogs on Welcome Back, Kotter makes good. John solidified his stardom with that show, Grease and Saturday Night Fever. Travolta was a huge star for a minute back then. He later dissolved into a bunch of forgettable roles, but his career was later resurrected by Quentin Tarantino in 1994.

God… this song is terrible.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

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