Jane Seymour on Finding New Love in Her Late-60s: No Tinder

This Oct. 6, 2019 photo shows actress Jane Seymour posing at The Four Seasons Hotel in Los Angeles to promote her role in “The Kominsky Method.” (Photo by Rebecca Cabage/Invision/AP)

Jane Seymour was in her mid-60s when her husband of 20 years decided it was over. The actress was floored.

“I had a long marriage and never thought it was going to end,” the 68-year-old said recently while promoting the second season of Netflix’s “The Kominsky Method,” co-starring Michael Douglas and Alan Arkin.

“I’m going, ‘I what? I date? What? Are you crazy? How does this work?’” Seymour said. “And then my kids would say, ‘Mom, there’s this thing called Tinder.’ And I’m like, ‘No, that’s not going to happen.’”

But similar to her character in “The Kominsky Method” who runs into an old flame, fate intervened, and Seymour stumbled upon a new romance. She has been with boyfriend and British film director David Green since 2014, about a year after her divorce from filmmaker James Keach, who directed “Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman,” Seymour’s iconic role.

“Accidentally I ran into somebody I knew 38 years earlier who had been in a long marriage and his marriage ended,” she said. “It wasn’t his choice and my marriage ended, it wasn’t my choice. And we randomly met accidentally 38 years later and realized we were free, and we’ve been together ever since. So I do not have to date.”

Her experience drew Seymour to “The Kominsky Method,” in which she plays Madelyn, who reconnects with Arkin’s character (Norman) at a funeral following the deaths of their spouses.

“I do get this whole thing of having a relationship with someone that’s contemporary, you know?” Seymour said. “We’re both dealing with older children, exes, and our future … how long will we live? How can we stay healthy? How can we tick off our bucket list? Do we still want to work or do we feel like we’ve only just started, which is the case with me and David?”

The Emmy- and Golden Globe-winning actress has four children and two stepchildren from her four marriages.

On top of acting and a busy family life, Seymour designs furniture and jewelry. Seymour recently had a one-woman art show in Washington, D.C., she writes books, runs a nonprofit, and produces movies.

“I do what I do because I love it,” she said. “I don’t think of it ever as a job … It’s called living. So I don’t see retiring. You don’t retire from life.”

In fact, Seymour said her own children have a tough time keeping up with her.

“Inside of me, I’m 20. OK? I hang out with my 23-year-old boys, and the other day I was with them running around Europe and they said, ‘Mom, can you slow down?’” she said. “I went, ‘No, this is the pace at which I go and you are a third of my age, so you better just catch up with Mama.’ I just love life.”

With age, she said, has come “more of a freedom in kind of accepting who I am and what I look like and how I feel now than I did when I was younger when I was trying maybe too hard to be something.”

Seymour first caught the eye of audiences when she played Bond girl Solitaire in 1973’s “Live and Let Die.” Asked what it’s like to be a sex symbol for nearly five decades and well into her 60s, Seymour scoffed.

“I’ve never thought of it that way,” she said, noting that she and her Bond character were both virgins. “So hardly a sex symbol. I didn’t know what sex was.”

Since then, Seymour has posed in “Playboy” three times, in 1973, 1987, and last year, when the magazine said the actress “is more of a sex symbol now than when she played a Bond girl.”

To Seymour, sexy means being comfortable in your own skin at every age. That’s why she hasn’t had plastic surgery, the actress said.

“I made a choice a long time ago not to do all the things that other people do because I’m not trying to look like me when I’m 20 or 30. It’s kind of pointless,” she said. “So, I just thought, let’s put on a gray wig and have some wrinkles and actually play characters.”

Seymour said she’s one of the lucky actresses who’ve landed great roles after 40.

“Hollywood’s been pretty good to me, actually,” she said. “Back in the day, they used to say if you’re a woman and you’re 40, you’re done. Well, when I was 40, I got ‘Dr. Quinn.’ So that’s when I started. And to be honest, right now I feel like this is my moment because there are all these amazing characters that I can now play without having to worry about whether I look like a leading lady.

Her eyes glimmered: “And I can still play it like a leading lady if I put my hair and makeup together.”

 

The Absolute Dater – Making Online Dating Easy Again

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If You Miss Using Dating Apps Now That You’re In A Relationship, Here’s What To Do

After all of that swiping, matching, chatting, and meeting, you’ve finally landed yourself a keeper. You’re in a relationship with a great person, but sometimes, you still miss using dating apps. You may be wondering whether having the occasional urge to swipe is something you should be concerned about, which is a totally valid question. It turns out that there are a number of reasons why you might miss dating apps. The explanation may be as simple as you’re easily bored and you miss having a mindless activity to distract yourself with, or it could be more complicated — and could potentially be an indicator that you’re unhappy with some aspect of your relationship.

I spoke to Dr. QuaVaundra Perry, a licensed psychologist who specializes in couples’ therapy and relationship distress. She explains that there are a few things to consider if you’re in a relationship but find that you miss dating apps. She provided a list of questions to ask yourself, which, when answered honestly, can help determine if there is an unresolved issue within yourself or your relationship. Before you start to panic, you should ask yourself the following four questions. Then, evaluate your answers based on Dr. Perry’s expert advice.

1. What is it about dating apps that you miss?

Stocksy/Guille Faingold

This is the first and most important question to ask yourself, according to Dr. Perry. She explains that the specific type of dating app that you miss can help shed some light on your situation.

“If you miss being on sites aimed to connect people looking for long-term relationships, it may mean you are unfulfilled with respect to your partner’s goals and values,” says Dr. Perry. “However, if you miss being on dating apps that are designed to promote casual sexual hookups, it may indicate unfulfilled sexual desires in your current relationship or differing views on monogamy.”

Depending on which category you fall into, you may need to have a serious conversation with your partner about your needs that are not getting met, and how this could impact your future together.

2. When and why did you use dating apps?

Stocksy/Javier Pardina

It’s also important to evaluate when and why you visited dating apps or sites in the past because that can help explain the reasons behind your current urges to get back on them.

“Do you notice that you browse the sites mindlessly out of habit when you are bored or do you visit the sites when you feel rejected and alone?” says Dr. Perry. The former isn’t as big of an issue as the latter and can be more easily addressed and rectified. Consider downloading a few games on your phone. That way you can still be entertained, but without any consequences in terms of your relationship.

3. Are you happy in your relationship?

Stocksy/T-REX & Flower

“Another issue can be taming the mindset of finding the one,'” says Dr. Perry. “Oftentimes people are happy in their relationship but may feel compelled to continue using dating apps in case they are missing out on the perfect mate. Do you find yourself browsing out of curiosity?”

This is a common obstacle to finding a relationship on a dating app or at least getting someone to fully commit. It’s not out of the ordinary to question whether there is someone else out there for you who might be “better” than your current partner. This question of “What if?” may explain your reluctance to stop swiping.

4. Are you secure with yourself?

Stocksy/Studio Firma

Finally, ask yourself whether you are secure and confident in yourself. How is your self-esteem? Do you tend to get your confidence boosts through compliments from other people, or does that love come from within? This may be the hardest question to answer honestly, but it’s so important.

“At times, you may find yourself missing dating apps because it gave you a sense of validation and attention, even if short-lived,” says Dr. Perry. “It may be worth exploring whether you are looking outward for comfort and praise that can only be fulfilled within.”

There are a number of possible explanations why you might feel the need to use dating apps even though you’re in a committed relationship. Before you act rashly, though, consider what is missing from your relationship — and whether your current partner is able to help meet those needs.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Do You Have Chemistry In Real Life? 3 Signs It Only Works Over Text

You’ve been texting back and forth for days, and you’re already smitten by their flirty remarks and sharp wit. “Could this be the one?” you ask yourself, blushing by the glow of your phone screen — that is until you meet your date in person and your dreams are instantly crushed. Now, you’re wondering: Do I have chemistry in real life, or only over text?

I’ve witnessed this dating debacle firsthand.

“I don’t get it,” my girlfriend Angie* told me, as she lamented about yet another disappointing Tinder date. “We had this amazing back and forth banter going all week, he was super confident and funny. Then we finally meet up and it was awkward AF.”

It’s no secret that our phones play a massive role in dating nowadays — not only are we using them to meet people, but we’re also using them to get to know someone and assess whether they’re a good match. The problem with this is that our communication over text isn’t necessarily a solid indicator of our actual chemistry in person. By the time we meet up with someone, we’ve often already built up an understanding of who they are, based merely on the messages they’ve been sending — and that picture isn’t necessarily accurate.

“I have clients who spend two weeks texting because they want to get to know a person — but the only way you get to know a person is by meeting face to face,” Fran Greene, Licensed Clinical Social Worker and author of The Secret Rules of Flirting, tells Elite Daily. “It creates a sense of false intimacy, which can lead to a huge disappointment. The only way to gauge chemistry is to meet in person.”

Wondering whether your digital chemistry doesn’t quite translate when you’re face-to-face? Here are some signs that the sparks are flying on your phone screen, but not IRL.

You feel like your texting partner and your date are two different people.

You can’t count how many times your date’s texts had you sending the heart-eyes or smirk emoji. Undoubtedly, they have some serious digital game. When you meet in person, however, it’s a whole different story. That flirty charm is nowhere to be found.

“It can go from very affectionate texts to a very reserved and even distant feeling,” says Greene. “This can happen if the ‘vision of your crush’ is nothing like what you imagined even if you have exchanged photos.”

Sometimes you may have to be the one to make some moves to knock down your crush’s walls a bit. You can try breaking the touch barrier by putting a hand on their shoulder or knee while you’re laughing, and see how they respond. Still, if you feel like they were pretending to be someone they’re not, there’s a chance you fell for your texting partner and not your actual date. Maybe over time, your date will be able to open up and show their true selves, and you’ll finally be able to tell whether that chemistry is still there.

You’re doing far more of the conversational work in person.

Over text, your convo felt like a tennis match, with thought-provoking questions and clever responses being tossed back and forth — easy, natural, and equal. In-person, your conversation feels like throwing a tennis ball into the abyss, only to get nothing back. What gives?

“The conversation just flowed over text and when you meet in person, the silences are agonizing,” says Greene. “In-person, your anxiety can influence your spontaneity, and having a warm body in front of you changes everything — it becomes real!”

If it’s the first date, try to keep in mind that your date’s lackluster responses may be a matter of nerves. There’s a chance they might open up over time as they become more comfortable with you, and your in-person convos will match the ease of your texting ones. They could just be a little shyer when it comes to face-to-face interactions — or, of course, you could just have better texting chemistry than you do IRL.

They took their sweet time texting back.

When you’re texting, you have the advantage of taking a long pause to craft the perfect response. That’s not the case IRL — which is why you may feel like the chemistry that was explosive over text simply doesn’t exist in person.

“It’s often easier to text than talk,” adds Greene. “You can add and delete words and use emojis when texting.”

If your conversation is lacking in person, think back to when you were texting. Did it seem like there were some pauses in between their responses? They may have been editing their texts to perfection — and now that you’re making eye contact, they don’t have that luxury. Keep in mind that many of us can’t summon quite the same witty responses on the spot that we can come up with over text. The reality is, however, that your perceived chemistry may be rooted in their ability to edit their messages, which they can’t do IRL.

If you suspect that your texting chemistry isn’t quite matching up IRL, don’t stress. First of all, this is a super common conundrum.

“Because your expectations are off the charts, the likelihood of being disappointed even just a little is the norm,” explains Greene. “The best thing to do is to take a deep breath and don’t be so hard on yourself or your date. You both may be a little nervous because you thought you both found a match — and maybe you did!”

This common dating debacle is why Greene recommends waiting no longer than a week to meet up after you begin texting with your crush. While there may be extenuating circumstances sometimes that delay your date, it’s best not to wait weeks before you hang out IRL.

“It is a huge waste of your time to spend days texting as if you were long-lost lovers,” she added.

Remember: It’s a lot easier to be the best version of yourself over text. Not only do we tend to be more confident behind a screen, but we have plenty of time to weave together smart, quippy responses. The best thing to do is not to make any snap judgments on a first date, as there are lots of factors (mainly nerves) that can come into play and throw off your chemistry. Give your date a chance to relax, and time will tell whether or not the chemistry is still there IRL.

*Name has been changed.

Thank you for reading my blog. Please like, comment, share, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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How Do I Date in My 60s?

That’s actress Morgan Fairchild. She’s over 60 and hot as hell!
It’s a myth that men and women over 60 are no longer interested in physical intimacy and relationships.

Sure, they may experience some different dating challenges than they did when they were younger, but every year countless singles over 60 seek love, find it, and get married. You can, too.

Read on to discover how to navigate this new chapter of your life.

1. Join a Senior Dating Site

The number one venue where you can easily find other attractive and eligible singles in their 60s is a senior dating site. Everyone else on the site is in your age demographic and, by creating a profile, has indicated their interest in dating and relationships.

Here are two of my favorite options:

Match.com

★★★★★
4.9/5.0

Match.com

Match.com Dating Website

Relationships: Friends, Dates, and Relationships

Match System: Browse by zip, age, appearance, more

Our Experts Say: “Match.com has more “over 50” members than any other dating site, and it has a simple matching process that is responsible for millions of romantic connections…” Full Review »

Match is one of the most established names in the online and mobile dating space, and you can create a free profile within five minutes. It’s also free to browse for matches, receive matches based on the site’s algorithm, send flirts, and finding listings for local Match events.

EliteSingles

★★★★★
4.7/5.0

EliteSingles

EliteSingles.com Dating Website

Relationships: Serious Relationships

Match System: Search, Receive Partner Suggestions

Our Experts Say: “EliteSingles caters to highly educated single men and women, and it uses an advanced Fraud Detection System to make sure everyone is who they say they are…” Full Review »

EliteSingles is great for seniors who value education as almost 100% of its members have earned a bachelor’s, master’s, and/or doctorate degree. You also shouldn’t have any problem finding someone for a relationship on EliteSingles because almost 100% of its members are commitment-oriented.

The thing I love most about dating sites is that they aren’t anything like meeting people at bars, which often cater to a much younger crowd. Senior dating sites provide a perfect replacement for that need in your life.

2. Consider Having a Makeover

Once you get to be over 45, every time you re-enter the dating world, whether it’s after a breakup, divorce, or the death of a spouse, you should consider sprucing up your image.

Photo of a woman putting on makeup

If you need some inspiration, do a web search on some of your favorite mature celebrities. Or go to the makeup or personal care counter at your favorite department store and ask for help. Or hire a personal shopper who can do all the work for you. Or ask a family member or friend to go shopping with you or rummage through your closet with a discerning eye. You get the idea.

Your new image will put a smile on your face, and that will help you be your most confident self.

3. Attend Local Events, Groups, Classes & Activities

One of the inadvertent benefits of working is you’re actively interacting with people every day. For example, that place you get your coffee en route to the office gives you the opportunity to meet new people and interact with them.

Photo of seniors working out

Typically, by the time you’re in your 60s, you’re retired, semi-retired, or rapidly winding down your full-time job. You need to replace some of that interaction. Local events are great for that, and you can find them by checking bulletin boards or visiting Meetup.comEventbrite, or Facebook Events.

4. Figure Out Your Dating Pace

Some senior singles may want to go on dates every week, while some may prefer to go on dates every other week. Figure out what works best for you and your lifestyle.

I recommend going on numerous dates and dating more than one person at a time until you’ve got a routine down that you’re comfortable with.

5. Stay Motivated

Whatever your goal may be, whether it’s sex, friendship, personal growth, companionship, dates, or love, you need to make some concerted efforts to achieve that goal. Let your goal be your driving force.

Photo of a note that says I can

Write down your goal (or goals) in a journal and reflect on it weekly. As you do so, you’ll fuel your self-motivation.

6. Turn to Your Friends & Family for Support

Identify those friends and family members who will be supportive and expectant of weekly dating updates from you. Share your dating news with them only. Avoid those who always say things like “It’s hard to find love at your age, “All the good women are taken,” etc.

Photo of senior friends

Until you’re in a relationship and calling each other boyfriend or girlfriend, I recommend keeping things under wraps confiding only with your circle of trust.

If you can’t think of anyone like this in your life, working with a coach who specializes in senior dating, like me, can really help. You have someone who is rooting for you and in your corner; someone to email and share your ups and downs and challenges with.

7. Keep With Traditional Dating Behavior

Leaning back on gentlemanly and ladylike behavior will always stand you in good stead when you’re dating in your 60s. The etiquette of your first handful of dates with any new potential mate should be a bit traditional.

A first date should be something quick and casual like going for coffee, drinks, or drinks and appetizers, and you two should meet at the chosen venue. For the second date, the man should pick the woman up at her place, and he should pick up the tab.

Ladies, allow the man to suggest a few places to meet that fit his budget. Don’t suggest meeting at a bar for cocktails that start at $20 each. Guys, it’s OK to suggest an interesting venue with some conversation-prompting ambiance. Maybe not the dive bar, but the cool, locally owned Italian restaurant could be good.

8. Do the Personal Growth Work

After 60, you’ve likely been through a divorce or two, or you’re widowed like I am. Before you fully launch yourself into the world of dating, please do some personal growth work with a good therapist. Aim for working with him or her for three to six months just to exfoliate any of the emotional scars and learn some new healthy communication strategies and relationship skills.

You could also read books about personal growth or attend some workshops and seminars.

You don’t have to have a diploma in dating and relationships, but starting the personal growth work will help you attract people into your life.

9. Be Prepared to Openly Talk About Intimacy

The expectations and timing for intimacy and sex are different when you’re over 60. I’ve found that both senior men and women prefer waiting a bit longer. However, around the fourth date, the subject will probably come up.

Photo of mature couple in bed

Men, if you’re having some erectile dysfunction issues, you may want to at least start the conversation with your primary care physician and get a prescription prepared. Or you can go the holistic route and ask the folks in the supplements section of your health food store what they would recommend.

Ladies, now is not the time to look at yourself naked in the mirror and start tearing apart how you look. When you’re in bed with your man, you will be the only lady there, and he will be delighted.

Dating in Your 60s Does Take Effort, But It’s Worth It

Many things are different when you’re dating in your 60s. It does require a strategic approach and some concerted effort, but remember it’s worth it — and you’re worth it. Sharing all of you with another person is worth it. If you want to find love, you can. I’m cheering you on. You can do it. Let your heart be your compass!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

12 Things Guys Shouldn’t Text to the Woman They Love

Texting Through Romantic Relationships

It’s true, we are obsessed with our phones. It used to be we talked on phones, but now they are instruments of impersonal communication via texting. It’s sad that relationships hang on this type of interaction. Today I present some advice to you guys about what not to text to the woman you love. In general, women tend to be more sensitive about the following issues; and in general, men tend not to be concerned with some of them. These are not blanket statements because of course there are plenty of exceptions.

The best relationships come from direct, face to face, voice to voice communication. It’s called talking, being together. You can’t hold hands through your device. If you and your honey are texters, whether dating, courting, or married, don’t step on these texting minefields.

1. Birthday and Anniversary Greetings

If your gal (or anyone else for that matter) is having a birthday, sending her a text with a simple Happy Birthday is so impersonal you might as well be sending it to your accountant or mailman. Even worse is Happy Anniversary. She is going to have hurt feelings and probably give you a piece of her mind. Is it too much to ask to take time out of your busy life to buy a card? Or to express yourself in a way that reaches her preferred love language? There are some very romantic men out there who are good at such things, and plenty who are clueless or clumsy with it. Regardless, texting those sentiments are tacky.

2. Declaring Your First “I Love You”

Saying ‘I love you’ for the first time is a huge deal. Sending it in a text is just wrong, lazy, hollow, and inconsiderate. She wants to see the light of tenderness in your eyes and you should want to look into hers. If you think that’s unnecessary, your love is questionable. True love does not hide behind a screen.

3. Marriage Proposals

“Will you marry me?” If you know what’s good for you, and more importantly, what’s good for your girlfriend, and your relationship, don’t pop this question in a text. You are sure to get a “no” and an ear full of rebukes. Besides, why would you not prefer to look into her eyes, and slip that ring on her finger in person? You may think, Well I can do that the next time I see her. But it is not likely you’ll see her again if you pull that little stunt. Texting is impersonal. If you can’t propose in person, you are not ready for marriage.

4. Arguments

Your girlfriend may want to argue with you as much as you do her in text form, but it’s a minefield fraught with danger. Why?

First, because when you are not together face to face you can’t hear the tone of voice, see the facial expression, or see their body language; thus it is easy for you both to misunderstand each other.

Secondly, it’s easier to say unkind things that you wouldn’t say in person. Your inhibitions are freer; Hiding behind your phone screen and issuing harsh words is cowardly.

Thirdly, text arguing involves a lot of time. You may take short cuts in the exchange because you tire out and won’t be thorough in your thoughts.

5. Breaking Up

Texting a break up is the best example of cowardice I can think of. When you want to break up your relationship (this applies to her too), it’s tempting to be calloused and not care how it affects her if there has been bitter discord between you. But this is about being a mature adult. Doing the hard things in life shows strength and character. Lowering the boom on someone with no personal interaction is going to make it easier for you but harder for her. If the relationship has been full of toxicity on one or both sides and will trigger a lot of hurtful drama, a text may be the answer after all but write it at a time when you are calm and can carefully construct it.

The interesting thing about text is that, as a medium, it separates you from the person you are speaking with, so you can act differently from how you would in person or even on the phone.”

— Aziz Ansari, Modern Romance

6. Giving Bad News

Perhaps you hear that her best friend was in an accident and died. Should you text her the news? Heavens no! Bad news to the one you love requires you to be there to comfort them with your warm embrace and words of solace. Give her the news in person. Here are some examples of bad news not to give on a text:

  • Death of a loved one
  • A serious health diagnosis
  • Loss of your job
  • A serious accident
  • A crime committed by someone you both know or being a victim
  • Anything that would be a gross disappointment or tragedy

You can surely think of more.

Don't text bad news.
7. Apologies

Gutless! Text apologies are once again, impersonal. It says you are not courageous or respectful enough to face her in humility. It may feel safer and easier for you, but it may cause her to doubt your sincerity. Not only that, but it robs you both of a chance to have a real heart to heart, to talk things out, and clear up any misunderstandings. You can’t kiss or hug and make up through an electronic device.

8. Sexting

I don’t know many people do this. In fact, none that I’m aware of, but few people share that kind of information. Aside from the immorality of it, and not honoring your and your lady’s body, you also run the risk of it getting into the wrong hands and a big, humiliating mess for both of you. People drop or forget their phones in public places; in someone else’s home; in a place where children or teenagers can get to it.

This would include nude photos. Requesting her to send such photos is degrading her and if it gets into the wrong hands there could be dire consequences. It’s the same if you send her photos of yourself. Respect and honor her and your relationship.

9. Texting and Online Activity While You Are With Her

It is downright rude and boorish to text while with someone. It’s likely the one you love is doing the same thing because that is 21st-century life (that doesn’t make it right or healthy). How can you enjoy one another’s company if your texting others, scrolling social media, or checking the football scores? How can you get to know each other better if you’re on your phone? How do you sustain a relationship if you talk very little? How can you express your interest and love for one another while ignoring each other?

Make changes and encourage your love to put away her phone so you can enjoy each other. Today, many romantic relationships consist of texting and sex. This is shallow, dishonorable, and robbing you both of the delights of a true love relationship.

Don't text when you're together.
10. Gloating About How Much Fun You’re Having Without Her

It’s not wrong for either of you to be with friends while the other is not there. In fact, it’s healthy. If you like to go to the gym with a friend to work out, or she likes to go shopping with her friend, there is nothing wrong with that. But there are times when your time with friends can make her feel left out and that you enjoy the company of others more than her. Gloating through texts about the fun you’re having without her, especially multiple times in a time frame (including photos) is hurtful. Here are some scenarios that would apply:

  1. Going to parties and family events without her.
  2. The habit of spending and demanding more time with the guys.
  3. Telling her outright you prefer the company of others more than her.
  4. Trying to make her jealous by talking about the other women (or taking photos) in your company.
  5. Accusing her of trying to spoil your fun.

Attitude and intentions are the defining factors. Are you deliberately cutting her out because you find your friends’ company more fun? Are you mad at her and want to get back at her? Do you demand your right to go wherever you want with whomever you want, whenever you want, and indicate she is unwelcome? Do you enjoy texting her these things? If so, you will lose her eventually, and rightly so.

11. Jealous Accusations

Unjustified jealous texts can be made by both men and women, but this article is for men. If your girlfriend or wife is out shopping or having lunch with girlfriends, working extra hours, don’t spoil her day by texting her your suspicions she is cheating or flirting; it will damage your relationship. If she’s never given you a concrete reason to believe she’s been unfaithful then it is your insecurity you need to address.

12. Cancelling Last Minute

Emergencies and urgent matters crop up from time to time and we have to cancel something at the last minute. Happens to everyone from time to time. Calling to cancel is best but texting suffices.

The wimp-out is when you’ve canceled in a text after she’s been waiting and ready to go and do it flippantly with no real reason, or you tell her you decided to do something else instead. Boo! Not nice.

Two Set of Keys

You may have caught onto the keywords reflecting the attitude and the heart of the person who sends the kind of texts listed above.

  • Insensitive
  • Cowardly
  • Impersonal
  • Shallow
  • Lazy
  • Hollow
  • Rude
  • Boorish
  • Inconsiderate
  • Hiding
  • Hurt feelings
  • Degrading
  • Dire consequences
  • Risk
  • Humiliation
  • Danger
  • Immoral
  • Robbing
  • Dishonorable
  • Jealousy
  • Demanding
  • Criticism
  • Wimp-out

It’s never too late to learn and apply better communication skills. Here is a list of things guys should incorporate into their texts:

  • Honor
  • Love
  • Respect
  • Affirmation
  • Value
  • Humility
  • Delight
  • Personal
  • Tenderness
  • Touch
  • Personal
  • Comfort
  • Voice
  • Body language
  • Embrace
  • Face to face
  • Being a Man

Hopefully, the message here is loud and clear. Shun the negatives and embrace the positives and you will only gain more blessings in your relationship and develop integrity and a kind and sensitive heart.

What’s not so great is that all this technology is destroying our social skills. Not only have we given up on writing letters to each other, we barely even talk to each other. People have become so accustomed to texting that they’re actually startled when the phone rings. It’s like we suddenly all have Batphones. If it rings, there must be danger.

— Ellen DeGeneres, Seriously, I’m Kidding

One helpful tool is to put yourself in her place. Ask yourself how you would feel if she did the same things. I know some men would take no offense at a text “Happy Anniversary,” or hearing the first “I love you,” but would be hurt by some of the other things on the list. True love wants and gives the very best.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1