Breakfast Cereal – Part 2

Philadelphia, PA – 1960s-1970s

Frosted Flakes: These were great. Tony the Tiger as their spokesperson always yelling They’re GRRRReat! Can’t beat him as a pitchman.

Froot Loops: Those colored fruity Cheerios. (They all tasted the same to me)Toucan Sam telling us about how his Nose, Knows that this is a delicious cereal and we should eat it every day.

Apple Jacks: Just another variety of Fruit Loops. But didn’t these have some sort of crystalized dark bits on them or am I thinking of something else? I liked these just the same.

Rice Krispies: Three little chefs named Snap, Crackle, and Pop represent this brand. Remember how if you put your ear to the bowl to listen for that sound? Just little puffs absorbing the milk made that sound. It was more like a hissing sound to me.

Cocoa Krispies: Same thing except with a chocolatey taste added.

Lucky Charms: A sustaining classic. I had these once as a kid and liked them. But I think my dad put the kibosh on this cereal early on. Just more sugary crap! So we didn’t really eat this cereal as a kid. But I would never turn it down if ever offered this as a snack. But here’s the thing. Because the marshmallow stars, moon, hearts, and clovers were large, (The size of m&ms) the dish was very sugary. So if you ate the cereal by itself, it was sure plain and boring. (Like original Cheerios) But who didn’t love the little Leprechaun? Everybody was always trying to steal his Luck Charms to no avail.

Trix: This cereal began as these tiny hollow balls that were different colors like fruit loops. They eventually changed their shape in later years. Maybe the balls became too expensive to make anymore. But How can we forget that screwy rabbit that was always trying to get the cereal away from the kids in the commercial? “Silly Rabbit! Trix are for kids!”

Alpha-Bits: I liked these. A cereal takes on the alphabet soup theme. They tasted just like Honey Comb to me. I used to try to make bad words out of the letters in my cereal bowl. Nothing like starting your day with a nice bowl of Alpha-Bits where you see the word Sh*t floating in there. Kids!

Super Sugar Crisps: These were good but got soggy quickly. Wasn’t the mascot a bear in a striped sweater who acted cool all the time? Did he sing like Bing Crosby or something? Bizarre.

Sugar Smacks: I think this was similar to sugar crisps but were represented by a frog maybe?

Sugar Pops or Corn Pops: This is a good cereal that I like to eat to this day. But aren’t they the same?

Cap’n Crunch: This guy is the CEO of breakfast cereals. I loved these crunchy little squares. They didn’t get soggy, and I could eat bowls of this fine cereal. He was cool, because he had a crew, and there was even a bad pirate in the commercials I think. John La Foote? Lafite? Not sure. But a damn fine cereal and one of my all-time favorites.

King Vitamin: Just when you think they can’t make a cereal that’s better than Cap’n Crunch, they make this cereal. It was exactly the same product as CC, but they were in the shape of little crowns. (They looked more like little gears to me) But, they were crunchier and sweeter than CC. So this became my favorite cereal in the early 70s. I remember the song. “King Vitamin! Have breakfast with the king!”

Franken Berry, Count Chocula, and Boo Berry: Again… flavored Cheerios. Strawberry, Chocolate, and I’m assuming Blueberry. I loved Franken Berry cereal. It was another one of my all-time favorites. I wasn’t a fan of real strawberries but I liked this cereal. I consumed tons of it back in the 70s. One of my favorite things to do was have it as a snack too. My mom would pour it into a bowl and I would eat it dry. But there was a method to my madness. I would first consume all of the cereal and leave all of the tiny marshmallows at the bottom of the bowl. I would then gather them all up in my hands and form them into one big ball with my fingers. It would be a little bigger than a golf ball. I would then proceed to eat it. It was like a ball of candy at the end of your snack. A fitting, sugary dessert to top off your day. I remember the characters referring to the marshmallows in the cereal as “Sweeties” which I thought was weird because it was obvious what they were. They later referred to the sweeties as marshmallows. (Probably got a call from my dad)

I never had Count Cocula, but my friend Wayne used to eat it religiously. He said the only thing was, it turned the milk nearly black at the end and that just seemed gross. Boo Berry? he came late to the game and I never had that one either. Nobody cares about Boo Berry. He’s just a ghost.

Honey Comb: “Come to the Honey Comb hideout. Gonna eat and gonna play. Gonna live in the Honey Comb Hideout! Eatin’ Honey Comb every day!” That was the jingle from the commercial. It would be my dream in life to live in the Honeycomb hideout and eat honeycomb every day, sir. I like this cereal. It was big. Bigger than it probably is now. each bit was bigger than a quarter. It looked like a little beehive and those holes held the milk. Delicious. But that wasn’t the best part of this great cereal.

On the back of each box, they had somehow through the miracle of modern 70s technology managed to press a record on the back of the box. yes, my friends. When you were done eating all of the cereal, you could cut the record off the back of the box and it would actually play on your record player. The first ones were Archie songs but the later ones were by The Monkees! I played the song Mary, Mary by the Monkees so many times once my mother told me if she heard that song one more time she was going to strangle me.

The best part was, I never waited to finish the box of cereal. We would be home from the market and I would convince my mom to dump out the cereal into jars so I could get at that record on the back of the box TODAY!

Thanks for always letting me do that, Mom.

Freakies: This was actually a really tasty cereal. It was O-shaped and sort of tasted like a cross between Cap’n Crunch and Apple Jacks I think. I liked it and in each box, you got a different little Freaky character from the commercial. They were just little plastic figures that were like army men. Boss Moss was green. He was the leader obviously. Grumble was orange and always miserable like Oscar from Sesame Street. I think there was a girl freaky as well. They were cute little creatures and I liked the cereal. I remember we kept getting Grumbles over and over. At one point it was like… “Ahh… another Grumble. (Just pitches him into the trash)

Quisp and Quake: I love this one. I only ate Quisp as a kid. The cereal was shaped like little bowls. (flying saucers) Quisp was a little cartoon alien dude, and Quake was a burly man. In the commercials, they were always trying to prove who was the better cereal. It was a cute marketing campaign. Create a completion between the two brands. But here’s the thing we all knew even as kids. Quisp and Quake tasted exactly the same. They were just different shapes. Who were these clowns fooling? Not us kids!

I remember once they decided to have the two characters compete in a race from Long Island New York to Lompoc California. This was to settle who was the better cereal. I followed this competition very closely on TV commercials and the backs of the cereal boxes. Here’s the thing. Neither of them ever made it or completed the race. Quisp was left on the market and Quake disappeared from store shelves. It was bizarre.

Kix: I think I had this cereal once in the late 70s or early 80s. Just another cereal that tasted like puffed balls of Cap’n Crunch. They really only had a few recipes for cereal back then I guess. Just change the shape and the marketing campaign and you got yourself a brand new cereal. Bu the one thing that really stands out in my mind was the jingle on the commercials. I would be watching TV with my friend, and it would come on.  The little kid would start the song, “Kids like Kix for what Kix has got!” and then the mom would finish the line, “Mom’s like Kix for what Kix has not”. (this meant kids liked the taste, and moms liked that it was low in sugar) But when my vile little friends and I would hear this little diddy we’d always change the lyrics to something dirty. I won’t repeat it here, because Google Adsense will probably suspend the advertising on my site. But you get the idea. See what you can come up with…

Oh’s: My favorite cereal of the 80s. I loved this cereal. I should probably see if they still make it. Again. Cap’n Crunch-shaped O’s with some sort of sugary substance in the hole. Loved these crunchy morsels. Great cereal!

Fruity Pebbles: This is just fruit-flavored rice crispies.

Here are some links to some further reading on this subject:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_breakfast_cereals

https://clickamericana.com/topics/food-drink/40-favorite-breakfast-cereals-1967

https://www.metv.com/lists/lost-breakfast-cereals-of-the-1960s-and-1970s

https://delishably.com/breakfast/Breakfast-Cereal-Favorites-of-Yesteryear

The 50 Greatest  Breakfast Cereal Prizes of all time:

https://www.mrbreakfast.com/list.asp?id=6

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Why Your Marriage Will Most Likely End in Divorce (And Why It’s Completely Normal)

Maybe we weren’t all meant to live happily ever after.

What are the most common reasons for divorce and why is the divorce rate so high?

Learning what percentage of marriages end in divorce may make you seriously wonder why.

It’ll make our lives so much better.

Even when standing at the altar, assume marriage isn’t for eternity.

Instead, assume someday you might want out.

And not just you. That person standing there with you, too.

In that world, we’ll have happier marriages with more honest communication and expectations.

And happier divorces, as well. No failure. No gloom. Just a normal, expected outcome.

In our modern world, half of the marriages end in divorce.

We know that. We know divorced people. We couldn’t care less.

Do we go around shaming people thinking of divorce? Or ostracizing divorcees? This is just stating the obvious, right?

Still, we have a hard time embracing that “till death do us part” is a Santa Claus fantasy for grownups – and an often harmful one.

If we can admit that marriage is rarely forever, we’ll save so many from stress, anguish, and the guilt-ridden and shame-inducing delusion that divorce is a failure.

It’s not. It’s typical.

I’m not saying that happy couples should break up.

If you find a soulmate for life, congrats. I’m jealous.

But if you’re an average human and don’t (or can admit you probably won’t) find that forever love, then get rid of the pressure to remain content with just one partner for your whole life.

What do you have to gain?

This is not cold or unromantic.

We genuinely love our partners when we say “I do.”

Many of us still love them even when it’s time for a divorce. Just…not in the same way. Or maybe we don’t love them anymore.

That’s not an indictable offense.

These are normal life changes — not crimes or sins — and they’re no reason to turn feelings of guilt and shame into fire aimed at a partner.

On the contrary, the commonality and inevitability of such life changes is a reason to keep breakups amicable, fair, and even loving.

This is also not making moral or value judgments on the sanctity of marriage, the importance of commitment, or the necessity to continuously work on our relationships.

It’s just trying to provide a common-sense answer to a common-sense question: Should marriage be expected to continue forever?

Forever is a long time.

If we get hitched at, say, 30, and live to say, 80, why, that’s 50 years.

How many relationships — how many anythings — last 50 years?

How many business partnerships?

How many people live in the same house for 50 years? The same city?

How many close friends stay close friends that long?

I know, most consider marriage more important and sacred than such things.

Which is even more reason to view marriage with deep honesty and compassion.

If something’s really sacred, why lie to ourselves about it?

The truth remains: even happy, successful marriages — with couples that do the work and collaborate, forgive and recommit — even they probably aren’t going to be content for 50 years.

And that’s ok. Successful or otherwise, marriages should just…end successfully. They often do.

We see examples of famed “conscious uncouplings” like that of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin, but also of everyday folks who quietly and amicably move on.

Even with children. Kids today are surrounded by divorce: their social networks are filled with single parents and kids of split families. It’s normal to them.

Of course, kids are unhappy if mom and dad break up, but, if handled properly, they’re not shocked, scandalized, or scarred.

Forever is a nearly unattainable objective, born of bygone eras when marriages were business deals brokered for merging families, finances, or bloodlines.

Or when “till death do us part” was a much briefer journey, when people in their 50s and 60s slowed down and retired from energetic activity, to sit in rocking chairs waiting for the undertaker.

But happily, those days are gone.

We’re going to live to be 80, 90, 100, with, if we’re lucky, active brains and bodies pretty much to the end.

We should be free to pursue happiness throughout our long, healthy lives.

That often means allowing ourselves to start over.

Fresh beginnings. Second, third, or fourth chances.

Unconstrained by antiquated notions about contracts for life.

It’s ok to want that. It’s ok to go for it.

Still, even in modernity, we keep telling ourselves that divorce is a failure or needs to be a war.

But for what, exactly? Judging our lives based on criteria created eons ago by people who thought the sun revolved around the Earth?

I hope marriages last forever. I just know they usually don’t. And I’m good with that.

We’re messy humans. That’s just who we are. And pretending otherwise can do more harm than good.

In today’s world, “till death do us part” may be the dumbest oath ever.

Let’s stop saying it.

The Absolute Dater – Making Online Dating Easy Again

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7 Grounding Techniques To Calm Anxiety When You’re This Close To Losing It

Because it happens to all of us. I’ve suffered from anxiety and depression most of my life. But as I’ve gotten older I learned to rewire my brain and spank those demons and make them pay.

And you can too.

No one is immune to feeling anxious at least on occasion. And no matter who or what it is that sparks your pending eruption, knowing how to calm down the anxiety and anger you feeling when you’re seriously this close to losing it can save you and those around you a lot of collateral damage.

Life happens, and a simple chain of events can slowly stoke a fire within you. Then all it takes is one “he said/she said” or “they did/they didn’t” to push you across the threshold into this close-to-losing-it territory.

Once you’ve learned some effective grounding techniques and coping skills for calming anxiety, calling upon them can be far more empowering than impulsively unleashing your fury ever will be.

Here are seven tips on how to calm down when you’re feeling anxious using simple grounding techniques and positive coping skills.

1. Excuse yourself, gracefully

Leave the room, the situation, the area, or park the car, but get yourself to a safe place. That can even mean staying right where you are until the heat of it subsides.

It may be a big test of your inner strength not to storm out of a situation while huffing, puffing, slamming chairs and doors, but do it with grace anyway.

Depending on the circumstance, leaving may not be possible or ideal. Take a deep breath before asking for a time out (or simply informing them that you are taking one), and be sure to do so in a calm and controlled way — even if you have to fake it.

Graceful exits may also mean hitting pause by drinking a glass of water and feeling it dampen your fire. If no water is handy, you can imagine it.

Leaving in a civilized way, either literally or virtually through a pause, versus going into full throttle bulldozer mode can be the step that helps quell your eruption from spewing.

2. Put pen to paper

Intense anxiety or anger can be vanquished by saying what you feel you have to say on paper rather than directly to the object of your frustration.

Kick it old school by handwriting everything that is on your mind so you can vent about this current situation.

The benefits of handwriting as opposed to typing it into a text message or email are twofold:

  • You can’t accidentally click send and unleash your unfiltered thoughts, feeling, and words into someone’s inbox
  • When you finish venting, you can shred the pages with your bare hands (another bonus), leaving no digital trace that may inadvertently be found later

Handwriting has been proven more cathartic than typing, and as well as to help improve critical thinking and problem-solving skills. And being this close to losing it needs solving.

And as explained by Eric Grunwald of MIT’s Global Studies and Languages Department, “Freewriting, a writing strategy developed by Peter Elbow in 1973, is similar to brainstorming but is written in sentence and paragraph form without stopping. Thus, it [increases[ the flow of ideas and reduces the chance that you’ll accidentally censor a good idea,” which can add another level of efficacy in reducing your angst.

3. Visualize the old heave-ho

Fantasizing about flipping the desk over, clearing the table in one swipe, or playing Frisbee with your laptop. It feels good and satisfying, doesn’t it?!

Visualization, also known as imagery, has been a tool employed by Olympians and other elite athletes for decades, and there is much evidence backing its efficacy for putting desired outcomes into motion without ever leaving the room.

How far can you imagine your laptop will actually fly? How well does it bounce?

Keeping your action-packed fantasy in your head allows you to see the action, feel your muscles contracting, hear the thud of your desk, taste and smell the scene in excruciating detail, without leaving an unpleasant mess to clean up afterward.

When you are this close to losing it, you are so wrapped up in the instant gratification of the moment that you don’t see the final scene — the one where you have to pick up the pieces and clean up the debris, all while shrouded in regret, remorse, guilt, and shame for literally following through with your actions.

4. Get tactile

When you are in overdrive and your foot is fully depressed on the accelerator on the thisclose freeway, take the off-ramp by redirecting some resources from that feeling and shifting them to a tactile action like counting your toes.

With the bulk of your attention invested in your current state, very little of you is connected to the physical.

Whether you are standing or sitting, wiggle your toes and notice how many you can feel. Press each individual toe into your shoe and count them, one toe and one foot at a time. Repeat and repeat again.

By counting your toes, you begin to re-ground yourself. You can go further by scanning your body and noticing how your shoe feels or how the fabrics you are wearing feel against your body or what the chair you are sitting in feels like.

This is especially effective when you are in a situation you cannot dismiss yourself from. Tuning into your body helps to calm the mind, and therefore, your emotions.

5. Catch your breath

When in a high emotional state, your breathing becomes rapid and shallow, which in turn moves you closer to losing it because it’s like fanning the flames of a fire to burn bigger.

Box breathing or four-square breathing is a grounding technique used by Navy SEALs you can put into action no matter where you are and is a highly effective way to get back into control of yourself when things are reeling out of control.

  • Inhale slowly to the count of five
  • Hold for a count of five
  • Exhale slowly to the count of five
  • Hold for a count of five
  • Repeat

As Healthline reports: “According to the Mayo Clinic, there’s sufficient evidence that intentional deep breathing can actually calm and regulate the autonomic nervous system (ANS). This system regulates involuntary body functions such as temperature. It can lower blood pressure and provide an almost immediate sense of calm.”

Deep breathing also delivers more oxygen to the muscles you are clenching as they begin to release with each cycle you repeat, essentially disarming the cortisol accumulation simultaneously.

6. Get physical

Dropping down and doing ten push-ups to burn off your anxious or angry energy may not be appropriate at the time, but taking yourself out for a brisk walk can help.

Being in nature helps calm the sympathetic nervous system (your “fight, flight or freeze” response), and putting your pent-up energy into your pace can help to return you to calm.

Even when you can’t get outside to commune with nature, you can use the power of your mind to take you wherever you decompress best.

Maybe your happy place is a white sandy beach where the ocean waves wash all your stresses away. Or perhaps it’s riding down the open highway on your motorcycle, sitting under a tree, or climbing a mountain.

Creating or recalling an image that brings life back into perspective is only a thought away.

7. Grab onto gratitude

Chances are, in a moment when you are trying to figure out how to calm down, you are as far away from feeling grateful as you can get.

However, you always have the power of choice, and flexing your gratitude muscle may effectively diffuse the situation.

Bring to mind someone who you are wholly grateful for, or think of ten things you are grateful for in your life. Feel that gratitude infuse your body and mind.

We cannot feel fully grateful or fully enraged at the same time, so go with the positive feelings gratitude evokes.

Most importantly, you can think about how grateful you will feel for not losing it when you don’t, as well as how proud you are of yourself for keeping it together in this volatile moment in time. Remind yourself that feeling this close to losing it is temporary, and gratitude is the long game.

Keeping a gratitude journal and choosing to be intentionally grateful for the people and things that add value to your life helps sustain you in times like this.

Gratitude acts as an antidote to stress. The benefits of giving thanks in our life are endless, especially helping us to build our resilience overall.

Be aware that not any one of these tips is guaranteed to work for you every single time you need to calm yourself down.

You need to find your combination of tools to get you on the other side of losing it, and all are most effective when sampled and practiced before you need them.

Regardless of how few or how many you need to use these techniques and skills, it’s worth the effort, in the end, to find what works best for you.

The Absolute Dater – Making Online Dating Easy Again

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

14 Subtle Dating Tricks the Most Attractive Men Use That Have Women Falling at Their Feet

Do you understand exactly how attraction works?

Do you wonder why women may not be attracted to you? Do you want to know how to get a girlfriend?

It takes time to understand how to attract women and how to get a girl to like you.

So that dating advice about lousy pick-up lines, games, and not being who you are do little when it comes to attracting the right woman in your life, as well as getting her to want you more, sexually!

There are guys out there that walk into a room and girls just gravitate towards them. Then, there are also men who never worry about how to get girls.

Then there’s you, the man who wonders “Why can’t I get a girlfriend or get a woman to go on a second date?”

It’s because your character traits and personal attributes are not standing out in social scenes nor getting attention from the opposite sex.

The number one key to how to be more attractive to women is to be appealing to yourself.

You must see yourself in the way you want women to see you.

This is called inner confidence and you cannot fake inner confidence. As time goes on, it shows.

Women want to be dating a man who is highly desirable, and who also knows how desirable he is.

Women love to feel like they worked for something and won a prize and someone strong (like the way men feel like they won a prize too).

It holds more value to be in a relationship with someone who holds themselves of value.

Men often place women they date on a pedestal. But the only one that should be on the pedestal is you!

I’m not saying to disrespect women and not do great things for her when it comes to making life decisions.

But, respect flows and becomes easier when you see yourself in a respectable manner and not have to place anyone before you because you are enough!

In today’s society, it’s very confusing and challenging to identify yourself as a strong or confident man.

You have people telling you to hold your masculinity, to not be “unfit” in society’s eyes. But, all of that disappears when you stand in power to honor who you are and exactly what you want as a man.

Here are 14 dating tips that attractive men in relationships know when they want to get a girlfriend and get girls to like them.

1. Dress-up

Many women love when a man takes the time to invest in his appearance. When you invest in your appearance, it shows a woman that you have class and you like nice things in life.

Let’s be honest, we all do. This is not to say this woman will use you or just wants you for money, but she’s attracted to something that you can offer her.

Wearing a suit does not mean that you are rich and will attract gold-diggers, but it does say that you got your “stuff” together!

If it’s not a suit make sure you keep up and express fashion as a well put together man.

2. Have a passion

When a woman sees that she is not your number one priority but still a priority in your life, this helps with the attraction phase.

You don’t have to be rich you have to have a passion.

When you voice your passion with a woman, it can open up some personal deep level conversations with her which women are attracted to, emotionally.

After asking 300 women if they would rather have a man that has a passion or no passion and just money, 91 percent said a passion. That’s pretty high!

3. Walk with confidence

This means stand straight up. Chin up, shoulders back, chest out, tuck your stomach in, make eye contact, and smile.

This gives you a sense of stability and pride in others. All these attributes go a long way, especially with first impressions.

4. Be positive

Energy is how you become attractive to women and people! Women are addicted to men who have a positive outlook on life.

It shows that you have no attachment to drama and you will do what it takes to have a happy life. It also shows that you have done a lot of personal work and people want in.

It’s like an unsolved mystery that everyone wants. Mastering this will give you so much more control.

5. Pay attention to your conversations

Want to know how to get girls? Don’t talk about your flaws or your down points. Talk about positive things in life and not the ex-girlfriend that cheated on you. Who really needs to know this, honestly?

It’s not always healthy to talk about past relationships. Start this new one with a clean slate and don’t downplay your qualities when attracting a woman.

6. Call the shots

If you want to take her out on a date, call it a date! Call her when you say you will. Tell her you are busy today but free tomorrow and would like to get a drink together at 7 pm.

Call the shots to show you’re busy, but also show that you are making time for her.

7. Set boundaries and show the value

Never be submissive to your values in hopes to compliment hers. Set boundaries on what is healthy and what is not and if you see red flags, point them out right away so she knows what you will and will not tolerate.

Many men think this will push women away but it does the exact opposite.

8. Have a lasting impact

You think that by just showing up, you will attract a woman. But you aren’t trying to show your positive attributes and make a lasting impression.

Whether you’re just trying to play it safe, be nice, or are just lazy, stop it!

Strive to impact her all the time by keeping up with witty banter and saying “no” if you don’t want to do something or don’t agree.

Don’t be afraid to crack a joke from time to time and challenge her to show up for you.

9. Have a sense of humor

Women love to find a man that can make them laugh. This does not mean that you have to say a knock-knock joke, but it does mean that you have to let your positive personality traits shine through.

Be witty and show her humor. Make fun of her in a respectful light banter way.

10. Be carefree

Women find a sense of curiosity in a dangerous or “rebel” type man. If she’s asking you a complicated question that you don’t want to answer, just smile and wink. This isn’t up for debate.

Challenge yourself to solve things when it’s the right time and not only on her watch.

Also, try something that you want to do. Be spontaneous. Do something that scares you and invite her with you next time.

11. Master your “swag”

Control your conversations. Moments of silence show your confidence. Don’t always talk too much or try to over-speak her. Just be calm and relaxed around her.

Once you do this, you can use your “swag” to charm her by being relaxed and confident within your own self.

12. Be social and busy

Women like to know that you are making time for her, even when you’re busy. She will feel appreciated and this draws attraction.

13. Be thoughtful

Remember to pay attention to the things she says so you can surprise her with something thoughtful. Generosity is a form of attraction when it isn’t used often.

You don’t want to shower her with compliments and tell her she’s beautiful all the time, but you want to remember the things that she likes.

By delivering this, you score substantial attraction points! Find out her favorites dishes, activities, and hobbies and recreate these on a date.

14. Make the first move

It’s a win-win when you make the first move. Not only are you trying to take control of the situation but you’re getting your answer no matter what. Most of the time if you gauge it correctly, she’ll be into it too.

Once you change your mindset and hone this list of positive character traits, you will become more attractive to women.

Many guys think that attracting a woman means that you have to have a massive amount of wealth, success, beauty, or be famous. This is entirely not true!

Of course, being on top of your game helps but what stands out the most is being the best version of yourself. There is nothing more attractive to a woman than a man who represents himself as a man of power.

Power does not mean money or fame. Power means your personal existence.

This confidence and your inner well-being reflect how you act, and if you think that you are coming from a place of lacking, people will see you as coming from a place of lacking.

If you’re high on life, people will feel your energy and want to get more of it, and they will consistently want to find out more about you and be around you.

This shows that you truly know who you are and this gives off a sense of stability and security to women.

A woman with a healthy mindset wants a healthy relationship with a stable man who holds his own self-worth.

The women who aren’t in this healthy mindset will be the ones you have to stay away from. There are women out there who will use you for attention and/or affection, so they feel wanted, loved, or needed.

But here is the key point when you are in this healthy stable mentality as a man.

A man with a healthy and stable mentality can easily spot women who aren’t in a healthy mindset.

You can say “no” to giving them your heart because you’re putting yourself first.

And when you’re putting yourself first, you are going to see a flock of women or the woman you desire to chase you down.

Now that you have the tools to become the man you want to be, use them and implement them daily.

Remember: you hold the potential. You do not have to be the hottest guy, you do not have to have all your hair, you don’t have to be the tallest man, and you don’t have to be the wealthiest man.

But you do need to know how to control your mindset from focusing on the negative qualities and work on enhancing your positive personality characteristics.

Stop comparing yourself to others and stop beating yourself down about what is not happening for you at this moment.

Start thinking and working towards how you can make this happen. The key is within you.

Use your tools wisely and know that you can attract the woman you want into your life if you focus on not obsessing over her and instead of obsessing over yourself!

The Absolute Dater – Making Online Dating Easy Again

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Why Do We Kiss? Science Explains Why People Kiss To Show Affection

What makes this intimate act so fascinating?

Pecking, smooching, French kissing, and playing tonsil-hockey — there are as many names for kissing as there are ways to do it. Whether we use it as an informal greeting or an intensely romantic gesture, kissing is one of those ingrained human behaviors that seem to defy explanation.

Its many purposes — a blow and peck for good luck on dice, lips to the ground after a rocky boat ride, kisses in the air to an acquaintance, and the long slow smooches of Hollywood — have different meanings yet are similar in nature.

Why is it that we love to pucker up? Why do we kiss at all?

Kissing is more than just showing affection.

Philematologists, the scientists who study kissing, aren’t exactly sure why humans started locking lips in the first place. The most likely theory is that it stems from primate mothers passing along chewed food to their toothless babies.

The lip-to-lip contact may have been passed on through evolution, not only as a necessary means of survival but also as a general way to promote social bonding and as an expression of love.

But something’s obviously happened to kissing since the time of the chewed food pass. Now, it’s believed that kissing helps transfer critical information, rather than just meat bits.

The kissing we associate with romantic courtship may help us to choose a good mate, send chemical signals, and foster long-term relationships. All of this is important in evolution’s ultimate goal — successful procreation.

Kissing allows us to get close enough to a mate to assess essential characteristics about them, none of which we’re consciously processing. Part of this information exchange is most likely facilitated by pheromones, chemical signals that are passed between animals to help send messages.

We know that animals use pheromones to alert their peers of things like mating, food sources, and danger, and researchers hypothesize that pheromones can play a role in human behavior as well.

Although the vomeronasal organs, which are responsible for pheromone detection and brain function in animals, are thought to be vestigial and inactive in humans, research indicates we do communicate with chemicals.

The first study to indicate that chemical signals play a role in attraction was conducted by Claud Wedekind, over a decade ago. Women sniffed the worn t-shirts of men and indicated which shirts smelled best to them.

By comparing the DNA of the women and the men, researchers found that women didn’t just choose their favorite scent randomly. They preferred the scent of a man whose major histocompatibility complex (MHC) — a series of genes involved in our immune system — was different from their own.

Having a different MHC means less immune overlap and a better chance of healthy, robust offspring.

Kissing may be a subtle way for women to assess the immune compatibility of a mate before she invests too much time and energy in him. Perhaps a bad first kiss means more than first date jitters — it could also mean a real lack of chemistry.

Men are sloppy and women are choosy when it comes to kissing.

Behavioral research supports this biological reasoning. In 2007, researchers at the University of Albany studied 1,041 college students and found significant differences in how males and females perceived kissing.

Although common in courtship, females put more importance on kissing, and most would never have sex without kissing first. Men, on the other hand, would have sex without kissing beforehand; they would also have sex with someone who wasn’t a good kisser.

Since females across species are often the choosier ones when it comes to mate selection, these differences in kissing behavior make sense.

Men are also more likely to initiate French kissing, and researchers hypothesize that this is because saliva contains testosterone, which can increase libido.

Researchers also think that men might be able to pick up on a woman’s level of estrogen, which is a predictor of fertility.

Why do people kiss? It’s more than just biological reasons.

But kissing isn’t all mating practicality — it also feels good. That’s because kissing unleashes a host of feel-good chemicals, helping to reduce stress and increase social bonding.

Researcher Wendy Hill and colleagues at Lafayette College looked at how oxytocin, which is involved in pair-bonding and attachment, and cortisol, a stress hormone, changed after people kissed.

Using a small sample of college couples that were in long-term relationships, they found cortisol levels decreased after kissing.

The longer the couples had been in a relationship, the further their levels dropped. Cortisol levels also decreased for the control group — couples that just held hands — indicating that social attachment, in general, can decrease stress levels, not just kissing.

Looking at oxytocin levels, the researchers found that they increased only in the males, whereas the researchers thought it would increase in both sexes.

They hypothesized that it could be that women need more than a kiss to stimulate attachment and bonding, or that the sterile environment of the research lab wasn’t conducive to creating a feeling of attachment.

Kissing, therefore, plays a role not only in mate selection but also in bonding.

At an Association for the Advancement of Science meeting on the science of kissing, Helen Fischer, an evolutionary biologist, posits multiple reasons for lip-locking. She believes that kissing is involved in the three main types of attraction humans have: sex drive, which is ruled by testosterone; romantic love, which is ruled by dopamine and other feel-good hormones; and attachment, which involves bonding chemicals like oxytocin.

Kissing, she postulates, evolved to help on all three fronts.

Saliva, swapped during romantic kisses, has testosterone in it; feel-good chemicals are distributed when we kiss that help fuel romance; and kissing also helps unleash chemicals that promote bonding, which provides for long-term attachment, necessary for raising offspring.

No, not all humans (or species) partake in kissing.

Some mammals have close contact with each others’ faces via licking, grooming, and sniffing, which may transmit the necessary information. And although chimps may pass food from mother to child, the notoriously promiscuous bonobos are apparently the only primates that truly kiss.

And while it’s thought that 90 percent of the human population kisses, there’s still the 10 percent that doesn’t.

So, it seems that as much as we use kissing to gather genetic and compatibility information, our penchant for kissing also has to do with our cultural beliefs surrounding it.

Whether we live in a place where kissing is reserved for close acquaintances, or somewhere where a casual greeting means a one, two, or three cheeker, one thing does remain highly consistent: the side to which people turn while kissing.

It’s almost always to the right. A 2003 study published in Nature found that twice as many adults turn their heads to the right rather than the left when kissing. This behavioral asymmetry is thought to stem from the same preference for head-turning during the final weeks of gestation and during infancy.

One of the best things about kissing, however, is that we don’t have to think about any of this. Just close our eyes, pucker up, and let nature takes its course!

The Absolute Dater – Making Online Dating Easy Again

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1