Attractive People Reveal the Ups and Downs of Being Beautiful, and It’s Hard to Say If They’re Lucky

Many tend to think that beautiful people have it easy, and they do, in some ways. But many studies show it’s hardly heaven on earth for them. Some may even leave you wondering if beauty is more of a curse than a blessing.

Bright Side is aware that looks aren’t everything and good-looking people agree with us.

1. People of the same gender like to put them down, and many times they succeed.

Research shows that people feel threatened by beauty and when encountering someone beautiful, they may plan to put them down out of fear or jealousy. For instance, research has proven that if an attractive person has a job interview and is being questioned by a recruiter of the same gender, chances are, they won’t get the job because the interviewer will feel threatened.

People in the office might have a tendency to gossip about good-looking people because they can’t take away their looks, but they can kill their character. Those with good looks agree and express those people are constantly more competitive — specifically with them, pissed off if they don’t feel happy all the time, projecting their insecurities on them, and pushing them away for fear of competition, rejection, jealousy, or any other reason. They feel continually judged like they’re on stage.

2. People usually have higher expectations of them.

Psychologists call this phenomenon the Halo Effect, which is the way people link all kinds of positive features to their beauty by association. But in the case of attractive people, many associate them not only with positive features but also with positive results. Therefore, if someone’s good-looking, they expect them to have a loving family, a successful job, and easy life. Attractive people feel that there are a lot of expectations that they perform well professionally and that their career success naturally has to keep pace with their looks.

But it’s not that simple because they fail too. And the harsh part is that they’ll be continuously judged for it. And heaven forbid if they complain. Many people believe that if someone is attractive, everything bad that happens to them is their own fault.

3. They’re a bit smarter than others, even if some people believe they’re dumb.

A study has suggested that they might be a bit smarter than others. It discovered that intellect is linked to proportional and fit bodies. However, handsome individuals struggle with the stereotype that because they’re good-looking, they must be stupid. They have even gone as far as saying that their friends have confessed that they thought they were too pretty to be smart.

Attractive people may have even experienced the consequences of this stereotype. If they showed they were smart in any way, people wouldn’t like it, and would still judge them. They believe that you’re not allowed to be attractive, kind, intelligent, and self-sufficient all at the same time.

4. Many think attractive people are also nice, funny, and trustworthy.

Because of the Halo Effect, no matter their age, many people unconsciously believe that if someone is gorgeous, then they’re also kind, funny, honest, and reliable.

Handsome individuals admit they’ve experienced this bias and share the fact that people tend to be nicer to them. They’re also able to be more open because people are more forgiving with them. Even children are comfortable around them almost immediately.

5. They’re more persuasive even if they’re not trying to be.

Your uber has arrived

Being attractive gives people more confidence, which grants them the power to persuade others. It has been shown, for example, that when recruiters interview people of the opposite sex for a job, they’re more likely to hire someone attractive because their beauty influences their decision. And even if cute people aren’t trying to persuade someone to go their way, they just need to ask for something to get what they want.

As a result, gorgeous individuals confess that they can get away with things like passing an exam, getting out of parking fines, or getting into clubs for free. Fortunately, many don’t like using their beauty charms to their advantage. They know they have a lot of superficial power over a lot of people but have little-to-no interest in using it.

6. People tend to think they’re healthy.

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Research suggests that facial symmetry can be perceived as a sign of health and that people with facial features that are not deemed as beautiful are more prone to catch a disease and become ill. Aside from the face, the body also counts. It’s not news that people who are considered attractive have a fit body and are an average weight, which makes healthy people stand out. Many beautiful people take care of their bodies and try to stay in shape. They believe in a healthy diet, some light exercise, water, and daily sunscreen.

7. It’s hard for them to find out if someone loves them or is just fooling around.

At the beginning of a relationship, they tend to have some doubts about the intentions of their significant other. Handsome people are not sure if a man or a woman loves them deeply or is simply attracted to them physically. They may even think their partners just want to brag about their looks.

This is why they complain that it’s hard to find a relationship with someone who knows them. They feel like others just tolerate their personality and don’t embrace it. Some beautiful women admit they’re not sure if guys are interested in getting to know them or if they just want a trophy girlfriend.

8. They get too much-unwanted attention which can be tiring, intimidating, and dangerous.

The smile from that handsome man was ok, but after a while, being in the spotlight makes them uncomfortable, awkward, and can lower their confidence. They tend to be insecure, because of the hyper-focused attention on their bodies, and feel like there’s nowhere to hide. If that’s not enough, they also get creepy looks from strangers with bad intentions, so they need to be extra cautious about where they go.

9. But looks aren’t eternal or even their best asset, and they know it.

Yes, being beautiful can have its perks, but it still comes with its limitations. It’s also an asset that fades away. As they age, attractive people feel their physical beauty slipping away in a very magnified way. It’s almost like having a superpower that they start to lose control of. The important thing, though, is to remember that it’s not the most fundamental thing that’s necessary to succeed in life. Take it from a cute guy: “Really though, it’s more about the charm I have that lets me get away with a lot.”

As with most things in life, even beauty has its pros and cons. Which of these advantages do you think is the best? Which of the disadvantages do you think would be horrible to put up with? Start the discussion below!

 

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5 Things I Learned After My Husband Cheated on Me

Here’s another post from one of my female readers. I think it’s worth sharing. Take it away, Jill!

I have something to confess: people whom you trust blindly can even deceive you in a span of seconds. I have been married to a man for almost years now. We had an unhappy yet satisfying marriage. Things took a turn when I got to know that he had thrown himself into an affair.

I couldn’t believe for months that the love of my life could cheat on me. Being cheated sucks big time. It doesn’t matter how miserable my marriage was – finding out, the person I loved would betray me – was nothing less than a nightmare.

It was as if cheating on me wasn’t enough. He left me for his girlfriend and married her after 2 years – cherry on the top, they are expecting their first child now. Trust me, this is not an experience you’d be willing to go through.

Do you want your forever to last? Here are some hard-earned lessons that I came across when my whole world crumbled to pieces.

Don’t Blame Yourself

If your husband cheated on you is it your fault? No. You are not to blame for his infidelity. It was a unilateral decision that he made – a choice which was made without your consent. His behavior was a very clear reflection of how he was as a person.

Sometimes, I thought that he left me because I wasn’t good enough. You’ll realize it soon that cheating has nothing to do with appearance, money or education. Stop being guilty.

Material things don’t matter. What’s significant is how you feel in each other’s company. Your husband found joy with someone else, so why blame yourself for it?!

Get Over It

Leave your past behind. Try to bring all the positive vibes that help you move on and get wiser to handle relationships in the future. I was distrustful of everyone initially, but with time I have tried to adjust myself and I have started accepting things.

You cannot remain sad and distressed your whole life. You may plan to look for a job. The best thing is to keep yourself busy so that you don’t have time to think about your traumatizing past.

Know Your Worth

I was in a marriage, where I was willing to give away all I had. But if someone doesn’t value you it’s out of your self-control. Don’t let go of your self-respect for the sake of a happy marriage. I wouldn’t recommend it at all.

Always know your worth! There is no point in staying with a person if it’s an abusive relationship. Try to consult a family law firm if you’ve decided to part ways with your partner. I, for one, realized I’m planting water to a dead flower.

Don’t Force Him to Stay

I made the mistake of forcing my husband to stay in the marriage even when he didn’t want to. There’s no point staying in an unwanted marriage.

Divorce is considered to be taboo in a community. But it’s better to let him go if he wants that. You’d be heartbroken initially but you’ll learn to cope up with life.

If he doesn’t want to stay, he has nothing to lose by negotiating with you. Don’t stoop low by clinging on to him. Forcing things on your spouse would just complicate things in the future.

Forgive and Forget

There will always be these two opinions. Sometimes, you’d think it’s okay to forgive him despite what he did to you. Or, you may go with the flow and leave things for God to decide. Forgiving your spouse will help you move on with life. The trust will come later.

If he’s really guilty, you may forgive him this one time and try to rebuild your relationship with your partner. For me, I always believed that it’s better to be alone rather than to be cheated on.

If you don’t want to forgive your partner, that’s your personal choice. It takes time to heal. It took me years to get past the melodrama, but I had my whole life ahead of me. That was the only reason I decided to forgive him and start afresh with him.

Have you internalized your feelings of rejection? Don’t close yourself from the faucet of truth. You definitely are worthy, important and able. You might want to devote your whole existence to the person you love but that existence may come crashing down.

Everything happens for a reason and only you so have a choice to grow from experiences.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Tales of Rock – Wild Stories Of Rock Stars Taking Their Fame Way Too Far – Part 3

21. The Song “Kickstart My Heart” By Motley Crue Was Inspired By Nikki Sixx’s Overdose
We know that rock stars have a bit of a devil may care attitude to their mortality, but rumors such as these really bring the gritty reality of the rock star lifestyle home to those still thinking it’s all glamour and frivolity. Sadly, this rumor is indeed true, and “Kickstart My Heart” was written after Nikki Sixx enjoyed too many hits of heroin.
After the fatal overdose incident, Nikki Sixx had to be revived in the hospital after being declared legally dead for two minutes until the medical staff was able to revive him. The event didn’t put much of a kink in his party plans after Nikki ripped out the tubes attached to him and returned to the party.
22. Keith Richards Snorted His Father’s Ashes
While the rumor of The Outlawz smoking their fallen brother, Tupac’s ashes in a joint are fairly well known, the rumor that Keith Richards snorted his father’s ashes isn’t all that widely circulated. As one of the most iconic Rock Stars of recent history, it’s not all that surprising that it’s true. Even more baffling, he felt no shame after the event.
The Rolling Stones’ legendary guitarist openly admitted the fact that he snorted his father’s ashes mixed with cocaine after his father died in 2002. He unashamedly told an English rock magazine journalist writing for NME the full details of the event. I don’t think there’s anything else left for Keith Richards to snort that would surprise us. In fact, that’s probably one of the safest things he’s snorted.
23. On The Night Of His Death, John Bonham Drank 40 Shots Of Vodka
Considering the earlier stories about Led Zeppelin on this rumor list, mainly involving the mudfish incident, we can’t say we share much sympathy for the fact that the night John Bonham died he ingested 40 shots of vodka. Whilst death by vodka may not be the most extreme collision a rock star has had with their mortality, it’s really not surprising that 40 shots of vodka is enough to finish someone off.
After he passed away on September 25th, 1980 the coroner found 40 shots worth of vodka the day he died, which he had consumed following a rehearsal earlier that day. The official cause of death was determined as inhalation of vomit. Nice. At least the sex charges won’t stand.
24. Frank Zappa Was Attacked Onstage And Almost Killed
As massive Frank Zappa fans, it’s hard to imagine that anyone would feign such hostility towards one of the most ingeniously experimental minds to have ever graced the rock scene. He wasn’t your typical average aggrandized rock stool. We could have understood someone wanting to punch Axl Rose in the face. But not our precious Zappa.
Turns out, the myth is true, and he was verbally attacked quite frequently for his ‘strange’ and experimental musical tastes. But he was also physically attacked on stage during a live performance and ended up being hospitalized after he was thrown off the stage. We don’t think you could call that person Frank Zappa’s biggest fan! We hope after that he increased his stage security. God rest his fabulous soul.
25. Keith Moon Gave Led Zeppelin Their Name
Whilst this isn’t all that extreme or insane, it’s a little bit fascinating. Plus, everyone likes a fun fact every now and again, don’t they? Well, here you have it. It was through a sardonic offhand joke from Keith Moon, the drummer for The Who, that gave the iconic band their name that probably won’t be forgotten for as long as music exists.
If the stories are true, the name came about when Jimmy Page, Jeff Beck, and John Paul Jones were discussing forming a band. The conversation happened in earshot of Keith Moon who said their music would go over like a lead balloon. When the collective decided to commit to the project they later recalled Keith Moon’s witty offering and so Led Zeppelin was born!
26. The Beatles Smoked a Joint In Buckingham Palace
Now, the details around this one are more than a little hazy (pun intended), but given the photographic evidence, we’re going to say that it’s pretty likely that the rumors are true, at least in part. The rumor was denied by George Harrison years later, but why would John Lennon Lie? (John Lennon was always our favorite.)
Whilst it can’t be proven that they blazed up within the walls of Buckingham palace or just enjoyed a sneaky one on the way down to meet the queen, they definitely look as high as kites in the photos that have been in circulation since they met her majesty, the queen of England. More power to them we say, plus, surely, they’re not the first high people the queen has encountered?
27. Bob Dylan And The Beatles Smoked a Joint Together
There’s nothing we love to see more than rock stars hanging out together. We don’t know why, it just makes us a little warm and fuzzy, like we’re all part of one big happy family. If there was one smoke session we would have loved to have witnessed, it would have been one involving Bob Dylan and the legendary pop artists, The Beatles!
The happy communion happened when the Beatles set about their first official US tour and Bob Dylan kindly offered to share his illicit substances with the doe-eyed, innocent appearing pop stars. What’s the best bit you ask? Ringo smoked the entire joint completely oblivious to the fact that he was smoking anything other than tobacco. Didn’t we tell you that they were innocent?
28. Iggy Pop Fought a Heckling Biker And It Was All Caught On Tape
Iggy Pop was known for his extremely short temper, so this story isn’t exactly shocking. Whilst it’s not the most ‘crazy’ addition to the list, it’s 100 percent true and the evidence stacks against Iggy for his slightly reprehensible behavior. But we suppose we can forgive him. The Passenger was an absolute tune.
We’ll cut a long story short and tell you that the fight broke out after the biker heckled Iggy and refused to stop. Unfortunately for Iggy, he didn’t come out on the winning side. The entire fight was caught on tape by another fan and all we have to say is that maybe Iggy better pick on someone his own size next time. With respect to Iggy for the attempted take down attempt.
29. Jim Morrison Told a Cop To “Eat it”
Whilst the quote isn’t the most reprehensible to have come out of a rock star’s mouth in the last few decades, it’s still a little impressive that he threw so much caution to the wind when verbally confronting an officer.
Jim Morrison proved that he doesn’t much care for authority after a police officer walked backstage and caught him getting a little too involved with a female fan. The officer told the couple to put an end to their debauchery, but it seems by his response Morrison wasn’t all too impressed. Who can blame him? And, what the hell was a policeman doing backstage anyway? Everyone knows anything goes down backstage. Surprisingly, the incident didn’t result in Jim Morrison’s arrest. Stick it to ’em, Jim.
30. Keith Moon Used To Blow Stuff Up
You know how you always have that one friend who is an absolute liability? It turns out that Keith Moon was ‘that guy’ to all of his fellow bandmates in The Who. He even managed to snag himself the nickname ‘Moon the Loon’. Whilst it’s not quite as edgy as modern names for Rock Stars, the cap definitely fit.
Alongside filling his drums with water and occasionally dressing like a cat, Moon also had a bit of a penchant for explosives. Which would have been all fine and well if he went off out into a field or desert, but no, Keith Moon’s primary targets were hotel rooms. Sometimes he blew up hotel room furniture and sometimes he threw explosives at windows. What a fabulous liability.

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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When It Comes to Hooking Up, We Really Do Have a Type

Just as many of us suspected: When it comes to looking for love, we’re stuck in a rut.

“The degree of consistency from one relationship to the next suggests that people may indeed have a ‘type,’ ” says Geoff MacDonald, a University of Toronto psychology professor and co-author of a new study on the subject. “And though our data do not make clear why people’s partners exhibit similar personalities, it is noteworthy that we found partner similarity above and beyond similarity to oneself.”

The study, published in the journal PNAS, has the catchy title, “Consistency between individuals’ past and current romantic partners’ own reports of their personalities.” Using data from a nine-year-long German study of 332 people, the authors found that there are clear patterns for predicting future lovers based on past partnerships.

“So, if you find you’re having the same issues in relationship after relationship,” says lead author Yoobin Park, “you may want to think about how gravitating toward the same personality traits in a partner is contributing to the consistency in your problems.”

The study also found that people tend to date those who resemble themselves, in one way or another.

“There’s definitely a trend I notice in the people I’m attracted to,” Sy Deunom, 23, an operations engineer in Philadelphia, tells The Post. “It’s not something I usually like to admit to, ’cause I feel like I’m pigeon-holing myself.”

In his case, the similarity doesn’t extend to the physical, says Deunom, who finds himself attracted to men with abundant facial hair and strong chests. “I feel like it’s a compensation for myself,” says the Philly resident, who says his own beard is skimpy and he has a deviated sternum.

Ariel Dineen, a 23-year-old researcher at a children’s hospital, finds she’s attracted to a certain personality.

“One of my friends was, like, ‘Your type is the equivalent of a tight black T-shirt — someone who is kind of edgy, charming, the center of attention,” the native New Yorker tells The Post.

That pretty much describes herself as well, she says.

“I think I’m similar to a tight, black T-shirt in some ways, in terms of being a little attention-seeking,” Dineen says.

She believes that dating the same type, again and again, is a kind of catharsis. “I feel like we end up trying to find these types because we try to relive or fix previous situations. It’s a way to amend, in the hope of having a new ending.”

 

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5 Things to Know Before Separating From Your Husband or Wife (That Could Save Your Marriage)

It’s possible to still save your marriage.

Most couples think of separating when they no longer know what to do with their relationship problems. They know they’re not happy.

Perhaps, the love and connection between them feel dead. Maybe they can’t stop the fighting. A marriage separation might feel like the only way to save themselves.

But wait, isn’t a separation agreement just the first step towards divorce?

Separation is a pause in the action and treated with respect where the goal is a happy marriage.

For many people, it is because the pain is too great and the couple is desperate to feel better. They absolutely need to get away or take a break from the daily repetition of dysfunctional dynamics.

In her work, Dr. Sue Johnson, the founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy, refers to the Demon Dances that couples do — the dialogues that couples have over and over that lead to nowhere but more pain, marriage problems, and disillusionment.

When a couple gets locked in their own version of Demon Dancing, they may look to separate as a means to stop the noise without going through an actual breakup.

But separating doesn’t need to be the first step to divorce. Separated couples who structure their separations can quiet the demons while making the space for learning new tools and ways of interacting.

You will most likely need the guidance and marriage advice of a Relationship Counselor or Coach to help you to mediate the various factors which need considering.

Here are 5 things you need to know before committing to a separation — even a trial separation — with your husband or wife.

1. Know your goals

Are you both fully committed to the idea that this separation is to call “time-out” on the difficulties you’re experiencing — not a “time-out” on the marriage?

There should be an agreement that neither of you run off and file for divorce without a full discussion before the end of the agreed-upon separation. That goes for threatening divorce, as well.

The separation is a pause in the action and should be treated with respect. The shared goal is to work back towards a happy marriage.

2. Be aware of the practical implications

It will take some negotiation to figure out who will stay in the home and who will move out.

If there are children, you’ll need to talk to them and make a plan for custody and/or visitation during the separation. Who will take which car? Who will use which credit cards? How will you fund two households?

You will also have to compromise and agree to stay faithful and not date others during the separation if you want to keep a healthy relationship going.

3. Discuss what to tell friends and family

It’s important to develop a script for how to handle the questions of your loved ones. Tell them what they need to know but no more.

Often, couples make the mistake of over-sharing information and inadvertently creating animosity for their relationship. This makes it tough when the two of you have healed and your family still hates your spouse!

Try something along the lines of, “We’re separating to rebuild. We’re still fully committed to our marriage and will be working hard with a therapist. We hope to have a stronger, happier relationship soon.”

4. Agree on how much will you interact

At the very least, couples will need to see each other in regular therapy appointments. At first, this might be the safest way to see one another. You might also agree to weekly dates or times together with your children. You’ll want to decide how often you want to check in on phone, email, or text.

Make a plan that honors both of your needs for separation and connection. It’s likely that you are probably used to some chaos in the relationship, but now is a good time to slow down and breathe.

If you’re the one that typically pursues your partner, this is a good time for you to pursue other interests and participate in self-care.

5. Wait until you’re both emotionally safe to move back in together

This, of course, is a very important question. Each of you should be able to state what you are looking for to feel emotionally safe enough to live together again. You should be able to see clear progress in your marital therapy, including an ability to communicate about important topics.

You’ll want to feel that you’ve resolved and forgiven those hurts which led up to the separation. You will also want a clear plan about how to handle relationship “hot buttons” before they escalate to deal-breaking problems.

I have worked and continue to work with many couples who have taken a break from their marital woes by separating. Those who have consciously structured the boundaries of their time apart have emerged with healthier, stronger relationships.

It may not be right for everyone, but handled well, a separation could just save your marriage.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1